Cherished Belonging: The Healing Power of Love in Divided Times

by Gregory Boyle

In a world increasingly marked by division and discord, beloved Jesuit priest Gregory Boyle offers a transformative vision of community and compassion—a perfect message for readers of Anne Lamott, Mary Oliver, and Richard Rohr.

Over the past thirty years, Gregory Boyle has transformed tens of thousands of lives through his work as the founder of Homeboy Industries, the largest gang-intervention program in the world. The program runs on two unwavering 1) We are all inherently good (no exceptions), and 2) we belong to each other (no exceptions).

Boyle believes that these two ideas allow all of us to cultivate a new way of seeing the world. Rather than the tribalism that excludes and punishes, this new narrative proposes a village that cherishes. Pooka, a former gang member, puts it “Here, love is our lens. It is how we see things.”

In Cherished Belonging, Boyle calls back to Christianity’s origins as a spiritual movement of equality, emancipation, and peace. Early Christianity was a way of life—not a set of beliefs. Boyle’s vision of community is a space for people to join together and heal one another in a new collective living, a world dedicated to kindness as a constant and radical act of defiance. As one homie, Marcus, told a classroom filled with inner-city teenagers, “If love was a place, it would be Homeboy.”

Cherished Belonging invites us to nurture the connections that are all around us and live with kindness. Boyle believes that “the answer to every question is, indeed, compassion.” Through colorful and profound stories brimming with wisdom, humor, and inspiration, we understand that love is the light inside everything.

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Faith, Psychology, Religion, Audiobook, Memoir

Audible Audio

Published November 5, 2024

About the author

As Executive Director of Homeboy Industries and an acknowledged expert on gangs and intervention approaches, Fr. Boyle is an internationally renowned speaker. He has given commencement addresses at numerous universities, as well as spoken at conferences for teachers, social workers, criminal justice workers and others about the importance of adult attention, guidance and unconditional love in preventing youth from joining gangs. Fr. Greg and several “homies” were featured speakers at the White House Conference on Youth in 2005 at the personal invitation of Mrs. George Bush. In 1998 he was a member of the 10-person California delegation to President Clinton’s Summit on Children in Philadelphia. Fr. Greg is also a consultant to youth service and governmental agencies, policy-makers and employers. Fr. Boyle serves as a member of the National Gang Center Advisory Board (U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention). He is also a member of the Advisory Board for the Loyola Law School Center for Juvenile Law and Policy in Los Angeles. Previously, he held an appointment to the California Commission on Juvenile Justice, Crime and Delinquency Prevention.

Reviews

[Michael -- Justice for Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

No one is evil. Everyone is unshakably good (no exceptions) and we belong to each other (no exceptions). This is the theme, repeated over and over, of “Cherished Belonging” by Father Gregory Boyle. While I see his point, it is going to take a lot of spiritual stretching to fully embrace this.

Father Greg is a remarkable human being. He is the founder of Homeboy Industries, the largest employment and re-entry program for gang members in the world. There are no good or bad people– just the healthy and unhealthy. Homeboy takes in the broken people and offers them hope and a way to heal in a community. The book is filled with anecdotes that are sometimes inspiring, sometimes very funny, sometimes tragic. Too often, when referring to someone, it will be prefaced with the mention that they were gunned down sometime later. It is what happens.

I had to put the book down for a few days. “Cherished Belonging” was published on November 5, 2024– Presidential Election Day. A book urging us to see the good in everyone landed on a day of incredible division and emotional fire. It was extremely difficult to embrace with the rhetoric being spewed out. Father Greg says, “Can anyone be well, whole, and healthy and believe that all men and women are not created equal?”

We are challenged to redefine our cut and dried views of evil. In “No Country for Old Men,” Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones in the movie) is baffled by what men are capable of, and the character of Anton Chigurh is evil incarnate. Author James Lee Burke’s novels openly profess that there are those in this world who must have come from a different source, that their capacity for cruelty is so far removed that it cannot be fathomed by decent folks (whomever they are). “Everyone is unshakably good (no exceptions) and we belong to each other (no exceptions)” -- that idea is very hard to sell in the light of the darkest of human atrocities.

“Cherished Belonging” reads quickly and is never dull– an accomplishment (in my view) for a book classified in the “Religion & Spirituality” genre. Father Greg is not running around suburbia, refereeing social club disputes. He embraces broken people in one of the most dangerous areas of the world. While I do not share all of his unshakeable optimism, it certainly had me questioning my perspective.

Triggers: There are heartbreaking attacks of violence. Language is realistic and unfiltered. Conservative Catholics may also be surprised to see Father Greg chastising those in the Church who are easily offended… “We can’t wait for the Institutional church to find its bravery. The people of God need to move forward. There is no bravery in returning to 1954. If we wait, cobwebs grow on our hearts.”

On a personal note, I knew “Greg” a thousand years ago when we were students at Loyola Marymount University. I played his evil (or unhealthy) son in a play and even attended his ordination. We lost contact, but I have followed his career from time to time, proud to have known him and astonished by what he has brought to the world. In 2024, President Biden awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, a sort of national canonization.

Thank you, Avid Reader Press, Simon & Schuster, and Edelweiss for providing an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Tina · Rating 5 out of 5]

At first I worried this book might be a little more religious than what I was comfortable with. But the book quickly settled into Fr. Boyle's signature homie anecdotes showing warmhearted love and affection for all humans. This book touched on some recent political events and characters, but really stuck to the theme that everyone must belong to us and we must belong to them. Just like with his other books, there were parts that brought me to tears and parts that made me laugh. It felt like a balm to read during this election season. “People change when they are cherished.” Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

[Debbi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another wonderful book from Father Greg. Although my beliefs aren't entirely aligned with the authors he delivers a powerful message of acceptance, compassion and open heartedness. His message is Christian, however he offers stories that have a universal thread. Homeboy Industries is featured prominently. I love hearing updates about the people and organization over the years with each new release . Cherished Belonging is the first book by Father Greg I've read in print. I have loved all of his books as audiobooks and admit that I miss hearing his voice and humor when he tells a story. I will definitely listen to this when it becomes available. As with all of Father Greg's books...highly recommended.
Many thanks to Simon and Schuster and Netgalley for an advance readers copy.

[Lydia]

“Oddly, we all feel held, with our hands open, by Marcos's mindfulness of someone who isn't with us. He finds real joy in allowing Lydia to be present and accounted for with kindness and a singular attention.”

And I found real joy in being included with such humor, thoughtfulness, and warmth. It’s fitting to find a memory I cherish so much in “Cherished Belonging.” Separation is an illusion, indeed.

[Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had never heard of Father Greg Boyle or Homeboy Industries prior to seeing him as part of the Arizona Speaker Series in Phoenix this winter. I can’t say that I was too excited to go listen to a Jesuit priest talk about rehabilitation of LA gang members. He was amazing. This book is wonderful. I’ve definitely been short on compassion for certain others in recent months. It’s helpful for me to consider their actions and behavior in a different light. If we could all embrace these ideas and this philosophy, it would change the world.

[Grace Hernandez · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book called me OUT. feeling super challenged (in a good way) by his message. if you have been grappling in recent years, months, days with how to be in such a divided world as someone who follows jesus - this is your book. but expect to have your ass handed to you.

also small plug for his other books: they are all heart breaking & beautiful & not boring for one second. his writing is what really convinced me of God's love.
at this point, if he writes a book, I read the book.

[Marley B · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5, rounding down to 3 stars. In terms of the messaging and themes, I would give this book 100/10; Fr. Boyle serves as a spiritual guide for me, and his unwavering commitment to the principle that there is no person in this world too broken to be beloved by God is a message that I deeply resonate with and hope to emulate throughout my life's work. I was enchanted, as I have been reading all of his works, by his devotion to the idea that everybody belongs to God and also each other, and I feel that his ultimate purpose of this particular book -- to highlight that one of the biggest barriers to progress (and contributors to our national divide) is this poisonous, pervasive idea that there are "good" and "bad" people (and subsequently, these "bad" people are deserving of demonization and should be excluded from society) -- is an incredibly pertinent and important message for our current political climate.

Fr. Boyle does a superb job of making clear and defending the book's central thesis, which is an argument for shifting the narrative from painting people who stand across the aisle as bad people to simply people who require healing. As he succinctly points out, "no one healthy storms the capitol or is a racist" but rather people who are deeply ill and in need of compassion, cherishing, and support, the same way we would provide a person with physical injury or a less insidious mental health issue. The need for healing can not touch their unshakeable goodness or alter the fact that, as people, they belong to us. I love his continued insistence that the social justice movement is not inconsistent with Christian beliefs, but rather a completion and fulfillment of them. Certainly, after reading, I feel galvanized to increase my impact on my local community.

The vignettes he includes of the "homies" are funny, touching, and powerful. But I found that the connections that he draws between these two elements -- the spaces where he should be reflecting on these stories and connecting them to the book's overall purpose -- fall a bit short. I wish that either he would let the stories speak for themselves, or break them down explicitly with compelling analysis. Instead, it feels as though he picks a middle ground of these two options, providing a surface-level breakdown of the point of his story by tying it back in to the end of the chapter, but never going quite far enough in analysis to say something truly groundbreaking, making it feel as though he is holding back because he is not trusting his audience to "get it", which makes the impact suffer. For this reason, although I LOVED the content, I have to give this book a 3 star rating -- it just didn't do /enough/ for me. Though I suppose this could just be an artifact of myself not being a member of the intended audience; perhaps my personal values were too aligned to learn anything truly new from this book.

"Tenderness is the highest form of spiritual maturity". Perhaps my new favorite Fr. Boyle quote ever. I want to continue to center this idea as I move through this new year.

[Harper · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a long time supporter of Homeboy Industries, I deeply admire Father G’s philosophy and message of cherished belonging and believe more than ever that this message needs to be heard and understood. This book was full of so many interesting stories and tidbits. However, I felt like I was reading a never-ending stream of thoughts that somewhat overlapped but were also disjointed at the same time.

[Grace Conroy · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars. i struggled with this one. i’m not sure if it was because I’m human and imperfect/not capable of seeing god’s reasoning, but i found some major issues with the premise. namely, calling mental illness, broadly, the cause of all human-caused violence and suffering in the world. still fleshing out my thoughts but this humbled my vision of fr boyle a bit

[Claire Mistretta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone should read this book (and if you do, I’d love to hear your thoughts)! Hard but holy if anything has ever lived up to that. I wonder if we’ll get to see the canonization of Fr. Greg in our lifetimes

[Julia DiBiase · Rating 4 out of 5]

a very timely book, grateful for greg boyle and his reminders of our unshakable goodness

[Giulianna · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’ve never read Father G- Tattoos on the Heart is unmatched for me. But I will always learn something from his storytelling and need to be reminded of the inclusive ways to understand god and love :,)

“It is possible to cultivate the ability to exist with anguish and pain without having to control or change it.”

“Yes we want to do the next right thing, but what is the next right thing and who is able to choose it?”

“How we name things matters so much that it could mean the difference between horrible things continuing to happen or not.”

“A movement to advance social justice is gospel living, and it ought not be seen as a threat to the church.”

“Intention is the mist powerful ability that human beings have.”

“We belong with each other, and we need to cling to an insistence that no one is outside of that inclusion.”

[Amy Blythe · Rating 2 out of 5]

All are good, and so, Amen. However, I struggle with his theology, where Jesus is incorrect on points in His ministry and the Bible should be used selectively. I’m sure Fr. G would tell me I’m missing the point, and maybe I am. In that case, I wish he would have made his point better so we could more readily understand.

[Savanna Bagley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this and was grateful to be reading it alongside some tough nonfiction. This was my first introduction to Gregory Boyle so a little more context on his work with gang members would’ve been nice for me but that wasn’t the scope of this project (& now I want to read more of his other work). The stories he shared were both heartbreaking and heartwarming.

Father Boyle proposes an idea that is easy to accept on the surface, very hard to accept when you dig in deep, but truly so important. Though the idea of “love being the answer” seems cheesy, the way he practices that is beautiful. He is proposing a radical kind of love and acceptance that would help heal the world. Just because something is hard (or impossible) doesn’t mean it’s not worth pursuing.

Notes/quotes/thoughts while reading:
- “What if we didn’t punish the wounded but rather sought to heal them” … “in American society we are faced with broken people and have chosen to build prisons to accommodate them, what if we did the reverse?”
- I like the mystic idea of every guest being god in disguise
- Posits mental health issues, trauma, despair as the root cause of “brokenness”. No one is evil just broken. God makes us whole. Only healing will reduce crime.
- “No one healthy spreads disinformation, no one healthy buys it”
- Mary Oliver “pay attention, be astonished, share your astonishment”
- You can’t be curious and judgmental at the same time: choose curiosity!
- “We don’t have enemies we have injuries, we don’t have hate we have wounds, we don’t have fear we have the shared ruin of our common human brokenness”

[Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author returns with more stories from live ministry to pluck our heartstrings and tap into our humanity to interconnect us with the lives of those with whom he lives, works, plays, and shares a common mission. While often formulaic... anecdotes from life at Homeboy Industries interspersed with scripture and homiletics... it is never repetitive or trite but rather touching and poignant in that those with whom society appears to indicate as different and "others" are more likely to share our wit, humor, simplicity, and access to divine redemption.

[Leah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed this book…especially now in a time of such division. Beyond division in our political climate there was so much to learn about how we treat each other at home and at work. I don’t think I have ever highlighted so much in a single book.

[Karen Berlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Illuminating goodness as something that resides in all people, purporting that all belong one to another, and reframing “sin” as “brokenness,” Father Greg Boyle gives testimony to the transformative power of love through personal stories and lessons learned in kinship with those at Homeboy Industries.

[Anne C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was such a timely gift to read. I took my time and tried to absorb the message found within Fr. G’s story. It is a perfect gift to share with others. May we all learn to share our light.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Paradigm-shifting. It felt like a balm for this weary and fractured world.

[Bailey Frederking · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so thankful for Father Boyle’s words and work.

[Cor T · Rating 4 out of 5]

More from Fr. Greg Boyle on accepting every single person as inherently good & doing harm only because they aren't "healthy." I like listening to him as a reminder that there are humans like this in the universe.

[Marlise · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love so much about this!

[Amina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook is an excellent listen, read by the author.

Father Greg’s message reaches my heart. And yes, we belong to each other.

[Bekka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Father Greg is one of my heroes and someone who some time ago expanded my view to a God who finds us all, unshakably good. Full stop. No qualifiers or disclaimers. He also makes sure to emphasize in this book how we all belong to each other, which seems obvious (brothers and sisters) but his articulation of true belonging’s ability to change people through cherishing is brave and also difficult.

I thought a lot this week about his stance that people are healthy or unhealthy. Not good or bad. I also loved his discussion of how we might treat each other if we didn’t lead with fear? All his nuance for humanity is so beautiful. This guys gets it.

[Chris Peck · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy his philosophy on life and find all of his books incredibly moving. the only reason I'm giving the book a 4 is because it could be a bit repetitive. We could all learn something impactful from this book about how we see one another and uphold each other as our best selves.

[Teri Quam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book!!
I believe cherished belonging is the only way......hard work.....intentional but worth it.

[Melissa Sternhagen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Especially in the times we're living in now. My heart is full and so is this book--of so many things I have underlined or notes I have put in the margins.

[Adam Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: Exploration of the role of love, community and belonging.

I have known of Greg Boyle for a while, but I have not previously read his books. I thought I had a good idea of his perspective and approach and I just didn't think I needed to read him. But Cherished Belonging was the book chosen for the book club that I love and so I picked the book up and read it. I think I had a pretty good understanding of Boyle and that my impressions were largely correct. But I was challenged by the book.

Boyle starts early in the book telling the reader that there are two principles that frame his ministry and approach. "1) Everyone is unshakably good (no exceptions) and 2) We belong to each other (no exceptions)." (p2) While there is a bit of fluidity to how he uses "good" in the first part, mostly what he means is inherent worth and value, not moral goodness. I think if you understand him to mean, everyone is made in the image of God and therefore has value, that will be the rough meaning in most situations throughout the book. The stories he shares make it clear that he does not mean that everyone makes good choices or that they always will do the right thing at important points.

With that caveat about how he seems to mean good, I do think that the book is helpful especially in a time when basic Christian values are being questioned. Boyle is remaindering the reader that not only are we called to love, but we are call to love all, even those who are not particularly lovable. He reminds us that those who are most hard to love, generally have been the victims of abuse and harm. Those who have abused and harmed, will often harm others. And as he repeatedly illustrates in his stories, our systems of "justice" often perpetuate more harm instead of healing to those who are at the bottom rungs of our society.

"What if we didn’t punish the wounded but, rather, sought to heal them? In American society, we are faced with broken people, and we have chosen to build prisons to accommodate them. What if we did the reverse? We want to commit to creating a culture and community of cherished belonging. I’m not suggesting that Homeboy is the answer, but we might have stumbled upon the question. As Daniel Berrigan says, “Know where to stand and stand there.” Homeboy just wants to keep standing there." (p5)

Boyle believes (rightly I think) that the way that we best heal those who have been harmed through traumatic abuse, neglect, and other social harms by radical belonging and love. That does not mean that we ignore bad behavior, but that we show that our love is rooted in their value as a creation of God, not in their good behavior, and that we seek to find places that people can be in deep congratulated.

Generally, I agree with most of the book, but stylistically, Boyle is not my kind of writer. I know many people in the group I was in were deeply moved by his stories and method. But I felt a lot of his storytelling was too superficial and quick. He regularly shared three brief stories per page. He frequently drew meaning from stories that I think were strained.

But again, I was convicted regularly throughout the book. I do not love as much as I should. I do judge harshly at times I should not.

When the group first started reading the book was the start of President Trump's time in office. I am a Wheaton College alumni and Wheaton congratulated Russ Vought for his role as OMB Director. That led to significant controversy because many Wheaton alum are international aid workers or in other areas of social ministry. Vought was the primary architect of Project 2025, much of which is designed to remove international aid, social safety-net systems, public education and protections for women, minorities and the disabled. Another very large group of Wheaton alum are politically conservative and supporters of Trump and Vought's policies. As that controversy played out, I was convicted that I needed to be regularly praying for Vought. I didn't know him when I was at Wheaton, but we overlapped I believe. He was several years younger than I am. We just do not have the same theological convictions. Vought is a vocal Christian nationalist who does not believe that the constitution is valid any longer and who does not believe in the separation of church and state. He believes that Christians should have sole authority of control government and he has indicated that he does not think women should have the right to vote. He has celebrates looking forward to a time when federal workers would be too traumatized to come to work.

But I was convicted that I need to pray for him daily. I am not praying for him to succeed in his plans, I find his plans reprehensible and far from Christianity as I understand it. I am praying that he will accept God's love for him and find a community that loves him.

But as much as I was convicted by the book, I think part of the problem of the book is that is often is framed as loving others as a type of ministry and when connected with race and class this can become a type of paternalism. I don't think that Boyle is paternalistic, but I do think that the book doesn't spend enough time helping the reader to take the principles that are in use by Boyle in his context and move that to other contexts.

It is clear from the stories that Boyle isn't perfect, he does get frustrated with people he works with, he has limits, but I do think there can be a perception of super spiritualness in the book. He doesn't talk about his habits of rest or renewal or what he does to remind himself of his calling. That is a different book, but I do think it is part of what it takes to move toward the type of "cherished belonging" that he is calling the reader to. (The group I was discussing this with talked about this and several were getting together to write him about those practices to better understand his own spiritual work.)

I think this can be a valuable book to understand how belonging and love practically do work to bring about healing. I do think that this is helpful is teaching that we are not just called to love those who are easy to love, but also to love those who are hard to love. Boyle writes from his experience and setting. That experience is not a common experience and that setting is one that can by mythologized like other "missionary" books. Most people who read this are going to try to put it into practice is a standard suburban setting and they will likely need help in translation.

One minor note, Boyle uses a lot of Spanish that he leaves untranslated. Most of the time you get the basic meaning from context. But one advantage to reading on a kindle is that you can translate it in the kindle as long as you have an internet connection. I used that feature a lot in this book.

This was originall posted on my blog at https://bookwi.se/cherished-belonging/

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

This year I need to always have a book on my nightstand that offers some light and hope in a dark and scary time. I read just before going to bed. So far this year it has been
Ladder to the Light, by Steven Charleston
Cherished Belonging, by Gregory Boyle
Somehow, by Ann Lamott
I'd love other suggestions.

[Will Whitmore · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never picked up a book by Father Greg and regretted it. This was no different. His words and spirit are a blessing. May we all do likewise