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Step Up or Step Out: How to Deal with Difficult People Even If You Hate Conflict
The truth about conflict with difficult people
I’ve discovered a simple way to deal with difficult people. It doesn’t require a massive conflict or confrontation. All you need is clear expectations to see results! Because, contrary to popular belief, conflict is the last step for successfully dealing with a difficult person. By clarifying or changing expectations and picking small battles without any surprises, the difficult people in your life will step up or step out within four weeks (without any one-off massive battles where everyone loses!). If you’re thinking, “But I don’t have enough confidence to have conflict with this difficult person”, I’ve created three stages to dealing with difficult people that you can start implementing right
How clear are your expectations? Remember when that person started in your organization or came into your life? How clearly did you lay out your expectations for them? Most leaders only score a 5/10 in stage one, which explains why you’re finding it so hard to deal with that difficult person!
Have a crucial conversation to reclarify or change expectations. You’re stressed about a big fallout, conflict, or confrontation where everyone loses. Forget that. Instead, I’ll show you how to have a crucial conversation where you reclarify or change expectations so that everyone wins. By clarifying or changing expectations with the difficult person, you’re setting a foundation to keep them accountable for their behavior moving forward.
I’ll explain the other strategy and everything else you need to know about dealing with difficult people even if you hate conflict in my new book, Step Up or Step Out.
I’ve discovered a simple way to deal with difficult people. It doesn’t require a massive conflict or confrontation. All you need is clear expectations to see results! Because, contrary to popular belief, conflict is the last step for successfully dealing with a difficult person. By clarifying or changing expectations and picking small battles without any surprises, the difficult people in your life will step up or step out within four weeks (without any one-off massive battles where everyone loses!). If you’re thinking, “But I don’t have enough confidence to have conflict with this difficult person”, I’ve created three stages to dealing with difficult people that you can start implementing right
How clear are your expectations? Remember when that person started in your organization or came into your life? How clearly did you lay out your expectations for them? Most leaders only score a 5/10 in stage one, which explains why you’re finding it so hard to deal with that difficult person!
Have a crucial conversation to reclarify or change expectations. You’re stressed about a big fallout, conflict, or confrontation where everyone loses. Forget that. Instead, I’ll show you how to have a crucial conversation where you reclarify or change expectations so that everyone wins. By clarifying or changing expectations with the difficult person, you’re setting a foundation to keep them accountable for their behavior moving forward.
I’ll explain the other strategy and everything else you need to know about dealing with difficult people even if you hate conflict in my new book, Step Up or Step Out.
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Published August 19, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 3, 2021
Sounds very simple 3 steps yet painful process as the author mentioned!
A small book of 60 pages that I finished in 2hours of deep reading and brought lots of lightbulbs that I think would make a huge difference in dealing with difficult people at work !
Worth trying and possibly trusting the process!
A small book of 60 pages that I finished in 2hours of deep reading and brought lots of lightbulbs that I think would make a huge difference in dealing with difficult people at work !
Worth trying and possibly trusting the process!
June 4, 2021
Expensive and largely untested
This seems expensive for the size - it's more of a booklet than a book. I appreciate that it isn't full of waffle, but would have liked to have read more real-life examples - I got the district impression, though, that there weren't any.
This seems expensive for the size - it's more of a booklet than a book. I appreciate that it isn't full of waffle, but would have liked to have read more real-life examples - I got the district impression, though, that there weren't any.
April 26, 2025
Great book for leaders!
If you don't like confrontation, this is the best method I've ever found for working with other people.
It works both for managing up and down the value chain, although when going up you are clarifying expectations for yourself and not them.
The process is virtually stress-free compared to the alternative of facing a huge blowup moment!
Thanks Jono for writing this book!
If you don't like confrontation, this is the best method I've ever found for working with other people.
It works both for managing up and down the value chain, although when going up you are clarifying expectations for yourself and not them.
The process is virtually stress-free compared to the alternative of facing a huge blowup moment!
Thanks Jono for writing this book!
January 11, 2024
Recommend to anyone looking for help handling difficult employees and team members. This is a great, short read that is immediately applicable and provides a simple strategy that is straightforward to use. Great read!
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews