*4.25 out of 5 Stars
I rarely pick up new releases when they're still 'new' releases but I stumbled upon the audiobook for this one on Storytel yesterday and it released about 6 months ago, I haven't seen it on bookstagram yet and I just dove in!
And it was so good! I got some Mean Girl vibes, a bit of Heartstopper vibes and even some Love, Simon vibes.
Jay has just moved to a new city with her mother and brother, and has promised to try to fit in at the new school. That means being called 'Jennifer', growing her hair out, quitting skateboarding and wearing The Skirt - basically becoming someone else, someone her mother desperately wants her to be so she'll be safe and happy but she's not.
All it does is make Jay start leading a secret double life: sneaking out early mornings, dressed up like a boy in her brother's clothes, to spend some time doing what she loves. At the park, she meets Alex, another skateboarder who maybe likes Jay as a boy. And at school, Mina, Jay's 'Buddy' becomes her friend and maybe likes Jay as a girl. But how is Jay supposed to know who to crush on when she's unsure of who she is?
The struggle and confusion of not knowing who you are when you're being told who you're supposed to be was kind of painful to watch. I was quite outraged and angry on Jay's behalf for most of the story. My favourite character was her brother, Jamie - just a year older but close like a twin - he always looks out for Jay, wanting the best for her, wanting to protect her but not clip her wings and happiness. He's amazing and I'm glad Jay had him and a couple other cool people in their corner!
This is a very well-written and heartwarming story, and so important for anyone who is or might be queer or might be struggling with their identity as well as sexuality and wanting to fit in but at what cost..?
This was such a quick listen and so informative, and I wish I had the physical copy to annotate the uplifting quotes.