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So You Might Be a Vampire
Nobody told Bob that when he became a vampire, he would still have to keep his job at the pornshop. Foul-mouthed, sarcastically funny, Bob is completely new to the whole vampire life. His ex-girlfriend hates him, he's addicted to blood, his Vampires Anonymous group failed... and way too many people are trying to kill him. There are over 101 ways to suck at being a vampire, and Bob is living proof.One year into being a vampire, Bob must overcome his own addictions, misconceptions and screwed-up expectations as he comes to terms with being an instant outcast in vampire society, where most vampires are attractive trust-fund kiddies who can actually afford the vampire life-style. Still forced to work his lousy day job at the porn-shop he makes observations on everyday life, the inability to fly or anything useful like in the books, and dives into finding out just how far he can push the limits in his new life after dark without screwing everything up.
288 pages, Paperback
Published May 24, 2014
3 people are currently reading
23 people want to read
About the author
Rodney V. Smith
4 books12 followersRodney V. Smith has been writing stories from the time he could hold a pencil. Born in Barbados, he has written short stories, screenplays and webseries.
He is one of the founding members of the Independent Web series Creators of Canada (IWCC) and has written and produced several webseries including the critically acclaimed “Dominion” and the sci-fi adventure “Out of Time”. Smith grew up in Barbados with an active interest in writing and art. He has been writing and producing screenplays for over 10 years and has published serialized stories on Wattpad.
The first in the Chasing the Sun series, SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE is his debut novel.
He is one of the founding members of the Independent Web series Creators of Canada (IWCC) and has written and produced several webseries including the critically acclaimed “Dominion” and the sci-fi adventure “Out of Time”. Smith grew up in Barbados with an active interest in writing and art. He has been writing and producing screenplays for over 10 years and has published serialized stories on Wattpad.
The first in the Chasing the Sun series, SO I MIGHT BE A VAMPIRE is his debut novel.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
December 10, 2017
As I was reading this book, I was thinking, “This must be written by a professional.” The writing is crisp, clean and witty. Wonderful characters tumble forth in profusion, written in a style of world-weary self-consciousness that has the author talking directly to the reader and coming clean on the nuts-and-bolts of the writing process: stretches, exaggerations and downright lies. It’s all very alluring.
And then, as I read on, I began to think, “This must be written for television.” The story just doesn’t go anywhere. In fact, in the novel sense, there is no story here. Just a series of interesting and highly entertaining episodes. Trying to sit down and read it all is like binge-watching a good TV sitcom on Netflix; it’s great at first, but palls rapidly.
Continuing with our television analogy, there is a place in every script that some writers call the “Fun and Games” section. It comes in the end of the first act when we have established the conflict and the theme, and started the action going. Then is the time to relax a bit and enjoy the premise: in this case, someone finding out what it’s like to be a vampire.
In this book that happens from Page One onward. We immediately get the idea that being a vampire sucks, that it does nothing to change your life in any positive way. And we see it for the rest of the book. An entertaining and creative series of episodes demonstrate in delightful ways that being a loser and a vampire just makes you a loser vampire. When the action climaxes in the final episode, it’s a great series closer, with all the wonky action, great suspense and witty dialogue we have come to expect.
So when the author/narrator comes clean at the end and admits that he’s a professional television scriptwriter, we aren’t surprised. When he further states that he had trouble finding an ending, we are even less surprised. There is no real story to end. He has proved his premise over and over in every entertaining episode, and like a successful sitcom writer, he is always tempted to write just one more show.
And for everyone who enjoyed Season One, it seems there’s a Season Two, pardon me, Book 2 in the works. I’m sure we’ll enjoy that one just as much.
Recommended for sitcom and other TV vampire show fans. Just don’t try to read it all at once.
And then, as I read on, I began to think, “This must be written for television.” The story just doesn’t go anywhere. In fact, in the novel sense, there is no story here. Just a series of interesting and highly entertaining episodes. Trying to sit down and read it all is like binge-watching a good TV sitcom on Netflix; it’s great at first, but palls rapidly.
Continuing with our television analogy, there is a place in every script that some writers call the “Fun and Games” section. It comes in the end of the first act when we have established the conflict and the theme, and started the action going. Then is the time to relax a bit and enjoy the premise: in this case, someone finding out what it’s like to be a vampire.
In this book that happens from Page One onward. We immediately get the idea that being a vampire sucks, that it does nothing to change your life in any positive way. And we see it for the rest of the book. An entertaining and creative series of episodes demonstrate in delightful ways that being a loser and a vampire just makes you a loser vampire. When the action climaxes in the final episode, it’s a great series closer, with all the wonky action, great suspense and witty dialogue we have come to expect.
So when the author/narrator comes clean at the end and admits that he’s a professional television scriptwriter, we aren’t surprised. When he further states that he had trouble finding an ending, we are even less surprised. There is no real story to end. He has proved his premise over and over in every entertaining episode, and like a successful sitcom writer, he is always tempted to write just one more show.
And for everyone who enjoyed Season One, it seems there’s a Season Two, pardon me, Book 2 in the works. I’m sure we’ll enjoy that one just as much.
Recommended for sitcom and other TV vampire show fans. Just don’t try to read it all at once.
October 7, 2014
It was excellent! It was fun, morbid, violent, sarcastic, humorous and entertaining. I really enjoyed it. =)
April 20, 2015
If you want to read a book with a new twist on the vampire mythology and a foul-mouthed main character that seriously needs all the four-leafed clovers and horseshoes the world has to offer (yup, that's how bad luck he has!) then this is the book for you.
You get to know Bob (the protagonist) better as he tries to make lemonade with the lemons that the afterlife hands him. He pretty much sucks at being a vampire, and making good lemonade isn't that simple. Especially not since all the 'perfect' vampires see him as the blemish on the vampire society.
All in all, Bob is a character that I can relate to, because he is an outsider, both as a human and as a vampire. Underneath the humour, the snarky comments and Bob's sass, this book has real emotional depth that deals with different aspects of life.
It has everything; Humour, love, sarcasm, wisdom of life, irony, violence, blood (duuh). I highly recommend it!
You get to know Bob (the protagonist) better as he tries to make lemonade with the lemons that the afterlife hands him. He pretty much sucks at being a vampire, and making good lemonade isn't that simple. Especially not since all the 'perfect' vampires see him as the blemish on the vampire society.
All in all, Bob is a character that I can relate to, because he is an outsider, both as a human and as a vampire. Underneath the humour, the snarky comments and Bob's sass, this book has real emotional depth that deals with different aspects of life.
It has everything; Humour, love, sarcasm, wisdom of life, irony, violence, blood (duuh). I highly recommend it!
August 6, 2015
Couldn't finish book. I liked the promise it had but couldn't get hooked into it. Kinda depressing.
March 25, 2016
This is one of those books that after the first chapter you wonder "wth?" you have to pay attention because the character is a bit ADHD, he finds himself in some crazy situations; it is quite entertaining.
January 9, 2016
This may not be the vampire book I deserved but it was one that I needed.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews