Nine Goblins: A Novella

by T. Kingfisher, Jonathan Johns (Narrator)

When a party of goblin warriors find themselves trapped behind enemy lines, it'll take more than whining (and a bemused Elven veterinarian) to get them home again.

Nine Goblins is a novella of low . . . very low . . . fantasy.

Genres: Fantasy, Novella, Fiction, Humor, Audiobook, Young Adult, Magic

5 pages, Audible Audio

First published October 27, 2013

About the author

T. Kingfisher is the vaguely absurd pen-name of Ursula Vernon. In another life, she writes children's books and weird comics, and has won the Hugo, Sequoyah, and Ursa Major awards, as well as a half-dozen Junior Library Guild selections.

This is the name she uses when writing things for grown-ups.

When she is not writing, she is probably out in the garden, trying to make eye contact with butterflies.

Reviews

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nine Goblins is a delightful tale about a ragtag group of eleven goblins. Ha ha, just kidding … there are obviously nine, duh. But there are also veterinarian elves and not-veterinarian elves and trolls and wizards and teddy bears and magic portals and, uh, weird skeleton deer things and lots of lots of absurd humor. This novella is a little (okay, a lot) sillier than previous Kingfisher books I've read, but that's in no way a bad thing. It's almost kind of Discworld meets Lord of the Rings meets a James Herriot novel, and, I mean, is there really any better combo than that?? I loved Nessilka and her band of goblin warriors and this just might be one of my new favorite high fantasy reads. 4.8 stars, rounded up.

[carol. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kingfisher wants to turn idea of goblins and elves on its head. Perhaps this is a side story to Lord of the Rings, where a band of somewhat lovable, somewhat gross goblins

There are some fabulous explanations of grumpy people goblin psychology as well: "Wherever a goblin happens to live, he complains about it constantly. This is actually a sign of affection. A desert goblin will complain endlessly about the beastly heat and the dreadful dryness and the spiky cactus. He will show you how his sunburn is peeling and the place where the rattlesnake bit him and the place where he bit the rattlesnake. He will be thoroughly, cheerfully, miserable."

As fun as that is, I can't help but think that would be more fun to see this evolve in dialogue. In fact, it does, later in the tale during dinner, and the explanation happens as an aside in a few quick sentences. Nonetheless, the descriptions are charming, playing with our expectations of romantic views of soldiering, elves and healing:

"Goblins march badly... On a good day, they will stay in step for nearly a minute before somebody gets bored, or trips, or stumbles, or forgets what he's doing and begins skipping. Small knots break off. Officers ride around on their pigs, shouting orders and leaving havoc in their wake."

Still, despite the amusing descriptions and interesting world-building, pacing could have been improved. It isn't until 25 to 30 percent into the book that a major event happens that sets up the conflict for the rest of the story. The conflict is interesting in a benign way, but then it takes an ominous turn once the goblins discover an abandoned farm and dead animals. It makes for an uneven tone, and there's a weird little bits of storylines involving racism, mental illness and power that made me just a tiny bit... squidgy.

Characters are fun and well... humanized, for lack of a better word. There's Sings-to-Trees, the only elf who seems to enjoy getting dirty in the course of his healing duties, and Sergeant Nessilka who is doing her very best to keep the goblins alive. So: high marks for world-building and language, medium marks for storytelling, and lesser marks for plotting. Bonus marks for having a story that conveys the somewhat stupid--but sincere-- and... organic charms of goblins.

It's a nice tale, but a little underwhelming in comparison to some of her other works. This is one of those times when rating might suffer a titch because of my expectations for the author. Kingfisher's other works are even better, particularly those as Ursula Vernon. I just finished Castle Hangnail and loved it. For those that want something more mature, her Jackalope Wives and The Tomato Thief are amazing short stories.

Three and a half goblins, rounding up.

[K.J. Charles]

I have been reccing T Kingfisher for some time as a kind, soothing, tough-minded, funny, well-written haven of a writer. This is a lovely little novella starring goblins, in a D&D type world with quite a lot more sense than most. Entirely fun and absorbing with a steel core.

I was saving this one for a rainy day and boy did it rain this week. Now I've entirely run out of her backlist and I want to kick things.

edit: whoops I slipped and fell in a T Kingfisher hole and now I have to reread everything.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nostalgic re-read!

Back in the day, this was my first story by T. Kingfisher, and I said ”oh, I want more!” (I have read quite a lot more since then.)

There is a war between goblins and elves/humans, and we meet a goblin regiment. There are many chuckles in the first two pages, but this is really about human colonialism, so there is darkness behind all the fun stuff.

We meet Sergeant Nessilka.
”She was built like a chunk of granite, and she could carry a live boar under one arm.”

”Not daring to look behind for fear of finding that she was making a suicide charge all on her own, she continued forward.”

What’s not to love, I ask you?

We meet Sings-to-Trees, while he is helping a unicorn give birth. (Don’t try this at home.) He is an elvish Dr Doolittle and he is adorable.
”The destructive capacity of small cute animals was really quite astonishing.”

In the midst of a battle, Nessilka and some of her “boys” happen to get transported to a faraway place (magic happens, that’s why).
”Travelling through thick woods with a troop of goblins is not unlike a nature hike with a group of grumpy toddlers with weapons.”

Naturally, the goblins meet Sings-to-Trees. Great conversations and interactions happen. But there is something very mysterious and very, very, very dark going on...

The idea of magic abilities as AMD - Arcane Manifestation Disorder was very interesting. In other words, the wizards of this universe are neurodiverse. I wish this was explored more, the novella length wasn’t enough. Also, on a re-read I felt that as far as representation went, this wasn’t top-notch at all.

The ending is quite satisfying. I am keeping my five stars.

P.S. Trolls are wonderful. Trolls are awwww. Unicorns are pieces of shit. Now you know.

[EveStar91 · Rating 4 out of 5]

How the Goblin War (if you asked the humans) or the Glorious Conflict Resisting The Ongoing Human Aggression (if you asked the goblin generals) or the Bloody Miserable Mess (if you asked the Nineteenth Infantry) got started really depends on which side was doing the talking.

Nine Goblins are transported by magic to enemy territory and have to navigate hostile land, befriending a veterinarian elf and deal with elven military, all while trying to survive a strange siren song magic that destroyed a human village.

She didn’t want to wake up and be the sergeant. Being the sergeant was thankless, and they didn’t pay you very much more, and when something went wrong, you were the one that had to fix things. Responsibility was lousy.

The novel has the depth and insight into people hidden in the straightforward humour as per T. Kingfisher's style. The characters are earnest and I couldn't help but sympathize with Nessilka, the goblin sergeant in charge of the rest. The plot starts out simple, with the Goblins trying to survive war and then simply get back to a friendly location, but the story soon reveals themes of racism or speciesism and indigenous communities against the onslaught of land grabbing and expansionist colonialism. On the whole, a good light read and recommended for T. Kingfisher fans.

🌟🌟🌟🌟
[3/4 star for the premise; 3/4 star for the characters; 3/4 star for the plot; Half a star for the world-building; 3/4 star for the writing - 4 stars in total.]

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Smart goblins became mechanics. Dumb goblins became soldiers. Really dumb goblins became officers.”

In typical Kingfisher fashion, this story is as entertaining and hilarious as it is a little poignant and a little dark and a little scary and stuff. The characters are quirky as fish (kidnapping Sargeant Nessilka, her Goblin contingent—life-saving teddy bear and kitten included—and Sings-to-Trees the Elven veterinarian as we speak) and scrumptuous creatures abound (gargoyles and parade pigs and unicorns and pet coyotes and colicky wyverns and rats the size of ponies, oh my!).

“Humans and elves will tell you that goblins are stinking, slinking, filthy, sheep-stealing, cattle-rustling, henhouse-raiding, disgusting, smelly, obnoxious, rude, unmannerly, and violent. The goblins would actually agree with all that, and they might add “cowardly” and “lazy” to the list as well. Goblins have lots of flaws, but few illusions.”

There are eyeballs in gruel (à la Indiana Jones), splattered goblins, loincloths made from rancid goathides, swords named after goldfishes, bedraggled lunatics, weekly desertions, and looky-tube-things.

“Travelling through thick woods with a troop of goblins is not unlike a nature hike with a group of grumpy toddlers with weapons.”

Also, reading this book will explain why pancake-making is not always a sign of good mental health, that cheerful complaints can be quite complimentary indeed, that rat squeezins can be downright delicious, that magic is a form of psychosis, that goblins aren't kitten people (pretty sure Algol would beg to differ here), and that naming supply goats is never a good idea.

“Raiding? Corporal, there are nine of us.” Nine goblins could, on a good day, probably disrupt a child’s tea party or decimate a chicken coop, but Nessilka wouldn’t have put them against anything bigger.”

Oh, and in case you hadn't noticed, the only main reason I wrote this thing non-review is to share too many quotes from the book. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I slightly liked this story.

“Maybe Finchbones was right, and you never knew why anything changed. Maybe it was all down to small things. Like teddy-bears. And kittens. And goblins.”

The end 😬.

[Olga Godim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some reviewers say this book is funny. I didn’t find it funny. There were hilarious moments, sure, but overall, it’s a scary, poignant tale about the brutality of war and the price of humanity, even though the main characters are nine goblin soldiers and one elf veterinarian.
The parallels with Terry Pratchett’s books are glaring. Like Pratchett, T. Kingfisher dares to expose a war through satire, but also like Pratchett, she couldn’t stay light-hearted.
On the surface, her book is a farce. Nine goblin soldiers got tossed deep behind enemy lines by magic. The heroine, their leader Sergeant Nessilka, is trying to get her unfortunate charges back home. She views herself more of a babysitter than a military commander. She doesn’t want to win the war or anything. She just wants to keep her ‘boys’ alive.
The farcical frame of this story is just a shell, containing deeper ideas and painful truths. For example, the war the goblins are fighting is a ‘just’ one: humans are pushing them out of their habitats, into extinction. But the book is more about our unwillingness (or inability) to understand the others’ culture and traditions than about who is right and who is wrong.
Before that war started, the goblins sent a delegation to the humans, to try to iron out their differences. Here is the author’s description of that delegation, and the humans’ reaction to it.

Many of the subtleties were lost on the humans. The lean bodies of war pigs in fighting trim looked feral and half-starved to human eyes, and the patterns of black earth, in which a goblin could’ve read whole volumes about tribal affiliations and clan standing, looked like streaky dirt and caked dust. Coup markers of bone and stone, denoting enemies slain and great deeds done, were seen as garbage trapped in unwashed hair. Where goblins would see high-ranking emissaries in full regalia, the humans saw a raggle-taggle band, ill-kempt and filthy, to be held in pity and contempt.

Are the goblins dirty savages because they ride war pigs? Or are the humans ignorant rubes because they see pigs and think only: ‘hams’?
This novella gives us the races, as we’re used to seeing them in countless books by other writers. The author didn’t invent anything. Her elves are beautiful and arrogant. Her goblins are dirty and smelly, with green skin and fangs. But those are just outside trappings. Inside, all of them, like all of us, are human beings, with the common human failings and the less common but still unmistakably human generosity of spirit and kindness of heart. If we stop to reevaluate our habitual hatreds, that is.
One of the most unusual characters of the book, one of its protagonists, in fact, is an elf Sings-to-Trees. He is a veterinarian. Contrary to what we know of the elves, of their penchant for beautiful objects, Sings-to-Trees doesn’t keep any beautiful objects at home. They are mostly breakable, and he uses his home as a hospital for his recuperating animal patients, who like to try their teeth and claws on anything. Regarded as odd by other elves, Sings is so full of compassion, it shines out of him like a golden star. On the other hand, like most doctors, he is a very sensible fellow, with no sentimentality. He becomes the goblins’ ally in their drive to get home. Unfortunately, there is a malevolent magic in their way, and both hostile races, goblins and elves, must cooperate if they hope to defeat it.
Kingfisher’s approach to magic is unique. She views it as a form of mental illness. Which might be right, for all I know.
A very strong book, disturbing and thought-inspiring.

[JasonA · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love T. Kingfisher. Whether it's horror or fantasy, you can count on her quirky and loveable characters stealing the show. Now, she somehow has made me sympathize and want to hang out with goblins.

As far as I can tell, this story isn't set in any of Kingfisher's other fictional worlds. It seems to be a straight up fantasy world, except that magic is a symptom of madness. That's a take I've not seen before, but really would like to see it explored in more detail. I'd love to see some more stories set in this world and I wouldn't say no to a direct sequel or two (or six).

This is a short read, so I tried to do the same with the review. If you like T. Kingfisher, fantasy books with a good dose of humor or just ever wanted to read a story from a goblin's point of view, then I highly recommend this novella.

[John Wiswell · Rating 5 out of 5]

The comedy that goblins deserve! A spry, plucky book about a band of goblins who want what we all do: to slack off without getting executed or ingested. What's more relatable than that?

[Tasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Freakin' delightful. Reminds me greatly of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, with distinctive, interesting races roaming around, a few practical, put-upon leaders trying to keep things under control, and a fond but mildly cynical tone about how people operate, and what can be done to make them better. I loved the protagonist, and could do with more books about her. And the book's take on magic as essentially a form of mental illness that takes over certain people. Clever, entertaining, weird, and a little wistful. Looking forward to moving on to the author's recently published novel.

[Algernon · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Too dumb to desert. To smart to die.”

Goblins, the perennial ugly and easily dispatched adversary for the heroes of fantasy novels and of role-playing games, probably deserve their bad reputation. But they don’t deserves to be pushed to the brink of extinction by the destruction of their natural habitats and by the encroaching settlements of the humans.
When goblins finally attempt to defend their last crumbling territory, known as Goblinhome, they are called terrorists and worse names. Human armies, supported by elves and wizards, are sent to punish them. We’ve heard this before, from countries who lay claim to some sort of manifest destiny that gives them rights over the lands of less militarily accomplished native populations.

The war is going badly for the goblins, but there’s nowhere left to go for these creatures. Sergeant Nessilka has an infantry platoon to lead into battle, and she’s smart enough to focus on survival rather than winning glory on the field of slaughter. [According the the author, only dumb goblins become soldiers and the really dumb ones become officers]
All her efforts to keep out of trouble, and out of the higher officer’s eyes, become moot when they charge at a wizard and get entangled in a spelling mishap that teleports Nessilka and her companions hundreds of miles in the wrong direction, behind enemy lines.
She is not rating their chances of making it back to Goblinhome very high.

Travelling through thick woods with a troop of goblins is not unlike a nature hike with a group of grumpy toddlers with weapons.

>>><<<>>><<<

This is my first story from T Kingfisher, and I knew from the very first pages that I am on to something I will like. Seeing as my two major complaints after finishing my ebook are that the whole set-up was too short and that it was not turned into a series of novellas, like the Murderbot one or the Penric and Desdemona adventures, I think it is a safe bet that T Kingfisher will be featured again on my TBR lists in the near future.

Humans and elves will tell you that goblins are stinking, slinking, filthy, sheep-stealing, cattle-rustling, henhouse-raiding, disgusting, smelly, obnoxious, rude, unmannerly, and violent.
The goblins would actually agree with all that, and they might add “cowardly” and “lazy” to the list as well. Goblins have lots of flaws, but few illusions.

This is not the first time I’ve read something that tries to reverse the accepted canon started by Tolkien: trolls, orcs and goblins bad, elves dreamy and dwarves grumpy. But it is one of the most entertaining ones, without falling into cheap caricature or losing sight of some biting social commentary. Kingfisher doesn’t quite achieve the master class presented by Sir Terry Pratchett in his Discworld books, but she isn’t that far off the mark either.
The plot is a little simplistic and the jokes are sometimes a little forced and silly, but the characters are colourful and easy to adopt, not only the disgusting goblins but also the token elf, Sings-to-Trees, who lives alone taking care of forest creatures, or the tender-hearted troll Frogsnoggler, who is afraid of small scratches and medical treatments.

Nine goblins could, on a good day, probably disrupt a child’s tea party or decimate a chicken coop, but Nessilka wouldn’t have put them against anything bigger.

Similar to Pratchett, this is a thinly veiled invitation to reject the peddlers of hate and racial, gender or any other form of prejudice by appealing to common sense and tolerance. Kingfisher gets an extra star for not being obnoxious and preachy in her delivery, never losing sight of her initial plan to write a humorous tale of underdogs defying the odds and surviving the worst the world can throw at them.

Goblins are nasty and smelly and grumpy and have bad attitudes, but they’re not inherently bad. They’re pretty much like anybody else. They don’t kill people for fun, regardless of what the propaganda posters say. And this guy was a wizard, and wizards were scary, but you had to feel a little sorry for them, too. They probably hadn’t wanted to wake up one day with the power to unmake the world.
Nessilka shook her head. “We’re not going to kill him.”

also,
Maybe Finchbones was right, and you never knew why anything changed. Maybe it was all down to small things.
Like teddy bears. And kittens.
And goblins.

[Netanella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and quirky and cozy in a goblin-y way, "Nine Goblins" is a low fantasy novella of a troupe of goblins, the "Whinin' Nines," who find themselves deep behind enemy lines due to a rogue wizard spell. For those readers familiar with T. Kingfisher, her writing style is disarming and charming, as are her characters, and here her party of four-foot, green lumpy goblins are loveable in all of their gross, hairy, stinky, silly habits. And in addition to the amusing dialogue and characters, Kingfisher also delivers a deeper message about the futility of warfare, and taking the time to learn the cultural differences of other peoples, whether they are human, elf, goblin, or troll. This was a great read, very enjoyable, but with hidden depths for those who want to look.

[Panda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Audiobook (5 hours) narrated by Jonathan Johns
Publisher: Tantor Media, Inc.

I love this author but not this book.

[Mitticus · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars



Smart goblins became mechanics. Dumb goblins became soldiers. Really dumb goblins became officers.

Esta es la historia de una tropa de goblins durante la guerra goblin/humana, contado en estilo sarcástico con momentos de humor (semejante a Pratchett como otros han señalado) y otros de comentario acerca de la guerra, y de nativos desplazados por conquistadores foráneos, y de esa falta de comunicación o mejor dicho de no querer molestarse en comprender culturas ajenas y que conlleva a esos mismos conflictos.



Nessilka had been in any number of battles, and she couldn’t remember the first ten minutes of any of them.
She had a theory that if you could remember the first ten minutes, you’d never, ever charge at anybody again, so parts of your brain blotted them out.
The problem was that she couldn’t imagine why her brain would want her to continue charging at people, and this then led her to the theory that parts of her brain worked for the Goblin High Command, which she didn’t like at all.

La sargento Nessilka esta conciente que esta a cargo del Nineteen sabe que su deber es mantener vivos a sus soldados,



She cast around for the next most responsible person on the chain of command, and sighed. Oh well, no help for it. “Blanchett, the bear’s in charge.”
He made the bear salute. “He says he’s honored by your trust, Sarge!”
Nessilka nodded. He can’t be any worse than some of the generals…

...Y es asi como terminan detras de las tropas enemigas y conocen a nuestro otro personaje , un elfo veterinario Sings-to-Trees que se sale completamente del estandard y no aparece inmaculado ni con cosas brillantes porque cura a cualquier cosa viviente, grandes y pequeños, y sobre todo con el nacimiento del unicornio en toda su hedionda gloria , congelamiento y patadas me recuerda a James Herriot (de Todas las criaturas grandes y pequeñas ), asi que vacas o trols todos son iguales en su mundo.

You would have had a hard time enforcing the rules. Whereas elves—well—”
“You’re tall and impressive looking and you can put an arrow into a squirrel’s eye from a hundred paces,” said Nessilka.
“There’s that, yeah. We had charisma and numbers and mayhem. All you had were pigs and enthusiasm. It’s not your fault.”

Los personajes y sus peculiaridades y esta magia que aparece o desencadena individuos sicoticos da un giro diferente. y dan ganas de saber que es de ellos, hay una segunda parte que nunca fue terminada Elf vs Orc de los cuales hay unos cuantos capitulos en linea:

https://www.redwombatstudio.com/2006/...

Vale la pena darle un vistazo a esta novela corta.

[Kristin B. Bodreau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so glad that I still have so many Kingfisher books to go. And I am going to be so sad when I eventually run out.

One of my absolute favorite skills of hers is how she crafts a story with no villain. Terrible things happen. People are absolutely at fault. Innocents suffer. But there is always a reason. And the reason is always heartbreakingly human. Love or pain or fear or loneliness. Something that each one of us can relate to.

Now, I am going to make an attempt to read something other than Kingfisher. But I probably won't like it as much.

[Jukaschar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nine Goblins reminds me a lot of Terry Pratchett. The tone is lighthearted, but the message isn't lighthearted at all. For me, this book is primarily an anti-war manifesto.

Ursula Vernon also brings the topic of mental illness into the scenario and for some reason I find it really hard to come to a clear opinion on that. Seems like I have to let it simmer for a while and come back to it later.

But I also can't bring myself to dislike the story, so that explains the rating.

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nine Goblins is the humorous but also quite dark tale of a band of nine goblin warriors who end up far behind enemy lines when a wizard accidentally transports them in the middle of a battle. It's up to their reliable but beleaguered sergeant and an elven veterinarian to get them back to Goblinhome in one piece.

Nine Goblins is part a subversion of standard fantasy tropes by putting goblins as the main characters and making fun of both humans and elves and also a criticism of war and prejudice via a fantasy lens. While this is often described as a fun romp of low fantasy, it gets surprisingly dark towards the end and has borderline horror elements to it.

Unfortunately, this really suffers from having been one of Kingfisher's early stories and it's difficult to come back to after having read her more recent works where you can see how much she's grown as a writer. It also suffers from trying to take on too many things in a novella format. The pacing is uneven and there isn't really a lot of time available to explore some of the themes that are brought up.

There are some great ideas in here and many humorous lines that I ended up highlighting just because Kingfisher's snarky observations have always worked well for me. And I do love her ideas about making goblins very sympathetic and the total underdogs of the story. But it felt like this story was more individual concepts that aren't fully explored than a cohesive narrative.

As a character-driven reader, I never felt like I got more than surface level even when I liked what I got of the characters. And on a plot level this seemed too slow to work for most plot-driven readers.
Additionally, I definitely agree with reviews that have mentioned the "magic = mental illness" and some of the prejudices didn't feel particularly well handled or explored.

Overall, Nine Goblins is easily my least favorite story that I've picked up from Kingfisher. I was expecting a fun romp and while I enjoyed parts of it, it just didn't execute on the level that I was expecting from a Kingfisher story. If you pick it up, definitely know that this is one of her earlier stories and you'll have to give it some leeway.

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't think this is quite low fantasy - though it does concern bodily functions of not only goblins but unicorns as well. It does, in part, poke gentle fun at some fantasy themes and ideas. It is hard not see a reference to white people taking away land from native residents as well.

The main thrust of the story is the adventures of nine goblins who find themselves behind enemy lines.

They rescue a kitten. It is important that you know this.

There is also a teddy bear that may or may not talk.

Trolls make an appearance.

It is a rather lovely little story.

[Andi · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.75 | 4.75 stars rounded up

I adored this novella! Like all T. Kingfisher books, this is utterly charming, witty, and imaginative with a signature darker undertone.

I loved getting to know each member of the Ninteenth Infantry and the quirks if the goblin race. I also really enjoyed the juxtoposition with Sings-to-Trees and his vet work (and all the critters, too).

Kingfisher handles themes of land grabbing, racial/ethnic prejudice, and war delicately while infusing the commentary with her signature intelligence and humor.

The darkness introduced added a level of depth to the story that suprised me, which I really enjoyed.

So impressed with how much story is in so few pages. Fingers crossed for a sequel 👀

Huge thank you to Tor for the ARC!

[Terry Rudge · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nine Goblins was a charming short story, a bit silly, a bit chaotic, and m pretty adorable in places. It didn’t try to be anything more than it was, and that’s both its strength and its weakness. As an in between read, it hit the spot nicely, but it definitely lacked the kind of depth or substance that would make it linger after you close the last page.

Nessilka was probably the standout for me. quirky, capable, and strangely endearing as she wrangled her little squad of goblins through absolute nonsense with surprising aplomb. The whole crew had that scrappy, loveable misfit energy that made the story tick along in a very fun way.

This was my first time picking up anything by T. Kingfisher, and while this particular story didn’t blow me away, it was enjoyable enough that I’ll definitely dip into more of her work. Sometimes a light, fun read is exactly what you need and this fit the bill perfectly.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Goblins do not have the best reputation of fantasy creatures.

From drug pushing to baby snatching to shady loans, they are generally looked down upon as immoral and untrustworthy, as well as rude and unhygienic.

They are not considered to be the type of bloodthirsty monster that needs to be killed with fire and sword immediately, nor the kind of highfalutin antagonist that one should engage in highbrow conversational duels as large opposing plots build up, but definitely they are considered the type to avoid in social settings, and that one should cross to the other side of the street to avoid passing them on the sidewalk.

Kingfisher’s goblins are perfectly respectable – by their own standards – and really get the short end of the human-encroachment stick, and a muddy, bloody, slog of war erupts due to poor communications. It’s like WWI as written by Arnold Lobel.

This story follows a command of goblins who accidentally get stuck behind enemy lines and are desperate to get back home before being discovered by humans or elves. They are led by Sargent Nessilka, who views herself as more babysitter than military leader, considering the maturity level of her soldiers.

Meanwhile there is an elf who is decidedly un-elf like, being a veterinarian unconcerned with the purely aesthetic aspects of life, and willing to (gasp!) get his hair mused.

It’s only a matter of time before elf and goblin run into each other, and when they do, they just might be able to help each other – if that pesky war doesn’t get in the way. The story has a lot to say about the futility of war, in a Terry Pratchett style – humor with a bitter sting because there are real consequences here and no rainbows and soft serve ice cream endings.

It gets bad and then worse before it gets better, but there is a some hope at the end that, at least on the individual level, change is possible.

[Žarko]

Ostala mi valjda još samo jedna knjiga od autorke, pročitao sam, pa, dvocifren broj njenih knjiga, i evo u random novelici dok sam mislio da sam na poznatom terenu opasno me iznenadila. Krene kao humoristički ratni fantasy i u sekundi neočekivano skrene u efektan i uznemirujuć horor kojim se bavi drugu polovinu knjige. Da horor ume itekako video sam u The Twisted Ones, a ovde su vidljive preteče pojava koje su tamo drugačije razrađene (cervidian/effigy).

Volim kad me ovako zeznu.

[Karina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely read - it seems unfair to go all "Like Pratchett!" on an author with her very own exemplary brand of sharp wit, but, well, it's a funny-but-fierce war story with wizards and goblins in it, so there.

[Terry Graybill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charming. Feels like a novella in the same vein as a Terry Pratchett book. This is the first book with goblins in which the goblins were funny, quirky and appealing but definitely goblins.

Read when you need something cheery to buoy your spirits.

[Linden · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nine Goblins was Kingfisher’s first work, a novella originally published in 2017 and being re-released in 2026. A band of goblins is trapped behind enemy lines, having been transported there by a wizard. I am a big fan of Kingfisher’s recent work, but this one seemed to me almost like a school assignment written by someone who had just read Terry Pratchett. Very disappointed. Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the ARC.

[Glory · Rating 4 out of 5]

Все, что вы хотели знать о гоблинах, но стеснялись спросить.
Или боялись.
Или не хотели, но теперь деваться некуда.
Аннотация заявляет, что это "low...very low...fantasy". И видимо, мое чувство юмора тоже "very low", потому что я ржал аки конь.

История незадачливого отряда гоблинов, угодившего в нештатную ситуацию.
Повесть не слишком большая, потому о сюжете говорить бессмысленно. Стебная сказочка с налетом Пратчетта и морем обаятельных персонажей.
Помимо основных событий, автор периодически ударяется в описание внутреннего быта гоблинов, а заодно их традиций, слабостей, отношений с людьми и эльфами и прочего. Ну прямо "В мире животных". В голове то и дело раздавался голос Дроздова))

Smart goblins became mechanics. Dumb goblins became soldiers. Really dumb goblins became officers.

How the Goblin War (if you asked the humans) or the Glorious Conflict Resisting The Ongoing Human Aggression (if you asked the goblin generals) or the Bloody Miserable Mess (if you asked the Nineteenth Infantry) got started really depends on which side was doing the talking.

If a goblin eats something without complaining, it was so bad he doesn’t want to dwell on it. (Gruel among the Nineteenth Infantry had recently reached this point, and breakfast had become a silent, glum affair.)

Goblins march badly. They have enormous thick feet like elephants, so they are quite good at walking, but they have no rhythm, and very few goblins have ever mastered the ability to tell left from right without stopping to think about it.

В отличие от того же Пратчетта, при чтении которого я порой стопорилась и отматывала назад, здесь автор не заморачивается. Легкими штрихами она создает простую, но яркую картинку и невероятных героев.
В общем, я уже заприметила пару ее историй - судя по цитатам, весьма забавных. Потом расскажу ;)
Ну а за эту - заслуженные четыре звезды.
Если у вас мизинчик от рождения не оттопырен, и вы знаете, что феечки не какают бабочками - советую попробовать.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ursula is one of my favourite artists and authors and she did not fail to deliver in this. This book is hilarious and fun and silly, but covers some very very serious subjects about racial relations, mental illness, and war.

The best thing I can say about this book is that it has an elf veterinarian who is one of my favourite characters I've ever come across.

I will give a warning that there is some graphic violence in this, depictions of death of children, and some unflattering descriptions of mentally ill people (by the bad guys, primarily, it is overall positive about mental health struggles).

This is a book I look forward to reading again and I bought a copy for my vet tech partner before I even finished it.

[5y1v4r · Rating 5 out of 5]

A shame it was only a novella because I wanted to read more. Definitely the best book with an elven veterinarian I've ever read. Kept me up late read and kept my husband up late because I kept laughing.

[ezra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and Titan Books for this ARC!

“Nine Goblins” is a re-release of the first adult book T. Kingfisher ever published. With her trademark charm and humour Kingfisher tells the story of a regiment of Goblins fighting in the Goblin War between goblins, elves and humans. When a confrontation with an evil wizard leaves nine of them stranded deep behind enemy lines, goblin sergeant Nessilka has to figure out how to get her chaotic group back home without bringing any harm to themselves or others, but that is much easier said than done.

I had a fantastic time with this book. The writing was simple but also drew you in, made you feel like you were right there with them. And while the characters are deliberately overdrawn and silly, they are also absolutely lovable, and by the end of this novella I adored each of them and didn't want to let them go.

While there are some bloody scenes, I would definitely say they are in the stark minority, so even if you're not into that you can definitely read this one.

This entire book was just a really great time, fun and silly, absolutely impossible not to adore. Personally I would however more so approach this as if it were YA (I am unsure if it is supposed to be YA or adult), because it definitely reads more like that than it does read adult.

Still, I highly recommend this. A very fun, quick read. If you already liked Kingfisher’s other books, you will like this too, and if you haven’t checked her work out before this is definitely not a bad place to start.

[Jamie Dacyczyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

As always, T. Kingfisher books are deeply entertaining. As far as I can tell, this is the first book published under the Kingfisher name (versus children's books written as Ursula Vernon), and it's interesting to see the early seeds for later ideas. Being a novella, it's not as deeply developed as some of her other books, but it was still FUN.....That is, it's fun right up until the point that it isn't. That's another Kingfisher trademark: a fun, quirky book with colorful characters that feels like a light romp....and then it gets really dark. At around the 75% mark, things take a grim turn and you almost wonder how this is the same book. I was wondering why this was a Kingfisher book, rather than an Ursula Vernon book for children. Ah. Ah, that grim turn is why.

Overall, I enjoyed this little book. I don't know if I need to add it to my own collection (good thing, because I don't know if it's even in print). Still worth the read.