What do you think?
Rate this book
Old Thot Next Door
Old Thot Next Door is indeed a long-anticipated ratchet soap opera thriller by best-selling African American urban fiction author Quan Millz.
Meet Vernita Ernestine Washington, a feisty 76-year-old woman who doesn’t care what you think about her ways, especially for a woman her age. Yeah, she might be a senior citizen, but she’d be the first to tell you age ain't nothing but a number!
She’s convinced the honeycomb between her legs doesn’t taste a day older than 40. "Don’t let the gray hairs fool you now!"
A retired employee of the Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles, Mrs. Washington runs the mean, cold streets of Chi-town messing with all types of young thugs with multiple felonies. A widow for some time now, Vernita is determined to make up for her stale marriage. However, when a major health scare sets her back, she finds herself losing everything.
Reality sets in that her time on Earth is about to come to a close. Now faced with a death sentence, Vernita seeks to live out her remaining days being the biggest old super freak. She gets her mojo back and begins living her life again. But a major, surprising twist will throw her life into more unpredictable chaos.
Listen to more in Old Thot Next Door!
Meet Vernita Ernestine Washington, a feisty 76-year-old woman who doesn’t care what you think about her ways, especially for a woman her age. Yeah, she might be a senior citizen, but she’d be the first to tell you age ain't nothing but a number!
She’s convinced the honeycomb between her legs doesn’t taste a day older than 40. "Don’t let the gray hairs fool you now!"
A retired employee of the Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles, Mrs. Washington runs the mean, cold streets of Chi-town messing with all types of young thugs with multiple felonies. A widow for some time now, Vernita is determined to make up for her stale marriage. However, when a major health scare sets her back, she finds herself losing everything.
Reality sets in that her time on Earth is about to come to a close. Now faced with a death sentence, Vernita seeks to live out her remaining days being the biggest old super freak. She gets her mojo back and begins living her life again. But a major, surprising twist will throw her life into more unpredictable chaos.
Listen to more in Old Thot Next Door!
Audible Audio
Published August 4, 2023
1472 people are currently reading
2358 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 352 reviews
June 18, 2023
Y’all what the hell 😂
Read
May 2, 2023This book both killed me and revived me. A true wild experience.
September 21, 2023
ok i don't usually read books like this but quan millz popped up on my tiktok and his shit is just so funny and i can't stop reading it. it's so entertaining. my guilty pleasure.
April 15, 2024
reading this was truly a singular experience, when i tell u this is top-notch genre-bending entertainment!!! despite the ridiculousness of it all there were some elements that gave it that bit of urgency and seriousness i wasn't expecting at all and, not to spoil too much, vernita really is a great unreliable narrator!! if quan millz has no fans, i'm dead because ms vernita washington is my girl and i'll keep her in my thoughts for a long time!!!!!!!
June 1, 2025
This was so damn fun. I love Vernita. Besides a few minor issues that should have been caught by the editor and the ending getting a little bit too wild this was an all around pleasure to read
February 22, 2024
this was the most mind-blowing, amazing, thought provoking book ever… i cannot believe quan millz was born in our timeline, from this alone— you’d think they were Shakespeare or Jane Austen, but no.. they’re a master in of itself with the utmost expertise. when i first looked at the book i was blessed by the title of ‘Old Thot Next Door’ a tear immediately went down my leg in amazement as i felt a growing sensation in my stomach as my eyes went wide with desire. this feeling was growing more as I read chapter-by-chapter. A tear was brought to my eyes as i soon read further, congratulating quan millz’s mom for taking those backshots and doing it raw so our lord and savior quan millz was born and soon, would create this masterpiece. words cannot express how much i love this book, my heart fluttered with joy and my eyes rolled back in pleasure with every word. thank you, quan millz..🩷
September 18, 2023
If David Fincher and Satoshi Kon teamed up to write a thrilling, mind-bending blaxploitation novel, they probably would have come up with this.
October 7, 2023
Quan Millz…baby are you ok?
