Being Infinite: An Entheogenic Odyssey into the Limitless Eternal: A Memoir from Ayahuasca to Zen

by Martin W. Ball

In this very revealing memoir, entheogenic researcher, Dr. Martin W. Ball, Ph.D., details his quest for self-discovery, transformation, and liberation into authentic being. His journey takes him through struggles as a graduate student in Religious Studies, an unhappy marriage, explorations of numerous spiritual traditions, and deep into the mysterious realm of entheogens. The tale told here follows Dr. Ball through his practice of Zen meditation, his initiation into Mescalero Apache medicine traditions, use of peyote in the Native American church, ayahuasca and Santo Daime, and the explosive and life-altering event of experiencing five-MeO-DMT with the temple of awakening divinity and his first encounter with the true nature of being as God and universal consciousness.

A pivotal moment comes for Dr. Ball in 2007 at Burning Man, where he finally admits to himself that he is profoundly unhappy. In order to be true to himself and his heart, he must make radical changes in his life and dive headfirst into his quest for self-discovery. What unfolds is a profound and shattering process of uncovering the infinite nature of authentic being and his struggle to accept the reality that there is only God - that all of reality is one universal being of pure energy, love, and absolute awareness.

Dr. Ball has told his story before in bits and pieces, but this is the first time it has all been articulated in one place in an intimate and comprehensive format. Provocative, challenging, and radical, Being Infinite articulates Dr. Ball’s nondual perspective that developed from his entheogenic experiences and the profound transformations they made within his sense of self and understanding of the nature of reality and being. There are many psychedelic memoirs available, but there is nothing else quite like this work that listeners are sure to find engrossing, challenging, and maybe even liberating. It is a story that is both personal and universal, and has profound implications for anyone seeking after deeper self-awareness and authentic being, and lays the inspirational groundwork for anyone who is ready to move beyond being spiritual to simply being true, right here, right now. It is a tale of truth, and a tale of freedom from all self-created limitations and the very important role that entheogens, particularly five-MeO-DMT, have in this profound process.

Anyone who is interested in cultivating self-awareness, exploring entheogens, and moving beyond superficial spirituality will surely find this to be a radical edition to their reading list, and just might open a few eyes and hearts in the process. In the end, there is only One, and the task of each person is to discover this eternal truth for him or herself. It cannot be taught. It cannot be learned. It can only be discovered in the core of each individual’s heart.

Genres: Spirituality, Nonfiction, Biography

Audible Audio

First published June 5, 2014

About the author

Martin W. Ball, Ph.D., is a writer, independent publisher, energy worker, visionary artist, and musician currently living in Ashland Oregon. In the spring of 2009 Martin underwent a profound energetic opening and transformation - the result of intensive work with entheogenic medicines and a year of profound self-exploration. The result is Martin's articulation of what he calls the "Entheological Paradigm," a Grand Unified Theory of all of reality from God to the direct experience of each human being, which he characterizes as an articulation of his view on “radical nonduality.” His approach is unique in that he sees the tension between duality and nonduality not as a spiritual or religious issue, but as an energetic issue that can best be addressed through the intentional use of powerful entheogens, such as 5-MeO-DMT. As such, his approach is thoroughly practical, straight-forward, and free of metaphysics, speculation, and attachment to spiritual or religious ideologies and mythologies. The result is a view of the nature of reality and the self that is challenging, liberating, and powerfully transformative, pointing to the true nature of being and personal responsibility as an energetic being.

Martin earned his B.A. at Occidental College in Los Angeles in 1994 where he studied Philosophy and Religious Studies. From there he went to graduate school at the University of California, Santa Barbara where he earned his M.A. and Ph.D. in Religious Studies in 2000 with an emphasis on Native American traditions, Philosophy of Science and Religion, and the Phenomenology of Mystical and Shamanic Experience, as well as the role of entheogens in religious and spiritual experience. For his Ph.D. dissertation, Martin performed fieldwork at the Mescalero Apache reservation in New Mexico where he studied with a number of medicine people and researched the Mescalero Mountain Spirit tradition.

Currently, Martin works as an adjunct professor teaching Religious Studies and Native American Studies in southern Oregon. He also provides personal healing and energy sessions for those looking to advance on their personal paths to authentic being, and enjoys servicing others as the ultimate "reality coach" for those who are truly ready to transcend their egos and embrace their true energetic natures as embodiments of the One Being. His methods are direct, immediate, and involve no ceremony, ritual, or spiritual practice, and instead rely on the direct and profound expansion into one’s fully infinite natural state of universal being.

Martin is also a prolific writer, composer, and musician. His most recent books include the psychedelic novel, Beyond Azara: A Universal Love Story, the ebook, All is One: Understanding Entheogens and Nonduality, and the fractal art book and “owner’s manual” of God’s Handbook for Operation Human Vehicles: A No Nonsense, No Strings Attached Approach to Universal Being. In addition to these works, his most influential and ground-breaking work remains his 2009 book, Being Human: An Entheological Guide to God, Evolution, and the Fractal, Energetic Nature of Reality. He is currently completing an autobiographical work, tentatively titled Being Infinite: One Man’s Journey into the Limitless Eternal.

(© http://www.martinball.net/)

Reviews

[DropOfOcean · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a book that I really expected to like. It had an interesting title and overview. Psychedelics, spiritual journey and all is One - things that I am familiar with. First half of the book was actually pretty decent with only some occasional rants that suggested that the author was far from being enlightened, free from ego.

But then it started to become painful to read. Really cringeworthy. One of the most obvious ways you can see the development of character is to look people around the person. What would Phoebe say about Martin who really put plenty of dirt on her in this book. What would his son Ethan say about father that basically abandoned him. What would Devon say as he never got positive description in the book even though being Martin’s best friend for a long time. What will his wife say after she finally has enough of him. I don’t remember reading anywhere in the book where Martin would criticize himself instead of others. It was always ”their ego” which was the root cause. Never his.

Martin didn’t like religions or spirituality so he invented new term ”energetic”. Term which you will encounter far too many times in this book (ego is another). Basically what he does is invent a new belief and claims to know how things are, what is true and what is not. This is always a sign that person actually has no clue whatsoever. His belief system is like black and white sketch with very few lines about a tremendous scenery with countless of layers, with infinite amount of colours, details, tastes, smells, sounds and stories.

It may be that he sincerely believes that he has dissolved ego but in that case it’s just disguising as his ego is shining very strongly here. I am not going to quote numerous examples here - instead I will quote a line from this book which perfectly describes his own book: ”reading something that the author thought was true, but was really ego-generated illusion.”

I suggest you go and read Rumi instead.

[Zac · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the book and relate to many of the author's experiences and conclusions. It's nice to have others affirming what I felt was true. There are some parts especially rare to hear talked about, like moving the body in harmonious rhythms. That was the reason I bought the book and it was worthwhile!

At the same time I found the conclusion to be a bit odd. He says he has no ego, but he basically detests religions. In my understanding, the ego is the cause of likes and dislikes, so it sounds like an ego game here.

Maybe I'm getting hung up on minor details, but another example is how he dislikes the idea of an ego-generated mass awakening, but he wants everyone to (en)lighten up and just have fun... Well, it seems to me that's how we get things done! The transcendental consciousness decides to do something and then does it. How could you chill and let go of religion before you've actually achieved some degree of enlightenment?

I think religion is a very helpful stepping stone. I'm all for mass awakening using religion, ritual, whatever works. It's like, how do you get to the top of a mountain? Ladders, climbing gear, helicopter? There are pros and cons to each, but what matters is just to get there, and to do that, once you get to the top, you have to leave the method behind.

[Andrew Marshall · Rating 3 out of 5]

There is a philosophical idea that we are not lots of separate people but one. Even more extraordinary, this one being is God. Martin W Bell makes the claim that not only he is God but I am and you are too. Being Infinite is about his journey to accepting this 'truth' and I hoped to gain some insight into what every life might be like with this mind set.

Although Bell has done a fair amount of studying - at university and reading - about philosophy, comparative religions (with an emphasis on Zen Buddhism), his main path to enlightenment is through 'medicine'. By this he means Ayahuasca, mushrooms, and in particular 5-Me0-DMT (which occurs naturally in the body but can be harvested from toads).

What is interesting, I suppose, is that Bell is very much a regular guy - with no great delusions of grandeur (which normally comes with claiming to be God). He admits that he is not particularly successful - which we sort of expect if someone is doing God's work. (But as Ball explains God does need us to be successful just to be ourselves).

The downside is this book is rather ordinary - despite the extraordinary claims. The author explains how he can step into the Ball character - when he needs to be because it makes life easier for everybody else - but he lives without 'ego'. As somebody who is trying to head in that direction, I would have liked more about his everyday life but I couldn't really get a picture.

As someone who is trying to live the questions rather than find definitive answers, the book felt like a dead end rather than deepening the mystery of existence. But I expect Ball would say 'get over it'. You are God and so is he and so is everybody else. And my complaints are just my ego getting worked up and he might well be right.

[Sarah-louise Raillard · Rating 1 out of 5]

what a sorry excuse for a book and a man

It’s baffling that this guy can get so close to the truth and still remain an absolute egomaniacal narcissist asshole.
He spends like 80 percent of the book presenting himself as a golden god (everyone wants to be him, everyone wants to be with him, he’s the smartest, he is the most experienced, he picks up skills faster than anyone else, he’s so good at sex his partner passes out, he can do a yoga pose never done by any one ever before or since, and he’s the most enlightened anyone could ever be in all time). And yet, he manages at the same time to play the victim, and blame everyone else for the difficulties in his life. He’s a misogynist who paints his wife as a frigid nag, fantasies about her being killed, cheats on her at burning man and abandons his children. He claims that his Native female dissertation advisor is a toxic bitch who cock blocked him from entering the field and gives a whole “woe-is-me” speech about being a white man in the woke workplace. He ultimately describes raping his sleeping girlfriend but it’s ok because “she was into it once she woke up”.
It’s truly astounding to me that he can have had these amazing and enlightening 5-Meo-DMT experiences showing him the true unity of the world (and these scant passages are the ONLY value of the book) and still be such a bad person, and reach the conclusions that he reaches about how to behave in the world. I sad I wasted some hours of my life reading this book.

[#DÏ4B7Ø Chinnamasta-Bhairav]

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[Joseph Knecht · Rating 4 out of 5]

Martin describes his personal journey from the finite to the infinite. The text is very biographical. He places a lot of attention on events that changed his life, starting from the Mysterious X Ph.D. Advisor to his continuous failures in romantic relationships.

In essence, Martin describes his spiritual journey starting with the early days of doing mushrooms, going to burning man, financial troubles, and the like. At some point, he gets so fascinated with Maya, but eventually, he has to let go of Maya.

If you want to read a raw spiritual journey with some insights on what the spirit needs, this might be a good book for you.

[Mickey Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw and inspiring.

The author is willing to open his life to all who care to walk his path. Whether you accept his journey of finding truth as valid is of no concern, take it or leave it. He has accepted his path as only God could take him and offers to be a guide for those who have the courage.

[Max · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is not just another book about enlightenment, but it is an interesting adventure through the life of M.Ball. I enjoyed it knowing that all the (necessary) struggles will eventually be resolved through the use of 5-meo-dmt.

[Ødegård Solveig · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a pretty interesting book and an incredible journey written by Martin Ball. I thoroughly enjoyed partaking in his story. Recommend this to anyone interested in personal growth through entheogenics. Be prepared to have your sense of reality challenged whether you believe this guy or not.

[Dan Doll · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super interesting book, it really tells where he's coming from, if you care where Martin ball is coming from.