Running for Judge: Campaigning on the Trail of Despair, Deliverance, and Overwhelming Success

by Tim Fall

You don't often hear of elected officials who are battling mental illness. Social, professional, and political stigma are the problem, yet a quarter of our population has anxiety, depression, or both, and continue to be productive and effective on the job, in their families, and around their communities.

This is a mental health memoir even more than a memoir of a judicial election. Judges, as much as anyone else, carry huge responsibilities. Faith, family, friends, and good medical care are part of the process for addressing mental illness that threatens to interfere with those responsibilities.

If you battle mental illness or know someone who does (and you do, statistics show), others may try to convince you that mental illnesses like depression and anxiety are all in your head. Tell them "Of course, mental illness is all in your head. And a heart attack is all in your chest. Go see a doctor either way." This book will help you feel better equipped to tell them that yourself.

Genres: Nonfiction

Audible Audio

Published June 9, 2020

Reviews

[Ted Tyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not too long ago, I had the pleasure of hosting Tim Fall on my podcast. He was a charming guest and a wonderful storyteller. I came away from our conversation wanting to hear more about his life. I got the impression that we were very much cut from the same cloth. It very much held true. A fellow INTJ, who doesn't quite understand why some people want frequent hugs, but who also feels very deeply under the core.

I picked up his (very short) audiobook (which Tim reads!!) and was deeply moved by the challenges he faced running for re-election as a judge. His story paints a clear picture about the effects of anxiety, and the importance of surrounding yourself with family and friends to help you battle through hard times. I definitely came away from Tim's book with a deep respect for his wife, Liz, and his various colleagues, church friends, and community members that supported him. I also appreciate how Tim valued his faith AND pursued medical advice/lifestyle adjustments. His honesty, humility, and humor kept me engaged throughout.

[Chloe Flanagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re a professional who admits to struggling with depression, does that make you untrustworthy? Or if you’re a Christian trying to cope with anxiety, do you lack faith?

California superior court judge Tim Fall confronts these harmful questions in the most honest way possible: by sharing his own story of facing anxiety during a pivotal point in his career.

With humility, wisdom, and occasional flashes of dry humor, Fall recounts his journey through intense stress and anxiety and the valuable lessons he learned along the way. Perhaps the most prominent takeaways involve the positive impact these lessons have had on his career and the role faith and relationships played in the entire process.

This book is an encouraging read for anyone who has dealt with guilt or a sense of unworthiness because of their mental health issues. I even recommend it to readers who haven’t dealt with these things, as it promotes understanding and compassion for those who have.

[Lori Neff · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting memoir about the election process, being a professional, and mental health. Tim captures a snapshot of his life when his anxiety came on unexpectedly.

[Gretchen Baskerville · Rating 5 out of 5]

I follow Judge Tim Fall on Twitter, Facebook, and his excellent blog, “Just One Train Wreck After Another.” I’ve always been impressed by his insights, clarity and sense of humor. He has a keen way of untangling complex topics, and I’ve found myself quoting him or adopting his viewpoints on various issues. He always manages to walk a tightrope between confidence and humility. And that’s why I really enjoyed this book. I bought it because I wanted to know more about the man (which I did), but I also learned a lot about the crushing effects of anxiety and depression and mental illness on the mind and body of someone who is sharp, well-educated, and successful. It can be brutal, even it if it “situational” or “episodic” as his was.

The story starts in 2008, when Tim was challenged in an election for his job as a Superior Court Judge in Northern California. His judgeship is subject to judicial elections—though in his area, it is rare to be unseated, in part because few candidates try to oust a sitting judge with a good reputation. Despite having a solid career and being well-liked, Tim fell into anxiety, insomnia, and despair. The weight of fighting for his job dragged him down to a very low point in spite of having good friends and an astute, loving wife who walked through it with him. Running an election campaign, meeting with potential supporters and organizations, and asking for donations and support while debilitated by severe anxiety weren’t easy.

This is a compassionate book on how it feels to have anxiety, how to manage life under those circumstances, and how to be a good friend to someone who is going through it. I have several close friends/family who have struggled or are chronically afflicted with anxiety and it gave me an inside track on how to help! This is a perfect book for others who suffer, especially high-achieving professionals who struggle with anxiety or other mental illness.

[Brad Sargent · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Running for Judge* by Tim Fall is a vividly written and practical book for the 1-in-4 of us who suffer from anxiety and/or depression – to know we’re not so different and that we’re not alone. It also serves as an accessible introduction for people in our circles of support, to understand and empathize with what we’re going through.

I've navigated long periods of depression in my adult life, and have multiple family members and friends who deal with depression, anxiety, and/or panic attacks. So, I read Tim Fall’s book with questions sparked by both an insider/sufferer and outsider/supporter perspective.

• What are these afflictions, and how do they manifest in our mind, body, and relationships?
• Why do we who suffer often feel the added weight of combating “impostor syndrome”?
• What should we do when we identify an episode in ourselves or others?
• What practical responses can help lessen negative impact and heighten positive possibilities?
• How do we persevere when things don’t seem to change as quickly as hoped … don’t go as deep as desired?

These are the kinds of real-world questions Tim Fall responds to in *Running for Judge: Campaigning on the Trail of Despair, Deliverance, and Overwhelming Success* (Resource Publications, 2020). The main time frame for Tim’s self-described “mental health memoir” is the campaign to keep his seat as a Northern California Superior Court Judge. Don’t be put off by thinking it’s about an election – although getting this rare glimpse into the world of the American judiciary is fascinating. That backdrop created a situation of amplified stress that made difficulties caused by anxiety and depression more apparent. And his unusual vocation reinforces that mental health issues can affect anyone.

Tim’s engaging style SHOWS what it looks like to be weighed down by anxiety and depression. The pacing and descriptions of his remarkable writing style had me feeling his racing-pulse angst and his emotional-ambivalence sluggishness right along with him. He is so specific in detailing physical, emotional, mental elements of this that it helped me identify episodes of intense anxiety I’ve had that I hadn't labeled as such before. He also describes responses by family, friends, and co-workers to his experiences and to his mixed-result attempts to deal with symptoms and sources. I was taking notes or underlining sections on 90% of the pages!

Tim is vulnerable, real, helpful, and hopeful – the same as he is online in social media. That’s why I began following him on Facebook and Twitter a few years ago, and how I found out about his book. And these days, to review a book also involves checking out whether the author treats people with kindness and respect, or not. Tim does, no question. He is a role model of embodying the Golden Rule, and that makes it easy to want to read what he writes.

So, if you're reaching out for input on mental health concerns, for yourself or to support someone you care about, you’ll find a lot of wisdom from multiple angles in this short (120 pages), easy-to-read book. And through it, may you discover deep wells of refreshing grace along your pathway forward ...

[Kacie · Rating 4 out of 5]

But here's the thing about anxiety and depression. It doesn't equip you to help yourself and it doesn't equip you to seek out help. When anxiety hits, the only thing you want is for it to stop.

I came across author Tim Fall's Twitter account some time ago. Among other things, he champions those who have been mistreated or abused by the Church. When I saw that he had a memoir about his experience with running for an election while having anxiety, I knew I wanted to read it.

I enjoy memoir as it lets me have a greater understanding of people --in this case I can relate to his anxiety, but don't know much about running for a county election or working in the legal field.

Fall is a Christian and leans on his faith and his family while seeking re-election for judge. He had been appointed for the position, and would need to be re-elected to keep his spot on the bench. In 2008, someone challenged him for the job and it set off a time of anxiety and depression.

In addition to maintaining self-care as he could, he sought treatment from a doctor who prescribed him meds which helped. He didn't mention seeing a therapist. I would have loved to read more about how a therapist might have helped (in addition to those helpful meds), but that wasn't part of his healing.

This book chronicles his career, focusing on that election. He's honest with the reader about his struggles with anxiety, and wants to remove the stigma on mental health. He is clear in telling his story, and is generous in crediting the many who came alongside him in his life.

The book is rather short, only 122 pages with postscript. I would have liked more, perhaps including more voices in the legal profession from those who have anxiety, depression, panic, or other mental illnesses. That was beyond the scope of the book. I would also have liked for him to acknowledge the great privilege he has had throughout his education and career. Based on his Twitter feed, I suspect he does understand that.

It was a quick, easy, and insightful read, I'm giving it 7/10 rounded up to 4/5 stars.

Thanks to Wipf and Stock Publishers for providing me with a digital review copy in exchange for my honest review.

[Nicholas McDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

I ran into Tim years ago on the internets. Tim is always quippy, funny, kind, wise and concise. In fact, my first online words to Tim were: "Tim, you write like a writer."

This book didn't disappoint in the least, carrying over all those wonderful writing qualities into this carefully curated account of his re-election process as a judge in Northern California. It's a story with a clear theme, something I love in a good story. Yes, it's about local political intrigue, but Tim uses it as a generous platform to share his personal struggles with anxiety, depression, weight-loss and anger. As a pastor, I found it illuminating to hear about the ways the church both helped and failed him during this time.

I'm not a judge - and that's good for America - but I related to almost everything Tim shared in this short, sweet, candid little book.

Three cheers for Tim. He has my vote.

My one reservation about recommending the book is the price. At $14.95, it's a little steep for a short book. I got it for $9.99 on Kindle. Still, I doubt Tim's in charge of that.

[Tony Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a public figure serving while battling bipolar disorder myself, I read Judge Fall's memoir with eager expectation and it did not disappoint. When Fall revealed his struggle with sometimes severe anxiety and depression, he could well have fallen from grace and lost his honor. He took the risk and in doing so he revealed a path toward healing and wholeness for many impacted by mental health conditions. Not everyone has the courage to disclose and, honestly, disclosure involves mature spiritual discernment that Fall has in droves.

But this book is not a theo-psychological treatise. It is a human story, sometimes quite funny and always humble. I read many mental health memoirs and I, IMHO, this is right up there with my own. When Despair Meets Delight, by Tony Roberts. Sorry Judge Fall, I had to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I "met" Tim on Twitter and only later learned that he had written a book. I was so impressed with him on Twitter -- his wisdom, his humor, his balanced way of explaining things that made them so much easier to understand -- all led me to buy and read his book. And I was not disappointed. In his book, he demonstrated all of those traits I'd appreciated and more. It was like sitting down in a comfy chair with a good cup of tea and hearing a friend tell his inspirational story. And as someone who has faced mental illness myself, so much of what he shared resonated with and encouraged me. Good read! Highly recommend!

[Dorothy Greco · Rating 4 out of 5]

One man's story of facing midlife anxiety/depression and professional challenges simultaneously. Tim is a terrific writer and does a great job drawing readers into this season of his life when he was running for re-election (CA judge). Very much appreciate his honest. It often seems that men in positions of power have a difficult time revealing their places of struggle. Not so with Fall. Great summer read. You'll be cheering for him by the end—and possibly wishing more judges had his wisdom, insight, and kindness.

[Judy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'd seen Tim Fall's posts on Twitter, but it was a podcast with Laura Christianson that prompted me to purchase his book--given my interest in the justice system and mental health. Fall does a service in writing about his experience with mental illness--in his case--episodic anxiety. And I learned a good deal about California's system of judicial appointments. I probably should give this more than 2 stars, but multiple times he says his anxiety was worse in the afternoons--once or twice would have been sufficient. As an editor, I found that annoying.

[Marlena Proper-graves · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tim Fall wrote an excellent book. I ordered it and it arrived today. I read it in two sittings. It is a page-turner, warm, and insightful. Tim Fall’s book takes us on a journey of the day in the life, and re-election, of a judge. Within he also vulnerably describes the anxiety and depression he experienced as he ran for re-election. His world as a judge is a world I don’t know. I had no idea what to expect from this book. I really appreciated it and enjoyed it.

[Fayelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really glad I read this

Such a great personal account of the life of a judge. So many aspects I never thought of and I never got bored. Tim does a great job of being honest and vulnerable while also personalizing what might seem dull or foreign to many of us. It made me look at many things in a new way.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very enjoyable read. I hope Tim continues to write.

[Emanuel B · Rating 5 out of 5]

What I hope will be the first of many books written by jurists with mental health disorders.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book! Such a different type of book. It was a page turner and i laughed, wanted to cry, cringed and even gasped out loud! In appreciate the author's vulnerability and honesty as well as his humor! I read this book very quickly bc I had to find out what happened next!