This was something else!!! If you need a lot of good laughs and want to clutch your imaginary pearls then this is the read for you! Mrs. Vernita was wild!!! I kinda want to be like her when I get older minus the killing lol. Colvin was a hot mess! He just couldn’t leave well enough alone. The ending was such a surprise. There were lots of typos but I knew what Quan meant lol. I need this made into a Tubi movie right now!!!!
This was something else!!! If you need a lot of good laughs and want to clutch your imaginary pearls then this is the read for you! Mrs. Vernita was wild!!! I kinda want to be like her when I get older minus the killing lol. Colvin was a hot mess! He just couldn’t leave well enough alone. The ending was such a surprise. There were lots of typos but I knew what Quan meant lol. I need this made into a Tubi movie right now!!!!
November 28, 2020
Ms.Vernita!!!!
Whew chile, Ms. Vernita was something else! For an old woman she was a bad bitch! I can't imagine a 75 year old doing dicks but hunni I guess once a thot always a that lol. The ending had me on edge! I knew something was up. But the way she smirked out the end I fell out
Whew chile, Ms. Vernita was something else! For an old woman she was a bad bitch! I can't imagine a 75 year old doing dicks but hunni I guess once a thot always a that lol. The ending had me on edge! I knew something was up. But the way she smirked out the end I fell out
October 14, 2025
"See – one thing ya’ll gon learn about Vernita is that I really don’t give a damn about anyone’s opinions. Life is too short to be caught up on how people think of you. You gotta do you, child! Shit, you got one life to live! Live it to the fullest. Ain’t nobody got time to get their time wasted."
"Speaking of cream… I could feel my pussy getting juicier than a fresh pot roast."
We stan a sexually liberated older woman living her best life (and who might, or might not, have a hidden dark side) ✊🏽
On a more serious note, the audiobook narrator was *chef's kiss* They elevated my listening experience 110% and breathed life into the MCs. I'm a fan now! I hope they narrate more of Quan Millz's books!
January 30, 2022
This finale was crucial and I almost did not give it a full five stars because-- was any of this even real for Vernita?
The book was a rollercoaster ride for me and it had all the wonderful ingredients to make me turn pages faster and faster. Vernita's sexcapades comes to a grinding halt when she realizes she is losing her mind...or is she? I don't know, but I think it is refreshing to have Detective Colvin's POV up in this one because I needed grounding. However, in many ways he could seem unreliable too.
Vernita did not know whether she was coming or going and it was legit scary. This is what bumped the book up five stars. Somehow, someway, the story turns suspenseful and Vernita at the center of a widescale Criminal Minds type of scene.
On a more deeper note, the subject of mental illness, hospital malpractice and dark secrets plays out here and some scenarios were just too much for me, I had to inhale and exhale.
Great storytelling here.
The book was a rollercoaster ride for me and it had all the wonderful ingredients to make me turn pages faster and faster. Vernita's sexcapades comes to a grinding halt when she realizes she is losing her mind...or is she? I don't know, but I think it is refreshing to have Detective Colvin's POV up in this one because I needed grounding. However, in many ways he could seem unreliable too.
Vernita did not know whether she was coming or going and it was legit scary. This is what bumped the book up five stars. Somehow, someway, the story turns suspenseful and Vernita at the center of a widescale Criminal Minds type of scene.
On a more deeper note, the subject of mental illness, hospital malpractice and dark secrets plays out here and some scenarios were just too much for me, I had to inhale and exhale.
Great storytelling here.
September 6, 2025
Goodness gracious me 😩😅🙈 what a MESS!
June 1, 2025
★★★
this is what shakespeare aspired to write but never could
unironically i wish vernita had had more sex. bitch started hallucinating and no longer wanted to get dicked ✊😞 (#ripqueen)
«But riding some young dick is truly what regulates my blood pressure and keeps my cholesterol down.»
«Speaking of cream… I could feel my pussy getting juicier than a fresh pot roast.»
«From the moment I was introduced to him, I was completely turned off! My pussy dried up within seconds. Got drier than the damn Sahara!»
«That man probably can’t even see his dick! His stomach is so big, n**** look like he’s pregnant with triplets!”»
«Every couple of seconds I had an orgasm. This dick right here was damn near giving Vernita a hysterectomy.»
«Soon as I saw that dick print I swear my pussy started having multiple seizures.»
«Nosey ass mothafucka. I had it in me to report his ass to the immigration authorities. Black ass mothafucka.»
this is what shakespeare aspired to write but never could
unironically i wish vernita had had more sex. bitch started hallucinating and no longer wanted to get dicked ✊😞 (#ripqueen)
«But riding some young dick is truly what regulates my blood pressure and keeps my cholesterol down.»
«Speaking of cream… I could feel my pussy getting juicier than a fresh pot roast.»
«From the moment I was introduced to him, I was completely turned off! My pussy dried up within seconds. Got drier than the damn Sahara!»
«That man probably can’t even see his dick! His stomach is so big, n**** look like he’s pregnant with triplets!”»
«Every couple of seconds I had an orgasm. This dick right here was damn near giving Vernita a hysterectomy.»
«Soon as I saw that dick print I swear my pussy started having multiple seizures.»
«Nosey ass mothafucka. I had it in me to report his ass to the immigration authorities. Black ass mothafucka.»
December 21, 2024
I can't believe Quan millz just ended Shakespeare with this book
June 8, 2025
life changing
August 10, 2021
Wild
Quan Millz has a new fan in me. This was a wild ass ride. It had me laughing out loud because of how absurd it is and that ending???? Wooooo. Literary gold. Fun and fantastic read.
Quan Millz has a new fan in me. This was a wild ass ride. It had me laughing out loud because of how absurd it is and that ending???? Wooooo. Literary gold. Fun and fantastic read.
November 22, 2024
I must admit that I only read this book because of the cover. Don't be fooled by the name or cover of the book. This story is definitely a page turner. Be prepared for a wild ride.
October 26, 2023
What if Trapped in the Closet was 300 pages
What a book, definitely not what I expected all those twists and turns. I was getting emotional whiplash. This horny ass lady was a trip and I kind of do love that she was getting away with everything. But I also hate her and every other character. But they also made me laugh. But they also made me mad with their weak sex scene. Honestly I don't know what to think. Read at your own expense but it is wild lol.
What a book, definitely not what I expected all those twists and turns. I was getting emotional whiplash. This horny ass lady was a trip and I kind of do love that she was getting away with everything. But I also hate her and every other character. But they also made me laugh. But they also made me mad with their weak sex scene. Honestly I don't know what to think. Read at your own expense but it is wild lol.
October 9, 2025
… I have no words, but I’mma try to find a few:
This book has EVERYTHING- steam, lust, highs, lows, twists, turns, and Vernita MF Washington!
I truly haven’t read anything like this before and I was entertained from the first line of this book. I laughed, I gasped, I was totally speechless (honestly, my mouth was agape most of while I was reading this).
The twists and turns are unlike any other. My only regret is that I read this with my eyes instead of listening to the audio where Vernita narrates it herself.
5 stars. Ate. No crumbs.
This book has EVERYTHING- steam, lust, highs, lows, twists, turns, and Vernita MF Washington!
I truly haven’t read anything like this before and I was entertained from the first line of this book. I laughed, I gasped, I was totally speechless (honestly, my mouth was agape most of while I was reading this).
The twists and turns are unlike any other. My only regret is that I read this with my eyes instead of listening to the audio where Vernita narrates it herself.
5 stars. Ate. No crumbs.
July 25, 2025
I have never been this shocked and stunned but this was unnecessarily offensive
October 12, 2025
Wildly entertaining. It really doesn’t matter that this book doesn’t have the editorial precision or mastery of language that you’d expect from a major publisher. Quan Millz is able to keep pace and subvert expectations and tropes in the way a bitch with a MFA from NYU just couldn’t. It’s because the storytelling comes from a place of wanting to entertain, not from a place of “creative” vanity. In doing so it says just as much as a book with more literary hype and fanfare would, but you are completely free of an arrogant author trying to beat a dead horse and themes that have become progressive clichés in recent decades. I have never read anything like this and I doubt in 100 years someone could do it half as well as this. This is exactly the sort of shakeup the literary landscape needs, I want more books like this, and more authors like Millz
January 1, 2021
Hot ghetto mess! But I loved it!!
If you are looking for a quick hot drama filled messy read then this is the story for you! Straight out gate the mess is flying into the fan!
Vernita Washington is one crazy character that you love to hate. A chef's kiss to the author for creating such a dramatic piece of work. I was hooked until the end. Can't wait to jump into part 2 baby!!!
If you are looking for a quick hot drama filled messy read then this is the story for you! Straight out gate the mess is flying into the fan!
Vernita Washington is one crazy character that you love to hate. A chef's kiss to the author for creating such a dramatic piece of work. I was hooked until the end. Can't wait to jump into part 2 baby!!!
April 16, 2025
So, definitely judge this book by it's cover and title, you must be at least 35 to read this book😂😂😂. But then get ready for some serious CRAZY!!! I mean the drama is totally unexpected, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened, but in a thoroughly entertaining way!
December 19, 2024
"Are you ready for your literature lessons?"
*Shakespeare gulps*
*Austen breathes heavily*
*Joyce nods nervously*
*Dickens sighs*
"Yes, Quan Millz" they say in unison
*Shakespeare gulps*
*Austen breathes heavily*
*Joyce nods nervously*
*Dickens sighs*
"Yes, Quan Millz" they say in unison
January 19, 2025
Loved this book so much. The audiobook is an absolute MUST!!! *Chefs kiss*
May 28, 2025
this book changed me, it’s so heartfelt and quan millz is truly an international best selling author. the plot twists come out of nowhere and he is a literary genius. please read
June 21, 2025
i’m shocked too. genuinely really enjoyable and the plot twists were so insane 😭😭😭
more like a 3.5 but rounded up cause i’m so shocked
more like a 3.5 but rounded up cause i’m so shocked
July 19, 2025
five stars because my personal audio narration was a magnificent experience.
May 24, 2025
3.5⭐️
Rounded up to four to give Quan some flowers cause I actually enjoyed the book 😂
He’s been all over TikTok so when I saw this book was available on Spotify, of course I had to listen to it lol.
Going into the book I expected it to be a hot mess. Yes, the book description says it’s a thriller, but I was not expecting a super well thought out story. Lowkey I was wrong. This is a legitimate murder mystery with an unreliable narrator.
I figured based off the title that it was going to be a book composed of mostly physical scenes. Don’t get me wrong, there were A LOT and ya girl was clutching her pearls throughout the book. But I also caught myself gasping at the twists throughout the story from the thriller aspect. Quan really had me thinking I was losing my mind right along with Vernita 😂 whole time she was well aware of everything going on in the story. He really got me lol
Rounded up to four to give Quan some flowers cause I actually enjoyed the book 😂
He’s been all over TikTok so when I saw this book was available on Spotify, of course I had to listen to it lol.
Going into the book I expected it to be a hot mess. Yes, the book description says it’s a thriller, but I was not expecting a super well thought out story. Lowkey I was wrong. This is a legitimate murder mystery with an unreliable narrator.
I figured based off the title that it was going to be a book composed of mostly physical scenes. Don’t get me wrong, there were A LOT and ya girl was clutching her pearls throughout the book. But I also caught myself gasping at the twists throughout the story from the thriller aspect. Quan really had me thinking I was losing my mind right along with Vernita 😂 whole time she was well aware of everything going on in the story. He really got me lol
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 13, 2025
honestly, it was pretty good. probably 4.5 stars. it had a solid plot line, and incredible account of dementia/hallucinations, and the characters were hilarious. the sex scenes were lewd as fuck and the whole book is ratchet as fuck but it was a nice comedic relief to an otherwise heavy topic. the writing was solid, lots of big words were used which made me chuckle even more given how absolutely graphic it was. I would honestly recommend it, I had a fun time listening to it and just when I didnt think it could get any funnier, it do.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 352 reviews