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The Other Man: John F. Kennedy Jr., Carolyn Bessette, and Me
Michael Bergin's account of the years he and Carolyn Bessette shared—revisiting the years dramatized in FX's Love John F. Kennedy Jr. & Carolyn Bessette
Would she be alive today? Would we be together? Would we have been happy?
Before she was Mrs. John F. Kennedy Jr. — before the wedding dress, the cameras, the mythology — Carolyn Bessette was a woman of remarkable presence. Independent, stylish, and far more complex than the tabloids ever allowed her to be.
She was also, for a time, deeply in love with someone other than America's most eligible bachelor.
Michael Bergin was a small-town kid from Connecticut who came to New York with nothing and became one of the most recognizable faces in the world. When he and Carolyn found each other in 1992, it was immediate and intense — a connection neither of them could fully let go of, even as their lives pulled them in different directions. Then John Kennedy walked in.
But this is not a story that ends with a wedding.
In The Other Man, Bergin breaks his silence on one of the most talked-about relationships of the 1990s, offering an intimate glimpse into the private Carolyn so few people were permitted to see — her warmth, her restlessness, her contradictions — and the passion the two of them shared long after the world had written its own version of her story.
Honest, tender, and at times devastating, The Other Man is a testament to the pull of a love that doesn't follow the script — and a portrait of a woman who deserved to be known on her own terms.
Would she be alive today? Would we be together? Would we have been happy?
Before she was Mrs. John F. Kennedy Jr. — before the wedding dress, the cameras, the mythology — Carolyn Bessette was a woman of remarkable presence. Independent, stylish, and far more complex than the tabloids ever allowed her to be.
She was also, for a time, deeply in love with someone other than America's most eligible bachelor.
Michael Bergin was a small-town kid from Connecticut who came to New York with nothing and became one of the most recognizable faces in the world. When he and Carolyn found each other in 1992, it was immediate and intense — a connection neither of them could fully let go of, even as their lives pulled them in different directions. Then John Kennedy walked in.
But this is not a story that ends with a wedding.
In The Other Man, Bergin breaks his silence on one of the most talked-about relationships of the 1990s, offering an intimate glimpse into the private Carolyn so few people were permitted to see — her warmth, her restlessness, her contradictions — and the passion the two of them shared long after the world had written its own version of her story.
Honest, tender, and at times devastating, The Other Man is a testament to the pull of a love that doesn't follow the script — and a portrait of a woman who deserved to be known on her own terms.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2004
About the author
Michael Bergin
3 books17 followersMichael John Bergin is considered to have been one of the first males to have achieved supermodel status, previously reserved for women such as Cindy Crawford, Elle Macpherson, Naomi Campbell, and Iman.
Bergin attended the University of Connecticut and is perhaps best known as Mark Wahlberg's successor in Calvin Klein's racy series of black and white underwear ads. His 6' 1" frame and washboard abs (widely cited as his professional signature) gained international exposure in print ads and, notably, on a 96' X 70' billboard in New York City's Times Square.
While contracted to Calvin Klein, Michael met the late Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, a Calvin Klein publicist, whom he dated seriously. After that relationship fell apart due to career pressures, she went on to marry John F. Kennedy, Jr., with whom she later perished in a fatal plane crash. In early 2004, Bergin published a book about his relationship with Bessette, The Other Man, claiming that they continued a sexual affair during the time Bessette was dating Kennedy and during their marriage. He was arrested for drunk driving in 2004, on the 5th anniversary of Bessette-Kennedy's death.
Bergin attended the University of Connecticut and is perhaps best known as Mark Wahlberg's successor in Calvin Klein's racy series of black and white underwear ads. His 6' 1" frame and washboard abs (widely cited as his professional signature) gained international exposure in print ads and, notably, on a 96' X 70' billboard in New York City's Times Square.
While contracted to Calvin Klein, Michael met the late Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, a Calvin Klein publicist, whom he dated seriously. After that relationship fell apart due to career pressures, she went on to marry John F. Kennedy, Jr., with whom she later perished in a fatal plane crash. In early 2004, Bergin published a book about his relationship with Bessette, The Other Man, claiming that they continued a sexual affair during the time Bessette was dating Kennedy and during their marriage. He was arrested for drunk driving in 2004, on the 5th anniversary of Bessette-Kennedy's death.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 102 reviews
July 10, 2019
The author should have put a disclaimer in the beginning of the book that stated he would be changing most names instead of every time he introduced a new character he would say......I'll call her.... or let's call him......
He wrote this book because "For years I had said nothing. Not a single word. Then in an attempt to protect Carolyn I made the mistake of talking to one writer, for 20 minutes, and in the eyes of the entire world was suddenly a louse and a bastard."Really Michael? You thought you could trust a journalist with a story about Carolyn Kennedy? So he wrote the book set the record straight. Really? By telling a story about someone who has died so she can't even defend herself? By claiming you carried on an affair while she was married? That she wanted to leave her husband and run away with you? By talking about her two abortions and one miscarriage? On one page they had the most amazing relationship...on the next he falls into bed with some random woman and they don't leave his house for 7 days. On one page Carolyn is strong and independent on the next page she is clingy and depressed. Carolyn never introduced him to her friends or coworkers, yet they were made for one another. The story didn't make a lot of sense. Great publicity boost for him.
He wrote this book because "For years I had said nothing. Not a single word. Then in an attempt to protect Carolyn I made the mistake of talking to one writer, for 20 minutes, and in the eyes of the entire world was suddenly a louse and a bastard."Really Michael? You thought you could trust a journalist with a story about Carolyn Kennedy? So he wrote the book set the record straight. Really? By telling a story about someone who has died so she can't even defend herself? By claiming you carried on an affair while she was married? That she wanted to leave her husband and run away with you? By talking about her two abortions and one miscarriage? On one page they had the most amazing relationship...on the next he falls into bed with some random woman and they don't leave his house for 7 days. On one page Carolyn is strong and independent on the next page she is clingy and depressed. Carolyn never introduced him to her friends or coworkers, yet they were made for one another. The story didn't make a lot of sense. Great publicity boost for him.
March 16, 2013
Poor self-centered, shallow, insecure, and un-entertaining Michael Bergin, he so can't stand it that the whole world sees him as a brainless beauty and blames him for being the Other Man in the celebrated JFK Jr/Carolyn Bessette marriage. But this book only served to prove all that.
August 6, 2012
My expectations for "The Other Man: John F. Kennedy Jr, Carolyn Bessette, and Me" were fairly low. I expected a tell-all book written by an egotistical man eager to cash in on the Kennedy name, and I was sure I would browse through it quickly and then put it aside.
However, I actually was captivated by Mr. Bergin's story. I found him to be quite likeable and very believable, and his story was far more interesting than books of this kind tend to be. Although he's a very successful male model, it was not ego-driven at all and he admitted to his own insecurities and mistakes throughout. He included just enough about his own upbringing and life story, which is difficult to do in this type of book.
This is not earth-shaking material, but I enjoyed his telling of the many unique experiences he had from his own perspective, and it certainly felt as though the writing of this book was a cathartic experience for him. I liked his conversational writing style and felt that this fairly fast read was well worth the time.
However, I actually was captivated by Mr. Bergin's story. I found him to be quite likeable and very believable, and his story was far more interesting than books of this kind tend to be. Although he's a very successful male model, it was not ego-driven at all and he admitted to his own insecurities and mistakes throughout. He included just enough about his own upbringing and life story, which is difficult to do in this type of book.
This is not earth-shaking material, but I enjoyed his telling of the many unique experiences he had from his own perspective, and it certainly felt as though the writing of this book was a cathartic experience for him. I liked his conversational writing style and felt that this fairly fast read was well worth the time.
November 14, 2015
Quickly read book but thru-out found author's words disconcerting. Whether true in fact - publishing this book is disrespectful. The worst comes in the end as Michael Bergin states he is not capitalizing on events but trying to 'clear' Carolyn Bissett Kennedy's name. With friends like that, who needs enemies.
July 23, 2009
We all know where we were when the news hit that JFK's plane had gone down. I was coming into the kitchen and Dan had handed me a cup of coffee and I settled in on the couch and turned on the TV. There was an aerial view of the Atlantic off Martha's Vieyard and then a computer-generated map with a red marker saying at which point they believed John F. Kennedy Jr's plane had gone down. "Oh no" I kept saying "Oh no". I honestly felt like he was going to be sitting on some wreckage waiting to be spotted by rescuers, waving madly. When I learned of the rescuers finding his wife still buckled into her seat I was finally convinced. The Prince had died.
What I found bitterly ironic about this review is that I entered *just* the title of this book on the goodreads search engine and...nothing came up. If goodreads thinks such trash lit (that reveals the seamier side of America's Royalty) is too uncultured for their heady set of literati, then dammit they are right!
I wolfed this book down in a day. Start to finish, one day. Part compelling nature to learn more about the mysterious Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, part embarassment of having this book in my possession under my roof. Ever since that paparazzi photo of John John helping CB into her pants on a yacht I have been somewhat intrigued by this mystery blonde. She had impeccable taste in clothing; dressed in the chunky heels and fitted waistcoats that were de riguer of mid-90s fashion. Who will ever forget the Narciso Rodriguez dress with the lily of the valleys bouquet? Always seamless and without flaw. You were lying if you said you did not want to be her.
What did I learn? That despite arguments to the contrary, Michael Bergin did not have an affair with Valentino. Oh and that he shtoinked a married Carolyn Bessette Kennedy numerous times. I lost track of the abortions she'd had-two? or three. Two, but one miscarriage, that she claims was JFK Jr's baby. (Chivalry, thy name is not Michael Bergin. It was an interesting portrayal, one that rode a high wire between callous oversharing and hurting remembrance.)
No matter. Carolyn Bessette Kennedy was an empirically beautiful woman. That "Bergdorf blonde" that every husky dark-haired man in NYC seemed to find irresistible. She was also an insecure, manipulative and conniving woman who seemed to use men and dispose of them at will. The end result is that one of these men turned the knife on her and wrote a scathing reviling review of her short life. She of course used drugs..."but modestly". She of course slept around on Bergin "but he was the most handsome male model that I had ever seen, and I'm not even gay".
She seemed to have put many men under her 'spell' and this book was at the end a sad tale of lust, greed and narcissistic living at the end of Camelot. Embrassed to say I read it.
What I found bitterly ironic about this review is that I entered *just* the title of this book on the goodreads search engine and...nothing came up. If goodreads thinks such trash lit (that reveals the seamier side of America's Royalty) is too uncultured for their heady set of literati, then dammit they are right!
I wolfed this book down in a day. Start to finish, one day. Part compelling nature to learn more about the mysterious Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, part embarassment of having this book in my possession under my roof. Ever since that paparazzi photo of John John helping CB into her pants on a yacht I have been somewhat intrigued by this mystery blonde. She had impeccable taste in clothing; dressed in the chunky heels and fitted waistcoats that were de riguer of mid-90s fashion. Who will ever forget the Narciso Rodriguez dress with the lily of the valleys bouquet? Always seamless and without flaw. You were lying if you said you did not want to be her.
What did I learn? That despite arguments to the contrary, Michael Bergin did not have an affair with Valentino. Oh and that he shtoinked a married Carolyn Bessette Kennedy numerous times. I lost track of the abortions she'd had-two? or three. Two, but one miscarriage, that she claims was JFK Jr's baby. (Chivalry, thy name is not Michael Bergin. It was an interesting portrayal, one that rode a high wire between callous oversharing and hurting remembrance.)
No matter. Carolyn Bessette Kennedy was an empirically beautiful woman. That "Bergdorf blonde" that every husky dark-haired man in NYC seemed to find irresistible. She was also an insecure, manipulative and conniving woman who seemed to use men and dispose of them at will. The end result is that one of these men turned the knife on her and wrote a scathing reviling review of her short life. She of course used drugs..."but modestly". She of course slept around on Bergin "but he was the most handsome male model that I had ever seen, and I'm not even gay".
She seemed to have put many men under her 'spell' and this book was at the end a sad tale of lust, greed and narcissistic living at the end of Camelot. Embrassed to say I read it.
October 11, 2009
A quick and easy read which paints a very different (and not so flattering) point of view of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and her life before her marriage to John F. Kennedy Jnr. I was left wondering who had more issues in their life, the author or Carolyn.
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October 14, 2009I had to read this book because I went to college with Bergin and although he didn't know me, ALL the girls in The Jungle at UCONN sure the hell knew him!! Dinner in the cafeteria and Mike in those red sweatpants. LORD! I clearly remember it and that was almost 20 years ago.
September 15, 2008
Not particularly well-written or interesting, but I finished it nonetheless. I guess I couldn't believe that someone would stay with a woman who was so emotionally disconnected and controlling.
November 1, 2011
Awful. In every way.
November 26, 2011
A memoir, not at all well written. Not interesting. Probably drug fueled fantasy, with some minor reality woven in. Should have kept quiet.
October 15, 2023
I bought this book used thinking okay who is this guy. I thought I always followed John Jr and knew almost all there is to know. I remember when they started saying he was dating somebody new. I had no idea about the rumors going on about this guy. To tell you the truth I thought the only struggle going on was her trying to get used to the paparazzi.
I don’t want to give any spoilers. So if you are thinking of buying this book, jist buy it. I love John Kennedy Jr and I always felt protective of him because of all that happened to him as a child. I would never read anything that I thought was bashing him or ruining his legacy. This book is nothing bad against John Kennedy. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to believe this guy. But once I read it (after my daughter told me she read it) I gave it a go and once I started I couldn’t stop. I started reading thinking what’s this bozo have to say. But after getting half way through the book, I realized I believe him and he’s far from a bozo. Give it a try for yourself, I think you will agree with me. Me and my daughter couldn’t stop discussing the book after we read it thinking of all the what ifs and whys. It still comes to my mind on occasion.
I don’t want to give any spoilers. So if you are thinking of buying this book, jist buy it. I love John Kennedy Jr and I always felt protective of him because of all that happened to him as a child. I would never read anything that I thought was bashing him or ruining his legacy. This book is nothing bad against John Kennedy. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to believe this guy. But once I read it (after my daughter told me she read it) I gave it a go and once I started I couldn’t stop. I started reading thinking what’s this bozo have to say. But after getting half way through the book, I realized I believe him and he’s far from a bozo. Give it a try for yourself, I think you will agree with me. Me and my daughter couldn’t stop discussing the book after we read it thinking of all the what ifs and whys. It still comes to my mind on occasion.
October 15, 2007
very fast read... skimmed through the chapter about his childhood... simple writing... nothing literary about this... read in a few hours on a rainy afternoon... tabloid book about his life with Carolyn... and intimate details about their life together.
But I did end up feeling sorry for him, and I can see why he wrote it... as therapy.
But I did end up feeling sorry for him, and I can see why he wrote it... as therapy.
July 20, 2011
Interesting story of a controlling,very insecure and ambitious girl and a very accomodating guy.
May 12, 2016
This was a fast, easy read. Michael Bergin is no writer, but he never claimed to be.
The book was interesting, but it does leave a bad opinion.... Or rather a sad opinion of the character of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy.
It doesn't show that Michael Bergin has much of a quality character either. They both knew it was wrong to commit adultery, but they did anyway. I don't buy Caroline's excuse for a minute that JFK Jr. was having an affair. I truly think she was a very troubled young woman who was not at all stable enough to be in a marriage that would be scrutinized by millions.
Her death, and the death of JFK Jr. And her sister, Lauren was tragic. Bad decisions were made all around and three lives were cut short which left many broken hearts and unanswered questions.
Bergin and Bessette were never meant to
be. I do think their love was real, but Carolyn treated Michael like a Pet Rock, one she threw away and ignored and then would pick back up when it suited her.
Bergin got a story out of it. He made money off of it. Not really sure if that was a classy thing to do, but it was his story to tell, and I think he told the truth.
There was no Happily Ever After for Carolyn, but Bergin seems to have done pretty well for himself.
I just believe that Carolyn would never have been happy with anyone, because she was not happy in her own skin.
A real shame she didn't live long enough to find herself.
The book was interesting, but it does leave a bad opinion.... Or rather a sad opinion of the character of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy.
It doesn't show that Michael Bergin has much of a quality character either. They both knew it was wrong to commit adultery, but they did anyway. I don't buy Caroline's excuse for a minute that JFK Jr. was having an affair. I truly think she was a very troubled young woman who was not at all stable enough to be in a marriage that would be scrutinized by millions.
Her death, and the death of JFK Jr. And her sister, Lauren was tragic. Bad decisions were made all around and three lives were cut short which left many broken hearts and unanswered questions.
Bergin and Bessette were never meant to
be. I do think their love was real, but Carolyn treated Michael like a Pet Rock, one she threw away and ignored and then would pick back up when it suited her.
Bergin got a story out of it. He made money off of it. Not really sure if that was a classy thing to do, but it was his story to tell, and I think he told the truth.
There was no Happily Ever After for Carolyn, but Bergin seems to have done pretty well for himself.
I just believe that Carolyn would never have been happy with anyone, because she was not happy in her own skin.
A real shame she didn't live long enough to find herself.
March 23, 2010
Found this book in delivery @ the library & thought I'd give it a try. Thought the guy on the cover was kinda cute & liked the intrigue behind Carolyn having another lover besides that georgeous JFK Jr. then I became pleasantly surprised by the fact he wrote well, told the story like it was (in his words of course) & how he came to his true loves defence.
March 11, 2026
The ‘90s in NYC: You had to be there lol
Actually I do think I want to say a bit more. Right now due to the Hulu series “Love Story,” there is a literal frenzy of interest in Carolyn B & JFK, Jr. It was always obvious, and there were rumors at the time, that these two extremely beautiful humans did not have the most pacific of marriages, and that things were quite rocky. Back then, they truly were hounded by papparazzi and there were a couple of instances where paps caught some disturbing images of interactions between the two. Of course, I’m referring to the infamous park brawl and recently, I saw that footage again. Interestingly, it looked even worse to me today than it looked contemporaneous to the event — funny how the ‘eyes’ can see things quite differently decades later. And I do recall when Bergin published this book, I believed I heard the sound of cash registers in the background. While I still think my audio perceptions were correct about Bergin’s motivation for writing the book, reading it today for the first time also allowed me to consider his recollections more fairly due to revelations that have also come out over the decades (see Maureen Callahan’s book on the Kennedys) regarding this couple. Just as an example: Bergin recounts an incident where a wildly jealous CB attacked him physically and destroyed his apartment — then chased him down the City streets when he ran out to escape her lol. Initially, I had reservations (!) about this story. However, more recently, I heard of the incident where CB & JFK Jr. had a run-in with paps at an airport on the occasion of attending Michael Kennedy’s funeral, and Carolyn literally hocked a loogie into the eye of one of the photographers. This is a well documented, verified by witnesses, never denied at the time, true event. Frankly, anyone who is capable of doing something as disgusting and violent as that, is capable of trashing a boyfriend’s apartment, and probably smacking the shit outta him (which is what she did.) There was something else I picked up on recently: Rachel Uchitel has a you tube channel (who doesn’t? Lol) and recently she disclosed that she had briefly dated Bergin right around the time between his break up with CB (Rachel got around y’all!) and before he got his Baywatch gig. She independently recounted how it was very obvious to her that Bergin was still in love with Carolyn (her words).
So while the Kennedy Myth Machine has very successfully over the decades cranked out it’s rosy image of this marriage, just as we’ve come to learn with all things Kennedy & Kennedy adjacent, things maybe were not quite as idyllic as the Machine wants us to believe. These were both very flawed humans, as many of us are, and whether or not that marriage would have survived if they had survived the infamous plane crash ….???
I am left feeling deeply sorry for the Bessette family, who lost two daughters in this tragedy. Carolyn’s mother never wanted her to marry Junior, and to add insult to injury, the Kennedy’s were brutal to Ann surrounding the disposition of Carolyn’s remains.
One of the moral’s of this story is: Sometimes your mamma’s right.
Actually I do think I want to say a bit more. Right now due to the Hulu series “Love Story,” there is a literal frenzy of interest in Carolyn B & JFK, Jr. It was always obvious, and there were rumors at the time, that these two extremely beautiful humans did not have the most pacific of marriages, and that things were quite rocky. Back then, they truly were hounded by papparazzi and there were a couple of instances where paps caught some disturbing images of interactions between the two. Of course, I’m referring to the infamous park brawl and recently, I saw that footage again. Interestingly, it looked even worse to me today than it looked contemporaneous to the event — funny how the ‘eyes’ can see things quite differently decades later. And I do recall when Bergin published this book, I believed I heard the sound of cash registers in the background. While I still think my audio perceptions were correct about Bergin’s motivation for writing the book, reading it today for the first time also allowed me to consider his recollections more fairly due to revelations that have also come out over the decades (see Maureen Callahan’s book on the Kennedys) regarding this couple. Just as an example: Bergin recounts an incident where a wildly jealous CB attacked him physically and destroyed his apartment — then chased him down the City streets when he ran out to escape her lol. Initially, I had reservations (!) about this story. However, more recently, I heard of the incident where CB & JFK Jr. had a run-in with paps at an airport on the occasion of attending Michael Kennedy’s funeral, and Carolyn literally hocked a loogie into the eye of one of the photographers. This is a well documented, verified by witnesses, never denied at the time, true event. Frankly, anyone who is capable of doing something as disgusting and violent as that, is capable of trashing a boyfriend’s apartment, and probably smacking the shit outta him (which is what she did.) There was something else I picked up on recently: Rachel Uchitel has a you tube channel (who doesn’t? Lol) and recently she disclosed that she had briefly dated Bergin right around the time between his break up with CB (Rachel got around y’all!) and before he got his Baywatch gig. She independently recounted how it was very obvious to her that Bergin was still in love with Carolyn (her words).
So while the Kennedy Myth Machine has very successfully over the decades cranked out it’s rosy image of this marriage, just as we’ve come to learn with all things Kennedy & Kennedy adjacent, things maybe were not quite as idyllic as the Machine wants us to believe. These were both very flawed humans, as many of us are, and whether or not that marriage would have survived if they had survived the infamous plane crash ….???
I am left feeling deeply sorry for the Bessette family, who lost two daughters in this tragedy. Carolyn’s mother never wanted her to marry Junior, and to add insult to injury, the Kennedy’s were brutal to Ann surrounding the disposition of Carolyn’s remains.
One of the moral’s of this story is: Sometimes your mamma’s right.
May 20, 2026
If you caught Love Story on Hulu, the Ryan Murphy series about John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, you may believe that their romance and marriage seemed complicated but was ultimately tragic and legendary. In this book, The Other Man by Michael Bergin, you'll see another side of Carolyn and be introduced to her former lover, a male model famous for being a Calvin Klein underwear model and an actor on Baywatch.
I remember seeing this book in the late 1990s and scoffing at it because I believed in the myth that JFK, Jr., and Carolyn were star-crossed lovers. Years later, after becoming an avid fan of The Nerve podcast, a troublemaker if you will, I heard another side to the story. The host, Maureen Callahan, heavily pointed to this book as evidence that not all was as it seems between the couple. After reading Ask Not, by said author, and listening to her opinion about their relationship, I scrambled to find this no longer in print book at my local library.
Michael Bergin, the author, sounds like an "aw shucks" type of guy who came from a small town in Connecticut, seeking his fortune in New York. He discusses his background, how he became a model, and how he met Carolyn. Some of the talk about his childhood reads like most childhoods of the time period. I am not sure how necessary it was for the author to go into that type of detail.
When he meets Carolyn, he's gob-smacked by her beauty, her intelligence, and her charm. They fall in love yet Carolyn will not classify their relationship. It's frustrating to see Michael fall for her and keep hoping for that "white picket" fantasy. She's like your stereotypical guy who refuses to acknowledge the relationship and hides their love interest in the shadows. Michael plays the stereotypical girl who feels so in love that he will do anything for her. He's simply too nice, and Carolyn sounds too cunning. It seemed like she used him as her plaything. There is evidence that she really loved him but couldn't commit because her ambitions and maybe past traumas prevented her from doing so.
While I liked the book well enough, this is not intellectually stimulating reading. It's simply written, and I probably wouldn't have read it if not for the encouragement of The Nerve's host. It's entertaining, and you really can't blame the author. You feel sorry for him and hope that he can shake Carolyn out of his system. Most people know others who fall into this type of romance where one partner just isn't willing to commit. You may have been that person on either side. So it's very relatable.
One annoyance was that the author will announce how he's hiding the identity of the person he's discussing. Before I started the book, I saw a review that mentioned that. It's highly noticeable and unnecessary. A disclaimer in the beginning would have sufficed.
Anyway, if you watched Love Story, which I have not, or you've ever expressed interest in the ill-fated relationship of John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, you may wish to read this quick memoir. It's apparently going to be reprinted soon because of the renewed interest in this couple and all those associated with them. Was it The Nerve's influence or Love Story's? Only time will tell.
I remember seeing this book in the late 1990s and scoffing at it because I believed in the myth that JFK, Jr., and Carolyn were star-crossed lovers. Years later, after becoming an avid fan of The Nerve podcast, a troublemaker if you will, I heard another side to the story. The host, Maureen Callahan, heavily pointed to this book as evidence that not all was as it seems between the couple. After reading Ask Not, by said author, and listening to her opinion about their relationship, I scrambled to find this no longer in print book at my local library.
Michael Bergin, the author, sounds like an "aw shucks" type of guy who came from a small town in Connecticut, seeking his fortune in New York. He discusses his background, how he became a model, and how he met Carolyn. Some of the talk about his childhood reads like most childhoods of the time period. I am not sure how necessary it was for the author to go into that type of detail.
When he meets Carolyn, he's gob-smacked by her beauty, her intelligence, and her charm. They fall in love yet Carolyn will not classify their relationship. It's frustrating to see Michael fall for her and keep hoping for that "white picket" fantasy. She's like your stereotypical guy who refuses to acknowledge the relationship and hides their love interest in the shadows. Michael plays the stereotypical girl who feels so in love that he will do anything for her. He's simply too nice, and Carolyn sounds too cunning. It seemed like she used him as her plaything. There is evidence that she really loved him but couldn't commit because her ambitions and maybe past traumas prevented her from doing so.
While I liked the book well enough, this is not intellectually stimulating reading. It's simply written, and I probably wouldn't have read it if not for the encouragement of The Nerve's host. It's entertaining, and you really can't blame the author. You feel sorry for him and hope that he can shake Carolyn out of his system. Most people know others who fall into this type of romance where one partner just isn't willing to commit. You may have been that person on either side. So it's very relatable.
One annoyance was that the author will announce how he's hiding the identity of the person he's discussing. Before I started the book, I saw a review that mentioned that. It's highly noticeable and unnecessary. A disclaimer in the beginning would have sufficed.
Anyway, if you watched Love Story, which I have not, or you've ever expressed interest in the ill-fated relationship of John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, you may wish to read this quick memoir. It's apparently going to be reprinted soon because of the renewed interest in this couple and all those associated with them. Was it The Nerve's influence or Love Story's? Only time will tell.
April 13, 2022
Many will have read in other memories of close friends of Carolyn B. that she always said she was glad she waited for John.
From my research and after reading Michael’s account I concluded that CB had already some kind of an idea that she wanted to be with JFK jr very early on, so whoever ended up having an affair with her in between was going to suffer the consequences. Michael happen to be that man, 3 years younger, not fully cooked at 23 years old and got really the confusing side, the tormenting side of a relationship while she was just spending time waiting on John to be ready. I like CB, I could not help but like her a bit less knowing she knew all along she had other plans in mind …and an actual thing with Michael was not in her future
I loved Michael’s account and I’m glad he wrote if for posterity, no one really knew anything about this woman and now we find that she was this exciting, conflicted and fascinating woman that had all these plans but didn’t considered love coming in between…
Utterly fascinating story beside Michael is also responsible for inspiring several stories on Sex and the city having been the “the Bone” while Tad is clearly Stanford.
If you are a bohemian, you will love this story.
From my research and after reading Michael’s account I concluded that CB had already some kind of an idea that she wanted to be with JFK jr very early on, so whoever ended up having an affair with her in between was going to suffer the consequences. Michael happen to be that man, 3 years younger, not fully cooked at 23 years old and got really the confusing side, the tormenting side of a relationship while she was just spending time waiting on John to be ready. I like CB, I could not help but like her a bit less knowing she knew all along she had other plans in mind …and an actual thing with Michael was not in her future
I loved Michael’s account and I’m glad he wrote if for posterity, no one really knew anything about this woman and now we find that she was this exciting, conflicted and fascinating woman that had all these plans but didn’t considered love coming in between…
Utterly fascinating story beside Michael is also responsible for inspiring several stories on Sex and the city having been the “the Bone” while Tad is clearly Stanford.
If you are a bohemian, you will love this story.
January 30, 2013
I really enjoyed this biography and felt as though the author was honest, regardless of how he appeared- good or bad, with his account of events. There was a genuine feel to his portrayal. It read like fiction, almost, and it was easy to become engrossed in the story. I am particularily fascinated by Carolyn Bessette, always have been. Classically beautiful, reserved in the public eye and she nabbed JFK Jr! She seemed so complex, endearing, confused, independent. Lets face it, she was an enigma.
September 4, 2020
Strictly for Kennedy-philes. I was interested in the story behind how a person breaks into male modeling, at least back in the 1990's. I knew little to nothing about Carolyn Bessette, and she comes off here as a caring, if troubled, person. You have to wonder if some therapy wouldn't have helped her in her life. Good photos as well.
November 5, 2007
I LOVED this book. I could not put it down. I don't know if it's true or not, but I wanted it to be true. It was SO intimate that even though he was "the other man"- I wanted to root for him to get the girl (even though we all know what happened).
April 22, 2012
Okay, let's be clear - this is not highbrow literature by any means, but I found it fascinating!! If you're at all interested in Carolyn Bessette and JFK Jr., this is an interesting, quick, beach read kind of book.
January 23, 2025
I read this because I've always considered CBK a style icon and wanted to know more about her, but since she was so private, there's not a lot of information out there. After reading this, I realized she wasn't the best person, but I guess she was only human. I don't think Michael Bergin meant to paint a bad picture of her, he just told his truth. I found it weird that at the end he wrote she would be happy with the book and the way she was portrayed because I don't think anyone would be after being exposed like that. This story is obviously one sided and he wrote from his experience and thoughts and disclaimed that he didn't know what she was thinking all the time and was just guessing and assuming. I can't be sure what she was really like based on this book but we'll never know her story for her point of view. The writing was fine and the story was interesting but I found quite a few grammatical errors throughout; maybe it was just my copy.
February 23, 2018
I've read a few of the JFK jr and Carolyn books. This one was a different view (but of course) and put Carolyn and John's relationship in a different light. My favorite is still Fairy Tale Interrupted.
I don't think Carolyn was a drug user. She dabbled in social settings from time to time. The rumor was she did drugs. I still don't believe it not from this book either.
I feel bad for Michael he truly loved her and she couldn't commit to him. It totally messed him up she was the love of his life. I'm glad he found happiness with Joy. Joy must of had a tough time breaking Michaels barriers.
I can't help but feel he was from a middle class family and Carolyn wasn't and that bothered her. JFK was the status Carolyn wanted. I'm not saying she didn't love him but she would of been with Michael had they grown up in the same status.
Still a tragic story
I don't think Carolyn was a drug user. She dabbled in social settings from time to time. The rumor was she did drugs. I still don't believe it not from this book either.
I feel bad for Michael he truly loved her and she couldn't commit to him. It totally messed him up she was the love of his life. I'm glad he found happiness with Joy. Joy must of had a tough time breaking Michaels barriers.
I can't help but feel he was from a middle class family and Carolyn wasn't and that bothered her. JFK was the status Carolyn wanted. I'm not saying she didn't love him but she would of been with Michael had they grown up in the same status.
Still a tragic story
April 22, 2017
After reading Carole Radziwill's memoir and then this book it shows just how two people can see one person so differently. When first starting this book I was a little angry at Michael for writing such personal events that happened between him and Carolyn and saw from his point of view just how crazy Carolyn had seemed; It seems a little harsh that she's not here to defend herself. All in all I enjoyed reading about Michaels life, working in the modeling industry and how hard it really is. I liked hearing about him getting into baywatch and I do remember his character from the show.
November 30, 2019
The Other Man by Michael Bergin is a first-person story of his relationship with Carolyn Bessette, who went on to marry John F. Kennedy Jr. Michael Bergin was a supermodel and actor in the 1990s, and much of the book is a recap of his early life, though the focus is on his early relationship with Carolyn and subsequent affair. I didn't really have an interest in this particular piece of history before reading the book, but a friend lent it to me, so I did my due diligence and read it. This was by no means a literary masterpiece, but it was a quick, interesting read.
February 6, 2019
I randomly saw this book at the library and picked it up. I had no idea who Carolyn or Michael were, but after reading this story, I realized love makes us do crazy things. Michael and Caroyln truly loved each other and their relationship was extremely codependent and maybe toxic, but you also couldn't deny the love they had for each other. It's truly sad how their relationship didn't work out.
August 24, 2013
Non-fiction. Loved it, but so sad. Michael dated Carolyn Bessette before she married JFK Jr. He even had an affair with her while she was married. JFK and Carolyn later die in a plane crash. Michael is an international super model. He modeled underwear for Calvin Klein.
July 31, 2024
This book was very eye opening. I never followed the life of John and Carolyn but wish now that I had. This definitely made for a beautiful love story.
July 16, 2026
3/5 Stars 🌟
👥 Who It's For
- Readers interested in celebrity relationships and behind-the-scenes Hollywood stories
- Fans of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, Michael Bergin, or the Kennedy family
- Readers fascinated by complicated love triangles and emotionally messy relationships
- Those who enjoy quick, conversational memoirs
🚫 Who It's Not For
- Readers looking for a deeply introspective memoir
- Those wanting a balanced biography of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy
- Readers expecting literary nonfiction
- Anyone looking for emotional maturity or profound life lessons
- Readers who dislike relationship drama
🧭 Quick Spoiler-Free Plot Review
Before Carolyn Bessette became Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, she shared a passionate and complicated relationship with model Michael Bergin.
In this memoir, Bergin reflects on their years together, the emotional highs and lows of their romance, and what it was like loving someone whose life would eventually become forever linked to one of America's most famous families.
It is a story about love, timing, obsession, and the complicated realities of relationships that refuse to stay in the past.
⭐ Why Did I Give It 3 Stars?
This book was... unintentionally hilarious.
I don't think it was written to be funny, but I found myself laughing more often than I expected because of how emotionally immature everyone seemed.
Michael, Carolyn, and nearly every major player in the story repeatedly make frustrating, impulsive, and emotionally stunted decisions that had me constantly thinking, "Just communicate!"
Instead of finding myself swept away by this great love story, I often found myself shaking my head at the endless cycle of misunderstandings, poor choices, and emotional dysfunction.
Carolyn, in particular, came across as incredibly difficult to connect with. I found her personality more exhausting than endearing, and by the end of the book she felt almost insufferable rather than mysterious or romantic.
That said...I never wanted to stop reading.
The memoir moves quickly, the chapters are short, and there is always enough relationship drama to keep the pages turning. Even when I was rolling my eyes at the characters, I was still entertained. Sometimes entertainment is enough.
✅ What the Book Gets Right
💔 Very easy to read
📖 Fast-paced and conversational
💔 Gives readers an unusual perspective on a famous public figure
📖 Keeps the story moving with little filler
💔 Feels honest about the messiness of relationships
📖 Makes for an entertaining afternoon read
❌ What the Book Gets Wrong
💭 The emotional depth never quite matches the dramatic subject matter.
💭 The relationships often feel repetitive rather than evolving.
💭 The characters rarely demonstrate meaningful emotional growth.
💭 Carolyn is difficult to sympathize with for much of the book.
💭 What is presented as a sweeping romance often comes across as emotionally unhealthy and frustrating instead.
🖤 Final Thoughts
The Other Man is one of those books that I enjoyed more for its entertainment value than for its emotional depth. I didn't come away believing I had witnessed one of history's great love stories.
Instead, I finished feeling like I had watched three emotionally underdeveloped people repeatedly make poor decisions while convincing themselves they were following their hearts.
Oddly enough, that made for a surprisingly enjoyable reading experience. It is messy. It is frustrating. It is occasionally unintentionally funny. And it is undeniably entertaining. Not a memoir that profoundly changed my perspective, but certainly one that kept me turning the pages. A solid three-star read.
👥 Who It's For
- Readers interested in celebrity relationships and behind-the-scenes Hollywood stories
- Fans of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, Michael Bergin, or the Kennedy family
- Readers fascinated by complicated love triangles and emotionally messy relationships
- Those who enjoy quick, conversational memoirs
🚫 Who It's Not For
- Readers looking for a deeply introspective memoir
- Those wanting a balanced biography of Carolyn Bessette Kennedy
- Readers expecting literary nonfiction
- Anyone looking for emotional maturity or profound life lessons
- Readers who dislike relationship drama
🧭 Quick Spoiler-Free Plot Review
Before Carolyn Bessette became Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, she shared a passionate and complicated relationship with model Michael Bergin.
In this memoir, Bergin reflects on their years together, the emotional highs and lows of their romance, and what it was like loving someone whose life would eventually become forever linked to one of America's most famous families.
It is a story about love, timing, obsession, and the complicated realities of relationships that refuse to stay in the past.
⭐ Why Did I Give It 3 Stars?
This book was... unintentionally hilarious.
I don't think it was written to be funny, but I found myself laughing more often than I expected because of how emotionally immature everyone seemed.
Michael, Carolyn, and nearly every major player in the story repeatedly make frustrating, impulsive, and emotionally stunted decisions that had me constantly thinking, "Just communicate!"
Instead of finding myself swept away by this great love story, I often found myself shaking my head at the endless cycle of misunderstandings, poor choices, and emotional dysfunction.
Carolyn, in particular, came across as incredibly difficult to connect with. I found her personality more exhausting than endearing, and by the end of the book she felt almost insufferable rather than mysterious or romantic.
That said...I never wanted to stop reading.
The memoir moves quickly, the chapters are short, and there is always enough relationship drama to keep the pages turning. Even when I was rolling my eyes at the characters, I was still entertained. Sometimes entertainment is enough.
✅ What the Book Gets Right
💔 Very easy to read
📖 Fast-paced and conversational
💔 Gives readers an unusual perspective on a famous public figure
📖 Keeps the story moving with little filler
💔 Feels honest about the messiness of relationships
📖 Makes for an entertaining afternoon read
❌ What the Book Gets Wrong
💭 The emotional depth never quite matches the dramatic subject matter.
💭 The relationships often feel repetitive rather than evolving.
💭 The characters rarely demonstrate meaningful emotional growth.
💭 Carolyn is difficult to sympathize with for much of the book.
💭 What is presented as a sweeping romance often comes across as emotionally unhealthy and frustrating instead.
🖤 Final Thoughts
The Other Man is one of those books that I enjoyed more for its entertainment value than for its emotional depth. I didn't come away believing I had witnessed one of history's great love stories.
Instead, I finished feeling like I had watched three emotionally underdeveloped people repeatedly make poor decisions while convincing themselves they were following their hearts.
Oddly enough, that made for a surprisingly enjoyable reading experience. It is messy. It is frustrating. It is occasionally unintentionally funny. And it is undeniably entertaining. Not a memoir that profoundly changed my perspective, but certainly one that kept me turning the pages. A solid three-star read.
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