I've a Feeling We're Not in Kansas Anymore

The Buddies Cycle #1

by Ethan Mordden

"We have traded tales, my buddies and I; of affairs, encounters, secrets, fears, self-promotion-of fantasies that we make real in the telling."

In this, the first volume in Ethan Mordden's acclaimed trilogy on Manhattan gay life, he introduces a small group of friends-Dennis Savage, Little Kiwi, Carlos, and the narrator, Bud-and chronicles their exploration of the new world of gay life and the new people they are in the process of becoming.

In a voice at once ironic, wistful, witty, and profound, Mordden investigates his suspicion that all of gay life is stories and that, somehow or other, all these stories are about love.

Genres: Fiction, Gay, LGBT, Gay Fiction, Short Stories, Queer, Romance

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 1985

Reviews

[Erik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Books about gay characters tend to follow one of only a few trajectories, so you can imagine my incredibly pleasant surprise at encountering "I've a Feeling," Ethan Mordden's first in a trilogy of books that recounts, very easily and genuinely, the basics of gay life in 70s New York City.

A book that adeptly follows a cast of characters narrated by Bud, the main character and writer who, I believe is Mordden incarnate in the book, this story follows the various trials and tribulations of participating in gay life. Written with clarity, but also at times an appropriate amount of camp, the book itself really is a master piece of gay writing.

So few works of gay writing or art exist that, rather than focus on love or coming out or death, choose to focus on what otherwise might be simply the banality of being gay and participating in a subculture. Mordden's aptitude for writing beautifully engages with this campy banality in a way that is simply unprecedented, and for that reason, among others, you must read this book.

[Jesse · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've read, with intense pleasure, various installments of the Buddies Cycle over the years in the random order I've come across copies in used bookstores—a tactic which unfortunately did a disservice to this one, the first. The qualities that I most love about the cycle are mostly in an embryonic state here (which is, I suppose, its own point of interest), but it mostly made me just want to skip ahead to later volumes. But it really is fascinating to be aware of which of the various characters scattered across these stories end up becoming essential figures later on, and which drift away never to be heard from again; how very true to life that feels.

"One spends the first years in New York collecting coterie, one's next years trimming it."

[ALLEN · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first (1985) and one of the best of Ethan Mordden's five "Buddies" novels, really a chain of interconnected short stories, in which the author (here called "Bud") and friends play comedic or philosophical version of themselves. Very much gay stories for a gay audience, and at this remove quite dated -- but that's part of the charm.

[George Ilsley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read these books back in the day . . . or at least I read Buddies. Did not know at the time that these books were part of a series. This one I had picked up for its retro cover -- a hardcover with the trade center towers and a rainbow. I read it not too long ago and had not liked it. For some reason, I just re-read it, and was enjoying it, although it is not a novel as is claimed in the dust jacket. However, the last story, about "Roger" is probably why I had formed my initial negative opinion. This piece is long and attempts to describe a mythical gay world, and none of the previous characters appear. What a strange ending for a supposed novel. I confess, I could not read this labored piece of work, so overall the impression of this book was shaped by that unsuccessful piece which stood in for the ending.

One should not I suppose look back at "dated" writing with a modern template. However, I'll just observe that in this class-ridden, segregated, gay Manhattan there are no black people, and the only Puerto Ricans are beautiful teenagers who have no names. Also, in my opinion, a narrator who is a writer is rarely interesting, and here we are given no idea why this particular writer/narrator is supposedly perceived as interesting. The writing in fact is lazy at points, such as when someone is described as leaving a party with a "wonderfully witty remark". Really? Well, guess what? I just thought something extremely clever. And my friend looking over my shoulder just said the funniest thing ever!

[Dennis Holland · Rating 4 out of 5]

Made me wonder if many gay stories are the same except for the storytellers. Interesting compilation of tales about gay life in NYC before AIDS. A great introduction to some intriguing characters.. I’m excited that I will possibly get to know them better in the rest of the series. I particularly enjoyed the intimate look into the (gay) male mindset and I appreciated how oftentimes the narrator, Bud, often stepped out of the story and spoke directly to me. I must say, the authors language and writing style (reminiscent of Wharton) was difficult to read. In the beginning, I thought the reason was because of the step back into the time setting of the 1970s but, ultimately, realized it was due to the caliber of the author. The last tale about beauty and narcissism felt a bit out place but was quite dreamy and thought provoking and I will likely read that story independently again and again.

[Daniel Krolik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mordden does a phenomenal job of straddling the many contradictions of gay culture, creating a world that is in equal parts accepting and discriminating, open to love and self-loathing, vulnerable and skeptical, cerebral and primal. It's totally of its time and still completely relevant. The gay patois has changed since its writing so certain stories and passages need to be reread before they sink in. But Mordden's prose is funny, angry, and magnificently bitchy while remaining completely human. It's a series of interconnected short stories, taking a narrator (Bud) and his circle of friends and acquaintances from the Discos, Broadway theatres, and Leather Bars of Manhattan to the gay paradise of Fire Island. Only the final (and longest) story seems a bit disconnected, and its supernatural bent is at odds with the previous chapters. But the New York of the 1970s and 80s has never seemed so alive. I can't wait to read the next volumes.

[Liam Ostermann · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am making an addendum to my review of barely four weeks ago (it is June 217, 2023) but in the meantime I have read John Rechy's 'City Of Night' and it clarified, for me, what Mordden's intentions with this and the other 'Buddies Cycle' stories. The first story in this collection is 'Interview With a Drag Queen' in which a young reporter on a gay publication, I would guess 'Christopher Street' in the early 1970's very unwillingly and with little interest interviews a drag queen who goes on to explain to the reporter (who we presume is Mordden) about the pre-Stonewall world. What matters is how much the drag queen is a messenger from a vanished world - she is like a White Russian Princess in exile in an attic in Paris relating stories of the vanished world of Tsarist Russia. For Mordden and many of the immediate post Stonewall liberated generation of gays the world Rechy described was abhorrent, something that needed to be overthrown, broken up, buried and forgotten as they forged a new world and a new life and a new way of living and thinking. For them the drag queen was a voice from a past they had no time for or interest in. I have changed nothing in my original review but this perspective will influence my reviews of the later volumes.

My original review:

I have just read all the 32 reviews of this book on Goodreads and was amazed at the almost universal and unadulterated praise that is showered upon it because I did not like most of the chapters/stories/tales in this novel*.

I come to this book via 'Some Men are Lookers' which inspired me to search out the previous volumes in the 'Buddies' cycle (I have yet to read the last instalment 'How's Your Romance') and while reading the other volumes I felt constrained to withhold judgement and reviews until I had read the opening volume and I am glad I did because one aspect I wanted to figure out was what years were the various novels set in? I had also hoped that, just as the later novels show Bud (the narrator of the series, a writer who presumably is based on Mordden**) and best friend and neighbour Denis Savage introducing younger gay friends to what it means to be gay, this novel would show how Mordden as 'Bud' was introduced to gay Manhattan. It doesn't but it does set the scene for the later novels and we are introduced to Bud, Denis Savage, Carlo and Little Kiwi (real name Virgil Brown). The date is sometime between 1983 and 85 (the first is the first publication a 'Buddies' story in 'Christopher Street') and from a combination of statement and internal evidence we learn that Carlo is 35, Bud and Denis Savage are slightly younger 32-33 (although his best friend and neighbour throughout the cycle Savage never manages to develop sufficiently as a character to stand alone as Denis, he is almost always Denis Savage or Savage) and Little Kiwi is 18-20***. Bud, Denis and Carlo all have a 'history' in gay Manhattan, which includes Fire Island (geography is irrelevant see Andy Warhol's seminal 'My Hustler), and although stories and characters from their collective pasts are mentioned or told this is as a continuity, they are not describing a world that has passed or vanished. These stories are meant to describe what is happening now and Bud's frequent pontificating about what being gay means is also meant to describe not a particular time or place but unchanging verities, standards and definitions of what being 'gay' is.

The gay world, as Bud describes it, is as absolute all encompassing, but incredibly narrow world - like St Simon describing the world in terms of the Versailles of Louis XIV. For Bud/Mordden the gay world he, and others found/created in the immediate post Stonewall years of specific clubs, clones, musclemen, Fire Island trips of 1970's Manhattan were not simply a template but the definitive form of gay life, not just in Manhattan, but everywhere, indeed it doesn't seem that gay life exists anywhere else but as it was lived in Manhattan post Stonewall.

There are no blacks in this world, Puerto Ricans exist but only as delivery boys who provide attractive muscle displays on a summer's day. Poor people are only acknowledged if they are hustlers and those who are 'trolls' (anyone who isn't gorgeous) might as well kill themselves, they are not welcome, unless they have money to spend on the beautiful. Although subtitled 'Tales of Gay New York' this is a very narrowly defined New York, it is hardly even inclusive of Manhattan's gay life. Greenwich Village doesn't get a mention and neither does the burgeoning downtown/lower east side worlds of art/music/fashion etc. which were redefining so much of New York life, gay and straight. Bud believes that his, and his friends world, is the sine qua non and absolute ideal of what being gay is. But his world in fact is a navel gazing cul de sac which was never more than a flash in the pan.

As this book was published over forty years ago I am restricting my complaints to those that I would have made if I had read this book closer to when it was published. You might doubt my ability to do this but my complaints of the smug insularity and unawareness of life, history and culture outside of a very small repertoire is one I felt when I visited 'Gay' Manhattan in the 1970's and 80's but even more when I read much of the journalism and other writing produced during that time. Coming from the UK and a culture where class was still defined and restricted what people could and could not do it was impossible not to see, under different guises, the same things amongst the gay community in New York. This does not mean I was not attracted to, or did not admire and copy and envy, so much of that scene as well. It was only in the 1980's that London's gay community gained anything approaching the nightlife and visibility of New York's and of course and it was the example of what happened in the USA that provided inspiration.

I would define the differences between UK and USA gay life at the time this book was published by this example it made perfect sense to UK gays to support the Miners strike that was attempting to thwart Margaret Thatcher. What she represented was oppressive to workers and gays. As gays we could not confine ourselves to only our own concerns. Our freedom and social justice for others were inextricably linked.

But none of that changes anything with regards to this book's poor quality. Only his delightful story of a deaf man's affair with a hustler he loves and loses kept me from giving this book one star. The final story 'The Disappearance of Roger Ryder' was so bizarre and badly thought out (I wonder if it was supposed to be a laboured pastiche of Agatha Christie's 'The Disappearance of Roger Ackroyd'?) that I believe it is one of the worst written things I have ever had the misfortune to read.

For me the only purpose for reading this book was to provide context for the other books in the 'Buddies' cycle. The only really good thing for me was the cover illustration on my 1987 Plume edition. I always find it very nostalgically amusing when I come across Plume books from the 1980's because although they are gay novels they always have incredibly overdressed young men. Clearly by not having nudity or overt sexuality**** they were attempting to stress that they are literature and should be taken seriously and are distinguishing themselves from the salaciously provocative covers of many gay novels. But now, forty years later, they have a very prim 1980's aesthetic that is now utterly retro particularly in the hairstyles and clothes.

*For me this is not a novel, it is a collection of stories, of which some have characters in common and others that are totally unrelated. This isn't surprising as some of the 'tales' were originally published as stand-alone works in 'Christopher Street' magazine, though which ones are not identified.
**In the stories Bud wears dark glasses and for many years photographs on Wikipedia invariably showed Mordden wearing dark glasses. It was not a good look.
***His actual behaviour varies between that of a cute 10 year old and a naive 14 year old, though one might wonder if he isn't mentally, differently-abled.
****Although the illustration on my Plume edition with one young man in a white singlet with his hand on the shoulder of another young man is a riot of naked sensuality compared to the Plume editions of the original Men on Men anthologies!

[Armand · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a series of interesting vignettes about gay life in 70's New York. Drag queens taming insouciant hustlers, straight boys beginning to bat for the other team, queer bullies, perfect Galateas, these are only some of the amusing characters you'd meet here. I do think that Little Kiwi seems too much of an ingenu to be believable (or bearable, really) but the others are mostly alright.

To be honest I was a bit apprehensive of this book at first because I'm not much of a fan of vicious b*tchiness, no matter how fabulous the wielder. Turned out that it prizes witticisms more than putdowns although unsurprisingly enough, the twain doth blur at times. Even the cattiest have a soft spot for genuine sweetness, going so far as to protect the latter from eventual heartache.

I also like the level of camp here: it's not so thin as to seem put on but it's not so overwhelming that it turns into a mockery of itself. Some of the passages made me straight out laugh. How could you not at snippets like this:

Dennis Savage, when he heard, was shocked silent for a good two minutes, an ideal condition for him. Our Mac—so he had become, for to befriend him was to own him—consorting with sex-show debris?

I had quite a lark learning a few of the period's vocab too. I may never think of trade as a mere exchange of goods again although come to think of it, that's exactly what these "merchandise" hint at.

My favorite here is the Christmas yarn set among Manhattan's uber rich which, strangely enough, is also the least flaming among the stories. It's as toasty and warm as the best yuletide specials, with not even the slightest cynicism rearing its unwelcome head.

The last and longest story is of a different mold from those that came before, veering close to paranormal horror. It deals with the ultimate queer fantasy: the protean power to change one's form into their ideal hot guy du jour. But of course, these gifts come with a price. And the bill, when it comes due, demand more than the poor dears are willing to pay.

7.5/10; 4 stars.

[Ruben G. R. · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was written in the early 80s and takes place in NYC. I found some of the stories interesting but not consistently. Some of the characters lacked depth and the writer’s social circle lacks diversity. The only reference to a person of color is “the Puerto Rican” who is not named and is mentioned as an afterthought.

[Guillermo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I took some time reading this book and after finishing it, I'm excited to continue reading the other books on the "Buddies" series.
This book is not really a novel, as it more a series of stories (some of them I would consider them as essays) on the gay life in New York in the 70s and 80s. Even though I was reading it 30 or 40 years after the setting of the stories, I still could relate to some of the experiences: living in the closet, finding your "tribe", family and friends, relationships and other topics that are universal; for which I admire the writer for building some intimate stories.
Some of the late stories were not as strong as the initial ones, but overall I think the book hold a great rhythm. I like the fact that the stories were separated from each other, as one can pick any story and read it no matter the order or the time it passes between each read (I would pick up the book and then disconnect from if for 4 or 5 days) and still feel invested in the story.
The only negative thing for me was the language, at times I felt it was a bit pretentious and over analyzed that it made me felt disconnected from the heart from the story, a more direct and simple language in some instances would have make the whole book feel warmer, but still one can deny the artistry of Ethan Mordden writing and I'm looking forward to read more from him and this series.

[Ken Saunders · Rating 2 out of 5]

"The parallel problem that confronts homosexuals is that they set out to win the love of a real man. If they succeed, they fail. A man who goes with other men is not what they would call a real man," Quentin Crisp writes in THE NAKED CIVIL SERVANT. That book is a lot more fun to read than this one, and says in just a page or two what this writer drearily dramatizes as from an assigned checklist: the hustler, the porn star, the straight neighbor, the man in uniform. I'd regard this as familiar territory skillfully revisited, except that the narrator is so intrusively weird that I kept expecting the portrait of a sociopath to be revealed. I felt sorry for his neighbors and for every character he forced his 'masked man' nonsense on. This book reminded me of the old disco song "Cruisin The Streets", because they both end with extended absurd fantasies.

[Mollydee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book a very long time ago but it was one of the top books I have ever read. Mordden has a great storytelling style and the subject matter was of course interesting. I am glad I found this book I would like to read it again.

[Virgowriter (Brad Windhauser) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely a product of its time, and by that I mean books that explored queer content in a way others did not were praised. But this is all surface level—no character depth or really interesting storylines.

[Ian B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the Preface, the author writes that ‘it occurs to me that all of gay life is stories – that all these stories are about love somehow or other…’ These are tales related by a fictionalized first person narrator named Bud Mordden, who wears dark shades as he watches and analyses what goes on around him. He draws morals and conclusions, and identifies the underlying laws at play. ‘You always want to make a case out of everything,’ as his friend Carlo remarks in The Case of the Dangerous Man. Mordden takes the stories of gay life (‘the dish’) and makes them into art. From a modern vantage point, it isn’t always possible to disentangle heightened reality from arcane detail which has become alien over time. The two characters who feature most are curiously christened: Dennis Savage’s name is always given in full, suggesting a famous figure in a closed community, known of but not necessarily known to all; and we are given no provenance for the strange name of his lover, Little Kiwi. Together with the figures who appear less frequently, they are almost mythical (sometimes we’re in the seventies, sometimes the eighties, but they never get any older) or archetypal (‘Everyone has a smartest friend, a handsomest friend, a most famous friend, and a best friend,’ Mordden informs us).

I found the collection somewhat reminiscent in tone of Andrew Holleran’s Dancer from the Dance, although not so lush. It’s certainly a treat to encounter a genuine prose stylist (argumentative lovers are described as ‘quarreling moustaches’ – what a phrase!) I have to say it’s probably unlikely to please anyone looking for an ‘easy’ read. The last and longest story, after the initial half page, is told in the third person and features no prior characters; it’s good but doesn’t quite fit with the rest. I could happily have given the book five stars, but am stopping at four because it’s the first of a quintet, and I assume the peak will come later in the sequence.

[Tisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a collection of stories that, I believe, are based on the author’s and friends’ memories and experiences of times spent on Fire Island. The culture of the gay community as it relates to this social mecca is described with personal, nostalgic, humorous, and insightful stories. Loyal Pines and Groves visitors will appreciate the true-to-life nature of the stories that read more like non-fiction than fiction, but I imagine that is a result of the author’s ability to describe genuine characters and events as he experienced them. I’ve never been to Fire Island, but I am friends with people who have, and one of them recommended this book to me. After reading it, I better understand the draw and longing for return visits.

[Bruce · Rating 3 out of 5]

Collection of short stories about gay life in the late 70s (I think) in New York and a lot of it taking place on Fire Island. Interesting to see how little has changed in that time with regards to gay culture and dating life. I don't know anything about Fire Island but didn't realize its gay history went back that far.

I wanted the stories to speak more to me than they really did. Instead it was very light and casual vignettes into the love lives of people around Bud. the last story is fantastical with the idea of being able to change his form and finding love in simplicity without the pretense of being everyone's desire.

[Sebastian · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting and enjoyable series of vignettes, though it also feels reliant on a lot of prior knowledge that I don't have. This may not be the book's problem, since it was written for a long lost decade, but there's so much that just makes no sense to me. I do like a lot of gay authors from this period so actually I kind of am inclined to think it's Mordden's writing - maybe it's just highly dated? Or it was written to reflect an extreme niche? Maybe even written ONLY to make sense to his own friends? Idk, I didn't hate it, but it was surreal to me in a way I imagine wasn't exactly intentional.

[Ronald Wilcox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall very good collection of stories, all told by the same narrator except the last one, that feel autobiographical, about life in Manhattan of a set of gay men. Unfortunately the final story is jumbled and really does not fit with all the others and drags the collection down by one star in my opinion.

[Matty · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book up until the last chapter. What a strange departure from the rest of the book, which had lovely charming characters. Did the author include the last story to remind us that the rest of the book, whose characters really came alive, were not real too?

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty, Brilliant and True

On the one hand these are tales of a tribe of men in a particular time and place - but on the other, these stories are timeless, and a lens through which many might see themselves.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

1987. This title is the first of a set, which i have read out of order. I liked the other two books "Buddies" and "Everybody Loves You" more. The story i'll reread in this book is "And Eric Said He'd Come" which maybe about Andrew, but i can only guess from where we are now.

[Aaron Ambrose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Merciless wit delivered by a mensch at heart. With his first batch of stories, you can see Mordden morphing his prose style to the demands and possibilities of fiction. And you see him getting better with each story. This is very frankly gay fiction, and few writers in this lane can equal Mordden.

[Alex Dimario · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about forty years old but the stories he tells in it are as relevant for any young gay man today as they would have been in the 1970s.

[Carmen Booz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written, easy to get into the character’s and understand their lives - challenges and joys.

[josé · Rating 4 out of 5]

both more experimental and embryonic than the second instalment. particularly enjoyed a christmas carol and the disappearance of roger ryder.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

The quality of the stories is very mixed. I found “The Mute Boy” very moving, for example, but the final story “the Disappearance of Roger Ryder” was incomprehensible. Mordden’s erudite writing sometimes borders on pretentious piffle, and then he produces some funny dialogue or a sly use of figurative language and all is forgiven. I read the second book in the series “Buddies” years ago but I will reread again to read the whole series.

[Adam Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

6/10

[Thomas Lowe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Ethan Mordden's "Buddy" stories. I read this volume--the first in the series-- a good 20 or more years ago. Upon finishing it, I immediately bought and read the other two books (at that time) in the series. Over the years I picked up his subsequent entries as they were published.

It had been a few years since I had read these stories, but I was about to hop a plane to visit friends for Thanksgiving, and I was looking for a book to throw in my bag to take along. I had been slogging my way through another book, and I didn't want to carry that cumbersome (in more ways than one) tome on the airplane, so I looked at my bookshelves and saw I'VE A FEELING. I decided it was high time I reread it. On the plane I only had the chance to read the first story and was surprised to find it didn't contain all of the familiar characters I had come to love over the course of the various books from Mordden's Buddy Cycle. I assume the narrator of the story was Bud, the writer in the subsequent stories, but none of the other characters made an appearance. It was a good story, but I was a little surprised. I suppose that at the time they were originally written and published, they weren't specifically planned as a story cycle.

When I got home from my trip, I was determined to finish the book I had been struggling to get through prior to my trip. Mercifully I did finish that (and it did have its moments, but was terribly uneven), and I could jump back to this one.

I fell in love with these characters and with Mordden's writing all over again. These stories are a delight. (I was trying to find a better word than that, but that's all I've got.)

Okay, so the trials and tribulations of Fire Island are beyond my experience, and I waver between delighting in hearing how that set lives (or lived) and asking, "What does this have to do with me?" Am I getting defensive if it feels like the insinuation is that I must not really be gay if that life isn't my goal or experience? But I let it go and just enjoyed the insights--and the love--Bud brings to his stories.

The final story is a bit of a letdown and feels like an odd story with which to close this collection. Our narrator Bud (or at least I assume it is he), starts the story and then disappears for the duration. None of the characters I've come to care about appear, and the asshole main character in this story deserves what he gets, in my opinion, and I didn't really care about his journey in the least. After that story, I almost wanted to deduct a star from my rating, but the other stories are so damn good that I couldn't penalize them for one story that didn't quite live up to expectations for me.

The only thing left for me to do now is to grab BUDDIES, the second book in the series, and to start reading.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I fell in love with the written words in this book, and then the characters, and finally the city. I'll never think of, or look at, NYC or it's inhabitants in quite the same way again.

The ideas expressed by the narrator, snuck up on me and at the time, seemed so profound...

'... we are in these fantasies as surely as we are in our biographies.'

'Little Kiwi was watching Peter and Jeff like Emily Dickinson viewing the dismembering of a butterfly.'

'Worst of all were those who could claim a true holiday but wouldn't join their families. To me, this was like practicing to be an orphan.'

'Christmas is the one time of the year when you look about and feel your blood.'

'if you can't have Christmas with your family, then you have an adventure.'

'You believe in the Christmas you were raised on...'

'My parents are too attached to their children to let the luck of the draw cause trouble among us.'

'The unique charm of the Imaginary Lover is that he can never lose his appeal as real humans do invariably, eventually, for he is a fantasy - plausible but a dream.'

'Speakers grow up learning to develop or hide their emotions; Mac had learned only to display his.'

'I wish I could choose between beauty and love; I wish life were so trim; I, too, like a pretty picture. But I think the meaning matters more.'


Sometimes it was simply the phrasing that caused me to pause, reread, and savor the combination of words, allowing for visualization to seep through;

'Christmas is not about love. Christmas is about being with people who are so used to you they take everything you do for granted.' (Dennis)

'Loyalty needs lying. Do you want me to be honest or loyal? it's one or the other.' (Peter)
'I'm loyal, clever, and cute. I'll never let you down. Never, I promise. Isn't that enough?' (Peter)
'Nothing is enough. That's what love is. The more you have the more you need.' (Jeff)
'I don't love you anymore.' (Peter)
'That's when you love me the most... When you feel it hurting.' (Jeff)

'The room was so quiet we could hear the appliances depreciating.'

There is something for everyone in this book. Read, savor, enjoy and remember.

[Frederick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Published in 1985, this book, which, on the flap of the original hardcover, is described as a novel, is a collection of stories originally published, as the copyright page tells us, in CHRISTOPHER STREET magazine. While the narrator is the same person in each story and some of the characters appear a few times, I have to say this is not a novel. It is not really themed either. The subtitle is "Tales From Gay Manhattan," but, inasmuch as Cherry Grove and the Pines are two hours east of Manhattan, several stories don't fit the category. But, I want to shout this from the rooftops of Gotham and of the houses on stilts: Ethan Mordden is funny, engaging and quite perceptive. I'VE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE is a wonderful book.
It contains a Christmas story which really does serve as a Christmas story. It is right to be called "A Christmas Carol."
There is a truly dark, but, I think, quite realistic story called "Interview With The Drag Queen," equaling any chapter of John Rechy's 1964 classic, CITY OF NIGHT.
Sometimes Mordden's humor is a little forced, and, while I wish the final story, a novella called "The Disappearance Of Roger Ryder" had been reworked, I nevertheless felt I'd read something of substance.
Ethan Mordden is, of course, the author of several masterful books on musical theater, film and drama. This collection is the first fiction of his I've read, but he has written quite a few novels and story collections, several of which are in his BUDDIES series. Next I'm reading HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON, a novel which covers gay American history spanning several decades.
I am impressed and delighted with Mordden's descriptive prose, and I recommend this collection to any one who admires E.M. Forster or Christopher Bram.