Spoiler Alert: No butchering was done in this book. The only thing butchered was my hope that it would eventually get better - it just got worse.
I don’t normally write reviews that are more than a couple sentences, if even that, but for this book I’m going to make an exception. Here comes one of my “biggest deposits” *iykyk*
This was just smut. And badly written smut at that. And eating. So much eating. All they did was fuck and eat, which sounds super fab in theory, but not for 300 something pages.
Oh! I forgot when they weren’t fucking or eating they were telling each other how hot they are. Nonstop. Paris Hilton x100.
Words I hope to never see again: “my cream”, “rock-hard” “fat dick”, “big dick”, “my seed”, “you’re so hot”.
Words that were way overused: sweetheart, dick, pancakes, hot.
One of the many things that didn’t make sense: He’s supposed to be this big 6’3” intimidating dude, right? And she’s some barely 5’ little thing. Yet it says when she’s in her 5 inch heels they’re face to face. Now hey, I’m not judging a short king … but like, that would make him 5’5”. And to say he looks down on all these bad guys… are they hobbits? Is this a city full of Frodo Baggins mfs? I’m so confused.
Random thought: The only thing more awkward than her thinking about her ex while she fucks him is him thinking about her ex when he fucks her. Which happens, a lot. Adrien living rent free in both their heads. Which, admittedly, there’s a lot of room to because I don’t think there’s much else taking residence up there for either of them.
I’d never been fucked like this, like an escort with a fee worth a Maserati
Girl, what?
A climax was a climax, but this one told me they weren’t all equal. This one told me that they could reach the glass ceiling and shatter it.
So we’re bringing up the glass ceiling barrier women deal with in this world when it comes to their jobs and use it during badly written smut to describe an orgasm? Ohhhkay.
“Here it comes, sweetheart.”
He’s talking about his “seed”, yeah he’s calling his cum an it. Sounds like a fucking horror movie.
He gave his final pumps and filled me, came inside me like I was more than a one-night stand.
…I have so many questions I don’t know where to start.
I expected him to pull out and begin his awkward departure, but he stayed buried inside me, still hard even though his come coated his base. “I’ve got a lot more bullets in this gun.”
BULLETS IN THIS GUN? I read this to my husband and he lost it. I couldn’t laugh with him though because I was cringing too hard.
plunged a finger into her river before I smeared it over the nub that was on fire.
Her river? JFC. Nub on fire? Sounds like an STI she could have gotten from, idk, screwing a dude, who told her he fucks around, with no protection a few hours after meeting.
I knew she was almost there, the tide rising higher and almost covering the entire beach.
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!
aching channel.
No comment needed.
pushed through her entrance and sank in a single motion, flooded with enough arousal to fill the entire Seine.
Ya know, the 777km river.
The sight of her pussy turned me into a hungry bear that wanted her honey all for myself.
This is just so bad. I had a joke about Pooh but I’ll spare you.
I felt my body burn so hot I was about to shed my skin like a snake.
Idk, this was just weird and I wanted to add it.
by the deposits of seed I’d already left earlier in the evening.
Deposits of seed? What in the sperm bank...
I stilled, knowing whatever he would say would be profound.
“You’re too fucking beautiful for this bullshit.
So fucking profound, bro.
he pounded into me like a bulldozer into a building, demolishing it into pieces, leaving nothing but a wreck behind.
Girl, the image this created in my head is not pretty.
Then she took the bomb out of the cannon, the mound of come I’d been wanting to give her since the last load.
There’s a lot to unwrap here. Or, that should have been wrapped up here.
My dick was still hard even though I’d found my release. That didn’t happen a lot, but with her, it seemed to happen almost every time
Excuse me while I roll my fucking eyes.
I stared at him just as hard because his skin was red and his muscles were plump, probably from lifting trucks and buildings.
So he’s the Hulk now, yeah? A 5’5” hulk? Buildings? Girl. He can’t even reach the top shelf at Walmart.
Bastien continued to stare at me like he didn’t believe any of that, especially since he’d watched me silence my phone, something he’d never seen me do before.
Yeah? This is like the third time you’ve ever seen the dude. You’d probably doing a lot of things he’s never seen you do before.
I propped my head up on my arm and watched her for a while, watched her eat my dick like a pancake breakfast.
Lollipop, popsicle, fucking hotdog. All things that would make sense more than a pancake breakfast.
He grabbed on to my hips and tugged me hard against him, giving me all his length as he came, as he released deep inside me and made one of his biggest deposits.
Biggest deposits. Seriously when I thought I couldn’t cringe any harder.
This was the only woman who made my dick twitch like a fucking slingshot.
This sounds painful, ngl.
I pounded into her with the pace of a sprinting horse
*insert Justin Timberlake slow blinking at the camera*
It was bad. I read the other two books because clearly I’m a sucker for punishment with a curiosity issue and they were equally as bad.
I read this to start with because my kindle kept putting it as an ad for me. I wish I hadn’t.