And Then There Was Us

by Kern Carter

A mother's death forces a teen girl to reevaluate their tumultuous relationship in this powerful coming-of-age novel for teens. For fans of I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter.

After years of physical and verbal abuse from her mother, fourteen-year-old Coi moved in with her father, and together they created a peaceful life. But now, four years later, that peace is shattered when her mother dies.

While Coi struggles to find kindness in her heart for the woman who did nothing but hurt her, her mother's passing does help reopen the door to her mother's side of the family. It's only through reconnecting with her estranged family members, especially her younger half-sister Kayla, that Coi's long-held views about her mother are challenged.

And when Coi begins to see visions of her mother in her dreams, she is forced to ask herself what it means to forgive and be forgiven, and, most importantly, what it means to be family.

Genres: Young Adult, Contemporary, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Audiobook, Canada, Grief

Audible Audio

First published April 9, 2024

About the author

Writer and author moving the world forward with words.

Reviews

[Bookishrealm · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a while to read this one because I had a difficult time with the subject matter. Nevertheless, this was an interesting/solid read. CW: death of a loved one, physical/verbal abuse at the hands of a parent, drug/alcohol use by minor. 3.5 Stars

And Then There Was Us follows main character Coi who is still dealing with the years of physical and verbal abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother. At the beginning of the novel, the two haven't talked much and Coi doesn't feel the need to expand on their lack of communication. Unfortunately, Coi's mother gets into an accident from which she doesn't recover. Coi attempts to deal not only with how to grieve the loss of her mother, but also with how to open herself up to her mother's side of the family.

What Worked: This was a somewhat personal read for me. Although my mother is still alive, we are currently no contact due to behaviors from the past and present which I consider to be abusive. There is a huge part of me that wonders what I would feel and how I would process losing her if our relationship never heals. Carter does an excellent job illustrating those feelings through the development of Coi as a character. She's angry and hurt and doesn't understand how to hold her mother accountable for those actions while also allowing herself to feel the loss. I also appreciated the depiction of the relationship between Coi and Kayla. They are sisters, but Coi effectively removes herself from Kayla's life after being kicked out of the house by their mom. Through their varied interactions, Coi learns how her inability to process the pain from her mother's abuse has also impacted her younger sister. Though things aren't perfect by the time the novel reaches a conclusion, I think it was a realistic portrayal of how trauma can be widespread and impact multitudes of individuals at the same time.

What Didn't Work: This novel was almost too short for the heaviness of the content. There were some magical realism scenes that depict interactions between Coi and her mother; however, they feel a little flat for me. I wanted more from those interactions and the flashbacks to give a well-rounded perspective of how much the mother's behavior impacted Coi. There also should have been a little more development for side characters especially those that interact with Coi. It would have added another layer of complexity to the overall narrative. And the ending was rushed. Carter could have used more time and space to truly reflect on difficult it is to balance feelings of anger with feelings of pain especially those in relationship to a loved one.

Overall, this was a solid read. This is my first book by Carter and I'm looking forward to reading more in the future.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving and at times heartbreaking coming of age YA debut about a young teen girl trying to deal with her feelings over the death of her abusive and absentee mother. Great on audio and full of difficult feelings that is sure to resonate with teens dealing with complicated family relationships. I look forward to reading more by this new Canadian author!

[Ernesto · Rating 2 out of 5]

Coi es una joven de 18 años que tiene que lidiar con la muerte de su madre, que la maltrató desde pequeña y la echo de casa hace cuatro años. Es un libro para un público juvenil pero que aborda de frente un tema durísimo y, desgraciadamente, más frecuente de lo que parece. Aparte de lo que me ha costado leerlo por razones personales, he tenido que pensar mucho qué nota ponerle a este libro. Podría haberle cascado casi cuatro estrellas porque el personaje de Coi está muy bien construido, al igual que su trauma y unas cuantas cosas más. Pero no va a ser así porque un libro tan necesario como este no puede caer en un victim blaming de manual. Buena parte de su familia la desprecia e incluso la insulta por no haber querido saber nada de la abusadora, y lo siento pero no puedo con ese rollo de “pase lo que pase una madre es una madre” cuando estamos hablando de una señora que zurraba a su hija de doce años con el palo de la escoba hasta que le salían moratones.

