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Between the Head and the Hands: A Novel
The candid story of a young man abandoned by his family and religion and left searching for identity in an unfamiliar world
When Michael Dawouk is disowned by his Muslim family for being gay, he turns his back on the religion and culture he grew up with. He is forced out onto the street, only to be taken in by a former high school teacher who offers him room and board in exchange for sex.
Michael is soon left with nothing to believe in, until he meets Wyatt, a successful Texan businessman who takes him under his wing. But what Michael can’t see is that his mentor is just as lost as he is. Searching for the connection and belonging he lost when he left home, Michael immerses himself in temporary pleasures—nights of danger, intrigue, and meaningless sex—until he begins to crave a kinder form of love.
When Michael Dawouk is disowned by his Muslim family for being gay, he turns his back on the religion and culture he grew up with. He is forced out onto the street, only to be taken in by a former high school teacher who offers him room and board in exchange for sex.
Michael is soon left with nothing to believe in, until he meets Wyatt, a successful Texan businessman who takes him under his wing. But what Michael can’t see is that his mentor is just as lost as he is. Searching for the connection and belonging he lost when he left home, Michael immerses himself in temporary pleasures—nights of danger, intrigue, and meaningless sex—until he begins to crave a kinder form of love.
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First published January 1, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
May 17, 2023
ARC Review
Between the head and the hands is a brilliant coming of age story. Heartbreaking and engaging.
The prose is similar to the likes of Sally Rooney, with the dialogue flat, passive and muted, focusing on the imperfections of the day to day.
Using this passive narration I felt really connected to Michael and rooted for him. The character development was progressive and natural.
This book tackled a lot of heavier topics such as sexuality and religious baggage in a easily digestible and sensitive way.
Between the head and the hands is a brilliant coming of age story. Heartbreaking and engaging.
The prose is similar to the likes of Sally Rooney, with the dialogue flat, passive and muted, focusing on the imperfections of the day to day.
Using this passive narration I felt really connected to Michael and rooted for him. The character development was progressive and natural.
This book tackled a lot of heavier topics such as sexuality and religious baggage in a easily digestible and sensitive way.
May 13, 2023
3.5
This is a review for an ARC sent to me by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Netgalley!
So to start off, I really liked this book and I think that it's very good for a debut novel, and I'd definitely be interested in reading more from this author.
I personally found the writing style to be very enjoyable, because it's simplistic and easy to read, but also able to create atmosphere. One thing though, is that I wished that the writing wasn't so detached from the main character. We know what he's feeling but not how he's feeling which makes it a little hard to connect with him since he is the kind of person to go with the flow of things just to see where they take him.
Second, the characters and interactions felt believable and so I was always interested in seeing how their personalities and relationships with our main character would develop, but again it kinda irked me how detached we are from the main character because at around the 60% mark his life makes a turn and, again, he's kinda just going with the flow of it but we don't really get to see what's going on in his mind. Snippets here and there, but most everything is just "in the moment".
I was thoroughly enjoying this book up til the 50% mark, and that's when it began to drag a bit even though this kind of marked the turning point in Michael's life which caused him to seek out something different, and I started enjoying it again at around the 70% mark, and liked the ending although I wish there was a tad bit more development there, but I definitely felt the chemistry.
Now, this book definitely needs a proofreader to go over it before it's published, because there were quite a few typos. Words missing in sentences, the occasional "wouldn't" where it should say "would" and things along that line, "he was balling" instead of "he was bawling", "He shrugging" instead of "He shrugged", one time I even spotted a random question mark in the middle of a sentence where it definitely wasn't supposed to be. Hopefully the book is reviewed and fixed from these mistakes before its official publication, but I feel like it most likely will be seeing as the publication date is still a ways away, so maybe I'm just being nitpicky, but you never know.
The whole time I was reading I was imagining this book as a Gregg Araki movie, because that's the kinda vibes it gave off, but the actual writing style reminded me of Mysterious Skin (the book, not the movie.)
This book is rough around the edges but I definitely see a lot of potential for this author if he works on developing his characters more. Like I said, I would definitely be interested in reading more from him in the future so I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for any future works.
This is a review for an ARC sent to me by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you Netgalley!
So to start off, I really liked this book and I think that it's very good for a debut novel, and I'd definitely be interested in reading more from this author.
I personally found the writing style to be very enjoyable, because it's simplistic and easy to read, but also able to create atmosphere. One thing though, is that I wished that the writing wasn't so detached from the main character. We know what he's feeling but not how he's feeling which makes it a little hard to connect with him since he is the kind of person to go with the flow of things just to see where they take him.
Second, the characters and interactions felt believable and so I was always interested in seeing how their personalities and relationships with our main character would develop, but again it kinda irked me how detached we are from the main character because at around the 60% mark his life makes a turn and, again, he's kinda just going with the flow of it but we don't really get to see what's going on in his mind. Snippets here and there, but most everything is just "in the moment".
I was thoroughly enjoying this book up til the 50% mark, and that's when it began to drag a bit even though this kind of marked the turning point in Michael's life which caused him to seek out something different, and I started enjoying it again at around the 70% mark, and liked the ending although I wish there was a tad bit more development there, but I definitely felt the chemistry.
Now, this book definitely needs a proofreader to go over it before it's published, because there were quite a few typos. Words missing in sentences, the occasional "wouldn't" where it should say "would" and things along that line, "he was balling" instead of "he was bawling", "He shrugging" instead of "He shrugged", one time I even spotted a random question mark in the middle of a sentence where it definitely wasn't supposed to be. Hopefully the book is reviewed and fixed from these mistakes before its official publication, but I feel like it most likely will be seeing as the publication date is still a ways away, so maybe I'm just being nitpicky, but you never know.
The whole time I was reading I was imagining this book as a Gregg Araki movie, because that's the kinda vibes it gave off, but the actual writing style reminded me of Mysterious Skin (the book, not the movie.)
This book is rough around the edges but I definitely see a lot of potential for this author if he works on developing his characters more. Like I said, I would definitely be interested in reading more from him in the future so I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for any future works.
June 29, 2023
[arc review! thank you to netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review]
between the head and the hands is a complex and fascinating debut novel about a young man named mike and his journey after being kicked out of his religious home after coming out. michael is such an interesting character, and i really was rooting for him the entire time despite his passivity as a character. this narrative dealt with many difficult topics such as sexuality, religion, relationships, etc. but i feel as though it was all juggled very well—i might have liked to see a bit more of michael’s family life prior to his coming out and after their reunion, but it was still ample the way it was. i saw a lot of similarities between this novel and “paul takes the form of a mortal girl” by andrea lawlor. the overall raunchiness and sexual escapades of both the main characters were very similar, as well as the flowing prose. while heart-wrenching and tough to stomach at times, it felt very realistic—every character felt like they could be an actual person, and none of the situations michael found himself in felt far fetched.
i agree with the comparisons to sally rooney i have seen in a handful of reviews. it can be very straightforward and blunt at times, but i love that. i know some people find the style of writing boring or simplistic, but i found that the prose propelled me forward in my reading. there was also an addictive quality to the writing as well as the story itself. whenever i put it down, i was still thinking about it and i wanted to dive right back in as soon as i could. it was hypotonic in a sense. i finished it within a couple of days.
do beware of content warnings relating to unsafe bdsm/violent, explicit, and/or unsettling sexual encounters because sometimes it could be difficult to read, and these instances were even more glaring due to michael’s passiveness as a character.
i did notice a few instances where an editor would be needed such as missing words in sentences, some typos, changes in tense (-ing where it should have been -ed, or -es where it should have been -ed), etc.—but as for the actual content, i was engaged the entire time and enjoyed the story!
4/5 stars!
between the head and the hands is a complex and fascinating debut novel about a young man named mike and his journey after being kicked out of his religious home after coming out. michael is such an interesting character, and i really was rooting for him the entire time despite his passivity as a character. this narrative dealt with many difficult topics such as sexuality, religion, relationships, etc. but i feel as though it was all juggled very well—i might have liked to see a bit more of michael’s family life prior to his coming out and after their reunion, but it was still ample the way it was. i saw a lot of similarities between this novel and “paul takes the form of a mortal girl” by andrea lawlor. the overall raunchiness and sexual escapades of both the main characters were very similar, as well as the flowing prose. while heart-wrenching and tough to stomach at times, it felt very realistic—every character felt like they could be an actual person, and none of the situations michael found himself in felt far fetched.
i agree with the comparisons to sally rooney i have seen in a handful of reviews. it can be very straightforward and blunt at times, but i love that. i know some people find the style of writing boring or simplistic, but i found that the prose propelled me forward in my reading. there was also an addictive quality to the writing as well as the story itself. whenever i put it down, i was still thinking about it and i wanted to dive right back in as soon as i could. it was hypotonic in a sense. i finished it within a couple of days.
do beware of content warnings relating to unsafe bdsm/violent, explicit, and/or unsettling sexual encounters because sometimes it could be difficult to read, and these instances were even more glaring due to michael’s passiveness as a character.
i did notice a few instances where an editor would be needed such as missing words in sentences, some typos, changes in tense (-ing where it should have been -ed, or -es where it should have been -ed), etc.—but as for the actual content, i was engaged the entire time and enjoyed the story!
4/5 stars!
October 29, 2023
3.5 star rating💫
June 1, 2023
rated: 3 stars
cw: abuse, bad/unsafe bdsm etiquette
this was an interesting novel, and not at all what i expected from the blurb or from other reviews.
michael as our narrator was so passive. there was a stark reduction in dialogue in the writing, with a lot of scenes being carried out as him describing what was happening around him, rather than connecting with his own emotions about what he felt. that was especially evident with wyatt and the other bdsm relationships he finds himself engaging in - everything about these interactions was him desperate to please and to be viewed as irreplaceable. while that felt very human and realistic, i would have liked to see more explanation of him unpacking that and his own desires to understand truly what he wanted from these situations and to show growth at the end of the novel.
the passivity was definitely a strength though in highlighting the abuse that he was putting himself through and seeking out. the way in which he engaged with wyatt especially showed his inexperience, and wyatt took full advantage of that by not engaging in two sided dialogue about what michael was getting out of it. the one-night stand relationships were just a continuation of the way that michael understood what he thought sex was supposed to look like.
i thought that the side characters though were very well done, and michael's narration meant that we only ever saw them through his eyes, which made the story stronger. the way that characters dropped off though with no resolution, like nathan who didn't make an appearance at all in the last third of this book, was just a strange choice to me.
calum at the end also felt a little shoved in to demonstrate that michael was deciding to choose something different romantically, but that choice was also made for him by calum's immediate pushiness the moment they met. i would have liked to see that connection develop a little slower and give michael a little bit more agency there, to contrast the way his desire to be needed made him immediately willing to sacrifice it.
this didn't really feel so much like a coming-of-age story as it was a twisted search for connection, warped already to begin with the moment he left his parents home and went off into the world alone. it was a good book though, and really showcased the danger that being alone can bring when navigating unfamiliar spaces.
cw: abuse, bad/unsafe bdsm etiquette
this was an interesting novel, and not at all what i expected from the blurb or from other reviews.
