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I Know... #1
I Know What Love Is
This is not a love story.
A chance encounter in a dark bar changed my life forever. I'll never forget the events of that night and the days that followed. I'll never be the same. He tried to break me, but now I'm stronger than ever.
I want him to pay. I want him to suffer. I want to be just as much of a monster as he is.
But maybe, deep down... I want him just as much as he wants me. Maybe we deserve each other. Maybe he knows me better than I know myself.
Maybe.
But I know what love is, and this is not it.
Warning: This dark erotic tale contains violence, explicit sexuality, and adult situations. The content may be considered objectionable, so please read at your own discretion.
A chance encounter in a dark bar changed my life forever. I'll never forget the events of that night and the days that followed. I'll never be the same. He tried to break me, but now I'm stronger than ever.
I want him to pay. I want him to suffer. I want to be just as much of a monster as he is.
But maybe, deep down... I want him just as much as he wants me. Maybe we deserve each other. Maybe he knows me better than I know myself.
Maybe.
But I know what love is, and this is not it.
Warning: This dark erotic tale contains violence, explicit sexuality, and adult situations. The content may be considered objectionable, so please read at your own discretion.
216 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 19, 2014
407 people are currently reading
11322 people want to read
About the author
Whitney Bianca
5 books690 followersI originally started publishing in the dark erotica genre and I have branched out into M/M romance/erotica.
My latest M/M book, Golden Boys, will be available in July 2021.
I'm a true fan of LOVE, romance, and sexy times.
I love writing about power plays between two people, whether they're in love or in lust. I love the way people can communicate through sex. I love taking my characters to the edge and shoving them off.
If you like to take a walk on the dark side, you're my kind of person. Maybe we can be friends.
Shoot me an email: bia.whitney@gmail.com
Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...
My latest M/M book, Golden Boys, will be available in July 2021.
I'm a true fan of LOVE, romance, and sexy times.
I love writing about power plays between two people, whether they're in love or in lust. I love the way people can communicate through sex. I love taking my characters to the edge and shoving them off.
If you like to take a walk on the dark side, you're my kind of person. Maybe we can be friends.
Shoot me an email: bia.whitney@gmail.com
Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 712 reviews
February 7, 2022
*to anyone who loved that: keep scrolling, guys, nothing interesting here*👩🦯
👹TW👹: 1) spoilers; 2) me exposing what a toxic human being I am; 3) some thoughts put into the review don’t sound fucking horrible. At all.
If there is anything I know for sure now, it’s that I have one particular preference when it comes to any kind of romance I read:
— it shouldn’t begin with a hero raping a heroine in a bar’s bathroom and then abducting her in order to rape her some more.
Am I interested in reading about the guy who gets off on raping a woman, punching, slapping and hitting her? Causing her pain in general? Call me a capricious bitch, but I am not. The hero in this book reminded me too much of real-life rapists (in that sense, the book did a very good job of portraying him realistically), and I find nothing remotely sexy about them.
I wonder how the heroine didn’t get a concussion from his rough treatment. 🌚
On second thought, she probably did. That would have explained a lot about the events that took place after this piece of shit of a hero had abducted her.
Now looking at my bookshelves that feature dozens of books with seriously messed up themes (including but not limited to rape, dub-con scenes, murders, emotional/psychical abuse) that I loved, anyone may reasonably say: what the actual fuck, Irunía? I wouldn't peg you as someone who condemns rape in fiction. 🤔
And they would be right. 🤚🏻
That being said, there is a difference between someone who crosses certain lines and a blatant rapist who enjoys hearing a woman’s cries and gasps of pain that I'd like to point out.
This is the 2nd book I’ve come across that features a hero who genuinely enjoyed raping. Just saying. 🌚🤚🏻
The whole book basically consists of rape, rape, some more rape just to make sure we all get the memo (I'm making an assumption here) and then… average consensual sex scenes?
For instance, rather than reading the unnecessarily detailed scenes of the heroine's fuck fests with random men, I'd have preferred to know more details about the hero's prison break (I suddenly realized just how much I'd been missing Prison Break series 😂).
I craved to read about anything that didn't involve Joan (h) masturbating to the memories of Elliot (H) raping her (I kid you not 😂) or her fucking other men to get revenge on him (I had no idea that whoring around could be dressed up so nicely).
I would have chosen pure erotica if I wanted to read about the incessant fucking.
Can you believe that the one and only meaningful conversation between Elliot and Joan took place in the last 10% of the book. I use the adjective “meaningful” loosely here since in the context of this particular story anything that is not sex-related looks like a major breakthrough. Rocket science.
Did I hate Elliot? If I am being perfectly honest, his "villainous" persona lacked even a sliver of charisma that normally makes up for any vices and irredeemable qualities of the main character.
The only feeling that Elliot managed to summon in me was pure disgust. The lad was such an uninspiring loser that I do not even have the desire to waste my time discussing his rapist ass.
That being said, I can see the appeal Elliot might have for some readers. After all, a faithful, devoted, almost totally whipped rapist is a gem hard to find in these difficult times. *sarcasm is slowly dripping down this page*
I simply cannot help including the following beautiful quote that pretty much sums up why I ended up being exasperated by the story and its protagonists:
You would think a man felt elated and powerful because he must have taken over the rival’s company/become a CEO or, at the very least, helped an elderly lady cross the road?
Nah, guys, that's what he thought right after raping this helpless woman Joan. Again. 💘
…because the most logical thing one can expect when they manage to abduct and repeatedly assault the girl they're attracted to is the beginning of their very own beautiful love story.
I can't take this delusional shit seriously y’all. 😂🤚🏻
The rapey king confessed his undying love two days after their so-called first "date" on which he raped Joan.
I never would have imagined that the author would dare to drop insta-love into this messy soup of repetitive sexual assault and absurdism.
The way Elliot screamed like a hysterical bitch when Joan didn't appreciate his love confession and told himto kindly fuck off how much she hated his guts?
🤚🏻M E R C Y O N M E🤚🏻
Though, I gotta admit that we, Elliot and I, have one thing in common. Just like Elliot wanted the rape to be the beginning of something really good, I sincerely wanted the book to be the beginning of something really good too.
✨We both were totally d e l u s i o n a l✨
Even in the epitome of everything crazy and whacky in romance that represent books of the ’70s and ’80s, the authors didn't romanticize and glorify rape (realistic rape, that is) in such a blatant, disturbing way.
In vintage harlequins, rape was mostly used as a way to show how obsessed the hero was with the heroine, which didn't justify such a course of action but at least didn’t make me want to vomit all over my mobile. 😌
But if by any chance you think that Elliot is the worst thing that could happen to this book, you might want not to jump to conclusions just yet and meet our female leading character first.
I swear if bad choice had a personification, it would carry the name of Joan Vasquez. Punto. 💁♀️
I didn’t like the girl from the start.
Slutty heroines are just not my thing. When in the very beginning she basically told us that she wouldn’t mind fucking a married barman had he expressed a spark of interest in her? 🌚🤚🏻
Joan, sweetie, I do not know about others, but you failed to convince me that you're a sensible, compassionate human being. The author claimed that she felt remorse because of the fact that she didn't go to the police and remained silent about her molester. One second she thinks about how her silence could result in more girls being raped and abused (she didn't know whether she was the only victim of his or he raped women on a regular basis) and feels sorry, but literally the next she starts masturbating to the memories of Elliot forcing her to have sex with him and relishing the moment of being used and abused as his personal sex doll?
Give me a fucking break, will you.
But the author clearly believes that the romanticization of rape can never get old so she went even further and
emphasized that our sweet Joan couldn't enjoy sex with other men anymore. They all were too “gentlemanly”. 🥲
The idea that permeates the story, namely that a woman is able to enjoy rape by some random sick creep (like Elliot), is:
1) unrealistic
2) HARMFUL BULLSHIT.
The book has neither romantic development nor a coherent plot. Like I've already mentioned, the main characters didn't even have a single meaningful conversation to become attached the way they did.
A bond based on shared interests/traumas/views/hobbies? — Outdated, stale, banal. 🤚🏻
A bond based on rape? — Up-to-date, creative, original, daring, touching.
Also, not another heroine who exerted revenge on the hero/rapist by fucking random men and sending the nude photos to him while he was in prison? 💀
I can only imagine the reaction she anticipated sending them. I bet the real-life Elliot would have appreciated her thoughtful effort to keep him entertained. But of course, Elliot was all heartbroken and jealous. 😌
Anyway, if that shit makes Joan "dark and vengeful", I guess there is something wrong with my comprehension of the concept. 🔪 Promiscuous behavior doesn't necessarily turn you into a certified badass woman, or so I believe.
What a cheesy ending. 🤡
God, save me from ever coming across such a strange mix of unrealistic, boring, fluffy and pseudo-dark shit that romanticizes rapists (who obviously have the potential to give a girl the max number of orgasms. Sure thing).
Seriously. Fuck this.
For. Five. Days I've been acting like a dumbass who can't dnf a book even if it bites her in the ass, fries her brain and sucks the willpower to live out of her. 🤒
THE SATISFACTION I FEEL RATING THIS TRASH 1 STAR?
I hate and despise this book. Oh my god, you can't even imagine the pain I went through while reading it. 💀😂🤡
P. S. Flashbacks have been haunting me because Take Me with You and this book were pretty similar in terms of plot and characters. Same rapists, same dumb girls who lust after them.
👹TW👹: 1) spoilers; 2) me exposing what a toxic human being I am; 3) some thoughts put into the review don’t sound fucking horrible. At all.
If there is anything I know for sure now, it’s that I have one particular preference when it comes to any kind of romance I read:
— it shouldn’t begin with a hero raping a heroine in a bar’s bathroom and then abducting her in order to rape her some more.
It still hurt like a bitch and I slapped her, hard, in punishment. I heard her gasp of pain, and it sent a shiver of lust through me. If I could hear that sound for the rest of my life, I could die a happy man.
Am I interested in reading about the guy who gets off on raping a woman, punching, slapping and hitting her? Causing her pain in general? Call me a capricious bitch, but I am not. The hero in this book reminded me too much of real-life rapists (in that sense, the book did a very good job of portraying him realistically), and I find nothing remotely sexy about them.
Black dots danced in front of my vision again, as his big hand cut off my oxygen. I welcomed unconsciousness, but again, I wasn't so lucky. When he saw my head start to droop, he released me so quickly the world tilted on its axis.
I wonder how the heroine didn’t get a concussion from his rough treatment. 🌚
On second thought, she probably did. That would have explained a lot about the events that took place after this piece of shit of a hero had abducted her.
Now looking at my bookshelves that feature dozens of books with seriously messed up themes (including but not limited to rape, dub-con scenes, murders, emotional/psychical abuse) that I loved, anyone may reasonably say: what the actual fuck, Irunía? I wouldn't peg you as someone who condemns rape in fiction. 🤔
And they would be right. 🤚🏻
That being said, there is a difference between someone who crosses certain lines and a blatant rapist who enjoys hearing a woman’s cries and gasps of pain that I'd like to point out.
This is the 2nd book I’ve come across that features a hero who genuinely enjoyed raping. Just saying. 🌚🤚🏻
I still love to hear her scream. There's just something about the way her mouth opens and her eyes go wide. She's so beautiful when she's terrified.
The whole book basically consists of rape, rape, some more rape just to make sure we all get the memo (I'm making an assumption here) and then… average consensual sex scenes?
For instance, rather than reading the unnecessarily detailed scenes of the heroine's fuck fests with random men, I'd have preferred to know more details about the hero's prison break (I suddenly realized just how much I'd been missing Prison Break series 😂).
I craved to read about anything that didn't involve Joan (h) masturbating to the memories of Elliot (H) raping her (I kid you not 😂) or her fucking other men to get revenge on him (I had no idea that whoring around could be dressed up so nicely).
I would have chosen pure erotica if I wanted to read about the incessant fucking.
Can you believe that the one and only meaningful conversation between Elliot and Joan took place in the last 10% of the book. I use the adjective “meaningful” loosely here since in the context of this particular story anything that is not sex-related looks like a major breakthrough. Rocket science.
Did I hate Elliot? If I am being perfectly honest, his "villainous" persona lacked even a sliver of charisma that normally makes up for any vices and irredeemable qualities of the main character.
The only feeling that Elliot managed to summon in me was pure disgust. The lad was such an uninspiring loser that I do not even have the desire to waste my time discussing his rapist ass.
That being said, I can see the appeal Elliot might have for some readers. After all, a faithful, devoted, almost totally whipped rapist is a gem hard to find in these difficult times. *sarcasm is slowly dripping down this page*
I simply cannot help including the following beautiful quote that pretty much sums up why I ended up being exasperated by the story and its protagonists:
Hot liquid warmth reared up in me. I basked in the glow of my strength. Of my prowess. Of my power. I'd never, ever felt so powerful in my whole life.
You would think a man felt elated and powerful because he must have taken over the rival’s company/become a CEO or, at the very least, helped an elderly lady cross the road?
Nah, guys, that's what he thought right after raping this helpless woman Joan. Again. 💘
I wanted that night to be the beginning of something really good.
…because the most logical thing one can expect when they manage to abduct and repeatedly assault the girl they're attracted to is the beginning of their very own beautiful love story.
I can't take this delusional shit seriously y’all. 😂🤚🏻
The rapey king confessed his undying love two days after their so-called first "date" on which he raped Joan.
I never would have imagined that the author would dare to drop insta-love into this messy soup of repetitive sexual assault and absurdism.
The way Elliot screamed like a hysterical bitch when Joan didn't appreciate his love confession and told him
🤚🏻M E R C Y O N M E🤚🏻
Though, I gotta admit that we, Elliot and I, have one thing in common. Just like Elliot wanted the rape to be the beginning of something really good, I sincerely wanted the book to be the beginning of something really good too.
✨We both were totally d e l u s i o n a l✨
Even in the epitome of everything crazy and whacky in romance that represent books of the ’70s and ’80s, the authors didn't romanticize and glorify rape (realistic rape, that is) in such a blatant, disturbing way.
In vintage harlequins, rape was mostly used as a way to show how obsessed the hero was with the heroine, which didn't justify such a course of action but at least didn’t make me want to vomit all over my mobile. 😌
But if by any chance you think that Elliot is the worst thing that could happen to this book, you might want not to jump to conclusions just yet and meet our female leading character first.
I swear if bad choice had a personification, it would carry the name of Joan Vasquez. Punto. 💁♀️
I didn’t like the girl from the start.
Slutty heroines are just not my thing. When in the very beginning she basically told us that she wouldn’t mind fucking a married barman had he expressed a spark of interest in her? 🌚🤚🏻
Joan, sweetie, I do not know about others, but you failed to convince me that you're a sensible, compassionate human being. The author claimed that she felt remorse because of the fact that she didn't go to the police and remained silent about her molester. One second she thinks about how her silence could result in more girls being raped and abused (she didn't know whether she was the only victim of his or he raped women on a regular basis) and feels sorry, but literally the next she starts masturbating to the memories of Elliot forcing her to have sex with him and relishing the moment of being used and abused as his personal sex doll?
Give me a fucking break, will you.
But the author clearly believes that the romanticization of rape can never get old so she went even further and
emphasized that our sweet Joan couldn't enjoy sex with other men anymore. They all were too “gentlemanly”. 🥲
The idea that permeates the story, namely that a woman is able to enjoy rape by some random sick creep (like Elliot), is:
1) unrealistic
2) HARMFUL BULLSHIT.
