Owning Our Struggles: A Path to Healing and Finding Community in a Broken World

by Minaa B.

Discover the power of collective healing in this research-based and real-world guide to moving past trauma and adversity—together.

Adversity comes in many forms, and can make us feel alone in our pain, even years after the fact. But as wellness coach and licensed therapist Minaa B. observes, we can’t heal in isolation. The best way to move past individual trauma is through connection and community—healing ourselves and one another.
In this powerful and practical guide, Minaa shares therapeutic tools, client stories, and actionable insights to help you on your healing journey, along with reflections from her personal experiences. Each chapter focuses on a common emotional struggle—from overcoming dysfunctional family patterns to developing emotional maturity, finding our village, navigating racial trauma, and moving past isolation and despair.
Through her unique mix of deeply honest personal stories, proven practices, and prompts for writing and reflection, Minaa helps readers finally face their struggles, get unstuck, and transform their thinking—to claim agency in their own lives and circumstances, and to use that power to help heal a broken world.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Health

Audible Audio

Published August 22, 2023

About the author

Minaa B. is a writer, author of Owning Our Struggles, and the founder of Minaa B. Consulting, a mental health consulting practice that works with organizations to help them develop psychological safety and become mental health inclusive. She is also a licensed mental health professional and worked as a therapist specializing in treating depression, anxiety, and trauma. An expert in her field, Minaa sits on the Mental Health Advisory Committee for Wondermind, a mental fitness company co-founded by Selena Gomez. Minaa has also been featured in various media outlets such as Red Table Talk, Peace of Mind With Taraji, BBC, Essence, and more. She lives in New York City.

Reviews

[daemyra, the realm's delight · Rating 3 out of 5]

Got this on a whim last year. I think the trick with self-help books by popular social media accounts is to skim read it. I got a lot of value skimming through it. If I sat down to give it my full attention, I likely would be annoyed. However, this was a good and fast read. I liked how each chapter was on a perspective of a modern struggle, and enjoyed how Minaa B. structured her content. Contains all the buzzword pop-psych, but explains them in a helpful and concise manner, and uses them in an interesting context in relation to a particular struggle (each chapter is based on a struggle we have, for example our struggle with trauma or rest or finding love).

[Ian Moses · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a transformative, restorative piece of psychology writing that pays homage to important themes like establishing boundaries with loved ones, achieving self-awareness, identification of different types of platonic structures,it is an thoroughly refreshing research based analysis on the human psyche.

[Lexie Miller · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting listen but unfortunately a lot of what I’ve heard before with similar examples to other self help books. This one focuses a lot on race and racism which allowed another way to think about how these elements and our world today impacts our struggles.

[Katherine H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretty good but nothing super new. I'm guessing I didn't feel a lot bc it wasn't super applicable to me.
Thinking about cutting ties with parents? Nope.
Struggling with singleness and feeling lonely?
Not where I'm at right now.
Need to know when to set boundaries with friends?
Surprisingly, I think I've already got this covered.

I think there are probably people who would find this super helpful but it's not what I need right now. She also has a lot of specific Black girl focused content which didn't really help me. I think she's a Christian but it's not clear that affects her theology or her advice.

Many people talk about therapy being a place where you realize how all the other people in your life are problems (spec. your parents), but Minaa is very focused on how our actions affect our community. You can't blame everyone else for your problems; if you don't have friends then analyze your own problems, like commitment issues or monopolizing conversations. Good advice but I felt like it wasn't things I didn't know or need to work on rn.

[Cate Kabiru · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it, such a great read.

[Hazel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Extremely informative and helpful!! I will need to read this again. Maybe even buy it! So many journal prompts and I haven't used them all yet. Great way to be curious with yourself.

[Dawna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well written & thought out. This would be very helpful to the right reader who personally relates to some of the struggles Minaa B. covers in this book. I really find a lot of what she posts on instagram very helpful - especially regarding setting personal boundaries - so I was hoping there would be more of that type of counsel in her book.

[deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very thoughtful and thorough writing. The best part were lots of practical tips, advice and exercises to try.
It was broken down into different areas and was encouraging and uplifting!
Not all parts were relevant to me but I appreciated the author’s point of view and experiences.

[Cassandra A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an awesome start to reprogramming your mindset and finding your why!

[Elliott Richards · Rating 3 out of 5]

Owning Our Struggles has a very specific audience. It is first and foremost aimed at black readers and, even more so, black women. Readers from other backgrounds may be able to relate to specific matters the text discusses, and to “translate” to their own experiences, but it is unquestionably aimed at those who have lived through the trauma and challenges of being a black woman in America, the most. In one passage, for example, she recounts being a child of 10 and being accused by two (white) police officers of theft in a store by an unseen other shopper, with her parents and a deaf uncle in tow. That is the level of intensity this book is on.

The various chapters of the book deal in various “struggles” per chapter – for “wholeness”, for “healing”, for “safe spaces”, for “unconditional love”, for “intimacy”, for “fulfillment” and “of being human.” All of those, of course, are laudable goals. And yet, my read through the book felt more and more depressing, the deeper into it I went. My experiences growing up did not parallel that of the author (no judgment there, just a statement of fact), and while the issues touched on are, on some level, universal to this time in humanity and in American culture (it was written in 2023), there is a specific reader who will be better able to relate to this work than others.

This is not a “feel-good” book. It’s a challenging read, one that will make the reader take a hard look at some potentially unpleasant truths about society, and maybe even about themselves. The intention, of course, is to get to healing. Just be ready for an uneasy path there.

[Kobe Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book is absolutely incredible. Each story and insight brought me so much revelation. Minaa beautifully conveys the reality of the struggles so many of us deal with and relationships. There is not a better book out there on navigating the nuances of building, and maintaining relationships. This has really helped me feel empowered to make the right choices so you can feel at peace in your life. It is an absolute must read for any person who wants to understand how to have a better relationship with themselves and others! You NEED this book!

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best “self-help” type books I’ve read! I loved it because it focused on the importance of community care and the need for others. It also strongly stressed the importance of authenticity and honoring yourself. Boundaries boundaries boundaries! I’ve recommended to several friends and thought the author did a great job making it easily digestible. I listened to this on audible and wish that I would have bought a hard copy to highlight and take notes as I read.

[Mary · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book to be interesting and I appreciate the author's perspective as both a mental health professional and a BIPOC woman. The book primarily focuses on minority communities and provides insight into their needs and how to heal. However, I noticed that a lot of the content was familiar to me from previous readings and research. While the book is good, it didn't have the "wow" factor for me and I'm unsure if I would recommend it to others.

[Cel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read/listen to a lot of self improvement books over the last couple of years this one is my favorite audiobook. I felt seen if that makes sense and it was very inspiring and motivated and she made you feel like you are ok you are perfectly imperfect and to continue to show yourself love and compassion even on the days were you are not feeling your best.
I borrowed this from libby however, I am going to buy physical copy to add to my shelf so i can go back to read when I need a boost!

[Angel Cronan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots of good advice for healing and fostering healthy relationships in life. The author also shares parts of her own healing journey and touches upon topics regarding micro-racism and socioeconomic struggles. It’s relatable for the biopic community, but the principles apply to everyone regardless of their race or background.

[Hilary · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Owning Our Struggles” was incredibly valuable in helping me understand and embrace life’s challenges. The book provided insightful tools for self-reflection, allowing for individual growth and resilience through difficult times. I felt Minna B’s compassionate approach made the process of facing struggles feel empowering rather than overwhelming.

[geekoutonreading : Tiffany · Rating 2 out of 5]

Probably a 2.5. I don't feel like I was the target audience, and it wasn't really what I was expecting. There were some good insights and suggestions, but overall, nothing I hadn't already heard/read before. This book might be a good fit for some people, it just wasn't for me.

[Emeline W · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a therapist myself, I love Minaa’s book and highly recommend it!

[Camille · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audio, read by the author

This is very nearly the book I've been looking for for years now 💜💜

[Savannah]

DNF at 41% - Not a bad book, just not what I was expecting. It was mostly just a lot of self-help / therapeutic tools instead of a path to community connection/liberation that I was hoping for

[janaynachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Owning Our Struggles is timeless! What a beautiful way to encourage us to do the inner accountability work. It’s personal and practical and allows us to be selfish in the health we desire and deserve for our lives while remaining selfless by understanding how our inner work transforms our circles, families, generations and ultimately our communities. I will go back to this read time and time again!