52 Uncommon Ways to Unwind Together: A Couple's Guide to Relaxing, Refreshing, and De-Stressing

by Randy Southern

Fun dates that help you reinvigorate your relationship.

Whether you’re going through a difficult season, your relationship has shifted into autopilot, or the everyday stresses of life are wearing you out, it’s time to de-stress together. Boost your relational connection and make fun memories with these strategically designed activities that provide opportunities to enjoy yourselves and unwind.

Each date idea includes suggestions for going the extra mile, personalizing the date to your unique story, speaking your spouse’s love language, and connecting with God. This thorough, yet simple guide to unwinding together helps

Release the pressures that take a toll on physical, spiritual, and emotional health Become equipped to be a calming and healing presence in your spouse’s life Connect on a deeper level and rekindle intimacy in your relationship Whether it’s creating a throwback party or offering your spouse a chauffeured commute, you’ll find clever and enjoyable ways to have fun and relax together.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Christian, Family

Audible Audio

Published March 23, 2020

About the author

RANDY SOUTHERN has written dozens of books, articles, study guides and curricula for the Christian market. His works include The World¿s Easiest Guide to Family Relationships, Raising Highly Capable Kids and Dating Clues for the Clueless.A graduate of Taylor University, Randy lives with his family in Fishers, Indiana.

Reviews

[Dasha Slepenkina · Rating 2 out of 5]

A big thank-you to NetGalley, the author, and publisher for giving me a copy of this book for an unbiased review.

1.5, rounded up to 2.

Starting with the positives – I truly appreciate what this book is trying to do. The concept of introducing fun, novel ideas into a committed relationship or marriage, while rooting them in one’s faith system, is one I can get behind.

However, very few of these ideas were ones I felt I could apply and the others just didn’t seem that enjoyable. Moreover, it had a strong focus on the 5 Love Languages, which I’ve never been a fan of (again, because they really don’t bring anything new to the table). This book seems to be targeted primarily at couples who are married with kids. My boyfriend and I not married (nor do we have kids), so most of this book really did not fit our relationship. Moreover, we prefer to keep our relationship private, whereas many of the ideas had to do with involving family/friends (one tip even said to remind your partner of an impending date via a work loudspeaker… something that would probably give both my boyfriend and myself trust issues). The other things that were suggested are things we already have a variation of doing (crafting things together, writing music, going dancing, visiting the farmer’s market, etc.). Finally, some tips were completely disconnected from what I imagine most people’s reality might be (using indoor bikes to go on a YouTube biking trip – who has indoor bikes?; borrowing a hammock from a highschooler or college student, because apparently they all have one – what?). In short, I understand that these tips can all be modified to fit distinct personalities and lifestyles, but overall they did not excite or motivate me, which is what I had been hoping for.

On the spiritual side of things, the application of the “Third Strand” felt forced – many of the verses really did not seem to fit with the chapter at all, making the flow clumsy.

I did appreciate a few of the spiritual reminders. Out of the 52 tips, there were maybe 2-3 that I could adopt. I also acknowledge that this book could be beneficial for Christian couples who are married with kids and are on the extroverted side. It really did not fit my lifestyle, but could be beneficial to others. This is the justification for rounding my rating up to two stars.

[Amber Webb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is incredible. I started sharing it with my spouse immediately. I was so inspired to invigorate our marriage with these uncommon ways to spend time together. Each section within the idea was useful and I can see using this in many different ways. I also think this would make a great gift book for married couples in that lull stage of marriage, or at any stage really!

[Monica H (TeaandBooks) · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is no secret that life can be stressful. I know a lot of families where both the husband and wife are on the go--and often in different directions. Relaxing and Unwinding together sounds great--but do you have trouble thinking up something different and fun to do? Randy Southern's new book, 52 Uncommon Ways to Unwind Together is full of activities to consider.


52 Uncommon Ways to Unwind Together begins with information related to the five love languages in Gary Chapman's books and he writes the forward to this book to help readers know what those are and how to use them to have a better relationship. Each of these 52 activities is described briefly and then includes directions to "go the extra mile" for a super fun activity and "making it work for you" talks about the best ways to implement the ideas for the activity to work best for your situation. There is also a brief touch on "speaking the right language" to say which love language the activity best will rub the right way. Last, but not least by any means, the activity ends with "weaving the third strand" or how to relate this activity to living with God as part of the relationship. This part includes Bible passages to read, questions to ask each other, and tips on praying after completing the activity. Some of the ideas I liked were volunteering at an animal shelter together, planning a dream vacation together, spending an evening stargazing, and making a series of birthday wish videos together for family members to see on their special day.


I liked that 52 Uncommon Ways to Unwind Together included so many different types of ideas. A few were activities my husband and I had already done together and a few were activities that just wouldn't work for us for one reason or another. . .but that left a lot of good ideas to consider. However, I while I did think some were good ideas like inviting an elderly person over for a meal, I didn't necessarily think that was a good way for someone like me to "unwind" when hospitality doesn't come easy to me. At the same time, it is a good idea to consider doing for us--it just didn't fit the title for me. I think most couples of all ages would find at least a few good ideas in this book for relaxing and doing something different together. I would encourage you to give this book a try if you are looking for ideas--just not necessarily to unwind together.

I received this book from Moody Publishers. All opinions in the review are my own.

[Tori · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF at like 10% and then a lot of skimming, not going to count this as read.

My goal for 2025 was that this was going to be the year of the DNF, and good news! I did it! That it took a Christian marriage advice book is hopefully not a bad sign for my future DNFs.

Please don't think I went into this without sincerity; it is one of my weaknesses that I sometimes pick up Christian self-help books, and every time I do it, I'm thinking "Maybe I'll like this! I don't have a problem with Christianity!" I've even liked a few, although I never seem to log them.

The problem with Christian books isn't the religious content; it's that they're bad. This one is in bed with the 5 Love Languages, which a more astute reader than I might have realized from the beginning.

I also think it really misses the mark on its theme. There is not a lot of destressing and unwinding with your spouse here. Most of the activities are basically just date ideas, which is fine, and then for every 1-2 pages of date idea, we get 3-6 pages of Bible verses and discussion questions. It's actually easy for me to imagine the couple who would enjoy a list of prompts for an activity to do and then a not-especially-but-kind-of-related Bible verse to discuss together. But it stretches imagination to describe that as "relaxing, refreshing, and de-stressing."

[Flora · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful and creative ideas abound in this book. Some are relaxing and some appear to me to involve a lot of work. There are some which I am absolutely sure my husband would never want to do, but they can all spark ideas as to what we would be happy to do as we spend time together.

Definitely will look into some of the activities that will make us get away from screen time!

I think this will make a great gift for a newly wed couple. It could start a tradition that lasts a lifetime.

Thank you Netgalley and Moody Publishers for the review copy. This is my honest opinion.

[Tracy Dorsett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated the tie ins to the Love Languages and thought that the Weaving The Third Strand section provided good scripture for discussion. I could see this book being utilized in small groups - maybe dividing the book into thirds and having each couple choose one activity to try for each section. Would make a nice gift. Would like to read the other books by this author.

[Cover Lover Book Review · Rating 3 out of 5]

My 3 impressions of this book:

The Good: I love the idea of a fun, spiritual guide for couples to spend time together. I feel this book is geared toward outgoing couples who crave creative and novel activities to do together. Some examples I found interesting are:
*Making your own video to 'Singin' in the Rain.'
*Ask friends/family for videos of their vacation spots
* Invite an elderly widow(er) to dinner with you

The Bad: I'm a private person, and introverted, so I found only a few things that might appeal to me and my spouse. And most of these activities and prompts seem to be the opposite of relaxing or 'unwinding.' In fact, many of them take a lot of preparation. I feel "52 Ways for Couples to Spend Time Together" would be a more appropriate title.

The Sweet: I love the spiritual aspect of this book, its basis on the five love languages, and that it is neatly organized. Each of the 52 ideas have a cohesive plan, and my favorite part is the "Weaving the Third Strand" sections, where Scripture verses are introduced and questions couples can contemplate.

Overall I think this book is suitable for couples who want to get out of their comfort zones and experience things they normally wouldn't. I, personally, would rather do things with my spouse that are more relaxing and routine.

☆☆☆

I received a complimentary copy from the MPNews blogger program and was under no obligation to post a positive review.

[Julia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed another book in this series on ways to connect as a family - but I enjoyed this one and its ideas much less. I felt like the date ideas were cheesy and impractical - maybe it's simply my personality, but most of the activities in here are not ones I would do. One part of the book I did enjoy was the devotionals and discussions for couples that accompanied each idea. These were actually very profound and great conversation starters that I would really use!

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Looking for a way to deepen your relationship with your spouse while relaxing and unwinding together? Look no further. Randy Southern provides just the thing in 52 Uncommon Ways to Unwind Together. As it says in the title, Southern provides 52 weeks’ worth of ideas for couples to work through together, though couples are free to calendar them as needed—every other week or once a month. But every step is a step in the right direction.

I really like the creativity of Southern’s ideas, things like Riff Your Wedding Video, Plan Your Dream Vacation, Memes for You, Truth or Dare, and Tell Your Story. In addition to the basic idea for unwinding, each activity includes three parts—a quote from Scripture that leads to meaningful conversations, a suggestion for incorporating one of the five love languages, and suggested readings from the Love Languages Devotional Bible. Probably the thing I appreciate most is the depth of the questions to draw couples into meaningful conversations. In today’s fast-paced world, these questions help couples make the most of their time together—relaxing, unwinding, and deepening their relationship. This small volume is a large treasure for those who want to make their marriages a priority by learning how to better relax and unwind together. Grab a copy of Randy Southern’s 52 Uncommon Ways to Unwind Together and start relaxing and enjoying your spouse today!

Note: I received a copy of the the book from the publisher in exchange for this honest review. However, the opinions expressed are my own.

[Another_Book_to_Ponder · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really like how these books are set up. Basically, I would look for one of the 52 chapters that jumped out at me... for example Ch 43. "10,000 Steps (x 2)" basically you get out your fitbit or pedometer or whatever to track your steps. Put your walking shoes on and you pick a step count. You can take a walk/hike together or just challenge each other. Then there is a "Weave the Third Strand" which is incorporating God i to your time... scripture, discussion and prayer.
You can take turns picking the Chapter to do. This is great whether you're newly married, celebrating anniversary 10, 20, 30 and beyond...

I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley on behalf of the Publisher and was under no obligation to post a favorable review.

[Amy Bell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to review this book for my honest opinion. I enjoyed all of the out of the box ideas that Randy shared. This is not your average date idea book. He also links each date idea back to a love language and back to Christ. Some would be harder to implement than others based on our personality types but they are all interesting and could be great depending how the couple chose to do them.

[LaVonda McCullough · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amazing book that was well written and provide valuable tips to improve and maintain dating while married!

Thank you for allowing me to read.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is unusual in that it not only gives ideas for date night, but each suggestion comes with Scripures and questions for discussion. My husband and I enjoyed trying these out.