Api’s Berlin Diaries: My Quest to Understand My Grandfather’s Nazi Past

by Gabrielle Robinson

Moving and provocative, Api's Berlin Diaries offers a personal perspective on the German experience in World War II and the far-reaching aftershocks of the Third Reich.

After her mother's death, Robinson was thrilled to find her beloved grandfather's diaries - only to discover that he had been a Nazi. The diaries show Api, a doctor in Berlin, trying to help the wounded in bunkers without water or light. Living in the ruins, he himself was near collapse. As Robinson retraces Api's steps half a century later, she tries to come up with answers to why he joined the Nazi party and reflect on German guilt while also remembering the happiest years of her childhood with him.

This moving memoir offers a timely reminder that we all need to reckon with our countries' pasts and treat each other with compassion and tolerance, no matter how different we are.

PLEASE When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

Genres: Memoir, History, World War II, Nonfiction

Audible Audio

Published February 23, 2022

Reviews

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I approached this thinking it'd be similar to A Woman in Berlin: 8 Weeks in a Conquered City. That was quite literally the diary of a woman in conquered Berlin. This was completely different. This author was simply trying to come to terms with the fact that her gentle, caring, selfless grandfather once was a member of one of the most genocidal regimes in humanity's history. Considering the author is nearing her 80's and is still wanting to tell and understand her grandfather's story, speaks of her immense love for him. She gives a LOT of detailed history going back decades, setting the stage for how the Holocaust and the Nazis were even able to happen.

Like most of her generation, Robinson grew up never hearing firsthand accounts of the war from her grandparents. This didn't save her from experiencing the consequences though. The most memorable is when a fellow student told her, "You made soap out of my aunt." I think a lot of what she says apples to the current political and social stresses in the US today. She speaks of using love and compassion to look beyond the politics and see the heart of the individual. In a climate of "you're a Republican therefore you must also be a racist" or "you're a Democrat so you must hate America", she gives an excellent illustration of why you can't make judgements of a group based on the actions of individual. Not sure I worded that well, but I took her message as "not all members of a group are the same". We tend to look at "the Nazis" and think of one monochromatic group of the same evil purpose. It's easy to forget that many were forced into service. Many didn't have a choice - it was either join or die with your family. To me, that's not much of a choice when you're looking at your involvement children depending on you for survival.

It was so freaking difficult to rate this book. I only give 5 stars for books I can't put down, 4 stars for books I could put down but still really enjoyed, and 3 stars for books I didn't love but also didn't hate. This book is somewhere between 3 and 4. She does a great job of putting her grandfather in a sympathetic light without making excuses for his decisions. Her message is relevant. I feel almost disrespectful giving this a 3, but I just could not get into it enough for a 4. ALSO - no books outside textbooks should have 62 chapters. Good Lord, why.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a memoir unlike anything I’ve ever read. I also had to read this in parts, sit down, digest it and then pick it up again.

I think we read so much WWII fiction from a certain side we fail to see there are other sides to it. In this memoir, the author finds her beloved grandfathers diary of his time as an eye surgeon and a Nazi. The author never heard firsthand accounts from her grandfather- only reading about his service in his diary.
The author travels to Berlin to the places mentioned in the diary revealing the wars scars. She also goes back home where she lived with her grandparents following the war.

I loved that the author spoke of love and compassion. Many Nazis were forced into service and didn’t have a choice- how sad.

I loved the history of this book and the love the author has for her grandfather. If your looking for a memoir that has history and pulls at your heart definitely read this! Pub date is September 15th!

Thanks to @booksforwardpr for my gifted ebook copy!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

“If we accept the notion that we are all responsible for the acts of our government, that we are all politically guilty, we need to become more humane toward all around us and learn to forgive others, as well as ourselves.”

I’m going to be honest here. This was an incredibly hard book to read. This is a scary time in our world and revisiting another scary part of history was a bit overwhelming, so even though this published yesterday, it took me an extra day to get my thoughts together.

This book, part memoir, part history, was a slow read because there was so much to take in. I cannot imagine being in Robinson’s shoes and discovering my beloved grandfather’s Nazi history. I think her honesty and insight is something that could benefit us all.

I think it’s always important to hear people’s stories, even the ones you may not like. If you like history and/or memoirs, I recommend reading this one. I know it will sit with me for a long time.

