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Delicacy: A Memoir About Cake and Death
From award-winning comedian and writer Katy Wix comes
Delicacy
- a different kind of memoir from an astonishing new voice.
Twenty-one snapshots of a life - some staccato, raw and shocking, some expansive, meditative and profound, underpinned with moments of startling humour that shatter the darkness - all beginning with a single memory. A memory of cake.
The sickly royal icing marked the moment Katy found her voice. The madeira cake was the sun her group therapy sessions orbited. The 'missing cake' from a lost holiday has never let go. The Bara brith eaten in hospital after a life-altering car crash was as tough as the metal that hit her. The supermarket rock cake was where she 'practised wanting'.
Shocking, raw, darkly funny and deeply humane, Katy Wix's exploration of trauma, grief, addiction, love, loss, memory and hope is truly unforgettable.
Twenty-one snapshots of a life - some staccato, raw and shocking, some expansive, meditative and profound, underpinned with moments of startling humour that shatter the darkness - all beginning with a single memory. A memory of cake.
The sickly royal icing marked the moment Katy found her voice. The madeira cake was the sun her group therapy sessions orbited. The 'missing cake' from a lost holiday has never let go. The Bara brith eaten in hospital after a life-altering car crash was as tough as the metal that hit her. The supermarket rock cake was where she 'practised wanting'.
Shocking, raw, darkly funny and deeply humane, Katy Wix's exploration of trauma, grief, addiction, love, loss, memory and hope is truly unforgettable.
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First published April 15, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 220 reviews
January 31, 2023
Katy Wix, I am in love with you this was beautiful
November 22, 2021
To summarise, probably more a slice of “life” -well actually, more death, loss and grief, than a slice of cake...
Apparently this book took the author three years to finish -to quote: “because life kept getting in the way and people kept dying,” which definitely makes sense, having now finished reading it.
Now this is by no means a bad book. In fact -to stretch the cake metaphor even further, like any good cake, this book is layered with many darkly comedic moments and wonderfully witty writing.
However, it is also -and rather unfortunately, a book that would strongly benefit from an extra edit or two, as ultimately it read a little too “all over the (cake?)shop” for my liking
2.5/3 stars
Thank you again to Headline books for sending me this review copy!
Apparently this book took the author three years to finish -to quote: “because life kept getting in the way and people kept dying,” which definitely makes sense, having now finished reading it.
Now this is by no means a bad book. In fact -to stretch the cake metaphor even further, like any good cake, this book is layered with many darkly comedic moments and wonderfully witty writing.
However, it is also -and rather unfortunately, a book that would strongly benefit from an extra edit or two, as ultimately it read a little too “all over the (cake?)shop” for my liking
2.5/3 stars
Thank you again to Headline books for sending me this review copy!
February 13, 2022
Reflections and lessons learned:
“It’s a wonderful feeling knowing someone is so completely on your side without agenda”
Oh wow - I saw the title and subtitle, but little had I realised what full on emotion I was going into with this. Ageing; learning; testing, stretching, abusing; consuming, nourishing; connecting and disconnecting; losing and coping - all trying to be simultaneously reflected upon and understood still through these words. The tender and painful sides of life delivered in a matter of fact way, but with a deeply, understandably, hurting edge. It took me a few attempts to read this as it was almost too intimate, and the closeness to Wix in age/time frame recognitions almost too raw for where I am in life following a wave of personal loss. This is ideal for anyone paranoid about themselves feeling vulnerable and confused, about mortality and life - at some point we all have to deal with these two elements of sweetness and darkness
“It’s a wonderful feeling knowing someone is so completely on your side without agenda”
Oh wow - I saw the title and subtitle, but little had I realised what full on emotion I was going into with this. Ageing; learning; testing, stretching, abusing; consuming, nourishing; connecting and disconnecting; losing and coping - all trying to be simultaneously reflected upon and understood still through these words. The tender and painful sides of life delivered in a matter of fact way, but with a deeply, understandably, hurting edge. It took me a few attempts to read this as it was almost too intimate, and the closeness to Wix in age/time frame recognitions almost too raw for where I am in life following a wave of personal loss. This is ideal for anyone paranoid about themselves feeling vulnerable and confused, about mortality and life - at some point we all have to deal with these two elements of sweetness and darkness
April 18, 2021
I really liked this book. The way it spoke about body image and being a carer in particular felt very cathartic. There are points where I think some of the conceits employed as vehicles to speak about those things got in the way, which was a little frustrating. On the whole it is such a beautiful read, I would highly recommend!
February 24, 2022
4.5 (Why am I so obsessed with the nuance of rating? Like just give the bloody thing a 5.)
I binge-watched Taskmaster recently and loved how creative Katy was in her series. Then when she had a stand-in for a couple of episodes I was something like intrigued (too nosy/cold) or concerned (too earnest). I’ve always been interested by people’s absence. I remember at school when someone would go to the medical room and then get sent home. I’d be so distracted by their abandoned belongings and the empty seat. Those things drew attention to the fact that we’d be carrying on with our days as normal whilst our friend was consumed by their debilitating personal drama, probably throwing up or plagued with toothache or feeling like the world was going to end. One day we ourselves would probably be that empty seat, and everyone would just carry on doing sums. When Katy was missing, I sensed that she was struggling with more than a cold, and it made the laughter in the episode feel hollow.
So yes I thought I'd check out her demons, see how they compared to my own. I listened to Delicacy on audiobook, even though I’d been particularly attracted to the picture of a Victoria sponge slice on the physical copy and by the way the words were laid out in short snippets on the page. Katy's voice is soothing and sometimes there is birdsong in the background which I doubt you're supposed to hear. Delicacy is an emotional and often dark memoir, but I found it somewhat comforting. It clarified a couple of things I only knew about myself previously in a hazy way. There are also humorous elements that bring relief from the sadness. My favourite thing is how original Katy's story feels despite covering familiar and relatable topics such as disordered eating, bullying, depression and loss. The stories are full of absurdities that can only be found in an individual real life. The book is so true to the inexplicable nature of those details that stick with us.
Overall a few quotes I wrote down:
''You can't feel one loss without feeling every loss you've ever had.''
''Trauma means reacting in the moment as you are, you have to be horribly yourself.''
''I was attracted to unstable bodies.''
With a physical copy there'd have been a lot more tabbed.
I binge-watched Taskmaster recently and loved how creative Katy was in her series. Then when she had a stand-in for a couple of episodes I was something like intrigued (too nosy/cold) or concerned (too earnest). I’ve always been interested by people’s absence. I remember at school when someone would go to the medical room and then get sent home. I’d be so distracted by their abandoned belongings and the empty seat. Those things drew attention to the fact that we’d be carrying on with our days as normal whilst our friend was consumed by their debilitating personal drama, probably throwing up or plagued with toothache or feeling like the world was going to end. One day we ourselves would probably be that empty seat, and everyone would just carry on doing sums. When Katy was missing, I sensed that she was struggling with more than a cold, and it made the laughter in the episode feel hollow.
So yes I thought I'd check out her demons, see how they compared to my own. I listened to Delicacy on audiobook, even though I’d been particularly attracted to the picture of a Victoria sponge slice on the physical copy and by the way the words were laid out in short snippets on the page. Katy's voice is soothing and sometimes there is birdsong in the background which I doubt you're supposed to hear. Delicacy is an emotional and often dark memoir, but I found it somewhat comforting. It clarified a couple of things I only knew about myself previously in a hazy way. There are also humorous elements that bring relief from the sadness. My favourite thing is how original Katy's story feels despite covering familiar and relatable topics such as disordered eating, bullying, depression and loss. The stories are full of absurdities that can only be found in an individual real life. The book is so true to the inexplicable nature of those details that stick with us.
Overall a few quotes I wrote down:
''You can't feel one loss without feeling every loss you've ever had.''
''Trauma means reacting in the moment as you are, you have to be horribly yourself.''
''I was attracted to unstable bodies.''
With a physical copy there'd have been a lot more tabbed.
January 31, 2022
I am in the minority here but I didn't enjoy this book. I found it self indulgent. I struggled to find the humour and although elements of it felt very raw and real, there wasn't enough of that or the dark humour for a whole book.
I have a lot in common with Katy Wix's situation and yet I struggled to empathise.
The writing was ok, but the reference to cake was unnecessary.
I really wanted to like this more.
I have a lot in common with Katy Wix's situation and yet I struggled to empathise.
The writing was ok, but the reference to cake was unnecessary.
I really wanted to like this more.
January 31, 2022
funny, sad, beautiful. kinda made me hate cake
May 18, 2021
Мемуари про торти, терапію, фетшеймінг, любов до себе, фемінізм, депресію, смерть рідних. Іноді дуже дивні, місцями дуже ріже по живому. Цитати виписуються шматками.
Чомусь всі вирішили, що якщо Кейті Вікс комедіантка, то книга має бути смішна, але тільки в одному місці вона викликала у мене легкі посмішки через гру зі стилем, в решті - heartbreaking.
***
Then I wondered how girls are supposed to relate to their bodies, when no one else is around.
***
I began to type: ‘Of course, I forgive you. It was years ago now. We were only young, we’re very different people now. We were teenagers. Let’s just move on . . .’ As I was writing it, I thought things like, This is so kind of me and, This is the right thing to do and, It feels good to do the right thing and, How nice of her. I’m not sure why, but I didn’t press ‘send’. A few days later, I recounted the whole thing to my therapist during our session and told her what my draft reply had said, waiting at home to be sent. She said, ‘And is that how you feel?’ and I thought for a while, and then I said, ‘No. No, that’s definitely not how I feel,’ and she said, ‘Well, don’t send it then,’ and I thought, What a good therapist. So, that evening, I replied with the truth instead. ‘No, I don’t forgive you,’ I wrote and pressed ‘send’.
***
Food was my way of controlling time. Not eating was a way of attempting time travel. Every time I refused food, I was investing in my future self, a better me. Conversely, every time I binged, I was fixed on the past, because bingeing is always a message from a past self about trauma. Not eating is a rebellion against a grown-up body and a grown-up world. If binge-eating could speak, it wouldn’t have a future tense.
***
The women inside were posing in bikinis in their thin ‘after’ photos. They had finally figured out how to never obey their appetites and to always remain hungry, and had, at last, become lovable and fuckable. I would read the details over again, memorising how they did it. Love was possible. Someone would meet my outrageous needs if I could just memorise a few weight-loss tips. Without the magazines there, to remind me that I should constantly be trying to improve myself and my body, then I would descend into chaos, happiness even. ‘Your body is a job,’ the magazines would wail as a chorus, and it was a life-long job. You must never have a day when you are not trying to be smaller, tighter, toned, younger, prettier, fresher, natural, hairless, more approachable, accessorised correctly and lovable. Diets are a time for absolutes: thin or fat, good or bad. Sometimes the hunger would keep me awake at night. I would distract myself rather than feed myself. Feed others, not yourself. Some experiences just aren’t for me. Eating is a spectator sport.
***
She gives and gives to others, cares for others, and doesn’t expect the same in return. You realise that you are probably trying to fulfil your parents’ unrealised creative dreams, and yet she demonstrates to you that womanhood equals martyrdom. It’s confusing.
***
You are thin. But you feel cheated and as though you have been lied to. You aren’t any happier. In fact you hate yourself more because now you are so empty and tired. You don’t have the energy for romance, you don’t feel small enough anyway despite what friends say, and the hunger keeps you adrenalised and awake at night. Being thin means nothing. Your internal experience of who you are hasn’t changed. The women’s mags told you the problem lay within you, not the world, that it wasn’t society that needed to change, it was you. They promised you a day when you would finally get the love you wanted and deserved if you could reach your goal weight. It’s as if you have finished a game of pass-the-parcel that lasted for years, only to find no gift at the centre. A smaller body has little to do with intimacy, joy, pleasure, connection and power. All thinness gives you is a feeling of having a body that doesn’t stand out.
***
This is what happens, if you’ve been body-shamed from a young age: you lose the ability to feel as though your body is your own. You muddle your needs with someone else’s very easily, because you don’t think your body is worth defending. And I didn’t know how to articulate any of this to Hip Flask, at 3 a.m. Would he even have listened? In all honesty, I felt too fat to say no.
***
If I could just make my body smaller, firmer, then I would be protected from things like this happening again. A thin body conveyed restraint, self-worth, and no one would think to abuse it. I believed thinness was a protection from misuse and harm. Society stands up for the thin body.
***
Young women were supposed to be desired and pretty, not moon-faced and depressed, pretend-eating pasta with their mums. I looked at her and wondered when and how I had somehow got the message that, despite knowing that I was smart, my real goal should be to have someone fall in love with me; that would be the pinnacle of being a girl.
***
if we are to get anywhere in this world, we must, at some point, learn to sever the ties between applause and self-worth.
***
Out of sight and in my room, I opened the lid and, too scared to confront my real feelings or real emotional hungers, I began to eat and eat and eat. Sugar was something my body could trust, a reliable, dependable source of comfort. It’s impossible to feel anything mid-binge and that’s the point. But the sweetness is swiftly followed by something distinctly unsweet. Straight after the binge come the guilt and the self-loathing. I threw what was left of the cake in the bin. But I wasn’t done. A few moments later, I took it back out of the bin and continued to eat. Afterwards, I ripped the box up into small pieces and threw them away, so that in the morning no trace of the cake could be found. I hated myself for not being able to treat food normally, like other people did.
***
The problem with exercise is that you have to keep doing it. It’s not a one-time thing, like chickenpox or drowning.
***
I made a note to myself to write a play about a personal trainer who falls in love with his client. The irony is, he falls for the very body he is trying so hard to change. If Anthony Canada could fall in love with a fat person, then maybe his whole universe would change. It would mean walking arm in arm down the road with a body that wasn’t ideal, but he would have to tell the world that this was the body he had fallen in love with, and that maybe what he thought he needed and what he thought love would look like had been wrong all along.
***
It’s like the way some writers think ‘strong female lead’ means a female character who is capable of violence/revenge, but it takes just as much strength to be fat or depressed.
***
The language of pain isn’t helpful. The placement of pain, on a scale from one to ten, relies on having been in pain before.
***
Known hells are preferable to strange heavens
Чомусь всі вирішили, що якщо Кейті Вікс комедіантка, то книга має бути смішна, але тільки в одному місці вона викликала у мене легкі посмішки через гру зі стилем, в решті - heartbreaking.
***
Then I wondered how girls are supposed to relate to their bodies, when no one else is around.
***
I began to type: ‘Of course, I forgive you. It was years ago now. We were only young, we’re very different people now. We were teenagers. Let’s just move on . . .’ As I was writing it, I thought things like, This is so kind of me and, This is the right thing to do and, It feels good to do the right thing and, How nice of her. I’m not sure why, but I didn’t press ‘send’. A few days later, I recounted the whole thing to my therapist during our session and told her what my draft reply had said, waiting at home to be sent. She said, ‘And is that how you feel?’ and I thought for a while, and then I said, ‘No. No, that’s definitely not how I feel,’ and she said, ‘Well, don’t send it then,’ and I thought, What a good therapist. So, that evening, I replied with the truth instead. ‘No, I don’t forgive you,’ I wrote and pressed ‘send’.
***
Food was my way of controlling time. Not eating was a way of attempting time travel. Every time I refused food, I was investing in my future self, a better me. Conversely, every time I binged, I was fixed on the past, because bingeing is always a message from a past self about trauma. Not eating is a rebellion against a grown-up body and a grown-up world. If binge-eating could speak, it wouldn’t have a future tense.
***
The women inside were posing in bikinis in their thin ‘after’ photos. They had finally figured out how to never obey their appetites and to always remain hungry, and had, at last, become lovable and fuckable. I would read the details over again, memorising how they did it. Love was possible. Someone would meet my outrageous needs if I could just memorise a few weight-loss tips. Without the magazines there, to remind me that I should constantly be trying to improve myself and my body, then I would descend into chaos, happiness even. ‘Your body is a job,’ the magazines would wail as a chorus, and it was a life-long job. You must never have a day when you are not trying to be smaller, tighter, toned, younger, prettier, fresher, natural, hairless, more approachable, accessorised correctly and lovable. Diets are a time for absolutes: thin or fat, good or bad. Sometimes the hunger would keep me awake at night. I would distract myself rather than feed myself. Feed others, not yourself. Some experiences just aren’t for me. Eating is a spectator sport.
***
She gives and gives to others, cares for others, and doesn’t expect the same in return. You realise that you are probably trying to fulfil your parents’ unrealised creative dreams, and yet she demonstrates to you that womanhood equals martyrdom. It’s confusing.
***
You are thin. But you feel cheated and as though you have been lied to. You aren’t any happier. In fact you hate yourself more because now you are so empty and tired. You don’t have the energy for romance, you don’t feel small enough anyway despite what friends say, and the hunger keeps you adrenalised and awake at night. Being thin means nothing. Your internal experience of who you are hasn’t changed. The women’s mags told you the problem lay within you, not the world, that it wasn’t society that needed to change, it was you. They promised you a day when you would finally get the love you wanted and deserved if you could reach your goal weight. It’s as if you have finished a game of pass-the-parcel that lasted for years, only to find no gift at the centre. A smaller body has little to do with intimacy, joy, pleasure, connection and power. All thinness gives you is a feeling of having a body that doesn’t stand out.
***
This is what happens, if you’ve been body-shamed from a young age: you lose the ability to feel as though your body is your own. You muddle your needs with someone else’s very easily, because you don’t think your body is worth defending. And I didn’t know how to articulate any of this to Hip Flask, at 3 a.m. Would he even have listened? In all honesty, I felt too fat to say no.
***
If I could just make my body smaller, firmer, then I would be protected from things like this happening again. A thin body conveyed restraint, self-worth, and no one would think to abuse it. I believed thinness was a protection from misuse and harm. Society stands up for the thin body.
***
Young women were supposed to be desired and pretty, not moon-faced and depressed, pretend-eating pasta with their mums. I looked at her and wondered when and how I had somehow got the message that, despite knowing that I was smart, my real goal should be to have someone fall in love with me; that would be the pinnacle of being a girl.
***
if we are to get anywhere in this world, we must, at some point, learn to sever the ties between applause and self-worth.
***
Out of sight and in my room, I opened the lid and, too scared to confront my real feelings or real emotional hungers, I began to eat and eat and eat. Sugar was something my body could trust, a reliable, dependable source of comfort. It’s impossible to feel anything mid-binge and that’s the point. But the sweetness is swiftly followed by something distinctly unsweet. Straight after the binge come the guilt and the self-loathing. I threw what was left of the cake in the bin. But I wasn’t done. A few moments later, I took it back out of the bin and continued to eat. Afterwards, I ripped the box up into small pieces and threw them away, so that in the morning no trace of the cake could be found. I hated myself for not being able to treat food normally, like other people did.
***
The problem with exercise is that you have to keep doing it. It’s not a one-time thing, like chickenpox or drowning.
***
I made a note to myself to write a play about a personal trainer who falls in love with his client. The irony is, he falls for the very body he is trying so hard to change. If Anthony Canada could fall in love with a fat person, then maybe his whole universe would change. It would mean walking arm in arm down the road with a body that wasn’t ideal, but he would have to tell the world that this was the body he had fallen in love with, and that maybe what he thought he needed and what he thought love would look like had been wrong all along.
***
It’s like the way some writers think ‘strong female lead’ means a female character who is capable of violence/revenge, but it takes just as much strength to be fat or depressed.
***
The language of pain isn’t helpful. The placement of pain, on a scale from one to ten, relies on having been in pain before.
***
Known hells are preferable to strange heavens
April 27, 2022
i love this book and i love katy so much. i picked this up because of how much i adore ghosts and thought it would be a funny memoir about cake but upon finishing it i feel like she managed to articulate so many feelings i’ve never been able to place.
her writing is so honest and her reflections on grief, mental health & body image are so well written. i really really loved this book and i highly recommend it
her writing is so honest and her reflections on grief, mental health & body image are so well written. i really really loved this book and i highly recommend it
April 19, 2021
I’m floored by this. So open and honest, so much warmth, so much vulnerability. I loved it so much.
April 30, 2022
I’ve just put this book down feel changed by it. It’s astounding.
August 13, 2024
my favourite memoir I've read - the chapters on her parents and the exercise are beautiful and funny. The ending is extremely lovely.
Some other stories didn't resonate with me as much but overall is a lovely read - the highs are very high.
Some other stories didn't resonate with me as much but overall is a lovely read - the highs are very high.
August 29, 2024
Funny, sad, really really brilliant. I loved this. I cried the whole way through, I laughed out loud in cafes and on trains, and I just want to sit with Katy and tell her thank you. 21 snapshots of her life and truly eloquent writing about guilt, grief, pain, and trauma. Her articulate understanding of body image and mental health floored me. I felt seen and listened to by someone I have never met. I finished this a few hours ago but have been sitting hugging it. A new favourite. I'm going to go and eat cake and cry. I think it's what Katy would want.
October 19, 2022
I loved this. It spoke to me so much of growing up as a woman in the last forty years (turns out we are basically the same age, I am 25 days older). Growing up with a mother constantly on a diet, learning to hate your body, awful situations with men and the terribly wrong thinking back then. Wonderful discussion of grief. The cake theme worked better in some places than others, but you know, cake, can't complain.
August 24, 2022
4.5 stars. A sensitively written, perceptive memoir by a smart, funny lady. It’s also extremely sad in places as Katy has experienced intense grief (both her parents and her best friend died in quick succession). A recommended read, despite (or perhaps because of) the sadness. It might just be my favourite memoir read of the year.
March 19, 2022
4.25* Wix writes beautifully in a way that’s so stark and vulnerable. I didn’t really have any expectations going into this, it was sadder than I’d imagined it would be but I’ve never read grief explained so simply. Safe to say I cried on multiple occasions
June 18, 2022
Got lost in this books honesty.
October 28, 2022
Devastating, beautiful, brave. Mental health, grief, body image, so many important aspects of humanity explored. My admiration for Katy Wix has grown immensely.
September 29, 2024
Despite being written by a comedian, this is very much not a comedy memoir and barely mentions her career and most famous work as more than a minor aside. This is resolutely not about The Work. It’s more of a diary of grief, body image, depression and loss, told via fractured but structured snapshots from her life. And by being such digestible chunks, varied in style and form, it never feels overbearing, but constantly enlightening. Would make a good companion with Sarah Polley’s Run Towards the Danger as anything but a showbiz memoir by someone from that sphere.
July 20, 2025
it took me some time to get into it (maybe because of the cake metaphor or her childhood memories) but I really enjoyed the second half of the book, especially when katy reflected on her grief. the parts about anticipatory grief meant a lot to me.
in the end, I finished the memoir feeling quite hopeful ⭐️
in the end, I finished the memoir feeling quite hopeful ⭐️
August 17, 2023
Holy crap, this is a good book.
May 4, 2022
Achingly sad, with brief and poignant glimmers of humour. A voice unlike any other I've read! If I ever meet Katy Wix, I'd like to give her a big hug, but the vibe I get from this book is that she probably wouldn't want one.
August 11, 2022
It’s not like I didn’t enjoy this book because I did, I just found it very slow (I’m starting to think this is a me thing now). I enjoyed the last half of the book a lot more than the first half tbh, I’m not sure if I like memoirs yet- maybe my reading taste buds need to mature first
April 25, 2022
"I have often wondered if the last book you read is important. I remember the last book I read to my dad [....] The last book you read before you die is like the type of coin that gets put under your tongue for Charon. It is mental substance for your journey, something to remember as you go on your way" (p.206).
"Cakes are weird, camp objects that seem to appear whenever something emotionally devastating is happening to me. They represent everything that is false and cloying. I resent cakes: their condescending frilliness, the fact that they don't want me to tell the truth. When someone appeared with tea and cake in the middle of a family psychodrama, what they are really saying was: Let's all eat our feelings instead of expressing them" (p.2).
Delicacy is a memoir of loss, death and the traumas which can often make-up a life. Whilst I do still feel it a bit strange trying to rate a person's experiences, especially when it comes to them describing their experiences of death, I have to say that I really enjoyed this book (enjoyed - I honestly don't know what the most appropriate word would be there). Personally, I felt that the way Katy wrote made me feel that I could relate to her, despite not having gotten to the same stage in my life where I have had to cope with the loss of a significant person from my life. Although she works in comedy, I found it refreshing that this memoir was in no way a nod to the other celebrities in her life. She didn't name-drop to 'impress' us with who she has worked alongside, but she also didn't divulge all information, so for example, although she did discuss incidents which had happened to her within her acting life, she wasn't completely lifting the veil and bringing other people into the spotlight. I have to say that I found this refreshing, as the memoir then came across as just a book about her experiences as a human being with feelings, rather than a celebrity baring it all, so to speak. There is a dark humour to her work, which is to be expected due to her being a comedian. I found her writing to be very honest and personable. The only reason why I gave 4 stars was that, at times, I felt that the sense of time (by this I mean when things were happening in her life) could be a little hazy. A minor gripe really, and I would definitely recommend it to others.
"Cakes are weird, camp objects that seem to appear whenever something emotionally devastating is happening to me. They represent everything that is false and cloying. I resent cakes: their condescending frilliness, the fact that they don't want me to tell the truth. When someone appeared with tea and cake in the middle of a family psychodrama, what they are really saying was: Let's all eat our feelings instead of expressing them" (p.2).
Delicacy is a memoir of loss, death and the traumas which can often make-up a life. Whilst I do still feel it a bit strange trying to rate a person's experiences, especially when it comes to them describing their experiences of death, I have to say that I really enjoyed this book (enjoyed - I honestly don't know what the most appropriate word would be there). Personally, I felt that the way Katy wrote made me feel that I could relate to her, despite not having gotten to the same stage in my life where I have had to cope with the loss of a significant person from my life. Although she works in comedy, I found it refreshing that this memoir was in no way a nod to the other celebrities in her life. She didn't name-drop to 'impress' us with who she has worked alongside, but she also didn't divulge all information, so for example, although she did discuss incidents which had happened to her within her acting life, she wasn't completely lifting the veil and bringing other people into the spotlight. I have to say that I found this refreshing, as the memoir then came across as just a book about her experiences as a human being with feelings, rather than a celebrity baring it all, so to speak. There is a dark humour to her work, which is to be expected due to her being a comedian. I found her writing to be very honest and personable. The only reason why I gave 4 stars was that, at times, I felt that the sense of time (by this I mean when things were happening in her life) could be a little hazy. A minor gripe really, and I would definitely recommend it to others.
April 1, 2023
2.5
I didn’t know the author was a celebrity when I bought this book, so considering writing isn’t her day job this wasn’t bad! Having said that, I have my reservations.
I liked the premise of the book, linking cake with significant life events, but she should have leaned into it more. She should have been stricter about it.
There was a film we watched when we were kids featuring the alien puppets Zig and Zag, and I can’t remember why but during the film at regular intervals there was an announcement “this film has nothing, we repeat, nothing to do with toast”. At times reading this book I thought “this chapter has nothing to do with cake”. Sometimes the links were tenuous at best, and sometimes the shorter passages felt like fillers. Insert some kind of cake metaphor here.
But parts of it were very engaging, very moving. She writes very well about grief, god love her. And what she wrote about having a female body is interesting too. The email exchange between her and her personal trainer was very clever and funny.
So uneven, frustrating, but enjoyable.
I didn’t know the author was a celebrity when I bought this book, so considering writing isn’t her day job this wasn’t bad! Having said that, I have my reservations.
I liked the premise of the book, linking cake with significant life events, but she should have leaned into it more. She should have been stricter about it.
There was a film we watched when we were kids featuring the alien puppets Zig and Zag, and I can’t remember why but during the film at regular intervals there was an announcement “this film has nothing, we repeat, nothing to do with toast”. At times reading this book I thought “this chapter has nothing to do with cake”. Sometimes the links were tenuous at best, and sometimes the shorter passages felt like fillers. Insert some kind of cake metaphor here.
But parts of it were very engaging, very moving. She writes very well about grief, god love her. And what she wrote about having a female body is interesting too. The email exchange between her and her personal trainer was very clever and funny.
So uneven, frustrating, but enjoyable.
April 17, 2021
I don’t even have the vocabulary to describe how I feel about this book. Just so beautifully written, and so vulnerable. I couldn’t put it down, I was completely engrossed. Thank you for writing this Katy, I adored it.
October 22, 2021
This book was excellent from start to finish
I laughed, I sobbed, I also thought a lot about cake
I’m not usually one for writing in books, it feels forbidden, but I found myself underlining sentences that spoke to me. Katy Wix’ writing was so beautiful
I laughed, I sobbed, I also thought a lot about cake
I’m not usually one for writing in books, it feels forbidden, but I found myself underlining sentences that spoke to me. Katy Wix’ writing was so beautiful
June 10, 2024
I feel like I need Katy to help me write this review, given her immaculate ability to put words to wordless feelings...
I've read a lot of memoirs about grief, womanhood, complicated relationships with food, etc. but this is by far the best written and most affecting I've encountered - it is such a personal thing to find a memoir that speaks to you, and I'm sure there are many people for whom Wix's experience will not feel familiar at all, but for me it was like watching a surreal film of my life where all the exact events are slightly different but the feelings, the confusion, the deep inner thoughts are all the same.
Using her first name seems too intimate, and yet I can no longer think of the author as simply 'a comedian called Katy Wix'. The generosity with which she allows the listener (or reader) to walk through her darkest experiences is overwhelming, and yet she keeps enough of a boundary that you don't feel like a voyeur spying on her vulnerability... She keeps you safe throughout. Holding the space with the expertise of a profoundly talented comedic storyteller, and deeply empathetic human being. The book feels like the bones of humanity, freely shared, without arrogance or self pity. She does not claim to have answers, but offers her story up nonetheless, perhaps as a form of self-care, or atonement, or to help others who are on a similar path.
I adore the privacy that Wix keeps at various moments in the book - allowing herself to still have an inner world that we, the readers, can't be privy to.
Whatever reason she had for writing the book isn't mine to know - but I am ever so grateful that she did.
I've read a lot of memoirs about grief, womanhood, complicated relationships with food, etc. but this is by far the best written and most affecting I've encountered - it is such a personal thing to find a memoir that speaks to you, and I'm sure there are many people for whom Wix's experience will not feel familiar at all, but for me it was like watching a surreal film of my life where all the exact events are slightly different but the feelings, the confusion, the deep inner thoughts are all the same.
Using her first name seems too intimate, and yet I can no longer think of the author as simply 'a comedian called Katy Wix'. The generosity with which she allows the listener (or reader) to walk through her darkest experiences is overwhelming, and yet she keeps enough of a boundary that you don't feel like a voyeur spying on her vulnerability... She keeps you safe throughout. Holding the space with the expertise of a profoundly talented comedic storyteller, and deeply empathetic human being. The book feels like the bones of humanity, freely shared, without arrogance or self pity. She does not claim to have answers, but offers her story up nonetheless, perhaps as a form of self-care, or atonement, or to help others who are on a similar path.
I adore the privacy that Wix keeps at various moments in the book - allowing herself to still have an inner world that we, the readers, can't be privy to.
Whatever reason she had for writing the book isn't mine to know - but I am ever so grateful that she did.
May 26, 2022
Quite an unusually written book really. I probably got into it about half way through, when it became more focused on loss and grief and I found this very relatable, resulting in a few tears in the last couple of chapters!
Overall a good book, honest, awkward, raw, relatable but ending with a sense of hope.
Overall a good book, honest, awkward, raw, relatable but ending with a sense of hope.
July 4, 2022
So many conflicting feelings about this book. It made me laugh, made me cry, annoyed me, made me roll my eyes! Depressed me. Is it self indulgent? Yes, but it IS a memoir..the last segment was the saving grace for me, very insightful and finally helpful for anyone experiencing grief and depression.
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