Zdrowe granice - zdrowe relacje

by Sharon Martin

·Trudno ci wyrażać swoje uczucia, potrzeby i oczekiwania? ·Masz poczucie winy, kiedy odmawiasz innym lub robisz coś dla siebie? ·Podejmujesz zobowiązania, których później żałujesz? ·Ludzie cię wykorzystują i wchodzą ci na głowę? Jeśli tak, to prawdopodobnie masz trudności z wyznaczaniem zdrowych granic. Stawianie granic to dla wielu z nas duże wyzwanie. Nie przywykliśmy do proszenia o to, czego nam trzeba, i upominania się o swoje. Boimy się rozczarować i obrazić innych ludzi albo sprawić im przykrość. Tak bardzo skupiamy się na ich potrzebach, że zapominamy o własnych. W efekcie pojawiają się złość, frustracja, wypalenie; czujemy się niedoceniani, nieważni i źle traktowani. Możemy jednak nauczyć się stawiać granice życzliwie i asertywnie, co pozwala budować bardziej satysfakcjonujące relacje, oparte na wzajemnym szacunku i równości obu stron. Właśnie w tym pomoże ci ta książka. Dzięki niej postawisz zdrowe granice we wszystkich obszarach życia – bez poczucia winy i bez lęku. Ćwiczenia oparte na zasadach terapii poznawczo-behawioralnej pomogą ci wychwycić myśli i przekonania, które to utrudniają, a następnie zastąpić je przekonaniami bardziej adekwatnymi i pomocnymi. Twoje potrzeby są ważne i masz prawo do ich zaspokojenia, dlatego zasługujesz na zdrowe granice. Tytuł The Better Boundaries A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy Relationships Tł Agnieszka Pałynyczko-Ćwiklińska

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Relationships, Nonfiction, Health

248 pages, Paperback

Published October 20, 2023

Reviews

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best self-help books I've ever read, and I make it a point to read several books in this genre each year.

The Better Boundaries Workbook is full of practical information and guidance to help you understand the importance of having boundaries, how to set effective boundaries, how to communicate them, and how to handle violations, how to fine-tune them. It discusses how to set boundaries with the wide variety of people in your life: children, friends, colleagues, employees, bosses, family, and significant others. This is a workbook, with plenty of opportunities to explore using the information in your own specific situations.

I can't think of anyone who wouldn't benefit in some way from reading this book. Highly recommended.

My thanks to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications, Inc for permitting me to read an ARC of this book which is scheduled to be published on 11/1/21. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and are freely given.

[Ashley Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Better Boundaries Workbook by Sharon Martin uses a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach, incorporating mindfulness and self-compassion, to help readers establish boundaries to function better in relationships. The author is a psychotherapist, and if you’re into mental health on Pinterest, you’ve probably come across some of her pins.

The book begins with a look at what boundaries are, as well as common misconceptions about them, e.g. that they’re selfish. It then explores factors that can contribute to difficulties with boundary-setting, including dysfunctional families and feelings of fear and guilt.

In part 2, the author describes a 4-step process for boundary-setting, which consists of clarifying, identifying, implementing, and fine-tuning. There are also tips for effective communication, like using I statements and making clear requests, as well as a range of different suggestions on how to say no. There’s clarification around areas that might get confused, like compromise vs. conceding when it comes to negotiating boundaries.

Part 3 covers boundary issues in specific contexts, including at work, with your partner, with children, and with difficult people. Part 4 looks at boundaries with yourself, and the author gives lots of good tips for managing boundaries with technology.

I’ve reviewed a number of self-help workbooks from New Harbinger Publishers, and on the book-workbook spectrum, this was one of the more workbook-leaning ones. There are lots of prompt questions and room to write.

The book is more about prompting you to think things through for yourself rather than guiding you by the hand, which may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on what you’re looking for. In the chapter on boundary violations, for example, so examples of challenging scenarios were given as a lead-in to prompt questions, but the scenarios themselves weren’t worked through. I thought it might have been helpful to give example answers for some of the prompt questions based on the scenarios.

I think if you’re looking mostly for a book to read about boundaries, you might find yourself wanting more than what this book gives you. However, if you’re wanting to put in the effort and reflection to go through all of the exercises, I think this book would be a really good choice. This is certainly an important topic that tends to be challenging for a lot of people. The author’s approach is warm and supportive, and she does a really good job of clarifying what boundaries are and what they aren’t. Overall, I would say it’s a good book, and whether it’s right for you or not just depends on what you’re looking for.



I received a reviewer copy from the publisher through Netgalley.

[Alissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the book I needed, but didn't know it until I started reading it.

I personally have set up bad boundaries for myself and it has taken years for me to figure them out. I was being used by so called "friends", my bosses, etc. all the time. This book really helped me to figure out more of them in an easier fashion than the way I was doing things. I also really needed and enjoyed the sections about children. I have a five year old who is already pushing boundaries as much as she can. This book is a great tool with so much useful information, be ready to take some notes and highlight areas along the way.

[Adrijana · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved Sharon Martin's book CBT for Perfectionism, so I had really high expectations for this book. Unfortunately, I found it overly abstract: there are many concepts but most are not given the attention they deserve; examples are provided but they are often short and not "seen through" (lacks further explanation or author's take on how a conflict can be resolved). Overall, the content may be useful to a mental health professional, but I would not recommend this book as a self-help resource to a client as I don't believe it can be understood easily.

[April Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve read many books that deal with boundaries but this one was by far the most practical and comprehensive. This provided concrete action steps and reflective prompts towards building boundaries. I will definitely purchase!

Thanks to net galley for this ARC in exchange for a honest and unbiased review.

[Sonja ❤︎ (sunnydeelights)]

As someone who is deeply impacted by all my relationships, I felt like this book gave me the opportunity to tackle boundaries in a healthy, loving way.

I am looking forward to implementing the information in the book into my life, and I am hoping that this book is as helpful to others as it has been to me.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical and easy to understand, with tons of examples and exercises to help you figure out how to put things into practice in your own life. Covers many different situations involving people from your family, workplace, friends, even children. Very useful book that I will no doubt refer to over and over again.

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an arc to read and review.
As someone with boundary issues, I found this book to be insightful, helpful, and gave me better ideas on how to handle my life.
I highly recommend for anyone with boundary problems.
#netgalley #thebetterboundariesworkbook

[Juan Rodriguez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Increase your awareness of your boundaries and needs and you’ll increase the quality of your life and relationships (this book will teach you how to do so and it is very reflective and has you implement what you learn).

[Kay's Pallet · Rating 5 out of 5]

I 100% believe that everyone should read this.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Almost a 5. Great resource, ordered and will definitely use with clients

[Kelly Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Breaks down the process of building boundaries in an accessible step by step process that teaches why boundaries are so important at the same time. A valuable resource.

[Laurie Wheeler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful.

[S. Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

So helpful! Straightforward, comprehensive, and useful. I love the workbook style and all the suggested activities. I learned a lot. My therapist recommended it and she was right!

[Manda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really resonated with me. I learned alot about myself and others. I will continue to use what i learned to better myself