Letters to a Young Feminist

by Phyllis Chesler

Letters to a Young Feminist is a visionary message from a leading feminist to the next generation of feminists, both women and men. Phyllis Chesler discusses basic aspects of feminism, explains feminism's relevance in a world that has taken it for granted and derided it and helps the next generation reclaim feminism for itself. Chesler examines sisterhood, sex, families, motherhood, work, feminist heroism and the economics of power, providing guidance to the generation to come.

Genres: Feminism, Nonfiction, Essays, Womens, Audiobook, Womens Studies, Female Authors

Audible Audio

First published December 18, 1997

About the author

Phyllis Chesler is an Emerita Professor of Psychology and Women's Studies at City University of New York. She is a best- selling author, a legendary feminist leader, a psychotherapist and an expert courtroom witness. Dr. Chesler has published thousands of articles and, most recently, studies, about honor-related violence including honor killings. She is the author of 20 books, including Women and Madness and An American Bride in Kabul. Her forthcoming book is titled Requiem for a Female Serial Killer, about serial killer Aileen Wuornos.

Reviews

[Moushmi Radhanpara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short but extremely powerful and apt book. Sadly, the issues that spread through the book are so striking and feel so real even in 2020. The oppression is real, myths of sisterhood, pay, patriarchy in so many ways, expectations from a lady of being ladylike, things and facts to fit into for being a woman, how you easily you are being judged, the list goes on and the reality of all of this, even today is true and disheartening. What is amazing about this book though, is the fact that the author knows what was wrong and how exactly things might improve in our future.
Women: read!
Men: READ!!!!!

[♥ Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

The hardcover version I read was exactly 144 pages – a short, but powerful read. Letters to a Young Feminist was published in 1977 as a part of the second wave of the feminist movement, and her voice rings loud, clear, and true still.

I started identifying as a young feminist during my undergrad/college years, but it’s funny how much I’ve forgotten. This was a wonderful refresher read, and also very informative. Though she has some tough views, I wouldn’t consider it radical (it felt pretty standard, considering the era in which this was published).

"When I say that women are oppressed, I do not mean that men are never oppressed. Men are, not because of their gender, but because they are poor men, or racially despised men, or homosexual men, or men who do not conform to strict gender stereotypes. Women are oppressed in these ways too, and, in addition, because of their gender."

Some forty or so years later, this paragraph is as relevant as ever (where we have an outwardly misogynist – among other things, President). She writes about feminism generally, but also addresses specific issues that has always been and still is in contention:

"No woman should be forced to have abortion against her will. No woman should be prevented from having an abortion against her will. This is what choice is about. Abortion is not murder. It is the termination of a fetus. [If] women do not have the legal right to decide whether a pregnancy is a future baby or an unacceptable burden, then it is women who are civilly dead."

I could go on and on about pro/anti-choice, but I’m positive that ALL feminists would agree with her stance on this one. It made me both sad/glad that this is still one of the most hotly debated issues in the US. Sad, because we apparently came so far – yet not at all; glad – because this cause still binds us – women and men who believe in “freedom of choice” and the Constitution – of life and liberty.

The transitions from each of her letters are smooth and effortless and concise. She starts off in her younger years – in early 1950s America, and how drastically different it was back then. She progresses to self-identity, feminist sisterhood, marriage, sex, motherhood, economic independence, and even addresses her son in the last chapter. It was beautifully written, and I loved her attitude of inclusion, rather than exclusion.

The most powerful “letter” or chapter for me was when she addressed sisterhood. I think perhaps the reason why women are still struggling is because of the lack of sisterhood we have. Of course, some men are a part of the problem, it’s systemic, institutionalized, and different for WOC, but we’re still missing that integral sense of community and identity as feminists. There are too many conflicting interests, too many women who still continue to play into patriarchal norms, too many who still slut shame, who don’t use their voice, subscribe to oppressive ideologies, so on and so forth.

I wrote a review earlier last month about We Should All Be Feminists; that book was short and entertaining, but not hard hitting enough. THIS book is one that will make you feel and rage and demand the kind of equality that we all deserve (men included).

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book was a very good look at more modern feminism through the eyes of a second wave feminist. Yes, this book is a bit outdated, as it was published in 1997, but I think the message is still important. A lot of the issues that the author brings forth are still issues in today's society, and I think it's a good read, especially for someone who identifies as a feminist. It's also important to note that she doesn't ignore male feminists, or hate on men.

[TK · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had this book for many years - my reading resolution for 2020 is to read at least 10 books from my TBR shelves and Letters to a Young Feminist was the first one. I read it to complete the Reading Women Challenge prompt #22 A Book by a New-to-You Publisher. In this case the new-to-me publisher is Four Walls Eight Windows

Phyllis Chelser is the real-deal feminist. My friends and I walk around calling ourselves feminists, but rarely do we take actions even a fraction as daring and committed as Ms. Chesler describes in her book.

I do think that when this book was published (1997), feminist and feminism had fallen out of fashion; young women weren't convinced that we needed to be feminists. Today I think this has shifted and feminism is on the rise with a vengeance (see the Women's March and the #metoo movement), but it doesn't make Ms. Chesler's book any less relevant.

Yes the landscape does look different for women today than in 1997. In some ways we have seem small improvements but we've also seen regressions (abortion rights, a prime example). What I love most about this collections of letters is the intimate tone that Ms. Chesler takes with her readers. She has faith in us, and shares her wisdom because she believes it will be a beacon for the next generation of activists.

There are gems sprinkled through out the book. "You will make terrible mistakes. Acknowledge them. Leaders with disappoint you. Expect this." Or, "Know that you can disagree with someone without having to hate of banish them." And, "In my view, grand vision, coupled with human, imperfect action, is everything." I added more of these to the Quotes section of this website.

[Patty · Rating 3 out of 5]

“I want you to know what our feminist gains are, and why you must not take them for granted. (Although it is your right to do so – we fought for that too. I also want you to know what remains to be done. I want you to see your place in the historical scheme of things, so you may choose whether and how to stand your ground in history.”

It has been almost twenty years since this book was published. Some days that seems like eons and other times I feel like those twenty years have passed in a blink. I feel the same way about feminism. Some good things have happened and sometimes we are just fighting the same battles over and over again.

Recently, it was announced that Alice Paul would be on the back of the $10.00 bill. That feels like progress. But it was less than a year ago that I had a battle with an acquaintance that saw nothing wrong with the fact that women are paid 76 cents for every dollar that a man makes. The pay equity battle is one that Alice Paul was fighting back in 1923 when she wrote the Equal Rights Amendment.

I wonder what Chesler thinks about this book now. Is she glad she wrote it? Does she feel that no one is paying attention anymore? I am glad I read it. I have been involved in feminism since college, but this book was a brief refresher course. I needed to see where we have been and where we still need to go.

[Leisurecan · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Evil exists because we, the good people, did nothing.” This quote from Chapter 1 strikes me, and I wasn’t expecting to maintain this awakening feeling till the end, yet I did.

This book is written in 1997, the same year I was born, and I am astonished by how much more difficult it was to practice feminism back then(you have to “live ahead of law”) and how truthful those letters were that it will never expire. It was not solely written with words, but written by the pain, tears, mistakes made from the last generation of women and their allies who dare to stand out for us.

“You must have radical compassion towards yourself” and “We must find a way to disagree but not annihilate each other” are the quotes I need to remind myself every day.
I want to get a hard copy for every female friend and child.

[Lyzz Repa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you consider yourself a feminist or not, I believe every woman (and the men who love them) should read this book.

Maybe it’s because the book was written over 20 years ago, but I found it to be a book about “being a woman” and “respecting and understanding of women.”

In talking to a friend about this book, I said that “At times I feel applauded, other times insulted, I feel heard and shunned, I’m feeling!”.

This book has opened my eyes to things that I’m accustomed to seeing and never once stopped to question; it has also placed a mirror in front of me and made me question myself, my train of thought, my actions, and lack of.

It’s a book on morality and what you stand for. Call it feminism if you must; just read it.

[JadaGunther22 · Rating 5 out of 5]

“false propaganda has always been easily able to arouse barely suppressed hatred’s, the rest is tragedy “

“if you are called a man hater do not deny it
do not stop what you’re doing in order to persuade your adversary that you are really a man lover and nice too. Learn to enjoy the accusation of being a man hater or a man hating dyke or whore”

**update*** I just read this book for the second time this week and i am obsessed with it

[Patricia Jäger · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great read about second wave feminism showing how far we have come and how far we still have to go. It was inspiring and a very personal and sometimes brutally honest description of what it meant to be a second wave feminist and the toll that activism can take on one's life. I really respect the author for so openly sharing not only her and her movements successes but also the flaws.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holy shit this blew my hair back. Everyone must read this book now. Easy quick read, but what she says will have you pondering your entire life. Stop reading my review and go read this book. Reread it. Take notes. Post stickies. Do it.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short book is feminist history and philosophy 101. It is broad and relatively shallow. It’s definitely an introductory text designed to establish basic ideas and explain why feminism arose as a movement in the first place. It also covers some basic political organization concepts and advice on operating in groups to accomplish goals. I’m not well-versed in feminist history or writing, so it was a good starting point for me.

My main takeaway from any book that discusses women’s rights or race is almost always disbelief at how recent a lot of our civil rights progress is. For this reason, I think it’s good for me to hear, every now and then, about how things used to be, so that I don’t forget where these movements came from or why they matter. This book, however, pinballed between that and another uncomfortable reaction: that a lot of this sounds awfully familiar. Okay, so we’re past writing about women being considered “not real” enough work for academic recognition. Lovely, that’s good. But we are not past women tearing each other down in service of a status quo that flourishes at our expense, unfortunately. I mean, come on, there was a girl I knew from Girl Scouts who is now out there posting far-right gender role pseudoscience thinkpieces to her Instagram and telling women who were once her friends that they’re going to hell for not wanting to be housewives. She isn’t unique for that. This behavior is right there in front of us.

So. Overall, there weren’t many surprises to me in this book. The surprises that I did encounter were familiar ones. “Seriously? That used to be legal?” Obviously. Laws don’t spring fully-formed from the brow of Zeus. They are enacted in response to things. “Oh, wow, that was that recent? My mom was in high school.” Yes. As is always somehow a little shocking to you, yes. “Hmm. So that’s not a new concept, and it’s still very relevant.” Correct. That would be why women like Chesler write these things down in the first place. Few surprises—but plenty of concepts that bear repeating, on occasion. It’s good to be familiar with the basics, even if you don’t claim the label “feminist” for yourself.

As far as writing mechanics and style go: most chapters are light on stats, which weakens the book. It’s a lot of abstract theory, claims without supporting evidence in the text, and personal anecdotes. Some claims can (or could at the time) be observed in society around us. Some come directly from a primary source; when talking about a lot of second wave feminist events, aims, or writings, Chesler doesn’t need to cite anything because she was there. Other statements could really have used some footnotes, though. It isn’t an issue of no research existing at time of publication, but Chesler doesn’t cite very many other writers or studies. There is a whole bibliography in the back of the book, but it seems to be more of a recommended reading list than a works cited. Someone 27 years in the future trying to figure out what claims are backed by data and what came from where has quite the task ahead of her.

The frequent use of metaphor also weakens the book, since Chesler moves between them and very literal statements without much divide. “Is she being figurative or literal right now?” doesn’t strike me as a question you want readers to ask of an introductory text. The contrast lends itself nicely to snappiness, though. The plain, literal statements gain punch from the pretty sentences around them, and the occasional poetic phrasing of bedrock ideas makes them quite striking.

The organization is very good. Cresler’s chapters are very focused, and they are approachably concise. Each one flows logically to convey a specific argument or explain a particular topic. Each one also builds on the preceding ones admirably well. This book deals with difficult topics but is easy to read. Chesler delivers the basics without condescension or judgment, demonstrating the importance of an attitude of acceptance even more effectively than she explains it.

This book didn’t take me long to get through. It discusses a few issues through lenses I haven’t seen before or haven’t seen much that I found valuable. Chesler indicates in the first few chapters that she wrote this to arm future generations of women with the lessons she and her contemporaries learned the hard way; she says explicitly that the next generations have to figure out the next steps for themselves. I liked that lack of hard direction, because it’s the right stance for a passing of the torch on a movement. The feminism of today doesn’t look like the feminism of yesterday, and the feminism of tomorrow is still being shaped.

Pretty solid as an introductory text.

[Larly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written in 1997 this short book is both dated and yet still feels current in part, it is very American centric and second wave.

I really enjoyed this, loved the writing style and title idea. The book is a great introduction and refresher for those curious about what feminism is, was and will be.

It’s personal to Phyllis Cheslers experience and reads like a memoir or diary at times. It pulls no punches in its exploration of what it takes and what is needed to carry on fighting for equality.

Along with letter 19, the letters on motherhood and sisterhood really stood out to me as it’s not a stance explored very often and made some important observations.

Some really great quotes that rally us to come together, include not exclude and to think of future generations in our work - to look ahead and not just at what we can do for ourselves and our careers.

[Hannah Selvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chesler doesn't sugar coat the reality of her misogyny-tainted life experiences, nor does she promise and end to be in sight.

This is a good thing, because two decades later, I read it and feel as though she could have written it yesterday. Though honest and realistic, Chesler is encouraging and hopeful.

I particularly loved her chapter on the gossamer nature of love and then heartfelt words of wisdom for her budding feminist son.

[Avienda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I'd been given a few chapters of this book when I was a teenager. That said, I think the writing could use some sprucing up and the feminism could use some intersectional dusting.

An important book though, and you can bet I'll be including this in the books for my young daughters to read as they are growing up.

[Cassandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Published nearly 20 years ago, it was interesting to see how some things have changed and some things haven't. The format of writing an encouraging letter to a young feminists was a great way to pass on knowledge and a "Hey, we feel this too."

[Ariana Detrez · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book if you’re dipping your toes into learning more about Feminism. Think of Phyllis Chesler as your big sister guide into feminism. The book is a short read but impactful nonetheless.

[Lindsay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book. Simple but full of impact.

[Kristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great reminder of my feminist roots and helped rekindle my passion for women's rights!!

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though this was published in 1997 it still rings true to today. There are some really great quotes I took a photo of to have with me when needed.

[Franchesca Nicole · Rating 1 out of 5]

I am sure this book was revolutionary for its time, but reading it in 2025... most of it seems very intuitive, which I know wasn't intuitive for many women or men back then. Compared to other feminist books, this one was unfortunately very plain and boring. I know it's weird to say that feminism can be explained in a "boring manner," but I had a hard time sticking with this book. I really wanted to DNf it. It's my personal rating, though, and at the end of the day, it's by no means an attempt at an objective evaluation.

[Merisa Ferrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Delivers exactly what it promises, Letters to a Young Feminist. Including the last letter which happens to be to the author’s young feminist son.

Covers various issues that are particularly important to show young, up-and-coming feminists from the history of feminism and its principles to discussions on feminism in sex and motherhood as well as self-love. Very encouraging. Would make a great read for older teens or young adults wanting to learn more about feminism from all angles.

[Amelia · Rating 4 out of 5]

not the most radical thing but interesting stuff about academia in there

[Jaleesa]

If i could rate this more stars i would 👌👌

[Kacie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good but as it was published in 1997 its outdated. Nevertheless the key points still vaguely stand.

[Emma Combremont · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Ma chérie, as-tu déjà été mordue par le Vampire du Patriarcat?”

[Mariam · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

[Ruby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Letters to a Young Feminist was a strange book, a strange reading experience, as I found myself going between strong disagreement and approval. Chesler's book was published in 1997, in America. As a European living in 2013 I already found many elements of this book outdated: it's got its roots in second wave feminism and it shows. A lot. Vague mentions of feminist continents and re-appropriating the term man-hater - not quite compatible with my idea of feminism. Chesler can also be a bit holier-than-thou, and with some of her ideas I strongly disagree. Despite Chesler's many assurances to the contrary, I still thought this focused to much on the oppression of women rather than on equality (I'm not saying that I don't believe in the former, in some ways it is very real, but it's just that I don't find it very productive). However, I loved what she wrote about sisterhood and taking care of yourself. On the whole, I think it's a bit too outdated/America-centric for me (without being so outdated that it becomes interesting, like Friedan's The Feminine Mystique), a bit too radical perhaps as well. Would not recommend this as an introduction to feminism, but as a strange sort of memoir of a feminist's experiences during the second wave movement it certainly has its moments.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't agree with all of her sentiments, but this book is full of good reminders and food for thought. This is the type of book that should be shared and discussed so that deeper understandings can be found.

[Dana Jerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is slim and powerful. I'd like to recommend it to anyone who is curious, but maybe can't afford a women's studies course.

[Alexandra · Rating 1 out of 5]

worst ever.