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Seated with Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison
As Christians find themselves trapped in the rhetoric of platform, influence, retweets, and fame, they need a ladder out of the fray. Many of us live in a prison of self-absorption. Shackled with pride and despair, we compare ourselves to others constantly in our frantic, unending pursuit of perfection.
Seated with Christ gets to the root of this behavior and charts a path to freedom.
Scripture says that God's beloved are seated with Christ in the heavens (Eph. 2:6), treasured by him and given a place at his table. Heather Holleman unveils what this means for us. It means we walk out on the fight for acceptance. We quit measuring ourselves against others. We leap free from cycles of shame.
Securely-seated people can ask themselves hard questions about their lives; they can deal with sin, grieve their losses, and move forward in hope. From a position of security and self-forgetfulness they can joyfully do the good works prepared for them uniquely. They can even celebrate the successes of others.
Seated with Christ is a deeply personal, liberating look at a glorious that we have a place at God's eternal table.
Seated with Christ gets to the root of this behavior and charts a path to freedom.
Scripture says that God's beloved are seated with Christ in the heavens (Eph. 2:6), treasured by him and given a place at his table. Heather Holleman unveils what this means for us. It means we walk out on the fight for acceptance. We quit measuring ourselves against others. We leap free from cycles of shame.
Securely-seated people can ask themselves hard questions about their lives; they can deal with sin, grieve their losses, and move forward in hope. From a position of security and self-forgetfulness they can joyfully do the good works prepared for them uniquely. They can even celebrate the successes of others.
Seated with Christ is a deeply personal, liberating look at a glorious that we have a place at God's eternal table.
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First published September 22, 2015
243 people are currently reading
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About the author
Heather Holleman
13 books155 followersHEATHER HOLLEMAN, PhD, is a popular speaker, writer, and college instructor. She serves with Faculty Commons with Cru alongside her husband, Ashley, who is the Executive Director of Graduate Student Ministry. She is also a faculty member of Penn State's English Department and teaches both Rhetoric and Composition and Advanced Writing in the Humanities. She is the author of Seated With Christ: Living Freely in a Culture of Comparison, her first in a series of books on life-changing verbs in Scripture. Heather lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and their two teen daughters. She blogs daily at www.HeatherHolleman.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 174 reviews
April 21, 2020
Heather Holleman spoke at a conference I was at this summer, and I was thankful I live-streamed that particular session from my room because I ugly cried through half her talk (thanks @heatherholleman 🤣). This book is based on that talk and I want to get it in the hands of every woman I know. She speaks of the security of our seat with Christ and how that changes everything about our lives. I can not recommend this more highly. Or start by googling “Heather Holleman seated” and watch the first video that pops up. Soooo worth your time.
August 1, 2019
3.5*
The first part of the book is excellent. She opened my eyes to the reality of my standing before Christ that I never thought of before. Being seated with Christ is indeed glorious, restful, hopeful and freeing! I read Scripture in a better light knowing who I am and where I am already seated and with whom I am seated. This truth of being seated with Christ should eliminate all temptations to compare ourselves with others and to judge others for being different from us.
What I do not like about the book is the same complaint I have of any written by women. It’s too anecdotal. She could’ve reduced the book in half if you remove all her experiences and stories. I don’t know how many times she mentioned that she has a PhD, or how much she’s sought after for her writing, speaking skills. She also mentioned how she was healed of such and such sin. Perhaps she’s generalizing, but I’d like to know how to get to that in this life.
I think this is a great topic. I would’ve loved for her to spend more pages on word study, other Scripture references to being seated, cultural context. She kept using King Arthur and his round table as an illustration, but I don’t think the apostle Paul was thinking of that when he wrote the passage.
I would’ve preferred she used biblical examples or other men and women of faith. Her constant use of herself as an example got so tiring that I skimmed through those parts.
The first part of the book is excellent. She opened my eyes to the reality of my standing before Christ that I never thought of before. Being seated with Christ is indeed glorious, restful, hopeful and freeing! I read Scripture in a better light knowing who I am and where I am already seated and with whom I am seated. This truth of being seated with Christ should eliminate all temptations to compare ourselves with others and to judge others for being different from us.
What I do not like about the book is the same complaint I have of any written by women. It’s too anecdotal. She could’ve reduced the book in half if you remove all her experiences and stories. I don’t know how many times she mentioned that she has a PhD, or how much she’s sought after for her writing, speaking skills. She also mentioned how she was healed of such and such sin. Perhaps she’s generalizing, but I’d like to know how to get to that in this life.
I think this is a great topic. I would’ve loved for her to spend more pages on word study, other Scripture references to being seated, cultural context. She kept using King Arthur and his round table as an illustration, but I don’t think the apostle Paul was thinking of that when he wrote the passage.
I would’ve preferred she used biblical examples or other men and women of faith. Her constant use of herself as an example got so tiring that I skimmed through those parts.
August 2, 2022
Really enjoyed this one! It was a good reminder that, as believers, we are already seated with Christ. Though I may fight for a seat at a worldly “table,” a seat at my Savior’s table is of infinite worth.
Overall, very encouraging and definitely a mindset to practice! Would recommend :)
Overall, very encouraging and definitely a mindset to practice! Would recommend :)
September 6, 2025
I loved this book. Holleman was witty and relatable in her writing. She was honest yet gentle about the reality of comparison and the detrimental effects it has on our understanding of ourselves, our roles as ambassadors for Christ, and how we operate within the specific spheres of influence that God has given us. I felt incredibly encouraged but also incredibly convicted. I’m excited to take some time to think about how I can apply what I’ve learned to my life.
I’d recommend to anyone, specifically if you’re discipling/walking alongside middle school-college age young women.
I’d recommend to anyone, specifically if you’re discipling/walking alongside middle school-college age young women.
August 16, 2025
“…and raise us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places…” ephesians 2:6
Imagine a life where you are so secure and content in your identity in Christ, being seated with him in the heavenly places, that you no longer need to be accepted by the world. You don’t need recognition, approval, or achievements — you are seated. And you are so free to live the life He has called you to.
Imagine a life where you are so secure and content in your identity in Christ, being seated with him in the heavenly places, that you no longer need to be accepted by the world. You don’t need recognition, approval, or achievements — you are seated. And you are so free to live the life He has called you to.
November 22, 2019
Heather Holleman is perhaps a more overtly Christian Brene Brown. In fact, she acknowledges that she has done a great deal of research similar to Brene Brown (unnamed, but an obvious mention), yet has missed out on the fame. This was part of her growth in learning her place at the table with Christ. But I found Holleman at little more digestible and Christ-centered than Brown. She takes Eph 2:6, “we are seated with Christ,” and runs with it. Applying it to areas of our lives where we compare with others, especially in appearance and affluence. It is powerful and life changing.
Holleman writes with a flair and quality that makes all other blogger-turned-author types pale. She is thoughtful, uses wise examples and keeps her eyes on Christ. I learned a lot and enjoyed her stories.
I was a little turned off at the charmed life she leads. While she admits that she has laid aside many expectations for her life (and a star-studded past) and turned them to Christ, it was all a little too tidy. She set aside her obsession with body image and promptly lost weight. She set aside her desire for recognition and a neighborhood outreach idea blossomed into an incredible ministry. It all just seemed to work out so well, and it was hard for me to accept that it could be that easy. Still, her stories were powerful, and encouraged me to step out.
The use of scripture throughout was wonderful, and I loved the journal/discussion questions at the end of each chapter.
Holleman writes with a flair and quality that makes all other blogger-turned-author types pale. She is thoughtful, uses wise examples and keeps her eyes on Christ. I learned a lot and enjoyed her stories.
I was a little turned off at the charmed life she leads. While she admits that she has laid aside many expectations for her life (and a star-studded past) and turned them to Christ, it was all a little too tidy. She set aside her obsession with body image and promptly lost weight. She set aside her desire for recognition and a neighborhood outreach idea blossomed into an incredible ministry. It all just seemed to work out so well, and it was hard for me to accept that it could be that easy. Still, her stories were powerful, and encouraged me to step out.
The use of scripture throughout was wonderful, and I loved the journal/discussion questions at the end of each chapter.
January 24, 2016
I've read several Christian books and this book is hands down one of the best I've read.
This book came during a season when I needed it most. Heather grabbed my attention from the very beginning. She speaks life and truth throughout the book. I also love that she ties everything back to scripture. None of the book is her opinion - it's rooted in the Word.
It was a refreshing perspective on my relationship with Jesus. I read through it as a devotional but it's something you could finish in a day if you really wanted to. Although I would encourage you to move slowly so you can digest the information. The questions after each chapter were well thought out and allow you to dig deeper in to your relationship with Jesus. Heather does a great job of identifying and stirring some important heart issues we as women often like to avoid.
I can't say enough good things about it!
This book came during a season when I needed it most. Heather grabbed my attention from the very beginning. She speaks life and truth throughout the book. I also love that she ties everything back to scripture. None of the book is her opinion - it's rooted in the Word.
It was a refreshing perspective on my relationship with Jesus. I read through it as a devotional but it's something you could finish in a day if you really wanted to. Although I would encourage you to move slowly so you can digest the information. The questions after each chapter were well thought out and allow you to dig deeper in to your relationship with Jesus. Heather does a great job of identifying and stirring some important heart issues we as women often like to avoid.
I can't say enough good things about it!
June 12, 2022
“Sometimes I wish I had a different seat, but I know that my seat is good.”
February 11, 2024
The main idea of this book is so helpful, and I want to have it deep in my bones. Living with the certainty that we are seated with Christ has the power to really change our days. I will definitely be returning to this idea. Her later chapters are also really inspiring in terms of availability for gospel living with your neighbors. Only a 4 for me because there was a ton of literary repetition on the main theme in every chapter, sort of felt a little overdone by the end (but I understand you can only say “seated in Christ” so many ways!).
March 3, 2022
2nd time I’ve read this book and still just as good. Love the way Heather unpacks the implications of the fact that believers in Jesus are seated with Him in the heavenly realms. This book is full of biblical encouragement and I love that she ends it with the fact that as those seated with Christ we are called to be available to tell others about Him and she gives a lot of practical encouragement for evangelism and living on mission. Highly highly recommend
September 10, 2022
Writing this down so I don’t forget but this book would be an AMAZING womens summer bible study. Really unique questions tied into the theme of what it looks like to live a life that is seated with Christ (Ephesians 2:6) . Tons of scripture within each chapter. It’s definitely a read & also flip through your bible type of book!
October 23, 2023
4.5⭐️
This book is so good!
This book is so good!
December 16, 2025
This book feels like the author wrote it exclusively for herself. I don't mind a personal anecdote or two, but this entire book was anecdotes with bible verses in them, and that really was not for me.
For example, read this. (My line breaks will be wrong because I listened to the audiobook, and that's okay.)
Listen, babe, I love that you have learned to take your pain to Jesus and you're not abandoned, accused, beyond help, excluded, removed, or shunned. (Those are a lot of verbs.) But if you're trying to help OTHER people "be seated," why wouldn't you write something closer to:
Do you see the difference? Do you hear it?
In the first example-- the actual text of the book-- we are entirely rooted in Holleman's personal experience of how she lives her life as someone who has been delivered from insecurity.
In the second, we are reminded of who we are and what our identity is. It's about the person reading the book, who could be anyone, instead of the author.
I didn't hate this book because I know the author is coming from a good and kind place and she's trying to be encouraging. But a star has been removed for the fact the entire ENTIRE book was about her, and a star has been removed because you cannot write a book saying "Jesus delivered me from my need to be important and famous and relevant <3" and keep yourself, somehow, as the center of the universe that book revolves around.
"You didn't have to read this book," you say, as the person reading this review. "If you hated it, you could have stopped." Yes, I know. I'm behind on my reading goal and this one was recommended to me at a writing conference. We all make choices we have to live with. Just like Holleman did with the framing of this memoir. I mean nonfiction book.
In short: who was this book for, Holleman? I think it was for you.
Total score: 3/5 Stars
For example, read this. (My line breaks will be wrong because I listened to the audiobook, and that's okay.)
What happens as I go about my day and begin to regret my past or agonize over any painful memory?
I think of God's sovereign plan that drew me to my seat in the heavenly realms. In this special seat, I can take my pain to Jesus and turn that terrible pain into a beautiful thing. At no time am I abandoned, accused, or beyond help. I am safe in my seat with a loving God working healing on my behalf.
But what if I mess up during this same day?
When I sin through attitude, speech, or behavior, I confess to Jesus and experience new intimacy with him. Sin doesn't take me from my seat. It just turns my face away from Jesus.
I turn back to him, and enjoy my seat at the table once more. At no time was I excluded, removed, or shunned from the table.
Listen, babe, I love that you have learned to take your pain to Jesus and you're not abandoned, accused, beyond help, excluded, removed, or shunned. (Those are a lot of verbs.) But if you're trying to help OTHER people "be seated," why wouldn't you write something closer to:
What happens as we go about our days and begin to regret our pasts or agonize over any painful memory?
God, in his sovereignty, draws us to our seat in the heavenly realms. In this special seat, you can take your pain to Jesus, who turns that terrible pain into a beautiful thing. At no time are you abandoned, accused, or beyond help. You are safe in your seat with a loving God working healing on your behalf.
When we mess up, even during the same day, we can confess to Jesus and experience new intimacy with him. Sin doesn't take you from your seat. It just turns your face away from Jesus.
When you turn back to him, He invites you to enjoy your seat at the table once more. At no time were you excluded, removed, or shunned from the table.
Do you see the difference? Do you hear it?
In the first example-- the actual text of the book-- we are entirely rooted in Holleman's personal experience of how she lives her life as someone who has been delivered from insecurity.
In the second, we are reminded of who we are and what our identity is. It's about the person reading the book, who could be anyone, instead of the author.
I didn't hate this book because I know the author is coming from a good and kind place and she's trying to be encouraging. But a star has been removed for the fact the entire ENTIRE book was about her, and a star has been removed because you cannot write a book saying "Jesus delivered me from my need to be important and famous and relevant <3" and keep yourself, somehow, as the center of the universe that book revolves around.
"You didn't have to read this book," you say, as the person reading this review. "If you hated it, you could have stopped." Yes, I know. I'm behind on my reading goal and this one was recommended to me at a writing conference. We all make choices we have to live with. Just like Holleman did with the framing of this memoir. I mean nonfiction book.
In short: who was this book for, Holleman? I think it was for you.
Total score: 3/5 Stars
May 30, 2024
The title of this book was inspired by Ephesians 2:6 For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.
The author, Heather Holleman, points out the meaning of the powerful verb seated. I was challenged to consider whether I'm living as one who has a seat at the table or as one fighting for a seat at the table? What tables are idols to me? Am I wishing for a seat at tables of popularity or fame?
We are all equal at the table in our seats that not one of us have earned or could ever earn, and each seat comes with it's own specific good works which God has prepared in advance for me to do. So there is no need to look around and be jealous of the good works or blessings he has given others.
When we are securely seated, we can think about blessing others.
Heather's tips for witnessing to neighbors were new to me, and the stories of her interactions with her neighbors were so interesting, as were her conversation starting ideas. She inspired me to talk more about Jesus!
The seated identity is a mindset that needs to be practiced daily, and the author kind of touches on how that mindset affects us in many different areas of our lives.
The author, Heather Holleman, points out the meaning of the powerful verb seated. I was challenged to consider whether I'm living as one who has a seat at the table or as one fighting for a seat at the table? What tables are idols to me? Am I wishing for a seat at tables of popularity or fame?
We are all equal at the table in our seats that not one of us have earned or could ever earn, and each seat comes with it's own specific good works which God has prepared in advance for me to do. So there is no need to look around and be jealous of the good works or blessings he has given others.
When we are securely seated, we can think about blessing others.
Heather's tips for witnessing to neighbors were new to me, and the stories of her interactions with her neighbors were so interesting, as were her conversation starting ideas. She inspired me to talk more about Jesus!
The seated identity is a mindset that needs to be practiced daily, and the author kind of touches on how that mindset affects us in many different areas of our lives.
April 5, 2025
I loved how the chapters were not too long and also at the end had further study of scripture and reflection questions! I went through this book with multiple discipleships this semester, and it was so interesting to talk about this in groups because of the way comparison looks different in every girl’s life, but it impacts all of us in some way. Heather writes in such a real yet beautiful way that makes simple topics that we know come alive in our hearts. This seems like a great book to reread every few years to remind myself of my identity in Christ!
April 28, 2025
Wow! Thanks Cassidy for the sweet recommendation. This book couldn’t have come at a better time! With so much scripture intertwined in the chapters this book reminded me that I don’t have to fight for a seat with God, I don’t have to try and win his approval. I am seated with Christ and that isn’t changing. Would recommend to all who feel like they are trying to prove themselves to God and/or the world.
Read again still as good! A little repetitive but would recommend to a lot of people especially who struggle w comparison!
Read again still as good! A little repetitive but would recommend to a lot of people especially who struggle w comparison!
May 20, 2025
It was healthy for me to learn that God has sat me down. I am seated with Christ and at rest. No more protecting the seat I have or clamoring for the seat I’ve never had. I’m sitting at the coolest, most freeing, peaceful, secure, and abundant table out there. I was encouraged by Heather Holleman’s honesty. Thanks Anna!
“Instead of the life she imagined, God gave her a small task in a small neighborhood… And her life became bigger than she’d ever imagined.”
“Instead of the life she imagined, God gave her a small task in a small neighborhood… And her life became bigger than she’d ever imagined.”
January 3, 2020
Great book jumping off of Ephesians 2, where Paul says that Christians are seated with Christ in the heavenly places. Holleman helps the reader think through places they are trying to find satisfaction and meaning apart from an identity found in Jesus and his completed work. This past tense verb frees the Christian to a life of enjoying God and serving those around them out of joy rather than burden and duty. At the end of each chapter, there is a series of questions and a passage to help apply the concept that was just explored. Highly anecdotal and easy to read, but full of questions and thoughts that cut to the heart.
July 31, 2019
Although many of the truths in this book I "know," I never actually believe them about myself or others (such as there is NO reason for me to compare myself to others...I am SEATED with Christ and He is all I need). This book was extremely challenging for me, especially the Achievement chapter, because I constantly feel the need to achieve "the next thing". This book kicked me in the gut and helped me draw closer to Christ by acknowledging who He is and who I am in Him.
I also appreciated how Holleman went through the different tables she tried to find a seat at in her own life (probably because I also try to sit at the same table...I knew I liked her as an author);). From how she describes herself, people would look at her as the "it" woman; yet, she breaks down her mental obstacles to tell her readers how freeing it is to recognize our seated-ness in Christ instead of always trying to compete for bigger and better worldly accomplishments. Highly recommend for women trying to find purpose and clarity in their actions.
I also appreciated how Holleman went through the different tables she tried to find a seat at in her own life (probably because I also try to sit at the same table...I knew I liked her as an author);). From how she describes herself, people would look at her as the "it" woman; yet, she breaks down her mental obstacles to tell her readers how freeing it is to recognize our seated-ness in Christ instead of always trying to compete for bigger and better worldly accomplishments. Highly recommend for women trying to find purpose and clarity in their actions.
August 6, 2023
3.5 stars!
The middle got a little repetitive and not everything felt applicable, but the beginning and end were extremely encouraging and made me feel seen in a season of my life where my identity has been changing. What a great reminder that no matter what happens in life, I am seated with Christ!
I recommend this one for any woman who has ever struggled with identity, jealousy, comparison, or a low (or high!) sense of self worth.
The middle got a little repetitive and not everything felt applicable, but the beginning and end were extremely encouraging and made me feel seen in a season of my life where my identity has been changing. What a great reminder that no matter what happens in life, I am seated with Christ!
I recommend this one for any woman who has ever struggled with identity, jealousy, comparison, or a low (or high!) sense of self worth.
April 2, 2024
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this book and author. I'll be reading everything she writes. She writes with the honesty of a Christian on mission for Christ, but also with the transparency of a regular person who struggles with everyday life issues. Her writing style is superb, as it should be :) because she's a writing professor at Penn State. I highly recommend this book and I've already shared the title with some friends.
September 16, 2022
4.5 ⭐️ I really appreciated Heather’s reminder that since we are seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Eph 2:6) we don’t have to strive anymore. We can walk faithfully in the calling God has given us and while all of our paths may look different, there is no bad seat in the Kingdom of heaven!
November 2, 2022
Such an amazing book, loved every chapter and every story the author told. Realizing that we are seated in Christ and that is it a present tense verb gave me great perspective on how to view myself. Loved the book and I would recommend it to every one.
June 10, 2023
Better read than I anticipated. Heather lost me about halfway through and recaptured my attention in the second half. Found myself tearing up at her words that felt so true for my life. If comparison is a struggle for you, consider picking up this book.
February 5, 2024
A great read, beautiful writing! And how refreshing it is to know we are seated with Christ. There is no work we must do to earn this seat, but we can freely accept it because of our savior Jesus Christ.
March 24, 2018
Legitimately life-changing. I gave it a 4 out of 5 because it does get a teensy bit repetitive, but only because it pounds the message home. So so good.
June 10, 2019
Being seated with Christ is truly a beautiful, life-changing truth.
March 30, 2021
Excellent! This one will always be on my shelf and a gift choice too. This book helps readers focus on one thing: Christ. I can’t say enough good about it.
August 30, 2022
I rarely give a 5 star review but this one is so so worthy.
June 12, 2023
Read this freshmen year of college which was pivotal for that time period. Thankful for the wisdom it offered!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 174 reviews