I received an advanced copy in exchange for my review.

[Kim Witzak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story. I thought it would be about how she was horrified to discover that her grandfather was a nazi. It was more about the man she knew as her grandfather and the questions she still has. The story has info on him from her diaries but also how he was with her as a child. Very interesting.

[172763 · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Holocaust is one of the most devastating, troubling failures of human kind in the twentieth century.

Gabrielle Robinson attempts to encapsulate a human aspect of the Holocaust in a way that’s personal to her. Specifically, uncovering her grandfather’s Nazi past and his voluntary enlistment with the Nazi party.

Though not a soldier sent to the front lines, Robinson’s grandfather served as an eye doctor in Germany, a kind and gentle man that Robinson goes to great pains to wrestle with how the memories and vision of the grandfather she has could be so tied up in the grand scope of the horrors of Nazi Germany. As a German herself, Robinson goes to great pains to try and reason through the nuance of what this could mean for an everyday German, what explanations could possibly be given and how the German people themselves made these every day decisions.

Yet even with this nuance, it was particularly difficult for me to swallow. Robinson goes in excruciating pains not to excuse the deeply troubling implications that her grandfather’s willingness in signing up for the Nazi party means from a historical perspective yet is invariably biased by virtue of him being her grandfather – a man who was by all accounts kind, gentle and loving and yet aligned himself with a party that systematically murdered millions. An apathy towards the plights of the Jewish people along with the other millions who were murdered at the hands of ordinary Germans makes separating the party and the person that much more difficult for me, one that Robinson herself seems to recognize as difficult.

Filled with nuance and a deep self-reflection, Api’s Berlin Diaries would be best suited for someone interested in learning more about the perspective of every day Germans living and working not just under, but for the Nazi party. I found that for me, I could not help but think of the millions of lives members of the Nazi party destroyed.

[Story Circle Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a granddaughter, Gabrielle Robinson is thrilled to have her grandfather’s diaries in her keeping. However, as she reads them she is disturbed and puzzled by what she finds. Her beloved Api, a doctor who served during the fall of Berlin in 1945, was a Nazi. How could that be? How could this sweet, loving, man be a part of the horrific history of Germany? And how big a role did he play?

Ms. Robinson writes vividly of the difficulties of living through World War II, during which Api lived in deplorable conditions. It took courage to write the account of her grandfather’s difficult life, and Robinson delves into every detail of her dear Api’s diaries.

From the times when the whole family was together through the dreadful days of being separated, they would all experience the bombing, the prejudices, and the persecutions of this time in history. On the most difficult days, the only thing that kept Api going was writing letters, desperately hoping they would reach a surviving loved one. That, and his precious diaries.

As a child Gabrielle doesn’t understand what is happening around her. She misses her grandfather, and yet, when they finally reunite, she is very much afraid of the man who returns to them.

Robinson's story brings up questions in my own life. What would I do if I were confronted with a situation that is obviously wrong and possibly evil? How would I feel about a member of my own family who played such a questionable role during such a dark period of history? I don’t have an answer to these questions. I have compassion for Gabrielle Robinson’s struggle to understand her grandfather’s life.

This is not a book I will forget any time soon. The story and the questions stay with me.

This book was reviewed for Story Circle Book Reviews by Doris Clark.

[Julianne Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have so many thoughts about this book. I spent a semester and a summer in Germany in college and earned a major in German. I’m fascinated by German history, and this book offered fascinating insight into a normal man’s experiences during an impossible time.

First, I want more books like this. We have seen so much fiction and nonfiction about WWII, but relatively little exploring the emotional after effects.

Second, even though I’m not sure I agree with everything the author said about her grandfather’s choices, I love the way she told the story.

Finally, I want to talk about the solid writing and uniqueness of the memoir topic. I didn’t rush through this one; I read it slowly and even stopped and put it down for a week before finishing. I wanted to mull parts of it over. I encourage anyone reading this one to take their time and let some chapters percolate if needed.

Even if you’re not interested in WWII history, this is an interesting memoir just from a family dynamic perspective.


I highly recommend! Thank you @booksforwardpr for my complimentary copy!