michael as our narrator was so passive. there was a stark reduction in dialogue in the writing, with a lot of scenes being carried out as him describing what was happening around him, rather than connecting with his own emotions about what he felt. that was especially evident with wyatt and the other bdsm relationships he finds himself engaging in - everything about these interactions was him desperate to please and to be viewed as irreplaceable. while that felt very human and realistic, i would have liked to see more explanation of him unpacking that and his own desires to understand truly what he wanted from these situations and to show growth at the end of the novel.
the passivity was definitely a strength though in highlighting the abuse that he was putting himself through and seeking out. the way in which he engaged with wyatt especially showed his inexperience, and wyatt took full advantage of that by not engaging in two sided dialogue about what michael was getting out of it. the one-night stand relationships were just a continuation of the way that michael understood what he thought sex was supposed to look like.
i thought that the side characters though were very well done, and michael's narration meant that we only ever saw them through his eyes, which made the story stronger. the way that characters dropped off though with no resolution, like nathan who didn't make an appearance at all in the last third of this book, was just a strange choice to me.
calum at the end also felt a little shoved in to demonstrate that michael was deciding to choose something different romantically, but that choice was also made for him by calum's immediate pushiness the moment they met. i would have liked to see that connection develop a little slower and give michael a little bit more agency there, to contrast the way his desire to be needed made him immediately willing to sacrifice it.
this didn't really feel so much like a coming-of-age story as it was a twisted search for connection, warped already to begin with the moment he left his parents home and went off into the world alone. it was a good book though, and really showcased the danger that being alone can bring when navigating unfamiliar spaces.
July 12, 2023
Between the Head and Hands was a wonderful read. It only took me two days to read it which is unusually fast for me but I was so curious to know how things would turn out for the main character Michael. The excitement started right from the beginning when within the first few pages we see how Michael’s immigrant, Muslim family wants to have nothing to do with him because of what they think are his life-style choices. Most of the novel read like the journey of a young man from innocence to great self-awareness,it is a gay Bildungsroman. And what makes the journey so fascinating for almost the entirety of the book is that there is something slightly hidden and unknown-to the reader about each of the men he meets. They all come across as not being all there or totally forthright with their intentions. It isn’t until Michael meets his best match by the end of the book, I thought Wyatt is the character most complex,and the long section that covers Michael’s relationship is the most harrowing and painful part of the book. Even Michael’s final meeting with Wyatt reveals a part of his character which totally surprises us. But Spense is also a very odd,mysterious character throughout. It’s as if Michael has to pass through all of these stages of the disturbing kingdom before he can find peace for himself.
A big part of the book which really puzzled me was Michael’s incessant drinking. I have never met a character on the page who drinks as much as Michael does. It’s not odd because we expect moderation from a Muslim, but his drinking is endless. Certainly he is drinking so much because he is unhappy,but doesn’t it get to the point when it starts to affect his health? Perhaps in the sequel Michael will deal with his alcoholism and go into rehab.
I had never heard of this author before reading this book and I requested it because I thought it would be about the torment of a young Muslim fellow trying to reconcile with his religion. But the only struggle Michael has with that is his disconnection to his parents.
It was a very entertaining read and the plot kept me wondering what is really behind all of these very strange men. I’m happy I read it,the past two days with my nose only stuck in this book was a great experience. It’s a wonderful book about finding your feet as an urban gay man,and Michael has a lot of great self-awareness and charm. He was a very interesting hero of his own life story.
A big part of the book which really puzzled me was Michael’s incessant drinking. I have never met a character on the page who drinks as much as Michael does. It’s not odd because we expect moderation from a Muslim, but his drinking is endless. Certainly he is drinking so much because he is unhappy,but doesn’t it get to the point when it starts to affect his health? Perhaps in the sequel Michael will deal with his alcoholism and go into rehab.
I had never heard of this author before reading this book and I requested it because I thought it would be about the torment of a young Muslim fellow trying to reconcile with his religion. But the only struggle Michael has with that is his disconnection to his parents.
It was a very entertaining read and the plot kept me wondering what is really behind all of these very strange men. I’m happy I read it,the past two days with my nose only stuck in this book was a great experience. It’s a wonderful book about finding your feet as an urban gay man,and Michael has a lot of great self-awareness and charm. He was a very interesting hero of his own life story.
July 11, 2024
4.25
Niesamowicie wciągająca, ale trudna historia coming of age wydziedziczonego za bycie gejem chłopaka. Obserwowanie jego zmagań ze światem przywodziło mi na myśl życiorys Edouarda Louisa. Poszukiwania tożsamości seksualnej przeplatają się z religią i pragnieniem miłości, wpadaniem w niebezpieczną spiralę ryzykownych zachowań i zgubnych znajomości byle tylko coś poczuć. Książka jest bardzo opisowa, momentami brutalna, ale przede wszystkim smutna
Niesamowicie wciągająca, ale trudna historia coming of age wydziedziczonego za bycie gejem chłopaka. Obserwowanie jego zmagań ze światem przywodziło mi na myśl życiorys Edouarda Louisa. Poszukiwania tożsamości seksualnej przeplatają się z religią i pragnieniem miłości, wpadaniem w niebezpieczną spiralę ryzykownych zachowań i zgubnych znajomości byle tylko coś poczuć. Książka jest bardzo opisowa, momentami brutalna, ale przede wszystkim smutna
February 21, 2024
2.5 stars
The ending left off at a point that seemed like it was in the middle of a chapter, and made me feel like the book was published incomplete
The ending left off at a point that seemed like it was in the middle of a chapter, and made me feel like the book was published incomplete
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September 24, 2023Thank you to NetGalley for the e-ARC
This was far more intense than the description gave away. The only other book I can think of that covered unhealthy and unsafe relationships this graphically is A Little Life so you have been warned.
Based on style alone, I was very impressed with this book. The writing is smooth and lyrical with some of that removed-ness from our protagonist in a Sally Rooney-esque way. I didn't realise how close the writing had drawn me in until the very end when my time spent with Michael came to an end and I realised I was really rooting for him.
Content-wise, this was probably too much for me. Chaarani did not shy away from being very open about Michael's concerning relationships, and while that provided a stark look into aspects of Canada's queer scene, I would've appreciated some warning before hand, particularly as this was an audio-ARC.
All in all, I do believe that this will find its audience in the book-community, but perhaps just not with me!
This was far more intense than the description gave away. The only other book I can think of that covered unhealthy and unsafe relationships this graphically is A Little Life so you have been warned.
Based on style alone, I was very impressed with this book. The writing is smooth and lyrical with some of that removed-ness from our protagonist in a Sally Rooney-esque way. I didn't realise how close the writing had drawn me in until the very end when my time spent with Michael came to an end and I realised I was really rooting for him.
Content-wise, this was probably too much for me. Chaarani did not shy away from being very open about Michael's concerning relationships, and while that provided a stark look into aspects of Canada's queer scene, I would've appreciated some warning before hand, particularly as this was an audio-ARC.
All in all, I do believe that this will find its audience in the book-community, but perhaps just not with me!
May 14, 2023
"Between the Head and the Hands" is a beautiful, heartbreaking book, written in a hypnotizing literary style. It was a difficult story to read, as the main character, Michael, is a passive narrator, having little agency in the things happening to him; he just rolls with the punches, more eager to please others rather than to figure out what he wants for himself.
But he's only 19, and this is also a coming of age story, so that's to be expected. I still felt by the end that he was still going along with whatever happened and got lucky with who he ended up with, but he was trying to figure out if he liked the person he'd become and hadn't quite found his voice yet.
The story opens with Michael, a Lebanese American whose family is deeply religious Muslims, admitting to his mother that he's gay. She reacts poorly and kicks him out of the house. He moves from one abusive living situation to another, hooking up with guys and figuring out his sexual proclivities along the way. He's not all that introspective, but mainly tries to figure out what people are thinking about him and expect from him. But again, 19, with cultural and religious emotional baggage about his identity, so I found his character development age appropriate.
Eventually he reunites with his family, who has a change of heart, but even that he is just going along with the flow, letting his father take him to mosque even though he doesn't feel comfortable going. I felt like he comes to accept himself instead of finding his voice; I wanted him to figure out how to stand up for himself more, but for most of the book he doesn't even know himself.
It lent the writing style a haunting, cerebral, almost child-like quality that allowed me to feel him losing his innocence even as he didn't even know what was happening to him.
This was a beautiful, important, personal book, and I appreciate the early look from the publisher.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
But he's only 19, and this is also a coming of age story, so that's to be expected. I still felt by the end that he was still going along with whatever happened and got lucky with who he ended up with, but he was trying to figure out if he liked the person he'd become and hadn't quite found his voice yet.
The story opens with Michael, a Lebanese American whose family is deeply religious Muslims, admitting to his mother that he's gay. She reacts poorly and kicks him out of the house. He moves from one abusive living situation to another, hooking up with guys and figuring out his sexual proclivities along the way. He's not all that introspective, but mainly tries to figure out what people are thinking about him and expect from him. But again, 19, with cultural and religious emotional baggage about his identity, so I found his character development age appropriate.
Eventually he reunites with his family, who has a change of heart, but even that he is just going along with the flow, letting his father take him to mosque even though he doesn't feel comfortable going. I felt like he comes to accept himself instead of finding his voice; I wanted him to figure out how to stand up for himself more, but for most of the book he doesn't even know himself.
It lent the writing style a haunting, cerebral, almost child-like quality that allowed me to feel him losing his innocence even as he didn't even know what was happening to him.
This was a beautiful, important, personal book, and I appreciate the early look from the publisher.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an advance review copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
September 26, 2023
a story of michael, a young gay muslim man abandoned by his family and religion left searching for his own sense of identity in toronto. michael moves from man to man, lover to lover, trying to find pieces of himself along the way. at times hard to read in its graphic depictions of not always fully consensual sex, the book ultimately painted a full picture of michael making his way in the city and finding love in the most unexpected of places.
August 16, 2023
A powerful, poetic story about losing and finding yourself — this book travels to both ends of the spectrum of belonging from bitterly desperate loneliness to comfort and contentment. Every single page was full of emotion to make something truly touching.
It delves into the painful truths about tradition, religious and generational trauma, self expression and sexuality - all these little things that come together to create our identity and it looks at each of them in a caring, warm lens that makes the reader feel seen.
Michael is a beautiful character — open, honest and vulnerable with a voice that immediately made me care for him. Someone who both knew himself but also had clue who who he was - a youthful naivety and strength in a way that was so relatable and authentic that I could find pieces of myself in the character despite our differences.
The storytelling overall was very conceptual at times- poetic and vividly descriptive. It had that thoughtful, introspective tone that good literary fiction just nails but without the overly flowery language to give a more accessible, friendly tone to the narrative. And even thought it was a little sentence-heavy and jumped between times suddenly and erratically in places it flowed in such a natural way that was subtle and showed snapshots of life in a way that was both mundane and meaningful at the same time.
A beautiful story about self discovery, and the hardship that journey can often bring.
⭐⭐⭐⭐
It delves into the painful truths about tradition, religious and generational trauma, self expression and sexuality - all these little things that come together to create our identity and it looks at each of them in a caring, warm lens that makes the reader feel seen.
Michael is a beautiful character — open, honest and vulnerable with a voice that immediately made me care for him. Someone who both knew himself but also had clue who who he was - a youthful naivety and strength in a way that was so relatable and authentic that I could find pieces of myself in the character despite our differences.
The storytelling overall was very conceptual at times- poetic and vividly descriptive. It had that thoughtful, introspective tone that good literary fiction just nails but without the overly flowery language to give a more accessible, friendly tone to the narrative. And even thought it was a little sentence-heavy and jumped between times suddenly and erratically in places it flowed in such a natural way that was subtle and showed snapshots of life in a way that was both mundane and meaningful at the same time.
A beautiful story about self discovery, and the hardship that journey can often bring.
⭐⭐⭐⭐
June 5, 2023
Between the Head and the Hands was an understated yet engaging and memorable novel focusing on Michael, a young gay man who comes out to his conservative Lebanese parents and is kicked out for it. the plot follows Michael as he struggles to find a place to live, to finish college, and to come to terms with his radically new life. I connected with Michael as a character, his aimless, headlong dive into dating and gay life mirrors the formative years of many young queer people as they’re defining themselves and just starting to grasp at their identities. Sure, he makes mistakes and sometimes behaves in an immature way, but this felt very believable given his previously sheltered background and the sudden freedom and relative isolation he experienced after leaving home. I also appreciated how true to life the story felt, there was tragedy and triumph, yes, but of the everyday variety. Michael comes out to his parents on a whim, absent any huge cinematic monologue, and he drifts through the next few years of young adulthood the way many people do, with highs and lows but without any improbable plot twists or Dickensian story arcs.
Overall, the book felt like an honest, compelling, and thoroughly modern coming of age story, I burned through it in one day.
Overall, the book felt like an honest, compelling, and thoroughly modern coming of age story, I burned through it in one day.
July 21, 2023
Thank you, Netgalley, for the review copy!
I thought this was a great debut novel and I’d be really interested to read more from this author. The style is very similar to Sally Rooney, whose writing I love. The dialogue also reminded me a little of Fleabag, as well.
It was a great story about connections and how, when someone is left on their own, they can get into harmful and toxic situations as there is no guidance on what is normal.
I think, although realistic, I wanted the MC to be a little bit less passive by the end and to make his own decisions and ultimately realise that he deserves to make his own decisions about what he wants from relationships. There was some growth but I hoped he would have truly blossomed by the end.
Like I said, though, it was a great debut and I think this author will go far!
I thought this was a great debut novel and I’d be really interested to read more from this author. The style is very similar to Sally Rooney, whose writing I love. The dialogue also reminded me a little of Fleabag, as well.
It was a great story about connections and how, when someone is left on their own, they can get into harmful and toxic situations as there is no guidance on what is normal.
I think, although realistic, I wanted the MC to be a little bit less passive by the end and to make his own decisions and ultimately realise that he deserves to make his own decisions about what he wants from relationships. There was some growth but I hoped he would have truly blossomed by the end.
Like I said, though, it was a great debut and I think this author will go far!
June 11, 2023
ARC REVIEW
DNF'd quite early on
I really struggled to get into this. The writing felt too choppy and simple and the story straight away just wasn't what I was expecting from the blurb given on Netgalley, but looking at the full blub I can see a large chunk of it was cut, and that was why the content shocked me straight away, and I couldn't continue.
Looking at other reviews I can see that it was definitely enjoyed by many, just not the book for me!
Thank you Netgalley and ECW Press for the ARC
DNF'd quite early on
I really struggled to get into this. The writing felt too choppy and simple and the story straight away just wasn't what I was expecting from the blurb given on Netgalley, but looking at the full blub I can see a large chunk of it was cut, and that was why the content shocked me straight away, and I couldn't continue.
Looking at other reviews I can see that it was definitely enjoyed by many, just not the book for me!
Thank you Netgalley and ECW Press for the ARC
June 14, 2023
It's an Okay reading for a debut novel.
I love its realistic portrayal of everyday life; the book covers heavier topics such as sexuality and religious baggage. It's a meaningful and important coming-of-age story.
However, I wouldn't say I like the writing style, and it lacks more character development.
Thanks NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book to read early in exchange for an honest review.
I love its realistic portrayal of everyday life; the book covers heavier topics such as sexuality and religious baggage. It's a meaningful and important coming-of-age story.
However, I wouldn't say I like the writing style, and it lacks more character development.
Thanks NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book to read early in exchange for an honest review.
August 4, 2023
Interesting coming of age story with plenty of bumps along the way. The protagonist is a challenging character in that he doesn't exactly know what he wants but readily accepts instinctual motivators which makes him a bit apathetic. He reminds me of the character in Camus' The Stranger. While some may find this dispassionate, lost manner off putting I found it fascinating and enjoyed the sense of discovery as Michael found his place in the world and himself.
November 29, 2024
Love the short clipped voice - the ending gagged me
October 10, 2023
Thank you to Net Galley and ECW Press Audio for an advance copy of the book.
I requested the book thinking the book will be about navigating challenges, finding your identity, and making meaningful relationships, but I really did not understand where this book was going.
Between the head and the hands is a story about Michael, a Muslim gay man, who is disowned by his family because of his sexual orientation. He is forced to be out on the street,only to be taken in by a former high school teacher who offers him room and board in exchange for sex. He then meets Wyatt, a successful businessman who takes him as a mentee. When things do not work out between them, Michael still feels lost and is in search of a stronger,meaningful connection. He immerses himself in temporary pleasures until he begins to crave a kinder form of love.
Reading this synopsis, I thought the character will be portrayed as a strong, kind man who is lost but trying his best to navigate the world. In turn, the whole book was him taking financial favors and saying "I don't know" or "What do you mean" repeatedly. It was so annoying how he had no personality of his own. It is one thing to be lost,but to say yes to anyone and everyone asking for sex,is plain stupid. This guy was sending explicit pictures to random guys he didn't even remember the names of. I was so frustrated by him.
BDSM was also explicitly described in the book, and I have no clue whether he enjoyed it or whether he did it because he wanted to please his mentor. I also did not understand what exactly the mentor was teaching.
Overall, this book was not for me at all. Maybe it would cater to someone else, someone who relates to the main character or is into exploration, but I did not enjoy it. I was about to DNF the book three times, but still finished it,in case there was a point. There really wasn't. I was surprised that the book was set in Waterloo and Toronto. I recognized these places and was so happy with that. The narration was done well.
I requested the book thinking the book will be about navigating challenges, finding your identity, and making meaningful relationships, but I really did not understand where this book was going.
Between the head and the hands is a story about Michael, a Muslim gay man, who is disowned by his family because of his sexual orientation. He is forced to be out on the street,only to be taken in by a former high school teacher who offers him room and board in exchange for sex. He then meets Wyatt, a successful businessman who takes him as a mentee. When things do not work out between them, Michael still feels lost and is in search of a stronger,meaningful connection. He immerses himself in temporary pleasures until he begins to crave a kinder form of love.
Reading this synopsis, I thought the character will be portrayed as a strong, kind man who is lost but trying his best to navigate the world. In turn, the whole book was him taking financial favors and saying "I don't know" or "What do you mean" repeatedly. It was so annoying how he had no personality of his own. It is one thing to be lost,but to say yes to anyone and everyone asking for sex,is plain stupid. This guy was sending explicit pictures to random guys he didn't even remember the names of. I was so frustrated by him.
BDSM was also explicitly described in the book, and I have no clue whether he enjoyed it or whether he did it because he wanted to please his mentor. I also did not understand what exactly the mentor was teaching.
Overall, this book was not for me at all. Maybe it would cater to someone else, someone who relates to the main character or is into exploration, but I did not enjoy it. I was about to DNF the book three times, but still finished it,in case there was a point. There really wasn't. I was surprised that the book was set in Waterloo and Toronto. I recognized these places and was so happy with that. The narration was done well.
March 27, 2024
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this eARC.
James Chaarani's novel, "Between the Head and the Hands," tells the raw and poignant story of Michael Dawouk, a young man abandoned by his Muslim family after coming out as gay. Set against the backdrop of an unfamiliar world, this candid exploration of identity, love, and loss captivates readers from the first page.
When Michael is disowned by his family, he turns his back on the religion and culture he grew up with. Homeless and desperate, he finds refuge with a former high school teacher who offers him shelter in exchange for sex. But this arrangement leaves Michael adrift, devoid of purpose or belief.
It's only when he meets Wyatt, a successful Texan businessman, that he begins to glimpse the possibility of connection and belonging.
Chaarani masterfully weaves themes of abandonment, sexuality, and cultural dissonance throughout the narrative.
Michael's struggle to reconcile his identity with societal expectations resonates deeply. As readers, we witness his desperate search for love, both fleeting and enduring, against a backdrop of danger and intrigue.
Michael is a complex protagonist, torn between his past and an uncertain future. His vulnerability and resilience make him relatable, while Wyatt's enigmatic presence adds layers of mystery to the story.
The supporting characters, including Michael's former teacher, provide glimpses into the multi-faceted human experience.
Ishan Davé's narration brings emotional depth to the story. His voice captures Michael's inner turmoil, making the audiobook an immersive experience.
Chaarani's prose is evocative, painting vivid scenes of city streets, clandestine encounters, and moments of quiet introspection. His exploration of intimacy and longing is tender and unflinching.
James Chaarani's novel, "Between the Head and the Hands," tells the raw and poignant story of Michael Dawouk, a young man abandoned by his Muslim family after coming out as gay. Set against the backdrop of an unfamiliar world, this candid exploration of identity, love, and loss captivates readers from the first page.
When Michael is disowned by his family, he turns his back on the religion and culture he grew up with. Homeless and desperate, he finds refuge with a former high school teacher who offers him shelter in exchange for sex. But this arrangement leaves Michael adrift, devoid of purpose or belief.
It's only when he meets Wyatt, a successful Texan businessman, that he begins to glimpse the possibility of connection and belonging.
Chaarani masterfully weaves themes of abandonment, sexuality, and cultural dissonance throughout the narrative.
Michael's struggle to reconcile his identity with societal expectations resonates deeply. As readers, we witness his desperate search for love, both fleeting and enduring, against a backdrop of danger and intrigue.
Michael is a complex protagonist, torn between his past and an uncertain future. His vulnerability and resilience make him relatable, while Wyatt's enigmatic presence adds layers of mystery to the story.
The supporting characters, including Michael's former teacher, provide glimpses into the multi-faceted human experience.
Ishan Davé's narration brings emotional depth to the story. His voice captures Michael's inner turmoil, making the audiobook an immersive experience.
Chaarani's prose is evocative, painting vivid scenes of city streets, clandestine encounters, and moments of quiet introspection. His exploration of intimacy and longing is tender and unflinching.
Read
January 11, 2024I really tried to finish this one… it’s a different voice and a different perspective than we usually get to read: Male, Muslim, LGBTQ+, Coming of Age.
Sadly though, I have decided to bail on listening to this at approx 40% of the way through it.
The narration is flat and has made it hard to listen to. And Michael, the protagonist, is pretty boring. But I was prepared to keep going.
Until it suddenly dawned on me what was really bothering me about this book… and I trust - hope - that I would have twigged to it sooner had I been reading a print version… that the word would have jumped out at me off of the page.
Narrated in the third person, I suddenly realised how many of the sentences started with the word ‘He.’ That is the problem in a nutshell!! I am being ‘told’ the story in the least sophisticated way possible. There is no discernible attempt by the author to switch up his sentence structure to make it more engaging, more active.
This is the kind of writing error that would be the first thing an experienced author would point out to a young talent. I know. I’ve watched seasoned authors give exactly this advice to students when I had them in to give writing workshops in my school library. Switch up your sentence structure!!!
Having said that, I will be on the lookout for what comes next from this new author. There is potential here, just not quite fully realised in this title.
DNF
Sadly though, I have decided to bail on listening to this at approx 40% of the way through it.
The narration is flat and has made it hard to listen to. And Michael, the protagonist, is pretty boring. But I was prepared to keep going.
Until it suddenly dawned on me what was really bothering me about this book… and I trust - hope - that I would have twigged to it sooner had I been reading a print version… that the word would have jumped out at me off of the page.
Narrated in the third person, I suddenly realised how many of the sentences started with the word ‘He.’ That is the problem in a nutshell!! I am being ‘told’ the story in the least sophisticated way possible. There is no discernible attempt by the author to switch up his sentence structure to make it more engaging, more active.
This is the kind of writing error that would be the first thing an experienced author would point out to a young talent. I know. I’ve watched seasoned authors give exactly this advice to students when I had them in to give writing workshops in my school library. Switch up your sentence structure!!!
Having said that, I will be on the lookout for what comes next from this new author. There is potential here, just not quite fully realised in this title.
DNF
September 26, 2023
Between the Head and the Hands is a debut novel that tackles a challenging and important theme—the journey of a young man named Michael Dawouk, who is forced to confront his identity and beliefs after being disowned by his family due to his sexual orientation.
The story begins with a gripping premise, introducing readers to Michael and his struggles as he faces rejection from his family. The first half of the book is undeniably engaging, with the author skillfully conveying the emotional turmoil and inner conflict that Michael experiences. It's easy to connect with Michael, despite his seemingly distant nature.
However, as the narrative progresses into the second half, the pacing falters, and the plot starts to lose momentum.
A notable highlight is the audiobook version of the novel, which benefits from an excellent narrator who enhances the overall reading experience. The narrator's performance adds depth and emotion to the story, making it even more engaging.
In conclusion, Between the Head and the Hands is a debut novel worth considering, especially if you're interested in stories that delve into complex themes of identity and belonging. This book marks the promising start of an author with potential for growth in future literary endeavors.
The story begins with a gripping premise, introducing readers to Michael and his struggles as he faces rejection from his family. The first half of the book is undeniably engaging, with the author skillfully conveying the emotional turmoil and inner conflict that Michael experiences. It's easy to connect with Michael, despite his seemingly distant nature.
However, as the narrative progresses into the second half, the pacing falters, and the plot starts to lose momentum.
A notable highlight is the audiobook version of the novel, which benefits from an excellent narrator who enhances the overall reading experience. The narrator's performance adds depth and emotion to the story, making it even more engaging.
In conclusion, Between the Head and the Hands is a debut novel worth considering, especially if you're interested in stories that delve into complex themes of identity and belonging. This book marks the promising start of an author with potential for growth in future literary endeavors.
September 26, 2023
The idea of this book was solid, a trauma and hard life of a boy kicked out of his house after coming out and trying to figure out how to make his way through college/life while others in better positions take advantage of him. Basically if it had stuck more to the synopsis. I was very unprepared for the turn to BDSM (which is only portrayed in a very unsafe way. (i.e no use of safe words or limits beforehand) though I can appreciate that that is a part of the people taking advantage of him, I just wish Michael also got educated on how a good and safe bdsm relationship is supposed to function at some point in the story) and Leather Daddies. Also, I got this arc as an audiobook from NetGalley and I'm not sure if something was wrong with it or if the story really ends so abruptly during taking his new boyfriend home to meet his parents as he's about to give a tour of the house, but if it is, it feels like it cuts off in the middle of the third act. This book has some charms, but I feel like they are outweighed by the surprising and unsafe representations of bdsm and the ending.
Thank you to Netgalley and ECW Press Audio for the audiobook arc in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you to Netgalley and ECW Press Audio for the audiobook arc in exchange for my honest review.
November 1, 2023
After being abandoned by his Muslim family for being gay, a young man seeks comfort through other men while struggling to find his own identity.
This was just alright for me. The premise of the book was very intriguing; however, I found the writing to be a bit too passive and flat. The main character feels very detached, almost like a bystander to what is going on. This may be intentional given their mental state and what they’re going through, but it wasn’t flowing naturally to me. There was also a lot of very straight-forward explanations as well as repetitive phrases.
I felt really pulled in at the beginning, but it kind of lost its momentum towards the middle. And I was really unhappy with the ending. It felt like it ended before it was supposed to. I was interested enough to finish the book and found it just okay overall. The shining star in this book was the narration, which really elevated the emotions and characters. If I had read this physically, I’m not sure I would have been able to finish it.
Thank you to libro.fm and ECW press for the ALC. All opinions are my own and freely given.
This was just alright for me. The premise of the book was very intriguing; however, I found the writing to be a bit too passive and flat. The main character feels very detached, almost like a bystander to what is going on. This may be intentional given their mental state and what they’re going through, but it wasn’t flowing naturally to me. There was also a lot of very straight-forward explanations as well as repetitive phrases.
I felt really pulled in at the beginning, but it kind of lost its momentum towards the middle. And I was really unhappy with the ending. It felt like it ended before it was supposed to. I was interested enough to finish the book and found it just okay overall. The shining star in this book was the narration, which really elevated the emotions and characters. If I had read this physically, I’m not sure I would have been able to finish it.
Thank you to libro.fm and ECW press for the ALC. All opinions are my own and freely given.
June 26, 2023
I might have given this novel three stars, but it contained too much graphic sex (for me) .
The introspection of the main character was nicely conveyed ... eloquently capturing his anger over having been kicked out of the house after admitting to his parents that he was gay, as well as his confusion over having to deal with having Come Out.
The story moved fairly well, but there were occasions when the passage of time stymied me. For example, at one point, there is a five year jump which seemed to come out of nowhere. It was unexpected and jarring; and I had to flip back and forth between the current and previous chapter to figure it out, which I did, but still.
In summary, this turned out to be not my kind of book. Too sexually explicit. To be fair, I suppose my interpretation of 'sexually explicit' may not jibe with that of other readers.
This is my honest and unbiased review of “Between the Head and the Hands” by James Chaarani in exchange for an uncorrected Advanced Reading Copy of this book provided by ECW Press.
The introspection of the main character was nicely conveyed ... eloquently capturing his anger over having been kicked out of the house after admitting to his parents that he was gay, as well as his confusion over having to deal with having Come Out.
The story moved fairly well, but there were occasions when the passage of time stymied me. For example, at one point, there is a five year jump which seemed to come out of nowhere. It was unexpected and jarring; and I had to flip back and forth between the current and previous chapter to figure it out, which I did, but still.
In summary, this turned out to be not my kind of book. Too sexually explicit. To be fair, I suppose my interpretation of 'sexually explicit' may not jibe with that of other readers.
This is my honest and unbiased review of “Between the Head and the Hands” by James Chaarani in exchange for an uncorrected Advanced Reading Copy of this book provided by ECW Press.
June 13, 2024
A cautionary, coming-of-age tale about a Muslim teenager thrown out of home for being gay. What follows is a series of misadventures and missed opportunities. Things could be worse but not much.
Aspects of the novel don't quite add up. The young man manages to complete his expensive university degree without any visible means of support which leads the reader to believe he must be very clever, but at every turn his memory, judgement or common sense fail him.
Nevertheless the overall effect is quite good, despite a lengthy section involving a tedious role-playing S/M relationship, the rest is by times nuanced, humourous and illuminating. The main character Michael reminded me of The Fool from the Tarot deck. He seems to be lost, lacking any philosophy and always about to walk off a cliff. Others have found the character vacant, one-note, almost mindless. Doesn't that just describe a lot of teenage boys?
Some reviewers have also criticized the 'abrupt' ending. I loved it. Go back and read the very first sentence. The whole thing comes full circle. Or does it?
Aspects of the novel don't quite add up. The young man manages to complete his expensive university degree without any visible means of support which leads the reader to believe he must be very clever, but at every turn his memory, judgement or common sense fail him.
Nevertheless the overall effect is quite good, despite a lengthy section involving a tedious role-playing S/M relationship, the rest is by times nuanced, humourous and illuminating. The main character Michael reminded me of The Fool from the Tarot deck. He seems to be lost, lacking any philosophy and always about to walk off a cliff. Others have found the character vacant, one-note, almost mindless. Doesn't that just describe a lot of teenage boys?
Some reviewers have also criticized the 'abrupt' ending. I loved it. Go back and read the very first sentence. The whole thing comes full circle. Or does it?
July 18, 2023
I was disappointed in James Chaarani novel Between the Head and the Hands. The book had so much potential, and he had so much opportunity to say and do more for the LGBT community I feel that he missed his mark. The story line lacked emotion; you never really knew what the main character was feeling Chaarani should have explored that more instead of glossing over it. I feel this was a coming-of-age story that many readers could learn from, there are so many lessons here.
I didn’t mind that the writing style was simplistic and that the dialogue flat and passive, it was the detachment form the character that bothered me. I see potential in Chaarani if he works on developing his characters more and look forward to reading his future novels.
Thank you #netgalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I didn’t mind that the writing style was simplistic and that the dialogue flat and passive, it was the detachment form the character that bothered me. I see potential in Chaarani if he works on developing his characters more and look forward to reading his future novels.
Thank you #netgalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
November 19, 2023
3.5 stars. I mostly enjoyed this coming of age of a gay young man who is kicked out of his Lebanese parents’ home in the Toronto suburbs when they discover his identity. There was a lot more sex and BDSM than I expected, but it felt important to his growth as a man. There were two things I did struggle with: one, the writing was very simplistic and while that made it an easy read, I sometimes became aware that I wasn’t really blown away as I was reading. Two, the final relationship could’ve been built up a bit more- I assume we are supposed to believe they will be together for a long time, but it felt very rushed, I don’t know much about Calum, and running into Wyatt felt more like a reconciliation than the author maybe meant. Overall, this is probably a great book for queer children of immigrants, and I am open to reading whatever the author does next.
Read
June 22, 2024To be honest, I didn't enjoy this. I kept waiting for something more to happen but it never did. What should've been a compelling, poignant, emotional coming of age + sexual awakening type story sadly left me a little bored when it seemed like the book was going to be a laundry list of Michael's sexcapades, complete with a foray into some pretty awful BDSM that seemed more like assault.
I honestly wish this book had started at the end and focused on Michael building a healthy relationship with flashbacks to the Wyatts, Marshalls et al. and his coming out story while repairing things with his new boyfriend and his family.
I honestly wish this book had started at the end and focused on Michael building a healthy relationship with flashbacks to the Wyatts, Marshalls et al. and his coming out story while repairing things with his new boyfriend and his family.
December 27, 2023
I couldn’t put this down. I just stayed up til 4am reading it. I found this extremely relatable in many ways and I know others who would find themselves in this story too.
I also went to university in Waterloo and frequently visited the Village in Toronto. I had some very similar experiences in the first few years after I came out. I would recommend this to other gay men — especially those from southern Ontario.
I also went to university in Waterloo and frequently visited the Village in Toronto. I had some very similar experiences in the first few years after I came out. I would recommend this to other gay men — especially those from southern Ontario.
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