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Ancient Wisdom for Modern Readers
How to Grieve: An Ancient Guide to the Lost Art of Consolation
An engaging new translation of a timeless masterpiece about coping with the death of a loved one
In 45 BCE, the Roman statesman Cicero fell to pieces when his beloved daughter, Tullia, died from complications of childbirth. But from the depths of despair, Cicero fought his way back. In an effort to cope with his loss, he wrote a consolation speech—not for others, as had always been done, but for himself. And it worked. Cicero's Consolation was something new in literature, equal parts philosophy and motivational speech. Drawing on the full range of Greek philosophy and Roman history, Cicero convinced himself that death and loss are part of life, and that if others have survived them, we can, too; resilience, endurance, and fortitude are the way forward.
Lost in antiquity, Cicero's Consolation was recreated in the Renaissance from hints in Cicero's other writings and the Greek and Latin consolatory tradition. The resulting masterpiece—translated here for the first time in 250 years—is infused throughout with Cicero's thought and spirit.
Complete with an inviting introduction, Michael Fontaine's engaging translation makes this searching exploration of grief available to audiences once again.
In 45 BCE, the Roman statesman Cicero fell to pieces when his beloved daughter, Tullia, died from complications of childbirth. But from the depths of despair, Cicero fought his way back. In an effort to cope with his loss, he wrote a consolation speech—not for others, as had always been done, but for himself. And it worked. Cicero's Consolation was something new in literature, equal parts philosophy and motivational speech. Drawing on the full range of Greek philosophy and Roman history, Cicero convinced himself that death and loss are part of life, and that if others have survived them, we can, too; resilience, endurance, and fortitude are the way forward.
Lost in antiquity, Cicero's Consolation was recreated in the Renaissance from hints in Cicero's other writings and the Greek and Latin consolatory tradition. The resulting masterpiece—translated here for the first time in 250 years—is infused throughout with Cicero's thought and spirit.
Complete with an inviting introduction, Michael Fontaine's engaging translation makes this searching exploration of grief available to audiences once again.
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First published January 1, 46
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About the author
Marcus Tullius Cicero
8,052 books1,964 followersBorn 3 January 106 BC, Arpinum, Italy
Died 7 December 43 BC (aged 63), Formia, Italy
Marcus Tullius Cicero was a Roman philosopher, statesman, lawyer, political theorist, and Roman constitutionalist. Cicero is widely considered one of Rome's greatest orators and prose stylists.
Alternate profiles:
Cicéron
Marco Tullio Cicerone
Cicerone
Note: All editions should have Marcus Tullius Cicero as primary author. Editions with another name on the cover should have that name added as secondary author.
Died 7 December 43 BC (aged 63), Formia, Italy
Marcus Tullius Cicero was a Roman philosopher, statesman, lawyer, political theorist, and Roman constitutionalist. Cicero is widely considered one of Rome's greatest orators and prose stylists.
Alternate profiles:
Cicéron
Marco Tullio Cicerone
Cicerone
Note: All editions should have Marcus Tullius Cicero as primary author. Editions with another name on the cover should have that name added as secondary author.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
January 14, 2023
This is an odd but interesting entry in Princeton Press's Classical Wisdom for Modern Readers. How to Grieve was written by the ancient Roman advocate, statesman, and philosopher Marcus Tulles Cicero. But the manuscript has been lost. So what is being presented here? What translator Michael Fontaine rightly characterizes as a "reconstruction" of the original. We don't know who the actual author of the book is (though historians have their suspicions). We only know that it was written in the 16th century, at the height of the Renaissance. And it was written very much in the style of Cicero, incorporating all the known fragments from the actual Consolation (the original title), as well as numerous references to other known works by Cicero, especially his Tusculan Disputations. The result is an amazing book that introduces us to the wisdom of the ancients on the difficult topic of grief, wisdom that is still very much pertinent in the 21st century.
April 24, 2024
this book is not fully written by cicero, it was taken from a lot of his different texts, and pasted together with some quotations and footnotes from the secondary author. considering how long ago cicero lived, i am impressed by some of the ways he talks about transgressing sexist norms. nonetheless, i disagreed with a lot of what he said. i honestly think he can’t admit his grief in fear of masculine humiliation, so he copes by trying to, but ultimately failing to deify his daughter to the level of the gods. i literally have never heard anything so crazy, i think that cicero would benefit a lot from modern day trauma therapy. nonetheless, i like how the book is structured and there are some useful insights.
April 12, 2025
I was worried this might go over my head. Then I discovered men making shit up to back up their own ideas and shutting down refutes is as ancient as the species. His love for his daughter and pain at her loss echos as true across the essay. Stoicism has its strengths but emotions are a necessary part of grief. Freud (who I also have problems with...shocking I know!) did astutely observe that without true mourning we will find ourselves plagued by melancholia. I did enjoy the snippet stories of ancient thinkers, healers and civilizations peppered throughout his writing.
April 7, 2024
Overall, I continue to enjoy reading the "Ancient Wisdom for Modern Readers" series. Each entry reinforces my belief that - although it's not necessarily a popular view right now - many "dead white males" still have important lessons to teach anyone willing to learn them.
Having said that, this entry was not one of my favorites - probably because it really isn't the work of the great Roman orator Cicero. As noted on the jacket description and in translator Michael Fontaine's Introduction:
"In 45 BCE, the Roman statesman Cicero fell to pieces when his beloved daughter, Tullia, died from complications of childbirth. But from the depths of despair, Cicero fought his way back. In an effort to cope with his loss, he wrote a consolation speech - not for others, as had always been done, but for himself. And it worked. Cicero's 'Consolation' was something new in literature, equal parts philosophy and motivational speech. Drawing on the full range of Greek philosophy and Roman history, Cicero convinced himself that death and loss are part of life, and that if others have survived them, we can, too; resilience, endurance, and fortitude are the way forward.
Lost in antiquity, Cicero's 'Consolation' was recreated in the Renaissance (1583) from hints in Cicero's other writings and the Greek and Latin consolatory tradition. The resulting masterpiece - translated here for the first time in 250 years - is infused throughout with Cicero's thought and spirit."
The problem with this version (by an anonymous writer...probably Venetian) is that it contains a lot more Christian perspective from the Renaissance than it does classical Roman thought. Throughout most of the book, I felt as if I were reading something by St. Augustine, not Cicero. Consequently, I was glad to be done with it, and I don't see myself ever re-reading it (unlike many of the others in this series).
Still, I'm glad I read it. And I did pick up some gems, a few of which I'll share to end this review:
“…remember:
• You’re human.
• Nothing is more human than death. If death could be ripped out of you and spirited away, you’d be more god than human. The name ‘human’ wouldn’t really fit you, since you’d be skipping the most universal and characteristically human experience.
• Tears achieve nothing. If they did, you’d not only want to shed them copiously, you’d want to force them out zealously.
•If you grieve excessively, you’re not just misguided, you’re also disgracing yourself. That’s because disgrace is worse than grief, inasmuch as grief is a natural human instinct and there’s nothing shameful about it; whereas disgrace should be criticized precisely because it always entails some stain of guilt.
All excessive grief is disgraceful and unnatural because grieving excessively and unreasonably is a conscious choice. It engenders a weakness that men must shun and abhor…” [pp. 39, 41]
“If we actually think about it,
• Why run from pain and adversity? They breed fortitude in us, and without them we’d never know what it means to be mentally tough.
• Why flinch at death? Its steady drumbeat admonishes us to better ourselves. It stops us from engaging in activities that could earn us a reputation for intemperance or injustice.
• Conversely, why crave material things and the junk the masses love? Once we have them, we become soft, weak, and so overwhelmed by those seductions that we barely remember it’s all coming to an end someday.” [p. 55]
“When many people are involved in some minor accident, you’d think they’re crushed, devastated – as if what’s happened were totally unprecedented or weren’t bound to happen to them sooner or later! Just when they should be at their toughest, they go so far as to forget, not only the resilience that they and their forefathers showed in the past, but even the laws of human nature and almost their very selves. Such is what mental softness, and bondage to grief, have bought.” [p. 81]
“You see, just as death means nothing to the man who isn’t born yet, so it will mean nothing at all to the man who’s dead.” [p. 143]
“…nothing can happen to man that should leave him lying in despair…It’s by facing the truth that we become better and more resilient in enduring adversity and accomplishing great tasks…” [p. 189]
“Moreover, consider the dead themselves. How could we imagine they’d enjoy us being wracked with grief, especially since it does them no good and it brings us enormous shame and distress?” [p. 191]
“And that explains why we see all of life misaligned by ignorance and error. You see, the qualities that ought to be man’s priorities in life – piety, philanthropy, and personal greatness – are practically all neglected. By the same token, we eagerly seek out the things we should most avoid; some blind striving impels us to embrace the things that utterly degrade and debase our lives. It’s the source of insatiable desires which cause us to witness not only individual people, but whole families and entire civilizations wiped out.” [p. 195]
“…we must repress the cravings that too often attract us to things that impede greatness. Success will come most easily if we stay focused on the outcome of this glorious struggle.
Moreover, the focusing itself is so sweet that we’ll do the job willingly and cheerfully, and we’ll complete it with no trouble at all. You can actually see that in the case of exceptional and glory-seeking people…
…for a competitor locked in a struggle for glory, an incredible pain blocker or shock absorber is the hope of the immediate advantage or glory that awaits…
When the splendor of greatness fills your eyes and the pursuit of glory captivates your heart, you don’t feel fatigue. Even if you do finally become aware of it, it hardly makes any difference, since you’re so completely in the zone…” [pp. 207, 209]
Having said that, this entry was not one of my favorites - probably because it really isn't the work of the great Roman orator Cicero. As noted on the jacket description and in translator Michael Fontaine's Introduction:
"In 45 BCE, the Roman statesman Cicero fell to pieces when his beloved daughter, Tullia, died from complications of childbirth. But from the depths of despair, Cicero fought his way back. In an effort to cope with his loss, he wrote a consolation speech - not for others, as had always been done, but for himself. And it worked. Cicero's 'Consolation' was something new in literature, equal parts philosophy and motivational speech. Drawing on the full range of Greek philosophy and Roman history, Cicero convinced himself that death and loss are part of life, and that if others have survived them, we can, too; resilience, endurance, and fortitude are the way forward.
Lost in antiquity, Cicero's 'Consolation' was recreated in the Renaissance (1583) from hints in Cicero's other writings and the Greek and Latin consolatory tradition. The resulting masterpiece - translated here for the first time in 250 years - is infused throughout with Cicero's thought and spirit."
The problem with this version (by an anonymous writer...probably Venetian) is that it contains a lot more Christian perspective from the Renaissance than it does classical Roman thought. Throughout most of the book, I felt as if I were reading something by St. Augustine, not Cicero. Consequently, I was glad to be done with it, and I don't see myself ever re-reading it (unlike many of the others in this series).
Still, I'm glad I read it. And I did pick up some gems, a few of which I'll share to end this review:
“…remember:
• You’re human.
• Nothing is more human than death. If death could be ripped out of you and spirited away, you’d be more god than human. The name ‘human’ wouldn’t really fit you, since you’d be skipping the most universal and characteristically human experience.
• Tears achieve nothing. If they did, you’d not only want to shed them copiously, you’d want to force them out zealously.
•If you grieve excessively, you’re not just misguided, you’re also disgracing yourself. That’s because disgrace is worse than grief, inasmuch as grief is a natural human instinct and there’s nothing shameful about it; whereas disgrace should be criticized precisely because it always entails some stain of guilt.
All excessive grief is disgraceful and unnatural because grieving excessively and unreasonably is a conscious choice. It engenders a weakness that men must shun and abhor…” [pp. 39, 41]
“If we actually think about it,
• Why run from pain and adversity? They breed fortitude in us, and without them we’d never know what it means to be mentally tough.
• Why flinch at death? Its steady drumbeat admonishes us to better ourselves. It stops us from engaging in activities that could earn us a reputation for intemperance or injustice.
• Conversely, why crave material things and the junk the masses love? Once we have them, we become soft, weak, and so overwhelmed by those seductions that we barely remember it’s all coming to an end someday.” [p. 55]
“When many people are involved in some minor accident, you’d think they’re crushed, devastated – as if what’s happened were totally unprecedented or weren’t bound to happen to them sooner or later! Just when they should be at their toughest, they go so far as to forget, not only the resilience that they and their forefathers showed in the past, but even the laws of human nature and almost their very selves. Such is what mental softness, and bondage to grief, have bought.” [p. 81]
“You see, just as death means nothing to the man who isn’t born yet, so it will mean nothing at all to the man who’s dead.” [p. 143]
“…nothing can happen to man that should leave him lying in despair…It’s by facing the truth that we become better and more resilient in enduring adversity and accomplishing great tasks…” [p. 189]
“Moreover, consider the dead themselves. How could we imagine they’d enjoy us being wracked with grief, especially since it does them no good and it brings us enormous shame and distress?” [p. 191]
“And that explains why we see all of life misaligned by ignorance and error. You see, the qualities that ought to be man’s priorities in life – piety, philanthropy, and personal greatness – are practically all neglected. By the same token, we eagerly seek out the things we should most avoid; some blind striving impels us to embrace the things that utterly degrade and debase our lives. It’s the source of insatiable desires which cause us to witness not only individual people, but whole families and entire civilizations wiped out.” [p. 195]
“…we must repress the cravings that too often attract us to things that impede greatness. Success will come most easily if we stay focused on the outcome of this glorious struggle.
Moreover, the focusing itself is so sweet that we’ll do the job willingly and cheerfully, and we’ll complete it with no trouble at all. You can actually see that in the case of exceptional and glory-seeking people…
…for a competitor locked in a struggle for glory, an incredible pain blocker or shock absorber is the hope of the immediate advantage or glory that awaits…
When the splendor of greatness fills your eyes and the pursuit of glory captivates your heart, you don’t feel fatigue. Even if you do finally become aware of it, it hardly makes any difference, since you’re so completely in the zone…” [pp. 207, 209]
April 12, 2023
The perspective taken on death is abhorrent. I’m dumbfounded that “dying young” is good because life is so guaranteed to tragic it is better to avoid pain. Thankfully, this is an older school of thought. The last twenty Pages had subject matters which were more enlightening but not enough for two stars.
December 29, 2023
A fine work of translation, but for me the content is best left to it's original intent.
In his own words: "If my efforts console anyone, though, as they surely will, it’ll be me."
In his own words: "If my efforts console anyone, though, as they surely will, it’ll be me."
March 3, 2025
So I didn’t realize that this book has the left side of each pair of pages in Latin, and the right side is in English. So this made it a very quick read for me. While I don’t disagree with the premise that death is an ultimately human experience, that is unavoidable and ought to be discussed and prepared for, I totally disagree with the idea that showing heartache is dishonoring to your departed. Or in someway shaming to yourself.
Overall it just felt very dated to me, with references to women being the inherently weaker sex, men being encouraged to show true traits of masculinity (by expressing no emotion, and being stoic and detached)…..and there is a whole element of religion and faith discussed that I just don’t agree with.
I can say that I finished it because it was such a quick read, not really because I liked it. And can’t say that I would really recommend it to anyone. But I’m sure there are those out there who enjoy it. It’s just not me.
Overall it just felt very dated to me, with references to women being the inherently weaker sex, men being encouraged to show true traits of masculinity (by expressing no emotion, and being stoic and detached)…..and there is a whole element of religion and faith discussed that I just don’t agree with.
I can say that I finished it because it was such a quick read, not really because I liked it. And can’t say that I would really recommend it to anyone. But I’m sure there are those out there who enjoy it. It’s just not me.
October 7, 2025
So I didn't realize that this book has the left side of each pair of pages in Latin, and the right side is in English. So this made it a very quick read for me. While I don't disagree with the premise that death is an ultimately human experience, that is unavoidable and ought to be discussed and prepared for, I totally disagree with the idea that showing heartache is dishonoring to your departed. Or in someway shaming to yourself.
Overall it just felt very dated to me, with references to women being the inherently weaker sex, men being encouraged to show true trails of masculinity (by expressing no emotion, and being stoic and detached)...and there is a whole element of religion and faith discussed that I just don't agree with.
I can say that I finished it because it was such a quick read, not really because I liked it. And can't say that I would really recommend it too anyone. But I'm sure there are those out there who enjoy it. It's just not me.
Overall it just felt very dated to me, with references to women being the inherently weaker sex, men being encouraged to show true trails of masculinity (by expressing no emotion, and being stoic and detached)...and there is a whole element of religion and faith discussed that I just don't agree with.
I can say that I finished it because it was such a quick read, not really because I liked it. And can't say that I would really recommend it too anyone. But I'm sure there are those out there who enjoy it. It's just not me.
May 6, 2025
So many baseless assumptions used to claim even more "certainties." Yet to be an early recorder of such nonsense is of significant worth. In that it provides an example of misplaced beliefs, that can aid us in holding our current beliefs loosely. The wisdom of the ages propels us forward, and that propelling tends to illuminate the foolishness of that very same wisdom.
Yet despite all the posturing, his grief over the death of his daughter inspires empathy, and illustrates that his mental gymnastics and "proven assertions" illustrate one method of grieving. Also the story of his legendary acceptance of his own death gives credence to his assertions.
Yet despite all the posturing, his grief over the death of his daughter inspires empathy, and illustrates that his mental gymnastics and "proven assertions" illustrate one method of grieving. Also the story of his legendary acceptance of his own death gives credence to his assertions.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 15, 2024
I was surprised to find that Cicero didn’t write this at all (rather, someone else reconstructed it based on surviving excerpts and Cicero’s general philosophy). It was still an interesting listen. The general argument is: don’t grieve for the dead because either death is like sleep (who doesn’t like to sleep?) or death is freedom from all pain and suffering (and who wouldn’t want that?). Also there are lots of examples (honestly, a surprising number of examples) of Romans and Greeks who were performing rituals and found out one of their adult children had died (this is a very specific event for Cicero to name so many examples of, but okay) and they kept on going without even removing their garlands or taking a hand off of the sacred doorpost. So, dear reader, don’t grieve.
September 28, 2024
I enjoyed this short work by Cicero. You could feel the pain in his words as he almost certainly wrote this during exile from Rome. In fact, many of the texts we know Cicero so famously for were written during his political exiles from Rome.
The text covers many men and women throughout Greco-Roman History and how they either bravely or weakly reacted to loss. It's certainly an interesting insight into the mind Rome's greatest statesman.
The text covers many men and women throughout Greco-Roman History and how they either bravely or weakly reacted to loss. It's certainly an interesting insight into the mind Rome's greatest statesman.
October 17, 2024
Cicero believes that it is possible to use Stoic philosophy to help overcome grief. The greatest loss he suffered was the death of his daughter. Many people believe that it is impossible to get over the death of a child but Cicero tried. One of his arguments was that when a loved one dies they no longer suffer and we should be grateful for that. I don’t know if that would comfort me after the loss of someone I was close to. This book was not written by Cicero but inspired by his ideas.
May 3, 2025
Interesting…
Don’t agree with much, if any, of it. But it was interesting nonetheless.
This text is actually a translation of one that appeared in Renaissance Italy. Cicero’s original was lost - but this claims to be the rediscovered text. Hmm!!
Also this is a really lovely, heavy little book. Beautifully produced, which seems to be getting rarer and rarer these days.
“If death really is similar to sleep, therefore, we’ve been trying it on every night.”
Don’t agree with much, if any, of it. But it was interesting nonetheless.
This text is actually a translation of one that appeared in Renaissance Italy. Cicero’s original was lost - but this claims to be the rediscovered text. Hmm!!
Also this is a really lovely, heavy little book. Beautifully produced, which seems to be getting rarer and rarer these days.
“If death really is similar to sleep, therefore, we’ve been trying it on every night.”
August 26, 2025
This was an interesting entry in the Ancient Wisdom series. Based on Cicero, but not directly -- a Renaissance reconstruction of a lost work. Covers the somewhat alien-to-us thinking of the ancients about death and grief, that honor and good living make death not a bad thing at all. Unclear how much of this is aspirationally Stoic vs the mainstream views of the time, but certainly an interesting way to think about life, death, and grief.
July 13, 2023
Interesting perspective on death, but lost me on some of the more conservative views on religion and women.
December 24, 2023
Good information, but perhaps not the book of grief one should read soon after losing a loved one.
June 11, 2024
quotable, very stoic
September 9, 2025
I obviously have some disagreements with Cicero on his theology, but found this read very interesting.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews