Introverts are powerful observers and creators. If you are an introvert, this book will show you how to tap in to your inherent introvert strengths and awaken your potential using mindfulness meditations and cognitive behavioral techniques.
In a world that favors the outgoing, gregarious extrovert, being an introvert can be difficult. But the truth is that introverts have distinct advantages - as long as they know how to use them. Unlike extroverts, who draw their energy from social interaction, your energy comes from quiet reflection. Is it any wonder, then, that mindfulness can help you hone your natural talents?
In The Awakened Introvert, mindfulness expert and card-carrying introvert Arnie Kozak provides a comprehensive set of mindfulness and cognitive behavioral tools to help you maximize your introvert strengths (such as rich access to your interior) while minimizing your introvert weaknesses (such as a tendency toward worry and rumination). In the book, you'll learn powerful strategies to help you monitor your energy; recharge after social interactions; improve social and communication skills; and take advantage of your capacity for quiet reflection and sweet, sweet solitude.
If you're looking to unlock the full potential of your unique introvert brain, this book provides a fun, practical, and authentic user's manual.
ARNIE KOZAK is the founder of Exquisite Mind, a consultation service for individuals, the community, healthcare and other professionals, and corporations. Exquisite Mind teaches mindfulness, the art and skill of living in the present, as a vehicle for managing stress and enhancing quality of life. He was also a Clinical Fellow in Psychology at the Harvard Medical School, where he completed his doctoral training. He lives in Burlington Vermont."
I was going to write something about how this book wasn't particularly well-written and therefore was very slow going for me, but that it might be helpful to people who are new to mindfulness and looking for ways to better integrate their introversion with the lives they lead. But what I'm feeling is actually more complicated than that. I'll try to explain.
A book like this is full of exercises for the reader to do; some of them are written exercises, some of them involve observing your thoughts in different scenarios, and some of them involve particular types of guided meditation. All of them are extremely detailed and, in the case of the meditations in particular, tell you exactly how the meditation is supposed to go and what you're supposed to get from it. This results-oriented view of Buddhist concepts just doesn't sit well with me, and I worry a lot that if people start doing all these exercises and don't see precisely the results they're expecting, they will abandon practice altogether. I think if we do Buddhist practice, we should do it because we feel it's a good thing to be doing, something that makes sense for us. But, to paraphrase the writer Claire Dederer, we shouldn't go to mindfulness practice with our plates held out, asking for more of the same stuff we've always asked for. We need to be open to what might actually happen.
I know this sounds preachy, and I'm sure there are people who can be helped by regimens like this, or corporate mindfulness workshops and the like. But my own experience has taught me that there are just no shortcuts here, and I've apparently come to feel this quite passionately, which is something of a surprise to me. But I believe the time we spend reading writers who are busy trying to explain Buddhism might be better spent reading writers who are busy being the Buddha, if that makes sense. Less doing, more being.
As an introvert, my nerves get overstimulated by outer and inner noise (and oh, how my mental thinking can turn into a cacophony of sound), leading to anxiety. In this book, I found many useful tips for how to deal with the noise, including:
- Deliberately inviting quiet into my life - Celebrating solitude without guilt or shame - Balancing introvert and extrovert activities (not too much of one or the other, but just right) - Protecting my energy (charting how much I'm spending, and how much recovery time is needed) - Engaging in restorative activities - Focusing on body sensations when stuck in a "story" I'm telling myself about a challenging situation - Becoming aware of how my body responds to excessive stimulation - Treating interruptions at work like intrusive thoughts that occur while meditating - Handling overstimulation by bringing awareness to the environment, as an observer rather than a participant
This workbook offers many written exercises and practice meditations, like many New Harbinger publications. Even if you don't do the exercises, there is much to glean from this book.
So good I went out and bought a copy so I could do the exercises.
Here are the notes I took whilst reading:
Have a Personal Elevator Pitch of 30-seconds or 100 words ready to go for social situations. Actually, two; one for strangers to intro yourself and what’s important to you; one for kith and kin to catch them up on what’s new since last we met. (68)
Extrovert Circus (74) I love that as a name for the real world, or at least the social expectations of going out in public.
Walking meditation: inhale, step, exhale, step. But let the breath dictate the speed not the step. (92)
When I buy the book, and am further from the separation, go back and read the solitude with your intimate section on pp 93-4
I appreciate the mentions of how Social Media is tough for introverts! (98 is only one pages that covers it!)
There’s no affirmative verb for spending time alone. But we have an affirmative verb for spending time with people; socializing. (100) this reminds me of the word nonviolent. There’s no word for what it is, just what it isn’t.
I like the solitude contract idea. See p.102
“If you expend too much energy extroverting, you may find that you don’t enjoy the activities you usually enjoy.” (115) After a busy day at work or doing fun, extroverted, things, I find that I don’t have the energy to read!
The QUIET Technique can help be mindful during a stressful time (148-9):
Quit what you’re doing Understand your reaction to what’s happening Inhale Exhale Transition to the next moment of the stressful time.
Schedule a 3-minute pause every hour while working. (156)
Introverts don’t seek out pleasurable activities as much as extroverts because we often find ourselves already in a pleasant state. (169)
Chapter 9: The Buddha was an Introvert, directly ties the Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path into how to be an Awakened Introvert. Which makes sense; Buddha means “the awakened one.”
Perfect for someone completely new to meditation, mindfulness and/or introversion. The downside: it's very basic. The upside: it's the basics. Vague difference between mindfulness and meditation, other experts would probably define them a lot more precisely. It's a light version of mindfulness mixed with a light version of introversion. It offers a good range of simple actionable practices. Perfect for someone at the start of their personal development or spiritual journey, or a nice reminder for a more experienced one.
Interesting read. Everyone has introverted and extroverted qualities and tendencies, so this is good for all, for both self-understanding and understanding of others. Need to find one on extroversion now :-).
There are some helpful ideas, especially if you have not spent much time embracing an introvert mindset. There are some good guided meditations if that is new to you. If you’ve studied mindfulness or meditation already, you won’t find this very helpful.
I received this book as part of a First Reads promotion.
Being a very introverted person, I really enjoyed how this book gives practical ways to deal with social situations in which we all must inevitably participate. The step-by-step workbook allows you to document your progress and how you feel as you complete each of the activities.
The main message that I gathered from this book is that it is OK to be an introvert as long as you don't use it as an excuse to become a loner or a hermit. You must pick appropriate times to push yourself, and the book provides useful ways to overcome anxiety or negative emotions that come with being in loud or overwhelming situations.
The book can also be helpful for extroverts in dealing with introverted people in their lives. By increasing their awareness of introvert tendencies, both introverts and extroverts can build each other up in having happy, stress-free social situations.
I just started this book today. I'm only a few chapters in, but already it is resonating with me. The author's lucid descriptions of what goes on in an introverts mind, as well as the explanations of mindfulness and its practical applications are fascinating and very relatable. I would certainly recommend this book to anybody interested in learning more about their introverted tendencies.
The book appears to be more about meditation rather than truly focused on the special conditions of intense introverts. It could be better categorized as a workshop handout rather than some work with respectable depth.
This book would be useful for an introvert who is into mindfulness meditation practice. For me, it confirmed that mindfulness meditation is not the dominant approach I wish to take to life.
Very practical book for mixing together introverted tendencies with mindfulness practice. Wasn't nearly as "infomercial" or "woo-woo" as the other books on mindfulness that I was reading.
Rides the mindfulness and introvert trends. As someone who is tries to maintain a mindfulness practice this book sounded intriguing. A lot of introvert books talk about how to recharge and how to explain to people how they interact or why they may seem "low energy" at places like parties or conferences or work meetings, etc. This sounded like it would take a different approach to introversion.
It's really a workbook that helps an introvert cope with mindfulness. How identify their needs, what their preferences are, how mindfulness can help an introvert handles situations from parties to trying to sleep, etc. Depending on how much you are a practitioner and/or how familiar you are with introversion you may find the book helpful or you may not.
For someone who's read a bunch of introvert books and practiced (or tried to practice) mindfulness it wasn't particularly earth-shattering or new. I don't really like workbook based type of exercises (I don't want to write in the book!) and it didn't seem like I'd find it too helpful. If I had first received this book when I first came to really understand my introversion and/or learning about mindfulness I might have liked it a lot better.
As others say it's also not as "woo-woo" or New Age-ish as one might think or fear. It also doesn't discuss Buddhism much (at all?) so depending on your needs/wants this may or may not be a good fit for you. I personally prefer that mindfulness-related materials stay away from the New Age aspects but at the same time I also didn't feel there was much it could tell me about introversion.
So it may vary. For someone more familiar with the concepts it might not be for them. For someone who's not interested in mindfulness it also may not be a must-buy. But for someone else the workbook style might be useful and if you're an introvert looking for a way into mindfulness this could be a good book as well. Flip through the bookstore or library before deciding if it's for you.