You’re Not Broken: Break free from trauma and reclaim your life

by Sarah Woodhouse

In one way or another, we all carry trauma. It can manifest as anxiety, shame, low self-esteem, over-eating, under-eating, addiction, depression, confusion, people-pleasing, under-earning, low mood, negative thinking, social anxiety, anger, brain fog and more.

Traumas, big or 'little', leave us trapped in cycles of dysfunctional behaviours, negative thoughts and difficult feelings. Yet many people are unaware they're stuck in old reactions and patterns that stem from their past traumas. Many of us are wary of the word and push it away instead of moving towards it and learning how to break free.

Dr Sarah Woodhouse is a Research Psychologist who specialises in trauma and is passionate about helping people face this word and their past. In You're Not Broken she teaches you what a trauma is (it's probably not what you think), and how to recognise when, why and how your past is holding you back. She gently explains the pitfalls of ignoring awkward, upsetting episodes and how true freedom comes from looking back at your past with honesty. Then, sharing the latest research-based techniques and her own personal experience, she guides you towards breaking the trauma loop, reawakening your true self and reclaiming your future.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Mental Health, Personal Development, Psychology

Audible Audio

Published March 30, 2021

About the author

Sarah Woodhouse was born on 1950 in Birmingham, England, UK. She grew up in Cambridgeshire and attended St Mary's convent school before studying for a Bachelor of Arts in Medieval English at Reading University.

Sarah is the author of numerous short stories, many of which were published in 19 magazine in the 1970s, and 9 romance novels from 1984 to 2000. In 1989, her novel The Peacock's Feather won the Romantic Novel of the Year Award by the Romantic Novelists' Association.

Reviews

[Benjamin Stahl · Rating 2 out of 5]

I generally do not like self-help books. There's just something about them that tends to annoy me, and this was no exception. If it helps people struggling with trauma, then that's totally a wonderful thing and my dislike for it has nothing to do with that. I just found Sarah Woodhouse and her banal guide to emotional healing too "safe spacey" (the word "triggered" is, like, 20% of this book), too humanistically self-glorifying, and too spiritually vapid.

[Sinead Corcoran · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read some really good self-help books and this book is up there on the list of one of the best. It is written with such clever wit and humour which makes it an enjoyable read. It is also incredibly insightful and gives so much hope that we can all heal from trauma! This book really resonated with me and has opened my eyes up to the endless possibilities and potential that we all have. The 7 tools are great. You can pick and choose what works best for the reader and use as many or little as you like. Afterall, what works for one person may not work for the next. Thank you Sarah Woodhouse for sharing your extraordinary knowledge and wisdom, as well as simplifying things that sometimes seem so complex. I think everyone would benefit from reading this book!

[Chey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't believe I've read enough books on trauma now to say this, but this book didn't add much to the trauma self-help discourse. It was easy to follow, had some very digestible "tools" for recovery, and even a little Australian wit sprinkled in ("you may need a break, go heat the kettle" or something like that lol).

That said, I would probably direct people to The Body Keeps the Score or What Happened to You before I'd ever get to this one.

[Hew Parham · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really terrific eloquent book centreing on trauma. Very honest, heartfelt and clear. In some ways its greatest asset is also its weakness (perhaps). I actually loved that it didn't give an overt amount of tools, techniques and to do's, rather it gave you the information and expressly told you I'm not going to overwhelm you with tasks. Not sure how many other people would agree but I rarely do those exercises, but I really gained insight from her perspective. I think these kinds of exercises are best done with a licensed therapist anyway and Sarah gives gentle and clear encouragement around that. Towards the end I perhaps would've liked a few more examples and how people had employed techniques and stepped through that process a bit. Perhaps because I was listening on audiobook it was hard to go back to early chapters to remember those techniques. But overall I found the book compassionate, clear and useful.

[WhimsyWiccan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was given this book as gift for my birthday (9th of December) from my old foster carer as a child. Shes such a light in my life and this book was incredibly insightful.

[kelly neto · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favourite self-help book, but one that I probably won’t pick up for a while, as it is quite emotionally heavy.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I understand this book won’t be for everyone, and that’s fine. And the book isn’t really what I’d normally rate a book 5 stars.

Anyway, as the title suggests, the book is about breaking free from trauma and I believe that it isn’t done in a confrontational way.

Probably the biggest takeaway from the book came from the 10 Tools Sarah gives us readers to help break from from the trauma at the end of the book. The tenth tool was to see a trauma specific psychologist.

Exactly one week ago to the day, I was sitting in my psychiatrist’s office and we spoke about my psychological team- my pain psych (I have chronic pain) and the rest of my team. And he said, as simply as Sarah put it in her book today, Lauren, you would benefit from seeing a trauma psychologist.

Anyway without getting in too deep here, the book spoke to me on many levels which is why I have given it five stars. And I’ve already recommended it to quite a number of people.

[Giovanna Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book for those who are struggling to understand trauma, accept it happened to them (I know I did), and how to not let it rule your life. I like quite a few aspects of the book - author says she has had trauma, but doesn't go into it - just knowing she had experienced it was enough. She talks about friends as being able to help, not just 'partners'. Gosh it was such a breath of fresh air to hear that I didn't need a romantic partner to help me....the overarching narrative...and also my experience, friends have been great teachers. I like how she breaks down the trauma, it affects, repercussions, in an easy to understand prose, and not too technical, it's practical. I believe it will really help in my journey away from trauma. I'm on the way, and I'm always looking for ways to learn and grow, this is definitely recommended.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title does have the feel of a cliche self-help book and I wonder if that was a publisher's choice or the authors. If you find yourself rolling your eyes at the title I'd suggest pausing and remembering the old saying 'Don't judge a book by its' cover'...or title in this case. It is a good intro book for anyone interested in learning an overview of trauma and strategies for seeking help & working on processing.

One thing I appreciated about this book is that the author promises to not overwhelm the reader with exercises and she is true to her word. Don't get me wrong, I like writing exercises but in some books I've read in the past, it can be overwhelming to have homework at the end of every chapter. I appreciate the author bucking this popular trend in mental health books.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up.
I would like to listen to this audiobook again, but not using the Indyreads app again, as it’s such a glitchy, unresponsive app.
I found the author’s definition of ‘other traumas’ rather than ‘little t traumas’ very helpful. I also liked her descriptions of how our feelings are something we physically ‘feel’ in our bodies, but that as a society we are not good at recognising this (vs naming the feeling, other feeling talk), so not good at helping the next generation with it either.

I also liked her sequence and strategies for helping yourself feel safe when you notice that you have been triggered by something. So Rather than being tempted to move straight into discharging the pent up physical energy which often builds quickly when triggered, (being tempted by pacing the room, a fast walk, run etc), focus on building your physical feelings of safety. Her strategies for this included keeping your hands in supportive contact with your body, focus on calming your breathing with a technique that helps you (I need the simplest ones), use of other grounding techniques if you find they help you, and avoid the ones that make you more worked up. When feeling safe, if there is pent up energy still from the trigger, that’s a time to move around.

My reviews are mainly to remind myself what I did or didn’t like about an audiobook.

[Jason Price · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first self help book I have read, 50 years old, and one self help book. I always thought they we basically like joining a cult, I mean if self help books worked, there would only be one of them....

A good introduction to the post trauma response and how to work on it, with plenty of warning notes for folk with severe post trauma to "don't try this at home or alone". Everyone experiences traumatic events in their lives, not everyone ends up with trauma responses down the track, but a lot do.

Good for people to understand trauma a bit better, either for themselves or for those around them. And there are folk around you who are experiencing post traumatic responses.

It is practical, has the latest research in it, and is written by a young, female, Australian academic.
Radio interview
https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/...

[Rhii · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really easy to read and follow. While reading this book I really felt a sense of being understood and that…I’m not broken. Not as in depth as other similar books I have read, but it is one of the first I have read that combines the scientific aspect and spiritual aspect of healing, which I personally like.

[Esther · Rating 4 out of 5]

It sounds like a junky self help book, but it's actually a really helpful overview of trauma - how to identify it in yourself and how to go about seeking recovery and healing (though not as a substitute for professional mental health care). I started it as a library audiobook and then purchased it so I can keep it for reference.

[Justin Cooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't know much about trauma before reading this book. Having read the book I feel I better understand the causes, the symptoms and the wide ranging affects it has on peoples lives and ways to help overcome it.

I found the book to be well written in a friendly and caring tone. I found the author's experiences and examples she gives in the book clear and helpful.

[Ursula S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful book with pragmatic, realistic suggestions on how to stop the trauma loop. I found this book accessible and helpful, as well as optimistic. Many "self-help" trauma books simply swim in the problems/trauma and don't provide any reasonable ways to work on escaping the thinking loops.

Likely to read this book more than once.

[Alice Dowden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this on Audible. A strong, accessible resource for those who have trauma backgrounds or support those who do. I strongly recommend. I will buy a paper version to refer back to all the highlights and strategies for moving forward.

[Alice Bloomfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Very accessible and practical self help mental health books can be tough to find but this one is a winner. The book being broken down into three parts is great and easy to follow. Would recommend

[Karen Latham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be simple and helpful. The author takes care to describe what trauma is and gives 10 steps to help those living with it. Easy to understand, this book is perfect for those looking for a brief overview before diving into more comprehensive understanding.

[Jay Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was really lovely. I listened to the Audio book read by Sarah Woodhouse and it was so gentle and really passionate. I got a lot of it, some things I new already, some I hadn't thought of the way Sarah put them.

[Alicia Aitken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worth the read. A lot of highlights to assist with moving and managing trauma. Knowledge of trauma the author brings allows you to think about your childhood and trauma triggers throughout your life.

[Rochelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing! Clicked my brain into gear, so helpful

[Chrissy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Important topic that she almost got right, but she stuffed it up by being too weird.

[Annika · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book made me cry and re assess my whole life and not in the fun/helpful kind of way

[Todd McClain · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is good for helping you understand what the title states. It also gives information to help find out what to do next.

[Emily Rovelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this at a troubling/traumatic time in my life and I found it was helpful.

[Heather Axtell Slone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me a lot. I guess I'm struggling more than I thought. This really put things in perspective. I need to get my life together.

[Sophie Thorpe · Rating 3 out of 5]

finished my first book of 2024 and it was this which is a really good book to read if you struggle with PTSD/trauma - the end was my favourite part🫶🏼.

[Hannah G · Rating 2 out of 5]

What I liked about this book is how clearly the author explained what trauma is and that she emphasised trauma is very individual - an event can be traumatic for one individual even if is not for another. However, the book paints an optimistic picture about the possibility of overcoming trauma which I'm not sure recognises the challenges faced by people who less advantaged. For example, in Australia it is very hard to get access to a good counsellor/psychologist, waiting lists can be long and it is very, very expensive even with government subsidies. This makes accessing psychological help difficult for many people. Add to that language barriers, poor existing relationships, lack of support from family or friends, societal/systemic causes of trauma and it is little wonder much trauma remains untreated and becomes inter-generational.

[myfruitionlife · Rating 3 out of 5]

Used tabs, that tells me something!

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing really practical useful information