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Hidden Scars: From Crime Scenes to Crisis, The Price of Service
Unmasking the Journey from Duty to Darkness to Healing
In Hidden Scars, former NSW Police Officer Justyn Backhouse shares an unflinching memoir of life on the front lines, revealing the harrowing experiences and unseen toll of a 25-year policing career. Diagnosed with PTSD in 2021, Justyn wrote this memoir during treatment—not only as a path to healing but as an honest exploration of the psychological scars that come with being a first responder.
His journey unfolds with gripping from high-speed pursuits on highway patrol to daring rescues and body recoveries with POLAir, each experience brings him closer to the edge. It all unravels with a pivotal incident late in Justyn’s career—a traumatic moment that thrust him into a mental health crisis. Vivid flashbacks pull readers into defining the adrenaline and shock of his first encounters with crime, tragic motor vehicle accidents that challenge his views on mortality, and the violent clashes during the Cronulla riots. Each experience erodes the safety of youth, replacing it with the stark realities of policing.
As PTSD silently takes root, Justyn confronts the relentless impact of trauma on his work, family, and sense of self. He exposes private battles—panic attacks, the emotional toll on his loved ones, and the struggle to cope with the stress infiltrating every part of his life. Amidst the bleakness, his journey toward recovery unfolds, revealing the support and resilience he draws on to rebuild his life and purpose.
Through raw, compelling storytelling, Hidden Scars offers a window into the harsh realities of police work and a powerful message of healing and hope, shining a light on the courage it takes to reclaim oneself from the shadows of trauma.
In Hidden Scars, former NSW Police Officer Justyn Backhouse shares an unflinching memoir of life on the front lines, revealing the harrowing experiences and unseen toll of a 25-year policing career. Diagnosed with PTSD in 2021, Justyn wrote this memoir during treatment—not only as a path to healing but as an honest exploration of the psychological scars that come with being a first responder.
His journey unfolds with gripping from high-speed pursuits on highway patrol to daring rescues and body recoveries with POLAir, each experience brings him closer to the edge. It all unravels with a pivotal incident late in Justyn’s career—a traumatic moment that thrust him into a mental health crisis. Vivid flashbacks pull readers into defining the adrenaline and shock of his first encounters with crime, tragic motor vehicle accidents that challenge his views on mortality, and the violent clashes during the Cronulla riots. Each experience erodes the safety of youth, replacing it with the stark realities of policing.
As PTSD silently takes root, Justyn confronts the relentless impact of trauma on his work, family, and sense of self. He exposes private battles—panic attacks, the emotional toll on his loved ones, and the struggle to cope with the stress infiltrating every part of his life. Amidst the bleakness, his journey toward recovery unfolds, revealing the support and resilience he draws on to rebuild his life and purpose.
Through raw, compelling storytelling, Hidden Scars offers a window into the harsh realities of police work and a powerful message of healing and hope, shining a light on the courage it takes to reclaim oneself from the shadows of trauma.
275 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 30, 2025
3 people are currently reading
19 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
July 13, 2025
We see them on the news, driving on our roads, or hovering in the skies above our homes before descending to keep us all safe 🩵
Sadly what we don’t see is the profound depths & impact of trauma that afflicts an increasing number of our amazing police force & first responders 😢
It is time this epidemic is fully brought to public attention & this has been so eloquently done in former POLAIR Tactical Flight Officer Justyn Backhouse’s @hidden_scars_story phenomenal memoir HIDDEN SCARS 💔
‘Being able to see all and often having little ability to influence or control a situation at times left me feeling helpless, and in time, ashamed. Ultimately, sitting 700 feet up in a small bubble above the action did little to save me from the hurt & damage to come.’
Never has a book moved me so deeply, broken me right open & resonated to my core 🥺
It’s visceral. Heartbreaking. But is also a story of grace, incredible humility & hope 🙏🏻
As a former nurse who is still haunted at times by things I saw years ago & cannot un-see, I know it also deeply affects our dedicated hospital workers ⛑️
I know several people battling PTSD, some are frontline workers. I have friends with family who are former first responders, so broken by what they have witnessed in their jobs that they’ve been left with no other option than to give up the career they love because of their devastating PTSD.
The loss of identity & financial ramifications only further add to their suffering.
HIDDEN SCARS will start conversations. It will give people the courage to reach out, just as Justyn so bravely did, & to admit they are struggling & need help.
And when they do, we need to ensure that help is readily available. We need to de stigmatise mental health issues. We need to support those who support us.
And in order for that to happen it is imperative that our government provides the mental health sector with the funding it requires.
Thank you Justyn for speaking up & sharing your powerful story.
Wishing you continued healing ❤️🩹
Shelley. Xx
#hiddenscars #justynbackhouse #ptsd #police #polair #bigskypublishing #recovery #trauma #firstresponder #trauma #mentalhealth
Sadly what we don’t see is the profound depths & impact of trauma that afflicts an increasing number of our amazing police force & first responders 😢
It is time this epidemic is fully brought to public attention & this has been so eloquently done in former POLAIR Tactical Flight Officer Justyn Backhouse’s @hidden_scars_story phenomenal memoir HIDDEN SCARS 💔
‘Being able to see all and often having little ability to influence or control a situation at times left me feeling helpless, and in time, ashamed. Ultimately, sitting 700 feet up in a small bubble above the action did little to save me from the hurt & damage to come.’
Never has a book moved me so deeply, broken me right open & resonated to my core 🥺
It’s visceral. Heartbreaking. But is also a story of grace, incredible humility & hope 🙏🏻
As a former nurse who is still haunted at times by things I saw years ago & cannot un-see, I know it also deeply affects our dedicated hospital workers ⛑️
I know several people battling PTSD, some are frontline workers. I have friends with family who are former first responders, so broken by what they have witnessed in their jobs that they’ve been left with no other option than to give up the career they love because of their devastating PTSD.
The loss of identity & financial ramifications only further add to their suffering.
HIDDEN SCARS will start conversations. It will give people the courage to reach out, just as Justyn so bravely did, & to admit they are struggling & need help.
And when they do, we need to ensure that help is readily available. We need to de stigmatise mental health issues. We need to support those who support us.
And in order for that to happen it is imperative that our government provides the mental health sector with the funding it requires.
Thank you Justyn for speaking up & sharing your powerful story.
Wishing you continued healing ❤️🩹
Shelley. Xx
#hiddenscars #justynbackhouse #ptsd #police #polair #bigskypublishing #recovery #trauma #firstresponder #trauma #mentalhealth
April 7, 2025
To be alive at all is to have scars - John Steinbeck
First responders are expected to stand up to adversity and run toward danger, time after time, and then unwind smoothly and reintegrate into society after their shift is done. They have a front row seat to the best and worst parts of society and it is difficult to appreciate what police are often faced with each day.
Hidden Scars by Justyn Backhouse is a story of resilience in the face of adversity. Within his 25 year policing career Justyn had seen his fair share of policing jobs that no doubt would leave scars on anyone in his line of work.
Each harrowing experience, scared on the brain, leaving an invisible injury.
I have read my fair share of ex police officers’ life stories, and their struggles with PTSD, at times some of them merge together. However I felt Hidden Scars gives the reader a different view. Firstly I really appreciated Justyn’s honestly. He tells his story in a very humble way and does not pump up his own tyres so to speak, which made reading his story more enjoyable.
His tales of his time with PolAir were super interesting and not something I have read about before. I was actually surprised just how much work is involved when your daily office is a Helicopter and how working in the air is not a safeguard to the trauma police on the ground are faced with. Really it is just a different view, a birds eye view.
Diagnosed with PTSD in 2021, Justyn wrote this memoir during treatment. His detailed journey through his mental health struggles is sincere.
First responders are expected to stand up to adversity and run toward danger, time after time, and then unwind smoothly and reintegrate into society after their shift is done. They have a front row seat to the best and worst parts of society and it is difficult to appreciate what police are often faced with each day.
Hidden Scars by Justyn Backhouse is a story of resilience in the face of adversity. Within his 25 year policing career Justyn had seen his fair share of policing jobs that no doubt would leave scars on anyone in his line of work.
Each harrowing experience, scared on the brain, leaving an invisible injury.
I have read my fair share of ex police officers’ life stories, and their struggles with PTSD, at times some of them merge together. However I felt Hidden Scars gives the reader a different view. Firstly I really appreciated Justyn’s honestly. He tells his story in a very humble way and does not pump up his own tyres so to speak, which made reading his story more enjoyable.
His tales of his time with PolAir were super interesting and not something I have read about before. I was actually surprised just how much work is involved when your daily office is a Helicopter and how working in the air is not a safeguard to the trauma police on the ground are faced with. Really it is just a different view, a birds eye view.
Diagnosed with PTSD in 2021, Justyn wrote this memoir during treatment. His detailed journey through his mental health struggles is sincere.
July 19, 2025
I first crossed paths with Justyn in 2011 during an interstate work operation and have been friends ever since. Having the same work history I found this book opened up so many fond memories of my 28 years in the service..as each story was detailed I sat there and smiled as I recalled similar stories I encountered...the book gives you a good insight into the stuff Police Officers deal with on a day to day basis and unfortunately the toll it can take on individuals..as blokes we tend not to open up to others but I take my hat off to Justyn for his courage in writing this fine book about his journey and his determination to get better through expressing himself to the wider audience.
November 14, 2025
I think anyone that is, works with, or cares about a first responder of any persuasion should read this book. So open and honest and a wonderful insight into a world that only those who live it will truly understand.
June 28, 2025
Thank you
August 6, 2025
Fascinating insights into policing and PTSD - wishing Justyn all the best
August 10, 2025
An honest and insightful read. Changes the way I look at the boys in Blue.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews