I Won't Shut Up: Finding Your Voice When the World Tries to Silence You

by Ally Henny

Being Black in a society developed by white men to benefit white men means constantly pushing back against systems that were not constructed for your flourishing. White privilege. White cultural norms. White beauty standards. White noise. You're made to feel that your life doesn't matter, your opinions aren't valid, and your entire existence is too loud. It can feel like the whole world is telling you to shut up.

To these forces, Ally Henny is here to say, "No. I am a loud Black woman, and I won't shut up." Ally knows what it's like to navigate racism and racialized sexism, having spent most of her life in predominantly white spaces. She's not taking it anymore, and she's calling you to join her in resisting racism by speaking the truth—no matter the cost. In this compelling book, Ally tells her own story of finding her voice, pushing back against oppression, and embracing her unique perspective as a loud Black woman. And she invites you to find your voice in a world that tries to silence you.

If you're tired of feeling silenced, misunderstood, and abused by society, you'll find here powerful words of liberation that will empower you to find—and use—your voice.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Social Justice, Race, Feminism, Audiobook, Biography

Audible Audio

Published July 4, 2023

About the author

Ally Henny is a writer, speaker, advocate-minister, and vice president of The Witness: A Black Christian Collective, an organization committed to encouraging, engaging, and empowering Black Christians toward liberation from racism. She completed her MDiv from Fuller Seminary with an emphasis in race, cultural identity, and reconciliation, and she hopes to lead a church someday. Ally has been leading conversations about race on her social media and blog, The Armchair Commentary, since 2014, and her posts reach millions each month. She is a proud Chicago Southsider.

Reviews

[Lindsey Horvatich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ally Henny’s long awaited book is OUTSTANDING. White women, read and listen.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was not written for me, a white woman, yet I cannot recommend it enough. For the people it was written for, please read it and take Ally's messages to heart-do not be silenced. Though, easy for me to say, right?

I have followed Ally on Facebook for years. I don't know her personally, but I do know that she is smart and kind. As I mentioned, this book was written for black women, but everyone should read it. We all may have experienced misogyny, homophobia, ageism, etc. but white people could never understand what it is like to fear for your life and safety solely based on your skin color. White people, please read this, and let's do better.

Seriousness aside for a moment, you should also read this because it has so much heart and some truly laugh-out-loud moments. Ms. Henny is an engaging and talented writer whose honest narration, draws you in and lifts you up. I hope Ally Henny keeps writing and never, ever shuts up!

[EmJ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ally is bold and unapologetic. Her writing draws you in and keeps you engaged.

[Rebecca Shrader]

All the heart eyes for this cover. Can’t wait to get my hands on this book in June! 😍😍

[Lindsay Lock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book felt like having a hard conversation over coffee with a friend.
Ally's book is one of those memoirs that speaks about Black experience in the United States (as I've heard from friends and among other readings) in a relatable manner. I found the intersectionality of this as well as the authentic vulnerability in these pages heart touching. It all of our duties, I would add especially white people's, to dismantle the white supremacist racist structures, institutions, mindsets, etc so that equity can more fully be realized. This book is a calling.

[Kristal Renee Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing words from an amazing woman

Inspirational. That's the main thing that comes to mind when reading this book. Ally Henny and I have been Facebook friends for years, so I have seen first hand some of things she has written about in this book.

Ally, I am so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished. Thank you for using your voice to be loud and right in advocating for all of us who are in marginalized groups. May God continue to bless you on this journey.

[Amala's · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a fellow black woman reading this book. I could relate to Ally’s journey so much. I loved that as I read this it sounded like a good friend imparting hard earned wisdom to another friend. It was really refreshing to read a book written from a black woman for black people.

[Patricia Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ally Henny's text I Won't Shut Up: Finding Your Voice was not written with me (a White woman) in mind, but I found her points to be thought-provoking. And her book is empowering for the target audience, but I also think it's empowering for any woman to read and think about.

Having read the works by other authors regarding racism--So You Want to Talk about Race, Stamped, How to Be an Anti-racist, and other nonfiction similar to this in content, I appreciated that Henny's text focuses more specifically on the difficulties of being a Black women, especially a "loud" Black woman.

Henry's explanation about what people consider loud (nails too long, boobs too big, butt too big, hair too puffy, laugh too loud, outfits too fancy, confidence too strong, advanced degrees, etc.) are things I find society often scorns women for (or sniggers at) in general. As Henny says, society's "norms" are a white man's standard. I can only imagine how much harder it is for a black woman who is "loud."

The part I like the best in her text (besides her explanation of what is loud--and that she is loud--and she won't be silenced) was her explanation of "respectful" racism. In other words, when white people respect Black people who conform to White standards. I've read a bit about this and thought about this quite a bit myself. But I like the way Henny explores how there are White people who expect Black people to dress like them, pronounce words like them, be quiet like them--basically conform to whiteness. And that white people who think this way are racists, even though they don't see it as such.

Another thing that sets this text apart from others that I have read is that Henny highlights people and events that she has experienced as a Black woman, specifically in church woman and as an advocate (activist). How throughout her life, people have felt her to be too "loud." And the pushback she encountered was not only in the secular world (school, work, friendships), but also in churches. Sadly, that did not surprise me. Too often institutions, and that would include school and church, have a lot of systemic racism. And I appreciate that she writes about her experiences:

"Instead of writing around the pain, I'm going to write my way out."

This is a quick read. It contains a longish introduction and has a letter to her two little daughters in the middle of the text (where she explains her purpose for writing the book). The reason why I did not give this five stars is that the flow and organization of the text was a little bumpy. But the content is important to read.

[E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a white disabled trans person so this book wasn't written for me but I find it really helpful to apply the knowledge in this book to transphobia and ableism.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author takes us on a poignant journey of what it is to be a black woman in America. As a white woman i am humbled by the opportunity to read this story and to learn.
I can not recommend this book highly enough. It should be required reading.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I selected this book to try and get an idea of how I can be an advocate for my brothers and sisters if color. I deeply appreciate Ally Henney's voice and thorough enjoyed her book.

[Gayatri Sethi Desi Book Aunty · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an earnest recommendation that folks seeking truthful accounts of racisms & #antiracism centering the experiential wisdoms of someone embodied as Black Christian woman, ought to access & study this book, preferably with community. Those committed to antiracism and speaking out will find plenty of validation & inspiration in these pages.

When was the last time you read a book that made to stop & ponder breathtaking truth written plainly without obfuscation? Page after page is prompting me to deep reflection & paradigm shifts.

This is precisely the kind of #nonfictionreads #teachtruth #educatorresources for #antioppressivepractice & #healingjustice that I actively seek out to share.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gift and a call to action. White folks who want to be anti racist please read this book — not because it is a guide for us, but precisely because it is not. This book centers Black women’s voices and experienced, and those of us who are used to having our own voices and perspectives centered need to spend more time in spaces where that’s not the case. This book felt like having an intimate conversation and also being lovingly called on my shit. A must read.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love it. It's a must-read, eye-opening, painful, beautifully written. There were some thoughts pulled together that wowed me with insight and impressed upon me how long, deep and thoughtful this journey has been. Thank you, Ally, for taking the time and courage to live loud.

[Kaitlin Kline · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[staykind · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential for anti racists

[Jacqueline · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a sucker for any book I hear about from the pulpit. Much to absorb here. I have a lot to learn.

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ally Henny wrote a powerful book about finding your voice. Her stories of how she found her voice and her Holy Hell No should be, in my opinion, required reading.

[Seth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read front to back. Ally is as insightful as ever. I especially appreciated the chapters at the end addressing burn out. It’s clear Ally has spent a lifetime cultivating the truths and self-knowledge necessary to sustain activism in a world hostile to Black bodies. She has the insight and wisdom to prove it. Also she’s hilarious. Tyler Burns said on Pass the Mic that her voice comes through clearly, and he was right. Felt like she was in the room, being herself, and teaching.

[Kimberly Beall · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book so much. The only reason for 4⭐️ is that I didn’t care for the language. Easily could’ve demonstrated all points without it.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've followed Henny's work online since about 2016, so I was very excited to see she had a book coming out. It's written for Black women, so I'm not going to review this as if I'm the target audience, but she does add enough explanatory commas that I think anyone could pick this up and benefit from reading it. Through sharing her own journey of growing up in and then working in predominantly white spaces, she explores the times when she wished she'd used her voice more and reflects on when it's time to direct one's energies elsewhere.

Because it's primarily a memoir, she's light on the examples of how to use one's voice during the kinds of times when she personally didn't succeed in doing so or in ways other than her own particular path (speaking out online and gaining an audience that way). So I wouldn't approach this as a how-to guide so much as inspiration and encouragement with some general frameworks to help you think through the ways to most effectively speak your truth without burning out. She's worked mostly in Christian spaces, including in churches, but she's quick to say that you don't need to be a person of faith to understand her perspective and that the problems she encountered in white churches are certainly not unique to those spaces.

There's a lot here that's applicable to other marginalized identities (I certainly resonated with multiple passages as a queer Christian woman), but it's unapologetically centered on Black women's experiences, and I'm glad it exists.

[Adam Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: Part memoir, part encouragement for emotionally healthy activism, part grace for the journey.

I have been blogging through my reading for about fifteen years now. One of the things I still am uncomfortable doing is writing about books where I have more than a passing acquaintance with the author. I do not want to oversell my relationship with Ally Henny, but I volunteered on a project she led for years. I am part of a group chat that, while it was well established before Covid, became part of my covid lifeline. I read some early portions of I Won't Shut Up, and I am mentioned in the acknowledgments. But we have never met in person (like many social media acquaintances), and I don't want to pretend we are best buds. It is this type of relationship that makes it hard to write, not because I don't like the book (I really do like and recommend the book), but because I am trying to figure out how to write about a book I like while acknowledging the reality of my bias is just a tricky balance to do well.

The best I can do is describe why I Won't Shut Up adds to and differs from the many memoir-ish books about racial issues in the US. First, I think that her writing as a Black woman who grew up and has primarily lived in the rural Midwest is something that no other books I have read has centered. Setting and context matter, and different backgrounds lead to different insights.

Second, there is a thread of grace throughout the book that is helpful for books like this. She has grace for herself and the ways she has grown over time. She has grace for those who have harmed her and those around her. And she has grace for the readers she is trying to encourage to grow. That doesn't mean that she ignores the harm, but that she has grace for the potential for change. She stayed with a church for a long time, which was harmful. She gave the benefit of the doubt and kept trying to help that church, and particularly the pastor of that church, see areas of weakness. But as she concludes, leaving sometimes is necessary. And when she eventually leaves that church, she has grace for the grief that she and her family feels.

The third aspect that I commend, which may not be quite as unique, is that Ally Henny frames this book around discovering her voice and how that voice is essential to moving forward as a country. Other books like Raise Your Voice: Why We Stay Silent and How to Speak Up by Kathy Khang and I'm Still Here by Austin Channing Brown both talk about how the voice (metaphorically and in reality) is essential to truth-telling. And without truth-telling, there can be no way forward. This is why, so often, it is Black and other minority women who are marginalized for speaking out about oppression.

When it was available I pre-ordered the Kindle Edition. But I knew as soon as she announced it that I would primarily listen to the audiobook because the theme of her voice would carry through more clearly in the audiobook. Having read some early drafts of the chapters, I knew there were accounts of spiritual harm. I don't want to equate anything in this book to what I have experienced, but I have been grieving leaving my own church, and I was reluctant to read the whole book when it came out. This book is consciously written for Black women, but the particularity of it makes it helpful to understand experiences that I do not have. I hope that I am not reading in an unhelpful "white gaze" type of way but in a way that honors the fact that I have something to learn.

Several of the characters are not fully named. One of those is "Pastor______." As a fellow white male, one of the problems of Pastor_______ is that he seems not to understand that he, too, has something to learn from those around him, particularly Black women. Dr Willie Jennings' book After Whiteness is particularly about theological education and how it has traditionally taught pastors to be "self-sufficient masters of educational knowledge." Pastors who always understand their role to be the leader and expert have no place in their understanding of how to learn from others. I have no idea of the educational background of Pastor______, but I do understand the impulse to want to master the knowledge and tasks around me.

There is grace in the book for slow learners. But part of what I think is important (as a 50-something-year-old white man) is that one of the most important things we can do for our legacy is to orient our lives to dealing with our own baggage and, at the same time, turning over our need to be in charge because the way forward is only through repentance and empowerment of others. Overwhelmingly, multi-ethnic churches, as the one which was led by Pastor______ are led by white men. According to research by Barna and Michael Emerson, roughly 70% of all multi-ethnic churches are led by white men. While the number of churches that can be classified as multiethnic has roughly doubled since Divided by Faith came out, the number of white men leading multi-ethnic churches is increasing, not decreasing. And while there are pastors who are doing well leading multiethnic churches, many people I know, have left those white-led multi-ethnic churches because of the harm they have felt there. (Korie Edwards also has written well about this.)

It was Ally who started the #LeaveLoud movement. No church is perfect, but some churches are definitely less perfect than others. Part of this less perfect reality is that the very people who need to be leading because of their orientation toward healing and harm mitigation, are some of the people who are least likely to be followed. Bias toward what we think of as leaders, means that white people tend to want to have white leadership. And a lot of Black or other people of color know that and end up in white-led multi-ethnic churches. There are no simple answers here, but that orientation is going to have to change. I Won't Shut Up is part of that movement toward change.

This was originally posted on my blog at https://bookwi.se/i-wont-shut-up/

[Lalaa #ThisBlackGirlReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is loud and unapologetic in all the right ways. Ally takes us on a journey of what it is like being a Black woman in America, and what a journey it is. What I love most about this book was the writing, it flows with purpose and draws you in. Pushing back and speaking up is something that is not easy to do as a Black woman, I know this firsthand. I related to much of the content because I’ve worked in predominantly white spaces for most of my career, finding and using my voice was very much a journey and a tool I had to sharpen by learning, feeling empowered, and reading books like this one. A powerful, necessary read!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not really sure what to do with this one.

First, I follow Ally Henny on Facebook, and she often keeps me sane. Having grown up in St Louis and being all too familiar with the crazy stupid racist variety Missouri can grow. Teaching American history in an as anti-racist way as Missouri will let me and in "underprivileged" areas, many things she says hit home in good ways. I have to find my community in different ways. Therefore, I spent much of this book yelling omg what are you thinking here? Why are you abusing yourself?

Second, I'm not necessarily the intended audience. I'm not Black. I'm not Christain. But in some ways I am the intended audience. I am female. I am loud and end up living my own intersectional hells that I recognize in hers. No, that doesn't mean that I experience racism. Yes, I do experience the fighting that those who uphold white supremacy do when confronted. Yes, I have my own wounds and scars from these battles. Still not the same. I get it. I can't always get others to get it. Also, I could be any of the white women who show up here. I try not to be, but we're all weak humans sometimes.

Third, what is this book wanting to be? It's part memoir. Part do this other people. Chapters seem to (incongruously) end on those notes. It was in those moments that any understanding crashed in the face of racial difference. As I'm sure happens often to people of color in white spaces.

Henny does admirably with dealing with intersectionality and encouraging support across oppressed identities!! Many books in this genre really fall short on that front. I would love to see more of this though! I am still sad about the church-goer who was against the Black Panthers....

Overall, I'm left with the feeling that I would love to have a cup of coffee with Henny, although she doesn't drink coffee and I had that feeling before I read this. There's some refining and focus to be done here to make it feel more universal to fit into the "you should do this" section, but works well as a memoir and a reminder that no one is really fighting all this alone.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

It seems appropriate to share a book about liberation the week of what Ally Henny calls “fake Juneteenth.” Ally Henny is one of the first antiracism/justice advocates I started learning from when my antiracism journey began around 2017. I have long appreciated her voice and have learned so much from her, so I was eager to read her new book. It did not disappoint!
 
Ally speaks with a unique clarity, wisdom, and thoughtfulness. I read this book as a grateful guest, as it centers Black folks and particularly, Black women. She tells vulnerable stories about her own journey of discovering her voice after realizing the myriad ways she had been silenced by white supremacy and misogynoir. She is deeply reflective and shares the wisdom gained from her own experiences.

Henny describes her concept of a “constellation of harms” and how difficult it can be to begin to name your own oppression, the reasons she lost her voice, facing racism in predominantly white spaces, finding her voice, dealing with grief and burnout, and the importance of an intersectional approach to justice. I especially appreciated the section about all of the loss tied up in the pursuit of justice and how to acknowledge and process grief on the journey toward liberation. Henny is a sage guide, offering insightful questions for consideration when working through some of the difficult crossroads one faces on the road to liberation.
 
This is an honest, hopeful read that I imagine would be validating for those experiencing misogynoir specifically or other forms of oppression. It is illuminating for those of us who hold multiple privileged identities. For everyone, it can lead to greater compassion for self and others and ultimately, individual and collective liberation.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to NetGalley for providing an ARC copy of this book, which was published 6/20/23. I ended up finishing this book after it was released, and did a combination of the kindle and audiobook. I loved both mediums: the e-book because I could highlight the paragraphs that were impactful and the audiobook because it was read by the author herself, whose voice was perfect.

This book is a must-read for those wanting to do the work of racial justice. It covers important themes like respectability politics, constellation of harms, racism within the church, and the misogynoir that black women experience in this country. Ally is an incredible writer. I found myself engaged in every story she told. She defined words and concepts in detail, while providing a nuanced perspective on complex topics.

I found myself especially relating to her experience of racism within the church. Many of the stories are about her experience being a leader in her predominately white, small-town Missouri church. Unfortunately, so many of her stories were identical to what me and my friends have experienced in the white church. These stories were unfortunately not surprising to me, but awful nonetheless.

This is a book written for any audience, really. BIPOC or white, religious or non-religious, male or female or nonbinary. Her stories are so important to raise awareness on the terrible reality of systemic racism in this country. There is so much more work left to do. I’m so grateful for Ally taking the time to carefully share her stories and words with me. What a beautiful book!

P.S. I liked this book so much, I asked my husband to read it. I felt I couldn’t share everything I wanted him to hear unless he read the whole book himself.

[Meagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

White readers not used to this kind of content, or used to this content but not the direct necessary frankness that Henny employs bravely here, may feel a little uncomfortable in Act One. Good. Change doesn't happen without discomfort. Hoepfully, such readers will also be taken in by her well told childhood memories.
By Act 2, everyone should be recognizing what Henny describes from her experiences in their friendships, organizations, and communities. You may be someone who already recognized some of these things, but not how they were a part of something bigger than just your workplace or town, and also perhaps just didnt know what to do about them. Regardless, this section will help you see the bigger picture and how the excuse of comfort has forced so many into bad situations and hurt with little change to show for it. And Act 3 offers solid advice for effective, careful advocacy and self care in the long fight ahead for everyone, which is good, because by Act 3, you'll want to help change some things if you didn't already before. And of course, she illustrates how to do everything with grace throughout the book. Even accepting your own growth and learning.

There is a bit of repetition in the style of the narratives, but it's all necessary. It all needs repeating because once is never enough.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best books are ones where the author makes you feel what they want you to feel. I n this case, Ally Henny connects the reader to her own experiences with racism. Each story tells of her pain, grief, and how she grew.

As a white guy I've never personally experienced racism myself, let alone misogynior like the author has, but this book let me peek through the window of her life to see what it looks like. Thanks to her vivid storytelling and passionate writing I was able to feel some of the rage she felt at being discriminated against. It took me away from my own perspective and thrust me into hers. It was uncomfortable at times, but that discomfort was both beautiful and necessary. Through it I learned more about her as a person, and about the struggles so many black women in American Christianty have faced.

I strongly recommend this book. Ally Henny is an excellent writer who is passionate and intentional. Her book can connect you to her own experiences, and I am grateful I got the chance to read it.

[Ambre · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found I Won't Shut Up to be very insightful, as the advice that Ms Henny offers is applicable not only to anti-racism advocacy, liberation efforts, and the work of dismantling white supremacy from a Black woman's perspective, but to ALL aspects of any person's life. While this book is addressed directly to Black people, people of all races could benefit from reading it.

The style is casual, straightforward, and easy to understand. It's like you're just having a chat with the author, rather than reading an autobiography/textbook on how to find your voice, especially if you're a 'loud' Black woman. A lot of it centers around Ms Henny's religion as her faith is a deep part of who she is, but she's not preachy about that aspect. 

I had originally joined Ms Henny's ARC team, which meant I received an ARC copy in addition to purchasing the 'final' version.

[Megan Marks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was written from Ally's soul. Ally provides an insight to non-black people while speaking directly to the Black Community. The descriptions of her lived experiences are provided in a story-telling manner, are easy to read, but also exude some of the emotions she held during those experiences. While this book was not written for me, I will take small portions as a personal bit of solace in knowing I am not alone in some lived experiences. For those who are starting their personal path to understand their privilege and work to stand against racism, this book is a great starting point. For those already on their personal path, this is a wonderful, fresh perspective from which to learn.