Love Without Hurt: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One

by Steven Stosny

Are you the victim of a chronic anger, verbal or emotional abuse? Do you constantly second-guess your thoughts and behavior to avoid being hurt or put down by your husband or boyfriend? If you are among the one out of three women trapped in a hurtful relationship, you can end the abuse and rebuild a loving, compassionate environment for you and your family. In Love Without Hurt, psychotherapist Dr. Steven Stosny explains the many forms of verbally and emotionally abusive relationships so you can identify abuse and why it’s so important to take action to change your relationship-especially because, if you have children, they have become innocent victims of the same abuse. Drawing from the revolutionary techniques of his CompassionPower “boot camp,” this practical program shows you self-healing techniques to help you recover from the pain and abuse, as well as methods for your partner to rewire his anger, resentment, and abusive behavior. Love Without Hurt is an essential guide for ending the cycle of resentment, pain, and abuse and developing a loving relationship.

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Marriage, Personal Growth

384 pages, Paperback

First published December 31, 2007

About the author

Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the founder of CompassionPower. His recent books are, Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress, Living and Loving after Betrayal, How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words, Love without Hurt, The Powerful Self, and Treating Attachment Abuse. He has treated over 6,000 clients for various forms of anger, abuse, and violence. He has appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” “The Today Show,” “CBS Sunday Morning,” many CNN shows, and in the New York Times, Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, WSJ, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, O, Psychology Today, USA Today. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland. He currently has a blog on Psychologytoday.com with over 9 million views.

Reviews

[Oresta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book about abusive relationships acknowledging that it is very difficult to get help via counseling, other self help books, and psychotherapy.
Also it allows for greater understanding as to why abusers became that way. Scattered throughout the book are questions and self examination areas to make the understanding interactive.

[Carrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful in immediately and practically learning to view hurt/anger and triggered emotions constructively rather than reinforcing victimhood.

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit offensive to psychotherapists, and too stereotypical in assigning gender roles, but the recommendations are very sound. If one can get past that, it is a very useful book.

[Diana Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

I experienced this as one of the few effective, insightful books in this largely illusory and recursive genere.

[Tegan | Snakes Don't Wear Braces · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are definitely useful elements in here and I think the general thrust is on the right track. I would say that the writing is not plain English enough to use as a self directed tool for many cohorts in my community and some of the metaphors and aspects are difficult to get your head around which is unfortunate. Dating back 16 years now I would say it also isn't hitting the mark for our understanding of the subtle aspects of family violence and there are parts that could very much be used by the more manipulative of abusers.

[Alisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I’ve read on emotional abuse. It incorporates ACT, Gottman’s work, and a compassion focused approach. I will use this with both men’s and women’s groups, as well as marital therapy.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Needs to be high school required reading.

[Dan Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book truly changed my life! Very powerful. Deeply helpful in getting to the roots of my insecurities, anxiety, and anger and helping me train myself to respond to triggers and stessors differently.

One thing I’ll note is that I found it essential to truly commit to the practices laid out in the book. As the author himself mentions, “insight and understanding is not a replacement for practice.” It really takes discipline and time to make lasting changes.

[Cindyt]

Great story!

[Dr. Dena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poignant + compelling read on responding to core hurts w/core value + compassion. Highly recommend for distressed + prospective couples alike. Relationship advice must emphasize compassion.