How to Connect

Mindfulness Essentials #8

by Thich Nhat Hanh

We can restore our inherent connection to nature, each other, our ancestors, and ourselves, and remember our fundamental gift of belonging.

Here is the eighth book in the bestselling Mindfulness Essentials series, a back-to-basics collection from world-renowned Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh that introduces everyone to the essentials of mindfulness practice.

“We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness.”—Thich Nhat Hanh

With our world experiencing the deep effects of loneliness, environmental detachment, and digital overload, this pocket-sized How To book reminds us of our crucial need to connect to ourselves, our ancestors, and our planet. Written with characteristic simplicity and kindness, these wise meditations teach us how to remember, at any time, our fundamental gift of belonging.

Genres: Nonfiction, Spirituality, Buddhism, Self Help, Philosophy, Meditation, Psychology

Audible Audio

Published February 27, 2024

About the author

Thích Nhất Hạnh was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist who then lived in southwest France where he was in exile for many years. Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen (Vietnamese: Thiền) monastery at the age of 16, and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary family name used by all Vietnamese monks and nuns, meaning that they are part of the Shakya (Shakyamuni Buddha) clan. He was often considered the most influential living figure in the lineage of Lâm Tế (Vietnamese Rinzai) Thiền, and perhaps also in Zen Buddhism as a whole.

Reviews

[Dr. Appu Sasidharan (Dasfill) · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author will help us to connect with ourselves and with nature. As this is the last book in the series author is also revising some of the crucial points from the other books in this one.


My favorite three lines from this book.
“If we want to be able to connect with others and understand them, we have to be able to do the same for ourselves first.”

“When you touch one thing with deep awareness, you touch everything.”

“We can practice getting in touch with our inner child, to recognize, embrace, and transform their pain.”



This book perfectly complements all the other seven books in this series and is a befitting end to the mindfulness essentials series.

[Jae · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Unless we can restore the Earth's balance, we will continue to cause destruction, and it will be difficult for life on Earth to continue. We need to realise that the conditions that will help to restore the necessary balance come from inside us, from our own mindfulness, our own level of awareness. Our own awakened consciousness is what can heal the Earth."

-Thich Nhat Hanh

[Selina · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Home is inside us, that there is a peaceful island within that we can go back to with mindful breathing or mindful walking. You can visualize a beautiful island, with trees, clear streams of water, birds, sunshine, and fresh air. One breath, one step is all we need to feel at home and comfortable in the here and now.“

[Seon Ji (Dawn) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's pretty good so far (only 40% in but figure I'd review it early anyway).

It feels fragmented and incomplete I suppose it's because I haven't read the other 7 before it.

Nice read. Good for the soul.

[mads · Rating 3 out of 5]

Actual Rating: 3.5 ✶

[Proof of Ruin · Rating 3 out of 5]

not much new in this one but catch me on my mindful breathing shit at every red light from here on out

[Ankita Shah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tiny book which sheds light on meditation and how its for the greater good. Walking meditation is something I read about for the first time. Would love to incorporate it in my daily life.

[Tibby]

This was not what I thought it would be. There was some good advice about being mindful and how that can help you connect with yourself and with the world as an abstract, but I thought it would be more about actually using mindfulness to truly connect with people and build relationships. I would say the misunderstanding was mine, but when you see a book about connecting and the blurb reads like this one, it sure sounds like getting in right relationship with people.

There was also a lot of what sounded like rehashing of previous books in the series (this is the final one). Mindful walking, meditation, mindful sitting. I think there was a lot more of that than there was about connection.

It wasn't a bad book. I think mindfulness is useful in connecting with yourself, with nature, and with people. I was just looking for more concrete ideas around connection.

[Lili Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick read, though I liked "How to Eat" the best.

Notable lines, in terms of using the language of loving kindness in "Reconciliation by Telephone"-

"Dad, I know you have suffered a lot for many years, and yet I was unable to help you. I only made the situation worse. I've been stubborn and angry because I didn't understand your difficulties. It was not my intention to make you suffer. Please tell me about yourself, about your suffering and difficulties."

[Nina Morales · Rating 5 out of 5]

Recommend. Easy to follow book on staying present. I plan on finishing all of the mindful essential series of thich nhat hanh.

[Nguyễn Thùy Dương · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chuyện về chánh niệm ⏳

Một quyển sách mỏng nhỏ, xúc tích và mang lại nguồn năng lượng tích cực bằng những mẩu chuyện về việc 'kết nối với thực tại'.
Nhẹ nhàng trong mỗi bước chân mình đi, vui vẻ với món mình ăn, thoải mái với những người xung quanh và ưng thuận với tất cả thứ mình đang có. Căn bản là chỉ vậy thôi.
Tất nhiên là quyển sách "How to" thì sẽ còn hơn thế 😆
Sách này là sách tiếng Anh nhe.

Sách này thích hợp cho những bạn mới bắt đầu đọc sách, đặc biệt là sách của thầy Thích Nhất Hạnh. Ngoài ra những bạn nào cần mở rộng ngôn ngữ thiện lành để dạy, nói, tư vấn và truyền đạt thì có thể đọc thêm sách này.
Ngoài ra nữa nữa 😅 ai đọc cũng được.

Lại một lần nữa, một cuốn sách dễ đọc nhưng hiểu được gì từ nó là một câu chuyện khác nha.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

“There are many ways to bring happiness to others right in this moment. We can start with speaking kindly. The way we speak to others can offer them self-confidence, hope, and trust. Mindful speaking is a deep practice. When we choose our words carefully, we can make people happy.“

[Marc Mannheimer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a nice little book of contemplations, short thoughts put together, I presume , from different writings by the delightful monk. One contemplation flows well into the next, leading the mind on a journey, an introduction to thich that hahn's teachings.

[Ker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great for the beginner and the seasoned Buddhist alike. Some of the technical stuff on how to make spiritual collectives can be skipped, but other than that amazing coffee table read and great exercises in the back.

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Prefer his longer books.

[Carlosfelipe Pardo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This whole collection of “how to” is refreshing. In this case it goes into cooperation and, to an extent, in global issues. It is very nice

[Leila Rumeila · Rating 2 out of 5]

My least favorite out of 3 books i've read from this series so far!

[Jov on Earth · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a very short book with short, easy to read and impactful passages. It also offers a meditation guide at the end. I really enjoyed reading it. I think it’s a fundamental book for mindful living.

[B · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a grounding reminder. Simple, short, nice examples. Enjoying this author.

[Yiling · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stopping for a red light " when we see a red light or stop sign, we can smile and say thank you, because it's helping us reconnect with ourselves and the present moment"

[Will Schmitt]

I hope to recognize moments of pause, stillness, and silence as opportunities to reconnect to myself and this moment. I also hope to understand that so much of my experience and suffering is universal! There’s so many ways we can connect if we just let ourselves do so.

[Britnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hanhs How to books are absolute gems! Love this meditation series!

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thich Nhat Hanh's wisdom always feeds my soul, broadens my mindset, brings my body peace, and reconfigures my brain.

[Kyle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Meditation and mindfulness practices take time and patience, and I don’t always have those things. I’m usually not thinking about my breathing when I’m driving or walking. I should start doing that.

The thing I'm most grateful for with this book is giving me new language to talk about the past and some of the hurt that lives there. It isn't trauma, not for me. It's more like knots that need to be untangled.
"Some of us cannot think about our father or mother without feeling anger or sadness. The suffering we experience as children accumulates and forms blocks of pain, anger, and frustration in our consciousness that tie us up and obstruct our freedom. These internal knots have the power to drive us and dictate our behavior."

And of course, I can't think about being tied up in knots without thinking about What about Bob?, the classic Bill Murray film where he gets tied up by his therapist and says "Baby steps, untie your knots."

[Katrina Sark · Rating 4 out of 5]

p.17 – Coming Home to Ourselves – In daily life, we are often carried away by our feelings, perceptions, and thoughts. We are seldom free. […] We don’t have sovereignty over ourselves or our situation. It is so important to be able to come home to ourselves and to cease being the victim of our circumstances. Coming back to ourself with our in-breath and out-breath is the basic practice of peace.

p.22 – Connecting Past, Present, and Future – The best way of taking care of the future is to take care of the present, because the future is made of the present.

p.23 – True Communication – If we are unable to be in touch with ourselves, to understand ourselves, to know the cause of our suffering, fear, and anger, then we’re not in communication with ourselves. If we can’t communicate with ourselves, how can we communicate with another person? Coming back to ourselves, we get in touch with our body, feelings, perceptions, and our suffering, and we develop our capacity to listen to ourselves and then to be able to listen to others.

p.48 – Alleviating Worry – We can say, “Hello my little worry, I know you are there. I hear you and I will take good care of you.” With the energy of mindfulness, we recognize and embrace our worry, our agitation, our fear, and our anger, tenderly, just as we would hold and calm a crying baby who is sad, angry, or afraid.

p.51 – Listening to Our Inner Child – Whenever you need to, you can sit and breathe with the child. “Breathing in, I am here for you. Breathing out, I will take good care of you.” Talk to your child several times a day, and healing will take place. Embrace your inner child tenderly, reassure the child that you’ll never let them down or leave them alone again.

p.53 – Listening to Others – We listen with only one purpose, which is to give them the chance to speak out what is in their heart and to suffer less. We refrain from interrupting or attempting to correct what we hear. When we see and understand the other person’s suffering, compassion is born in our heart, and we no longer blame them for their behaviour. We only want to help and bring relief. We can do this by listening deeply, with compassion, and without judgment.

p.59 – Reconciliation Takes Place Within – You may believe that reconciliation is only possible by meeting with the other person. But actually, reconciliation takes place inside us. Accepting responsibility for our actions is the first step. When you can accept your unskillfulness and shortcomings, compassion and insight are born in your heart. If you have not achieved reconciliation within yourself, it will be difficult to reconcile with the other person. With internal reconciliation, peace and love become possible. When you embody peace and love, you can change the situation more easily.

Practices for Connecting

p.110 – Guided Meditation:
• Breathing in, I am aware of my in-breath.
• Breathing out, I am aware of my out-breath.
• In, out.

• Breathing in, my breath becomes deep.
• Breathing out, my breath becomes slow.
• Deep, slow

• Aware of my body, I breathe in.
• Relaxing my body, I breathe out.
• Aware of body, relaxing body.

• Aware of my feelings, I breathe in.
• Calming my feelings, I breathe out.
• Aware of feelings, calming feelings.

• Aware of my thoughts, I breathe in.
• Gladdening my thoughts, I breathe out.
• Aware of thoughts, gladdening thoughts.

• Breathing in, I feel happy to be alive.
• Breathing out, I smile to life.
• Happy, smiling.

p.114 – Healing the Wounded Child Meditation:
• Breathing in, I follow my in-breath.
• Breathing out, I follow my out-breath.

• Breathing in, I calm my body.
• Breathing out, I smile to my body and relax.

• Breathing in, I see myself as a five-year-old child.
• Breathing out, I smile to the five-year-old child in me.

• Seeing how innocent, vulnerable, and fragile I was at the age of five, I breathe in.
• Comforting my five-year-old self, I breathe out.

• Feeling the suffering and loneliness of myself at the age of five, I breathe in.
• Soothing and embracing my five-year-old, I breathe out.

• Recognizing my five-year-old’s strong emotions, I breathe in.
• Calming my five-year-old’s strong emotions, I breathe out.

• Feeling love and compassion for myself at the age of five, I breathe in.
• Accepting myself as I am, I breathe out.

Now do the same meditation for you mother, father, or other person who you think has hurt you in the past. Not only will you feel more connection to them, but love, understanding, and compassion will be born in your heart.

p.119 – Conscious Breathing, A peaceful Refuge – Out breathing is a stable, solid ground in which we can take refuge. No matter what is going on inside us, our breathing is always with us, like a faithful friend. Whenever we’re carried away by our thinking, when we’re overwhelmed by strong emotions, or when our mind is restless and dispersed, we can return to our breathing. We bring our body and mind together and we collect, calm, and anchor our mind. We’re aware of the air coming in and going out of our body. With awareness of our breathing, it naturally becomes light, calm, and peaceful. At any time of the day or night, whether we’re walking, driving, working in the garden, or sitting at our desk, we can return to the peaceful refuge of our own breath.

[Jillian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another excellent novella in the Mindfulness Essentials series. While it’s the eighth book by publication date, it can easily be read in any order.

This installment explores the idea of connection, not just with other people, but also with nature and, most importantly, with ourselves. Through short chapters filled with stories, allegories, and simple lessons, Hanh offers practical guidance on living with more presence and compassion. The style is light and accessible, making it easy to pick up and absorb. I listened to the audiobook and found the narration warm and calming, which added to the experience.

This book is perfect for anyone looking for a gentle refresher on Buddhist or mindfulness practices, or for those just beginning their journey. With mantras and breathing exercises woven throughout, it’s a soothing and inspiring read that encourages deeper awareness in daily life.

Always an enjoyable experience! I’m already looking forward to How to Focus, book nine in the series.

Favorite quotes:
“The best way of taking care of the future is to take care of the present, because the future is made of the present.”

“My left hand never fights my right hand. Both hands enjoy harmony and understanding.”

“When we can see ourselves and others as beautiful, unique trees and flowers, we can truly grow to understand and love one another. One flower may bloom in early spring, and another in late summer. One tree may bear many fruits and another tree may offer refreshing shade. No one plant is greater than another.”

My enjoyment 4.5/5

[Melda Ece Kelemcisoy]

This is the final book of the Mindfulness Essentials series. I deeply admire this little series of booklets, especially How to Connect and How to Love.

Favourite thought:

Thich Nhat Hanh emphasises that real change and awakening in society can only come through a shift in our collective consciousness, and this can only come through realising the interdependent nature of reality.

Some favourite quotes I noted:

"Unless we can restore the Earth's balance, we will continue to cause destruction, and it will be difficult for life on Earth to continue. We need to realise that the conditions that will help to restore the necessary balance come from inside us, from our own mindfulness, our own level of awareness. Our own awakened consciousness is what can heal the Earth."

"There is no difference between concern for the planet and concern for ourselves and our own well-being. There is no difference between healing the planet and healing ourselves."

"Before we can listen to another person, we need to spend time listening to ourselves."

[Joi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ya es el octavo de la saga.
Es tan difícil conectar con nosotros mismos, nuestra comunidad y nuestro mundo. Con más formas de comunicarnos que nunca, Thich Nhat Han muestra que las conexiones verdaderamente cruciales para nuestra existencia son también los recursos más accesibles, pero se pierden en el ruido del cacofónico panorama actual de necesidades y deseos.
Las conexiones reales se encuentran en el momento presente, donde el pasado ya está resuelto y el futuro aún está por escribirse. A través de la respiración, aquietamos la mente y descubrimos las verdades que sabemos que son evidentes en cada momento, pero que están nubladas por el bagaje del pasado y los temores por el futuro. En pocas palabras, salir de nuestras propias cabezas nos permite escuchar y ver la realidad.
En el mundo actual, donde todos hablan, pero nadie puede escuchar, las conexiones fallan antes de tener la oportunidad. En "Cómo conectar", Thich Nhat Hahn nos muestra que podemos conectar... pero conectar comienza por escucharnos a nosotros mismos para escuchar a los demás, ver más allá de los filtros que oscurecen nuestra visión y tener la determinación de superar las divisiones creadas por nuestro mundo acelerado.

Citas
■ "Respirando, me siento feliz de estar vivo, respirando, sonrío a la vida. Feliz, sonriendo”. [Pág ]

[Juan Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know how to explain this but every time I’ve picked the book to read it I’ve felt abundant bliss… regardless the place I read at, whether it was in the forest, outside my doorstep, in the car while I was waiting for someone, sitting on the couch…. I’ve felt how his wisdom created a space in my mind where I’ve found myself calm.

I would recommend this book to everyone who is lacking ‘connection’… I am pretty sure this will be a significant aid on the journeys of the ones that would pick this great piece.

From my personal experience, it helped me a lot, it brought my connection back, my essence, myself, me. :)

[Silverprince · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love to have a mini-size pocket book to carry around with me, and this book served its purpose.

It's a very light read and almost every sentence is meaningful. As you read you become more aware of your surroundings, physical body and internal emotions.

I give it 5 stars because the teachings are easy to understand and do. It makes self-improvement feel so effortless.

The book teachings that I (try to) practice are being mindful when doing basic things (for when I can remember to be), being aware of my breathing and remembering the beauty of the world that makes me smile.

Breathe in the joy and love, and breathe out the pain and suffering.