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One Day I'll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman: A Mother's Story
A fiery, heartbreaking memoir that follows one New Hampshire family over the course of three years, unspooling a riveting story of gender identity, class, trans youth, and a child caught in the riptide of America’s culture wars
Abi Maxwell grew up in rural New Hampshire, one of eight kids in a poor town abutting a wealthier lakeside village. Maxwell moved away, but once she married and became pregnant, she knew she wanted to raise her child near the mountains and lake of her youth. When her six-year-old, who was known to the world as a boy, asked to wear pink sneakers, asked to be a witch for Halloween, asked to wear a girl’s dance costume, Maxwell worried about how their small community would react. But when that child changed her name, grew her hair long, and announced that she is a girl, a firestorm descended upon her family.
Weaving together the story of her own youth—marked by long afternoons skiing the mountains, a cottage on the lake, and a proud gay brother, but also by neglect and bullying that pushed her brother to the brink—Abi Maxwell contends with the rural America where she was raised and, years later, where she is now raising her daughter, as lawmakers nationwide push to erase the very existence of trans youth. Intimate and stirring, One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman is essential reading for this moment in our history.
Abi Maxwell grew up in rural New Hampshire, one of eight kids in a poor town abutting a wealthier lakeside village. Maxwell moved away, but once she married and became pregnant, she knew she wanted to raise her child near the mountains and lake of her youth. When her six-year-old, who was known to the world as a boy, asked to wear pink sneakers, asked to be a witch for Halloween, asked to wear a girl’s dance costume, Maxwell worried about how their small community would react. But when that child changed her name, grew her hair long, and announced that she is a girl, a firestorm descended upon her family.
Weaving together the story of her own youth—marked by long afternoons skiing the mountains, a cottage on the lake, and a proud gay brother, but also by neglect and bullying that pushed her brother to the brink—Abi Maxwell contends with the rural America where she was raised and, years later, where she is now raising her daughter, as lawmakers nationwide push to erase the very existence of trans youth. Intimate and stirring, One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman is essential reading for this moment in our history.
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First published September 17, 2024
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About the author
Abi Maxwell
5 books59 followersABI MAXWELL is the author of the novels Lake People and The Den. After graduating from the writing program at the University of Montana, she spent many years working in public libraries, and she now works as a high school librarian. She is a dedicated advocate for the rights of transgender youth in her state and frequently testifies in front of the legislature on their behalf.
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November 4, 2024
Choosing to have a child is rolling the dice. There are so many things that can go wrong with a pregnancy, or waylay a young person. Most begin with hopes and dreams and imaginings for glorious and fulfilling times, for children who reach for the stars and shine brightly. And then....life happens.
This memoir introduces us to Abi and her daughter, Greta. Born a biological boy, Greta's initial challenge is one of being on the autism spectrum, and later becomes one of making the transition to identifying as female, driven by her inner self; a self that has cried out for expression and recognition from her earliest years.
This kind of journey is not easy for child or parent, and Maxwell gives us a play-by-play of how rough that can be. From the confusion of not understanding, to the attempts to persuade in a different direction, to the denial and boundary-setting, to gradual understanding and acceptance, and finally to fierce advocacy on behalf of a young person being marginalized and mistreated. This was mama bear all the way, once Maxwell understood what her daughter needed to be happy and feel like she had a place in the world.
Having worked in the school system within special education, the battles with schools was a familiar one. I could feel her frustration and she reminded me of many I've known who fight for what they feel their child needs, pitted against not only bureaucratic layers, but local laws and other parents who see things differently. It can be a lonely struggle, and a demoralizing one. Maxwell captures that well. She captures both sides of the arguments that ensue around things like team sports and bathroom and locker room challenges; she being on one side of those arguments while facing those on the other side at school board meetings.
As I listened to this on audio, I was reminded of a young boy I'd known many years ago who today would likely be identified as trans. He wore t-shirts as pretend hair, wanted girl parts in plays, and wanted to be called a female name in place of his own. The intensity of his insistence and abject misery when denied what he sought will always be remembered. His world must have been so fraught with disappointment and pain, as this was before transgender was a "thing", as in not identified in a way he might have been better supported.
My wish is this kind of book would help bridge the gap between those who live this daily and those who "don't get it". At the very least, we can work on acceptance and compassion even if we can never fully understand the experience of those who can be nothing else but who they feel themselves to be.
This memoir introduces us to Abi and her daughter, Greta. Born a biological boy, Greta's initial challenge is one of being on the autism spectrum, and later becomes one of making the transition to identifying as female, driven by her inner self; a self that has cried out for expression and recognition from her earliest years.
This kind of journey is not easy for child or parent, and Maxwell gives us a play-by-play of how rough that can be. From the confusion of not understanding, to the attempts to persuade in a different direction, to the denial and boundary-setting, to gradual understanding and acceptance, and finally to fierce advocacy on behalf of a young person being marginalized and mistreated. This was mama bear all the way, once Maxwell understood what her daughter needed to be happy and feel like she had a place in the world.
Having worked in the school system within special education, the battles with schools was a familiar one. I could feel her frustration and she reminded me of many I've known who fight for what they feel their child needs, pitted against not only bureaucratic layers, but local laws and other parents who see things differently. It can be a lonely struggle, and a demoralizing one. Maxwell captures that well. She captures both sides of the arguments that ensue around things like team sports and bathroom and locker room challenges; she being on one side of those arguments while facing those on the other side at school board meetings.
As I listened to this on audio, I was reminded of a young boy I'd known many years ago who today would likely be identified as trans. He wore t-shirts as pretend hair, wanted girl parts in plays, and wanted to be called a female name in place of his own. The intensity of his insistence and abject misery when denied what he sought will always be remembered. His world must have been so fraught with disappointment and pain, as this was before transgender was a "thing", as in not identified in a way he might have been better supported.
My wish is this kind of book would help bridge the gap between those who live this daily and those who "don't get it". At the very least, we can work on acceptance and compassion even if we can never fully understand the experience of those who can be nothing else but who they feel themselves to be.
September 16, 2024
First, a huge thank you to @aaknopf @penguinrandomhouse and author @abimaxwelloneday for this gifted book.
Publication date is 9/17/24
"It [a survey] asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. I'd always figured she'd say a scientist or a video game developer. But here she'd written her answer: a woman." ❤️
This memoir is a deeply moving account of a mother navigating the complexities of raising her transgender daughter, Greta, in a conservative New Hampshire town. Maxwell opens up about her conflicting emotions - oscillating between feeling confident in supporting her child and moments of doubt in the face of societal pressure early on.
The narrative captures the intimate struggles Maxwell and her family face, especially as they contend with a community and lawmakers attempting to erase the existence of trans youth. As she reflects on her upbringing in rural New Hampshire, where her gay brother faced severe bullying, she fears similar rejection for Greta. The fear becomes a reality when their neighbors and school board lobby for policies that could harm Greta's well-being.
One of the book's powerful themes is the tension between public and private acceptance of Greta's identity. Maxwell portrays the heartbreak of having to reassure her daughter that everything would be fine, while knowing the painful reality of what it takes to protect her in a world that is often unkind to trans children. Despite these challenges, Greta's resilience, the support from her own family, and the eventual victories like Greta's legal name change provide moments of joy.
Maxwell's candid prose sheds light on the strain that societal rejection places on her family and her marriage, while exploring her own emotional journey as a mother, caregiver, and advocate. The memoir is not just a story of a transgender child, but also of a parent reckoning with her own limitations, fears, and love for her daughter.
This memoir is essential reading for anyone seeking an honest exploration of transgender rights and parenting amid cultural upheaval.
Publication date is 9/17/24
"It [a survey] asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. I'd always figured she'd say a scientist or a video game developer. But here she'd written her answer: a woman." ❤️
This memoir is a deeply moving account of a mother navigating the complexities of raising her transgender daughter, Greta, in a conservative New Hampshire town. Maxwell opens up about her conflicting emotions - oscillating between feeling confident in supporting her child and moments of doubt in the face of societal pressure early on.
The narrative captures the intimate struggles Maxwell and her family face, especially as they contend with a community and lawmakers attempting to erase the existence of trans youth. As she reflects on her upbringing in rural New Hampshire, where her gay brother faced severe bullying, she fears similar rejection for Greta. The fear becomes a reality when their neighbors and school board lobby for policies that could harm Greta's well-being.
One of the book's powerful themes is the tension between public and private acceptance of Greta's identity. Maxwell portrays the heartbreak of having to reassure her daughter that everything would be fine, while knowing the painful reality of what it takes to protect her in a world that is often unkind to trans children. Despite these challenges, Greta's resilience, the support from her own family, and the eventual victories like Greta's legal name change provide moments of joy.
Maxwell's candid prose sheds light on the strain that societal rejection places on her family and her marriage, while exploring her own emotional journey as a mother, caregiver, and advocate. The memoir is not just a story of a transgender child, but also of a parent reckoning with her own limitations, fears, and love for her daughter.
This memoir is essential reading for anyone seeking an honest exploration of transgender rights and parenting amid cultural upheaval.
December 6, 2025
One small note before the review: if you don’t see transgender women as women or even as people, please see yourself out. I have no time for hate and I won’t waste a single second on you. See you never.
Thank you so much to Vintage Books for gifting a physical copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This subject matter is near and dear to me. This was an emotional read as I knew it would be. I didn’t know that the emotion would be anger rather than sadness.Abi Maxwell went through the wringer trying to get her kid support for her autism. Unfortunately, this is a landscape I know well. What surprised me was the ineffective and infuriating conversations with school administrations when trying to get support and testing were carbon copies of my own. Despite the fact that we live across the country from each other, it was almost word for word the same roundabout discussions in which nothing happens. Your child needs something to help them thrive and you can’t get it for them. I felt a kinship with Abi Maxwell and her struggle for her child.
But next is where our stories diverge. Abi states over and over again that her daughter was trying to communicate to them that she was a girl, and she and her husband were just not able to understand her. The truth is, her kid was clear as day stating she was unequivocally a girl. Her mom just didn’t want to hear her. She wanted to be afraid, and hide behind the strangeness of it by ignoring it. She subjected her young (6 year old) daughter to half steps and barely there acceptance until it came crashing down in a humiliating event that will likely stay with her daughter for her entire life. While she does redeem herself later by becoming a staunch advocate for her daughter, especially in the face of a community that does not and will not accept her and her family, it’s enraging to read someone willfully not get the point. Realizing that the events discussed took place just a year or two before the pandemic makes it worse. There was no shortage of information and resources available at that time. I could not reconcile her words with her actions for most of the book.
The benefit of hindsight is the ability to see where you’d make different decisions to a better outcome. I am not sure what happened here. I wanted it to. I wanted to love this book and find another parent fighting the good fight for our transgender kids. But even to the very last page, when her daughter asks why it took so long to let her transition, she STILL can’t be honest with her. Yes, she was ignorant and afraid, but she refused to admit the real truth. It was because she didn’t trust that her daughter was right and she was sorry that she didn’t believe her.
Thank you so much to Vintage Books for gifting a physical copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This subject matter is near and dear to me. This was an emotional read as I knew it would be. I didn’t know that the emotion would be anger rather than sadness.Abi Maxwell went through the wringer trying to get her kid support for her autism. Unfortunately, this is a landscape I know well. What surprised me was the ineffective and infuriating conversations with school administrations when trying to get support and testing were carbon copies of my own. Despite the fact that we live across the country from each other, it was almost word for word the same roundabout discussions in which nothing happens. Your child needs something to help them thrive and you can’t get it for them. I felt a kinship with Abi Maxwell and her struggle for her child.
But next is where our stories diverge. Abi states over and over again that her daughter was trying to communicate to them that she was a girl, and she and her husband were just not able to understand her. The truth is, her kid was clear as day stating she was unequivocally a girl. Her mom just didn’t want to hear her. She wanted to be afraid, and hide behind the strangeness of it by ignoring it. She subjected her young (6 year old) daughter to half steps and barely there acceptance until it came crashing down in a humiliating event that will likely stay with her daughter for her entire life. While she does redeem herself later by becoming a staunch advocate for her daughter, especially in the face of a community that does not and will not accept her and her family, it’s enraging to read someone willfully not get the point. Realizing that the events discussed took place just a year or two before the pandemic makes it worse. There was no shortage of information and resources available at that time. I could not reconcile her words with her actions for most of the book.
The benefit of hindsight is the ability to see where you’d make different decisions to a better outcome. I am not sure what happened here. I wanted it to. I wanted to love this book and find another parent fighting the good fight for our transgender kids. But even to the very last page, when her daughter asks why it took so long to let her transition, she STILL can’t be honest with her. Yes, she was ignorant and afraid, but she refused to admit the real truth. It was because she didn’t trust that her daughter was right and she was sorry that she didn’t believe her.
October 4, 2024
I want to start my brief review with a disclaimer that as an employee of a nonpartisan state government agency, I cannot speak publicly on my views of the laws of our state and positions of our lawmakers.
I am writing this review simply as a parent. My child is 2 years old, too young for us to know much yet about exactly how he was made, his dreams and ambitions, his deepest desires. But regardless of what he learns about himself in the years to come, no matter who he is, his dad and I want to show the kind of fierce support and advocacy that Abi Maxwell and her husband have demonstrated on behalf of their daughter Greta, who is transgender. I cannot fathom the trauma this family and countless others have endured, the instability they have experienced to have to uproot their lives and move because they are not being supported and protected and embraced by their communities. It sickens me. As a mom, I was internally ugly crying all throughout this book, wanting to hug Greta and tell her, you matter.
The book itself, the writing and the way Abi presents her story, is beautifully done. She's an awesome writer and now I'm curious about her fiction as well. I don't know if she will ever see this review, but I want to thank her for sharing her family's story, particularly Greta's story.
I received a finished copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.
I am writing this review simply as a parent. My child is 2 years old, too young for us to know much yet about exactly how he was made, his dreams and ambitions, his deepest desires. But regardless of what he learns about himself in the years to come, no matter who he is, his dad and I want to show the kind of fierce support and advocacy that Abi Maxwell and her husband have demonstrated on behalf of their daughter Greta, who is transgender. I cannot fathom the trauma this family and countless others have endured, the instability they have experienced to have to uproot their lives and move because they are not being supported and protected and embraced by their communities. It sickens me. As a mom, I was internally ugly crying all throughout this book, wanting to hug Greta and tell her, you matter.
The book itself, the writing and the way Abi presents her story, is beautifully done. She's an awesome writer and now I'm curious about her fiction as well. I don't know if she will ever see this review, but I want to thank her for sharing her family's story, particularly Greta's story.
I received a finished copy of this book through a Goodreads giveaway in exchange for an honest review.
September 20, 2024
Nonfiction memoir about a mother raising her autistic, transgender daughter and the New Hampshire town that puts their family through hell. It’s harrowing and heartbreaking, a survival guide (barely? hopefully?) about weathering the eye of the current political storm.
I’m always looking for books I can recommend to well-meaning people who want to see past the transphobic headlines, and this one goes on the list. (Well-meaning people, as opposed to those who want to remain comfortably safe in their bigotry. Indeed, one of the most frustrating, infuriating parts of Maxwell’s story are those who just want to seem nice at all costs, so they can feel like good people, regardless of the consequences of either their hateful actions or their silence.)
Trans rights are human rights, and to learn more or take action, I can personally vouch that The Campaign for Southern Equality is doing good work here in the south. On a national or global level, try Advocates for Trans Equality or TGEU.
ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I’m always looking for books I can recommend to well-meaning people who want to see past the transphobic headlines, and this one goes on the list. (Well-meaning people, as opposed to those who want to remain comfortably safe in their bigotry. Indeed, one of the most frustrating, infuriating parts of Maxwell’s story are those who just want to seem nice at all costs, so they can feel like good people, regardless of the consequences of either their hateful actions or their silence.)
Trans rights are human rights, and to learn more or take action, I can personally vouch that The Campaign for Southern Equality is doing good work here in the south. On a national or global level, try Advocates for Trans Equality or TGEU.
ARC kindly provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
February 1, 2025
a tough but really important read. made me think of my own conservative new england hometown and how much resistance i and my LGBTQ+ peers (particularly trans people) faced in simply existing growing up. it was hard at times to confront maxwell’s vulnerability and honesty in sharing her shortcomings and biases around raising a trans daughter, but also was a fierce portrayal of her pain, joy, hope, and heartbreak as she fights for her daughter’s right to safely be herself in a place that is unwilling to protect her.
March 11, 2025
A powerful story of the importance of exploring and respecting differences. This vulnerable memoir provides insight to the extreme distress that can come from being or loving someone that is different due to some aspect of their identity and the hell it can be to get them the help and resources they deserve. We need to stick together and speak up, especially during the current horrid political climate that is 2025 which is bringing out so many forms of hatred
September 16, 2024
This is a beautiful and heartbreaking memoir by a mother about their family’s journey with her transgender daughter, Greta. It’s a really important and relevant book in today’s sociopolitical environment.
Navigating a prejudiced and unjust system in her small town, the author details both the heartbreaking experiences and also the small victories that become so big in light of everything happening in our country today. As a mother myself, Abi’s story really resonated with me. It is heartbreaking to read about their struggle for their daughter to simply have the same rights as other children.
This is a must read. It is a raw, emotional, detailed, and beautiful true story of a family’s fight to allow their young daughter to live her truth. Greta and her family are inspirational, especially in light of the dangerous and prejudiced laws and ideas that are widespread in our country today.
Big thanks to NetGalley and Knopf Publishing for the gifted ARC!
Navigating a prejudiced and unjust system in her small town, the author details both the heartbreaking experiences and also the small victories that become so big in light of everything happening in our country today. As a mother myself, Abi’s story really resonated with me. It is heartbreaking to read about their struggle for their daughter to simply have the same rights as other children.
This is a must read. It is a raw, emotional, detailed, and beautiful true story of a family’s fight to allow their young daughter to live her truth. Greta and her family are inspirational, especially in light of the dangerous and prejudiced laws and ideas that are widespread in our country today.
Big thanks to NetGalley and Knopf Publishing for the gifted ARC!
November 22, 2024
WOOF.
I've been making a point of reading memoirs of people who will be actively impacted by the foreseeable changes to our cultural acceptance, policy proposals and the overall shift in public attitudes in the wake of the 2024 election.
This memoir is a mother's story of seeing, accepting and ultimately fighting for and uprooting her life in a quest for acceptance of her daughter's transgender identity. Despite being a progressive person who counts transgender people as friends and who has friends with transgender children, I had never read a memoir from the perspective of a parent.
This story will open hearts and with any luck, a few minds. All it takes is a willingness to learn.
I've been making a point of reading memoirs of people who will be actively impacted by the foreseeable changes to our cultural acceptance, policy proposals and the overall shift in public attitudes in the wake of the 2024 election.
This memoir is a mother's story of seeing, accepting and ultimately fighting for and uprooting her life in a quest for acceptance of her daughter's transgender identity. Despite being a progressive person who counts transgender people as friends and who has friends with transgender children, I had never read a memoir from the perspective of a parent.
This story will open hearts and with any luck, a few minds. All it takes is a willingness to learn.
January 11, 2025
This novel was beautiful and painful and honest and introspective and one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read. Author Abi Maxwell recounts her daughter’s childhood and the fallout that occurs after she tries to get trans rights codified in her conservative New Hampshire town.
The story starts from Abi’s POV and her early memories of her daughter Greta expressing her love for the color pink and dresses and girly things. Abi is concerned because she doesn’t want Greta to be bullied by children and adults alike and she realizes the community where she lives will push Greta (at that time male identifying) into strict gender norms. Slowly Greta begins to express her identity as a girl and pleads with Abi to let her express her true self. What follows is the journey and trials of one family supporting their child into owning their identity and who they are, despite pushback, criticism, and bigotry from their community.
It really struck me how honest Maxwell is in her book, how truly terrified she was for her child, as trans kids have a 50% risk of committing suicide prior to adulthood. FIFTY PERCENT PEOPLE!!! I couldn’t believe the vignettes Maxwell described of members of her community trying to claim their goodness while also attempting to ban her young daughter from using the bathroom she identifies with. It really opened my eyes to the fear and small-mindedness of people in this country. The author’s writing was so rich and descriptive, I could feel her anxiety and I felt her outrage when she described instances of begging her daughter’s school over and over again to protect her child from bullying.
I consider myself well informed to the state of trans right in the US, but this opened my eyes beyond anything I could have imagined. This book makes me want to scream and cry and fight against all the bigots and homophobes in this country that criminalize children (and adults) for just wanting to be accepted for who they are. I passionately believe that anyone reading this (ESPECIALLY if you love memoirs) should give this book a try. Thank you Abi Maxwell for sharing your story and standing up for trans rights.
The story starts from Abi’s POV and her early memories of her daughter Greta expressing her love for the color pink and dresses and girly things. Abi is concerned because she doesn’t want Greta to be bullied by children and adults alike and she realizes the community where she lives will push Greta (at that time male identifying) into strict gender norms. Slowly Greta begins to express her identity as a girl and pleads with Abi to let her express her true self. What follows is the journey and trials of one family supporting their child into owning their identity and who they are, despite pushback, criticism, and bigotry from their community.
It really struck me how honest Maxwell is in her book, how truly terrified she was for her child, as trans kids have a 50% risk of committing suicide prior to adulthood. FIFTY PERCENT PEOPLE!!! I couldn’t believe the vignettes Maxwell described of members of her community trying to claim their goodness while also attempting to ban her young daughter from using the bathroom she identifies with. It really opened my eyes to the fear and small-mindedness of people in this country. The author’s writing was so rich and descriptive, I could feel her anxiety and I felt her outrage when she described instances of begging her daughter’s school over and over again to protect her child from bullying.
I consider myself well informed to the state of trans right in the US, but this opened my eyes beyond anything I could have imagined. This book makes me want to scream and cry and fight against all the bigots and homophobes in this country that criminalize children (and adults) for just wanting to be accepted for who they are. I passionately believe that anyone reading this (ESPECIALLY if you love memoirs) should give this book a try. Thank you Abi Maxwell for sharing your story and standing up for trans rights.
February 7, 2025
This memoir is vulnerable and beautiful in all the ways my soul needed in the early days of 2025. More than anything, this is a book about a mother’s love for her daughter. It was beautiful and I hope more people will read it.
Thank you to the publisher for my copy.
Thank you to the publisher for my copy.
June 4, 2025
When I started this book, I told myself I was just going to read a bit and go to sleep. 3 hours later, I think this is one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read, and definitely one of the best books I’ve read all year. Cried at the end. thank you to Carolyn for lending 🩷
March 10, 2025
screaming crying throwing up at this book. read this in 2.5 sittings and felt gut punched. so sad this happened anywhere, and for a long time I thought all of new england was some awesome haven but I know this isn’t true. I’ve recently heard so much more about small town new hampshire culture (thanks flannery!) so I guess I’m not as shocked this happened in new hampshire as I might otherwise have been but still :( I feel like this hit harder since it was so close to me. I liked/connected/cried more to the beginning but I liked it all. her love and desperation for greta in some ways made me feel sick the way beautiful boy by david sheff does
this book reminded me of the song irish goodbye by sammy copley
this book reminded me of the song irish goodbye by sammy copley
September 30, 2024
4.5 stars
A mama's love is fierce and don't anyone even dare think about coming between a mama and her baby. Abi Maxwell was the perfect mom to defend and advocate for her daughter, Greta, while she navigated the challenging world around gender identity, discriminatory laws, and closeminded school boards and towns. Shunned at every turn, the family had to pull together to fight for the rights their daughter deserved.
Living in a overwhelingly conservative area, Maxwell's family were basically founders of the town she loved. She wanted to return there to raise her daughter, but when Greta wanted to transition to a girl, the town quickly turned their backs on the Maxwell's. At school board meetings, they demanded that the superintendent stop using the word "transgender", refuse Greta's ability to use the girl's bathroom, and refuse her participation in sports.
Still hot topics around the country today, this is a timely book for trans-rights activism. Maxwell writes with such passion and clarity that, even if you haven't personally been touched by this issue, you can easily empathize with the discrimination and pain that exclusion instills in a person. Greta is a strong-willed girl, but as Maxwell points out, transgender children have a 50% increase in risk of suicide. I kept thinking that these kids feel like they are hated, despised, and not wanted; therefore, it's essential reading for all of us so we can provide safety and inclusion to ALL children.
A mama's love is fierce and don't anyone even dare think about coming between a mama and her baby. Abi Maxwell was the perfect mom to defend and advocate for her daughter, Greta, while she navigated the challenging world around gender identity, discriminatory laws, and closeminded school boards and towns. Shunned at every turn, the family had to pull together to fight for the rights their daughter deserved.
Living in a overwhelingly conservative area, Maxwell's family were basically founders of the town she loved. She wanted to return there to raise her daughter, but when Greta wanted to transition to a girl, the town quickly turned their backs on the Maxwell's. At school board meetings, they demanded that the superintendent stop using the word "transgender", refuse Greta's ability to use the girl's bathroom, and refuse her participation in sports.
Still hot topics around the country today, this is a timely book for trans-rights activism. Maxwell writes with such passion and clarity that, even if you haven't personally been touched by this issue, you can easily empathize with the discrimination and pain that exclusion instills in a person. Greta is a strong-willed girl, but as Maxwell points out, transgender children have a 50% increase in risk of suicide. I kept thinking that these kids feel like they are hated, despised, and not wanted; therefore, it's essential reading for all of us so we can provide safety and inclusion to ALL children.
January 17, 2025
Well this was harrowing. Maxwell describes in detail advocating for her transgender daughter in New Hampshire. Her own neighbors fight her. It's terrible! I read this shortly after the election, seeing Trump's cruel ads.
I'd like to think there would be a happy ending to this story but I don't think so in the short term. Ugh.
I'd like to think there would be a happy ending to this story but I don't think so in the short term. Ugh.
July 17, 2024
This was a very caring and loving book from Mother to child. It was so definitely heart-wrenching to read Greta’s story. I felt for her and the family at every page turn. The evolution of the parents and extended family was raw but real. This is a great book to give to trans families to see they are not alone and to keep on fighting for those needed rights and acceptance.
March 22, 2025
A beautiful memoir from the mother of a daughter who knew she was transgender since she was a small toddler, and eventually socially transitioned at 6 years old. Not for the faint of heart - this book made me so incredibly angry about the hardship her family faced due to bigoted grown adults who wanted to destroy the life of an innocent child. Greta is so lucky to have a mother like Abi who has spent years supporting her and advocating for the rights of trans youth - something that is more important today than ever before. And Greta is incredibly brave for recognizing exactly who she is at such a young age and persevering through it, despite daily bullying and all statistics on trans youth stacked against her.
There are so many people who should read this book who unfortunately will never put in the work to educate themselves.
There are so many people who should read this book who unfortunately will never put in the work to educate themselves.
January 14, 2026
I found this book extremely moving and often dreaded picking it up for fear of being reminded of my own very difficult school years as a queer child. Abi Maxwell’s memoir reckons with her own privilege and ignorance as a mother in denial of her trans daughter’s identity in a way that I haven’t seen before. I’m grateful that parents like this exist and that they’re telling their stories. The ignorance surrounding, and fear of, trans people has profound consequences, not only for trans children and adults, but for families, communities, and our nation.
Instead of railing against the unfamiliar, I wish people could take a moment and face that their ignorance around trangender identity was very carefully fashioned and insisted upon by forces that wanted to keep them uninformed, afraid, and controllable. It’s my opinion that that is where they should be focusing their rancor.
Instead of railing against the unfamiliar, I wish people could take a moment and face that their ignorance around trangender identity was very carefully fashioned and insisted upon by forces that wanted to keep them uninformed, afraid, and controllable. It’s my opinion that that is where they should be focusing their rancor.
February 2, 2025
Unbelievable courage to share these thoughts and experiences. As the parent of a transgender child, it is impossible not to be enthralled by these words. But I hope that this book finds its way into the hands of all parents, to all caring people who might recognize the enormity of this gift - the profound insight into just how much words and actions matter. How each of us needs to take as many small moments as possible to stand up and speak. To speak against cruelty, ignorance, and apathy. To realize that we are all better together, and that together only comes from equal acceptance, not separate spaces.
March 20, 2025
I am so grateful to Abi Maxwell for writing this book, and I truly think this book (as well as books by trans authors!!) should be required reading in 2025.
Every child - let alone trans child - deserves parents as loving and relentless as Abi and Paul. They remind me of the best people I know. Every child also deserves to grow up in a community that supports and affirms them. Greta, a kid who knows herself better than anyone else, and all her peers deserve to thrive.
It’s our jobs to educate ourselves and it’s our jobs to fight on their behalf so they and their families don’t have to carry that burden.
Every child - let alone trans child - deserves parents as loving and relentless as Abi and Paul. They remind me of the best people I know. Every child also deserves to grow up in a community that supports and affirms them. Greta, a kid who knows herself better than anyone else, and all her peers deserve to thrive.
It’s our jobs to educate ourselves and it’s our jobs to fight on their behalf so they and their families don’t have to carry that burden.
November 13, 2025
I will be thinking about this book…forever.
We know the U.S just loves to protect children (sarcasm)🙄
I teared up so many times while reading this. For Greta, for Abi, her husband, her brother and any other transgender child/person who went through anything remotely similar. One of those books that educates extremely well while also being enjoyable to read (which sounds weird to say). I encourage everyone to read this book.
We know the U.S just loves to protect children (sarcasm)🙄
I teared up so many times while reading this. For Greta, for Abi, her husband, her brother and any other transgender child/person who went through anything remotely similar. One of those books that educates extremely well while also being enjoyable to read (which sounds weird to say). I encourage everyone to read this book.
April 4, 2025
I will admit I was a little hesitant to read a memoir of the mom of a trans girl, scared of what the mom would say about her daughter. I am glad I was surprised when I opened the books and truly was not prepared for how eye opening book this was. Such a good book and would 100% recommend this. Shocked at how recent it is.
November 23, 2024
I am thankful this book was written. This book was affecting. It is so important.
February 13, 2025
I cannot stress this enough — READ THIS FUCKING BOOK. I laughed. I cried. I felt pure magic at how simply incredible Greta is. And protect trans kids!!!!!!!!!
June 24, 2025
Hey so maybe don’t be a bigot!!!!
July 8, 2025
Such an important read. While this book had me seething with anger at times, by the end - it felt like joy won. Listening to what her daughter and these parents went through was heartbreaking but they never gave up. Even now when the world is going to literal shit (SOS 🇺🇸) - you can never crush the joy and hope of someone being so authentically themselves.
Trans 🏳️⚧️ joy will always be beautiful.
Trans 🏳️⚧️ joy will always be beautiful.
April 16, 2025
Hi just me coming up for air after sobbing through this book. Our country is so ugly right now, and it is a scary place for trans people, especially trans youth. This book was a raw and vulnerable look at what that ACTUALLY means.
To love your home and your state so much, but being forced to choose between where you live and human rights. It’s a beautiful and heartbreaking look at what it’s like being a parent with a trans child, the resiliency of children and the profound feeling of self Greta had from a young age.
Highly recommend!!! But keep the tissues nearby 🤍
To love your home and your state so much, but being forced to choose between where you live and human rights. It’s a beautiful and heartbreaking look at what it’s like being a parent with a trans child, the resiliency of children and the profound feeling of self Greta had from a young age.
Highly recommend!!! But keep the tissues nearby 🤍
September 17, 2025
so good and enlightening and saddening and hopeful at the same time! please read this book!!
January 30, 2025
It felt rushed and messy but at the same time redundant. Other than all the things brought up and not really explained, and the abrupt ending, it was an okay read. Definitely a good book to read if you have no idea what people in the trans community go through. I hope the author's daughter and family are doing okay right now.
July 5, 2024
Thank you NetGalley,publisher Knof,and author,Abi Maxwell for the opportunity to read the ebook,One Day I’ll Grow Up and Be a Beautiful Woman.It was an eye opener subject for me,not because I was not aware of all the difficulties that transgender people face,especially the younger ones with schooling rules and regulations that are blown out of proportion by narrow minded uneducated adults. I was particularly surprised that this story took place mainly in New Hampshire and not some other state always thinking those living there were more kind and understanding.The tragedy is the effect that the efforts of the family go through to protect their young child from others ,in and out of school, from bullying and gossip that is so very hurtful.It takes a toll on marriages,health,both physically and mentally,their jobs and need of money for getting help required for their child.State laws keep floundering up and back for transgender help which is so unsettling for all those involved.
Book goes on sale September 17,2024.
Book goes on sale September 17,2024.
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