[Janine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short book but it packed a serious punch. I was grateful that this was part of a readalong and I was able to discuss with other people.

Our MC is Coi, who is trying to navigate her life as an 18-year-old while simultaneously trying to process her childhood trauma that is tied to her mom. Coi also has these incredibly vivid dreams about her mom.

I come from an amazing family, so I struggled to relate to a lot of the discussions in the book. I’m a firm believer that if someone treats you badly, even if they are family, you have every right to walk away from toxic relationships. Even though Coi was trying to separate herself from her mom and the abuse, so many people were berating her and accusing her of abandoning the family. That really frustrated me, but in a good way. In the sense that the author did a great job of drawing me into the plot.

This is a YA novel and the writing really has that YA vibe, but I still recommend that you pick this one up and give it a try. It’s a powerful read.

Thank you to Tandem Collective Global, Tundra Books, and the author for my gifted copy and having me as part of this readalong!

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[lexi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A moving examination of family relationships, forgiveness, and healing from previous suffering can be found in And Then There Was Us. The tale explores themes of perseverance, compassion, and the power of forgiveness as Coi struggles with her contradictory feelings and dreams back times of assault. I was crying so hard reading this book because it makes you feel like you've found yourself and that you might be able to forgive and mend. This book emphasizes the intricacies of family connections and the transformational power of forgiveness. It is an affecting and thought-provoking read. This book delivers a moving examination of healing and atonement with a gripping story and well-developed characters that will be with me for a very long time.

Thank you netgalley and penguin random house canada for the ebook ARC

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this so much! It deals with hard themes/topics (childhood physical and verbal abuse), and also tackles the hard subject of divorce/separation from an abusive parent with no contact, and the feelings all that stirs up. I think I was the most angry reading this book when Choi’s estranged family (on her abusive mother’s side), tries to kind of downplay her feelings and the situation she was in, trying to force her to forgive her mother in the aftermath of death. It was a journey Coi needed to make herself, and although I don’t agree with her forgiveness (lol I’m a terrible human probably), I do understand the lesson of how forgiveness is for yourself, and she could not have moved on with her life until she learned to forgive her mother. Ugh. Dont you hate when life lessons in books are the truth? :P

The writing definitely lends itself to the older YA audience, or a more mature reader who can handle this subject matter, so any adult can read it and feel all the emotions - sadness, annoyance, anger, and happiness. Inspirational!

(Can we also mention how this book takes place in Toronto, Canada, but yet they Americanized the spelling color? I just thought that was kinda funny!)

[Shaketta · Rating 3 out of 5]

So much to unpack. Family. Trauma. Abandonment. Mommy issues. Friends. Dysfunction. Therapy. Life lessons. Teen pregnancy.
So Coi has a lot of trauma because I think her mother may have had a mental illness, but her mom put her out when she was a teenager and told her to go stay with her dad.
Coi's mom was a teen parent (14) and I don't think the mom ever got a chance to really learn herself before becoming a mom.
For Coi's mom: So the trauma that ensued from being a teen mom, trying to take care of a whole human and being out out of your parent's house had to have been tough.
It's a lot that Coi needs for herself as a young adult because she never gets a chance to really deal with the issues she has with her mom because she dies from a car accident and Coi is left to figure out her feelings.
I enjoyed it. I feel like it was missing something though 😕. 3.5 🌟

[Stephanie B · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think it's okay. I just don't understand what I was supposed to learn. I think it could have went further to make a clear statement.

[rachel x]

cover loooove 😍

[Lalaa #ThisBlackGirlReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Where do I get closure, when the person I need closure from is dead?

When 19-year-old Coi, loses her mom suddenly in an accident, she’s forced to deal with their tumultuous relationship and find a way to move forward.

“And Then There Was Us,” is a thought-provoking YA novel that addresses grief, and loss and has elements of the effects of generational trauma. The main theme is how we deal with grief and more importantly how each person has their way of processing loss.

Coi is an engaging protagonist, who is going through it, as the story begins we get a slight look into her life before it blows up. Living with her father in Toronto she’s attending college while designing her clothing brand. And while it may seem at first glance she has it all together, Coi has been changed by being estranged from her mother, and not dealing with the pain that was left by that. But when she receives a call one night from her aunt that her mom has been in a car accident and is in the hospital fighting for her life, Coi runs to be there, while trying to process how she feels, and before she can even get a grasp her mom passes away.

As the story unfolds we see how her relationship with her mother left deep-rooted scars, that affect her in ways she’s too afraid to admit to herself. And while the abuse she endured at the hands of her mom was traumatic, she’s now left to figure out how she can get closure from someone who never apologized or showed remorse.

As a result, many of her relationships are strained, especially those with her mom’s family, including her younger sister Kayla.

Reading this book took me on a journey, and while I was deeply engrossed in Coi’s story and POV, I felt there were moments when she was acting a little bratty, particularly when dealing with her grandmother, Lady.

Key Takeaways:
- Everyone processes grief differently and this story truly showed that we have to give people space to process things in their own way.

- We all experience people differently. The way Coi experienced her mother, as opposed to her younger sister, Kayla was night and day. I think Coi had trouble processing that because she couldn’t recognize that maybe her mother changed in the years that they weren’t in contact.

- The author touches a bit on generational trauma when we hear Lady tell Coi a little bit about her experience with her mother. I wished that the author had explored that piece a little more.

Overall, the story was a good read and had many great elements. One thing that I loved, that you don’t see too much of, is Black single fathers. I loved that Coi’s dad was such a positive person in her life and kept her grounded, and while he had his faults they didn’t take away from him being a good dad.


Lines I Loved

- “I know how I feel, it’s just not what everyone wants me to feel”

- “You moved on,” Elaine says. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. That’s how you survive in this world.


Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada for sending me an advanced copy of this book for my honest review.

For more reviews visit http://thisblackgirlreads.ca/

[Lesly ୨ৎ · Rating 3 out of 5]

actual rating: 3.5⭐️

This book was an emotional rollercoaster, there’s so much to unpack with this one but I don’t want to spoil its story in my review. So I will say this: this book is heavy, there’s a lot of heavy themes and topics in this book such as physical/mental abuse, unprocessed trauma, and death of a family member to name a few.

The approach to telling this story is interesting because we follow Coi, an 18 year old that actually has a really good head on her shoulders but, beneath her hustle and hard work, she is fractured from the actions and inaction of her abusive mother. Coi’s thoughts throughout the book are interesting because we as the reader can see her trying to work out her emotions/feelings when confronted with certain things. Her debating the course she wants to take a conversation with her boyfriend, Derrick or her grandmother, Lady. She has a good read on people but funny enough, because this is just how life is, she doesn’t have a good read on herself until her family spells it out for her clearly. Coi’s character arc was beautiful to read, the shift in attitude and mindset; as she takes a step into processing the death of her mother and her relationship with her mother.

I will say, the reason I mark this book at 3.5 stars and not a solid 4, is due to the fact that while the pacing was fine even though I would be like “oh we’re jumping in time again” that part I was fine with because it felt like those were fade outs from that particular point in Coi’s life to keep the story moving along. My main complaint is that I wish some scenes were expanded upon even more. There are so many conversations that I wish got a proper conclusion and not an abrupt ending because it felt like it would stop right when we were getting a pivotal moment for the characters. For instance, Coi and her father’s conversations were often cut short and I wish we could’ve gotten more from them, more backstory about Coi’s mother.

Another example would be Derrick, I think his character could’ve been developed a bit more, especially because Coi’s treatment of him wasn’t always the best as she was going through A LOT in this book. I wish they could’ve had at least a conversation about it because it was something that happened often throughout the story. I also wish that there could’ve been more with Coi’s dreams of her mother, those dreams were so vital to the story that I found myself anticipating the next one because it added nuance to the story.

Coi and Kayla’s relationship was written so well, the hard hitting questions were so important for both of their stories and I am glad this book didn’t shy away from that at all.

I didn’t expect this book to make me cry but it did, this book takes its themes of family, loss, grief, and trauma; and really shows a full display of the healing process, the “my mom was a shitty and I hated her for it but I also loved her and miss her” bit, confronting thoughts that have been kept under lock and key for years, reliving certain experiences and being traumatized all over again.

Thank you to Netgalley & Penguin Random House Canada for the eARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Khwahish Khan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be careful of what you tell yourself.

I first heard Kern Carter say that during a Storytelling and Narratives lecture. As a cohort, we were guided towards thinking about what stories we tell ourselves. What version of the truth do we convince ourselves to believe in?

That lecture and this novel meet ends.

There are very few authors that I've read who practice what they preach. Kern Carter is one of them and And Then There Was Us is a prime-time example.

Coi took me on an intuitive journey where she learned how to forgive her family and taught me how to see my family members in a different light. I was just as torn as Coi through the first half of the novel - I didn't know if I should feel angry towards Coi's mother, Crissy, or feel sorry for her. Which emotion would be appropriate?

The answer lay within the novel itself.

Through Crissy's father, we learn that there is no 'right way' to feel. His words reminded me of the quote from To All The Boys I've Loved Before where Lara Jean says, "You can be mad at someone and still miss them."

What's interesting to note is that Coi's father remains unnamed throughout the novel. We see Coi's estranged maternal side titling him Mister Smart Guy but never quite referring to him by his name. In fact, we learn almost every character's name in the book except Coi's father. It seems like a deliberate choice as it portrays the bond he has with Coi. It reads as though he's the only true family she has.

Given the importance Coi's father had in her life, I did wish we got to read more about their relationship in connection to Crissy. What was the dynamic between the three of them like? How was Crissy's behaviour towards Coi when her father was home? How did Coi's father respond? I found myself wondering about that a lot. I also found myself thinking about Coi and Derrick and the significance of their relationship to the plot of the novel. Apart from the scene revolving around the necklace, where else did the relationship directly impact the flow of the novel?

Although I did have the aforementioned plot-centric concerns, I had none with regard to Kern's writing style. It would be a disservice if I didn't deem the book melodic. The writing had a rhythm to it - every line had significance; and so when Coi said, "I don't cry, not for her, not ever," I knew it meant something. In an interview with Corey Kareem Roberts, Kern talks about being inspired by the Toni Morrison's writing and the desire to be able to write like that. You can see the manifestation of that desire through lines like, "Small piles of snow along the road are like flares guiding us the entire way."

And Then There Was Us does stand to be a novel of its time as we see a generation more actively engaging in conversations concerning 'mommy' or rather family issues as a whole.

Book Overview
Genre: Young Adult Fiction
Pace: Fast paced
Trigger Warnings: Mention of alcohol and drug use, death of a parent, car accident, domestic abuse, emotional abuse

[Nicole Austin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Netgalley and Tundra Books for the ARC in exchange for an honest review!

"And Then There Was Us" by Kern Carter is a beautifully well-written exploration of family and forgiveness. Set against the backdrop of Coi's tumultuous journey, the book develops themes of resilience and compassion. This book is absolutely gorgeous, and I found myself moved to tears quite a few times as I was reading. Coi’s story will definitely stick with me for awhile.

Coi's story unfolds in a series of monthly vignettes, offering a unique structure that adds depth and complexity to the storytelling. As an 18-year-old grappling with the trauma of her past, Coi navigates the challenges of forgiveness and reconciliation while juggling the responsibilities of college, work, and family dynamics.

Carter skillfully portrays Coi's inner struggles and conflicting emotions, making her a relatable and compelling protagonist. She felt like an authentic teenager with both her thoughts and her actions. While sometimes she was a bit naïve and didn’t think things through completely, that is what made her feel so real. Readers will definitely be able to connect with Coi, especially if they have had similar experiences. I also really enjoyed the book’s examination of family dynamics and the bonds that hold family together. Coi's relationships with her father, best friend Jes, boyfriend Derrick, and her estranged mother and sister are portrayed with nuance and sensitivity, highlighting the complexities of love and forgiveness. Just like with Coi’s character, the relationships between everyone aren’t perfect. There are flaws and weaknesses, but that’s what makes the characters and their relationships so powerful and realistic.

Some aspects of the plot, specifically the relationship between Coi and Derrick, could have been developed more. I thought the resolution was a bit rushed resolution and their underdeveloped relationship left me wanting more closure and depth. However, the family relationships were really where the book shined and left a lasting impression on me.

Overall, "And Then There Was Us" is a compelling and thought-provoking read that offers a moving exploration of healing and redemption. I would definitely recommend this book for anyone wanting a YA contemporary book that explores family relationships in a realistic and heart-wrenching way.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would like to thank Penguin Random House and Tundra books for the ARC of And Then There Was Us. I love the book's cover and I loved reading this young adult novel even more. The book is divided into months instead of chapters, which, I found to be unique. There is some foul language and reference to drugs, alcohol, and abuse that may be triggering for some readers. Keep in mind this book is about family, single fatherhood, love, and forgiveness with a sprinkle of humor. It warmed my heart, as I know this book will help young adults with its message.
Coi, an 18-year-old who was raised by her father, after being abused by her mother and kicked out of their home. She attends college for graphic design during the day and works on her own clothing line on the side. Coi is struggling with forgiving her mother, Crissy, for her past transgressions and her grandmother, Lady, for her judgmental ways. She starts to regret her lost relationship with her half-sister, Kayla, by her stepfather Dave.
Coi is blessed to have an amazing support system, which includes her father, best friend, Jes, boyfriend, Derrick and at times her Aunty. When her mother is in a car accident and ends up on life support, this support system is vital. Coi struggles with how to be there for a mother who was never there for her and for an innocent little sister that's stuck in the middle. Kayla misses her big sister and is struggling with life just like Coi. Coi has to come to realize she is being selfish and needs to rebuild her relationship with Kayla. All, while her strained relationship with her mother starts to cross over into her dreams.
Even though, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, there were parts the writer left me wanting more. For example: Coi's relationship with her mother. What happens when she walks away from Derrick when he upsets her, and she shuts him out? I don't want to spoil the book, so I'll only provide two examples.
I know young adults and older ones too, will enjoy reading this book. Again, thank you Penguin Random House for sending this lovely piece of work. I've already envisioned how a sequel could follow.

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

18 year old Coi hasn't seen her mother, her stepfather, or her younger sister in five years; not since her emotionally and physically abusive mother kicked her out before high school, and Coi moved in with her supportive, loving father. Now, though, Coi's mother is in a car accident, and eventually dies, leaving Coi to sort through all of her unprocessed trauma. Everything is complicated, though. For one, reconnecting with her mother's family is difficult. She loves her little sister, Kayla, but Kayla has also been through a lot--their mother didn't abuse Kayla, but losing your mother at 13 after essentially losing your big sister when you were 9 is a lot to handle. Coi gets so lost in her own head that she forgets about what Kayla might be going through, though she does take steps to build a relationship eventually. Coi also has to deal with her poisonous grandmother, Lady, who keeps picking fights with her and expecting her to know things about her mother that no one ever told Coi (and none of which make her abusive actions excusable). It's a lot to process, and it takes a lot of time.

I mostly thought this was well done. Though I have always had a loving relationship with my mother, I have friends who have had one or two difficult parents, and this helps me to understand perhaps some of what they have gone through in losing those parents. I got frustrated with people who seemed to expect Coi to take into account her mother's history, when no one had ever bothered to tell her that history. I mean, seriously? Was she supposed to osmose it? And was she then supposed to forget the horrible things her mother did to her? And I wish there had been more with the boyfriend, who got pretty short shrift and was essentially unnecessary, as written. This is definitely an all-the-feels, no-right-answer book, so kids who love some complicated family drama will appreciate it. Thanks to Libro.FM for a free educator copy of the audiobook.

[Dylan · Rating 3 out of 5]

"And Then There Was Us" by Kern Carter is a thought-provoking novel with an engaging protagonist and deep introspection, earning it a respectable 3.5-star rating from me. Coi's inner dialogue is a highlight of the book, offering a unique glimpse into her psyche and making her a relatable and complex character. The way the author delves into her thoughts and emotions adds depth and authenticity to the story, making her struggles and growth all the more compelling.

However, there are some aspects of the book that left me wanting more. One significant issue is the rushed resolution. The climax of the story felt somewhat abrupt and left a number of loose ends that could have been tied up more satisfactorily. It's as if the story was building towards something more substantial, but then it concluded with a somewhat underwhelming resolution, leaving the reader with questions and a sense of incompleteness.

Another area where the book falls short is in the development and resolution of the relationship between Coi and Derrick. While their connection is a central part of the story, it felt underdeveloped and lacking in depth. The evolution of their relationship could have been explored in more detail, allowing readers to better understand their feelings for each other. The lack of a more satisfying resolution for their relationship left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied.

In conclusion, "And Then There Was Us" is a book that excels in portraying the inner world of its main character, Coi, and her journey of self-discovery. However, it falls short in terms of the rushed resolution and the underdeveloped relationship between Coi and Derrick. While it's a worthwhile read for those who enjoy character-driven narratives, it may leave readers wishing for a more thorough exploration of certain plot elements.

[Sarah Perry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kern Carter examines the complex and sometimes difficult relationships between parent and child in this heartfelt novel.

Coi is a strong-willed, ambitious, resilient and relatable teenager on the brink of adulthood. When her abusive mother is in an accident that leaves her fighting for her life, Coi is forced to face her childhood trauma and the relationship she had with her mom. She is confronted with a myriad of emotions, old family issues resurfacing, and the task of navigating her way through the truths that find her in this book.

Carter was able to write this story in a way that drew me right in. I was able to connect with Coi on a deep level, and I believe that many others will be able to connect with her upbringing, the emotional toll it has on a teenager, as well as how that carries forth into young adulthood. There were some unexpected tears as I worked through some of my own sh*t right alongside Coi, and it triggered a lot of memories from that time in my life.

The dysfunctional family dynamics were so hard to read through at some points. Even I wanted nothing to do with Lady. Though I understood what she was saying, her delivery irked me every time.

On the other hand, the father/daughter relationship was enjoyable, and I loved the moments between her and her aunt, and sister. Also, may we all have a friend as supportive as Jes.

Overall, I loved And Then There Was Us. It was a great exploration of family, and how grief, healing and forgiveness look different for everyone. I read this as part of a group readalong and highly recommend this for buddy reads! Lots of good discussions to be had with this one.

Thank you to Tundra Books for sending this gem my way!

[Chantal (atozbookaholic) de Rocquigny · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I received the email to do a read along for this book, I didn't hesitate to sign up. I immediately fell in love with the beautiful cover, and the synopsis drew me in. It is also written by Canadian author - bonus!

Coi is an 18 year old struggling with some heavy challenging family trauma. As she tries to navigate through the trauma after her estranged mother suddenly passes away, we embark on a journey of emotions with Coi.

I am VERY much a daddy's girl, so I truly appreciated Coi's relationship with her father. I also loved her friendship with her best friend Jes, her relationship with her half-sister Kayla, and her auntie. Those were her people that she would lean on, and that helped her work through and process her trauma. Oftentimes, we are mean to those who we love most because there usually is that unconditional love. We saw this unconditional love be present between Coi and her father when she was being difficult, stubborn, challenged, etc. Basically, it's a typical teenager!

Despite being a teen with trauma, we see Coi living a very grown-up way of life. She moves out of her dad's home and into her own place, even if it's just temporary. My daughter, at the age of 18, moved away from home and has been living on her own for almost 3 years. It's definitely doable for some young adults.

The book was beautifully written. However, the group did discuss that there could have been more development with certain characters, and the ending felt rushed. We, as the readers, wouldn't have minded if the book was longer so that we could get more details needed.

As for the ending, I didn't mind the ending. I can see why she made that decision, and I agree with her choice. It will now be up to you to decide whether Coi made a right or wrong decision. ;)

Thank you, @tandemcollectiveglobal and @tundrabooks, for hosting this read along! Our Instagram group was one of the most insight and opinionated (in a good way) chats I've ever participated in.

CW: death of a parent, grief, drug and alcohol use

[Laurie • The Baking Bookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

This short YA novel, set in Toronto, follows 18-year-old Coi, a young woman who has a tumultuous relationship with her abusive mother who has come in and out of Coi's life. Coi has very complicated feelings for her mother and her stern and austere maternal grandmother and readers witness how Coi struggles to process her childhood trauma which is complicated even more by the sudden death of her mother.

Loosely based on the author's family, And Then There Was Us is a well-paced and powerful read. Carter explores conflicting emotions, forgiveness, the sometimes complicated, messy and dysfunctional nature of family and how the resulting trauma can be passed down from one generation to the next.

Written with compassion and perfectly paced, Carter easily pulls his readers into his story that packs an emotional punch. I look forward to reading more from Kern Carter.

Disclaimer: I had the pleasure of meeting Kern Carter at the Ontario Library Association Super Conference in January and eagerly brought home a copy of his debut novel with no expectation of a review. All opinions are my own.

[raavi · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is 223 pages of victim blaming.

Sure, forgiveness is good, yada yada, THIS WOMAN ABUSED HER. Like really abused her. Like beat her with a broomstick unprovoked abused her. And everyone around Coi is telling her that she's at fault because they didn't talk for five years? A teenager is getting blamed for not having contact with a grown woman. And we're supposed to think that these characters are right. Like WTF? And if Coi wanted to forgive her mother, that wouldn't be an issue, except everyone in this entire book is basically forcing her to forgive someone that was so evil and vile to her. And the fact that Dave, Lady, and Auntie all knew that the abuse was happening and did nothing? Standing there and watching a child get abused makes you a bad person. Abusing a child makes you a bad person. You cannot erase that trauma and this book is trying to make it seem like "well actually when you left your mother became better so you should forgive her". Stupidest book I've read in a while. I'm actually at the verge of tears of how stupid this book is. Literally why would anyone write this piece of trash. I was actually excited to read this because I'm also from Toronto and I always enjoy books from my city though. But literally almost everyone in Coi's life failed her.

[Marielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot give enough praise to Kern Carter for his latest masterpiece- and not just because it gave me a cathartic cry. And Then There Was Us is an emotional roller coaster of a ride about trauma, the blood that binds us and forgiveness. At just 200 pages, this novella packs a punch. Carter uses his word count wisely- it says just what it needs to say, no more and no less- and the result is a flawless read. The characters are real and our protagonist Coi is stubborn and angry and prideful and empathetic and loving and kind- an example of all the emotions we cycle through when we deal with those who hurt us. Some of the things are written so beautifully and so accurately they feel like they came from my own head and these are the books that stay with us long after we are done reading them.

I would recommend this book for anyone who needs healing or knows someone who needs healing or if you enjoy books about difficult family dynamics. For YA readers and adults alike. This book pubs on April 9. Thank you to author for providing me with an advance copy for my review. A book I will be raving about all year.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is such a realistic portrayal of a teen managing her emotions and growth after the death of her abuser. Coi struggles with her emotions and how she should feel with her mothers death. How do you feel sympathy for someone you haven’t had a relationship with in many years? Coi also struggles with understanding how she fits in with her mother’s family, who did nothing to protect her from this abuse. Of course Coi is angry, so much so that it is affecting her dreams. The novel takes some magical realism elements with these dreams, but they force Coi to deal with all of these emotions. Overall, this novel accurately portrays the raw feeling and processes one must overcome to heal from years of trauma.

Overall, this is a short and easy read, which is approachable for all teens. I would’ve liked to have seen more development with the other characters in the book (aside from her father). Her relationship with her father was solid, which brought such balance to the story.

Thank you to TundraBooks and PenguinRandomCA for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Sam - Spines in a Line · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to Tandem Collective and Tundra Books for a copy for the readalong!

I really appreciate books for younger readers that take on serious themes, and I felt that Carter handles the difficult subject of abuse well. The teen MC Coi is allowed to feel all her feelings, sometimes putting her at odds with those who truly care about her, but it’s balanced with many adult voices in the book emphasizing that blame or shame is not something Coi needs to carry for herself.

The book fell short for me more in the writing than the themes, as it felt like there was more exposition than needed. I would’ve loved for some moments to have been shown rather than described in the narration. Still, I love what this book offers for young readers and taking note of the content warnings, I think it’d be an important read for many.

I’ve rounded up to 4 stars here as the discussions I had in the readalong really made the reading experience so enjoyable.

[Mande Garrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you for the copy of this book. Wow! This was such a hard hitting and mind blown book. It certainly had me thinking of the days back with my mom before she died. I certainly didn’t fully go thru what the main character did in this book, but still, it had you thinking. I would definitely recommend.

Coi, a 18 year old gal, was living a happy life with her dad. Til one day her mom calls. Next Coi knows she’s getting a call her mom is in the hospital. Few days later she passes away. She had to relive memories and let me say not good memories. Coi was so full of anger, not just at her mom but everyone. Slowly she started learning things about her mom. With living on her own and trying to make her dreams come true and people helping her to know she ain’t the only one suffering; that things snapped into place. Especially spending the summer with her sister for the summer and visiting her mother’s grave.

[Laura Wheeler · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC via NetGalley from Penguin Random House Canada, Tundra Books
I read this book ahead of a virtual author visit from Kern Carter with our high school students.
A story of what it means to be family. Of forgiveness (or at least reckoning with the past?) & who that forgiveness is for.
There were a few plot points that felt rushed at times or I had trouble understanding the characters' motives behind it. I wished for a bit more from Derrick's storyline. I'm not sure I fully felt his & Coi's relationship. I want his arc to be as full as Jes's, the best friend.
But overall this is a great YA read; a Black author writing a diverse cast of characters without race being the central plot point. Not leaning on stereotypes of overdone trauma narratives.
And the cover art is phenomenal!

[Crystal books_inthewild · Rating 3 out of 5]

This novel follows Coi, an 18 year old struggling with some really challenging family trauma. Her abusive mother, who she has been estranged from for years, suddenly passes away. She is then forced to confront some big feelings about her past, her relationship with her aunty, half sister & grandmother, and look to what her future will hold

Coi was such a great character to explore some really big topics- she was in a pivotal time in her young life, and exploring her feelings in a very real, messy, anger-filled way. She had a few key people around her that she could lean on, and that helped her work through & process her past trauma.

Thank you to Tundra and Tandem Collective Global for inviting me on this readalong, and gifting me a copy of the book.

[Maya Patel · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a pleasure being part of my very first readalong with @tandemcollectiveglobal. This beautifully written novel was an emotionally moving book about a teenager who survives years of physical and verbal abuse by her mother.

Thank you to @tundrabooks @penguinrandomca @tandemcollectiveglobal @kerncarter for my gifted copy.

ATTWU is a gripping story which explores family relationships, forgiveness, compassion, anger, healing and looking forward. Coi is a very driven and determined young woman who has suffered a lot in her young adult life but with the love of friends and family, she begins to live through her trauma rather than with it.

As mentioned during our discussions, I wish there was more to the book, I would have loved to read on how certain characters evolved. It would have been nice to have the ending develop a little more, rather than having it rushed. Especially after going through the emotions with Coi.

[Gabriel · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were parts of the story that seemed like they would get more attention, but instead fell away. Most notable were the dream sequence interactions between Coi and her mother which provided some poignant moments, but also didn’t feel fully resolved to me. Coi’s relationship with her boyfriend, Derrick, was another. They had some dysfunction that seemed to be building to something but ultimately wasn’t addressed.
However, overall this was an achingly moving depiction of grief and trauma when the chance for reconciliation is well and truly lost. All the complicated feelings Coi has for her mother now that she’s gone and frayed relationships with her mother’s side of the family were written so well.

[John Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of kids grow up in abusive homes, often feeling like tennis balls being lobbed in a demented parental tennis match. Coi is such a teen.Her mother abused her verbally and physically until at fourteen, her father got full custody. But even her last day with her mother was full of loud, hostile rejection.
Coi has begun building a new and creative life for herself with a boyfriend, best friend, and a budding career as a graphic artist and fashion designer. Then her estranged mother dies after being comatose for a while in the hospital, following an auto accident. Coi doesn't go to the funeral and afterward is left to struggle with unresolved anger and grief, along with a bunch of painful 'what ifs.' She also has to figure out how to reconnect with her younger half sister, get the truth about why her mom was the way she was, and then decide how to move on with her life. The author does a fine job of leading readers through all of this messiness.

[Brittney Notaro · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 ⭐️ rounded up! I actually liked this book a lot but it got a slightly lower rating from me because I wish it gave me MORE. I was craving more: more back story, some more character development from some prominent side characters, some deeper explanation on decisions and things that happened both past and present…. It was a short book and a quick & easy read (so well written) but I wouldn’t have minded if being longer for a bit more detail!

The ending made me mad because… well I understood her decision after it was explained but I guess I personally didn’t agree with it lmao. It could be me letting my own similar experiences make me biased but I felt the decision making and the healing was a little rushed.

What I did love: Coi’s relationship with certain characters: her dad, Jes, Kayla, her aunt. The writing was also wonderful and really captivated me. THE EMOTIONS UGH. I felt it all. Mr. Carter you’ve made me an emotional wreck and I love it.