One of the most useful guides to boosting your self-esteem!
Your self-esteem affects every part of your the choices you make, your relationships, your creativity, even your physical health. Low self-esteem greatly interferes with your ability to achieve satisfaction and accomplish goals. In this wise, warm, and practical program, Dr. Sorensen illuminates the actual inner experience of the struggle with self-doubt. Better still, Sorensen helps you improve your view of yourself—a process to free you from harmful behaviors and reactions. Along a journey of personal transformation, you'll be armed with new understanding, hope, and direction.
7/9/11: I found this helpful, especially considering the sort of self-esteem "bottom" I've come to. And I don't mean that I feel worse about myself than any other time in my life. It's just that it's gotten to the point now where it's inhibiting my ability to be comfortable where I now am and to get to where I wanna go/grow... It's become almost debilitating in some situations the further "up" I've moved along my education/career trajectory, feeling less and less like I am really worthy of being one of "these" people. SO, it was helpful, even though some of the exercises are uncomfortable and will have to be spaced out over the next few months, but I did have to get to this point to read it. I tried reading this early on, maybe 5 years ago when my former therapist first recommended it and I got like two chapters in before I quit. And some of the notes I wrote at that time were downright hostile. I even had this on my "Probably Never Gonna Read It" shelf until last month. Guess there's something to be said for the student being ready before trying to teach her...
6/4/11: Yep, it's gotten this bad and something's gotta give.
Their book is complicated. It has some good and important concepts that I learned - but it is VERY poorly written and organized. It’s a HARD read.
It describes low self esteem at the root of all mental health issues - I don’t believe that, but I do believe low self esteem is a rampant issue in our society. It’s worth the read to help starting to reestablish yourself as a valid and normal person. To start recognizing bad thought patterns and to start correcting them. To make positive changes in your life so that you can be stronger in who you are.
Take away what’s useful to you from this book and remember it’s not giving you permission to be a completely self centered douchebag. It’s trying to help you decide what is mentally healthy for you and what you feel needs to change.
To me, this book did not offer strong methods to work on making relationships more healthy, but it’s a starting point to diagnose problems. Continued recommended reading would be Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. That book offers constructive ways to help work on yourself and your relationships.
I still can't believe I had been groping in the dark without knowing any of the issues involved in low self-esteem. I've always considered myself as having healthy, if not high, self-esteem, always believing that I deserved better than what I got.
According to the book, however, I have mild low self-esteem. Looking back at some of my recurrent negative thought patterns and specific episodes in my relationships, I couldn't help but nod in utter agreement.
This book is a lot more organized, focused, and informative than her Low Self-Esteem in the Bedroom. Although the same criticism I leveled there applies here about the lack of scientific evidence and studies cited, I would have to admit that every page illuminated a whole cluster of memories from my past relationships and periods when I suffered mild forms of self-esteem attack.
This is a great book about exactly the things you need to know about yourself that you most likely and unfortunately don't know about.
You'll realize that so many problems, if not ALL of them, stem from instances of low self-esteem. The world makes more sense now; the roller coaster rides you had in your past relationships make more sense now; the unhappiness you are experiencing, whether by yourself on in the company of others make sense now.
If you are an overachiever or underachiever, if you swing between feelings of superiority and inferiority toward others, if you have a difficulty trusting people and relating to them, if you often see yourself in a negative light, if you blow up after tanking up frustration and anger, if you feel insecure about your relationships and feel the need to constantly test your partner, READ THIS and I tell thee what the wise man said 2400 years ago: KNOW THYSELF.
Pick this book up before your in a crisis. If your in one or on your way out of one that's ok too.
What my 👂 herd 👇
Lse low self esteem Low self-esteem is believing that I am unworthy incompetent and or inadequate I feel the all too familiar word failure spoken by the voice in my head Your built-in camcorder are your eyes and brain We don't have to continue to remain captive by the chain of low self-esteem Unusual behavior I irationally worry about losing what I have achieved Making a mistake is not an indication of some deficit within you I desire I wish to melt into a puddle Don't abuse yourself with food alcohol drugs or nicotine I became rittled with apprehension Break the chain of low self-esteem that you drag around Passivity creates dishonest relationships
This book gave me the tools I needed to help myself deal with low self-esteem. I've read a few self-help books and none of them really clicked with me - they all seemed a bit 'wishy-washy' and non-scientific. The way this book described situations, feelings and reactions that I experienced myself made it really connect with me.
I do recommend getting the workbook to go with this. It's quite heavy going a lot of the time, but the workbook is almost like having a therapist; it gets you to explore your past in detail, and to work through scenarios. I didn't do the whole thing (there's a lot of it), but it was genuinely helpful.
I read the greek edition. I must say that this book is the best I've ever read regarding low self-esteem. It was well structured and based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy which I like. It has many examples and exercises/suggestions in order to improve yourself.
I share this list (and review) because we are at a point in time where nearly everyone has a poor self-image about themselves (to some degree). I put this list together from observing people over the years.
A lot of people thought that some of what I put on this list was a load of rubbish. So I decided to email it over to Marilyn J Sorensen, PhD who is regarded as the number one expert in world with it comes to self-esteem (and who wrote this great book). As I wanted to see what her thoughts where on my list..
Her words are in brackets...
The 24 MOST COMMON signs and symptoms of low self-esteem (from my best observation) include:
(I agree with all of these; just added a few words to some)
1 – Nasty sarcasm. 2 – Bullying. 3 – Not being direct in conversation, and at the same time having no tact. 4 – Indecisiveness. 5 – Thinking you know everything. (LSE and/or narcissism) 6 – Being a too much of a perfectionist. (In dress, at work, in everything, meaning if they can’t be perfect, they won’t do it) 7 – None or not much eye contact when talking to others. 8 – Being too loud and over talkative (jabbering on). (A mixture of unregulared extroversion and LSE) 9 – Sniping about other people all the time, behind their backs. (Passive-Aggressive behavior) 10 – Lack of inner-stability and calmness. (Full of anxiety) 11 – Making weak-minded excuses, all the time. (Fear and anxiety) 12 – Getting a job for the sake of it where power over others is needed e.g. being police officer. Rather than doing to job to help society for the better. 13 – Self-medicating with spending (a sign of low self-worth & over-eating, leading to eating disorders) 14 – Being generally jealous of others all the time. 15 – Constant feeling of insecurity. (Constantly comparing themselves to others) 16 – Taking the Mickey out of others for the sake of it. (If I put you down, I lift myself up..WRONG) 17 – Feeling like being judged all the time and unable to cope with small problems. 18 – Nit picking at others/destructive criticism towards others and being overly opinionated. 19 – Having an inferiority complex/always feeling small. 20 – Lack of self-liking/love. 21 – Glaring at other (more confident) people. 22 – Over consumption of alcohol. (Dope, food too) 23 – Passive aggression online (and offline). 24- Lastly, the most obvious sign of low self-esteem is sloughed “poor me” posture with forward head.
Self-esteem is very poorly understood, even by most most physiologists and self-development "gurus." For example, workaholics have LSE. A lot of people don't know this.
"Low self-esteem is actually a thinking disorder in which an individual views (thinks of) himself as inadequate, unacceptable, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent—thinking that permeates every aspect of a person’s life."
This book explains this and much, much more!
Marilyn J Sorensen also emailed me back (after I sent her my list), saying:
"Those with low self-esteem can be either underachievers or overachievers. Those who are overachievers appear to have self-confidence, but that’s just in the area in which they place all of their attention and it’s often a way to avoid interaction with others, where they feel so inadequate. In other words, if they are successful people assume they are confident; not necessarily so.”
I learned that thinking that you are worthless, unimportant, etc is something that you learn in childhood when your authority figures (one of my authority figures has always been a younger sister) ignore you etc. I'll update this later when I have the book next to my computer. I could write an essay on things I highlighted while reading the book & at least a short (few pages) paper on the notes I took while reading it the 2nd time. Right now I'm working through the workbook that kinda goes with it & rereading chapters from this book when prompted.