The Good Fight: Wanting to Leave, Choosing to Stay, and the Powerful Practice for Loving Faithfully

by Jana Kramer

Hosts of the award-winning Whine Down podcast, Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin explore the raw and real moments of their marriage—what it means to love, to fight, and to sincerely forgive—with spiritual guidance and practical advice for anyone seeking stronger, more fulfilling love.

From the beginning, Mike and Jana had the kind of everyday arguments that drive even the happiest couples apart. Money, careers, insecurity, jealousy...And then kids, infidelity, addiction, and growing walls around their individual hearts. Many people would have separated. But Jana and Mike discovered something While fighting under the worst possible circumstances, they learned how to fight for each other with respect, kindness, humor, and faith.

The Good Fight reveals how one couple decided to honor their forever love by battling it out and staying together, told from both sides. With honesty, warmth, and hilarity, Jana and Mike walk us through the details of the most complicated fights of their past. They show listeners how they've communicated, prayed, forgiven, and radically embraced each other to live their happiest, most fulfilling lives possible, and offer lessons anyone—married, dating, single—can use to give and receive lasting love.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Memoir, Marriage, Relationships, Biography

Audible Audio

First published September 22, 2020

Reviews

[Jess]

DNF at 25%. I thought this was a memoir. Imagine my shock when it’s a MARRIAGE ADVICE book.. from two people who have been married for 5 years, in therapy for 4 of those, and repeatedly separated. The “husband’s” parts were borderline insufferable. He routinely gaslights her and calls it therapy. I cannot.

[Ceara]

Edit: I take back what I said. Recently found out that Jana had a fling years ago with Gleb Savchenko, who is married with children so I have no sympathy for her anymore. You would think after knowing how it feels to be cheated on by your husband, that you wouldn’t want to inflict that on another woman, but nope, she knowingly slept with a married man. So enjoy your cheating husband Jana.

Mike is a serial cheater and continues to cheat on Jana. She is the exact definition of a doormat. She deserves to be with someone who loves her enough to keep his dick in his pants and not have a wandering eye. What is love without loyalty and trust? One-sided love is what it is. She continues to forgive him so he will continue to gaslight her and cheat and blame it on his sex addiction and insecurities.

Despite what cheaters and women who choose to stay with them like to say, choosing to stay with someone that is not faithful to you, does not make you strong, it makes you weak. Also if your partner really did love you, they would not cheat. Sorry not sorry. Cheating is a choice, not a mistake. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

This is how you know when you are in a one-sided relationship:

1. You’re constantly second-guessing yourself.
2. You apologize more than you need to.
3. You’re always making excuses for your partner.
4. You feel insecure about your relationship.
5. You do all of the heavy lifting.
6. Your partner's calendar takes priority.
7. You put in more effort than your partner.
8. You prioritize your partner, but they do not prioritize you over anything else.

[Mahmoud Ghoz · Rating 2 out of 5]

You can't take this book seriously, it is a personal journey for a toxic husband and wife. This book is a bio for both of them including some personal experience and some therapy tips.
I can see that they are trying to gain some money out of their misery.

[Jamie Finn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been listening to Jana and Mike’s podcast on and off for the past year, and I am in awe of their raw honesty and transparency about Mike’s struggle with addiction with sex and Jana’s turmoil with being married an addict.
This book is an amazing glimpse into what their therapy has taught them, and how they continue to work on their marriage and themselves and fight for themselves and each other.

[Em Cooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jana and Mike have been through a lot. But instead of giving up and walking away, they fight for the good. It’s refreshing. And heartbreaking at times. But the question they ask over and over again, “do you want to be right, or do you want to be heard?” If you don’t fight for what matters in your life, what are you missing out on?
•
i learned a lot about myself listening to this one. it’s hard not to feel shame about some of the things you’ve done or said in the last, but it’s all about progress, not perfection.
thank you for being so honest and willing to share your journey. this is a really good resource for anyone trying to fight their way through any relationship.
•
i’m sure the hard copy of this will be a good resource, but i loved the audiobook. hearing Jana and Michael tell their story was moving. Highly recommend!

[Brynn | readyourworriesaway · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been listening to Whine Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin for about a year. I really appreciate their raw honesty as I’m sure it helps so many others going through similar struggles that they have experienced. Too many celebrities portray their lives as perfect on social media— but I always find myself more drawn to those that share the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good Fight will equip you with numerous communication tools that you can use to strengthen your relationship. Jana and Mike shared stories of struggles they have faced and what worked to pull themselves out of the deep end. Through much trial and error, they have learned to communicate better and understand what the other needs in order to feel loved and heard. I flew through this one in less than 24 hours!

[Mediaman · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book written way too soon by a celebrity couple that seems to be in love with fighting and going through therapy. The whole book is one long therapy rehash, with all sorts of catch phrases used that helped the couple but may not help others. It was hard to accept much of what the authors wrote when they admitted to doing (and continue to do) so many bad things to each other.

I'm sure some will find comfort in this level of openness, but I found the book to be difficult to follow and unorganized. They supposedly go back and forth in chapters with their names listed on their respective sections, but I found a number of mistakes in the book where it suddenly switched from her to him without his name attached to it.

Also their timelines get mixed up, so they never deliver a consistent narrative regarding when things happened nor what exactly went on. Namely they only reveal as much as they want us to see, and I began to suspect that much of the disorganization was to give them the ability to hide some facts. For example, Michael's references to his "sex addiction" are incredibly vague and there is great controversy regarding whether there even is such a thing. He simply is a cheater who can't keep a commitment to one woman, but fails to accept some personal responsibility for it by classifying it as an addiction that he can't control.

It ended up being a frustrating read. While I admire their commitment to their faith and some of the lessons they learned from five years in therapy, I came away not believing some of what they said and that their relationship is not mature enough to be publishing a book of marriage advice. They're trying to claim victory but still very much in the middle of the fight.

[Lynne M · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, this book sure aged well! HAHA.

Even before news of their split, from her podcast, all I could think was that this marriage was going to end in divorce. She comes off as a doormat, repeatedly taking him back after he's repeatedly cheated on her, and he comes off like Charles Boyer in "Gaslight." (If you don't get my reference, look up that film from Old Hollywood. Great film, and it is where the current popular phrase "gaslighting" stems from.)

I get wanting to stay together for your kids, but trust me, if your kids grow up in an unhappy household where the father is constantly unfaithful to the mother, they will suffer in the long run. I hope Jana and Mike handle their divorce well and abstain from bashing one another on social media and on the podcast, etc. because one day their kids will know about everything.

[Thea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been listening to whine down since the beginning, this book was wonderful.

[Braden · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book years ago when I was heavily into Jana and Mike’s podcast. While I appreciate it and think the information is helpful and relevant, it does not really apply to my life in this moment. I have a goal to clear off most of my TBR shelf and this book happened to be on it. I don’t regret reading it (and found it even more enjoyable to listen to, like a blast-from-the-past podcast episode), but likely won’t reach for it again until necessary.
🎧

[Valla · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick read. Some good strategies woven with tidbits of their story. The strategies aren't different than any other relationship book. I wish they would have shared more of their story up front so I had context while reading.

[Leanne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to read this one before I read Jana's new book. I thought it would give me some more insight into their relationship... like their podcast. This was more of a marriage advice book. It was okay, but it's hard to give it any credibility.

[Morgan King · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so good!!! I love listening to Mike & Jana weekly on their podcast and this book was so refreshing, I love learning more about them and hearing them share their stories!

[Kristen Lowry · Rating 3 out of 5]

Considering we already know the outcome, not the best, but there are some helpful tips in this for relationships.

[Ashley Montan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book BEFORE they ended with a divorce and I honestly had given her SOME props for dealing with all this crap. I personally thought there was so many red flags and I would’ve left a long time ago. But… love is love right? This book just had me stressed and annoyed and I knew it wasn’t going to end as happy go lucky as she wanted it to be.. clearly it didn’t because they got a divorce this year.

[Rebecca]

Thanks to the publisher, via Edelweiss, for an advance e-galley for honest review.

I picked this up because I have a hard time resisting any celebrity written tome, and I find Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin's story interesting. I don't think they are reinventing the wheel here in terms of relationship advice books, but they do a nice job sharing the tools they've learned through extensive therapy and work on their relationship after infidelity. It's a very honest story with lots of admissions of their shortcomings, and I think if it being written by a celebrity couple encourages those struggling in relationships to pick it up and do some work, then it's definitely worth it.

[Charlotte Coleman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book for anyone who is in a relationship. Even better for someone who is in a relationship that is struggling.

[Dan Danis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some good insight and tools from their therapists. Honestly, these two people should not be together and definitely not writing a book on relationships.

[Rachel (storybookcorner) · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Long post**

I couldn't wait for this book to be released. I have loved Jana since her OTH days, love her music, movies, and listen to their podcast each week. Jana and Mike are open books, and very transparent with us. I admire the fact that this is one celebrity couple that is willing to put in every single effort to make their marriage work and not just run at the first hint of trouble.
I have always said that cheating is the one thing that I won't tolerate and that it will have me signing divorce papers faster than I can blink, however, that's not true for everyone, and some are willing to go to therapy/counseling and do all sorts of couples retreats, etc to get to the bottom of why it happened and to get help in order for it never to happen again. I also used to think that once a cheater always a cheater and in some circumstances I still do believe that, but sometimes there are underlying psychological issues that may be going on. I'm absolutely in no way using that as an excuse for such behavior, but I admire women that are willing to do everything in their power to make it last and not become another statistic. Every marriage will have problems, every single one, but are you willing to fight the good fight so that you come out on the other side?
Jana and Mike have set boundaries in their marriage and when you have had such a deep impactful season such as what they've went through, then you will have triggers, you will have moments where you question things that happen, you will have hard days out of the blue, but it's how you learn to handle those moments together that will get you through.

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, none. If you have that mentality then you might want to stay single. If you're willing to say "I Do" then in my unsolicited opinion, you should be willing to do anything to help your marriage last, even in the hardest of hard times. Marriage takes constant work on both sides in good seasons, bad seasons, and extremely hard seasons. I'm proud of Jana and Mike for showing us that marriage is hard, and that it's worth fighting for at the same time. They have a beautiful family! I'm definitely standing behind them as they continue The Good Fight!!

[Casandra]

I knew how I’d feel about this book early on. In one of the early chapters they discussed knowing how and when to apologize and Jana’s go-to was, “I’m sorry IF what I did hurt your feelings.”
It was really disheartening to see that after being in therapy for years, that is how she chose to write an example of a good apology in the book.
And that was just the first thing. I thought this would be a memoir-type book explaining their own story and how they came to their decisions but it turned into them repeating things to the readers that their therapists said to them in session. I wasn’t looking for marriage advice from this couple, especially since part of the advice is stuff I’ve read in other therapy books, and the other half was extremely specific to them and their triggers and problems.

Granted, they did share that some of this was the stuff that worked from them and was specific to them. But when your book is sharing that advice as something they recommend, it’s hard to differentiate what you’re saying is your process and what you’re saying others’ processes should be.

I can commend them for being honest and open about a marriage that most people really crap on. It was brave and they must have worked really hard on this book. However, I feel that with this book you can tell this couple is still struggling and not doing as well as they’d like to be and for that I think this book was written too soon.

Many of the sections from Mike’s perspective showed just how much work he still has to do because he was truly gaslighting some of what Jana would say regarding the same topic. It also seemed he was minimizing a lot of what she would say was important to her. There were times to, where Jana did or said things I did not agree with.

As a mental health therapist, it was hard to read this book. I finished it because it was part of a reading challenge but I don’t know that I’d recommend it. I’m choosing not to rate this book in stars.

[Anni · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jana and Mike have some excellent ideas and solutions to get through daily life and communicate properly, and avoid fighting - or to fight properly. I have been wanting to read/listen to this one for a while... Unfortunately, I didn't get to it until a month after they split and filed for divorce for good - June 2021.

The couple has had a rocky relationship, basically from the start. He cheated on her (many times) and she found out when they had a newborn. She filed for divorce the first time at that point, but they managed to get past it, discovered some great coping techniques, communication, have gone through a lot of therapy, and wrote this book. They have such a brave front that they presented on social media (I follow Jana on Instagram, I have been a fan since her One Tree Hill days, and she is definitely a favourite Hallmark/other production company film stars).

I do believe what they have presented here is a good set of ideals for couples, families and even friends to consider as methods to follow for daily life for good communication, to know exactly how to proceed and know what others need in their communication style, and not just assume that others know what you need in return - but unfortunately, knowing the couple has split, we learn that they didn't practice what they are preaching. One of the last sentences - "we are willing to show up and fight the good fight"... It's a shame it turns out that they couldn't make it!

[Michael · Rating 2 out of 5]

A celebrity couple's marriage advice book. Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin have been married for five years and in marriage counseling for four years. This book felt like they took notes from their LA therapists, Nashville therapists, and wrote a book to recoup the cost of counseling. If so, I am okay with putting a small dent in it for them. There is nothing in this book that has not been written in other marriage self-help books. They have a section on love languages that I just read a similar chapter in Sara Evans recently released book Born to Fly.

I do respect that both authors shared painful events from their relationship to help illustrate different techniques to help discuss and move on as a married couple. I am sure it was not easy to bring these up in a very public way. If a listener of the podcast or a fan of Kramer's music picks up this book and can get some help with an issue in their marriage than this book was well worth it.

[Candy Bishop · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read some really nasty reviews about this book. If you didn’t know or like what you knew you would read then why did you read it!

I loved this book. I love Jana Kramer. I believe she is strong for staying after having her heart broken. I commend Michael for being open about his sickness and taking care of it. If it weren’t for people like them openly sharing what they’ve been through others wouldn’t know what to do. I thank them for sharing their life with everyone. That is hard to just open up about all your nasty secrets to the world. My favorite part was when Jana says your marriage vows say you’ll be together in good times and bad sickness and health. Not only if we never disagree or fight. A-freaking-men!!! I’m proud of them for fighting to make what they want work. And that’s what marriage is is work. I love the way they explain how they make the marriage work. I appreciate them for sharing.

[Brittany Purtell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jana and Mike don’t owe anyone anything. They don’t owe an explanation or continuing defending their relationship. However, they have chosen to be vulnerable, open themselves up to criticism/opinions, and completely have laid their lives out in the open- and to what? They help people. They have probably helped SO many people. Reading this book shows just that and it will reach so many people. I became a fan of Jana because of her music but now I’m a fan of her as a person, and what she and Mike do for all of those that need help. They have taken sour lemons in their lives and made such great lemonade. I can’t wait to read the entire book and continue to follow along on their journey. The structure, insight, honesty and courage of this book is unbelievable. Already ready for book number two!

[CarlyB · Rating 2 out of 5]

In all fairness, I started reading this book right after Jana filed for divorce. Naturally, I had a hard time reading their story and giving credence to their marital growth while knowing they don’t actually come through it and live their “happily ever after” together. That being said, there were some great pieces of therapeutic/communication advice and I appreciated that. However, I was also wondering how they felt they could and should give advice to the masses when their relationship has been in shambles for it’s entire duration? It felt like a regurgitation of their therapy sessions and as I read all the trials they experienced, it led me to think that their beliefs that they could construct a solid future together was disillusioned. I’m not sure how any marriage could survive so much trauma, when one has the freedom to leave.

[Karley Stafford · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was so excited to read this book. Jana and Mike are great and charismatic. I find that their open-ness and raw honesty is really helpful to everyones personal growth not only relationship growth. In their book they touch base with a lot of very important issues and how to deal with them. I find that they provide excellent tools with navigating and understanding relationships.
The genre is not one I would normally read, so at time I did have trouble with the style but that doesn't take away from being able to relate to their journey and learn from it.

I would suggest anyone needing insight on making lasting relationships work read this book.

Great job guys!

[Jess Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We truly believe that no matter how shattered or broken two people might be, if they are willing to show up and do the work, there is hope for repair. It's not easy and by no means will our journey always be perfect and effortless, but we're in the ring together."

I've been in a relationship with the same guy since I was 16 and while we are currently in a really good place, we've dug through some trenches to get here. No matter where you are in your relationship, this book has something for you. By reading it, I learned a lot about myself and why I react to certain situations in the way that I do.

But I'm all in, we're fighting the good fight.

[Kelly Meier · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I love how raw and vulnerable both Mike and Jana have been through their journey. They open up about how they struggle in their own personal lives with their feelings as well as how they struggle in their relationship. So many good tips and communication tools that you can use in every day relationships. Jana and Mike made me feel less alone in my own personal struggles. Highly recommend!

[No Name · Rating 1 out of 5]

I would not read this book. The amount of time they curse is disgusting. They are constantly spitting out foul language like it’s nothing. The language definitely ruined the book for me. I am currently reading Live in Love by Lauren Akins and it is so much better!! Give that a read rather The Good Fight.

[Sarah Swaid · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unfortunately definitely one of the worst books I’ve read. Terribly written and the usage of y’all on every other page was very annoying. Knowing their journey ultimately ended is probably for the best. Still love Jana and her podcast though! Glad she’s on a new path