okay. ooooookay. the fact that this has 22 5-star ratings is fucking BEYOND me.
where the last jenna kent novella i read was laughably bad, this one was just plain bad. but at least it was all in one tense this time!! (it does seem like kent discovered semicolons directly prior to writing the novella, if the fact that they're placed in nearly every other sentence despite grammar rules is any indication.)
this book is just red flag after red flag, and the instalove pushes it all over the top. ava basically turns into alana's stalker within 24hrs of meeting her again (which: couldn't we have SOME differentiation between the names??? there were zero dialogue tags whatsoever, so i was already constantly trying to piece together who said what, then you throw similar names on top of that???).
i lost count of how many times ava threatens to kidnap alana (or her cat), calls herself a monster or stalker, or follows her to a new location, whether by foot or in her car. the morning after they hook up, ava follows alana (on an hour's drive!!) home because "the roads are still bad" and she wants to make sure alana "makes it back safely," and when they arrive at alana's home, ava proceeds to follow alana upstairs and nearly forces herself into alana's apartment. like!!! girl i'd be throwing punches and pulling some spy shit to get her off my tail!!!
kent has written ava to be sooooo manipulative and controlling and i was actively disturbed and uncomfortable the entire time reading. it all felt very "lesbians written by men" and i hated hated hated it. i felt bad for alana the whole time!! it felt like i was watching a friend get into a relationship with a toxic and abusive older man. a protective or possessive streak can be really hot when done right, but this was done so, soooooo wrong. i hate that i have to shelve this as wlw.
also, alana struggles with disordered eating and finds it near-impossible to eat in front of others. so, in response, ava force-feeds alana and threatens to kidnap her and her cat if she doesn't finish a meal. not really the supportive, encouraging partner you hope for when in ED recovery!!! but it's clearly depicted as romantic and as someone who's struggled with an ED, this was so fucking disgusting i can't even put it into words.
just. this is so bad, y'all!!!
there were a few laughably bad moments that kept me reading just to see what the fuck kent cooks up next. at one point ava bites alana's fupa and i actively ijbol-ed. ava bought a ring after about 2wks and alana said yes 2mo later. alana doesn't want ava to drive while stressed and emotional so, naturally, she gives ava a shot of liquor. the dirty talk was cringey and bad as always, and their DTR discussion started with ava yelling, "That's it! We need to talk NOW!" like what the fuck alskdfjlskd
the wildest bit, though was the very ending holy shit y'all. alana has such a fat, juicy ass that ava refuses to let her go to the bookstore alone (which is gross objectification). when alana insists on going (as she should!), ava and her best friend, jodie, decide to follow her around like bodyguards and jodie GRABS A LOADED GUN to presumably threaten anyone who??? looks at alana??? hits on her??? who knows!!! it's fucked either way!!!
this is not a romance. this is a hostage situation.
there was also this weird recurring bit where alana just blurts out whatever's on her mind with zero filter??? like she blurts out that she'll marry ava AFTER THE GUN/BOOKSTORE SITUATION and has a "oh no, not again!" moment before it alksjfkld like y'all i couldn't make this shit up!! bc someone already did!!
i cannot fathom giving this more than one star. can't even give the "two stars for experience" treatment that i gave zara. yikes. thank goodness i got this for stuff your kindle day bc i wouldn't want to spend even a single penny on it.
this is probably the messiest review i've ever written, but i was just so enraged after finishing the novella that i had to get this out there.