The Tiny Potty Training Book: A Simple Guide for Non-Coercive Potty Training

by Andrea Olson

Just 60 years ago, over 92 percent of American children were potty trained by 18 months. After disposable diapers and the related message to wait for "readiness" hit the scene, American kids are now potty training at about 3 years old, leaving parents wondering when is it okay to potty train?

The Tiny Potty Training Book answers all of these questions and more, empowering parents with accurate information and step-by-step guidance to potty train with confidence at any age. With this book, parents can complete potty training in an average of seven days, without force, coercion, sticker charts, or bribery. Toddlers 18 months and up will gain mastery and dignity through the swift and gentle methods laid out in this book, complete with a troubleshooting section and access to private support.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

Audible Audio

First published April 1, 2015

Reviews

[Parhelion · Rating 2 out of 5]

A lot of people found this book useful. Personally, I didn't. I do like the no-nonsense, funny writing style of the author, and at a glance the approach seems simple to follow. I also found it really good for helping me learn wee cues (poo cues are easier). But... I found it hardcore, it was life consuming, it was impossible not to get stressed (and as a result my child inadvertently became stressed) and I found it was ruining my relationship with my child and my husband, and causing my child to get scared of the potty.


Let me explain in more detail. In theory, keeping an eye on your child and rushing them to the potty every time they start to wee or poo so that they associate the potty with their business seems fine (plus you learn their cues). In practice, there was more wee all over the house than ever made it in the potty. The method doesn't work for children who have no bladder control and end up almost doing a continual stream of wee because they are so stressed. It got to the point that my child was preferentially peeing all over me to avoid peeing on their own legs and to avoid sitting on the potty, even though I wasn't making it a bad experience for him. We ended up getting stressed at each other. Basically, a lot of things were going wrong despite following the book, and I fail to see how moving my kid on to pants when he is dribbling pee everywhere every 10 minutes and has reached a point I physically can't put him on the potty because he now hates it is going to work. You CANNOT be constantly wiping pee off the floor, changing your own clothes and (if you make it to getting your kid in pants) changing their clothes without being stressed or frustrated, and your kid will pick up on it and it's not good for them to see this. I'm usually pretty laid back, but this broke me.

If you like attachment parenting but you haven't done elimination communication, then you are going to struggle to find this type of potty training to be in line with your parenting values. I think it would work better on very young children, and I do agree with the premise that kids are more capable and are ready earlier than we think (and than we have been led to believe). But this method just wasn't right for us, so I'm going to try a gentler method that does not lead to both me and my child having melt downs.

I did only try this for 3 days. I have a friend who is over a month into a similar method and is still struggling. I'm not convinced these types of methods are for everyone.

[Gabby · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I read the first half of this book, the part about the actual potty training plan, I was super happy with it. If she'd stopped at page 75, this would be a four-star rating. As a plan for potty training, it's great (I haven't done it yet, but I intend to, and I know it's worked well for a friend). I also appreciated the general validation of what my mother's intuition was telling me: that my less-than-two child can potty train just fine.

That said, I got very annoyed reading the second half of the book--the "background" with history, benefits, and all that jazz. First of all, I'm very glad I borrowed because I would be furious if I paid the absurd $40 price tag for this thing. The author made a bunch of claims unsubstantiated by sources, did a lot of obnoxious self-promotion, and took a judgy "mommy wars" tone that I did not appreciate at all. Beyond that, it was wracked with blatent errors and typos--which is just rude and disrepectful to your readers whether or not you charged an arm and a leg for the thing.

Four stars for the method, two stars for the book as a whole.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read three different potty training books. I used a hybrid of this book and Oh Crap! Potty Training. I prefer Andrea's tone and gentleness when speaking to parents. The method is very similar. I do wish it was slightly cheaper. The digital version was great, but with books it's nice to be able to share them with others. You can get a similar method for about a third of the price and 3 times as much sass with Oh Crap!

[Bailey]

Here goes nothing!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I realize I'm full on nerd parenting when a book gets me pumped to potty train, but I am. In this book, Andrea gives you a brief history of potty training in our culture, versus other cultures and times. Encourages you to stay the course with a lot of great advice and resources. And there is a lined out plan; how wonderful it is to not actually have to plan out something yourself! I'm also going to pick up Diaper Free by 3 since she recommendeds it and devour any other information I can on "early" potty training. So glad to have found this gem!

[Maddie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read the entire thing and was not provided any answers on the initial fear of going to the bathroom. I also found the methodology to be very aggressive and very one-size-fits-all, which does not sit right with me. I also think there are unsaid assumptions that you have read The elimination communication book before reading this as there is very little information, support, or conversation about how to get your child mentally prepared to go in the potty even if they are physically prepared by 18 months.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the ideas presented in this book, but it’s a little browbeating. Also if you’re going to write a book on potty training, use the scientific names for genitals. The slang terms are very cringy.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't tried the method in this book yet, but it seems solid (and liquid).

Our daughter is 18 months old. Hubby and I have done a sort of half-assed Elimination Communication method since she was just a few weeks old--holding her over the toilet, cuing her to go, etc. She has been pooping in the toilet almost exclusively since she was 6 months old. Pee hasn't gone so well--at some point when she was about 10 months old, she got kind of resistant, so we backed off on it and for the past several months have been letting her pee in her diapers and changing every couple of hours.

I feel like she is probably ready, though. She loves wearing training pants (but usually just pees in them with no warning, so going commando for a while per this book's suggestion is probably gonna be the way to go...)

I feel a little apprehensive about pottying when she's out since she hasn't really used many other bathrooms while we've been mostly at home during the pandemic... plus it's winter and we go to the park a lot 0_o.... but I'm sure we can come up with something. I already ordered the "Potette," because it looks awesome and its name is adorable. Also not sure I will be able to pick up her "signals" that she's about to go, since I was never able to do that with the earlier EC method. I was hoping one day she would just magically start telling me whenever she had to go, but it's looking like some real potty training is usually necessary (and, per the book's claims, totally do-able after 18 months. My parents' generation were probably out of diapers by then, easily).

The main thing I didn't like about the book was the author's pushiness about nursing to sleep being a bad thing. At least she admitted that she herself did that with her first baby, but I didn't think the fact that she was able not to do it with her second makes it right for everyone. However, I did appreciate that she included info about pottying at night for those who are still nursing at night, so she wasn't being completely judgy. Also, after thinking about it carefully, I did decide to do some partial night-weaning (like for the second half of the night) before attempting potty training, although I had additional reasons (just time, too tired, etc.). It's still a hard thing to back off from that special relationship with my baby (now toddler), though.

Update: After also reading the Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right, which has a very similar method, I went for it while we were snowed in last week. It worked! One takeaway I liked about this book over Oh Crap! was the different "roads" to the potty. It helped me understand that since my daughter is so young, I will still have to watch out for her timing, not just for signals, etc.

[Kendrah · Rating 4 out of 5]

We also did a hybrid of this and Oh Crap! My LO is 23 months, about to be 24, and we started about a month ago. It took wayyyy longer than estimated to get as far as we have. It’s been very very challenging. But she’s finally initiating on her own and pooping in the potty all by herself etc. it’s definitely getting better. We aren’t done yet but the principles in this book seem similar to most of the books I’ve read. I may consider a different method with a second kid if there’s anything that would work faster - but if there’s anything I’ve learned about having a kid as a FTM: there isn’t much to make them learn a skill at the pace that YOU want them to do it. So I’m pretty impressed that we’ve made it this far. If you’re using this method and panicking - there is a fb support group for owners of the book and that’s been helpful. Also, stick with it. Some kids take longer. We had to do phase 1 step 1 for nearly 20 days!! Now we’re on phase 1 step 2/3. We also have pretty successfully night trained concurrently but only if we can get her to empty her bladder before bedtime.

Anyway. It’s not an easy task no matter what, but this did give me direction. The virtual book is hard to look up sections to reference, and some “troubleshooting” isn’t very elaborative so I’ve had to seek other ideas/sugfestions. All in all, it was worth it to have this resource.

[Alaina Gangestad · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps I will bump it up to four stars if it works as quickly as the author claims it will…..

Things I like:
-the no-nonsense, “your child is capable,” tone.
-the simplicity and gentleness of the method coupled with the encouragement to be confident, firm, consistent, and STICK TO IT. Wishy washyness doesn’t work in potty training…or…well, maybe just parenting in general. But this is the biggest lesson I’ve learned from potty training, having done it twice so far. With one child, I was wishy washy, with one I was consistent. The consistency made the process go MUCH faster and smoother.

Dislikes:
-really there’s only one. It kinda felt like a first draft or like it was typed on a phone (kind of like this!). It was sort of disorganized and chaotic to read, so I had to go back and reread sections a couple times to try and understand. It’s unfortunate to have to spend money on a digital copy and not have it be well-written and laid out.

Overall, I am majorly intrigued by early potty training and elimination communication and I think this book and method will be helpful. Kind of wish I would have gone full send from the beginning and done elimination communication with my kids! But here we are.

[Ginelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Andrea, a pillar in today's Elimination Communication (EC) community, teaches us that potty training is more about the parent being ready than it is about the child being ready. While she emphasizes that every child, and every experience is different, she also tells us useful statistics to encourage and support us (like: in 1957 most kids [92%] were potty trained by 18 months, and today half of the world's children are potty trained by about 12 months, both are in contrast to the average of about 37 months in the US today).

This book, while it has a few typos and such, is a wonderful resource. Andrea fully believes in the process that she is teaching, and in us as parents and our ability to guide out children in this area. I love that this process is short, matter-of-fact, and not weirdly coercive (no bribes, or rewards for using the potty here!). It simply focuses on treating your child like you would any other human while teaching them a new skill, like walking, reading, playing an instrument, etc.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend who potty trained her daughter at 21 months gave me this book when we decided to potty train our daughter at 18 months. It was the first potty training book I read, although lots of people recommended Oh Crap! to me and someone even gave me a copy of it.

This book generally suited me better than Oh Crap!. To some degree I preferred it because we have a younger child and this book supports potty training an 18 month old. I also thought the instructions were clearer and more thorough, even if they were very similar to the instructions in Oh Crap!

As a write this review, we are on Day 4 of training. We're making most catches (unless distracted! our fault) and our daughter makes short diaper-free outings. We still have a long ways to go but it feels attainable.

[Yana · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, three weeks into our Potty Training Journey at 20 months I'm happy we had this book and it's working for us.
It didn't work too well as an audiobook though. Something like a pamphlet or PowerPoint presentation might actually have been better.
I also didn't like how she made some claims beyond potty training where her understanding and priorities weren't as good.
Still, I'm glad she's putting this info out there and it helped and worked for us.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Andrea Olson for giving me the courage to do this cold turkey! Our 15-month-old daughter has been out of nappies for two weeks now, both day and nighttime, following a year of on-and-off EC which I feel definitely helped. Time to re-sell all those lovely cloth diaper covers. I won't miss (washing) them in the least.
PS. Congratulations on your baby!

[Shane Ambro · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very similar to another PT book Oh Crap! However it does have lots of useful suggestions for special situations and struggles that I often see on FB groups. If you’re using another method and having some struggles or more questions that are going unanswered get this book and check it out.

[Lauren Griffin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was empowering and straightforward! I found it super helpful to give me direction with starting potty training. I would definitely recommend to other parents and will use her book as a reference for potty training any future children.

[Theresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed reading it, we'll see how I feel after I apply the method!

[Abby Illingworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

What can I say other than IT WORKED. I now have a potty trained 20 month old.

[Amber Sumner · Rating 5 out of 5]

The kiddo has done remarkably well with this method! (Phew!)

[Su · Rating 4 out of 5]

Muito bom como guia. Funcionou.

[Stephanie Z · Rating 5 out of 5]

Second time using the book and love the support and encouragement included. Works so well!

[Emily Mimikos · Rating 5 out of 5]

To the point. I have used it successfully once and am using its method again with our second child now. It is self-published, so there are spelling errors and such, but I enjoyed the book.

[Ashley Will · Rating 3 out of 5]

A gentle narrator with seemingly good advice although it was a bit offputting when discussing supplies, promoted her own products like advertisements within the book

[Karla Vann · Rating 3 out of 5]

On one hand, this is pretty straightforward. On the other hand, I haven’t started it yet so I can’t vouch that it works 😅 I’ll let you know in 3-300 business days.

The approach really appeals to me because it is gentle and non-coercive, based on what the rest of the world does to potty-train, and lays out exactly what to do. Bonus points for teaching me to potty train before my toddler gets into his defiant stage 😅 Pretty much any question I had or could possibly think of is answered in this book, but I also love that she tells you to skip the “troubleshooting” part until you need it 😂

I’ll admit some parts are a bit confusing and/or repetitive. I feel like an author shouldn’t just copy/paste a few paragraphs from Step 2 to Step 3 just because they’re similar processes? Like, idk, paraphrase or say “see step 2” Some editing for clarity / brevity would benefit the book.

The tone seemed a little judgy at times, and offered more mom opinions than necessary (she talks about not nursing your baby to sleep, which I agree is helpful, but seriously seems irrelevant to potty training?). If you’re sensitive to that, maybe take her non-pottying advice with a grain of salt and remember that it’s okay to have different values than the author.

Overall, it’s not perfect, it’s not particularly cheap to access, but it seems to be a really positive, effective approach that makes me excited to get this little guy out of diapers before his sister arrives!

[Dania F · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. I only read about a quarter of the book..sadly the approach is not working at all on my 25 months old. She shows no signs of being about to pee or needing to pee. It just suddenly runs down in rivulets and she ll say oh Mama pipi or caca. Occasionally she may be able to give us a 5 sec headstart. So mo signs tjatbwe are supposed to notice by the end of stage one of phase one according to the book. There is also no regularity whatsoever so there are no specific times. The only tjing we can do is sit her on the potty whenever one of us has to go which works 70% of the time.

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was the be-all and end-all of potty training for us. We were able to potty train completely in 4 days using these methods. A TOTAL lifesaver! I would recommend it to anyone!