The Highly Intuitive Child: A Guide to Understanding and Parenting Unusually Sensitive and Empathic Children

by Catherine Crawford

Some children can walk into a room and feel “the vibe” instantly in their body. Others may tune into an unspoken family conflict, or tell someone to "be careful" before stumbling into an unknown situation. These may seem to be the normal human qualities of intuition and empathy, but in highly intuitive children (and adults), such traits are supercharged. Growing up in a culture that favors the rational and the five senses can be difficult for gifted children. This book shows parents, teachers, and therapists how to help them — and those around them — embrace and exercise their gift. The Highly Intuitive Child covers a wealth of topics how to easily identify the intuitive child; how life is different for them; the 10 skills they must master before leaving home; the connections between neuroscience and intuition; what other cultures can teach us about supporting intuitive children; "indigo" children; success stories; and much more.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Childrens, Self Help, Reference, Education

264 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2008

Reviews

[Sonya Feher · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Twenty questions to ask yourself if you think you have an intuitive child" and "ten important life skills for intuitive children" are valuable resources for parents of children who know more than their five senses could tell them (or intuitive adults in their lives). I spent much of this book recognizing myself or my child, thinking I'll need to read this again when my son's older, and making mental notes about how to re-parent myself so that I can trust my inner voice. While much of it felt like information I knew, I grew up in an alternative spiritual household in Taos, NM. For anyone raised in more traditional America, The Highly Intuitive Child definitely provides information you're probably not getting elsewhere.

[Kathryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a useful guide to helping a sensitive child navigate life. It's well-organized and clearly written. Such a book would have been a great help to my parents when they were raising me. I'm happy to have received this book as an Early Reviewer and would recommend it.

[Miriam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intuition: knowing something at the gut level without, or before, confirmation
Empath: the ability to project ourselves into another's feelings, situation, or thoughts

Children who lead with intuition may have more occasions of knowing something to be true from the sixth sense and experience challenges particularly related to how they deal with energetic boundaries...children who lead with empathy experience heightened perceptions of how other people feel in their own bodies. Especially empathic kids are born with a heightened ability to naturally attune to other people's needs, and their challenges lean toward paying attention to their interpersonal boundaries. For example, they need to learn to pay attention to what they themselves want and need instead of always tuning in to and acting on other people's needs.

People with high levels of intuition typically fall into two subsets: intuitive empaths (experience intuition through their body and emotions) and intuitive thinkers (experience and express their intuitive insights through cognitive channels).

Ten Lif eSkills for Intuitive Children
1. Learning to tell the difference btw random fears and intuition
a. an abrupt change in mood with the incoming intuition
b. the child feels danger in the body
c. a sense of immediacy
- intuitive children often press for answers until they hear the truth, or until they receive an answer that feels congruous with what they are experiencing internally.

2. regulating the intuitive antenna
-Intuitive children easily leap to general conclusion, so it is helpful to rbeak down their images or feelings into small, specific details.
-how to spot stress in an intuitive child: an implosion of emotion, sucdden burst of explosion of emtion as the child tries to shake off all the stress she has puled in from other people and enviornments, inexplicable emtions (I'm feeling X and I don't know why and I can't get rid of it!..This reaction usually happpens when a child has taken on a specific negative emotion from someone else...the child may have moved away from the situation, but the negative feeling can still linger if he "took it on."

3. Turning down the volume on the extrasensing system
4. cultivating a intuitive vocabulary
5. Paying attention to what you need and want
6. Practicing daily energy hygience skills
7. Staying grounded
8. distinguishing your energy form that of others
9. Handling faulty intuivie conclusions/checking facts
10. Incorporating intuitive empathy into everyday life

Visualizing a Protective Bubble
Begin by taking a few deep breaths and imagine that your body and mind are safe and calm. It is peaceful here and you are connected to the earth and the earth loves that you are a part of life. Imagine that you have a bubble of light around you and there is lots of space for you. As you focus on the bubble, it becomes sparkly and filled with a beautiful color (choose the color) that makes you feel cozy and safe. Take a look at the edges of your bubble. Are there any holes in it or leaks? If you find anything that needs repairing, use your imagination to fill in those holes now. It is very safe to be in your own bubble, and loving and friendly feelings can come in and all the things you need protection from can stay on the outside of your bubble. Finish by decorating your bubble if you want. How about putting a warrior, warrioress, or protective animal outside you bubble for extra protection. Do you want this protection in front of you, in back, on your sides, or in every direction? You are in charge of the design, so go ahead and let your imagination tell you what it needs. (90)

Listening to Your Inner Guidance: Exploring Self Trust
-How are you doing in your life with regard to trusting yourself?
-Do you respect the voice of wisdom within yourself?
-Are you decisive about what matters most to you?
-Are you in tune to what you need, and is the volume on your needs louder than what other people might be demanding from you?
-If you had an even deeper trust in yourself, how do you think your life might or might not change?
-Are you comfortable with speaking up for your own needs? Are you conveying the importance of listening deeply within and trusting yourself to your intuitive child? (111)

How to Tell the Difference Btw Random Fears and Intuition
-an abrupt change in mood with the incoming intuition
-a Feeling of danger in the body
-a sense of immediacy

Tuning Down the Volume on the Intuitive Dial
-physical activity and exercise
-listen to music or an audio story
-focus on the here and now through rhythm of breathing or paying close attention to the details of a flower or eating a raisin really slowly and noticing every detail about that experience
-if a child's temperament has a tendency toward certain emotional issues such as anxiety or depression, she may be more sensitive to picking up on these very same things in the environment. "Is this mine or yours?" Help the child deal with their own preexisting feelings those becoming less of a magnet for picking up on and carrying other people's worries around with them.
-give your attention and intention to staying balanced and enjoying life: have you every noticed that when you are feeling strong, happy, and at peace with yourself you are less likely to be thrown off balance by other people's problems? Making pleasure, fun, and balance priorities is vital for intuitive children so that they stay resilient and less likely to feel the burden of others.
-Take the "over" out of the equation: lsiten for evidence that your child is overfunctioning in some way by overcaring, overresponding, overreaching, or any other way that the child is giving more than is appropriate in a situation, especially if it is causing the child stress. Remind children that their job is to be themselves and that they don't have to work so hard at taking care of everybody else.

Cultivating a Intuitive Vocabulary for speaking about their unique needs and experiences, and to know how to find people who can be supportive of their intuitive abilities.
-"That man made my body feel prickly and cold all of a sudden", or "My body feels so heavy and sad when I enter that building." Each time children practice listening to their body sensations and then tune into the information that these feelings offer, they build their self trust, self-awareness, and intuitive discernment abilities.
-When children are in a situation that doesn't feel safe intuitively, they will often use words and phrases such as "creepy", "skin crawling", "icky feeling in my stomach", or even "nauseous". You may want to agree on words, or some other kind of signal, that your child can use to communicate to you when she feels an intuitive sense of danger.
-when children feel overloaded by other people's emotions, words and phrases such as "I'm not feeling myself", "I'm sad and I don't know why", "all of a sudden I felt stressed (or a headache, or stomach ache, or tight inside)" may be used after they are around certain people.
-when children have a positive intuitive feeling about a certain situation or possible decision, the feeling could be described as "happy, light, bubbly, peaceful, or calm" If they feel intuitively negative about a situation, they may say "blocked, tight, tired, or confused."

7 Ways to squeeze out your energy sponge for children
1. Hoot into a pillow with big, wild movements
2. Shake it off with your arms or to music of the child's choice
3. Bang it into some clay-squeeze the clay, hammer it, rip at it, and put some mojo into it
4. Scrub it off with some water. Hop in the tub, shower, sprinklet and maybe add some sea salt to help move things along
5. Breathe a few deep breaths together to get back to center after the bigger feelings have been expressed
6. Imagine a color of safety and protection all around your child. Check to see if your child can feel his own energy again.
7. Send a kind wish for balance and healing to all involved and see each person free and disconnected from the situation

Ways of Supporting Grounding
-camping, gardening, mud and dirt play, spending time playing outside
-time spent on land experiences and around bodies of water or swimming pools or bathtun
-dance
-sitting with a child's back up against a large tree trunk or climbing trees
-playing with clay
-playing a musical instrument or rhythmic drumming
-rubbing your child's feet or giving the child a back rub

Acceptance: the child accept and value themselves.
Belonging: child knows they belong here in life
Connection: child grow in their awareness of being grounded through safe and loving relationships in their lives

Bandits that can rob us of a sense of play and creativity
-negativity and judgment about play
-working too much and not allowing for leisure time
-demanding that all time has to be used for important tasks, such as household jobs and work
-seeing art or play as second rate, an extra, or only a treat for when you get all the real work done
-glorifying the serious adult, puritanical work ethic
-thinking that it is just something that you do when you're on vacation
-believing it is only valuable if it produces a good, accomplished product
-fearing looking silly
-losing a sense of natural curiosity

If you are someone who is challenged in the play area, you might find it helpful to take a look at the following questions:
Is play of value in my life?
What messages did I receive about being playful as a child?
At what age was I expected to get seerious and stop playing, so much?
If you played more, what would that look like?
are you comfortable with your child's playfulness? How about when your child asks you to play? Do you resis or want to dive in?
How does play make your body feel?
Do you have playmates in your adult life? Do they truly accept you?
What kind of play did you enjoy as a child and what is the legacy of play that you would like to offer your child?
What games can you play with your child that will stimulate his creativity and help you to feel closer?
How do you cultivate play in your family life?
What do you need in order to bring more playfulness into your life?
what are your intentions for bringing art, play, and spirit into your home on a regular basis?
How do you think your life would look and feel to you and your family if play were a valued part of every day?

Common Challenges of Highly Intuitive and Empathic Adults Before Integration
-frequently over giving in relationships to try to fix, make peace, create, or restore a sense of harmony
-confusion about boundaries, both interpersonally and energetically
-inexplicable aches, pains, and body sensations around different people
-elevating other people's needs above your own to the detriment of being able to hear and act on your own needs
-foggy sense of self-trust, since the core of self-trust has been buried
-existential guilt, fatigue, or being overwhelmed by being privy to intuitive data and warnings about people and events without knowing what to do with this information
-hungry to be seen and acknowledged at a deep level by people who can relate with your perceptions in life
-existential stress that manifests as feeling uncomfortable with human existence and drawing increasingly from spiritual sustenance for meaning and support, which translates into feeling "more at home in spirit than on earth"
-wanting to fit in more or toughen up in order to be more like other people
-waning energy due to suppressing intuitive empathy, and consequently, suppressing one's spirit; over time, feeling tired trying to wear a "mask" to fit in to the dominant culture
-a tendency toward perfectionism as a means of making the external world more organized and a as a perceived means of calming down anxiety
-engaging in addictive behavior in order to drown out the excessive noise and stress often associated with intuitive overload (182)

[Vincy · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I asked for this book, I thought it was going to be about extra sensitive children, and in a way, it is. Yet it seems to focus more on children who have some sort of sixth sense. Children who have powers that we, as a conventional society do not today recognize.[return][return]I think the author did sensitive children a disservice by making the focus be on something that most of society does not believe in. The parenting and discussion advice were good, but undermined by the author's insistence on paranormal abilities. [return][return]It's not that I agree or disagree with the idea behind paranormal degrees of empathy, it's that I think that this book could have truly helped a wide range of sensitive children if the author had chosen not to tred into uncertain waters with her opinions about a possible sixth sense.

[Desiree · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fascinating. I did a paper on mirror neurons in college and always insisted that if there were people with under-active empathy, there must be those with over-active empathy. So there are. I think my child is one of them.
He doesn't fit all criteria, and it's quite obvious his teenage hormones are starting to cloud his abilities... but it all makes sense now!
However, this book is, even for ME, a little on the hippie-dippy side. Emotional Hygiene? Really?
An interesting read- I am off to check out Indigo Children now.

[Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

For parents, care givers, educators and doctors. This book will help society to view the intuitive mind as a treasure. BTW intuitive in this book is really about children that have a radar type of 6th sense and a very heightened 5 senses. You can go to the questions on page 17 and 18 to find out if it is a right fit for you. The 10 skills and vocabulary will help you grasp the concept as whole.

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was like reading about my own childhood - very encouraging.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I need a book group to read and discuss the topics presented here. Or a support group.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of like Kondo's Tidying Up book in that this one has a woo-woo factor but enough nuggets that make it worth the skim.

[Rachelklara of YHVH · Rating 3 out of 5]

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift & the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant & has forgotten the gift." ~Albert Einstein
"People who have both high intuition & empathy often sense unseen, emotional vibrations of other people through their own physical & emotional systems."
"Often their abilities fly under the radar of most adults & other kids. The reasons for this privacy are many, but one of the biggest reasons for these children tending to keep their unique insights private is their keen observation that they are aware of things that most people are not."
"When intuitive children get the impression that the adults they depend on think they are overly sensitive, weird, occupy too much of their time, or should act more like other kids, they may be tempted to start to shut down. Unfortunately, as they try to suppress their gifts, they start to shut down other wonderful parts of the self. The cost is great for children who detect, register, & believe that their trait is too much for the people around them. In the child's mind, this is a message that her whole self is too much. It is at this unfortunate point that an authentic sense of self is injured & the child may begin to develop a pseudo-self to fit in with the world. Ultimately, I don't think this trait can be squashed or taken away. My work with adult intuitives teaches me over & over that the gifts of intuitive empathy cannot be lost. When repressed in childhood, these gifts wait under the surface until they can be seen, acknowledged, & given permission to be used again."
"When we realize that there is nothing wrong with having a sensitive body, we can get busy with the real work of learning how to protect it, nourish it, & give it what it needs to stay balanced."
"A 'no' uttered from deepest conviction is better & greater than a 'yes' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble." ~Mahatma Gandhi
"Intuitive children often feel alien to the norms of modern culture."
"Linear time is ruled by the clock. It goes in only one forward direction & is scheduled & regulated based on a set of points in time.... By contrast, intuitive time is informed by the great, slower rhythms & cycles of life- the sun, moon, & stars traversing across the sky, the seasons & their teachings about life, the eternal return of day & night.... A good book, some art, daydreaming, time in nature, & even playing with friends can all do the trick of helping them realign with this slower rhythm within."
"Eating can be a source of comfort as well as nutrition.... For this type of child, you might want to pay attention to what the child is truly hungering for & notice if he eats for comfort. If this is the case, helping your child to state his emotional needs & receive loving attention from a parent can be a powerful redirect."
"The kind of inputs that we receive in the form of other's people's words, moods, & treatment of us, as well as the experience we expose ourselves to, make a big difference in our lives, maybe more than we even realize.... If the child is simply 'taking on' the other person's pain & the pain is shutting down the child, it is time to practice some of the skills taught in this book or just to take a break from the negative input altogether."
"When we try to put a lid on a defining trait that is integral to our life force, we are asking for trouble. Although it makes good sense to know when, how, & who to reveal intuitive, empathic information to in life, a full-out suppression is a drastic response."
"In therapy she had ample opportunity to speak all of her truths & to be witnessed by someone who wouldn't judge her. Through this process, her deepest truths surfaced- just waiting to be shared. Oftentimes a highly intuitive adult can wait a lifetime for this experience. When someone realizes there is nothing wrong with the way they perceive life, even if it is different from the dominant culture, it lifts a huge weight off the person. This is energy that can then be applied to jettisoning outdated behaviors & living life with purpose, passion, & joy."
"Dana's work wasn't complete simply by realizing that her intuition was a gift & not a curse. Now she faced the work of honestly looking at all the ways she had created a life for others & denied herself the riches of her won heart's desires. Taking excessive care of others was a major drain on her body, her emotions, & her ability to be close with people."
Pages 181 &182
"Codependency is characterized by focusing more on other's people's need at the expense of your own & is driven by the need to be needed by other people, which defines a codependent's self-worth. For intuitive empaths, the excessive focusing on the needs of others is often driven by the tendency to absorb someone else's negative emotions & then trying to find a way to feel better. This can result in a desire to make the other person feel better so that the highly intuitive person doesn't have to continue absorbing & vibrating with the uncomfortable feelings in their body. In other words, whereas the codependent is often driven by a need to get something (feeling needed & worthy), the highly intuitive person is often driven by a need to get rid of something (someone else's negative emotions).
"Learning how to regulate the challenge of this trait can free up a wealth of energy that yields many positive benefits. One of the benefits is having more energy available to do what you love & to connect to inner truth & guidance. You can experience clearer, more congruent communication & less fear. Being in tune to your own sensitivities, boundaries, & needs also provides information to use in being proactive about those needs- instead of always needing to recover from life. Listening to your own needs & meeting those needs on a regular basis holds the promise of feeling more alive & positive. It eliminates, or greatly shortens, the recovery time of the stressful components of this trait."

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is extremely helpful in giving insight into intuitive children, what their needs are and how to help them process what they are feeling and have coping skills to help them deal with sensory overload. She mentioned showing your children manners/etiquette where you don't go up to a stranger and tell them what you see/feel. It would have been nice to have more of that insight. I did find the book very repetitive. Overall, a worthwhile read if you have a child who needs to be understood.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

While not what I expected, the step by step instructions given by this author would serve any teacher or parent well. My child, while extra sensitive to the feelings of others, is not, I think, truly empathic, in that she does not express a knowing outside of what is knowable to others.
Crawford has lived with this gift/ curse, and works hard to communicate how interactions wth these children should be handled. She does not write from a Christian perspective, but does not belittle the involvement of God or a higher power in her suggestions.

[Joy Miraglia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the guides and ideas in this book to be extremely helpful. I also found new ways in which to continue my own reparenting process. I would love to read something similar but more recently written to include the impacts of social media and the overwhelming amount of information and news cycles. I was a little trepidatious about the “indigenous wisdom” section and was prepared for a lot of early 2000s cultural appropriation but found it to be very enlightening and honoring to their traditions.

[Amber · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh. Kind of boring and tedious. I feel like the first half of the book kept referring to a single chapter in the second half. Felt like a lot of talking in circles and the author trying to make herself look good but really it was just... meh. And not all that helpful for my empathic child like I was hoping. Told me a lot of stuff I already knew but I suppose it could be more helpful for non-empaths with empathic children.

[Leah Lane · Rating 2 out of 5]

As an intuitive-sensitive adult I thought this might have been interesting to see how I can help my children, whom I feel may share some qualities of my personality. But this book focuses more on telepathy and senses of spirits. There are many differing forms of being intuitive sensitive and unfortunately this book doesn’t delve into the other aspects. It was interesting to read, though.

[ROSALIE · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book I wish I'd had long ago. It deals with children, or adults, who are more sensitive than usual to things in their world in an empathic nature. Crawford puts this nature into perspective as simply another part of personality and helps to keep things balanced. Often being overwhelmed by their sensitivities to other's feelings and what may be going on somewhere, we find ways to cope and balance in this book. It's good to know that here are answers and suggestions to help your child or yourself along life's way.

[Priya Narthakii · Rating 1 out of 5]

presents an interesting idea but was very focused on a specific type of intuitive child. it also seemed like the author's suggestions were coming from a place of overcompensation for an upbringing that completely ignores her gifts. it was a little judgy in her undertone. just had a wierd undertone of overcompensation for something she missed out on. some interesting points though when you could weed out the tone.

[Carolyn Wilhelm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked the phrases and thoughts like intuitive manners, intuitive vs codependency, how empathy is closely aligned with intuition, the discussion of adult and child people with intuition, how to tell if a thought might be incorrect, being grounded, being careful, checking facts, and trusting yourself.

[ceecee · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book wasn't quite what I was looking for, but it did have some interesting methods of dealing. The only reason this book wasn't completely what I was looking for was because this book talked a great deal about children with a six sense ability that allowed them to see/feel things that others do not.

Other than that this was a good book.

[Zyonese · Rating 4 out of 5]

Crawford does a good job in this book. If you have read little on the subject matter it is the perfect book to read. Not a book for psychology professionals. It is repetitive and shows no new techniques or research.

[Nelsongo8 Nelson]

I have read bits and pieces of a firends copy only. I am very excited to read this whole thing. It is an insight into something that needs to be nurtured instead of ignored in children.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book was very helpful in understanding how I see the world but also helpful in how I respond to my children. Very easy to read and encouraging from a strengths perspective.

[Marla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredibly helpful for me. She has a brief section on adults at the end.

[Aili · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too new-age for me.

[Ashley Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

Only read some, hard for me to read.

[Stefanie]

I was expecting some advice on intuitive children as defined by myers briggs. Instead this book focuses more on a mystical six sense, even future telling aspect to some children's abilities. It was not a fit for my needs.

[Marcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have suspected that my autistic daughter is an intuitive empath. She frequently says out loud what I was just thinking to myself and obviously "feeds" off the emotions of those around her as well as the environment. I am quick to assume this about her because I am the same way, to a lesser degree I think. While this book is not written from a Christian angle, I can easily incorporate the tips from a Biblical perspective.