First Love Language

by Stefany Valentine

Two teens discover that love defies the boundaries of any spoken language in this debut romantic dramedy about finding love and reconnecting with your culture in the most surprising ways.

A WILLIAM C. MORRIS AWARD FINALIST
NOW PART OF THE OBAMA PRESIDENTIAL CENTER

Taiwanese American Catie Carlson has never fit in with her white family. As much as she loves her stepmom and stepsister, she yearns to understand more about her culture and find her biological mother.

So Catie is shocked when an opportunity comes knocking on her Her summer spa coworker, Toby, says he’ll teach her Mandarin. In exchange, she needs to teach him how to date so he can finally work up the courage to ask out his crush. The only problem is that Catie doesn’t actually have any dating experience. But she can fake it.

With her late father’s copy of The Five Love Languages and all his annotated notes, Catie becomes the perfect dating coach. Or so she thinks. As she gets dangerously close to Toby and to finding out what really happened to her biological mom, she realizes that learning the language of love might be tougher than she thought.

Stefany Valentine’s debut novel is both a fresh, fun romance as well as a profound, luminous story about grief, family, transracial adoption, and what it means to truly follow your heart.

Genres: Romance, Young Adult, Contemporary, Young Adult Romance, Audiobook, Contemporary Romance, Asian Literature

Audible Audio

First published January 14, 2025

About the author

Stefany is an emerging young adult author in the romance space. Her first publication is featured in When We Become Ours: A YA Adoptee Anthology. Her debut novel, First Love Language, will release with Penguin Workshop in January, 2025. Her sophomore novel, Love Makes Mochi, is slated with Joy Revolution in February, 2026. When not reading or writing, Stefany can be found practicing Mandarin, walking her three pups on the beach, and trying not to kill her plants. Again.

Reviews

[Nilufer Ozmekik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful cover, sweet characters, a heartfelt love story, and inspirational representation of LGBTQ+ identity, language barriers, and embracing cultural heritage make this surprisingly adorable book a hidden gem that fully deserves my five stars! I lost count of how many times I sighed and smiled while reading about the love language lessons and the blossoming romance between Catie and Toby. It’s so refreshing, honest, and engaging!

The story centers around a young Taiwanese girl, Catie Carlson, who is raised by her stepmother and struggles to communicate with her brooding stepsister, still grieving the loss of their father to cancer two years ago. On top of that, they are forced to move from their home in San Diego, which they can no longer afford, to Utah, where they will live with their conservative Mormon aunt, uncle, and cousin, whom they barely know. Leaving their old life behind to live under their aunt’s strict rules—such as attending church every Sunday and facing criticism about their clothes and makeup—is tough. Catie also misses her biological mother, who may still be in Taiwan. She has no idea why her parents divorced, or why her father got custody, and though she loves her stepmom, she doesn’t want to hurt her feelings by talking about her mother.

When Catie starts looking for jobs and is hired as a receptionist at a popular spa, she befriends Toby, the son of the spa owners. When she learns Toby has a huge crush on one of the customers, she offers to help him in exchange for free Mandarin lessons, which she hopes will help her reconnect with her cultural heritage. Pretending to be more experienced in love than she is, she even lies about having a boyfriend to avoid seeming inexperienced.

Fortunately, she finds her father’s favorite book, The Five Love Languages, and uses it as inspiration to create special “practice” dates with Toby, teaching him how to approach his future crush. They also begin their Taiwanese lessons and start spending more time together after work, growing closer as they share their secrets and family issues, walking the fine line between friendship and something more.

Catie knows she needs to come clean about her relationship status and stop lying to Toby, even if it risks their friendship. But what if she's also risking her heart?

Overall: This is an inspirational read about embracing culture, heritage, language, and sexual orientation, alongside a heartwarming young adult romance that I highly recommend as one of the best upcoming YA fiction novels of 2025!

Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Group/Penguin Young Readers Group/Penguin Workshop for sharing this lovely YA romance’s digital review copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.

[sakurablossom95 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a beautiful read about reconnecting with your culture, language and embracing your heritage as well as learning to be true to yourself while navigating the messy, awkward, and fun times of being a teenager. It beautifully explores themes of identity, culture, family, sisterhood, love, and loss.

The story centers on 17-year-old Catie, who moves with her stepmom Andrea and stepsister Mavis to live with her mom’s conservative family after her mom loses her job and the lifestyle they were accustomed to changes drastically. In this small town, Catie takes a summer job at a spa and meets Toby, a Mandarin speaker who agrees to teach her the language in exchange for dating advice. The catch? Catie has zero experience in dating, so she fakes it till she makes it!

Catie and Toby’s dynamic is everything you’d expect from two teens wandering through life. It's awkward, cheesy, cute, and fun. Their relationship represents the highs and lows of being a teenager which were equal parts awkward for the most part and somewhat endearing too.
Through these exchanges with her Mandarin lessons, Catie embarks on a journey of self-discovery, uncovering not just her feelings for Toby but also what it means to be a transracial adoptee.

As someone whose family also immigrated to the West, I found Catie’s experiences hit close to home. This book captures the bittersweetness of longing for what could have been, of relearning your culture and language from a new perspective, and of embracing heritage that once felt distant. I especially loved the chapter titles, pinyin, and hanzi. It felt like I was relearning part of my own mother tongue. For my fellow Cantonese speakers out there: "sik teng mm sik gong" indeed! 😂😭

Does this count as my first skincare and book review? Like Catie, your girl here also has giant pores and pink blemishes which snail mucin and green tea does wonders for!

Thank you @booksbystefany for the amazing care package and the book as well, but mostly the skincare cause my acne cleared up!

[Noi (in & out) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was cute but I kind of wish they picked one 'thing' to talk about because it felt like a bit much for a 320? page book and a YA one at that but still.

- Moving
- Looking for a connection (diversity representation in a mainly white-dominant area)
- Lessons
- First love (not a spoiler, it's in the name)
- LGBT+ (non-main character)
- Talk of religion (Mormonism specifically)

----------------------
Happy release day!

My first 2025 released book, I hope I picked good!

[Mai H.]

ANHPI TBR

Valentine's Day TBR

📱 Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Workshop

[zai · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gorgeous debut, has me in my feels right from the first sentence ( i made my friends read the first sentence and they were gasping as well lmao ).
firstly i would love to thank prh international for the arc.

now where do i even start, this book is forever who;
-`♡´- like friends to lovers
-`♡´- likes found family
-`♡´- wants to read stories surrounding identity, diaspora, culture
-`♡´- wants an adopted main character rep

plot : After the death of her biological father, catie is left to be with her step and adopted mother and sister and lots of questions about her biological mother and maternal heritage, culture and family. When forced to move, she meets toby, the son of her employer who offers to teach her mandarin if she in return teaches him how to confess to his crush.

"If home is where the heart is then a broken home must mean that a heart is broken, too."

characters : catie, she is the center of this book, she is confused and lost and wants answers, she loves her adopted family but she wants answers, being bullying in school she has grown distant from her maternal heritage but now after the death of her father, she is curious. Like every teenager, she is messy, lies at time and gets herself in trouble and sticky situations but she is lovable, she is so easy to adore and root for.

toby, silly, funny, adorable. if catie is the center of the book, toby is the light. he makes her fall in love with not just him but also her culture, slowly he makes her unlearn the fear and accept and grow.

mavis and rayleigh, catie's step sister and cousin, two of my most beloved characters, their growth and understanding of themselves throughout the book is heartwarming and their relationship with catie is so wholesome.

”Catie, you’re my first love language.”

romance : Even though this is a romance, i wanted more of them, i think it was centered more around the other topics and themes of the book than the romance itself, which i honestly love so much. but they are cute, they are silly and just downright the most heartwarming.

First love language tackles a lot of themes, culture and identity, sexuality and religion and adopted families, and even though it's young adult, stefany valentine handled it so well, it neither felt too heavily for the genre or half-minded. it was executed perfectly in every sense.


initial review
4.5
brb im actually so overwhelmed

[Ming · Rating 4 out of 5]

book review // first love language by stephanie valentine
🌟🌟🌟🌟 (4/5)

happy release day to first love language by stefany valentine! can we take a moment to admire how beautiful this book cover is?

this book felt like a warm hug and a punch in the gut. i’ve never read a young adult book written by another interracial adoptee and i can’t even begin to describe how much it meant. stefany’s writing is so heartfelt and explores all the struggles and thoughts that being an adoptee can bring.

the romance was so wholesome and i loved the complicated family relationships and how much about them was explored and worked through.

stefany’s writing brings a much needed viewpoint and experience to ya literature, and i highly recommend reading this book. it’s a book that draws you in and makes you want to read it in one sitting.

thank you penguin teen for the copy!

[Anahita Karthik]

”Catie, you’re my first love language.”

What do I say? First Love Language is absolutely stellar. It’s one of those books that the moment I had the eARC in my Kindle, I had to set everything else I was reading aside instantly so I could focus on this one. The writing is electric and lyrical, captures that authentic teen voice perfectly, and reminds me of exactly why I will never stop reading YA.

There’s a whirlwind, dreamy, life-changing quality to teen fiction, with the awkwardness and giddiness of first loves, connecting to your lost culture and language, and feeling like there’s not much in your control and you’re just along for the ride—in most cases, and especially in this book, the determining factor being the death of Catie’s dad and Catie’s mom’s unfortunate unemployment—that I’ve found thoroughly lacking in adult fiction, despite loving the latter to death.

While Stefany’s book is romantic, it’s not a romance, but writing-wise, the easy flow, humour, and dreamlike quality reminded me of Ann Liang’s This Time It’s Real, and that is one of my favourite YA books, so it’s no surprise how much I loved First Love Language. I flew through the chapters, felt a medley of emotions, giggling one chapter, anxious the next. By the end, I had tears in my eyes because I was so emotional. I can’t help but think of how this would be the perfect teen movie, with all the feels!

I think the positioning of this book as a romantic dramedy is perfect, because this isn’t a book about just a romance, but about sibling relationships, reconnecting with your heritage, and complicated but very real family dynamics. The relationship between Catie and her mom, reminiscence of what Catie shared with her dad, her budding friendship and sisterhood with Mavis and Rayleigh, and finding her community in Salt Lake City—all of it was PERFECT.

I don’t know how Stefany managed to make a place like SLC seem actually fun, but this book taught me that it truly isn’t about the place itself, but the community you find that makes or breaks any place. I loved how Catie found her community of friends, a summer job that was perfect for her, given her interests, and a sense of belonging despite at first, being seemingly surrounded by a very regressive Mormon community.

This book was also so beautifully queer, which only heightened the sense of strong community in this book, and how no matter which corner of the earth you’re in, even if you feel left out and all alone, if you look hard enough, you will find your people, your community. And it’s amazing how I went from hating the fact that Catie had to now live in a place like SLC at the beginning of the book to genuinely being happy about her getting to live there.

Catie, as a main character, was so well done. I loved how raw, real, and validating her feelings were. As an adoptee myself, with complicated adoptee feelings in me that I’ve been unable to put into words all these years, this book captured all of it perfectly. It was as if the author reached into my heart, wound the twisted knot of my feelings around her fingers, and unravelled them on the page. Catie was so relatable, and I especially loved how passionate she was about makeup and skin-care. She was so easy to love and care for, and stood out as a main character. I just wanted to give her a tight hug.

Toby, oh Toby! He was so adorable. I feel like a lot of teen fiction these days have cardboard cut-out male love interests, but Toby, like Catie, stood out. I loved everything about him, from his love for cosmetology, to his purple hair, to his embarrassing (but adorable) awkwardness around his crush, and the way he loves and respects Catie. It was so refreshing to see a love interest with zero romantic experience as well! I especially think the bit he mentioned about how just because he was into cosmetics and worked at a salon, a lot of people thought he was gay, which isn’t true at all—toxic masculinity has so many of us believing “real hetero men” shouldn’t care about their appearance, when in fact, it’s such an attractive quality in any person. Toby was a love interest written for us bi girls! He was so cool, and Catie and he were perfect for each other.

Their romance was probably the slowest burn I’ve read in a while, with an organic build-up to them falling in love and getting together, and it was so swoony. I loved their dates, the way they just FIT together, and the little tidbits about the Mandarin lessons. It actually made me want to learn Mandarin myself.

A few spoilers ahead:

As for the side characters, except for Aunt Joanna and Uncle Nick, I loved them all! Mavis, a spunky pansexual who wears her heart on her sleeve; Rayleigh, whose acceptance of her lesbian identity and golden heart warmed my own; Alex, the badass enby bestie to Toby whom I absolutely LOVED as a love interest for Mavis; Catie’s stepmom, who was so freakin’ cool; the Yoon-Hansens; and of course, Munchkin and Maddie Sue!

When Catie received that email from her biological aunt, I actually cried because I was so happy for her and so proud of her for being so brave. The author’s note and acknowledgments following the last chapter only made me further feel like my heart was soaring. This is such a feel-good book, a perfect summer, teen read. Highly recommend!

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a unique, cool, storyline.
I think the heart of this novel is about Catie finding herself. I think the story had the potential to dig a bit deeper in a couple places and I’ll go into that in a minute.

Catie is only 17 and her life has changed a lot in that short span of time. Catie’s biological mom and biological dad divorced when she was a baby, her mom was from Taiwan and her dad was American. At 5, Catie came to the US with her dad and never saw her biological mother again.
Years later, Catie’s dad remarried and her step-mom adopted her. She also brought a child of her own into the marriage, a daughter the same age as Catie. They became a new family. But two years ago Catie’s father died. She lost her last biological relative and she also lost the ability to get answers about her biological mother.
On his death bed he also asked Catie to be true to herself or something along those lines. Catie realized she didn’t know much about her own family history. She’s now being raised by a white step-mom/ adopted mom. She has no connection to her Taiwanese side. She can’t speak her first language anymore.
Things get worse when Catie’s mom moves the family to Utah to stay with her strict Mormon sister and her family.

Then Catie meets Toby.
They meet when Catie applies for a summer job at his family’s salon. She thinks he’s cool but he’s very awkward around girls.
She also finds out that he teaches mandarin lessons. Catie would love to relearn her first language but doesn’t have the money for the lessons.
Conveniently, Catie’s inherited her father’s much annotated copy of The Five Languages. Funny enough, I swear I remember my mom reading this when I was a kid. I remember her mentioning the different types of ways people prefer to show love and receive love.
Catie offers Toby dating lessons in exchange for language lessons. He doesn’t need to know that she has zero dating experience since she has her dad’s trusty book, right?
She comes up with the idea of going on 5 dates to go with the 5 love languages.

So part of the story is cute “dates” with Catie and Toby.
And part of the story is about Catie reconnecting to her first language and trying to connect to her family. She uses a genealogy program at the church to look for her biological mother.

Here are my two constructive criticisms or comments:
1)I wish we had learned more about Catie’s biological family throughout this book, or even just more about her life before she moved to the US
2)I wish we got to read more of the annotations in the book her father left her. When I read that he wrote notes all throughout the book I was hoping to get to read more of the notes he left.

I thought this was a sweet story of first love. I liked Catie and Toby.

[AK · Rating 5 out of 5]

Real Rating: 4.5 Stars

This book is a great example as to why we need more diversity in books! I loved seeing an adoptee try to get back to their roots in a world that has left them unmoored. To learn this was inspired by the author's own experience made it that much more important.

Catie's parents divorced when she was a child and her father has since passed away. Her stepmom, and adopted mother, moves them out to Utah after losing her job and their apartment. With all this change, Catie is curious about opening the door to her past - except, what if there are no more doors available to her?

I found Catie's experience and narrative so enlightening and eye-opening. She delves into her feelings of belonging with her family, but still wanting to be grounded by her roots. I liked her venture into relearning Mandarin, talks of PTSD around learning English as a child, and her feelings around religion and both her blood and adopted families. This book found many ways to show how one might be able to get plugged back into their roots - through language, through family, and even through genealogy reports at a Mormon church. I loved that it was not just a fictional love story, but also a bit of a manual for those who might be in the same position as the author and Catie were.

Toby is such a sweet summer child, and I adored his kind heart and enthusiasm. I loved his character and appreciated the ways him and Catie fit together as they became friends. Her felt very real and multifaceted and I appreciated learning from him too.

I feel like Catie's relationship with everyone other than Toby was a little bit sparse, and though I loved how her sister and cousin really for her, I feel like we never got to know them that well, which felt like a missed opportunity to dig into some of the other things the book touched on.

All in all, this book was a deep dive into the world and feelings of an adoptee and I loved learning with Catie throughout the story. Her voice felt so real, and young, and I wonder if there's space to see more about her in the future, just saying!

TW: micro-aggressions, religious bigotry, religious trauma, grief; mentions death of a parent, death of a sibling, homophobia, lesbophobia

Plot: 5/5
Characters: 4/5
World Building: 5/5
Writing: 4.5/5
Pacing: 4/5
Overall: 4.5/5

Finished copy gifted via Colored Pages Book Tours by Penguin Teen in exchange for an honest review.

[Alecia (aleciareadsitall) · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Catie, you’re my first love language.”

There was so much to love about this sweet YA romance. The main character Catie, was thoughtful, loving, and kind. She held her beliefs and her convictions close and I loved her inner monologue. Although very YA, the romance was very sweet and I loved the ease with which Catie and Toby melded into each other’s lives. There were some cheesy but cute lines that I really loved.

The sister relationship between Mavis and Catie was realistically portrayed, full of teenage angst misunderstandings, and I loved seeing how the two of them grew together by the end of the novel.

The themes around adoption/adoptive families/bio parents were so beautifully done, and I loved the authors note at the end where Valentine discussed her inspiration from the story and what was pulled from her own life. The complex feelings around not wanting to disappoint her adoptive mother by sharing her desire to know her biological mother really tugged at the heartstrings and showed the complexities of situations like Catie’s.

[Fizah(Books tales by me) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Actual Rating 3.5

THANKS TO PENGUIN WORKSHOP FOR THIS PHYSICAL ARC IN EXCHANGE FOR A HONEST REVIEW.

Catie, a Taiwanese American, moved to the US after her parents divorced. Father remarried and her stepmother adopted her. Her white American family loves her, and she also cares about them. Still, she find herself thinking and missing her biological mom and Taiwanese culture. Due to unfortunate circumstances, her family had to move to Utah where she met Toby and opportunity to reconnect with her roots. She doesn't want to lose this opportunity and she is ready to lie to avail this chance.

I like Toby's character the most, he was such a pure soul. I really enjoyed all of Catie and Toby's scenes. I also like Catie's relationship with her parents. How she was a responsible elder sister and daughter. The story tried to cover a lot of things, the feelings of an adoptee, how some people still judge other ethnicities, and how forced religion can harm children. For me the strongest link of the story was Mavis and Rayleigh, I found their character pretty flat. Catie and Mavis's bond was also weird and one-dimensional. For me, Toby and Catie were the best part of the book. I found the ending a bit abrupt, a little clarification would have made it more realistic. Overall, a light and nice read.

[Oviya · Rating 4 out of 5]

"You're my love language"

[Rosh (on a medical break) · Rating 1 out of 5]

In a Nutshell: A YA “romantic dramedy” (Official label.) This didn’t work for me in any way: plot, writing, characters, agenda, realism, romance, drama. The only thing I liked other than the cover was the Taiwan rep. It hurts me to rant about a debut OwnVoices book, and I tried my best not to, but I just can’t recommend such a poorly written book that sends the wrong message to youngsters.

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Plot Preview:

Seventeen-year-old Catie Carlson, a half-white half-Taiwanese girl, doesn’t remember much about her birth mother. Her parents divorced when she was just five and her father moved with her to the USA, and later remarried a white single mother. After his death two years ago, Catie feels like she has no family of her own, even though her adoptive mother – her father’s second wife – treats Catie with the same love as she does her own daughter.
When Catie stumbles into an opportunity to learn Mandarin from a young co-worker at the summer spa, she grabs the chance, even if it means teaching him how to date in exchange for the Mandarin lessons. So what if Catie herself is not a dating expert? She can surely fake it. Using her late father’s copy of “The Five Love Languages” and his annotated notes, Catie becomes a dating coach to Toby. But as she helps him get closer to his crush, she realises that she too might be in danger of a one-sided love.
The story comes to us in Catie’s first-person perspective.

Almost every YA novel I read doesn’t work for me. The exceptions are far and few between. This has nothing to do with the fact that I am decades older than the YA age group. If the age criterion were that important, I would have hated even middle-grade and children’s fiction, which I don’t. So before you come at me for raining on the parade of a debut YA work and for attacking a book not meant for my age range, know that I don’t enjoy doing this. I always try hard to think of positives, but while reading this book, the only thing I felt in common with the FMC is the repeated urge to say “Ugh!”


Bookish Yays:
😍 The cover.


Bookish Okays:
🤔 The Taiwan rep, at least on paper. Practically, we barely learn anything about Taiwan as Catie herself is blank about its culture. Then again, it is always nice to see rep from a country underrepresented in fiction.

🤔 “The Five Love Languages” and its representation in the title and the planned dates. I like how Catie’s Dad supposedly read the book but added his own annotations when he found the content problematic. But we don’t get to see any of the annotations, nor do we get an actual experience of the five love languages. Catie is supposed to plan her fake dates with Toby around these five concepts, but we don’t see her do any planning at all.

🤔 The genealogy subplot – whereby Catie tries to search for possible Taiwanese family members – has potential, but it is too convenient in its development and disappointing in its eventual progress.


Bookish Nays:
🙄 The “romantic dramedy” label. The romance is corny, the drama is on hyper mode, and the comedy is almost non-existent.

🙄 Catie. Not at all a likeable character to me, what with her constant lying, incessant whining, wilful ignorance of anything not directly connected to her, and lack of concern for her adoptive mom’s financial struggles. Her central topics were Toby, makeup, her “biological mother”, and the loss of her Taiwanese heritage. The first-person POV from such an egocentric character can be exhausting.

🙄 Though there are some solid secondary characters, their portrayal is almost unidimensional. We don’t get to see Catie’s genuine connection with any of them beyond some perfunctory scenes. I wish there had been more depth to all the characters (including Catie.)

🙄 The repetition of Catie’s insecurity over being “adopted” and not having connection to her Taiwanese family. Catie is half-white! And she had her birth father throughout her life; she was adopted by him and his new wife. I just don’t understand her need to distort these truths. Moreover, she keeps referring to her birth mother either by her name or as “my biological mom”, both of which sound artificial.

🙄 The book tries to offer several facts about various issues (Mormonism, Mandarin,…) but these are incorporated in an unrealistic way, usually through a character’s conversation that is full of infodumping. Quite a few dialogues sound unnatural as a result.

🙄 The convenient plot development. Catie’s finding a job, finding a Mandarin tutor, finding a genealogy expert at the local church, finding a hit on the genealogy site… everything is super easy and quick!

🙄 Toby. He might be a green flag for youngsters, but he is unbelievably perfect, which makes him a Nay for me as he sets totally unrealistic expectations about potential partners. A guy who is hot, has purple hair, works as a cosmetologist, cooks excellently, speaks Mandarin fluently,… Even when he discovers a major mistake committed by Catie, he is instantly forgiving of her. Not to forget the instant turnaround of his feelings for his original crush.

🙄 The anti-Mormon sentiment, which took me by surprise as I didn’t expect any religious content in this book. The depiction of Mormonism is very lopsided and stereotypical.

🙄 The excessive focus on looks and makeup.

🙄 The trope-y agenda and excessive social commentary. It was a checklist inclusion again, with one trans, one lesbian, one pansexual, and one nonbinary character. (I hope I didn’t miss out on any ace representation while I was rolling my eyes.) Inclusion is essential but it should also be realistic.

🙄 After all that build-up about wanting to reconnect with her biological family, we don’t even get proper closure.


Essentially, I didn’t dislike this book because it was a YA Romance. I disliked it because it was a poorly written book.

Should I be a bit generous because it's a YA book and I'm not a fan of the genre? I wish I could, but it won't be right. A higher rating means I'm telling YA readers that this is the kind of book I want them to read, that this manipulative and whiny behaviour is ‘the accepted normal’ for their generation, that they can behave the way they want and still get away scot-free without an apology or recompense, that self-obsession is fine, that accountability doesn't matter, that it is okay to ignore all the blessings you have in your life just to whine about what you don’t have. As Catie would say: “Ugh.'

To any young Taiwanese youngsters whom this book helps feel seen, I am truly most happy for you. And to anyone who might still want to read this, I encourage you to read the other reviews, especially the ones written by younger readers, and take a call on this debut work. But I cannot rate a book higher just because it has OwnVoices rep and is based on a heartfelt personal experience.

1 star.


My thanks to Penguin Young Readers Group for providing the DRC of “First Love Language” via NetGalley. This review is voluntary and contains my honest opinion about the book. Sorry this didn’t go better for me.



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I follow the Goodreads rating policy:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Lifelong favourite!
⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I loved the book.
⭐⭐⭐ - I liked the book.
⭐⭐ - I found the book average.
⭐ - I hated the book.
The decimals indicate the degree of the in-between feelings.

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Connect with me through:
My Blog || The StoryGraph || Instagram || Facebook ||

[Swati · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this book doen once I started it and finished it in one day 😭
I fell in love with Catie's story from the very beginning - her desire to learn more about her culture and find her biological mom really resonated with me. And then there's Toby... 🤭 Their romance is adorable and I loved watching them grow and learn together. What I appreciated most about this book is how it tackles tough topics like grief, family, and identity in a way that feels authentic and relatable. The writing is beautiful and engaging, and I found myself highlighting so many quotes and passages that spoke to me.

Overall, I highly recommend First Love Language to anyone looking for a heartwarming and beautiful read. It's a debut novel that will stay with me for a long time.

Thank you so much prh international for sending me an arc!

[aberryzen · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book had so much potential (and i'm such a sucker for "let me teach you how to date" romances)

the actual love language dates were really cute but somehow we went from fluttery crush feelings to full blown love declarations that had me side-eyeing the characters. like. y'all. there was no development for the intimacy that is required for love?? and the romance wasn't even that intense at that point?? the book needed to be longer for the development of the romance to feel more authentic

what did get proper pacing was the adoptee/tracing family roots storyline, which i appreciated.

[Gemma R.]

Dec 19, 2023
Came across this author and her book via Twitter and I couldn’t be happier for the advice she gave me 💗

[Jasmine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review: 4 stars

First Love Language is a debut novel by Stefany Valentine, which explores the life of a biracial teenager, Catie and the struggles she faces in her cultural identity. Her parents divorced, and she and her dad moved to the USA when she was young. She lost touch with her Taiwanese mother. It also doesn’t help that her dad passed away two years ago due to cancer…The book begins with her step-mum, Andrea, a caucasian Mormon who is uprooting Catie and her step-sister, Mavis, from SD to Utah, as she has lost her job and can no longer afford to keep her place, changing their lives drastically. Catie ends up finding a summer job at a spa and meets Toby, who is proficient in Mandarin. When an unexpected situation leads to Toby teaching her Mandarin in exchange for teaching him how to get the girl he likes, and forcing her to lie about her circumstances, will this end up as a recipe for disaster?

Catie and Toby’s relationship is sweet and awkwardly adorable. They started as strangers who became friends and slowly fell for each other as they spent more time together. Moreover, this was also about Catie’s journey as she discovers her heritage, relearning Mandarin to rediscover her Taiwanese roots and hopes to reconnect with her biological mother, whom she lost touch with many years ago. The chapter titles were such a cute bonus. The supporting characters, in the form of Andrea, her stepmum; Mavis, her stepsister; and Rayleigh, her cousin, added depth to the storyline while weaving side stories that interconnect with the main narrative and drawing from it.

This story is a great diversity read - it builds on themes such as the struggle to embrace one's cultural identity, having lost so much of it while growing up, first love, friendship, family love, religion, LGBTQ+ issues, and the struggles and trauma one can face when relearning their language. The refreshing take on using the five love languages in the form of dates is so cute and refreshing, such as the use of gift-giving in the form of boba and the concept of cooking as an act of service.

Overall, it is a sweet and wonderful YA read where Stefany captures the essence of the core themes that the book explores - it felt like the author created a beautiful love letter to herself, capturing the struggles an adoptee teenager may face on the cusp of adulthood.

Thank you, Penguin Teen Canada for the physical arc of this book.

[Yolanda | yolandaannmarie.reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

[arc review]
Thank you to Penguin Teen Canada for providing an arc in exchange for an honest review.
First Love Language releases January 14, 2025

2.5

Due to financial hardships, Catie is forced to move from San Diego to Utah with her stepmother and stepsister.

After losing her father, Catie has reached a time in her life where she’s looking to learn more about her biological mother and her Taiwanese heritage.
Helping her rediscover her roots, is her new co-worker Toby. In exchange for teaching Toby how to date, Toby will give Catie free Mandarin lessons.

As a biracial reader, it’s always special to come across stories where the biracial main character explores parts of their identity and reconnects with their culture — I truly saw a lot of myself in Catie and sympathized with her as she was grieving.
That being said, I had a hard time getting fully invested due to the heavy-handed Mormon/religious undertones. Had there been any indication of this in the blurb, I likely wouldn’t have chosen to read it.

Overall, this was cute. I loved the parallels between the five love languages, and language as a form of communication.
For some reason, I think this would’ve been so good set in the early 2000s!

One thing I would like to make a note of is how the narrative navigated queerness and inclusion. I think Valentine did a great job portraying Mavis, Rayleigh, and Alex’s identities in their Mormon community, but going out of the way to mention that Catie could see Alex’s top surgery scars through the arm hole of their shirt upon first meeting them felt too intrusive when their nonbinary pronouns would’ve sufficed. I really don’t think it’s necessary for a reader to know what is underneath the clothes of a teen side character.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this YA debut about a biracial teen girl trying to track down her birth mother in the wake of her white father's death. This gave off a bit of Cinderella mixed with Jenny Han vibes and I really enjoyed it!! There was miscommunication (a fake boyfriend), an exchange of language lessons for dating lessons and lots of focus on identity and heritage. I also really enjoyed the way the author wove the Five Love Languages book into the story, expanding and updating the author's original intent of a widely popular self-help book. Great on audio too! I look forward to reading more by Stefany Valentine!! Many thanks to @prhaudio for a complimentary ALC in exchange for my honest review!

[sel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Colored Pages Book Tours, Penguin Teen and Stefany Valentine for sending me a physical copy of this book!

I really enjoyed this book! Catie does make some mistakes and can be a bit messy, but with what she has gone through, you understand why she made the choices she did. This does not excuse it, and I’m glad she took accountability for it. I think this story will really resonate with adoptees since so much was touched upon, when it comes to secretly wishing to know your biological parents to feeling a disconnect from your culture. I think the book really highlighted how meaningful it is to reconnect with your culture. I do think her conversation with her mom could’ve been a bit longer, but I overall do like how it was resolved.

The romance was so cute! I love the idea of dates based around the love languages and think it’s such a fun concept. Toby, the love interest, tutored her in Mandarin, and in exchange, she tutored him in love. Toby was very sweet, and I love how their relationship developed!

I also really appreciate the important discussions throughout the book surrounding identity, adoptees, family, grief and religion. I didn’t know too much about Mormon culture, and the book featured her conservative relatives but also included how it is being queer and growing up Mormon (her sister, Mavis, is pan). I think this rep will mean a lot to people who have gone through this as well.

I do think the ending was a bit abrupt and would’ve loved to learn even more about her family, but I do like how the book ended very on a very hopeful note. Catie had been through so much, so being able to be happy and hopeful by the end of the book is something that I think will bring comfort to those who understand her journey.

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute YA romance. Some of the content makes me feel old and its dealings with different religions feel a little half-baked, but maybe that was due to edits. Not perfect, but enjoyable for what it is.

[Keanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Me when I’m biased because I’m also mixed race and living in Utah, so I give a book 4 stars.

But also the line “you’re my first love language” is enough to instantly K.O. anybody, I think.

Gonna have to eat concrete after how sweet this one was.

[Sophia]

That was… illogical

[vivi ₊˚ෆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ☆

[Ayushi (bookwormbullet) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars rounded up

[nandini · Rating 4 out of 5]

thank you to colored pages book tour for this arc!

first, a moment of silence for the cover, because this is truly a work of art.

i am soo in love with every single aspect of this book. from the writing, to the characters, to the romance, to adoptee representation, everything. there was so many different things that were represented in this book that made me remember why i love reading. it's to be transported into another world yes, but it's also to learn about different aspects of life and how diverse our world is. catie, our main character, is an adoptee and this whole book is her learning more about her bio family and culture; essentially finding more about her identity. reading about her journey and all the complex things she goes through was so beautifully put. it's also shown how she has PTSD from learning english as a child and ugh everything thats written in this book is done so amazingly. i truly loved seeing the representation of everything.

i absolutely ADORED her relationship with toby, it was soooooo wholesome!! he is such a cutie little ball of sunshine and all the practice dates they go on, and how he taught her mandarin, ahh they drove me insaneee i need a toby so bad. i loved how she was able to be herself around him, soo cute.

while i may not be taiwanese or an adoptee, there were other aspects of catie then i related to such as being an older sister and some of the struggles she went through. thats a thing the author does really well, is that she makes her characters relatable on some on the other aspect.

overall, i had such a good time reading about catie's journey, this was SUCH a good read!! can't wait to read more from this author :)

________

pre review thoughts: i'm so deeply in love with this book. and toby.

[Rubi · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book gave me a complex of emotions. While I know not all Christians are like the ones portrayed in the book, I also know people have been through similar situations as Catie by so called Christians and that Mormon's are particular about their rules. So I felt this was pretty true to some peoples' experiences and shows that maybe we should all just be more accepting and more kind.
The MC also was going through identity issues and feeling accepted. Being part Taiwanese, but not growing up with any knowledge of her culture made her feel like she was Asain nor American. She felt like she was missing something by not knowing Chinese or anything about her mother's culture. She also wasn't sure why her mother didn't care to be a part of life. All that on top of losing her home and moving to a place that was less diverse than her Californian home.
She found friendship and acceptance with her coworker Toby. In exchange for Mandarin lessons, she promises to help him snag the girl he's crushing on. But as they grow close, she grows scared he'll figure out that she's not experienced in love and that maybe....maybe she doesn't want him with another girl.
Their relationship was so cute and I loved how Catie was around him, how she got closer to her cousin and mother and just grew to accept herself with also opening up to new experiences. Such a beautiful story of family, love, and both acceptance and self discovery. Overall enjoyed this one 😊

[Nicole · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This is a very cute, emotional little novel about finding yourself amidst the chaos. Super easy to read. While I did find the pacing to be off at times, I found the ending to be fulfilling. The characters feel real (who hasn't frozen up when confronted by a crush before?), absolutely lovable, and deserve all the good things.

Rating: 3.5

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

would make a cute movie!!

[Royal · Rating 2 out of 5]

Stefany Valentine’s First Love Language is a YA romance fiction novel told from the perspective of Catie, an Asian American who goes on a journey to reconnect with her Taiwanese culture by learning her mother tongue, Mandarin. She goes on practice dates with her tutor, Toby, exchanging language lessons from him for teaching him how to communicate and win over his crush.

This novel is told from the first person perspective, and the Catie’s constant negative thoughts, fixation over micro-details, and little white lies are exhausting to read through - overall, not a likeable character to be following through the course of the story. It was also cringey that one of the catalysts for her learning Mandarin was discovering an old copy of her dad’s gift to her, Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, which she brands as a feminist textbook - in actuality, I’ve also read this very real book and found the content to be pretty outdated and somewhat problematic. But I digress as this is a minor detail that seem relevant in the context of how she trades her love advice (despite barely having any romance experience herself!) for language lessons.

I also found the dialogue between the characters to be unrealistic and couldn’t stop thinking, “people don’t talk like this” while reading the book - and this is in terms of both cadence, vocab, and sentence structure, which is a little ironic considering the subject matter of the book.

I was hoping that I would be able to relate to this book because like the protagonist, I also grew up in a diverse, Asian/ASAM populated area and later moved to a city with less Asian Americans and also pursued learning my mother tongue as a result, similar to how the protagonist moved from San Diego to Utah. I’m also quite vested in learning about Taiwanese culture. I wish I liked this book more and ultimately I do think it is a win to have more Asian American representation in books and culture, even if I didn’t quite enjoy the book. The author is on the right track with the premise of this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin for providing an eARC for review.