This is such a hard book to review. It's powerful and real, and for me personally, sometimes too real. Robinson gets my admiration for his writing, his voice, the incredible detail and the research he must have done to write this novel. I don't think I've ever read a female voice so real to me as Lily, maybe made more real by how she shares my name. All the other characters in this novel -- they're not only believable but wholly flawed and unreliable people who I wouldn't doubt for a moment existed somewhere in real life if someone told me so. They don't feel like characters, they feel like people. Relatability? That word feels shallow compared to what I wish I could describe.
Which makes the content even harder to get my head around. That doesn't even feel like the right way to phrase what I mean. I don't know how to review this novel. It's hard to talk about the difficult parts without spoilering, but this isn't a book for people with abuse triggers. What happens to these people, what they experience, how they feel, how real and honest and their outlook and attitudes. How abhorrent and despairingly common people like Don are . . . that they grow old without consequence for such things. That even those they abuse can love them and want to hold on. I'm a mess inside but there are sparks there like a good life, too. How hard it is to find wonderful friends, how they come from tiny chances, tiny moments, but how beautiful those people are.
Ray Robinson is brilliant, and his portrayal of a woman with epilepsy, her dreams, her day-to-day, her past, her choices, her mind, the people she meets, is a fresh and assaulting insight that has challenged me emotionally and educationally. My head is a mess of half hating this book. It throws the lives and situations that are hard to talk about and are far too common into daylight. As a writer, I love this book. It's clever, so real. As a reader, my heart feels drowned and washed-up.