Ordinary on Purpose: Surrendering Perfect and Discovering Beauty Amid the Rubble

by Mikala Albertson

Beauty is found in the ordinary

The world is shouting at us to be more. Strive. Achieve. Overachieve. Never stop pushing. As a family practice doctor, wife, and mother, Mikala Albertson appeared to be living a "perfect" life, but really her whole world was falling apart. Married seven years to an alcohol and drug addict while raising two young children and finishing residency, Mikala eventually reached a breaking point. And surrendered. In sifting through the shattered pieces of her life, she realized she had been chasing something that doesn't exist. Perfect is pretend. And what she desperately needed to embrace was ordinary. A good, hard, messy, gritty, lovely, ordinary life.

In Ordinary on Purpose, Mikala shares her heartfelt journey in a raw and revealing way as she invites you to lay down your own endless chase for perfection and embrace this beautiful, messy life exactly as it is with our perfect, loving God right by your side. What would it look like to stop pretending to be "perfect" and be ordinary? Instead of always feeling overwhelmed and alone, you might discover the beauty of a good, hard life grounded in the radiant hope of God's unending love. Life happens in the ordinary, after all.

Genres: Nonfiction, Christian, Spirituality, Memoir, Christian Non Fiction

Audible Audio

Published March 8, 2022

Reviews

[Kelsey Kraft · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book wasn’t what I expected, it was so much more 🥹😭💜 As a perfectionist and someone who is constantly pushing myself to do (and be) more, this is exactly what I needed. Her life stories gave me all the feels and I definitely ugly cried through a good portion of this book. I’ll be embracing the ordinary now 🧘🏼‍♀️💕

[Traci Rhoades · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the author's honesty about some of the hardest times of her life. She inspires us to name these time, face them in order to heal. She's found peace in the normal, everyday life, and that grounding makes so much sense to me. A great read.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of meeting Katie Dilse, a motivational speaker, who helped encourage this author to follow her passion to become a writer. We all have a story to tell. As a mom in her 30’s, I so appreciate the messages in this book. The beauty in the ordinary!

[Katie Dilse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw and detailed journey through a life of expectations unmet, plans crushed and spirits broken, yet an unblemished story of strength, trust and faith through all the things life throws at us. This author performs an open hearted surgery on her life’s secrets. A story of unrelenting drive to never stop learning, or ever quit growing.

[Esther Goetz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like a big long inhale of grace and a huge exhale of love. I am so glad to be reading it and I find myself pouring over every chapter like it's a long-lost friend.

[Danika Delello · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ordinary on Purpose by Dr. Mikala Albertson, isn’t the book you might expect. I mean that literally. The title led me to expect something a fair bit different than what I got. 


I expected Albertson to address the great pressure that Millenials (myself included) feel to do something Big and Meaningful with our lives. We seem to have internalized a belief that only a great, notable, world-changing life has value, and that leading a life of quiet simplicity would be a waste. 


I thought Dr. Albertson was going to focus on countering that cultural assumption and advocate for the simple life. To be fair, that is part of her message. However, “ordinary” is not contrasted so much with “extraordinary”, but with “perfect.” 


Ordinary on Purpose is about giving up the endless struggle for perfect, Pinterest-worthy lives that look just how they’re supposedly “supposed” to look and exchanging that struggle for freedom and joy. 


While it took me a few chapters to get over my expectations for Albertson’s book, once I did, I was deeply moved and impressed with her commitment to a life of honesty and vulnerability. She tells the story of her addiction to perfection – to looking like she had it all together – and how she gave that up for a life that is messy and flawed, but real and raw. In doing so, she found real joy and deep connection. 


As befits a book on living honestly and vulnerably, Albertson holds nothing back in telling her own story. From her husband’s battle with drug addiction to her experience of sexual abuse as a child, Albertson shares her story with gut-wrenching simplicity. The beautiful power of her message is found here. Readers can see their own heartbreaks and scars reflected and validated in Albertson’s.  


They can see hope written there, too. When Albertson embraces the flawed imperfection of her life and begins to share her story with others, her healing journey begins. Her life – though still messy, as she freely admits – fills with incredible joy. 


While much of the world tells us to hustle and scramble for the extraordinary, Ordinary on Purpose calls us to be still, slow down, and enjoy simple things. Society urges us to put on our best faces for the ‘gram, to put filters over our imperfections, and to plaster on a smile for the world even when we’re breaking inside. Albertson reminds us that no one is perfect, no one is exempt from pain and heartache. She urges us to own our flaws and share our imperfect stories, for in doing so, we’ll find true connection and meaning. 


Dr. Albertson’s story is incredibly vulnerable and moving. Her honesty is inspiring. And her joy in the ordinary life that she cultivates for herself is contagious. 


However, I struggled for much of the book to see the justification for her message. She advocated honesty, contentment, and acceptance, without providing a clear reason for why that was ok–what made it safe and right and good. It’s only the grace of Jesus that gives us real freedom and security in our brokenness, but that didn’t seem clear in Albertson’s writing. 


Although she mentions the good news of Christ’s redemption briefly in her final chapters, I would have loved to see more Gospel focus from the very beginning. I kept wanting her to ground her beautiful ideas to the truth of the Bible. Perhaps those connections were implicit for her, but it seemed to me like they were missing.


That said, Ordinary on Purpose tells a beautiful story and speaks truths that are sorely needed in our world. Albertson found freedom from her life of misery by giving up perfection and pretense, and sharing her real, raw, honest story with others. Her story encourages readers to trade unattainable ideals for an ordinary reality, and in doing so, discover great joy. 



(This review was originally posted on my personal book review blog, anakforbooks.com)

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Ordinary on Purpose, Mikala Albertson explored the power of laying down the need for a perfect life and instead learning to appreciate and finding the beauty in everyday life. She opened up in the book about how she tried to hide from others about her failing marriage and how her husband was addicted to drugs and alcohol for over seven years. She was also raising two children at the time. She begins the book by sharing how she tried to blend in and to be a chameleon in high school and college. She strived to be perfect and to fit in whatever circle she was currently in. She got good grades and went on to become a doctor and appeared to be a good student. But she also shared how she would do pot, drink, and do things to follow the circle of her peers. She opened up about how worried she was that she would discover her husband has died because of his addiction. She shared how she tried to heal him and to pull him out of his pit. She revealed how attending meeting and opening up about her troubled marriage and her husband addictions she was able to get healing in ways she didn’t expect. She was finally able to stop pretending that her life was all together and perfect. She revealed how God was there for her and how He assisted her in forgiving and healing from the pain.


I would recommend this inspiring book to anyone who is tired of pretending to have their life all together. This book will remind readers that nobody has a perfect life and we can find healing when we learn to surrender and embrace the ordinary in life. I liked how open and raw she was in sharing with readers details about her marriage and how she had dealt with her husband being addicted. I immensely loved how she revealed how she found healing and forgiveness and was able to repair their marriage. I also loved how she shared how he was able to break free from his addictions. This book is powerful in assisting readers on learning to break free from perfection.




"I received this book free from the publisher, Bethany House/ Chosen for my honest review.”

[Aurelia Mast-glick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surrendering Perfect and Discovering Beauty Amid the Rubble

Mikala just wants life to be perfect--she has it all mapped out exactly how she wanted it to go, exactly how she envisioned her life to turn out. But it has all gone badly awry. Married to a drug-and-alcohol dependent husband, her world comes crashing down at her feet. And once it unravels her, Mikala learns to stand up and to really live the life she has been given, to really live relying on God to give her the strength.

When her husband goes away to rehab, Mikala doesn't know how the story will end and she is tired of holding it all together. She can't just put all the blame on her husband, she has to learn how to give up her perfect life and embrace her ordinary life.

This book is the story of that journey. It's the story of learning to embrace the "sunset moments" as Mikala calls them. "Because even on the darkest and hardest and saddest of days, beauty appears. Often where I least expect it. And even if that beauty is only fleeting, like the sunset, it is my daily reminder of God's love." I really like that idea of looking for the beauty in the everyday and in the fleeting. Life is ordinary, but it can be so beautiful.

Another quote I really needed was this one: "He chose me for messy motherhood. Because He knows that despite my imperfections and the countless ways I'll get it all wrong, I'm just the right mom for the job."

I enjoyed this book. There were a few things that gave me pause in it. It did feel like Mikala ran the house on her own and I wondered how active her husband really was in their lives, but at the end of the book she brought him into the picture a little bit more. Our beliefs would be somewhat different as well, but over all this is a good book and a good reminder to accept the imperfections and messiness of life because that is where the real living takes place.

I received this book from Bethany House and was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are my own.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here are my favorite thoughts and take aways from this book:

“Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not condoning. Forgiveness never agrees there was no hurt or pain or ongoing consequences for an awful, unspeakable injustice. Forgiveness never ever means I was not forever changed. But forgiveness is an absolutely essential path to fully healing.”

“The cost of forgiveness is high, but the payoff is higher: health, peace, wholeheartedness, grace. It goes on: resilience, maturity, compassion, depth. God raises us back up, mighty in love, through the pain, through the mess, stronger than before. Forgiveness does not erase your past—a healed memory is not a deleted memory—but it does enlarge your future, increase your love, and set you free.”
—Jen Hatmaker

“It’s clear to me God uses broken people. He repairs their hearts. He stitches them back together, and as He does so, He adds a little something extra.”

“We’re told Real Life will begin out there in the future somewhere. Someday. But it’s not true. Because when we slow down and stop chasing…when we let go of doing all the things because we’ve been told over and over, that’s what we’re supposed to do…when we sit in the stillness and silence…when we somehow tune out all the noise of the world and listen to God’s whispers on the breeze, it is then we begin to realize what we really love, and discover who it is we really are. It’s then we can find the life God truly intended for each of us to live. Real, messy, beautiful. And it’s right here. Real Life is right now.”

[Liz Newman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so many things: beautiful, encouraging, insightful, honest, vulnerable, raw, relatable, heartbreaking, heartwarming. I was drawn in immediately as I discovered the author’s passion for helping other hurting hearts. She shared her story with an underlying purpose of leading others to Jesus in such an approachable way. Her personal testimony was so genuine and real. She so bravely spoke about her trauma, and I know it’ll help others heal and know they aren’t alone. Her words took me on an emotional journey as I experienced life through her eyes. Her story inspired and encouraged me to stop striving and to start seeking the beautiful in the ordinary of my everyday life. To seek Jesus in the messy, the mundane, and the magical. To seek love, community, and forgiveness right where I am. To focus not on the arriving but on the becoming. Ordinary is a beautiful life. Ordinary is a blessed life. I learned so much from reading this book, and it filled me with a sense of deep comfort and hope as well. This book will leave your heart in better shape than when you started it. I highly recommend it.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ordinary On Purpose is a women’s issues book by author Mikala Albertson, MD. Ms. Albertson is a stay-at-home mom who is passionate about Jesus.

Ordinary On Purpose invites all women to lay down perfection and strive for the ordinary. There are two parts to the book. (1) Surrendering “Perfect”, (2) Discovering Beauty Amid The Rubble.

I believe the thesis for Ordinary On Purpose is stated in the title of the second part of the book. “Discovering Beauty Amid The Rubble.”

Ms. Albertson gets heavy, raw, and real writing some things I didn’t feel comfortable with. However, for any woman who has ever been abused, I appreciated Ms. Albertson’s honesty. I believe Ordinary On Purpose is well-written, so, therefore, I give Ordinary On Purpose 4*/5*

Disclaimer: I receive complimentary books from various sources, including, publishers, publicists, authors, and/or NetGalley. I am not required to write a positive review and have not received any compensation. The opinions shared here are my own entirely. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

[Korin · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many people, myself included, fall into the "perfection" trap, many times without even realizing it. Mikala Albertson suggests that there is a better way, one where we realize that we are all imperfect, struggling human beings living this beautifully ordinary life together.


This book is perfect for today, where the internet constantly shows us how "wrong" we are living our lives. The author hasn't had an easy life- her husband was a drug addict for many years- which makes her emotional story relatable, and the idea that life wasn't meant to be perfect, all the more powerful.

