In the Cleft Joy Comes In the Mourning: A Story of Hope After Tragedy

by Dana Goodman

In the Cleft: Joy Comes in the Mourning is a mother's story of her family's journey through tragedy and how she coped after losing a husband, a son and a mother-in-law to cancer. Goodman speaks with raw honesty about her crisis of faith, her depression and finally, with God's help, how she was able to emerge back into the light to find God's love and miracles while on a mission trip in Africa.

Genres: Inspirational

256 pages, Paperback

First published August 20, 2014

About the author

Author and counsellor, Dana Goodman, lives in Kamloops British Columbia. Her memoir, "In the Cleft: Joy Comes in the Mourning: A Story of Hope After Tragedy is her family's journey through trauma after cancer took the lives of her husband and son. In the Cleft Joy Comes in the Mourning will help you

-Find renewal, meaning and purpose again after losing a loved one
-Enter into and understand the mourning process
-Support people who have suffered loss so you can be truly present to their intimate pain
-Understand how pain can increase your capacity to love and have deeper compassion
-Restore your dreams after unthinkable loss


To find out more about Dana and In the Cleft: Joy Comes in the Mourning visit www.inthecleft.com

Reviews

[Margaret Kazmierczak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book deserves more than 5 stars as it is deeply embedded in the mystery of God's love. The author needs to be congratulated on her courage to write this painful book as her journey in revealing her heart and pain has been relived in every letter that she has typed.

It would have been human to have given up after all Dana Goodman has been through, but her strength is clearly grounded in the God of Love. Her struggles just seemed to bombard her, her heart being ripped apart through loss. But her amazing gift to keep going is echoed in this statement:

"In the broken moments of our lives, seeds are planted in the very rich soil of God's kindness and when those seeds are showered with his love they bear much fruit and multiply. Just when I thought nothing could grow in the barren waste of broken dreams, seeds began to grow into beautiful plants of love and hope."

However, this hope did not just come to the author, she had to endure many years of excruciating pain and suffering. She truly understands the agony of Calvary but above all has witnessed the Resurrection that comes after death. Her faith is proof of this. A lot people would trash God and leave Him, bitter and tormented by the challenges given to them. But Dana Goodman held on with her fingernails to hope. The support of her family and Christian friends too gave her the glimpse that not all was lost. Greatness and healing could come out of the ashes.

This book is truly inspirational and a must read for those that have suffered loss, especially the loss of a child. I confess I cried often, but tears are the ointment of God's healing balm.

I highly recommend this amazing account of an exceptional woman's journey to hell and back. Dana Goodman stayed focused on God, at times tentatively, understandably so, but none the less, still communicating with Love even though He seemed at times silent and distant.

Be warned this book will change you.

[Mary Kenyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Dana Goodman writes with blunt, and sometimes gut-wrenching, honesty as she relates her crisis of faith when she lost a husband, a son, and a mother-in-law to cancer. And yet her beautiful words in finding her way back to God in the midst of sorrow can give us all hope. Reading her story, I was wrenched back to 2013, the year I lost my grandson, and I got an intimate peek into what my daughter must have experienced as well as the mother of a dying child.

[Nick Rossi · Rating 5 out of 5]

The great power of story telling is comprised of a symphony of words and of sentences, of tone and of finesse, of emotion and of truth. Sometimes the stories that we tell are inspired by true-life events, and at other times, they are merely representations of overactive imaginations. In the case of Dana L. Goodman’s riveting In the Cleft Joy Comes in the Mourning, the story is not only a true one, but it’s also one that takes a journey of one woman and transforms it into a lesson in compassion and personal triumph.
In The Cleft is a harrowing memoir that chronicles the author’s own personal journey in reclaiming life after the loss of her husband, young son, and mother in law to cancer. Goodman takes the reader and tells them point blank about the seemingly insurmountable obstacles that one must attempt to overcome when the dreaded C-word enters their life and refuses to leave.

Highlighting the daily struggles of caring for a sick child so soon after having lost a husband to the dreadful disease, Goodman is careful not to fall into a victimized narrator. She details plainly the rollercoaster of emotions that accompany her situations, inspiring the reader to reflect on the human condition and strength that rears itself in times of such turmoil.

I recently lost my sister to Cancer, and because of my recent loss, I was affected greatly by Goodman’s story. She reminded me that the wounds that lay deep in my heart will heal through faith and propensity to love. I found in The Cleft to be not only a veritable joy to read, but therapeutic and kind. It’s pacing and tone pulls the reader in from the very first word, and by the book’s end, the reader truly feels like they know Goodman personally. This is a story that inspires and beats with the thousands of hearts of those who lost their fight with the awful disease, and I feel like a stronger person for having read it.

[Claire Fullerton · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is not a moment in this scathingly honest look at unspeakable tragedy that is not authentic and honest. Dana Goodman takes the reader through a story that is beyond the harrows of worst case imaginings. To have tragedy of such a nature strike not once, but thrice is beyond the compass of orientation, but Ms. Goodman walks the reader through the minutia of every element involved, from the diagnosis of the illnesses of those whom she loves to her internal tug of war as she soldiers her family through the paces of loss and into her way of grieving. This book is intimate and confessional. This well written line from the book is exemplary of its meaning:" However, when Jesus heals trauma, we can see his purposes clearly again. We can see who he really is. When he takes mortar from heaven and heals the cracks of
our broken dreams, love starts to grow and expand until it spills out to others around us. " There is light and strength and hope throughout Ms. Goodman's debut memoir, in whose pages is the spirit of sharing her story for the purposes of helping others. "In the Cleft" will do just that. It is my belief that this book will take its place amongst the ranks of those books that pull others experiencing a variation of its themes through their confounding, disillusioning pain. Reading this book helps to supplant doubt and replace it with a map through the thicket on the way to healing, which Ms. Goodman suggests is not an end in and of itself, but the ability to lay in the arms of Jesus anew each and every day for continued support. The story is a beacon of light meant to be shared. All praise to Dana Goodman for her generosity of spirit in writing this fully realized book.

[Lorrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without a doubt, this is the most touching memoir I have ever read. I truly cannot imagine having to endure 3 cancer deaths within the span of a few years, to include a young husband and a 13-year-old son. The story of Zach's courageous battle with cancer was so inspirational. I have been going through a very rough time for the past few years and I have to tell you that his story moved me in a spiritual sense; please know that Zach's legacy continues and, I'm certain, will continue to reach others that he will only know about when he receives his crown one day. :) As a side note, my son's name is also Zach. Your Carter sounds like a terrific young man as well.

Thank you so much for sharing this story with me. It was so uplifting and encouraging.

[Hetty Laidlaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the book and couldn't put it down.I too cried throughout the book. It is a book about love, faith, honesty and pain, but never giving up hope. Thank you Dana for sharing so honest about your journey and may this book help those who have a similar journey to walk, but also be a guideline for those who are a bystander. The reason why I only gave it 4 stars is the size of the book. I love to read in bed and it was a little bit to big, for me, to hold.

[Tofts Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Every day my heart grieves, and every day I find joy.”

This is such a heartbreaking story of losing not one, but three, family members is a very short period of time. What a soul can go through during this lifetime is unfathomable to many. Author Dana Goodman opens her heart and pours emotion into this gut-wrenching narrative in a tender, but loving way. Her approach teaches many of us unknowingly blessed souls what a mother/wife/daughter/sister can go through.

“Grief can be a very self-focused journey, but my heart began to burn for the greater purposes of love God had for me. I wanted to use my pain to heal others.” This line reminds the reader just how brave and strong Dana is. Not many people get to this point in their lives.

As hard as it is to watch another soul go through overwhelming pain and agony, this story gives us the confidence and reassurance that we can get through the darkness with compassion and gratitude.

“You and I have only a short time here on this earth. We are blessed beyond what we deserve, but we are also required to endure much heartache. In the broken moments of our lives, seeds are planted in the very rich soil of God’s kindness and when those seeds are showered with his love they bear much fruit and multiply. Just when I thought nothing could grow in the barren waste of broken dreams, seeds began to grow into beautiful plants of love and hope.” Archangels could not have said it better.

Family photos throughout the book make the love and bonding more real. Their beautiful smiles captivate the reader.

After living the pain and torture the author goes through (as readers usually do), the reader is left wishing to cocoon the author and her family members from further hurt. Hopefully, there is a follow up/update in the works as the reader is left with a loving concerned feeling for the author and family members.

--Tofts Reviews

[Donna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goodness. How to review this book. I am reeling from emotions evoked from reading this story. In The Cleft grabbed my heart and never let go.

In The Cleft is the true story of a family dealing with heartbreak. More heartbreak than one family should have to bear. Of knowing God's love, feeling forsaken by God and railing against him, and finally learning to let God help them heal.

Dana Goodman writes a very personal story of heartbreak as cancer claims three family members over a period of several years. She talks about the roller coaster ride of emotions- denial, anger, hope, depression, inadequacy to make things right, hopelessness, etc. Of trying to cram as much living as possible into a short time. Of trying to memorize ever detail of a loved one so the memories are forever etched on her mind. And so much more.

I cried and my heart broke reading this story. Several times I had to stop reading and walk away in order to collect my thoughts and feelings. However, I never thought about not finishing. Mrs. Goodman wrote a beautiful story of loss and moving from the blackness of despair back into the light. Faith is the force that kept her moving forward. Faith is what mended her shattered heart and soul. Faith is what keeps her going.

This is a highly emotionally charged book. It is well-written, open, honest, and compelling. I highly recommend reading In The Cleft.

5 Stars

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this within 24 hours and could not put it down. I cried most of the way through it, as expected; but also laughed out loud and smiled as Dana recounts the story of what she and her family went through during the illness and death of her first husband, son, mother-in-law and illness of her current husband. This is a story of survival and faith. The struggles and questions a mother must ask and worry about as well as the long answer to everyone's question of "how are you?" The memories I have of Dana's adventurous family and their individual mannerisms are clear as day in her writing. The story of her life is amazing and flows like a wave you know will thrill you (this family is full of daredevils!) but also take you almost to the point of no return. I sincerely appreciate how open Dana was with sharing her feelings on making supremely hard decisions as a wife and mom. And how she carries on now for herself and her fun Carter! This book is extremely important in helping people understand how Dana's faith in God was tested and how she's come to understand the path she walks with Him. It is important to understand how families can go on when tragic things happen. Dana's is a wonderful wordsmith and this book is a treasure to read.

[Candi · Rating 4 out of 5]

An amazing book for a first time author. Dana exposes herself in a way that will help anyone going through a similar tragedy. She shows a super strength that you can't even fathom in a time of unbelievable challenges and ultimate sorrow. If you need an inspiring story, this is it!! Very well written and full of raw emotion. This book touches your heart and will motivate you to look for the joy. Proud of you Dana ;)

[Geneva Poindexter · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book through the GoodReads Giveaway Program from the author, Dana. The author done a fantastic job writing this book, as her first one. So many people experience tragedy in their life and have noone to talk to too. If you want to read a book about hope,this is the book for you. It kept me engaged from the very first page. Great read.

[Lesley Sears · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an emotional ride!! Dana has done an incredible job of reaching in to her self and capturing the feelings she finds. And while she does find grief in abundance she also finds hope, love, joy and healing! This book was beautifully written.

[C.B. Cook · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sweet and heartbreaking... hard to read, but with a good message.

[Harmony Kent · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free MOBI copy of this book, in exchange for an honest review.

This is the memoir of Dana Goodman: Mother, wife, and Christian. It chronicles her struggles to cope while cancer ravages her loved ones. First of all, her young husband dies from Cancer. Then her mother-in-law falls ill, and then—at the same time—her eldest son and her second husband succumb to the disease.
The author writes of her struggles to maintain her faith in these dark times of anger and loss, and how her connection with Christianity ultimately pulled her through. Honest and oft-uplifting quotes appear throughout the book, which has been sensitively written. I applaud the author’s honesty and strength. Not only does she deal with such multiple tragedy, but also finds the wherewithal to travel to Africa on a healing mission.
I particularly liked all the messages of goodwill from family, friends, and acquaintances that the author put in the book; what a lovely way to acknowledge all the support and kindness that enveloped the family through their trials.
One line that stood out for me was: ‘With boots caked in mud on the outside, and hearts filled with muddy emotions on the inside, we made our way home.’ The clear imagery shows their suffering far more eloquently than a string of fancy words could.
If you’re a Christian and have suffered loss (or are going through difficult times now), then this book is a must read for you. For those of other faiths (or no faith), then the memoir still offers a strong message of hope and courage even without the religious references. No matter from where we take our inspiration, there is always a light even in the greatest darkness. What the author achieves in her honest account is to show her readers that there is always a bigger picture, and something much greater than each individual living being. The depth of our grief mirrors the depth of our love, and in that, is something to be celebrated.
I give 8 out of 10 TRB stars, which means, it’s a pretty good read with few flaws present, and equates to 4 out of 5 stars on other rating scales.

[Sandra Stiles · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dana Goodman is definitely a courageous woman. I say this ot because she has had to handle the death of three family members such a short time, but because of how she handled it. God does't promise hid children a life of eas. He promises to walk with us continually through these dark valleys. This raw look at Dana and her grief was not sugar coated. It was not full of only the great things God helped her through. This was full of reality. Her true thoughts and feelings. Feelings that God was a puny God who could not help her. Anyone who has lost someone to a slow diseas has the feelings. Not everyone will admit it. That doesn't mean as Christians that we don't have them. It means when those feelings hit us, we rely on God to walk with us, and if need be to carry us for awhile. This book was hard to read because at this moment I have a friend who is walking this same path. Her daughter has been sick for such a long time and now her brain cancer is ravishing her body. It is painful to watch my friend go through this. Like Dana, she is such an inspiration as has her daughter been to us. She has leaned on God and let us know how tough it is. She is not walking this valley alone but with Jesus at her side. This is a book I think everyone should read whether they are or have gone through anything like this. I will definitely recommend this to family and friends. I am sharing this with my other who teaches a Grief Share class at church and has since shortly after losing my father and my sister. You can find other grief resources on Dana's site.
I received a copy to facilitate my review, the opinions expressed here are my own.

[Kate Bellanca · Rating 4 out of 5]

WOW!!! I just can not imagine how Dana Goodman has been through so much AND still kept going. No person, man or women should have to go through what Mrs. Goodman did. Dana has to be the strongest women, wife, mother, daughter, daughter in law, sister, aunt I have ever known. On top of dealing with so much tragic in her life, she still finds the time to go to Africa and help others. She is truly an inspiration to all.
My family and I are going through some hard times right now, and this book couldn't have come at a better time for me. I was beginning to question my faith, but Dana's book truly helped me to put my life in perceptive.
Dana's family is beyond lucky to have her in their life. After Jay, her 1st husband death, I thought things would start to look up for Dana and her boys. She met Doug, who not only fell in love with Dana but Dana's boys. I thought, happiness has arrived!! Then both Doug and her son Zach get the horrific news, and it's like Really?!! how much more can one women, one family have to endure?!
Reading about everybody's issues was extremely hard, but for me, reading about Zach was the hardest. All I wanted to do was take Dana, Zach and Carter in my arms and give them all a great bid hug.
I want to thank Dan Goodman for sharing her beautiful, sad journey with us. She lived it, and then had to re-live it for us her readers.
Hopefully one day, Carter may want to share his perceptive. I would definitely read that.

[Kathleen Pooler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Losing a child has to be one of the most devastating of losses. Add to this the loss of a young husband and you have an unimaginable story. We all want to believe that our children and young spouses will recover from cancer and go on to live rich, full lives. But this doesn’t happen for Dana Goodman’s son, Zach and her young husband, Jay. How in the world does one cope with such heartbreaking back-to-back losses?

Therein lies the beauty and raw truth of Dana’s story. With candor and eloquence . Dana shows us her heartache and hope as she travels through her “valley of sorrows”. In the process, she uplifts us with her perseverance, resilience and strong faith in God through vivid descriptions, realistic dialogue, gripping narration and a healthy dose of humor.

Because Jay and Zach come alive on the page, we feel the depth of her anguish over watching them decline and losing them. Much to this reader’s relief, she effectively weaves in the lighter moments and happier times and we get to experience her growth and healing after these deep losses. We celebrate when she marries again and moves on to a happy, fulfilled life while honoring Zach’s and Jay’s memories.

This is a riveting memoir that spreads hope through faith. It can serve as a guidebook for anyone who has suffered the devastating loss of a loved one.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

**Disclaimer--I received this book through the GoodReads Giveaway Program from the author-thank you Dana!**

How much heartache can life throw at just one person? From reading this book, the answer is a lot . Without getting into spoiler details, I can safely say that I do not know how I would handle dealing with everything that Dana has gone through in such a short amount of time. She has come through her grief, her heartache, her sadness, her cleft with grace and dignity. I know there are good things in store for her future-there just has to be.

In the Cleft is a quick read, but make sure you have your tissues at hand when you begin. You will cry, you will laugh, and you will smile as you watch Dana transcend her journey. And you will be amazed at how she comes out on the other side.

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful. I sobbed through most of the book. I wasn't a religious person when I started reading the book, and I'm still not terribly religious. My son is going through his terrible twos right now and his favourite thing to do right now is shriek at the top of his lungs and it feels like someone is sticking knitting needles into my ears, it's so shrill. When he does this my first instinct is to get angry and put him in time out because he knows better. After reading this book I've found that I'm so much more patient with him because what if (Heaven forbid) something were to happen and most of his memories were of me yelling at him? I wouldn't be able to take that. Hold onto the ones you love as tightly and as lovingly as you can, because you might not have them forever.

[Susan Rodriguez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a well written book of one families journey of one painful loss after another, and amidst it all she does a wonderful job of making the time they have together as great as she can, making wonderful memories! I could not imagine one family going through so much and coming through it the way she has, but thank the good Lord above for the wonderful family and friends that were there for you throughout this journey of your life. I pray for you that this has been the hardest part of your life and the rest will be smooth sailing. I have never cried so much reading one book for all that your family has gone through.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is an emotional read. If you are looking for a light read that will not make you feel deeply this is not the book for you.
Dana writes from her experience of pain and loss, over and over again. The loss of her son Zach is the core of the book.
It took me forever to finish this book as I could only read a few pages at a time due to the raw reality of Zach's illness and Dana's loss.
I am inspired by her vulnerability and honesty. "Forever my joy will always be mixed with sorrow."
I was particularly struck by her words on pg 162 "to celebrate without grieving diminishes the love, because grieving is a form of love."

[Aneta · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a hard read for me, not because I have experienced any of what Dana went through, but because of ALL she has gone through! It was difficult to read about all that pain, but it was amazing to me how she has come through on the other side with her faith stronger. Her honesty about her struggles and her feelings was what makes this book so worth the read.

[Amy (DemonKittie) · Rating 4 out of 5]

*This book was won from a First Reads giveaway on goodreads.com*