The book has neither romantic development nor a coherent plot. Like I've already mentioned, the main characters didn't even have a single meaningful conversation to become attached the way they did.
A bond based on shared interests/traumas/views/hobbies? — Outdated, stale, banal. 🤚🏻
A bond based on rape? — Up-to-date, creative, original, daring, touching.
Also, not another heroine who exerted revenge on the hero/rapist by fucking random men and sending the nude photos to him while he was in prison? 💀
I can only imagine the reaction she anticipated sending them. I bet the real-life Elliot would have appreciated her thoughtful effort to keep him entertained. But of course, Elliot was all heartbroken and jealous. 😌
Anyway, if that shit makes Joan "dark and vengeful", I guess there is something wrong with my comprehension of the concept. 🔪 Promiscuous behavior doesn't necessarily turn you into a certified badass woman, or so I believe.
“You're mine,” he repeated, as he shuddered against me. “Say it.”
“I'm yours,” I breathed, knowing it was true as soon as the words left my mouth. I was Elliot's, whether I wanted to be or not. He had forced himself into my brain, my molecules, and had changed me irrevocably. The girl that I had been before he'd come into my life was officially dead.
“Forever and ever,” he whispered.
“Forever and ever,”
What a cheesy ending. 🤡
God, save me from ever coming across such a strange mix of unrealistic, boring, fluffy and pseudo-dark shit that romanticizes rapists (who obviously have the potential to give a girl the max number of orgasms. Sure thing).
Seriously. Fuck this.
For. Five. Days I've been acting like a dumbass who can't dnf a book even if it bites her in the ass, fries her brain and sucks the willpower to live out of her. 🤒
THE SATISFACTION I FEEL RATING THIS TRASH 1 STAR?
I hate and despise this book. Oh my god, you can't even imagine the pain I went through while reading it. 💀😂🤡
P. S. Flashbacks have been haunting me because Take Me with You and this book were pretty similar in terms of plot and characters. Same rapists, same dumb girls who lust after them.
October 24, 2022
❛Her knees shake, but I've got her.
She won't fall.
She arches her back, the low light through the trees accentuating every muscle of her back, every bone of her spine, every inch of silky skin. God, I love her so much. I didn't think it was possible to love someone as much as I love Joanie. She has all of my goddamn soul.❜
joan and elliot—this duet—fucked and fucked with my brain chemistry in ways that, i fear, can never, ever, be undone ˘͈ᵕ˘͈
i know… :
#1: i know what love is ↠ 5 stars!
#2: love is strange ↠ 5 stars!
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☽ third read ➟ May, 2021
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☽ second read ➟ Nov, 2020
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☽ first read ➟ March, 2019
❛She moans at the back of her throat, the sound dripping like honey down my spine.
I scarred her for life and it feels damn good. It won't be the last time, I think with a smile. I rub my rough cheek against her softness, then press a kiss to the valley of her breasts. When I glance up, she's looking at me, her eyes heavy-lidded from sleep.
All I want is to be close to her. I want to crawl under her skin. I want to embed myself in her.❜
trigger warning: kidnapping，murder，rape，violence…
February 10, 2017
2 "Way too dark for me" Stars
Oh wow! This books has made it to my "Top 10 most weird books of the year" list, The story was neither good nor bad but somewhere in between. Don't get me wrong i love possessive Alpha males/ Stalkers but Elliot was too much for me, when i think of him i see Ramsay Bolton, he's a freaking maniac i didn't really hate him but i didn't like him either. it was like a car accident that I just couldn't look away from.
This was my first review when i read the book for the first time but after re-reading it i completely changed my mind and the "way too dark for me" became is that all you got? Meh, i have read so many books about *fictional*sociopaths that Elliot became a kitten to me.
Oh wow! This books has made it to my "Top 10 most weird books of the year" list, The story was neither good nor bad but somewhere in between. Don't get me wrong i love possessive Alpha males/ Stalkers but Elliot was too much for me, when i think of him i see Ramsay Bolton, he's a freaking maniac i didn't really hate him but i didn't like him either. it was like a car accident that I just couldn't look away from.
This was my first review when i read the book for the first time but after re-reading it i completely changed my mind and the "way too dark for me" became is that all you got? Meh, i have read so many books about *fictional*sociopaths that Elliot became a kitten to me.
December 17, 2023
2.5 stars
this review is about to be one big pile of hypocrisy. Just calling myself out before any of you do.
It took me a long while to understand why I couldn't get into this debut when I found books like Untouchable, Comfort Food, Pennies pretty enjoyable.
Then it hit me...It's a kidnapping book
No that's not the problem. The problem is it's a heavily ROMANTACISED kidnapping book. This was plain as day trying to depict a love story, albeit a really toxic, fucked up, psychotic, whatever you wonna call it, love story. Which killed my entire experience (I warned you this will be hypocrisy land. Don't look at me like that).
A) I couldn't for the life of me relate to the heroine. Joan had a massive case of betraying body syndrome and I wanted to slap her.
The hero: rapes her, kidnaps her, rapes her again, physically harms her, rapes some more, and then rapes her one more time for good measure
The heroine the next day:
She didn't only knock it out of him but herself too.
HOW??? How does that even happen? I'm genuinely curious how your body "betrays you" when you claim to be so repulsed. Unless the heroine somewhere subconsciously did desire him. In that case there was zero understanding on my part, maybe I would have had the hero been different. This is where I begin my next point...
B) Elliot disgusted me, it wasn't even so much his actions (god knows I've read heroes who've done worse than him) but just him as a person in general.
He reminded me too much of real life rapists, I know that may sound odd. I watch a lot of criminal documentaries about serial rapists, killers and kidnappers. Obviously, when I see them I don't feel any attraction or much fascination either to be honest, all I feel is pity, because they are unmistakably pathetic. That's also how I feel about Elliot. He was a pathetic man who got off on hurting those weaker than him because he was a weakling himself🤷♀️
Had he not become so obsessed with Joan, I am positive he would stand to become a serial rapist.
He had no charm or charisma that would at least make him interesting. He was simply a sleazy rapist just like his prison buddy.
C) Even though I knew this would turn out into a full blown romance by the end of this, I still held some hope. Mainly because Joan developed a little vengeful obsession with Elliot.
She would talk about her desire to see him in a cage, for him to be miserable, to die
But the next second she would revert back to breaking into his house, smelling his clothes, lusting after him and bla bla bla.
I know what the author was trying to do. I see that this is the way her obsession was supposed to be portrayed and it was interesting, I'll admit, but also inconsistent and extremely annoying. The main reason is because by the end, her idea of revenge was putting him in jail and sending pics of herself fucking other men. Which is....I mean great, good for you but why do this and then BREAK HIM OUT?? I was waiting for her to ruin him, kill him, do something to make him pay for everything he has done to her, I was hoping so badly that this wouldn't end as a fucking love story. But it did.
And as a love story with a disgusting hero and an unrelatable heroine, I couldn't enjoy it.
Now if this was an erotic thriller with a story of kidnapping, obsession, maybe Stockholm syndrome and revenge. Now that would've been excellent.
D) The time jumps were done really poorly. You'll turn a page and 2 years have passed, then another 3 and it didn't feel like it at all. Every time I would forget that it's been years until she mentions it and I have to blink the shock away for a second. A novel spanning 5 years felt like a couple of weeks.
E) I ranted about this already and I'll do it again. The ending can honestly suck my dick.
Who is more delusional: me or the author💀
F) we never found out what happened to Elliot's cat.
What I liked: Elliot's cat and when she stabbed him (or when she would get all hateful about him). Should've killed him but I guess she can't help that betraying body of hers😐🙄
this review is about to be one big pile of hypocrisy. Just calling myself out before any of you do.
It took me a long while to understand why I couldn't get into this debut when I found books like Untouchable, Comfort Food, Pennies pretty enjoyable.
Then it hit me...It's a kidnapping book
No that's not the problem. The problem is it's a heavily ROMANTACISED kidnapping book. This was plain as day trying to depict a love story, albeit a really toxic, fucked up, psychotic, whatever you wonna call it, love story. Which killed my entire experience (I warned you this will be hypocrisy land. Don't look at me like that).
A) I couldn't for the life of me relate to the heroine. Joan had a massive case of betraying body syndrome and I wanted to slap her.
The hero: rapes her, kidnaps her, rapes her again, physically harms her, rapes some more, and then rapes her one more time for good measure
The heroine the next day:
She didn't only knock it out of him but herself too.
HOW??? How does that even happen? I'm genuinely curious how your body "betrays you" when you claim to be so repulsed. Unless the heroine somewhere subconsciously did desire him. In that case there was zero understanding on my part, maybe I would have had the hero been different. This is where I begin my next point...
B) Elliot disgusted me, it wasn't even so much his actions (god knows I've read heroes who've done worse than him) but just him as a person in general.
He reminded me too much of real life rapists, I know that may sound odd. I watch a lot of criminal documentaries about serial rapists, killers and kidnappers. Obviously, when I see them I don't feel any attraction or much fascination either to be honest, all I feel is pity, because they are unmistakably pathetic. That's also how I feel about Elliot. He was a pathetic man who got off on hurting those weaker than him because he was a weakling himself🤷♀️
Had he not become so obsessed with Joan, I am positive he would stand to become a serial rapist.
He had no charm or charisma that would at least make him interesting. He was simply a sleazy rapist just like his prison buddy.
C) Even though I knew this would turn out into a full blown romance by the end of this, I still held some hope. Mainly because Joan developed a little vengeful obsession with Elliot.
I was in control now.
I felt a smile curl over my lips, even as my tears continued to fall.
I was going to make him suffer and I was going to love every minute of it.
She would talk about her desire to see him in a cage, for him to be miserable, to die
But the next second she would revert back to breaking into his house, smelling his clothes, lusting after him and bla bla bla.
I know what the author was trying to do. I see that this is the way her obsession was supposed to be portrayed and it was interesting, I'll admit, but also inconsistent and extremely annoying. The main reason is because by the end, her idea of revenge was putting him in jail and sending pics of herself fucking other men. Which is....I mean great, good for you but why do this and then BREAK HIM OUT?? I was waiting for her to ruin him, kill him, do something to make him pay for everything he has done to her, I was hoping so badly that this wouldn't end as a fucking love story. But it did.
And as a love story with a disgusting hero and an unrelatable heroine, I couldn't enjoy it.
Now if this was an erotic thriller with a story of kidnapping, obsession, maybe Stockholm syndrome and revenge. Now that would've been excellent.
D) The time jumps were done really poorly. You'll turn a page and 2 years have passed, then another 3 and it didn't feel like it at all. Every time I would forget that it's been years until she mentions it and I have to blink the shock away for a second. A novel spanning 5 years felt like a couple of weeks.
E) I ranted about this already and I'll do it again. The ending can honestly suck my dick.
This is what she does to me. The love of a good woman can change everything. I know it. I'm proof of it.
Who is more delusional: me or the author💀
F) we never found out what happened to Elliot's cat.
What I liked: Elliot's cat and when she stabbed him (or when she would get all hateful about him). Should've killed him but I guess she can't help that betraying body of hers😐🙄
May 12, 2021
The title is a disguise of this book, it is actually a holy-fuck-my-morals-are-tarnished kind of book. This book has toxicity galore, the characters are not merely obsession, I think their minds are what humans really feel but is hidden in one dark corner of the mind which we fear to show because otherwise people will call you insane. I thought I started a book with no romance and the author said this book has no romance but can you name this toxicity a romance? To dark romance readers, this story is an unique gem, this book won't make you sweat by rethink your morals.
Joan and Elliot were typical normal people with normal activities of life. They change or they are what they are when they meet; very different from normal people. On a normal day Joan was out having fun and looking out for a quick lay, which suddenly turns drastic when she was raped in the washroom. Her rapist was also her obsessed stalker, who was lucky to find his victim alone that day. Elliot thought after fucking Joan his obsession for her was over, but after he left her and found her walking down the street hunched and alone once again he realised he cannot let her go. He keeps her captive but she manages to run away. Two years later Joan tries to move on. She has a steady relationship and is about to marry but there is a niggling inch she cannot seem to scratch - her time spent with the rapist; she goes back to search for him starting something they unknowingly wanted.
'He knows the dirty parts, the ugly parts, the crazy parts, because he's bred and fostered them in me. And he loves me anyway.
I also know all of his bad parts. I know what to expect. I don't fear him anymore.
In a lot of ways, I'm his mirror, and he's mine.'
"Elliot has that maniac glint..." these words gets me everytime. Elliot is a construction worker, he is large and women fall for his looks. He is a crazy sociopath, he cannot overlook or think beyond loving, obsessing or fucking Joan. Joan has been his captive and slave, but for all intents and purpose she helps him escape jail and keeps him hidden. Elliot never fears getting caught, his crimes are mostly done in the open. He rapes her in the club bathroom, drags her to his house, stabs her fianće in her house leaving proofs which could be easily identified. In the end he ends up in jail. What's interesting, Joan plays the victim role, yes she is mad and wants Elliot to suffer for raping her. To the world they are rapist and victim but both have a secret which they share only - Joan craves Eliot as much as he craves her.
I wonder who is crazy and unstable more, Elliot or Joan?
Joan and Elliot were typical normal people with normal activities of life. They change or they are what they are when they meet; very different from normal people. On a normal day Joan was out having fun and looking out for a quick lay, which suddenly turns drastic when she was raped in the washroom. Her rapist was also her obsessed stalker, who was lucky to find his victim alone that day. Elliot thought after fucking Joan his obsession for her was over, but after he left her and found her walking down the street hunched and alone once again he realised he cannot let her go. He keeps her captive but she manages to run away. Two years later Joan tries to move on. She has a steady relationship and is about to marry but there is a niggling inch she cannot seem to scratch - her time spent with the rapist; she goes back to search for him starting something they unknowingly wanted.
'He knows the dirty parts, the ugly parts, the crazy parts, because he's bred and fostered them in me. And he loves me anyway.
I also know all of his bad parts. I know what to expect. I don't fear him anymore.
In a lot of ways, I'm his mirror, and he's mine.'
"Elliot has that maniac glint..." these words gets me everytime. Elliot is a construction worker, he is large and women fall for his looks. He is a crazy sociopath, he cannot overlook or think beyond loving, obsessing or fucking Joan. Joan has been his captive and slave, but for all intents and purpose she helps him escape jail and keeps him hidden. Elliot never fears getting caught, his crimes are mostly done in the open. He rapes her in the club bathroom, drags her to his house, stabs her fianće in her house leaving proofs which could be easily identified. In the end he ends up in jail. What's interesting, Joan plays the victim role, yes she is mad and wants Elliot to suffer for raping her. To the world they are rapist and victim but both have a secret which they share only - Joan craves Eliot as much as he craves her.
I wonder who is crazy and unstable more, Elliot or Joan?
September 26, 2014
Elliot
He's crazy
Joan
She's crazy
Lets just say those two psychos are perfect for each other...
I mean really..
He's crazy
Joan
She's crazy
Lets just say those two psychos are perfect for each other...
I mean really..
April 3, 2024
It’s not true obsession if he doesn’t beat yo ass up and rape you *swoon sigh* 😌
January 1, 2015
Holy Shit!!
Right, so there are dark books,even darker and then there's is this which is down there in the pits of hell and I BLOODY LOVED IT
There are a lot of books about kidnapping,rape, Stockholm Syndrome out there, some good, some not so good....
This book has kidnapping,multiple rape scenes and a f****d up case of Stockholm Syndrome but that's where the similarity ends in my opinion
Told over a period of years, this is not just a car crash of a read but a multiple car pile up
Personally, I cannot wait for the next one, if my poor heart can take it
I would say, the term 'not for the faint hearted ' is used a lot and in this case it TOTALLY applies !!
Right, so there are dark books,even darker and then there's is this which is down there in the pits of hell and I BLOODY LOVED IT
There are a lot of books about kidnapping,rape, Stockholm Syndrome out there, some good, some not so good....
This book has kidnapping,multiple rape scenes and a f****d up case of Stockholm Syndrome but that's where the similarity ends in my opinion
Told over a period of years, this is not just a car crash of a read but a multiple car pile up
Personally, I cannot wait for the next one, if my poor heart can take it
I would say, the term 'not for the faint hearted ' is used a lot and in this case it TOTALLY applies !!
September 1, 2016
4 - messing with my conscience - Stars
Faaaaark. Did I really enjoy this book? I couldn't have enjoyed it because the guts of this story is far too disturbingly wrong for me to enjoy. My moral sense keep telling me that it is wrong to enjoy this kind of story, but as much as I try to deny any enjoyment of this book; I just can't. *hangs own head in disgusted shame*
The beginning of the MC's messed up love story was brutal and horrifying, yet I couldn't pry my eyes away at the mess. Then as I started to realise just how crazy deranged the H is, this messed up romance/obsession/mentalness starts to bloody fester and normalise in my head and I had to keep telling myself: "No Jewels, this is not cool! Stop rooting for them to be together!". Then the h started to get on my nerves halfway through the story and I suddenly realised I was watching her slowly go insane too! But seriously, not as insane as the H....
I just want/need to put it out there that I'm am absolutely and categorically against rape, kidnapping or any violence of that nature because I believe by doing so; I can at least cement my morals and wash away the guilt of romanticising and hoping that these effed up MC's get their HEA together. I think the h felt the same warring guilt within herself for enjoying what the H was doing to her (like her mind said no, but her body said yes).
"It felt nasty and dirty and wrong and good and bad, all at the same time."
I guess my enjoyment for this story reminded me of that famous Hades and Persephone mythology where Hades loved Persephone so much, he stole her from her mother and forced her to be with him until she loved him back and making her queen of the underworld, all whilst staying devoted and true to her (very unlike all the other philandering gods like Zeus etc) Sigh.... In my sick mind, there's something to be said about the twisted and deranged romance in a devoted, crazy psycho as opposed to a sweet talking, cheating manwhore and I know it's far from acceptable in the real world, but godammit, I really enjoyed this story nonetheless!!! There, I said it again!! *cringes with more self shame*
Recommended to those who can stomach violent rape scenes. I'm a self proclaimed sissy when it comes to dark romances in general but for some really embarrassing reason; I read through the horror and obviously liked it, so I will just state that those who were fans of the Dark Duet series and Stockholm syndrome reads, should be able to get through this. For a debut book, this author really did well.
Ok I've rambled enough. This story is told brilliantly in dual POV (the majority of it through the h's). The first 50% of this book hooked my devoted attention and the last 50% (while still good) didn't really engross me as much - maybe because the shock factor faded away and I started desensitising to the messed up situation. This story is the first part of a two part series and should be read in order. The ending wasn't a heart wrenching cliffhanger. It left me at peace with the current situation but with no closure to the MC's future so I'll be jumping onto book 2 very soon!
Faaaaark. Did I really enjoy this book? I couldn't have enjoyed it because the guts of this story is far too disturbingly wrong for me to enjoy. My moral sense keep telling me that it is wrong to enjoy this kind of story, but as much as I try to deny any enjoyment of this book; I just can't. *hangs own head in disgusted shame*
The beginning of the MC's messed up love story was brutal and horrifying, yet I couldn't pry my eyes away at the mess. Then as I started to realise just how crazy deranged the H is, this messed up romance/obsession/mentalness starts to bloody fester and normalise in my head and I had to keep telling myself: "No Jewels, this is not cool! Stop rooting for them to be together!". Then the h started to get on my nerves halfway through the story and I suddenly realised I was watching her slowly go insane too! But seriously, not as insane as the H....
I just want/need to put it out there that I'm am absolutely and categorically against rape, kidnapping or any violence of that nature because I believe by doing so; I can at least cement my morals and wash away the guilt of romanticising and hoping that these effed up MC's get their HEA together. I think the h felt the same warring guilt within herself for enjoying what the H was doing to her (like her mind said no, but her body said yes).
"It felt nasty and dirty and wrong and good and bad, all at the same time."
I guess my enjoyment for this story reminded me of that famous Hades and Persephone mythology where Hades loved Persephone so much, he stole her from her mother and forced her to be with him until she loved him back and making her queen of the underworld, all whilst staying devoted and true to her (very unlike all the other philandering gods like Zeus etc) Sigh.... In my sick mind, there's something to be said about the twisted and deranged romance in a devoted, crazy psycho as opposed to a sweet talking, cheating manwhore and I know it's far from acceptable in the real world, but godammit, I really enjoyed this story nonetheless!!! There, I said it again!! *cringes with more self shame*
Recommended to those who can stomach violent rape scenes. I'm a self proclaimed sissy when it comes to dark romances in general but for some really embarrassing reason; I read through the horror and obviously liked it, so I will just state that those who were fans of the Dark Duet series and Stockholm syndrome reads, should be able to get through this. For a debut book, this author really did well.
Ok I've rambled enough. This story is told brilliantly in dual POV (the majority of it through the h's). The first 50% of this book hooked my devoted attention and the last 50% (while still good) didn't really engross me as much - maybe because the shock factor faded away and I started desensitising to the messed up situation. This story is the first part of a two part series and should be read in order. The ending wasn't a heart wrenching cliffhanger. It left me at peace with the current situation but with no closure to the MC's future so I'll be jumping onto book 2 very soon!
March 10, 2017
2.5 Creepy Stars
You must have a steel heart to get through this story, sorry my heart! This book is full of rape. It was disgusting and frustrating. I don’t know even how call him hero! The H was a rapist who raped the h repeatedly. At first h hated him and fought with him and saved herself but then everything changed! I don’t know why! One minute she told herself I hate him and I want him to suffer and one minute later she craves his touch!! I don’t understand how a girl can love or even like her rapist!?! For forget him she began having sex with other men, for God’s sake!! Even she saved him from prison! Come ON!! Seriously!! I wanted to lost-interested it but then I thought maybe she changes her mind and she has some bad plans for him but nope, not happening! I really hated both characters!
You must have a steel heart to get through this story, sorry my heart! This book is full of rape. It was disgusting and frustrating. I don’t know even how call him hero! The H was a rapist who raped the h repeatedly. At first h hated him and fought with him and saved herself but then everything changed! I don’t know why! One minute she told herself I hate him and I want him to suffer and one minute later she craves his touch!! I don’t understand how a girl can love or even like her rapist!?! For forget him she began having sex with other men, for God’s sake!! Even she saved him from prison! Come ON!! Seriously!! I wanted to lost-interested it but then I thought maybe she changes her mind and she has some bad plans for him but nope, not happening! I really hated both characters!
April 11, 2015
"He was a murderer and a rapist. He was crazy and unstable and wanted to possess me, body and soul, but when he made love to me, I couldn't stop myself from wanting it. He'd taken everything from me and I was messed up enough to keep giving him more. I was drowning in him."
4.5 Crazy as Fuck Stars!!
What. The. Fuck. This book was utterly maddening and completely insane. Devoured it in a day and I just couldn't put it down. The MCs were plain bat shit crazy and mentally fucked up that I'm afraid I might have lost my sanity too. I've read quite a handful of dark books but I have never came across with anything like this one before. And to top it off, my twisted heart loved every bit of it.
I can't believe this is a debut novel of Whitney Bianca who's a new author to me. She's very talented and writes like a pro! I really look forward to reading the next book, I need more of Joan and Elliot!
To lovers of dark disturbing books that have crazy as fuck characters and a handful scenes of rough & dirty sex, no doubt you'll enjoy this one.
4.5 Crazy as Fuck Stars!!
What. The. Fuck. This book was utterly maddening and completely insane. Devoured it in a day and I just couldn't put it down. The MCs were plain bat shit crazy and mentally fucked up that I'm afraid I might have lost my sanity too. I've read quite a handful of dark books but I have never came across with anything like this one before. And to top it off, my twisted heart loved every bit of it.
I can't believe this is a debut novel of Whitney Bianca who's a new author to me. She's very talented and writes like a pro! I really look forward to reading the next book, I need more of Joan and Elliot!
To lovers of dark disturbing books that have crazy as fuck characters and a handful scenes of rough & dirty sex, no doubt you'll enjoy this one.
April 20, 2021
This story was sick! But...
It’s worth the reading.
It’s worth the reading.
July 23, 2021
1 DNF Star
Boring. Also, too much repetitive and not-so-hot sex that I ended up just skimming through. I'm totally fine with non-con in books, but I at least need to like the hero, or think he's hot, but the hero just came off as a creep to me. Normally, I would like these kind of books (heroine sleeps with om/hero celibate/revenge type of stuff), but the execution of it was lacking.
I can totally see the appeal for this story though, and I was going to try to pick this book up and try again, but I had zero motivation to, so imma take the L for this one for now😅
Boring. Also, too much repetitive and not-so-hot sex that I ended up just skimming through. I'm totally fine with non-con in books, but I at least need to like the hero, or think he's hot, but the hero just came off as a creep to me. Normally, I would like these kind of books (heroine sleeps with om/hero celibate/revenge type of stuff), but the execution of it was lacking.
I can totally see the appeal for this story though, and I was going to try to pick this book up and try again, but I had zero motivation to, so imma take the L for this one for now😅
September 23, 2014
Dark, twisted, mindfuck with a plot like I've never read! OMG! There has to be a book 2........ pluuueassssseee a book 2. If you're into this stuff, a must read.
PS.. HOW is it the author makes ya like the psychopath? I swear I don't like the chic at all
PSS... I need a book 2..... still want to throw my kindle against the wall after that! WOW!
PS.. HOW is it the author makes ya like the psychopath? I swear I don't like the chic at all
PSS... I need a book 2..... still want to throw my kindle against the wall after that! WOW!
September 30, 2014
There is no way to describe this book except WTF?!
Excuse my gifs but these were my thoughts throughout this book.
Everyone in this story is seriously messed up. Like deranged mentally fcuked up. Fifty shades of fcuked up.
If you want a crazy ass book then read this. Every single scene was insane!!!
Only problem is the ending was a bit unfinished.
July 29, 2024
2024 reread: This held up like I knew it would. Manifesting more dark erotic reads like this in my life. Second reread what Elliot chooses to do in the trial scene hit me. That was probably the most romantic gesture.
Whitney Bianca, if you ever write a dark vampire erotica series, I 1000% will buy that story. *me remembering Elliot bite Joanie at their first meeting* >:D
I read this immediately after finishing Mansions, and I loved I Know What Love Is as much as I loved Mansions!
The hero and the heroine are evenly matched as obsessed self-destructive stalkers.
I LIKE that the heroine is just as nasty and twisted as the hero. The power dynamics are so much more exciting when the heroine can match the hero's irrational desires, don't you think?
Both stories have similar storylines of the heroine running away from the hero and the hero in pursuit that takes place over the span of a few years - however, the stories are quite different (gothic mad woman in the attic, east coast elite setting in Mansions vs IKWLI's glorified criminal couple from the South).
Read if you are looking for dark erotica, violence. One of my favourite reads of the year!
Whitney Bianca, if you ever write a dark vampire erotica series, I 1000% will buy that story. *me remembering Elliot bite Joanie at their first meeting* >:D
I read this immediately after finishing Mansions, and I loved I Know What Love Is as much as I loved Mansions!
The hero and the heroine are evenly matched as obsessed self-destructive stalkers.
I LIKE that the heroine is just as nasty and twisted as the hero. The power dynamics are so much more exciting when the heroine can match the hero's irrational desires, don't you think?
Both stories have similar storylines of the heroine running away from the hero and the hero in pursuit that takes place over the span of a few years - however, the stories are quite different (gothic mad woman in the attic, east coast elite setting in Mansions vs IKWLI's glorified criminal couple from the South).
Read if you are looking for dark erotica, violence. One of my favourite reads of the year!
April 24, 2023
I missed reading these silly little dark books- nothing to see here. Straight to the psych ward I go (don't mind the rating 🥰😻).
''I'm not an idiot—I know what love is and that ain't it.
It just felt like it.''
November 15, 2019
Still 4.5 after my reread. This is one fucked up story but I love the passion and desperation between this pair.
January 21, 2015
"Rapists were supposed to be disgusting, with bad teeth, beer guts, small dicks, and hairy backs. At least, that´s how my innocent brain had pictured them. Men whose interior ugliness showed on their exterior flesh. Again, I used to be so naive. The worst monsters are the ones that don´t look like monsters, because they fool you into complacency with their beauty. While you´re busy mooning over their six-pack or their dazzling baby blues, they sneak up behind you, hit you over the head with a club, and drag you back to their cave. It´s been that way since the dawn of man. Since the age of neanderthal. I know that, now."
This book is disturbing on so many levels. I like it...
This book is disturbing on so many levels. I like it...
March 21, 2016
4.5 sadistic stars
Holy. Fucking. Hell.
That's the only thing that is coming to my mind after reading this. I have read some seriously dark books, and hardly anything fazes me much, but this book, I just did not know what to think about this. So damn unpredictable.
It starts with Joan being cornered in a club toilet and raped, and then later kidnapped by her rapist. He keeps her captive for 2 days there, and when she finally manages to run away, she leaves with an unhealthy obsession to Elliot- her perpetrator.
For to years she tries to move on with her life and forget that fucked up weekend, but at the same time secretly watering her obsession with Elliot. She searches for him, and after 2 years when she finds him again, she plunges both their lives down a path I was not ready for.
This book was unexpected. Whatever happened in it, were events I did not imagine would take place. Both the characters- Joan and Elliot were so messed up, it was not funny. Their story made me cringe and had my heart beating in fear for what was to come.
Whitney Bianca has written something so psychologically disturbing, that it is a show of absolute talent how much she could make the reader like both the characters. And I loved them, for reasons I am still searching for. But the writing was very good, and the entire narrative was so well delivered- from both their point of views.
This book is not for the faint-hearted. But anyone willing to read something that would fuck with their minds, by all means, please go ahead..
Holy. Fucking. Hell.
That's the only thing that is coming to my mind after reading this. I have read some seriously dark books, and hardly anything fazes me much, but this book, I just did not know what to think about this. So damn unpredictable.
It starts with Joan being cornered in a club toilet and raped, and then later kidnapped by her rapist. He keeps her captive for 2 days there, and when she finally manages to run away, she leaves with an unhealthy obsession to Elliot- her perpetrator.
"Pain was black and white. What he was doing to me existed in a gray area, and I hated the way he was making me feel."
For to years she tries to move on with her life and forget that fucked up weekend, but at the same time secretly watering her obsession with Elliot. She searches for him, and after 2 years when she finds him again, she plunges both their lives down a path I was not ready for.
This book was unexpected. Whatever happened in it, were events I did not imagine would take place. Both the characters- Joan and Elliot were so messed up, it was not funny. Their story made me cringe and had my heart beating in fear for what was to come.
Whitney Bianca has written something so psychologically disturbing, that it is a show of absolute talent how much she could make the reader like both the characters. And I loved them, for reasons I am still searching for. But the writing was very good, and the entire narrative was so well delivered- from both their point of views.
This book is not for the faint-hearted. But anyone willing to read something that would fuck with their minds, by all means, please go ahead..
"He was a murderer and a rapist. He was crazy and unstable and wanted to possess me, body and soul, but when he made love to me, I couldn't stop myself from wanting it. He'd taken everything from me and I was messed up enough to keep giving him more.
I was drowning in him."
May 11, 2019
Intense & dark as hell
March 26, 2016
4.5 Cat and Mouse STARS!
"Daisy,” he said. I didn't respond. His hand found my bare thigh in the darkness. “I'm going to hurt you, baby"
Nothing is right about this book. It's all Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And I loved every wrong thing about it.
Not for hearts and flowers romance readers! THIS IS A DARK ROMANCE!
Daisy walks into a bar one night and her life is changed forever. Elliott is bad, really bad and I couldn't get enough of his brutal ways. If your going to write a dark romance, this is how you do it. Elliott made no excuses for his behavior, no internal debate against wrong or right, he grabbed the bull by the horns so to speak and rode that bitch. This was a perfect balance of dark. The second half really got me. Who's stalking who? If you like your men mean and your see your women fight back, then this one is for you. A game of cat and mouse that will have you rethinking your morals at every turn.
"The worst monsters are the ones that don't look like monsters, because they fool you into complacency with their beauty"
Totally Recommend to my dark friends!!!!! A MUST READ!
"Daisy,” he said. I didn't respond. His hand found my bare thigh in the darkness. “I'm going to hurt you, baby"
Nothing is right about this book. It's all Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And I loved every wrong thing about it.
Not for hearts and flowers romance readers! THIS IS A DARK ROMANCE!
Daisy walks into a bar one night and her life is changed forever. Elliott is bad, really bad and I couldn't get enough of his brutal ways. If your going to write a dark romance, this is how you do it. Elliott made no excuses for his behavior, no internal debate against wrong or right, he grabbed the bull by the horns so to speak and rode that bitch. This was a perfect balance of dark. The second half really got me. Who's stalking who? If you like your men mean and your see your women fight back, then this one is for you. A game of cat and mouse that will have you rethinking your morals at every turn.
"The worst monsters are the ones that don't look like monsters, because they fool you into complacency with their beauty"
Totally Recommend to my dark friends!!!!! A MUST READ!
January 22, 2019
5 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
***Read this for the 2019 DE A-Z Challenge***
This is a story of psychotic obsession. Triggers all over the place. EVERYWHERE.
Jesus, this book is disturbing, dark, and amazing. Seriously, as long as you can handle it, read this book. I'm not sure I've ever read a story like this, about how obsession can grow into something addictive and all-encompassing. I've read plenty of captive dark romances, but this is something entirely different. Aside from a couple days, the "captive" part is all psychological. My main issue with captive romance is that the development of feelings (ie Stockholm Syndrome) never seems organic or even all that understandable. In this story, the psychological aspect is explored to the point where it isn't just relatable, it's expected. Now, it would seem odd to me if a person didn't feel this type of way towards their attacker. How crazy is that?
I'll review the duet after I finish book 2. That being said, this book could definitely be read as a standalone, and it would be a full five stars.
Since I was 22 years old, he's been the most hated person in my universe, but he's been the only constant, as well. The threat and promise of him is always alive in the back of my mind. He's the only person I can truly count on to love me unconditionally. My parents and brothers can never know me like he does. He knows the dirty parts, the ugly parts, the crazy parts, because he's bred and fostered them in me. And he loves me anyway. I also know all of his bad parts. I know what to expect. I don't fear him anymore. In a lot of ways, I'm his mirror, and he's mine.
***Read this for the 2019 DE A-Z Challenge***
This is a story of psychotic obsession. Triggers all over the place. EVERYWHERE.
Jesus, this book is disturbing, dark, and amazing. Seriously, as long as you can handle it, read this book. I'm not sure I've ever read a story like this, about how obsession can grow into something addictive and all-encompassing. I've read plenty of captive dark romances, but this is something entirely different. Aside from a couple days, the "captive" part is all psychological. My main issue with captive romance is that the development of feelings (ie Stockholm Syndrome) never seems organic or even all that understandable. In this story, the psychological aspect is explored to the point where it isn't just relatable, it's expected. Now, it would seem odd to me if a person didn't feel this type of way towards their attacker. How crazy is that?
I'll review the duet after I finish book 2. That being said, this book could definitely be read as a standalone, and it would be a full five stars.
Since I was 22 years old, he's been the most hated person in my universe, but he's been the only constant, as well. The threat and promise of him is always alive in the back of my mind. He's the only person I can truly count on to love me unconditionally. My parents and brothers can never know me like he does. He knows the dirty parts, the ugly parts, the crazy parts, because he's bred and fostered them in me. And he loves me anyway. I also know all of his bad parts. I know what to expect. I don't fear him anymore. In a lot of ways, I'm his mirror, and he's mine.
March 8, 2016
:: 5 Consuming Stars ::
“The worst monsters are the ones that don’t look like monsters, because they fool you into complacency with their beauty. While you’re busy mooning over their six packs or their dazzling baby blues, they sneak up behind you, hit you over the head with a club, and drag you back to their cave.”
This is one of the better dark romances out there. It is twisted, unique, and just plain NUTS! It’s not just about abuse and kidnapping, there is so much more to the story. This story follows the life of both individuals before, during, and after the attack and kidnapping. Readers may not be able to fully understand the characters emotions, but they will be glued to the pages hoping that something good comes from this dark story.
Readers will also find themselves questioning just why Elliot became an obsessive stalker. We don’t get much background information but I am hoping there is a book two as this one kind of ended on a cliffhanger. Overall, this story was amazing!
For more information, check out my blog: http://www.confessionsofabookaholic.net/
“The worst monsters are the ones that don’t look like monsters, because they fool you into complacency with their beauty. While you’re busy mooning over their six packs or their dazzling baby blues, they sneak up behind you, hit you over the head with a club, and drag you back to their cave.”
This is one of the better dark romances out there. It is twisted, unique, and just plain NUTS! It’s not just about abuse and kidnapping, there is so much more to the story. This story follows the life of both individuals before, during, and after the attack and kidnapping. Readers may not be able to fully understand the characters emotions, but they will be glued to the pages hoping that something good comes from this dark story.
Readers will also find themselves questioning just why Elliot became an obsessive stalker. We don’t get much background information but I am hoping there is a book two as this one kind of ended on a cliffhanger. Overall, this story was amazing!
For more information, check out my blog: http://www.confessionsofabookaholic.net/
December 1, 2014
“He was a murderer and a rapist. He was crazy and unstable and wanted to possess me, body and soul, but when he made love to me, I couldn't stop myself from wanting it. He'd taken everything from me and I was messed up enough to keep giving him more.”
I can't even ...
Soooo wrong , but somehow such an attention grabber ! I couldn't stop reading it , till I had reached the last page .
Give me book 2 right now !!!
I have a feeling things may not end on a good note ... :(
I can't even ...
Soooo wrong , but somehow such an attention grabber ! I couldn't stop reading it , till I had reached the last page .
Give me book 2 right now !!!
I have a feeling things may not end on a good note ... :(
May 17, 2016
REVIEW TO COME
Want to read
July 14, 2015♪I want you to show meeeee ♪
May 17, 2018
3.5/5 Stars
This is one very messed up book.
This is one very messed up book.
May 28, 2021
I know.... Series
I Know What Love Is ➟ 3.5 stars
Love is Strange ➟ to be read
Book: I Know What Love Is
Rating: 3.5 stars
Trigger Warning: Rape, Sexual Assault, Physical Trauma – in general just a very dark book and graphic details
Summary
The moment he saw Joan Vasquez, Elliot Pritchard knew he had to have her. No matter what, she was his just by one look. Elliot would do anything to have her, even if that meant hurting her. Especially if it meant hurting her. That night, all Joan wanted to do was go to a dive bar and hook up with a random stranger. That all changed the moment she bumped into the cool dark stranger. It was all over. The life Elliot and Joan new before each other changed at that moment. Nothing would ever be the same.
Review
This book is messed up. I have read my fair share of dark and taboo romances but damn, this may have been the most messed up. To be honest, if I had read the reviews or even read the summary, I don’t think I would have read this. As a hopeless romantic, I have to realize this isn’t a love story. Rather, it’s a fucked up erotic mess. I shouldn’t have liked this but somehow, I did.
This was my first time reading a Whitney Bianca book, and I really enjoyed her writing. The writing felt effortless, and I was hooked by the first page. The book was told with switching POVS but it was also told in the past tense, which I felt made the book more interesting and captivating. The plot was a lot to be honest. Not only because the book was dealing with such dark themes, but the book spanned multiple years and so much happened. But I loved the suspense. I was very impressed how Whitney could write such a dark, messed up, fucked up, almost even revolting and repulsive book, but make it so beautiful as well. I couldn’t help but root for the characters “romance” when in reality I probably shouldn’t have.
Joan Martina “Daisy” Vasquez was an interesting heroine. At first, you feel her pain and her trauma because everything she is going through by the hands of Elliot. I like how strong she was, and how she kept herself grounded through those painful moments. However, I was a little lost at the fact that she became so intrigued by Elliot – this horrible human being. She was obsessed with the guy who assaulted her and abused her. It didn’t really make sense but, shit, it made a great story! I loved how Joan toyed with Elliot’s mind, I loved how she could manipulate him and drive him towards the edge. Joan was a great and powerful heroine.
Elliot John Pritchard was an interesting hero. Well, anti-hero in this case. Actually, maybe he was the villain? I don’t even know how to define his character. All I can say is that he is messed up! He is a horrible excuse for a human being – he kidnaps Joan, abuses and uses her in any way he wants. Somehow though, he still found a way for Joan to “love” him. To be honest, I don’t really like him. He is a vicious human being and has no remorse for others. I only “liked” him in relation to Joan, and their relationship.
In terms of the romance, this isn’t a love story. So, I don’t want to call their relationship romantic. Rather, two people who have a magnetic force to each other; they both won’t stop at anything to have each other. The moment they laid eyes on each other, they were each other’s. There was no one else, and there would never be any else. They are obsessed with each other. Addicted to each other. It’s a horrible attraction but nonetheless the love and want is still there. The only thing is they might destroy each other. Or maybe they already have.
So, I can’t wait to see what the hell these two do with each other in book two!
I Know What Love Is ➟ 3.5 stars
Love is Strange ➟ to be read
Book: I Know What Love Is
Rating: 3.5 stars
Trigger Warning: Rape, Sexual Assault, Physical Trauma – in general just a very dark book and graphic details
Summary
The moment he saw Joan Vasquez, Elliot Pritchard knew he had to have her. No matter what, she was his just by one look. Elliot would do anything to have her, even if that meant hurting her. Especially if it meant hurting her. That night, all Joan wanted to do was go to a dive bar and hook up with a random stranger. That all changed the moment she bumped into the cool dark stranger. It was all over. The life Elliot and Joan new before each other changed at that moment. Nothing would ever be the same.
Review
This book is messed up. I have read my fair share of dark and taboo romances but damn, this may have been the most messed up. To be honest, if I had read the reviews or even read the summary, I don’t think I would have read this. As a hopeless romantic, I have to realize this isn’t a love story. Rather, it’s a fucked up erotic mess. I shouldn’t have liked this but somehow, I did.
“He knows the dirty parts, the ugly parts, the crazy parts, because he's bred and fostered them in me. And he loves me anyway.
I also know all of his bad parts. I know what to expect. I don't fear him anymore.
In a lot of ways, I'm his mirror, and he's mine.”
This was my first time reading a Whitney Bianca book, and I really enjoyed her writing. The writing felt effortless, and I was hooked by the first page. The book was told with switching POVS but it was also told in the past tense, which I felt made the book more interesting and captivating. The plot was a lot to be honest. Not only because the book was dealing with such dark themes, but the book spanned multiple years and so much happened. But I loved the suspense. I was very impressed how Whitney could write such a dark, messed up, fucked up, almost even revolting and repulsive book, but make it so beautiful as well. I couldn’t help but root for the characters “romance” when in reality I probably shouldn’t have.
“That was then, this is now. My story is not a happy one, and I don't expect a happy ending. I don't expect that my prince and I will ride off into the sunset. I don't expect a happily ever after. I don't expect anything so clean and easy. My life is about to take a messy turn, and I know the end will be bittersweet, at best.”
Joan Martina “Daisy” Vasquez was an interesting heroine. At first, you feel her pain and her trauma because everything she is going through by the hands of Elliot. I like how strong she was, and how she kept herself grounded through those painful moments. However, I was a little lost at the fact that she became so intrigued by Elliot – this horrible human being. She was obsessed with the guy who assaulted her and abused her. It didn’t really make sense but, shit, it made a great story! I loved how Joan toyed with Elliot’s mind, I loved how she could manipulate him and drive him towards the edge. Joan was a great and powerful heroine.
“You're mine,” he repeated, as he shuddered against me. “Say it.”
“I'm yours,” I breathed, knowing it was true as soon as the words left my mouth. I was Elliot's, whether I wanted to be or not. He had forced himself into my brain, my molecules, and had changed me irrevocably. The girl that I had been before he'd come into my life was officially dead.
“Forever and ever,” he whispered.
Elliot John Pritchard was an interesting hero. Well, anti-hero in this case. Actually, maybe he was the villain? I don’t even know how to define his character. All I can say is that he is messed up! He is a horrible excuse for a human being – he kidnaps Joan, abuses and uses her in any way he wants. Somehow though, he still found a way for Joan to “love” him. To be honest, I don’t really like him. He is a vicious human being and has no remorse for others. I only “liked” him in relation to Joan, and their relationship.
“I hated him, but I craved him. I wanted him dead, but I also wanted him to fill me up and fuck me and hold me tight against his unyielding body. Even now, years later, I can't stop myself from wanting him. We're stuck in a fucked-up web of our own making and there's no way out.
For either of us.”
In terms of the romance, this isn’t a love story. So, I don’t want to call their relationship romantic. Rather, two people who have a magnetic force to each other; they both won’t stop at anything to have each other. The moment they laid eyes on each other, they were each other’s. There was no one else, and there would never be any else. They are obsessed with each other. Addicted to each other. It’s a horrible attraction but nonetheless the love and want is still there. The only thing is they might destroy each other. Or maybe they already have.
So, I can’t wait to see what the hell these two do with each other in book two!
December 29, 2023
THIS BOOK IS SO SO FUCKED UP. 🫣
This is darkx1000
I’m kinda torn about this book honestly.
Even tho I enjoyed it, I don’t feel like continuing the duet bec this one was such a mindfuck, and I’m not sure if it was good or bad mindfuck so… 😶
This is darkx1000
I’m kinda torn about this book honestly.
Even tho I enjoyed it, I don’t feel like continuing the duet bec this one was such a mindfuck, and I’m not sure if it was good or bad mindfuck so… 😶
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