I just loved the graceful way Mikala wrote her story. Many of the passages were lyrical and so beautifully worded, and the inviting tone that she used made her feel like a friend offering a hug.

I'm so glad I picked up this book, and I know many other women are going to be impacted by Mikala's words.

I voluntarily received this book from the publisher in order to write an honest review. All opinions are truly my own.

[Randi Gruver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really, really enjoyed this book. A lot. I have 10 different "bookmarks" still left behind so I can quickly reread parts that truly spoke to me.
When I got this book, I jumped right in. I've laughed and cried, paused to reflect, and laughed and cried a bunch more. An incredible page turner speaking right to my soul as if Mikala and I were old friends chatting at the kitchen island with cups of coffee and undecorated sugar cookies.

Once I got to chapter 18, I stopped reading. It seemed to be under protest - in not wanting the book to come to an end, and at the same time unwilling to agree that I, too, had an ordinary life. For as long as I can remember, I was so sure I'd be important. A rockstar, or a scientist that made a miraculous discovery, or a doctor that cured the deadliest disease - you get the idea. To finish the book felt like I might have to declare to the world that I wasn't extraordinary, but ordinary.

I've finished the book. And I just might be ordinary. Ordinary on purpose.

[Linsey Driskill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book. In this book, Mikala shares her life story – one that has included a lot of difficulty, as well as celebrations. What I love about it is the raw and realness all throughout it, and how it invites us to be more real. It leaves you with a desire to enjoy simple things and to be grateful for the everyday things right in front of you. It’s beautifully written, inspires you to live for what matters, to find fullness in Jesus, to be okay with being broken at times and not having it all together, and to enjoy the sweet moments we do have here. This book is for people going through hard seasons and people in good seasons….no matter what season you’re in, it really helps you to be okay right where you are and with taking that next step. Mikala, thank you for being so vulnerable in sharing your story and inspiring me!

[Sydnei Kaplan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am treasuring every word as I've been blessed with early access to this beautiful book! Even though I've been following Mikala on Facebook for years, this book...her honest and deeply touching story...shares so much more about what it means to be "ordinary on purpose" and how we can get there. As readers, we feel as if we've been privileged to experience Mikala's life alongside her, to walk her path and wish we could have offered support and love many times over. Through her bravery and strength, WE discover our own inner strength. As Mikala finds healing and the beauty in the ordinary, we are graced with the same. I both cannot wait to finish this book and don't want it to end! Get yourself a copy...you'll be so glad you did.

[Allison Labovitz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. It was a quick read and the author's story was interesting and in many ways relatable. I like the autobiography/memoir genre as a rule and this book maintained my interest. The message she delivers is both necessary and timely. She mentions a couple of harrowing and challenging things she needed to navigate and overcome. I wish she had gone into greater detail about how she was able to reconcile, forgive and move-on with some of her life's biggest challenges. However, I think she did a good job of being as transparent as she could while respecting the "stories" of others involved. If you can not lean-in to people's religious convictions then you may not find her message as meaningful to you.

[Jamie Manzo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gem! I will be revisiting this book as it is now part of my forever library so I can grow a little more each time I read it! Each truth the author shares makes you feel to much more connected to yourself and others! Her words bring me closer to God and I am so inspired by her stories to stop pretending to be perfect and instead embrace our true selves/lives. Finding beauty in the ordinary… on purpose! Handing it over to God and trusting his plan. I especially relate as a mother and trusting God with my kids and teaching my kids to trust God as well (however, this book is relatable even if you don’t have kids!). This book makes a great gift for others too! Spread the love!

[Michele Wood]

I read Ordinary On Purpose, by Mikala Albertson on a single, best spent day. It is heart-achingly rich in language and lesson.
This book is it’s own treasure. It is tough, tender and true. I purchased 5 before reading and NOW will order more. Perfect for Mother’s Day or anyone struggling with comparison, and keeping up appearances or striving for perfection.

Mikala’s beautiful book let’s me know that is never too late, to forgive, to love, to be truthful and that every story has value.

#ordinaryonpurpose #lifehappensintheordinary

[Lisa Tarbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel so fortunate that I stumbled upon Mikala's blog by accident. Everything I have read has spoken directly to my heart and made me feel less alone on the journey called motherhood, this book is no exception. Her writing is so honest and transparent, it feels like you are talking with your best friend over coffee. Most people aren't brave enough to share their true self with anyone, let alone the whole world. How privileged we are that Mikala was brave enough to share. This book will leave a beautiful impression on anyone who reads it!

[Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know when you're reading something and you're just like, "Oh my gosh, she gets me." Every chapter, every word, feels like something I could have written. The pursuit of perfection, the determination to fix it all, the commitment to compliance, and the disappointment when none if it works like you just knew it would. Every chapter is just so honest, humble, authentic. In a world where I feel like all I see is either the perfectly wonderful or the heartbreakingly awful, Mikala gives me the beauty and hope of the ordinary middle. Buy it. Now.

[Shannon Theurer · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this current culture, we all sometimes find ourselves trying to "measure up" to what we think everyone is is doing. Instead we should strive to be who God believes we already are. This book is all about how God takes our "ordinary" and makes it extraordinary! One of the best I have ever read on this topic and I haven't even finished it yet. I will be buying copies for several friends. Well worth the read.

[Jillian Benfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is transformative. It’s real and honest and raw and invites us to lay down our need to prove ourselves, the need to be more for the stage that is the world, and to instead see ourselves as loved. To live loved. And to live in the ordinary. This author has been through so much, and she has earned the accolades that would deem her a teacher, an expert, but she writes to us as a friend. You will feel seen and you will see yourself, your life differently after reading this book.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mikala Albetson's debut is so beautifully written. She uses these pages to spill out both beauty and ashes, making each chapter relatable, even if the reader has never had the same experiences.
We all have trauma and triumphs, and Albertson pours out her own for the world to see.
This book hold so much encouragement and I was inspired to look at myself in a different way - to love myself as I was created, not as just a conglomerate of bumps in the road.

[Brianne Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gift to every perfectionist who is always striving to have it all together, to fit in to the coveted social circles, to have a perfect home, perfect marriage, perfect job, perfect kids. . . The author gracefully walks the reader through a process of letting go of perfection and discovering the love, peace, and JOY that are hidden in the ordinary.

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mikala’s book speaks straight to the heart of what it is to be human. Anyone who has longed for that magical place of perfection and belonging will see themselves in the pages of her story as she finds herself and God in the rubble. I loved it so much that as soon as I finished, I started over again.

[toni mcgee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mikaela speaks to every person who ever questioned, am I doing this thing called life, right? She has gone through some incredible struggles and has come through to the other side. Not easily, but through years of trying. Never giving up hope, through the love of God. The power of prayers. Many prayers.

[Sherry White · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this book down!! It is heartfelt and raw and beautiful. I felt every word IN MY SOUL. Mikala tells her story in a way that makes you cry and rejoice right along with her all the while relating it all to your own story of "searching for perfect." I related so much to Mikala's story of chasing perfect and love how she encourages us to let it go and embrace the ordinary.

[Ashia Pollen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely five stars even though parts of her descriptions of her husbands drug addiction and her own experiences of abuse as a child are a bit lengthy and more in depth than necessary (don't listen to this with kids around).

This book spoke peace to my heart in so many ways. Contentment in the ordinary. Man I need that. I love this book.

[Calleen Petersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Need a book that just makes you feel great about your ordinary life? One that you can see the beauty of the author’s heart and soul on every page? And every time you set the book down you breathe a sigh of pleasure because she just makes you know everything, no matter how truly awful things are right now, is going to be okay?
This is your book. Mikala writes about addictions, motherhood and life.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was different than I expected, more of a memoir than Christian living. I appreciated the author’s encouragement to stop striving for perfection and live a simple, “ordinary” life.

A couple of things to note: the book talks about drug use, child sexual assault, and disordered eating. The author is also a big fan of Jen Hatmaker and Glennon Doyle.