[Annette · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Thoughts:
I've read a long list of World War II books. These books are about the Holocaust, German children's experiences, Army nurses, American soldiers, Adolf Hitler, the Nuremberg trials, the Pacific War, nurses and civilians in Japanese prison camps, Japan's invasion of China, the rape and slaughter of Nanking, the war in Europe, civilians, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, D-Day Omaha Beach, Jewish women who married Nazi Germans, Christians who rescued Jews, Christians who wrote pamphlets against Nazi Germany, Christian pastors and priests who preached against Nazi Germany, the rebuilding of Germany post war, the Resistance, spying and espionage during the war, and how the next generation of Germans have come to terms with the war.
In an account like Api's Berlin Diaries, the author is sharing their personal and private family history in print. And, during the course of the memoir, the reader is given the author's thoughts, feelings, realizations, insights, and wrestling with making peace with each new discovery.
Gabrielle Robinson wants to discover her parents and grandparent's history during World War II. What was their experiences? What was their role in the war? To what extent did they know about the Holocaust?
Robinson was a small child during the war. Her memories are brief. One memory is she and her mother are at a Berlin train station that is crowded with people.
Robinson's family didn't talk about the war except in whispers.
The title of the book and the synopsis gave me the understanding it was about Robinson's search for who her grandfather was during the war. But, I knew in my heart this was a book about self-discovery. It is a book about understanding where Robinson had come from (family lineage)? Who her family was outside of their family roles? And lastly, how does Robinson deal with the heavy weight of guilt and shame?
Api's Berlin Diaries covers about 6 months at the end of the war and the summer after its end. Api was in Berlin at the end of the war. He was a physician in the military.
Excerpts from the diary are included in the book.
Black and white photographs are included in the book.

Several reasons I love this story:
~The author and her family traveled to the places mentioned by her grandfather in his diary. I saw through her eyes these places plus her thoughts about what she viewed. I felt as if I traveled along side her.
~The book is more than just about her grandfather. It is a book about the other members in her family.
~The book is a way for Robinson to unpack memories and come to terms in someway. She is trying to make peace with her past which is something many of us do when we get older.
~A personal and harrowing account of Berlin at the end of the war.
~I love how Robinson paired her grandfather's memories to the documented history of those events.
~I love Robinson's reading and research of World War II and Nazi Germany.
~Robinson gave other examples of people who will not talk about their feelings or role during the war.

Final Thoughts:
Robinson included some of her grandfather's prayers. I felt this was especially heart-wrenching and touching.
Robinson's grandfather was in the German military and was a member of the Nazi Party. He was an eye surgeon. He was not in combat. He did not take an active part in the murder of Jews. But, he was a member of the people group who did these atrocities.
To an extent Robinson answered many of the questions that began her journey of discovery. What I have learned as I've grown older is some questions can not be answered. This life is messy and complicated. And, sometimes we will not have an answer to the why.

It's been 21 years ago that my family and I traveled to Europe. It was a trip of a life time. We visited many of the places my dad had been because he was in the American Army during World War II. Dad was a D-Day Veteran. He was a Veteran of the Battle of the Bulge. He was even captured by Germans and was a POW. My brother-in-law had met friends when he was in the Army and stationed in Germany, 1960-1964. These friends were a family that treated him like family. It was arranged for us to meet together at a restaurant for dinner. They didn't speak English. My brother-in-law was the only one of us who spoke German. I understood a few words because I took German in high school. If you can imagine the mixed assortment of our group. An older woman who was a German citizen during the war. Her adult children. My dad an American Veteran. And, the rest of our group. We wanted desperately to communicate with one another, but the language gap and the uncertainty of what to say hung about our heads like bulging cartoon captions. Yet, we all eventually settled down to a delicious meal and an interpreted conversation. My dad told me later he didn't have hard feelings against those people. He told me not to judge. He said, "Annette, you don't know their personal stories or what they endured. You don't know the memories they live with."
Source: I received a complimentary paperback (advanced reader copy) from She Writes Press. I was not required to write a positive review.

[Mary Lister · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having read Gabrielle Robinson's The Reluctant Nazi, the first book where she discovered that her grandfather, Api, was a Nazi, I wondered how much more she could tell us. But I was surprised to see how detailed her Api's diaries were, and how well she explained his circumstances. Api was a doctor doing his job away from the concentration camps. He had to become a Nazi party member in order to stay in his country. The reader, and I believe the author, is never totally sure if Api knows of the horrible atrocities going on, but one hopes he did not know.
I was immediately pulled into the story and wanted to keep reading through to the end. I kept thinking how brave and sacrificing this man was to go hungry and without clean clothes and water and even shelter during much of the war. Yes, he was a Nazi party member, but perhaps he felt it was the only way he could remain in the war zone and carry out his promise to heal the sick and wounded. I'm not sure what any of us would have done in the same situation.
Robinson does an excellent job of going from war to present day and back by giving descriptions of exact locations in Berlin during the war, and also current day descriptions from visits she has recently taken. The photographs included are well documented and interesting.
What struck me most was how the questions which arise from this story still relate to situations in our world today. How can we ever repair the damage done to the Jews and many others during the Holocaust? In what way can we speak to those families who are left and who still know the wrongs that were done? What about the Native Americans in the United States who in many battles lost the land and homes they knew? And the question of so many years of slavery and the atrocities done to those humans. Do we have an obligation to them, and if so, how can we fulfill it. Is there such a thing as reparations or are there only attempts to repair.
A war of any kind leaves loss and scars on all, no matter for what side they are fighting. It also leaves many unanswered questions. Whether or not we can answer them, they should at least be addressed, considered, discussed, and perhaps the burden is lessened a tiny bit just knowing that others care.
Robinson takes us on her personal journey but brings into it a larger perspective. I highly recommend Api's Berlin Diaries.  

[Dori Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a powerful, challenging journey into the mind of a man most of us have never imagined: a Nazi party member who was loving and compassionate. Given the horrors Hitler inflicted, it seems impossible to imagine a good man supporting him, yet many did. Why? And to what extent do they deserve guilt, too, despite whatever suffering they went through?
Robinson boldly faces these heart-wrenching questions in this book, which is based on her grandfather’s diaries she discovered late in her life. She fondly remembers her grandfather, whom she called Api, as kind, caring, responsible, hard-working, and fun-loving. She has happy memories of how he helped raise her during Germany’s lean years after the war. So she was shocked to discover he had joined the Nazi party in 1933, just after Hitler consolidated power.
The diaries at the heart of this book reveal Api’s inner turmoil in the months before and after the fall of Berlin, when relentless bombing turned his beloved, cultured city into rubble, with starvation, dead bodies everywhere, typhoid, and hopelessness. A once-confident doctor is reduced to indecisiveness and confusion as his medical skills become useless in the chaos. He longs for reunion with his family, who have relocated to a safer town. As a reader, I could not help feeling compassion.
And yet, and yet—he was a Nazi. Robinson presents prominent thinkers’ views on German guilt and reveals her own agonizing questions: To what extent were educated, conservative men like Api responsible for bringing Hitler to power? How could Api continue to attend church services and hold strong to his Christian faith while staying silent on the persecution of the Jews? To what extent are the author and her generation of post-war Germans responsible for holding their forebears accountable?
Although the author, now a U.S. citizen, does not mention it, I could not help but draw comparisons to America today and the dangers of creeping autocracy. That’s what makes this book highly relevant. Should I feel guilt about the torture of prisoners at Guantanamo, or the abuse at Abu Ghraib—because my tax dollars supported them? Keeping silent, failing to call out immoral policies, focusing on our private lives. Could that become cause for future generations to curse us?

[Mel Laytner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Trying to balance her the warm memories of her grandfather with the shocking revelation of his Nazi past, Robinson's memoir blends history, memory and personal reflection into a thoughtful, thought provoking book.

Robinson uses diaries and letters her "Api" had written to recount the last days of Nazi Germany. Russian artillery and rockets were reducing Berlin to a wasteland. There was little food or water. Thousands died. In his diaries and letters, Robinson's grandfather, an eye surgeon, recounts his narrows escapes from death, and, in the months immediately after the war, of surviving starvation while seeking work and rebuilding his life

Throughout the book, Robinson returns to her central dilemma: how to square the humaneness of the loving man she remembered with the fact that he had joined the Nazi party in 1933--and remained a Nazi officer through the war. Robinson early on writes that there was never any hint that her Api participated in the genocide of the Holocaust. She has accepted his claims that he knew nothing of the genocide or death camps.

But he was definitely aware of the growing hate campaigns, seizures of property, public humiliations, marginalization and isolation of an entire segment of the population. This leads to a deep examination of personal and collective guilt, of what the German people knew and did, and what they did not do. She invokes the Prussian ideal of order and service to the country, of her Api's military training and service during World War I. She quotes historians, philosophers, and personal memoirs to explain the insidious control of total authoritarian rule and the paralyzing fear the Nazis instilled in the population.

This all must have been painful to write and it is painful to read. While not justifying or excusing her grandfather's choices, Robinson seeks to put them into a context not often examined in post-war literature.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of meeting author Gabrielle Robinson at a local author fair. In Api’s Berlin Diaries, Robinson reveals that, unbeknownst to her until later in life, her grandfather—whom she cherished and loved dearly—was a member of the Nazi Party. But as Gabrielle came to understand and helps readers understand, people joined the Nazi Party for many reasons, and not all members were fervent, goose-stepping radicals saluting their maniacal leader. Many were ordinary people who went about their lives never once participating in any Party activities.

From journal entries, we gain a glimpse of what life was like for Api (the author’s grandfather) in Berlin during the latter part of World War II and the first few months after Germany surrendered. Through the lens of Api’s diaries, we sympathize with his atrocious living conditions, his difficulty finding work, his near-starvation diet, and his struggles with guilt and self-doubt, and we root for him to be reunited with his family.

But the author has a difficult time reconciling the man who was more like a father to her being a member of the Nazi Party. Even if he didn’t play an active role in the atrocities the Nazis inflicted on millions of their fellow human beings, does Api’s inactivity or complacency make him just as guilty? On the other hand, those who tried to speak out against the horrors surely would’ve faced a similar fate. It’s a thought-provoking read that makes you wonder: What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? It’s a reminder to have compassion and always put yourself in others’ shoes before rushing to judgment.

[jmilesc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. I’m glad I read it, it’s a unique view of an essentially non-political Nazi’s experience in Berlin at the end of the war. It raises a lot of questions for me.
Apparently- Hitler initially presented himself as promoting Christian values- a ‘man of God’- and concerned for the good of the people and unless one had read Mein Kampf, one may not have known his character? It does make me think about today’s climate- Trump’s holding up a Bible, spouting some Christian-ese while his character is plain to see… and yet he has his supporters. What the heck? it really does confuse me. So- what’s the accountability for his supporters? What was Api’s accountability? I had some sympathy for him- the book mentions that railroad workers- to have a railroad state job, one had to join the party. If we are out living our lives, making a living- how much accountability do we have for those we put in power? I can see making the concession if I needed the job…. But ? I think too about resistance. And despite the initial support- Api could not have missed the persecution of the Jews- the Night of Long Knives- as the author points out. At that point, does one say enough- I will not be party to this? Lose one’s job- or worse?
I don’t know. but dang, it makes me really glad from the get go that I did not get sucked in to what we in the US have going now…
The book did make me think anyway.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy reading books about World War 2. So when I had the opportunity to read this one, I quickly added it to my reading pile ignoring that the pile is already a few feet tall.

In the book, the author tells of finding her grandfather's journals which tell the story of his time in Berline at the end of the war and beyond. She also discovers a secret, one she never knew and never considered could be in the family. How does she deal with that secret now years later? It is not what you want in your family background.

The author spends time going back to Berlin and tracing some of the times of her grandfather there. I enjoyed that as I have been to Berlin and could picture walking some of the streets. There were bits of the book that was her own thoughts and reflections and bits from the diaries.

I enjoyed the book. The tension is real and a struggle as part of the story. There were times that I felt it was a bit more detailed than the reader would want. I had to work at times to follow the story. I felt that it gave some excellent descriptions of the struggles faced after the war.

I am glad I was able to read the book

Thank you netgalley for the book. The review and opinions are my own.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gabrielle first wrote "The Reluctant Nazi: Searching for My Grandfather" shortly after discovering her late grandfather’s diaries and then anguishing over how her beloved “Api” could have been a Nazi. Now after several trips back to her childhood home and considerably more research, she’s written an expanded version of the book.

Here we see a well-educated and caring physician, first caught in the shifts of government and then in the midst of a bombed out Germany, desperate for food, a place to work and even a place to live. Ironically, his struggles with isolation, illness and limited supplies during the occupation resonate during this time of pandemic. Though many of these passages are difficult to read, we also see the joys of Gabrielle's childhood and her later reunions with old friends and neighbors as she comes to a new understanding of her grandfather's humanity.

This story is a reminder that during times of international strife, we must look at individuals, not a nation. So often innocent civilians suffer greatly for the misdeeds of their leaders, even while doing all they can to help others.

Suspenseful, uplifting, and an important book to read!

[Jennifer Borland · Rating 5 out of 5]

A granddaughter stumbles across a hidden diary written by her grandfather in 1945 in Berlin, and thus begins the author's quest to uncover details about his past. It sounds like something from a movie trailer or the perfect plot for a historical fiction thriller...but in this case, it's not a premise, but rather the real-life experience of author Gabrielle Robinson. In "Api's Berlin Diaries: My Quest to Understand My Grandfather's Nazi Past," Robinson does a masterful job arranging passages from her grandfathers' diary and inter-weaving them with historical information and narrative embellishments that help the reader understand what life was like at the end of, and immediately following, WWII in Berlin. Even more moving and thought-provoking are the questions Robinson poses to herself and readers about her grandfather's possible motivations for joining the Nazi party and the extent of his guilt and regret for having been a part of such a horrible chapter in both Germany's history and in the history of humankind. There are many questions raised in this book that can't be answered, but they are important to ask (and keep asking) nonetheless.

[Demethius Jackson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great read! Even after finishing the book, I can’t imagine the level of strength and self-awareness it took for Gabrielle Robinson to share this story. Api’s Berlin Diaries is not only a personal historic account of her grandfather’s Nazi party affiliation during WWII, but it’s also a philosophical journey into acceptance and accountability in both past and present days.

In the beginning chapters, Gabrielle recounts her self-conflict into whether or not to even tell this story, and it provides a real sense into what Api’s inner conflict must have been during the time of his affiliation. It’s humanizing and forces readers to acknowledge the complexity of the situation, especially for those of us in later generations who are now disconnected from that part of history.

Api’s Berlin Diaries is a dynamic and humanizing first-person perspective that I think would have otherwise been lost in history. And I think Gabrielle has successfully embraced her journey into answering her own deep questions into her family’s past.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! What a story. I read with interest Gabrielle Robinson’s “Api’s Berlin Diaries” wondering how on earth she would reconcile her beloved grandfather’s membership in the Nazi party. Knowing from the beginning that this was a story of her attempting to come to terms with his past, I found it difficult to empathize with her grandfather at first. But the way Robinson weaves back and forth from her grandfather’s words to the present day as she and her husband and son retrace her grandfather’s steps, I was struck by the way we all wrestle with our own family secrets. She asks, “Does his silence imply that he agreed in any way with the racism that ended up costing millions of lives? Is silence a sign of guilt?” Robinson does a great job of illustrating the complexity of living under a dictator and she forces us to broaden our views. She writes, “Between the extremes of murdering people in concentration camps and risking one’s life by hiding Jewish friends lay so very many degrees of choice for everyone.” Her story provides a gripping, timely, and very important lesson for all of us.

[Kmneal · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Gabrielle Robinson’s book, Api’s Berlin Diaries, both as a quasi-first-person historical narrative of life in Berlin during the war, but also as an introspective examination of the author’s self-identity as a German citizen and her grandfather’s identity as a member of the Nazi party.
As a fan of WW2 history, I appreciated the personal account of survival in Berlin during the war, a perspective we rarely get to hear. So much is, rightfully, written about the horrors Hitler inflicted on other groups, it is easy to forget how much the German people themselves suffered under his regime, particularly during the waning months of the war. Ms. Robinson’s recounting of specific places, and experiences from her grandfather’s diaries, and her own return visits to these places, adds a tangible, almost travelogue, experience for the reader.
But I was most taken by the author’s internal struggles to understand her grandfather in light of this appalling discovery. Interspersed throughout the historical account from the diaries, Ms. Robinson grapples with the question of how someone she loved so dearly could have joined a group that stood for such evil deeds. In this time of great division in American society, when it is so tempting to vilify those who are members of another political party or social group, particularly one that espouses hateful views, her quest for understanding feels particularly relevant today.

[Jennifer Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

You do not have to be a history buff, which I am not, to appreciate the book, "Api’s Berlin Diaries". Author Gabrielle Robinson’s shock at recently discovering the truth of her grandfather’s Nazi past is genuine and reminiscent of the guilt and shame some of us share over atrocities of this magnitude. Her path to self-reconciliation also made me think of how we, how I, try to understand my own guilt with the current state of affairs around the world – like the ongoing political and civil discourse in the United States or with the socioeconomic crisis in Venezuela under the Maduro regime.

As a graduate student, anything I read outside of my studies is a luxury, and frankly do not finish if the content is not engaging or if the writing is particularly choppy. From a stylistic point of view, the short chapters made for natural breaking points. Gabrielle’s writing style painted a picture of intimate personal reflection within a historical context. Although the message is heavy, the read is easy.

For these reasons, Gabrielle Robinson’s, "Api’s Berlin Diaries", is a five-star read.

[Merle Saferstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Gabrielle Robinson's book, Api's Berlin Diaries, she writes in exquisite detail about the life of German citizens before, during, and after World War II. She weaves her grandfather's experiences into what was going on around him in Germany throughout that time period. Robinson asks hard questions as she struggles to come to terms with learning that he was a member of the Nazi party. As a result of extensive research, Robinson explores all sides of the moral dilemmas including the political responsibility of individuals and the collective German guilt. Api's Berlin Diaries is brilliantly written and serves as an important, honest, and realistic accounting of one family's life during a time of great upheaval.

[Jay Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before reading this book, I could never imagine that I had anything in common with a Nazi, let alone feel empathy for him. Gabrielle Robinson's book added a whole new perspective. From her own vantage point having grown up with her grandparents after her father died in the war, Gabrielle struggles to hold in one hand her love and affection for her Api while in the other hand holding the objective understanding and condemnation of everything that the Nazi party did and stood for. She writes movingly of the suffering caused by the Nazis, but also of the suffering endured by her grandfather. A personal and detailed take on WWII and, in particular the fall of Berlin, from a new perspective.

[Mike Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written book based on a generally grim topic. Gabriella Robinson came across her grandfather's diaries which form the basis of this book which covers the years preceding WW2, the war years and the post war years where his registration as a member of the Nazi party created serious problems for him until he was exonerated of any wrong doing, he was an ophthalmic surgeon by profession. At this point the dark tone changes to hope as he is reunited with his remaining family members. Gabrielle Robinson's theme is that of how can the oppressors handle guilt in a was full of atrocities.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gives more detail about how someone who really didn't agree with being a Nazi went along to get along and did it to survive. It is amazing how people think they know what they would do, but really have no idea until they have to make decisions. The author's grandfather went through his own hell and she portrays him as if he really didn't understand completely what was going on but I think that with the atrocities most people tried to not understand. The book was really good and what a great historical research that was done to understand the family history.

[Cristie Underwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written about the author's grandfather's time as a Nazi. He never talked about those years so when she discovered a diary that he kept, she went to the places he wrote about to try and make sense of why the grandfather she loved so much would do such heinous things. This is not the typical memoir of the war, as it focuses on a former Nazi that had been forced to commit the heinous acts of the time.

[Susan Stoepel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent story of WWII told by a German

This is a true story of a woman who was very young and living in Germany during WWII. She lived with her grandparents after her father was killed during the war, as her mother sought employment and attended school in a city. She tackles the question of German guilt about the holocaust in particular and the war in general. Wonderful read, thought provoking and interesting.

[Gabrielle Robinson]

My memoir Api's Berlin Diaries won Silver from Nautilus ("Better Books for a Better World") and Bronze from the Nonfiction Authors Association. It also was a Finalist for the Montaigne Medal for "the most thought provoking books" and Finalist in Memoir from Eric Hoffer.

I welcome questions about the book or about writing your own memoir/family history

[Aleta Schrock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Api's Berlin Diaries:
The author, born in Germany, flows between her and her grandfather's stories during World War II. She takes the reader with her as she struggles to understand how her loving grandfather could also have been a member of the Nazi Party. It's a well written book that gives an interesting and very human perspective of the war. I highly recommend it.

[Kevin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Awfully naive of the German football fan's observation that "we can't live in Hitler's shadow forever" in response to the author's discomfort at the flag waving she observed, especially when considering that nationalism has always provided fertile ground for fascism to grow within, and often provided a foundation for it.

[Gail O'Connor · Rating 2 out of 5]

I looked forward to reading about the grandfather, but it seemed too drawn out and I had to put it down. I am su.re others enjoyed it. The characters just seemed wooden.