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How to Un-marry a Millionaire
RICKY HART wants to the get the hell out of small-town Arizona to escape the fate of generations of women in her family - a boring, nothing future. Inspired by Basia Johnson, a penniless cook who married into the Johnson and Johnson fortune, Ricky sets in motion a plan to get inside a rich old man's house. Once there, she will do the rest. She is twenty-two years old, blonde and unashamedly brazen. And she is ready to make a deal with the Devil. What she hasn't counted on is seventy-year-old SANDFORD KEANE, the Arizona Copper King, a notorious sonofabitch with an agenda of his own, and a family with a long history of other ambitious wives. One of them is SUZANNE NELSON-DRUMMOYNE-GRAFF-CARMEL, a serial marrier who has finally found love. Unfortunately it is not with her latest husband. At war with her mother-in-law, PHILIPPA, a legendary old viper and trophy wife of another era, Suzanne is thirty-seven and terrified that she is about to hit her "use-by" date. From the richest enclaves of Connecticut and Manhattan to the wilds of the Arizona desert and New Mexico, the novel brings these women together on a raunchy, life-changing encounter that will make them question the roles they have chosen for themselves, and the high price they have all paid to live the pampered life of a rich man's wife.
208 pages, Paperback
First published July 30, 2014
2 people are currently reading
308 people want to read
About the author
Billie Morton
3 books2 followersBillie Morton is a British screenplay writer and film maker who originally set out to make documentaries about tribal life. Along the way she took a detour to California where she spent many years filming the natives and their social customs.
How To Un-Marry a Millionaire is her first novel. It was inspired by meeting young – and not so young – women across the globe all busily performing a colourful array of mating dances. Some were dancing as fast as they could. Others were looking to take a little time and add love to the dream. And some were grabbing the microphone at the nearest karaoke bar to belt out Tina Turner’s classic – What’s Love Got To Do With It?
These were the ones she chose to write about from her new home in the rainforest of northern Australia.
How To Un-Marry a Millionaire is her first novel. It was inspired by meeting young – and not so young – women across the globe all busily performing a colourful array of mating dances. Some were dancing as fast as they could. Others were looking to take a little time and add love to the dream. And some were grabbing the microphone at the nearest karaoke bar to belt out Tina Turner’s classic – What’s Love Got To Do With It?
These were the ones she chose to write about from her new home in the rainforest of northern Australia.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
October 26, 2014
How to Un-Marry a Millionaire by Billie Morton is a 2014 Booktrope publication. I was provided a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book is certainly off the beaten path. Quirky and funny with a zany cast of characters all seemingly devoid of a moral compass when it comes to maintaining and living the high life.
Three very different women, Phillipa, Suzanne, and Ricky are all out to maintain or achieve a life of extreme wealth and leisure. Phillipa is an old woman who is quite wealthy, but in bad health. She is in extreme denial about her son's homosexuality and was relieved by his marriage to Suzanne. Suzanne is a serial trophy wife and married her current husband, nicknamed “Boy”, to maintain the lifestyle she has grown accustomed to. Ricky has schemed and plotted her entire life to get herself a wealthy, much older man for a husband. She finally succeeds, but was all the money worth it in the end?
Against all odds these three women wind up at the same place at the same time. This event will shape and change them forever as they forge an unlikely bond. There were some incredibly funny lines in this book and I actually guffawed out loud a couple of times. I can understand this type of humor, but I do warn you this book is unlike any I've ever read. If you have a taste for satire you will really enjoy this story and will see where the author was going with it. For some it might be an acquired taste. I did think the set up leading into the second part of the book was overlong since what takes place in the second part was really where it got good. It was important for us to see where each woman was coming from by giving us insight into how they came to this point in their lives, but it I got the drift early on and was beginning to wonder where all this was leading. Well, I never would have guessed the outcome, but I thought it was a marvelous conclusion. So, overall I'm going with 3.5 rounded to four stars on this one.
This book is certainly off the beaten path. Quirky and funny with a zany cast of characters all seemingly devoid of a moral compass when it comes to maintaining and living the high life.
Three very different women, Phillipa, Suzanne, and Ricky are all out to maintain or achieve a life of extreme wealth and leisure. Phillipa is an old woman who is quite wealthy, but in bad health. She is in extreme denial about her son's homosexuality and was relieved by his marriage to Suzanne. Suzanne is a serial trophy wife and married her current husband, nicknamed “Boy”, to maintain the lifestyle she has grown accustomed to. Ricky has schemed and plotted her entire life to get herself a wealthy, much older man for a husband. She finally succeeds, but was all the money worth it in the end?
Against all odds these three women wind up at the same place at the same time. This event will shape and change them forever as they forge an unlikely bond. There were some incredibly funny lines in this book and I actually guffawed out loud a couple of times. I can understand this type of humor, but I do warn you this book is unlike any I've ever read. If you have a taste for satire you will really enjoy this story and will see where the author was going with it. For some it might be an acquired taste. I did think the set up leading into the second part of the book was overlong since what takes place in the second part was really where it got good. It was important for us to see where each woman was coming from by giving us insight into how they came to this point in their lives, but it I got the drift early on and was beginning to wonder where all this was leading. Well, I never would have guessed the outcome, but I thought it was a marvelous conclusion. So, overall I'm going with 3.5 rounded to four stars on this one.
October 8, 2014
****POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT****
“It was time to channel her inner Jackie Onassis.” –Ricky
“You can’t steal something that’s sitting there waiting to be grabbed.” –Suzanne
“It’s Phillipa, your mother-in-law. Whose face have you been sitting on this morning?” -Phillippa
Ricky dreams of becoming a ‘star’ in the production of her own life when her sister teases, “…you could go to Los Angeles and get paid to be a big fat drama queen.” Ricky constantly reads articles of the rich and famous and vows to find her a millionaire husband with carefully laid plans. Ricky’s plans are very calculated and she gets more than she bargained for when agreeing to marry Sandy for whom she is caregiver during his rehabilitation.
Suzanne is two husbands later seeking a third when she realizes being thirty-seven with varicose veins might be a little too old to snare another rich man to take care of her. As she works her way into an arranged marriage Suzanne falls for an exotic looking man who is not what he seems on the outside.
Phillipa is the a widowed mother-in-law who detests her daughter-in-law every way possible since marrying her son JD “Boy” Carmel and time has not put her at ease. Phillipa wants only one thing from her and that is the grandchild she has longed for quite a while. If Boy and his wife cannot conceive she will to any length to make her wish come true.
These women began to wonder whether the life of the rich and famous is worth the pains of keeping the lavish lifestyle they are now living. With personalities clashing all over the place, Ricky, Suzanne, and Phillipa are connected in ways unbeknownst to them and will realize it sooner than later once they spend a ‘girls’ day at the spa.
How to Un-Marry a Millionaire is an enjoyable read until the eco-terrorist plot that did not align with the rest of the of the book. The semi-plot felt out of place and without it I would give a higher rating of a definite four. I recommend to readers who love chick-lit and drama novels over a lazy weekend.
I received this book free from CLP Blog Tours in exchange for an honest opinion in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission Guidelines.
“It was time to channel her inner Jackie Onassis.” –Ricky
“You can’t steal something that’s sitting there waiting to be grabbed.” –Suzanne
“It’s Phillipa, your mother-in-law. Whose face have you been sitting on this morning?” -Phillippa
Ricky dreams of becoming a ‘star’ in the production of her own life when her sister teases, “…you could go to Los Angeles and get paid to be a big fat drama queen.” Ricky constantly reads articles of the rich and famous and vows to find her a millionaire husband with carefully laid plans. Ricky’s plans are very calculated and she gets more than she bargained for when agreeing to marry Sandy for whom she is caregiver during his rehabilitation.
Suzanne is two husbands later seeking a third when she realizes being thirty-seven with varicose veins might be a little too old to snare another rich man to take care of her. As she works her way into an arranged marriage Suzanne falls for an exotic looking man who is not what he seems on the outside.
Phillipa is the a widowed mother-in-law who detests her daughter-in-law every way possible since marrying her son JD “Boy” Carmel and time has not put her at ease. Phillipa wants only one thing from her and that is the grandchild she has longed for quite a while. If Boy and his wife cannot conceive she will to any length to make her wish come true.
These women began to wonder whether the life of the rich and famous is worth the pains of keeping the lavish lifestyle they are now living. With personalities clashing all over the place, Ricky, Suzanne, and Phillipa are connected in ways unbeknownst to them and will realize it sooner than later once they spend a ‘girls’ day at the spa.
How to Un-Marry a Millionaire is an enjoyable read until the eco-terrorist plot that did not align with the rest of the of the book. The semi-plot felt out of place and without it I would give a higher rating of a definite four. I recommend to readers who love chick-lit and drama novels over a lazy weekend.
I received this book free from CLP Blog Tours in exchange for an honest opinion in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission Guidelines.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 13, 2014
In her debut novel, How To Un-Marry A Millionaire, author Billie Morton weaves a humorous and thoroughly entertaining tale that follows the trials and tribulations of three generations of women who live in the world of the rich and famous ... a lifestyle where having a lot money doesn't always bring happiness, and not everything they thought it would be!
The reader is easily drawn into the alternating and interwoven drama laden lives of three ambitious women: twenty-two year old Ricky Hart, a nurse who wheedles her way into the affections of seventy-year old Arizona Copper King, Sanford Keane's life when she helps him rehab from a heart transplant. Then there is thirty-seven year old Suzanne Nelson-Drummoyne-Graff-Carmel, a gold-digging serial-marrier whose lifestyle is all about the money. And last but not least, there is elderly socialite Philippa Carmel, Suzanne's current mother-in-law, who cannot stand her daughter-in-law yet yearns for a grandchild.
Author Billie Morton's quick wit weaves an amusing story filled with enough drama, humor, and intriguing plot twists that will tickle the reader's funny bone. Her insightful portrayal of these three women, whose desire to live a wealthy lifestyle is filled with enough hilarious trials and tribulations that makes one wonder if their quest is really worth it, and is it everything that they thought it would be. Like the old saying goes ... money doesn't always buy you happiness!
How To Un-Marry A Millionaire is a fast-paced enjoyable story that will keep you in stitches, and leave a satisfying smile on your face.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of the book from the author / publisher in exchange for my honest review and participation in a virtual book tour event hosted by Chick Lit Plus Blog Tours.
http://jerseygirlbookreviews.blogspot...
The reader is easily drawn into the alternating and interwoven drama laden lives of three ambitious women: twenty-two year old Ricky Hart, a nurse who wheedles her way into the affections of seventy-year old Arizona Copper King, Sanford Keane's life when she helps him rehab from a heart transplant. Then there is thirty-seven year old Suzanne Nelson-Drummoyne-Graff-Carmel, a gold-digging serial-marrier whose lifestyle is all about the money. And last but not least, there is elderly socialite Philippa Carmel, Suzanne's current mother-in-law, who cannot stand her daughter-in-law yet yearns for a grandchild.
Author Billie Morton's quick wit weaves an amusing story filled with enough drama, humor, and intriguing plot twists that will tickle the reader's funny bone. Her insightful portrayal of these three women, whose desire to live a wealthy lifestyle is filled with enough hilarious trials and tribulations that makes one wonder if their quest is really worth it, and is it everything that they thought it would be. Like the old saying goes ... money doesn't always buy you happiness!
How To Un-Marry A Millionaire is a fast-paced enjoyable story that will keep you in stitches, and leave a satisfying smile on your face.
Disclaimer: I received a copy of the book from the author / publisher in exchange for my honest review and participation in a virtual book tour event hosted by Chick Lit Plus Blog Tours.
http://jerseygirlbookreviews.blogspot...
November 30, 2014
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is quite an interesting story. I was intrigued by the title and loved the cover, so I just had to give this book a chance.
Initially, I had a hard time liking the story. The first character that you meet is Ricky, a knocked-up 17 year old with shattered dreams of marrying rich. I was not impressed with her and had a hard time liking her at the beginning. As the story progresses and you see her as an adult, she becomes a hellion that you somehow manage to admire, despite her "I'll get what I want" attitude.
The next main character that we meet is Suzanne, a woman with a string of exes that desired to marry a man just for his money, but somehow keeps getting screwed in the process (and not in a good way). I wasn't sure the author wanted you to like this woman, the way she was perceived, but as you start to learn what she has been through, the admiration grows and you realize that she is a bit of a survivor. She is a bit vain (she refuses to age gracefully and has had multiple cosmetic surgeries to stay young-looking), she has a bit of a crass attitude, and I was not enjoying her character initially.
The third main female is Philipa, an aging woman who loves nothing in the world more than her dog and her son (who marries Suzanne). She is a bit eccentric. It was nice to see an older character having equal footing with the younger ladies in the book.
As their stories intertwine, you become captivated. It was a bit rough at the beginning, since I thought the women were painted a bit unfavorably and I didn't want to read a book about women that I didn't like, but I'm glad I stuck it out. It ended up being quite an entertaining read.
This is quite an interesting story. I was intrigued by the title and loved the cover, so I just had to give this book a chance.
Initially, I had a hard time liking the story. The first character that you meet is Ricky, a knocked-up 17 year old with shattered dreams of marrying rich. I was not impressed with her and had a hard time liking her at the beginning. As the story progresses and you see her as an adult, she becomes a hellion that you somehow manage to admire, despite her "I'll get what I want" attitude.
The next main character that we meet is Suzanne, a woman with a string of exes that desired to marry a man just for his money, but somehow keeps getting screwed in the process (and not in a good way). I wasn't sure the author wanted you to like this woman, the way she was perceived, but as you start to learn what she has been through, the admiration grows and you realize that she is a bit of a survivor. She is a bit vain (she refuses to age gracefully and has had multiple cosmetic surgeries to stay young-looking), she has a bit of a crass attitude, and I was not enjoying her character initially.
The third main female is Philipa, an aging woman who loves nothing in the world more than her dog and her son (who marries Suzanne). She is a bit eccentric. It was nice to see an older character having equal footing with the younger ladies in the book.
As their stories intertwine, you become captivated. It was a bit rough at the beginning, since I thought the women were painted a bit unfavorably and I didn't want to read a book about women that I didn't like, but I'm glad I stuck it out. It ended up being quite an entertaining read.
April 10, 2015
How to Un-Marry a Millionaire sits quite comfortably in the humor section. From the very first page Billie Morton had me hooked. I read the whole book in almost one sitting because I had to know what happened next and how these disparate, desperate female characters would converge. Starting with rough-around-the-edges upstart Ricky Hart then jumping to elderly socialite Phillipa Carmel and middle aged gold digger Suzanne with the four last names, this novel takes you on a roller coaster ride from the very beginning.
Exquisitely written, Morton full embodies the unique and distinct voice of each character, at any point you could randomly turn to a page, and having been introduced to the characters, know who’s speaking without being told. You know Ricky by her seemingly hair-brained quips and Phillipa by her eccentricity and Suzanne by her clawing need for acknowledgment. And this reader isn’t ashamed to say that she found something to identify with in each of these fictional women. Morton weaves a masterful web! (With the exception of a few math issues in the review copy, that I hope are corrected in the final edition.) Her screenwriting talents are clearly at work here, this reads like a movie, with wild action, crazy close-ups, and beautiful panoramics.
Puzzled by the title until the very last page, I found How to Un-Marry a Millionaire refreshing, funny, engaging and a fantastic twist on the rags to riches story. Anyone who loves revisionist fairytales will get a strong kick out of this. I certainly did.
(As originally posted on ChickLitPlus.com)
Exquisitely written, Morton full embodies the unique and distinct voice of each character, at any point you could randomly turn to a page, and having been introduced to the characters, know who’s speaking without being told. You know Ricky by her seemingly hair-brained quips and Phillipa by her eccentricity and Suzanne by her clawing need for acknowledgment. And this reader isn’t ashamed to say that she found something to identify with in each of these fictional women. Morton weaves a masterful web! (With the exception of a few math issues in the review copy, that I hope are corrected in the final edition.) Her screenwriting talents are clearly at work here, this reads like a movie, with wild action, crazy close-ups, and beautiful panoramics.
Puzzled by the title until the very last page, I found How to Un-Marry a Millionaire refreshing, funny, engaging and a fantastic twist on the rags to riches story. Anyone who loves revisionist fairytales will get a strong kick out of this. I certainly did.
(As originally posted on ChickLitPlus.com)
October 8, 2014
Originally posted at Bunny's Review
This was a different read I felt it crossed between contemporary fiction and historical fiction. One chapter it had the contemporary feel the next it had the historical feel.
When looking at the content page I honestly thought there were two separate books. With having book one and chapters then having book two and chapter’s readers will presume the author put two books into one. That is not the case.
After reading the first chapter titled Ricky and moving to the chapter Suzanne I was thrown off. It seemed like an ending without an ending. I really wondered if this story had anything connecting with the characters.
When moving into book two that is an extension of the characters from book one everything starts to come together.
The author pulled everything together nicely.
The bunnies and I give this book
carrots.
I was given this book in exchange for an honest review. All views are my own and do not reflect those of the author, my clients or tour companies I work with. This is not a paid review. To form your own opinion please support the author and acquire your own legal copy of the book.
This was a different read I felt it crossed between contemporary fiction and historical fiction. One chapter it had the contemporary feel the next it had the historical feel.
When looking at the content page I honestly thought there were two separate books. With having book one and chapters then having book two and chapter’s readers will presume the author put two books into one. That is not the case.
After reading the first chapter titled Ricky and moving to the chapter Suzanne I was thrown off. It seemed like an ending without an ending. I really wondered if this story had anything connecting with the characters.
When moving into book two that is an extension of the characters from book one everything starts to come together.
The author pulled everything together nicely.
The bunnies and I give this book
carrots.I was given this book in exchange for an honest review. All views are my own and do not reflect those of the author, my clients or tour companies I work with. This is not a paid review. To form your own opinion please support the author and acquire your own legal copy of the book.
November 5, 2014
This book kinda reminded me of old school women's fiction sagas - you know, the Danielle Steel and Barbara Taylor Bradford stories of the 80s and 90s. The reason could be the extensive backstory we are subjected to from each character before the story picks up really. I kept telling myself there must be a point to all this info dump, and I slugged through, to finally get an entertaining story once the characters had been introduced properly - or as extensively properly as the author had deemed fit.
It's a good tale, with well-sketched characters (or else, you really get to know them after having spent so much time, well, getting to know them!) and their plight and motives and actions resonate with the reader.
If it were not for the addition of some weird subplots that looked more like filler towards the two-thirds point, this would've gotten a much better rating from me. The author had enough from the characters to pull them through the book without having to detour via quirky plot twists/additional subplots to carry the story through its full length.
Still, if you enjoy the women's fiction tales of 'old', then give this one a go. You won't be disappointed.
It's a good tale, with well-sketched characters (or else, you really get to know them after having spent so much time, well, getting to know them!) and their plight and motives and actions resonate with the reader.
If it were not for the addition of some weird subplots that looked more like filler towards the two-thirds point, this would've gotten a much better rating from me. The author had enough from the characters to pull them through the book without having to detour via quirky plot twists/additional subplots to carry the story through its full length.
Still, if you enjoy the women's fiction tales of 'old', then give this one a go. You won't be disappointed.
October 20, 2014
I received this book as an arc for a honest review. This was chick lit at it's most comedic! You meet 3 women: Ricky, young twenty something blonde whose mission is to marry money: Suzanne, mid-thirties, married money several times but was still left broke until she married Boy (don't worry he'e 39, its a nickname): and Philippa, in her eighties with her memories and her dog. You go along for a crazy ride through their lives as they get what they want but do they really want it? And is it worth it after you have it? This book had some great parts but it did drag in some parts. All in all a good read. 4 ****
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews