What do you think?
Rate this book
Courageously Soft: Daring to Keep a Tender Heart in a Tough World
Living in a broken world gives us plenty of reasons to armor up, shut down, and numb out. But God wants more for us than just getting by. When we harden ourselves to the world, we not only close ourselves off from the good things God intends for us, but close off avenues God wants to work through in others' lives as well.
With deep empathy and encouragement, writer Charaia Rush invites us to experience the countercultural path of staying open and vulnerable to the goodness of God and the miracle of staying tender in a tough world that only God can bring about.
In Courageously Soft, she helps you
- Identify the root of a hardened heart.
- Move from fearful self-preservation to the hope of being held
- Recognize God's presence in the midst of pain.
- Replace denial, shutting down, and closing off with abiding trust in God's love and care.
If you have been feeling exhausted, bitter, or beaten down by disappointment, betrayal, or suffering, this grace-filled book will help you find your way back to a posture of love, trust, and hope.
With deep empathy and encouragement, writer Charaia Rush invites us to experience the countercultural path of staying open and vulnerable to the goodness of God and the miracle of staying tender in a tough world that only God can bring about.
In Courageously Soft, she helps you
- Identify the root of a hardened heart.
- Move from fearful self-preservation to the hope of being held
- Recognize God's presence in the midst of pain.
- Replace denial, shutting down, and closing off with abiding trust in God's love and care.
If you have been feeling exhausted, bitter, or beaten down by disappointment, betrayal, or suffering, this grace-filled book will help you find your way back to a posture of love, trust, and hope.
Audible Audio
Published April 30, 2024
39 people are currently reading
2955 people want to read
About the author
Charaia Rush
2 books12 followersCharaia Rush is a writer and speaker who is passionate about telling the story of the gospel and watching how it softens the hardened corners of our hearts and illuminates the dark rooms of our spirits. She has written for outlets such as Christian Parenting and SheReads Truth. She resides in Colorado with her two lovely children.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
September 19, 2024
I marked this book with ink and tears.
As I flipped back through the pages after finishing, I realized I don't quite have the words to describe this book. The premise is somewhat simple: the circumstances of the world teach us to harden ourselves to be strong, to be safe, to protect ourselves. And yet this book advocates a harder way, a better way, a choice to over and over again soften to hope, to love, into the arms of Jesus. This book is full of Scripture references, not a self-help book but a theological defense of a practical way of living. And the emphasis repeatedly is on the finished work of Jesus, not on our abilities.
I don't have anymore words right now. Buy this, read it, be challenged and be encouraged. I know this is a book I'll be rereading.
As I flipped back through the pages after finishing, I realized I don't quite have the words to describe this book. The premise is somewhat simple: the circumstances of the world teach us to harden ourselves to be strong, to be safe, to protect ourselves. And yet this book advocates a harder way, a better way, a choice to over and over again soften to hope, to love, into the arms of Jesus. This book is full of Scripture references, not a self-help book but a theological defense of a practical way of living. And the emphasis repeatedly is on the finished work of Jesus, not on our abilities.
I don't have anymore words right now. Buy this, read it, be challenged and be encouraged. I know this is a book I'll be rereading.
August 6, 2024
This book is so good and so needed. While my life looks very different than Rush's, I found myself totally understanding the desire to close my heart yet also seeing the importance of keeping a tender heart. She was open, honest, and gave so much practical advice.
I feel like every woman should read this at some point because we're all in need of this message in our journey through this tough world.
I feel like every woman should read this at some point because we're all in need of this message in our journey through this tough world.
January 7, 2025
Charaia tells her story with honesty, depth, theological clarity, and hope. This is a book I want to give to everyone I know!
I underlined something every few pages, but here’s one of my favorite passages that captures the heart of the book:
“Staying soft isn’t the fruit of our might but the fullness of a miracle. The miracle of our humanity is held by His divinity. The miracle of remaining radically devoted to hope—humming its melody even as we tread through the valley of the shadow of death. The miracle of a heart of stone that starts to beat again with the life of the resurrection.”
I underlined something every few pages, but here’s one of my favorite passages that captures the heart of the book:
“Staying soft isn’t the fruit of our might but the fullness of a miracle. The miracle of our humanity is held by His divinity. The miracle of remaining radically devoted to hope—humming its melody even as we tread through the valley of the shadow of death. The miracle of a heart of stone that starts to beat again with the life of the resurrection.”
June 6, 2024
This is a book I already know I will revisit and re-read time and time again. Charaia is certainly a gifted writer, and this message is so timely and necessary. Forever grateful for her vulnerability and her beautiful words.
May 13, 2025
A tender, gently challenging nudge to stay tender even when you need to leave, to speak up, and to confront. I did notice a mixing of biblical and therapeutic definitions of forgiveness, but overall her message is solid.
April 24, 2025
Where to even start? This book is a balm to a weary soul, and a beacon to broken hearts—reminding over and over again the hope we have in Jesus, no matter what comes our way in this life.
If you feel weary because from the pain of this life, read this book to remember that you are beloved, and that true hope is not an empty or trite thing we slap onto our pain to move on.
Well done, Charaia. This short, concise book packs a (gentle) punch and is a must read.
If you feel weary because from the pain of this life, read this book to remember that you are beloved, and that true hope is not an empty or trite thing we slap onto our pain to move on.
Well done, Charaia. This short, concise book packs a (gentle) punch and is a must read.
March 21, 2024
This book is a work of art.
I don't read too many books traditionally accepted within the Christian living genre anymore, but Charaia Rush's writing has been a comfort and conviction over the years of my spiritual questions, doubts, and deconstruction. I don't think I've hit the preorder link for a book so quickly than when she announced this was coming.
With gentleness and truth, Charaia walks the reader through her own journey of discovering the power of maintaining a tender heart in the midst of real suffering, loss, and pain. This is not a book that spiritually bypasses pain with "God is good, all the time" platitudes and "you need to have faith" lectures; rather, this is probably one of the most honest books I've read from a Christian perspective that accepts the range of human emotions and questions in the midst of pain, while pointing to the power that is found in fighting to remain soft in the midst of hard things.
This book removes the pretense often found within church culture that we must perform through our pain in order to be called "faithful". By calling out the tendencies to avoid hard questions, relapse into cynicism, and hold out for a resolution to the hurting rather than staying present in the journey, Charaia draws the reader's attention to the unchanging character of God - "there's no heart too hard when touched by His hand."
Additionally, I'm so grateful the author addresses what a soft heart is not - it is not staying in a harmful situation to prove that "God works all things together for good". It is not becoming lax about personal boundaries. "Staying soft is not staying silent. It's having the courage to speak the truth with the tenderness to speak it with grace." It isn't people pleasing.
This book is a fount of wisdom, humanity, grace, and truth, and one I will be returning to often. If you were raised with a spiritually transactional understanding of the purpose of suffering ("we suffer to give God glory and in turn, He gives us good things" and the like), this book will challenge those misconceptions and call you into a deeper understanding of enduring pain that doesn't just revolve around a desired outcome. Whether or not your are in a painful season currently, I hope you pick up this book. The power of Charaia's story and the conviction of her message point to a God who is who He says He is even when everything else is less than what man promised.
I don't read too many books traditionally accepted within the Christian living genre anymore, but Charaia Rush's writing has been a comfort and conviction over the years of my spiritual questions, doubts, and deconstruction. I don't think I've hit the preorder link for a book so quickly than when she announced this was coming.
With gentleness and truth, Charaia walks the reader through her own journey of discovering the power of maintaining a tender heart in the midst of real suffering, loss, and pain. This is not a book that spiritually bypasses pain with "God is good, all the time" platitudes and "you need to have faith" lectures; rather, this is probably one of the most honest books I've read from a Christian perspective that accepts the range of human emotions and questions in the midst of pain, while pointing to the power that is found in fighting to remain soft in the midst of hard things.
This book removes the pretense often found within church culture that we must perform through our pain in order to be called "faithful". By calling out the tendencies to avoid hard questions, relapse into cynicism, and hold out for a resolution to the hurting rather than staying present in the journey, Charaia draws the reader's attention to the unchanging character of God - "there's no heart too hard when touched by His hand."
Additionally, I'm so grateful the author addresses what a soft heart is not - it is not staying in a harmful situation to prove that "God works all things together for good". It is not becoming lax about personal boundaries. "Staying soft is not staying silent. It's having the courage to speak the truth with the tenderness to speak it with grace." It isn't people pleasing.
This book is a fount of wisdom, humanity, grace, and truth, and one I will be returning to often. If you were raised with a spiritually transactional understanding of the purpose of suffering ("we suffer to give God glory and in turn, He gives us good things" and the like), this book will challenge those misconceptions and call you into a deeper understanding of enduring pain that doesn't just revolve around a desired outcome. Whether or not your are in a painful season currently, I hope you pick up this book. The power of Charaia's story and the conviction of her message point to a God who is who He says He is even when everything else is less than what man promised.
September 11, 2024
Such a poignant reminder to live, outwardly but more importantly inwardly, as Jesus would have us do. Beautifully done. 👏
October 1, 2024
This book feels like your sitting with your best friend weeping over what was while moving into what is, it’s the hand squeeze of encouragement to keep going, and sees all of the bad but highlights the good. The audiobook is like a conversation that you’re desperate to have: humbling, entertaining, and moving. The content is deeply relatable and so relevant. I wish I’d have had these words in the middle of the valley, but even today they point me toward Jesus.
Charaia has a beautiful ability to explain scripture with cultural, contextual, and conceptual insights that renew the promises of God in such a profound way. She gently guides you into deeper understanding of the word and how it relates in daily life.
All of that to say: A MUST READ!
Charaia has a beautiful ability to explain scripture with cultural, contextual, and conceptual insights that renew the promises of God in such a profound way. She gently guides you into deeper understanding of the word and how it relates in daily life.
All of that to say: A MUST READ!
October 23, 2024
3.5/5 Overall, I liked this book and its message! It was a slower read for me, as I found it hard to read more than a chapter at a time. There were several quotes/concepts/takeaways that really stuck with me, and I liked and appreciated the author’s transparency as she shared her mission of cultivating and maintaining a tender heart.
My favorite quotes/takeaways from this book were:
“In her autobiography, Pullinger describes how as followers of Jesus our actions and our hearts must come under His submission as we carry the gospel to those who are desperate for hope. ‘God wants us to have soft hearts and hard feet. The trouble with so many of us is that we have hard hearts and soft feet’.” Pg. 11
“No matter how much good self-care you practice on your own, you cannot love yourself out of your need to be loved.” Pg. 153
“It’s never an accident to arrive at the end of a day, at the end of a season, at the end of a life with a heart that is soft toward God and humanity. It’s not happenstance, but a willingness to allow God to enter the rooms we’ve locked and touch the sin we’ve justified.” Pg. 161
My favorite quotes/takeaways from this book were:
“In her autobiography, Pullinger describes how as followers of Jesus our actions and our hearts must come under His submission as we carry the gospel to those who are desperate for hope. ‘God wants us to have soft hearts and hard feet. The trouble with so many of us is that we have hard hearts and soft feet’.” Pg. 11
“No matter how much good self-care you practice on your own, you cannot love yourself out of your need to be loved.” Pg. 153
“It’s never an accident to arrive at the end of a day, at the end of a season, at the end of a life with a heart that is soft toward God and humanity. It’s not happenstance, but a willingness to allow God to enter the rooms we’ve locked and touch the sin we’ve justified.” Pg. 161
June 29, 2025
This was such a good book, but because of some things I’m currently dealing with, I wasn’t able to take it in to its fullest extent. I’m hoping to do a reread sometime in the future, and hopefully then I will be able to fully take in all that this book has to offer! I definitely highly recommend it to all women who are struggling with anything in their lives; this book has a lot of excellent encouragements and insights into gaining and keeping a soft heart in the midst of hardships!
October 9, 2024
This book is beautifully written! I found this book deeply relatable and a powerful reminder that even in our toughest moments, God is always with us, even when we can't feel it or understand the challenges we face. While it’s difficult to have a soft hard in this hard world, it’s what God has called us to do. It serves as a beautiful encouragement to continually return to Jesus.
October 20, 2025
A vulnerable and applicational story of how God can transform a hard, cold, unbreakable heart into a courageously soft one! Her story is heart breaking; praise God for His grace and mercy as we lean into Him, relying on Him to let heal us as we trust in Him and obey Him even when and even as it hurts.
January 18, 2025
This was a good read to read slower. I like how she explains fairly often that having a soft heart isn’t the same thing as being walked over. But that having a soft heart in the midst of hard is actually a strength.
May 11, 2024
Yeah this went way over my head
October 27, 2025
So, so good. I will definitely be re reading this in years to come!
May 2, 2024
Thank you, Charaia for sharing your story and encouraging us that a soft heart in a hard world is actually a gift to press into.
March 23, 2025
This book is just what I needed. I've been wrestling with what feels like oppositional values: staying soft while remaining strong. What does that even look like? is a question I've had rumbling around my head for perhaps years.
Charaia brings to the front the truth that we can honestly name our pain, trauma, tragedy, without letting it turn our hearts into granite. We pull back the veil from our hearts—choosing to acknowledge reality instead of living in a detrimental fantasy—and allow God to begin His miraculous work of growing tenderness and softness in our hearts.
The world has plenty of hard-hearted and bitter people. And it is so easy to be one of them. The intentional work of being tender yet strong is a whole other process, and only succeeds by partnering with God. It is something He creates in us. The author really circles and highlights this truth throughout the book, which I appreciated. God is well able to empower us when we feel weak and unable to fight the dragon of hardheartedness.
Charaia concludes the book with a chapter on what staying soft is not, as well. I appreciated this. "Staying soft" has a boatload of negative connotations:
• Being weak or a doormat
• Putting up with abuse
• Submitting to injustice
• People pleasing
But she clarified that those things are not what she means about staying soft. We were made to have hearts of flesh and not of stone, something crafted in the hands of our Maker as time presses on. That doesn't mean we throw ourselves at every abuser, predator, immature or malevolent person/situation. God gave us free will. We should be good stewards of it.
I tabbed so many pages in this book. I felt convicted in parts and enlightened in others. This book was finished at the end of a hard season for Charaia—something she was actively walking through as she wrote this book—and I am so grateful that she wrote this book anyway. It's not born out of someone whose never known deep pain. This was born out of someone who was well-acquainted with it. No empty platitudes here.
There are a lot of good quotes from this book but I will just share a few below:
"The journey of forgiveness makes us fully aware of our weaknesses, yes—and also fully strengthens us by God's arrival of grace for us on the very same road. A forgiveness that feels powerful will leave us wanting. A forgiveness detached from a humble understanding both of our own shortcomings and that we are covered with mercy does not leave us softer. Instead it causes us to cover our own iniquities with reason while demanding those who offend us are laid bare in the courtroom of our vindication." Pg. 92-93
"There is no despair great enough to silence the voice of Hope himself." Pg. 134
5 stars.
Charaia brings to the front the truth that we can honestly name our pain, trauma, tragedy, without letting it turn our hearts into granite. We pull back the veil from our hearts—choosing to acknowledge reality instead of living in a detrimental fantasy—and allow God to begin His miraculous work of growing tenderness and softness in our hearts.
The world has plenty of hard-hearted and bitter people. And it is so easy to be one of them. The intentional work of being tender yet strong is a whole other process, and only succeeds by partnering with God. It is something He creates in us. The author really circles and highlights this truth throughout the book, which I appreciated. God is well able to empower us when we feel weak and unable to fight the dragon of hardheartedness.
Charaia concludes the book with a chapter on what staying soft is not, as well. I appreciated this. "Staying soft" has a boatload of negative connotations:
• Being weak or a doormat
• Putting up with abuse
• Submitting to injustice
• People pleasing
But she clarified that those things are not what she means about staying soft. We were made to have hearts of flesh and not of stone, something crafted in the hands of our Maker as time presses on. That doesn't mean we throw ourselves at every abuser, predator, immature or malevolent person/situation. God gave us free will. We should be good stewards of it.
I tabbed so many pages in this book. I felt convicted in parts and enlightened in others. This book was finished at the end of a hard season for Charaia—something she was actively walking through as she wrote this book—and I am so grateful that she wrote this book anyway. It's not born out of someone whose never known deep pain. This was born out of someone who was well-acquainted with it. No empty platitudes here.
There are a lot of good quotes from this book but I will just share a few below:
"The journey of forgiveness makes us fully aware of our weaknesses, yes—and also fully strengthens us by God's arrival of grace for us on the very same road. A forgiveness that feels powerful will leave us wanting. A forgiveness detached from a humble understanding both of our own shortcomings and that we are covered with mercy does not leave us softer. Instead it causes us to cover our own iniquities with reason while demanding those who offend us are laid bare in the courtroom of our vindication." Pg. 92-93
"There is no despair great enough to silence the voice of Hope himself." Pg. 134
5 stars.
April 12, 2024
This thoughtful book explores how Christians can maintain a gentle, soft spirit even when they are suffering in ways that would normally lead to harshness, cynicism, and resentment. Charaia Rush reflects on her own experiences, particularly with the loss of her marriage due to her husband's infidelity and abandonment, and she explores Bible stories about what it looks like to have faith, resist cynicism, and experience true forgiveness in the midst of suffering, oppression, and pain. Her writing style is engaging and easy to read, and I appreciate her vulnerability and honesty about her emotional struggles in the midst of her failing marriage, as well as wounds from childhood that affect her outlook on life.
Rush clearly balances the call to choose gentleness with the reality that remaining "soft" in the midst of hardship is ultimately a gift from God, not just something we can achieve through our own determination. She also enriches this book with deep reflections about false beliefs that many people hold about God and themselves, and she encourages her readers to move beyond doubts and harmful theology. For example, she writes about her personal temptation to believe that good things don't happen to people like her, and she engages with biblical teaching to show that God truly loves us and intends good for us, even when we feel punished or rejected. She also engages with what true biblical forgiveness looks like, in contrast to her past beliefs that flowed from church culture instead of the Bible.
This is a beautiful, touching book about an important topic. Although I have read many books about pain and suffering, Rush's focus on keeping a gentle and sensitive spirit instead of hardening your heart is a relatively unique one, and I appreciate this book's blend between deep biblical teaching and personal reflections. Rush's honesty and vulnerability give this book even greater weight, since she is offering hard-won truths from her own walk with God, and since readers can see what she has endured. I really enjoyed this book and found it deeply encouraging, and I would recommend it to adults and teens who are going through tough times.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Rush clearly balances the call to choose gentleness with the reality that remaining "soft" in the midst of hardship is ultimately a gift from God, not just something we can achieve through our own determination. She also enriches this book with deep reflections about false beliefs that many people hold about God and themselves, and she encourages her readers to move beyond doubts and harmful theology. For example, she writes about her personal temptation to believe that good things don't happen to people like her, and she engages with biblical teaching to show that God truly loves us and intends good for us, even when we feel punished or rejected. She also engages with what true biblical forgiveness looks like, in contrast to her past beliefs that flowed from church culture instead of the Bible.
This is a beautiful, touching book about an important topic. Although I have read many books about pain and suffering, Rush's focus on keeping a gentle and sensitive spirit instead of hardening your heart is a relatively unique one, and I appreciate this book's blend between deep biblical teaching and personal reflections. Rush's honesty and vulnerability give this book even greater weight, since she is offering hard-won truths from her own walk with God, and since readers can see what she has endured. I really enjoyed this book and found it deeply encouraging, and I would recommend it to adults and teens who are going through tough times.
I received a free copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
February 7, 2025
“Every origin story of a harden heart points back to a wound”
➡️ made me pray for the heart of my husband and myself. That we would be armored to fight against the world attempting to harden our hearts at every turn. That God would heal any and all hurt, frustration, anger, confusion, unanswered questions/doubts or any lie-believing places in our hearts!! To keep our hearts soft & pliable so God can mold them to His will & purposes!!
Moments of the book that spoke to me/my heart:
“… by the wounds of Christ, the deepest wounds of our origin story are healed.”
“… the miracle of a soft heart authenticates the message of the gospel.”
“Pain has two paths, resentfulness or redemption.”
“I want you to receive the softening that comes from being bravely honest in the secret place with the King of your heart.”
“The truth is, if we don’t name our pain honestly & openly, it will end up naming us.”
“When our obedience doesn’t lead to the outcome we deem we’ve earned by our sacrifice, our bewilderment makes us hard.”
“Our awe of God will always lead to our desire to respond rightly.”
“Cynicism is not the character of a mature Christian, it’s the defense mechanism of a wounded one.”
“When we let our wounds whisper the ‘truth’ about who God is, and when we begin to doubt His unwavering love for us, that is when the heart begins to harden.”
“When we’re more interested in answers than His presence, we become burdened by the weight of both our suffering and our desire to know why we are suffering. It’s too heavy a load to bear.”
“His vow to us is not to always bring understanding but to always be with us” (Isaiah 43:2)
“… our suffering can always be a sacred place where we meet God.”
“Perhaps the greatest way you can take care of yourself in hard times is to put on your ‘belovedness.’ Even when others have shut you out, you can care for yourself with the revelation that the sacrifice Christ made brought you into the fold. Even when others reject you, you can heal by being held by ‘the everlasting arms’ (Deuteronomy 33:27). GOD NEVER STOPS CHOOSING YOU EVEN WHEN OTHERS DO!”
“Staying soft is resilience that acts like water: fierce enough to cut through rock and gentle enough to keep us afloat. A soft heart is still a force.”
E 📖
➡️ made me pray for the heart of my husband and myself. That we would be armored to fight against the world attempting to harden our hearts at every turn. That God would heal any and all hurt, frustration, anger, confusion, unanswered questions/doubts or any lie-believing places in our hearts!! To keep our hearts soft & pliable so God can mold them to His will & purposes!!
Moments of the book that spoke to me/my heart:
“… by the wounds of Christ, the deepest wounds of our origin story are healed.”
“… the miracle of a soft heart authenticates the message of the gospel.”
“Pain has two paths, resentfulness or redemption.”
“I want you to receive the softening that comes from being bravely honest in the secret place with the King of your heart.”
“The truth is, if we don’t name our pain honestly & openly, it will end up naming us.”
“When our obedience doesn’t lead to the outcome we deem we’ve earned by our sacrifice, our bewilderment makes us hard.”
“Our awe of God will always lead to our desire to respond rightly.”
“Cynicism is not the character of a mature Christian, it’s the defense mechanism of a wounded one.”
“When we let our wounds whisper the ‘truth’ about who God is, and when we begin to doubt His unwavering love for us, that is when the heart begins to harden.”
“When we’re more interested in answers than His presence, we become burdened by the weight of both our suffering and our desire to know why we are suffering. It’s too heavy a load to bear.”
“His vow to us is not to always bring understanding but to always be with us” (Isaiah 43:2)
“… our suffering can always be a sacred place where we meet God.”
“Perhaps the greatest way you can take care of yourself in hard times is to put on your ‘belovedness.’ Even when others have shut you out, you can care for yourself with the revelation that the sacrifice Christ made brought you into the fold. Even when others reject you, you can heal by being held by ‘the everlasting arms’ (Deuteronomy 33:27). GOD NEVER STOPS CHOOSING YOU EVEN WHEN OTHERS DO!”
“Staying soft is resilience that acts like water: fierce enough to cut through rock and gentle enough to keep us afloat. A soft heart is still a force.”
E 📖
April 6, 2024
I, like the author, have always been known for having a soft heart. I was known for being very emotional and compassionate to a fault as a kid. I was “too sensitive,” and was also encouraged to grow thicker skin. When I saw the subtitle for this book, I knew it would be a good fit for me.
There was a wonderful mixture of personal stories, lengthy and thorough Bible examples, and life lessons. The author shares her struggles and hang ups with her story and with God while beautifully adjusting her perspective and her readers’ to see that God is still good and works best to transform his people when they are soft and open before him. Rush’s insistence that we cannot be defined by our pain was important, but equally important, she does not discourage the recognition that our pain changes us. Instead of glossing over it, she encourages readers to invite God into it.
Because I have spent a decent amount of time reading and studying the topics within, I didn’t find a lot of the information revolutionary nor did I feel particularly transformed by the book (two areas I use to determine my experience/rating of nonfiction books). However, I would highly recommend this book to many audiences and personally loved several chapters. I particularly liked the one about not letting suffering keep us from Christian community. And I was very challenged by the chapter on cynicism where the author makes the point that we cannot mask cynicism as being a “realist” when in truth, cynicism can lead us to sin and hardened hearts.
Overall, I was glad to read this title and will keep it in mind as a recommendation for friends in the future.
Thanks to NetGalley and Baker Books for the eARC of this title.
— NOTES —
Genre: Christian nonfiction
Content: divorce, infidelity
— MY RATING CONSIDERATIONS —
(all out of 5)
Levity/Humility: 5
Information: 3.5
Transformation: 4
My Gut Feeling: 4
Total Stars: 4.125
There was a wonderful mixture of personal stories, lengthy and thorough Bible examples, and life lessons. The author shares her struggles and hang ups with her story and with God while beautifully adjusting her perspective and her readers’ to see that God is still good and works best to transform his people when they are soft and open before him. Rush’s insistence that we cannot be defined by our pain was important, but equally important, she does not discourage the recognition that our pain changes us. Instead of glossing over it, she encourages readers to invite God into it.
Because I have spent a decent amount of time reading and studying the topics within, I didn’t find a lot of the information revolutionary nor did I feel particularly transformed by the book (two areas I use to determine my experience/rating of nonfiction books). However, I would highly recommend this book to many audiences and personally loved several chapters. I particularly liked the one about not letting suffering keep us from Christian community. And I was very challenged by the chapter on cynicism where the author makes the point that we cannot mask cynicism as being a “realist” when in truth, cynicism can lead us to sin and hardened hearts.
Overall, I was glad to read this title and will keep it in mind as a recommendation for friends in the future.
Thanks to NetGalley and Baker Books for the eARC of this title.
— NOTES —
Genre: Christian nonfiction
Content: divorce, infidelity
— MY RATING CONSIDERATIONS —
(all out of 5)
Levity/Humility: 5
Information: 3.5
Transformation: 4
My Gut Feeling: 4
Total Stars: 4.125
March 30, 2025
Such a good book. The author did a great job of being vulnerable and showing how God used hard things in her life to show her how to be soft. She used a lot of illustrations from the Bible. There were several times that I wished I was reading a hard copy although I did enjoy the author reading the audiobook.
" when we tell ourselves a story that God is not who he said he is and that our hearts are not safe in his hand we'll find our reflections about him look more like our pain in the mirror then his good character. "
"Slaves gain favor based on their own merit, sons receive favor based on who they belong to."
"We are not hardened by our pursuit of holiness, but we are subtly and surely hardened when we put our hand to the plow with transactional intent. "
"Our awe of God Will always lead to a desire to respond rightly.
"Delight cures the heart that is sick with self-righteousness. "
"Cynicism did to Jonah what it does to all of us, it renders our understanding of God smaller and smaller. "
"Jonah ran because he was afraid God would respond according to his character and not according to Jonah's contempt."
"Jonah was so riddled with contempt that he preferred to be a spectator of judgment then a participant of Grace. "
"When God remembers he responds. "
"When we recall God's character hope is sure to follow."
" when we tell ourselves a story that God is not who he said he is and that our hearts are not safe in his hand we'll find our reflections about him look more like our pain in the mirror then his good character. "
"Slaves gain favor based on their own merit, sons receive favor based on who they belong to."
"We are not hardened by our pursuit of holiness, but we are subtly and surely hardened when we put our hand to the plow with transactional intent. "
"Our awe of God Will always lead to a desire to respond rightly.
"Delight cures the heart that is sick with self-righteousness. "
"Cynicism did to Jonah what it does to all of us, it renders our understanding of God smaller and smaller. "
"Jonah ran because he was afraid God would respond according to his character and not according to Jonah's contempt."
"Jonah was so riddled with contempt that he preferred to be a spectator of judgment then a participant of Grace. "
"When God remembers he responds. "
"When we recall God's character hope is sure to follow."
April 16, 2024
Courageously Soft is filled with hope and encouragement. Charaia does an amazing job in pointing the reader back to the Giver of hope, God. She shares through personal life stories and examples how suffering and loss can be met with a heart that does not harden and grow cold, but a heart that seeks to stay soft, gentle, and loving, even in the most difficult circumstances. Weaving many bible stories throughout her book, she shows historically how many others have been shown not only the love and grace of God in their adversity, but how we can gain strength and resolve to walk in this courageously soft way, too. Charaia says, "It's in solitude that we are caught by the hands of God. That chanting of the shutting doors is interrupted by the melody of being called His beloved." I love how the author has woven in many other well-known authors comments into her encouraging guidebook on how to not get bitter or live in resentment after pain, loss, and suffering. Grab yourself a copy and a hot cup of coffee/tea, and enjoy the edifying words from Courageously Soft.
Thank you to NetGalley and Baker books for the review copy of this wonderful book. All opinions are my own.
Thank you to NetGalley and Baker books for the review copy of this wonderful book. All opinions are my own.
June 28, 2025
Grateful for this book... I picked it up when it was first released, but put it down. Not because of the book, but ironically, because my heart was hardening and I was losing hope and I didn't really want someone telling me what I didn't want to hear. But God kept working on me and a few months ago, He broke my heart. Or softened it, I guess. And so I started reading more and came back across this book on my shelf.
I am so glad I did because it has been such an encouraging affirmation. The wisdom and truth throughout mirror what God brought me through. So I second what she says! So for anyone hurting and less stubborn, willing to read wise words in the middle of the tussle and take a helping hand, I could not recommend a better book about what it means to hope, stay open to the Lord's work in your heart, ensure softly, and all the other tidbits.
Charaia is an excellent writer, who balances directness with poetry so well. Like a really good stew over mashed potatoes. Substantive and weighty, but warm and comforting as well.
Thanks, wonderful woman, for doing all the work to put this thing out into the world. It certainly has/will enrich and impact people's lives.
I am so glad I did because it has been such an encouraging affirmation. The wisdom and truth throughout mirror what God brought me through. So I second what she says! So for anyone hurting and less stubborn, willing to read wise words in the middle of the tussle and take a helping hand, I could not recommend a better book about what it means to hope, stay open to the Lord's work in your heart, ensure softly, and all the other tidbits.
Charaia is an excellent writer, who balances directness with poetry so well. Like a really good stew over mashed potatoes. Substantive and weighty, but warm and comforting as well.
Thanks, wonderful woman, for doing all the work to put this thing out into the world. It certainly has/will enrich and impact people's lives.
October 23, 2024
Everyone should read Courageously Soft! Easily a 6 Star Read for Me!
Courageously Soft is an amazing book and it spoke to my heart in the deepest ways. I believe Charaia wrote a book that every person should read, because it is so fitting to our human experience — we all need to pursue staying Courageously Soft. I read the book as well as listened to the audio book and I loved both experiences and what I took away from both.
Every chapter was written beautifully, challenging and encouraging me in a new way. I couldn’t stop highlighting if I’m honest! One of the most impactful chapters for me was “The Melody in the Shipwreck,” reminding me that my hope is safe in God alone.
Charaia’s writing gives me permission to dream and hope for what the future holds. Her vulnerability in sharing her life experiences caused me to know that no matter what trials may come my way, with God, I can remain courageously soft.
Thank you for writing such a powerful and timely book, Charaia! The world needs this message and I’m grateful He chose you to deliver it so beautifully.
Courageously Soft is an amazing book and it spoke to my heart in the deepest ways. I believe Charaia wrote a book that every person should read, because it is so fitting to our human experience — we all need to pursue staying Courageously Soft. I read the book as well as listened to the audio book and I loved both experiences and what I took away from both.
Every chapter was written beautifully, challenging and encouraging me in a new way. I couldn’t stop highlighting if I’m honest! One of the most impactful chapters for me was “The Melody in the Shipwreck,” reminding me that my hope is safe in God alone.
Charaia’s writing gives me permission to dream and hope for what the future holds. Her vulnerability in sharing her life experiences caused me to know that no matter what trials may come my way, with God, I can remain courageously soft.
Thank you for writing such a powerful and timely book, Charaia! The world needs this message and I’m grateful He chose you to deliver it so beautifully.
September 4, 2025
Every chapter of Courageously Soft resonated with me. It pushed me to reflect, to heal, and to rethink how I approach my own struggles. With each chapter, I found myself applying the lessons to my life, and the impact was immediate.
I really appreciated Charaia’s fresh perspective on well known Bible stories. The chapter about Ruth and Naomi stood out the most. Many people focus on their relationship, but Charaia highlighted the depth of Naomi’s brokenness, and that truly connected with me.
Reading this book was emotional because it felt like someone finally understood my hurt and pain. I loved Charaia’s honesty and transparency throughout. At times it even felt like she was working through her own pain as she wrote, which made the book feel even more authentic and relatable.
I absolutely loved this book and would recommend it to everyone. It is a must read for both men and women, especially if you are going through hardships, struggling with unforgiveness, or feeling misunderstood. This book speaks directly to those places.
I really appreciated Charaia’s fresh perspective on well known Bible stories. The chapter about Ruth and Naomi stood out the most. Many people focus on their relationship, but Charaia highlighted the depth of Naomi’s brokenness, and that truly connected with me.
Reading this book was emotional because it felt like someone finally understood my hurt and pain. I loved Charaia’s honesty and transparency throughout. At times it even felt like she was working through her own pain as she wrote, which made the book feel even more authentic and relatable.
I absolutely loved this book and would recommend it to everyone. It is a must read for both men and women, especially if you are going through hardships, struggling with unforgiveness, or feeling misunderstood. This book speaks directly to those places.
May 24, 2024
This book... Yall! First of all, I absolutely loved it. I got this book at a time in my life when I had experienced something that, in my mind, justified the hardening of my heart. That was my perspective. After I read this book that went out the window, I realized that my heart hardening was wrong and that the actions that stemmed from that weren't Christ-like behaviors. This is refreshing in a Christian non-fiction literary (dare I say self-help lol) landscape where everyone talks about what the Lord can do for you OR how you "birth" that business! This book pointed me to Jesus and made me say "If I call myself a believer and follower of The Way-- then that should exemplified even in the circumstances where I feel 'justified' to harden my heart." Rush isn't going to fill you with a bunch of feel-good nonsense or sell you a lie; she will give you the TRUTH (not just "her truth") but the GOSPEL TRUTH with Scripture to corroborate it. Get this book! You won't regret it.
March 30, 2024
“This is what I know: staying soft isn’t the fruit of our might but the fullness of a miracle. The miracle of our humanity being held by His divinity.”
Finishing this book, I had one pervasive thought: staying soft is the good work. There are so many commitments between work and life that demand our attention, but seeking the Lord and letting Him cultivate a soft heart within us is among the best work there is.
I wish I’d had this book about three years ago, but I also wonder if I would have been ready to receive these truths then.
Even still, I’d highly recommend this one for all who are navigating unwanted, unexpected, or unknown situations that are calling for a hardened heart. For any who have suffering that is lingering far longer than you wanted it to. For any wondering at how to maintain a grip on the hope that tethers them to Christ when life won’t stop being hard.
Finishing this book, I had one pervasive thought: staying soft is the good work. There are so many commitments between work and life that demand our attention, but seeking the Lord and letting Him cultivate a soft heart within us is among the best work there is.
I wish I’d had this book about three years ago, but I also wonder if I would have been ready to receive these truths then.
Even still, I’d highly recommend this one for all who are navigating unwanted, unexpected, or unknown situations that are calling for a hardened heart. For any who have suffering that is lingering far longer than you wanted it to. For any wondering at how to maintain a grip on the hope that tethers them to Christ when life won’t stop being hard.
September 16, 2024
I highlighted so many things in this book it is hard to choose just a few things to comment on. I think in the Christian world we often feel like we can’t speak out loud to our pain or people will think we’ve hardened our hearts towards God, but this book is such a perfect example of how that is not true. We can live in the pain and still love and trust that God will have us. That journey may not always be easy as Charaia points out and it doesn’t mean the heart will ache any less, but when we soften towards our Savior, in spite of the ache, we are living Courageously Soft. This book is lovely.
February 7, 2025
I’ve followed Charaia Rush on Instagram for quite a while now, so when I saw she came out with a book, of course I had to read it. This book definitely comes through. Charaia’s writing voice that I knew and loved from her social media is conveyed very well in her book. I enjoyed hearing it as an audiobook in her voice, but I would have loved to highlight quite a few things if I’d been reading it in a physical copy. It’s not long or hard to read, but the content is profound and well-worded and definitely worth being reminded of.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews