Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

by Meg Meeker

Parents have never had a tougher job than now. Our culture bombards our daughters with unhealthy role models, misleads them about the consequences of early sexual activity, and even adds to the confusion of adolescences by encouraging them to question their “gender”.

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than 30 years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women - and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the 11 steps that will help your daughter - whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen - to achieve her full human potential.

In this book, you will



The four biggest questions every daughter has - and that you must answer Why it's the quality, not the quantity, of your daughter's friends that matters The essential, complementary roles that mothers and fathers play The dangers of social media - and how to help your daughter navigate them What every daughter needs to know about God Why depression is often a "sexually transmitted disease" How to launch your daughter into successful womanhood If you have a daughter, and worry about her future, you need Dr. Meg's advice.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Self Help, Family, Collections

Audible Audio

First published December 31, 2019

About the author

Full name: Margaret J. Meeker.

Reviews

[Andrea · Rating 1 out of 5]

Beware the strong fundamentalist Christian themes throughout this book. I would argue that much of the advice is toxic and less so the culture we live in.

[Widyanto Gunadi · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authoress of the national bestseller parenting book entitled Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Dr. Meg Meeker, M.D., is back and has released yet another great reference of wisdom about raising staunch daughters. This time, Dr. Meeker filled up her discussions with sound advice, backed by her scientific and clinical experience in consulting many girls throughout her medical career, on how to educate teenage or older girls into loving figures who held on, steadfastly, to good as well as morally honorable, conservative values, amidst the toxicity of the modern-day cultures. It's as well to study the content of this book ahead of time, regardless of the age of your daughter(s), to be able to extensively prepare them for self-protective, precautionary strife against the numerous unwholesome worths and valuations of the world we live in today.

[Chalaby · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for parents of girls! I found it a helpful and encouraging read as my oldest prepares for high school. High school isn’t the same as it was when I was there many years ago. Parents need to be aware of what our children will be exposed to so we can keep the lines of communication open and give our daughters the love and acceptance they crave. Dr. Meg writes about social media, promiscuity, eating disorders, depression, sexuality, friends, feminism, and much more. I highly recommend this book!

[Rhonda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Reader beware, this book is full of implicit bias and strong fundamentalist Christian themes. Not at all what it touts itself to be.

[Jerrid Kruse · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of the books recommendations make sense. Make sure your daughter feels love, don’t oversexualize, encourage independence, etc. are somewhat obvious. Other times the book is just conservative apologetics. The author seems to have never met a moral atheist and implies that the values she holds dear are only achievable through religion. She also misrepresents feminism a bit, but several of her recommendations are fully online with what she considers “toxic feminism”, so she seems to agree with feminism in principle, just can’t quite bring herself to admit a liberal ethos.

[Tina Rentzis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Meeker dares to dissect the truth about controversial social topics that have the potential to ruin our daughters. A must read for parents with open minds.

[Amyiw · Rating 3 out of 5]

Should be named
Raising a Strong Christian Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Faith Based Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe.

Intrinsic value simple for who she is, yes, regardless of what she does (achievements wise). Yes, I agree with that but just saying, because god loves you, even if I could is NOT good enough. It has to be the people around her, mom and dad. Unconditional love of mom, dad, and others in the family sure. I had to ignore 1/2 of this as it is not my beliefs and will not change my whole being. It would be impossible as I was raised in a whole different belief/values way. So the title should have made it clear it is christian based support. You can find some ideas looking through the simplistic christian answers and put emphasis on the other suggestions. I was able to get past some of the very heavy moralistic christian value advice and get to actual advice and views.

Can I use some of it sure. I bookmarked 5 specific things as advice which I think will help. But to get to that you must either pass over the strengthen your bond with God and discount some of what is preached, or agree that belief and faith are the most important. Here is a direct quote at about 60%

"Our daughters need to know that they are a part of something more, something of lasting value and meaning. And that begins with teaching them that there lives are not all about them. They are about serving God. He is the one who made us. He is the one with a plan for us. He is the one fitting us into the whole. The apostle Paul said that "God is before all things and in Him all things hold together" Colosians 1:17. In this context we can better understand Saint Augustin's famous opening to his confessions, where he praises God and observes, "You have made us for yourself and our heart is restless until it rest in you." Your daughter will always be restless, will always be unsatisfied, will always be unfulfilled until she finds faith. And the road to faith is the search for truth."

And it goes on for the chapter. If it had started with this, I would've stopped reading. I did feel I got some stuff that will help with my 15 year old but not anything where she preached that it was the ONLY way. Life, morality and god, was very repeated.

She did talk about social media how it is creating teens that are much more unhappy. What was supposed to be a useful tool is now a negative influence on our children. There are ideas on how to curtail this. Also how to help kids develop relationships that are not toxic. Unluckily she also became very political in her views of sex, marriage and abortion. I don't disagree with delaying sex until a girl has a better understanding of herself and the emotions that go into it. I am married 25 years, one marriage, but I don't consider marriage the glue, it is commitment. So I have very different values but not altogether different commitments on family.

I think some of this might not be as good for a daughter that is missing one parent. Much is suggestions for one parent or the other. I really think this would be best for parents in a marriage with christian ideals. I did get some ideas and if you are like me, you might find somethings speak to you.

[Tammy Tosti · Rating 1 out of 5]

As a mother of two school aged girls I found that the book definitely spoke to many issues that I’ve run into on my parenting journey but I found the writing style too preachy. Anytime you have a lot of “shoulds” and “don’t” it gives me pause. I would also say it has a lot of religious undertones so be prepared for that to show up prominently in the pages.
I appreciated the real life examples of girls and their parents throughout the pages so the book wasn’t “boring” but I can’t say I learned anything earth shattering.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Children see mothers and fathers as being very different. They believe that a mothers love is non-negotiable and inherent in who she is, while a fathers love must be earned. If a father chooses to love his daughter, she feels special. But a mother’s love is something she feels she can always fall back on. It’s a security blanket - and that belief is entirely psychologically reasonable.”

[Dave · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was totally turned off by the narrative and principles that were pushed throughout this. There are much better books that tackle this important topic without pitching a "this is the only way" vibe.

[Judy McCarver · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is called “Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture.” For some reason when I scanned it, Goodreads attached a different name to it.

It’s critical for our daughters that we as parents are fully aware of the toxic culture that engulfs our kids. One key problem is that we as parents are entrenched in this same culture and so we are blind to the trauma it is producing for our children. In one example, unbelievably, Dr, Meeker was speaking at a conference attended by mostly affluent parents. The majority of the attendees literally said they did not see a problem with their daughters posting nude photos on social media. One misguided father said “as long as she doesn’t show her face in the picture...” God help us parents. Yes for sure, it difficult and can be a tough road of parenting. But it is entirely possible for us to be the greater influence in the lives of our girls. It IS entirely possible for mothers and fathers to examine their relationship with our girls and decide to be more engaged with them. It is for us to choose! We can choose affirmation; boundaries; placing limits on their social media and other media viewing. We can choose family dinner as phone free zones. We can choose not to allow our children of divorce to be further traumatized by live in boyfriend/girlfriends. We can choose to model a life of faith in a God that is faithful even when others are not. We can choose to do the hard work of parenting our kids over being their buddy NOW in order that we can be their life long friend later. If you are a parent of a daughter I urge you; no I plead with you; read this book.

[Kasey Dietrich · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first of this book was great. This author understands what it means to be a woman, but isn't boastful about her knowledge. I love her advice of keeping girls raised with religion, that's great as it tells them they were lovingly made on purpose by God, and hence they deserve respect. Now that's some empowerment right there. I also often lose a lot of faith in humanity when most authors put in anecdotes and testimonies. But this author, Meeker, her anecdotes taught me what to do rather than what not to do, which is great, and all the anecdotes refreshed my faith in women, mothers, and humanity itself. I love the fact that she mentions that if a mother doesn't keep a good, healthy, relationship with their daughter, raising them with the right values, it can have disastrous consequences. And I love how she describes the purpose of fatherhood when fathering a strong, smart, wonderful daughter, aside from the statically proven benefits of having a prominent father figure, they are also meant to teach their daughters how to be assertive and respect herself by setting boundaries that will keep her comfortable and safe. Awesome. I cannot tell you what a breath of fresh air that is since usually when talking about the role of a father, authors understand what benefits having a prominent father figure is, but when describing the role of a dad they say creepy (borderline pedophilic) things like "a dad is a girl's first love", "a father is her shield, her protector", this part is true, but the way they say usually implies that you shouldn't teach your daughter how to defend herself, or it's often portrayed as a "my dad is my boyfriend" sort of way. A breath of fresh air, period. The only thing I didn't like so much was how she beat around the bush when it came to sexuality when from a Judeo-Christian standpoint, she didn't really stress the whole no premarital sex thing. But she did talk about the pressure on girls to have sex in order to seem more mature to society and how it destroys their idea of trust and long term relationships. Coolio.

[Vinessa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am sad to report that I cannot bring myself to finish this book. I am more than halfway done as I really wanted to give this Dr. a chance but reader beware, this book is full of implicit bias and strong fundamentalist Christian themes. Not at all what I thought I was getting into. Very preachy and judgemental. As a woman I was offended at some of the examples and the constant push for woman to stay in a marriage if it is not healthy, why, because woman are the glue. You know what? Woman are the glue, and too often they believe this nonsense and teach their girls (and boys) that its okay to be yelled at or have a distant parent as long as the family stays together. Really? I want to teach my daughter to be self-sufficient as well as giving and nuturing, but not to stay in a relationship if it turns toxic and there is fighting going on for years. Dr. Meeker used one example similar to this and years later, (after the children had listened to countless fights) it was determined that the husband had a mental illness, and the mom was a hero because she stuck with him. Please, the children are not better off for being exposed to a distant father and nightly arguements for years on end. I'm sorry, this whole book seems like a huge step backwards. There were some basic good sense ideas on Modeling, mentoring etc. but this is seriously overshadowed by the underlying conservative message.In my eyes, if your child is not straight and you listen to Dr. Meeker, you will do more harm than good.

[Erika G. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book, written by a pediatrician, promises advice for raising daughters in today’s challenging world. But what it doesn’t mention up front is its strong Catholic perspective, which dominates the author’s viewpoints. While faith-based parenting advice can be valuable for some, this book misses the mark by presenting these views as universal truths without considering other perspectives or evidence.

The author spends a lot of time criticizing feminism and the #MeToo movement, claiming they foster unnecessary fear of men. She undermines the need for preparing girls to recognize or respond to harassment, insisting instead that “most men are good.” This perspective risks leaving girls unprepared for real-world challenges. Ironically, the author herself benefited from feminist ideals—her husband took on caregiving duties so she could complete her medical training—but she dismisses feminism’s positive impact entirely.

The book also insists on the importance of two-parent households, even in cases of toxic or abusive relationships. This oversimplified view ignores the damage such environments can cause and the strength of single-parent families when safety and stability come first.

Ultimately, the book leans too heavily on religious and traditional ideals without offering practical, inclusive advice for modern parents. If you’re looking for a balanced, evidence-based guide, this might not be the book for you.

[José S. · Rating 1 out of 5]

Este libro no te advierte que es un tratado cristiano sobre crianza de niñas.

Este libro no tiene nada tiene que ver con el pensamiento o teorias de Zygmunt Bauman.

Es una mera estafa mercadológica. el libro en lugar de sugerir el en enseñarle a la niña a pensar por si misma, sugiere que se le enseñe a tener fe, que no resuelva por si misma, en su lugar que ore, que se aferre a los cánones cristianos y que no se adapte a una sociedad cambiante.

Una perdida de tiempo panfletaria, anti-feminista, pro-vida y otras insinuaciones nocivas de pensamiento fanatista.

This book doesn't warn you that it's a Christian treatise on raising girls.

This book has nothing to do with the thinking or theories of Zygmunt Bauman.

It's a mere marketing scam. Instead of suggesting teaching girls to think for themselves, the book suggests teaching them to have faith, not to make decisions for themselves, but instead to pray, to cling to Christian canons, and not to adapt to a changing society.

A waste of time, full of pamphleteering, anti-feminist, pro-life, and other harmful insinuations of fanatical thinking.

[Jackie Novak · Rating 5 out of 5]

Packed to the punch with scientific research, cited studies, and – what I loved most: vignettes from Dr. Meeker’s 30 years as a pediatrician; parents can walk away from this book and implement the suggestions immediately. From helping your daughter to establish healthy friendships, to accepting that she doesn’t need to “do it all” to be happy, Meeker hits home with so many of the challenges teenage girls face today and the steps parents can take to help their daughters navigate through it all. Self-esteem, popularity, friendships, faith, romantic relationships, sexuality, and dieting are just a few topics covered in this book. It’s a great read for parents with young daughters; especially pre-teen/teenage daughters.

[Marcus Silver · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. As a dad to my two amazing daughters, I found it both helpful and insightful. I don’t have all the answers when it comes to parenting, or knowing what to expect as my daughters reach different ages and stages of life—but my wife and I do our best every day.

The book places an emphasis on faith, but it does not single out any one religion, which I appreciated. None of us truly know what to expect during the teenage years, and that’s okay. Our job as parents is to support our kids, be there for them when they make mistakes, and celebrate their successes.

Like many parents, I sometimes wish time could stand still—but that’s not how life works. This book is a great reminder that we’re all learning as we go. Moms and dads, if you’re reading this book, you’re already doing a great job.

Highly recommend.

[Lori]

An EXCELLENT book. Every parent of a daughter must read! We do not believe in God but I still found allot of value in the Christian message about God when I come at it from our Buddhist perspective.

In response to the review above about American society being misogynist just look back at history and see who invented birth control, pads and tampons. Many more men lifted us up rather than gave us the boot. 75 to 100 years ago it was Impractical for women to leave the home to go and work. Stop blaming 40% of the population.

Seriously, stop what you are reading right now and buy this book and refer back to it over the course of you daughters childhood.

[José María Leal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well, I started to read Meg Meeker’s books for parenting purposes about last year, as a rookie dad with my first daughter I look to learn for different sources and take what works from me. This is my second book from Meg and I really enjoyed both of them.

Even that there ir a chapter dedicated to feminists, which ideas I don’t really share, most of the book share tips to raise my daughter through principles which are share by my culture and family like religion and holistic approaches.

For this kind of books I usually create a pocket summary’s to reach out when I need it.

Looking forward to next books!

[Charlotte · Rating 1 out of 5]

Oof. While I took some good away from this book, I was thoroughly disappointed. I couldn’t believe that a female doctor was writing this… particularly the chapter in feminism. Utter shock.

When it came to the whole God talk. I respect everyone’s beliefs so I’m able to read around it and work it into my own beliefs so I won’t get into that.

I also had a hard time believing her “interactions” with children. Some of the words that she claimed were coming out of a second graders mouth were too specific. I really needed this book to give me a lot more insight into raising a strong 4th and 1st grader. I’m just sad that I didn’t connect more with it.

[Valerie J K · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sixteen years ago when I had 2 young sons, I read Dr. Meeker's "Boys Should Be Boys: 7 Secrets to Raising Healthy Sons" and it gave me a life-changing perspective on how boys thrive. Now I have 2 girls at home and I was curious to hear Dr. Meeker's suggestions for them. The advice in this book was overall very good and backed by Dr. Meeker's experience as a pediatrician, but it felt more like common sense--perhaps because I'm a female with a better understanding of girls, or perhaps because I have 23 years of parenting under my belt. Many topics are covered including safety, security, damaging social media, friends, family, faith, feminism, and Christian values.

[Jessica Sellers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr Meeker does it again! I love reading and listening to her wisdom. She has a wealth of information all from experience. I have been telling the young and older girls in my life, “You were created by a loving God for a specific purpose.”

[Trina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, well-written, scientifically researched and backed, best practices for raising a happy, healthy, successful daughter.
I would HIGHLY recommend this to any parent of a daughter. I wish I’d had it to read 15 years ago!

[Rebecca Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Contained good nuggets of information and held my interest with coaching and patient stories. If anything it was reassurance to keep doing what your natural instincts tell you to do and build a strong foundation of faith within your daughter.

[Natalie Heskamp · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mom of 5 daughters, this was a really inspiring read. She does have lots of references to Judeo Christian beliefs, but I knew that was her background and expected her viewpoint. I also greatly appreciated her connections between mind, body and spirituality.

[Minoru Li · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great advice to raise a daughter from a highly knowledgeable person! Author has a strong faith in Christianity and she often discuss the importance of faith when raising a daughter and passing those values to her.

[Karen Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very interesting book with great information. The stories depicted the messages very well. I would recommend this book to parents for sure.
I have other books I am reading at the same time so it took me longer than if I was just reading one.

[Charise Jewell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought this book would have practical strategies. The “11 steps” can be summarized as:
1. Do everything you should do to be a good parent.
2. Believe in God.
The amount of references to God is surprising considering the cover highlights her medical expertise and does not mention religion.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good, practical, and relevant to today’s social pressures. I loved the guidance, advice, and medical background provided throughout this book!

[Reena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent