Pro-Voice: How to Keep Listening When the World Wants a Fight

by Aspen Baker

Dialogue, Not Dogma

When Aspen Baker had an abortion at the age of twenty-four, she felt caught between the warring pro-life and pro-choice factions, with no safe space to share her feelings.

In this hopeful and moving book, Baker describes how she and Exhale, the organization she cofounded, developed their “pro-voice” philosophy and the creative approaches they employed to help women and men have respectful, compassionate exchanges about even this most controversial of topics. She shows how pro-voice can be adopted by anyone interested in replacing ideological gridlock with empathetic conversation. Peace, in this perspective, isn’t a world without conflict but one where conflict can be engaged in—fiercely and directly—without dehumanizing ourselves or our opponents.

Genres: Feminism, Nonfiction, Politics, Activism

240 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2015

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aspen Baker talks about how her group Exhale was founded on the principles of nonviolence. They have love and compassion for all- except the preborn babies who are being poisoned and dismembered in abortions.

[Lauren Mccarthy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Aspen Baker's view on how to help people. She specifically discusses those who have had an abortion, but her way of helping people could work in almost any situation. Instead of focusing on what side of an argument a person is on, she wants us to listen - to actually hear the stories of both our enemies and our friends. She believes we shouldn't have to hide who we are and what we've done in shame, but have compassion for each other even when we don't agree. She repeatedly references Dr. Martin Luther King and Ghandi in their nonviolent approach. Even though she's discussing abortion, I think everyone could benefit from reading her views on how to have a peaceful, compassionate discussion with people you don't agree with on any subject. I hope she continues to write because she's got the right ideas :)

[Amy Sedgwick · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most important books I've read in a long time. Aspen Baker provides a thoughtful alternative to the polarized activism of the pro-choice and pro-life movements. She highlights how both movements can be hurtful to those who experience abortions, and she offers an approach that supports the complexity and diversity of people's experiences. More importantly, Baker highlights how the Pro-Voice approach can be applied to other politicized and polarizing issues facing us today to create a more caring, respectful and just world. I highly recommend reading this book, or at the very least checking out Aspen Baker's TedX talk online.

[loafingcactus · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author has developed the concept of pro-voice in response to the problem of nonviolence for women. Nonviolence can appear so close to the strictures of feminine passivity that it can reinforce the subjugation of women rather than challenge it. Women are challenged to develop an active nonviolence that has the power to change the world. As such, the book is steeped in nonviolent theory and practice and a meaningful contribution to it.

[Jenna Kimball · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a volunteer for the Exhale talkline, I must say even with my understanding of the provoice movement this was an inspiring read. Aspen goes into great detail about how the provoice movement was founded and how it can address the issues facing our country and our world. This book goes far beyond the fight around abortion and can be applied to may areas of our lives. Listen, connect to the stories around you, and embrace those gray areas.

[Wil M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think what made me give it a lower rating was the mention of Devonte Hart, although the murders were still years away there were abuse allegations and my heart just sank to hear about the Cop Hug which the poor child was forced into by parents who abused and used their adopted children to gain attention.

[Hannah Leach · Rating 3 out of 5]

My therapist told me about this book after a nuanced conversation about policing of post-abortion stories. I'm not entirely sure how I felt about this one, as it sort of refused to take a stand on the topic, but I guess that's kind of the point? It was just a very white woman-y approach to the topic, but I still appreciated hearing her perspective to a certain extent.

[Rob Lewan · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book was god overall. I thought it was longer than it needed to be because the point was simply listening to others that have gone through an abortion and be supportive regardless of your political opinion. While there were great examples, the book did feel like it was running on and on. But again, great message and we need to treat people better.

[Amanda Harman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting concept & compelling read.

[Valerie Sherman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Valuable lesson on using listening, story-telling, and resilience to defuse divisive issues.

[Yaakov · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprising. Worth the read. Has given my food for thought that will last me a while.

[Abigail Cornejo · Rating 3 out of 5]

Surprisingly a good read. Gives you something to think about. Author tries hard to be "Pro-Voice" and neutral, but does show bias in favor of pro-choice side.

[Julie Dawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pro Voice: How to Keep Listening When the World Wants a Fight is a provocative book because it does not seek to provoke. Written by Aspen Baker, founder of Exhale, the book details the founding and history of the post-abortion counseling service. Refusing to work under the bright light of either pro-life or pro-choice, Exhale thrives in the gray; providing a non-politicized, non-judgmental place for those impacted by abortion to share their stories.

The book also elaborates on the value of the pro-voice way of approaching social issues. It is not either/or, right versus wrong, black or white. It acknowledges the complexities of human life and the personal and unique issues of the individual. Pro-Voice says that each person’s life experiences have value, and that understanding those experiences can help build bridges across even the most vicious political divides.

Baker has a casual, personable writing style that is easy to read. There is a refreshing humility to her writing. She isn’t pretending to have all of the answers. Rather, Pro-Voice provides a way to make sure we actually hear the real questions.

Reviewer note: I was given a comp copy of this book for review.

[Shari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Learn how the nonprofit Exhale's pro-voice strategy is different than pro-life or pro-choice. The book is a useful read on non-violent communication and story telling helpful in not only the abortion debate arena, but for other social change movements too. It explains how less is more when you want to be heard by the other side in debates on divisive issues. Aspen shares her nonprofit's history of creative exploration into safe storytelling and the deep listening that her nonprofit's counselors provide on their hotline. She talks about trials, learnings, and opportunities. The back of the book has suggestions for other helpful nonprofits in this arena.

[Roxanne · Rating 3 out of 5]

I just read this book. It is a little bit of an uncomfortable subject to talk about. I am pro choice myself. So this book talks about the abortion debate and how to have the conflicting sides understand each other better. This author started an organization to help people deal with abortion and the aftermath of.This can be a difficult decision for young girls to make and they need support.She would like to humanize abortion rather than berate.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting perspective on the abortion debate and an avenue for positive change through sharing individual stories and embracing the grey.