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Chocolate Lovers #3
Troubles and Treats
Librarian's Note: this is an alternate cover edition - ISBN13 9781301954193
Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives - well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.
With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren't on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack, and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.
Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the discontented duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple's lives.
In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that's been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they're having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?
Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives - well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.
With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren't on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack, and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.
Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the discontented duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple's lives.
In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that's been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they're having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?
230 pages, ebook
First published November 1, 2012
233 people are currently reading
7867 people want to read
About the author
Tara Sivec
71 books10.3k followersTara Sivec is a USA Today best-selling author, wife, mother, chauffeur, maid, short-order cook, baby-sitter, and sarcasm expert. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two children and looks forward to the day when all three of them become adults and move out.
After working in the brokerage business for fourteen years, Tara decided to pick up a pen and write instead of shoving it in her eye out of boredom. She writes in a wide range of genres including Romantic Comedy, Romantic Comedy/Mystery, Romantic Suspense, New Adult Drama, Contemporary Romance and Psychological Thriller. Her novel Seduction and Snacks won first place in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2013 for Best Indie First Book and she was voted Best Indie Author in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2014.
In her spare time, Tara loves to dream about all of the baking she'll do and naps she'll take when she ever gets spare time.
After working in the brokerage business for fourteen years, Tara decided to pick up a pen and write instead of shoving it in her eye out of boredom. She writes in a wide range of genres including Romantic Comedy, Romantic Comedy/Mystery, Romantic Suspense, New Adult Drama, Contemporary Romance and Psychological Thriller. Her novel Seduction and Snacks won first place in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2013 for Best Indie First Book and she was voted Best Indie Author in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2014.
In her spare time, Tara loves to dream about all of the baking she'll do and naps she'll take when she ever gets spare time.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,142 reviews
October 24, 2012
I wrote it, therefore it is awesome. The end.
December 6, 2012
Let me tell you a secret:
The hero of this books is not funny. He is not cute.
He is every woman’s nightmare.
He gets pissed off over you using his new sex swing (don’t ask, you really do not want to know) to calm down your screaming toddler.
He does not say anything nice to you. Like…ever.
His freaking penis can only get hard if you are slutty.
He calls you "Porno Jenny" in his mind.
He talks to your vagina. But not to you! Never to you! And never about important things!
He talks to his penis. All the time.
He has a “sex is the most important thing in the world and all else be damned” attitude even thou he is a grown man with two kids.
He is the man that told you that your vagina was horrifically slaughtered while you were giving birth. He decided to tell you this at 3AM, while your baby is screaming.
Then again, the heroine is also a horror.
She talks about how her vagina is now disgusting and broken down. Because kids can brake your vagina. That’s totally a fact! (It’s not. And in makes this book sound like something a guy wrote!)
Also, she is one of the worst mothers in the worls --> but I guess that is an all around theme in these books.
The worst part of it all: None of this was funny! It was not even portrayed in a borderline funny way.
People that find it funny…I don’t know what to say to them. :/
And before more smarty-pants decide to tell me that I have no sense of humor --> I have one. Thank you. I do. I even like marginal jokes. If I was a man I would get a hard on every time Steve Huges makes a joke. For now, I just laugh hysterically every time I see one of his shows.
Here, see for yourselves --> the magical world of the “Chocolate lovers”!!
“YOU FUCKING CALM DOWN! I’M SITTING IN A PUDDLE OF MY OWN UTERUS WATER!” she yelled.
I tried to hold it in, really I did, but I couldn’t. I dry heaved. It was just…uterus water. Water from her uterus. She was sitting in it. She was marinating in uterus fluids.
“OH MY GOD! DID YOU JUST GAG?” she yelled.
I started furiously shaking my head “No”, but the damage was done.
First of all…what is uterus water, and what woman in her right mind would ever say such a thing?
Plus, somebody’s husband gagging over the fact that his wife’s water broke is…funny? Really?
“You’re never going to want to have sex with me again. I’m going to push a human out of the hole where you stick your penis, and you’re never going to want to go there again,” she sobbed.
Why God, why? WHY did she have to put that image in my head? I never had a problem having sex with her when she was pregnant with Veronica. Never went through that whole “Oh no, what if I hurt the baby or he sees my penis” bullshit. But this? Oh sweet Jesus, this is the end for me.
“Oh, that’s just silly. Why would you say something like that?” I asked nervously.
Maybe because it’s true. A human is making his way down that canal, and I’m supposed to not freak out about this?
Again, funny? Not so much. Note of caution --> the heroine was not drugged and delirious during the birthing. She says these things all on her own.
“Drew is never going to buy it. He’s going to know right away if I fake an orgasm.”
Claire and Liz burst out laughing.
“You’re kidding right? There is no possible way he would ever know,” Liz informs me.
“Oh believe me, Drew would know. He says he can feel it when I come. He says my vagina squeezes him if he’s inside me, and it tastes different if he’s going down on me,” I tell them.
“What the fuck are you ingesting before you have sex that he can taste it, straight gasoline?” Liz asks.
Do you now see why this heroine is permanently labeled “idiot” in my mind?
There was also a horrible scene where the heroine fakes sex. Or an orgasm. Or whatever. I don’t want to repeat it here, because it’s an insult to all the women in the world. Even if the heroine is an idiot, nobody should reach that level of idiotism.
Okay, so I had cried a little. Sue me. This is emotional shit. This doctor is getting to the heart of all of our problems. My penis and Jenny’s vagina.
I just…I mean…I…Oh, I give up! The heroine’s husband is an emotional black hole. He sucks up anything of any value and spits out garbage.
“What should I do, Liz? I tried the faking it thing, and I thought that worked, but the next two times I suggested doing it again he said no. He actually turned me down! He says he misses my vagina but I think he’s lying. I used to have such an awesome vagina. What if it’s not awesome anymore? I need a second opinion. Liz, look at my vagina.”
It’s amazing how many times the word vagina shows up. Plus, I would seriously consider moving to another country if a friend asked me to look at her vagina.
“Oh my fuck! You guys haven’t been out on a date since before Billy was born either? Isn’t he like five months old?” Liz asks.
“No! He’s a month old. Wait, no. Three months old. Shit, what day is it?”
I turn back around and face the girls. “Okay, so Billy is something like four months old or some shit. It’s Wednesday, right?”
Ah! How many of you don’t know how old your child is? This is such a normal thing! No, no, no! I am not secretly calling child services!
“No man should have to get his penis caught in a jungle of pubic hair.”
I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.
“It’s not that bad,” I complain.
“The last time you even took a razor to that area was seven months ago. It is THAT bad. The day you wanted me to look at your vagina I could see those things trying to jump ship out of the sides of your underwear. Your twat looked like one of those freaky clowns that’s bald down the middle of its white head with ginormous tufts of hair sprouting out by it’s ears.”
Are we really really REALLY sure this was not written by a man?
Maybe this whole time I haven’t really been worried about left-over baby fat; I’ve been worried about my vagina being too furry. I really do feel a whole lot sexier knowing what’s going on down there in my underwear right now. Once Stephanie could actually see my vagina, she had told me it was very nice. And since she’s seen a lot of vaginas in her line of work, I trust her judgment.
I’m a little more confident now about talking to Drew as well and telling him what I need. Weird how a hairless vagina can do that for you. I’m pretty excited to finally be honest with Drew and take my new vagina out for a spin. I wish it wasn’t frowned upon to go without pants in public.
This has to be written by a man! It just has to be!!
When we got home and Drew asked if he could hug my vagina, I told him no and he started sobbing.
If I see the world vagina again, I will…
“Alright, for five points, making your score a grand total of forty-five, Drew – what would Jenny say is her favorite place to make love?” Jackson asks.
“VAGINA! IN HER VAGINA!” Drew screams excitedly.
MERCY! MERCY! Just kill me already! Pleeeease! With a vagina, if you must.
So, all the bad humor aside…and all the talk about horrific labor, genital fluids, and genitals in general this book was badly written.
Oh, don’t get me wrong! The syntax was fairly good for a newbie author, and the dialogue did flow freely (content of said dialogues notwithstanding).
Still, the character development was either all over the place or non existent.
The heroine jumps from being a caring mother to brain-dead-idiot that has a 99% probability to lock her kids in the car and forget them while they die in the sun. She also goes from an emotionally wobbly woman that is trying to find her footing in the world/her marriage to this sex-obsessed monster whose most important issue is if her husband likes her vagina (yes, I said VAGINA, damn you!!!!).
The hero has no character development whatsoever. He is a simpleton struck in his world of penises/vaginas and one-liner jokes. He makes me afraid of the male gender, and every night before bed I wish upon a star --> hoping that he exists only in the weird imagination of this author.
In spite of all of this, and I mean ALL of this, the overall feeling I get from reading this book is a gloomy depressive one.
I felt close to weeping and I am not even sure I could make the reasons behind that to number less than a thousand.
The author took a few serious topics --> marriage after the birth of children, post natal depression, sex life of married people, a married woman’s self-worth…and transformed it in to something horrorificaly ugly and disfigured. Something base, primitive and unrecognizable. Something oh, so very --> WRONG.
I understand humor, and I understand black humor. But there is always a line. And when it is crossed, the whole thing turns from cute to unseemly.
I may sound like a proper and devoted Christian just now (and not my regular kinky self) but the fact is:
The word that would best describe this book is kitsch.
Kitsch (/ˈkɪtʃ/; loanword from German) is a style of mass-produced art or design using cultural icons. The word is a loan word from the German word meaning "worthless”. The term is generally reserved for unsubstantial or gaudy works, or works that are calculated to have popular appeal.
In the end, I must say that I am a bit appalled by the fact that it seems I am the only one disliking these books and finding them offensive to women. Then again, the winner of this years Goodresads choice awards in the Romance category is “Fifty Shades of Gray” --> The end of the world is nearing anyway.
Important edit: I just found out these books started out as Twilight fanfiction. I guess it all makes a little bit more sense now.
The hero of this books is not funny. He is not cute.
He is every woman’s nightmare.
He gets pissed off over you using his new sex swing (don’t ask, you really do not want to know) to calm down your screaming toddler.
He does not say anything nice to you. Like…ever.
His freaking penis can only get hard if you are slutty.
He calls you "Porno Jenny" in his mind.
He talks to your vagina. But not to you! Never to you! And never about important things!
He talks to his penis. All the time.
He has a “sex is the most important thing in the world and all else be damned” attitude even thou he is a grown man with two kids.
He is the man that told you that your vagina was horrifically slaughtered while you were giving birth. He decided to tell you this at 3AM, while your baby is screaming.
Then again, the heroine is also a horror.
She talks about how her vagina is now disgusting and broken down. Because kids can brake your vagina. That’s totally a fact! (It’s not. And in makes this book sound like something a guy wrote!)
Also, she is one of the worst mothers in the worls --> but I guess that is an all around theme in these books.
The worst part of it all: None of this was funny! It was not even portrayed in a borderline funny way.
People that find it funny…I don’t know what to say to them. :/
And before more smarty-pants decide to tell me that I have no sense of humor --> I have one. Thank you. I do. I even like marginal jokes. If I was a man I would get a hard on every time Steve Huges makes a joke. For now, I just laugh hysterically every time I see one of his shows.
Here, see for yourselves --> the magical world of the “Chocolate lovers”!!
“YOU FUCKING CALM DOWN! I’M SITTING IN A PUDDLE OF MY OWN UTERUS WATER!” she yelled.
I tried to hold it in, really I did, but I couldn’t. I dry heaved. It was just…uterus water. Water from her uterus. She was sitting in it. She was marinating in uterus fluids.
“OH MY GOD! DID YOU JUST GAG?” she yelled.
I started furiously shaking my head “No”, but the damage was done.
First of all…what is uterus water, and what woman in her right mind would ever say such a thing?
Plus, somebody’s husband gagging over the fact that his wife’s water broke is…funny? Really?
“You’re never going to want to have sex with me again. I’m going to push a human out of the hole where you stick your penis, and you’re never going to want to go there again,” she sobbed.
Why God, why? WHY did she have to put that image in my head? I never had a problem having sex with her when she was pregnant with Veronica. Never went through that whole “Oh no, what if I hurt the baby or he sees my penis” bullshit. But this? Oh sweet Jesus, this is the end for me.
“Oh, that’s just silly. Why would you say something like that?” I asked nervously.
Maybe because it’s true. A human is making his way down that canal, and I’m supposed to not freak out about this?
Again, funny? Not so much. Note of caution --> the heroine was not drugged and delirious during the birthing. She says these things all on her own.
“Drew is never going to buy it. He’s going to know right away if I fake an orgasm.”
Claire and Liz burst out laughing.
“You’re kidding right? There is no possible way he would ever know,” Liz informs me.
“Oh believe me, Drew would know. He says he can feel it when I come. He says my vagina squeezes him if he’s inside me, and it tastes different if he’s going down on me,” I tell them.
“What the fuck are you ingesting before you have sex that he can taste it, straight gasoline?” Liz asks.
Do you now see why this heroine is permanently labeled “idiot” in my mind?
There was also a horrible scene where the heroine fakes sex. Or an orgasm. Or whatever. I don’t want to repeat it here, because it’s an insult to all the women in the world. Even if the heroine is an idiot, nobody should reach that level of idiotism.
Okay, so I had cried a little. Sue me. This is emotional shit. This doctor is getting to the heart of all of our problems. My penis and Jenny’s vagina.
I just…I mean…I…Oh, I give up! The heroine’s husband is an emotional black hole. He sucks up anything of any value and spits out garbage.
“What should I do, Liz? I tried the faking it thing, and I thought that worked, but the next two times I suggested doing it again he said no. He actually turned me down! He says he misses my vagina but I think he’s lying. I used to have such an awesome vagina. What if it’s not awesome anymore? I need a second opinion. Liz, look at my vagina.”
It’s amazing how many times the word vagina shows up. Plus, I would seriously consider moving to another country if a friend asked me to look at her vagina.
“Oh my fuck! You guys haven’t been out on a date since before Billy was born either? Isn’t he like five months old?” Liz asks.
“No! He’s a month old. Wait, no. Three months old. Shit, what day is it?”
I turn back around and face the girls. “Okay, so Billy is something like four months old or some shit. It’s Wednesday, right?”
Ah! How many of you don’t know how old your child is? This is such a normal thing! No, no, no! I am not secretly calling child services!
“No man should have to get his penis caught in a jungle of pubic hair.”
I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.
“It’s not that bad,” I complain.
“The last time you even took a razor to that area was seven months ago. It is THAT bad. The day you wanted me to look at your vagina I could see those things trying to jump ship out of the sides of your underwear. Your twat looked like one of those freaky clowns that’s bald down the middle of its white head with ginormous tufts of hair sprouting out by it’s ears.”
Are we really really REALLY sure this was not written by a man?
Maybe this whole time I haven’t really been worried about left-over baby fat; I’ve been worried about my vagina being too furry. I really do feel a whole lot sexier knowing what’s going on down there in my underwear right now. Once Stephanie could actually see my vagina, she had told me it was very nice. And since she’s seen a lot of vaginas in her line of work, I trust her judgment.
I’m a little more confident now about talking to Drew as well and telling him what I need. Weird how a hairless vagina can do that for you. I’m pretty excited to finally be honest with Drew and take my new vagina out for a spin. I wish it wasn’t frowned upon to go without pants in public.
This has to be written by a man! It just has to be!!
When we got home and Drew asked if he could hug my vagina, I told him no and he started sobbing.
If I see the world vagina again, I will…
“Alright, for five points, making your score a grand total of forty-five, Drew – what would Jenny say is her favorite place to make love?” Jackson asks.
“VAGINA! IN HER VAGINA!” Drew screams excitedly.
MERCY! MERCY! Just kill me already! Pleeeease! With a vagina, if you must.
So, all the bad humor aside…and all the talk about horrific labor, genital fluids, and genitals in general this book was badly written.
Oh, don’t get me wrong! The syntax was fairly good for a newbie author, and the dialogue did flow freely (content of said dialogues notwithstanding).
Still, the character development was either all over the place or non existent.
The heroine jumps from being a caring mother to brain-dead-idiot that has a 99% probability to lock her kids in the car and forget them while they die in the sun. She also goes from an emotionally wobbly woman that is trying to find her footing in the world/her marriage to this sex-obsessed monster whose most important issue is if her husband likes her vagina (yes, I said VAGINA, damn you!!!!).
The hero has no character development whatsoever. He is a simpleton struck in his world of penises/vaginas and one-liner jokes. He makes me afraid of the male gender, and every night before bed I wish upon a star --> hoping that he exists only in the weird imagination of this author.
In spite of all of this, and I mean ALL of this, the overall feeling I get from reading this book is a gloomy depressive one.
I felt close to weeping and I am not even sure I could make the reasons behind that to number less than a thousand.
The author took a few serious topics --> marriage after the birth of children, post natal depression, sex life of married people, a married woman’s self-worth…and transformed it in to something horrorificaly ugly and disfigured. Something base, primitive and unrecognizable. Something oh, so very --> WRONG.
I understand humor, and I understand black humor. But there is always a line. And when it is crossed, the whole thing turns from cute to unseemly.
I may sound like a proper and devoted Christian just now (and not my regular kinky self) but the fact is:
The word that would best describe this book is kitsch.
Kitsch (/ˈkɪtʃ/; loanword from German) is a style of mass-produced art or design using cultural icons. The word is a loan word from the German word meaning "worthless”. The term is generally reserved for unsubstantial or gaudy works, or works that are calculated to have popular appeal.
In the end, I must say that I am a bit appalled by the fact that it seems I am the only one disliking these books and finding them offensive to women. Then again, the winner of this years Goodresads choice awards in the Romance category is “Fifty Shades of Gray” --> The end of the world is nearing anyway.
Important edit: I just found out these books started out as Twilight fanfiction. I guess it all makes a little bit more sense now.
November 26, 2012
Damnit. I just love this series and the bitch who writes them.
*Full Review to Come
**ARC provided by author for an honest review.
*Full Review to Come
**ARC provided by author for an honest review.
December 3, 2012
FINALLY WE GET INSIDE DREW'S HEAD!
I love you too, vagina. I miss you like a hooker misses her virginity. True story. Why have you done me wrong,Boo? Why is there such a distance between us? Remember when we used to hang out every day? Now I barely see you once a month. You’ve changed,vagina. I hate to say this,but you have. You’re a different person now,and it’s like I don’t even know you. I thought maybe you were hanging around with a different crowd of people and they influenced you against me.Maybe we’re just growing apart. I don’t want to lose you,vagina!I need you like I need air to breathe and football on Sundays. I just can’t quit you,vagina! <--This was actually Drew talking to Jenny's Vagina!
CAUTION!!-- DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT (a little tip from me to you)
1. Do not eat while eating - You will choke.
2. Drink while reading this - You will spit it out on someone/thing.
3. Read in public, you will snort. Or laugh so hard you pee/fart. or people will have you committed for looking fucking crazy from laughing hysterically.
THE STORY
Its years after we left Carter and Claire in Futures and Frosting, everyone has grown up got married had kids etc. After Drew and Jenny have been married a few years had Veronica now 3(Need to mention that Veronica is names after Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison) and Billy (Yep Billy, from Billy Maddison!) lol is a few months old.
It seems that Jenny has lost her sex drive.
I KNOW GASP! NOT THESE TWO!
Drew wants to have sex again. He misses his slutty wife.
She won't allow him to touch her.
Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina!
Jenny is just exhausted, after all she now has an infant, a 3 yr old, a dog-Rollo the Janitor and a cat Ms Lippy (Yep you guessed it, both from Billy Maddison! Drew's fav movie.) both of which were Drew's idea to get the animals, coaching the soccer team, catching up with Liz and Claire and her job at S & S.
All she wants is sleep.
Drew being Drew is completely clueless to this and extremely confused where his slutty sex crazed wife has gone or how to get her back. He is on a mission to get her back! Starting with the best.idea.ever. A sex swing!
I've tried everything. I've whispered sweet nothing into her ear like "My penis misses your vagina," and "heard a rumour that your love canal misses my jizz." Nothing. I know, I can't believe it either!
So basically this book about the ups and downs of marriage and a dry spell. With Drew trying to get laid and Jenny trying to learn how to communicate with her husband.
What else is in this book, I hear you ask?
Well how about-
**mace **stalking **Vagina and penis monologues **Bathroom sex **skittles **a great vibrator race **SPOOP **marriage boot camp
**When Harry met Sally **game nights **bearded clams **strip clubs
**car sex **police **self help cd's **Brazilian waxings **the zombie apocalypse **marriage counseling **made up songs **a new neighbour Fuckson, I mean Jackson **Tupperware **and heaps more!
MY HONEST OPINION
I love Drew! I was so happy when he was mentioned in the other books. He always MADE the scene!
I love his sense of humor, always in the gutter. That's what she said jokes etc. reminds me of me.
I love his sense of style with his inappropriate tee's
Jenny has always made me giggle with using the wrong word in her sentences.
"Because he'll just race over here and make a testicle out of himself," I mumble as I continue searching the lot.
"He's already a giant testicle, don't you mean spectacle?"
"No, he doesn't wear glasses."
OR
"Well we're already in contract with the company we entered the home movie contest with so I'd have to check with them and see. It might be a conflict of incest," I tell her.
"Jenny. For the love of God, think before you speak." Liz tells me seriously.
"What? Incest means that you're related, right? Drew and I are related."
Liz stops unpacking and the box and stares at me in horror.
"What. The. Fuck?"
I roll my eyes "Um, hello? We're husband and wife. So we're related. And you think I'm dumb."
Gavin was the highlight in the other books with the shit that comes out of his mouth. He wasn't in this much but the bits he was he was still awesome! I can not get enough of him and Drew arguing.
I do have to say though that I didn't devour this book like I did with the other 2. I think it was because I wasn't Jenny's biggest fan. I'm not entirely sure what it was and have been trying to figure out all day. It was just missing that *extra* that the other 2 had.
BUT! I still did piss my pants laughing at everything!
This book had Tara's signature all over. Vagina and Penis jokes galore! Sex talk. Over the top antics. Offensive behavior. Inappropriate behavior. Just FUCKING BRILLIANT!
I praise you Tara!
I was really sad to say goodbye to Gavin, Claire, Carter, Drew, Jenny, Liz, Jim and the other munchkins. I kind of hope we hear from them again. But if not I love the way it ended so am happy.
I am praying to the gods *cough* TARA *cough* that Gavin gets his own book one day.. MAN THAT WOULD BE THE SHIT!!
There are waaayyy to many highlights to write right now.
But PLEASE PLEASE read this book. If not to find out what SPOOP is then just cos it will make you have agreat day laughing at filth!
I love you too, vagina. I miss you like a hooker misses her virginity. True story. Why have you done me wrong,Boo? Why is there such a distance between us? Remember when we used to hang out every day? Now I barely see you once a month. You’ve changed,vagina. I hate to say this,but you have. You’re a different person now,and it’s like I don’t even know you. I thought maybe you were hanging around with a different crowd of people and they influenced you against me.Maybe we’re just growing apart. I don’t want to lose you,vagina!I need you like I need air to breathe and football on Sundays. I just can’t quit you,vagina! <--This was actually Drew talking to Jenny's Vagina!
CAUTION!!-- DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT (a little tip from me to you)
1. Do not eat while eating - You will choke.
2. Drink while reading this - You will spit it out on someone/thing.
3. Read in public, you will snort. Or laugh so hard you pee/fart. or people will have you committed for looking fucking crazy from laughing hysterically.
THE STORY
Its years after we left Carter and Claire in Futures and Frosting, everyone has grown up got married had kids etc. After Drew and Jenny have been married a few years had Veronica now 3(Need to mention that Veronica is names after Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison) and Billy (Yep Billy, from Billy Maddison!) lol is a few months old.
It seems that Jenny has lost her sex drive.
I KNOW GASP! NOT THESE TWO!
Drew wants to have sex again. He misses his slutty wife.
She won't allow him to touch her.
Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina!
Jenny is just exhausted, after all she now has an infant, a 3 yr old, a dog-Rollo the Janitor and a cat Ms Lippy (Yep you guessed it, both from Billy Maddison! Drew's fav movie.) both of which were Drew's idea to get the animals, coaching the soccer team, catching up with Liz and Claire and her job at S & S.
All she wants is sleep.
Drew being Drew is completely clueless to this and extremely confused where his slutty sex crazed wife has gone or how to get her back. He is on a mission to get her back! Starting with the best.idea.ever. A sex swing!
I've tried everything. I've whispered sweet nothing into her ear like "My penis misses your vagina," and "heard a rumour that your love canal misses my jizz." Nothing. I know, I can't believe it either!
So basically this book about the ups and downs of marriage and a dry spell. With Drew trying to get laid and Jenny trying to learn how to communicate with her husband.
What else is in this book, I hear you ask?
Well how about-
**mace **stalking **Vagina and penis monologues **Bathroom sex **skittles **a great vibrator race **SPOOP **marriage boot camp
**When Harry met Sally **game nights **bearded clams **strip clubs
**car sex **police **self help cd's **Brazilian waxings **the zombie apocalypse **marriage counseling **made up songs **a new neighbour Fuckson, I mean Jackson **Tupperware **and heaps more!
MY HONEST OPINION
I love Drew! I was so happy when he was mentioned in the other books. He always MADE the scene!
I love his sense of humor, always in the gutter. That's what she said jokes etc. reminds me of me.
I love his sense of style with his inappropriate tee's
Jenny has always made me giggle with using the wrong word in her sentences.
"Because he'll just race over here and make a testicle out of himself," I mumble as I continue searching the lot.
"He's already a giant testicle, don't you mean spectacle?"
"No, he doesn't wear glasses."
OR
"Well we're already in contract with the company we entered the home movie contest with so I'd have to check with them and see. It might be a conflict of incest," I tell her.
"Jenny. For the love of God, think before you speak." Liz tells me seriously.
"What? Incest means that you're related, right? Drew and I are related."
Liz stops unpacking and the box and stares at me in horror.
"What. The. Fuck?"
I roll my eyes "Um, hello? We're husband and wife. So we're related. And you think I'm dumb."
Gavin was the highlight in the other books with the shit that comes out of his mouth. He wasn't in this much but the bits he was he was still awesome! I can not get enough of him and Drew arguing.
I do have to say though that I didn't devour this book like I did with the other 2. I think it was because I wasn't Jenny's biggest fan. I'm not entirely sure what it was and have been trying to figure out all day. It was just missing that *extra* that the other 2 had.
BUT! I still did piss my pants laughing at everything!
This book had Tara's signature all over. Vagina and Penis jokes galore! Sex talk. Over the top antics. Offensive behavior. Inappropriate behavior. Just FUCKING BRILLIANT!
I praise you Tara!
I was really sad to say goodbye to Gavin, Claire, Carter, Drew, Jenny, Liz, Jim and the other munchkins. I kind of hope we hear from them again. But if not I love the way it ended so am happy.
I am praying to the gods *cough* TARA *cough* that Gavin gets his own book one day.. MAN THAT WOULD BE THE SHIT!!
There are waaayyy to many highlights to write right now.
But PLEASE PLEASE read this book. If not to find out what SPOOP is then just cos it will make you have agreat day laughing at filth!
Want to read
December 10, 2012omigodomigodomigod!!! It's Drew's book!!!! YESYESYES!!
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February 16, 2025
Troubles and Treats is book three in the Chocolate Lovers series by Tara Sivec. This is Drew and Jenny’s book. If it’s even possible, this one is even more over the top than the other two! While it deals with a real life issue, it’s done in a hilarious way as Drew and Jenny navigate their lives.
Drew and Jenny have been married seven years. They have a three year old daughter and Jenny has recently given birth to their now three month old son. Jenny is also still working for Seduction and Sweets doing their marketing. Drew and Jenny are always a bit clueless. And perhaps their communication skills aren’t the best! All Jenny knows is that she is exhausted. And also dealing with a bit of worry about her body and the effects of child birth. Not only does Drew work the night shift which leaves her alone with the kids, he isn’t one to pitch in which leaves her to handle everything on her own. As a result, she has no interest AT ALL in anything in the bedroom.
Drew is beside himself with frustration to get their sex lives restarted. He has tried every trick in the book with no success. He just can’t figure out what’s wrong! He even goes to his two best friends, Jim and Carter, for advice but they are no help at all.
This is a hilarious, crazy romp as these two try to figure things out. And we get plenty of time with Liz and Jim, and Carter and Claire. The epilogue was adorable. I am reading this series as part of the box set, which includes the little novella, Hearts and Llamas, a Valentine’s Day short story. I can’t wait to read it.
For more about this book and so many others, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...
Drew and Jenny have been married seven years. They have a three year old daughter and Jenny has recently given birth to their now three month old son. Jenny is also still working for Seduction and Sweets doing their marketing. Drew and Jenny are always a bit clueless. And perhaps their communication skills aren’t the best! All Jenny knows is that she is exhausted. And also dealing with a bit of worry about her body and the effects of child birth. Not only does Drew work the night shift which leaves her alone with the kids, he isn’t one to pitch in which leaves her to handle everything on her own. As a result, she has no interest AT ALL in anything in the bedroom.
Drew is beside himself with frustration to get their sex lives restarted. He has tried every trick in the book with no success. He just can’t figure out what’s wrong! He even goes to his two best friends, Jim and Carter, for advice but they are no help at all.
This is a hilarious, crazy romp as these two try to figure things out. And we get plenty of time with Liz and Jim, and Carter and Claire. The epilogue was adorable. I am reading this series as part of the box set, which includes the little novella, Hearts and Llamas, a Valentine’s Day short story. I can’t wait to read it.
For more about this book and so many others, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...
December 2, 2012
4.5 SPOOP STARS!!
I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
Tara Sivec is a comic genius!!
In Troubles and Treats we are propelled six years into the future with Drew and Jenny Parritt. Since the birth of their second child Drew and Jenny’s kinky sex life has become nonexistent. Jenny is just flat out exhausted. She really has her hands full,taking care of an infant and a preschooler, housework, and of course her job at S & S.
Drew is still the same, funny t-shirt wearing, sex craving, clueless guy he has always been. The death of his sex life has left Drew confused but he is determined to “get his sexy back”.
"I've tried everything. I've whispered sweet nothings in her ear like, "My penis misses your vagina," and "I heard a rumor that your love canal misses my jizz."Nothing. I know, I can't believe it either."
Jenny maybe a little slow on the uptake, but she is just as confused about the changes in her relationship as Drew. She is a wonderful wife, mother and friend.
“When was the last time you guys had sex?” Claire asks.
“Um, what day is it today?”
“It’s Saturday,” Claire answers.
“Last year.”
Some of my favorite scenes had to be: Jenny and Billy in the swing, the girls attacking the stalker and the vibrator race.
Eventually Drew gets some great advice from his father and steps up at home and the couple gets their relationship back on track.
I would like to thank Tara Sivec for the hours of laughter and fun I have experienced reading the Chocolate Lovers Series.
Thank You!!!
I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
Tara Sivec is a comic genius!!
In Troubles and Treats we are propelled six years into the future with Drew and Jenny Parritt. Since the birth of their second child Drew and Jenny’s kinky sex life has become nonexistent. Jenny is just flat out exhausted. She really has her hands full,taking care of an infant and a preschooler, housework, and of course her job at S & S.
Drew is still the same, funny t-shirt wearing, sex craving, clueless guy he has always been. The death of his sex life has left Drew confused but he is determined to “get his sexy back”.
"I've tried everything. I've whispered sweet nothings in her ear like, "My penis misses your vagina," and "I heard a rumor that your love canal misses my jizz."Nothing. I know, I can't believe it either."
Jenny maybe a little slow on the uptake, but she is just as confused about the changes in her relationship as Drew. She is a wonderful wife, mother and friend.
“When was the last time you guys had sex?” Claire asks.
“Um, what day is it today?”
“It’s Saturday,” Claire answers.
“Last year.”
Some of my favorite scenes had to be: Jenny and Billy in the swing, the girls attacking the stalker and the vibrator race.
Eventually Drew gets some great advice from his father and steps up at home and the couple gets their relationship back on track.
I would like to thank Tara Sivec for the hours of laughter and fun I have experienced reading the Chocolate Lovers Series.
Thank You!!!
April 14, 2013
I loved it. Drew and Jenny's story is way better than Carter and Claire's story. Funnier, sexier and more exciting. It would make an excellent romantic comedy movie.
Favorite scene - Drew and Jenny in the sex swing:
Jenny: "Yes, keep doing that! Rub my ass with your knee, you whore!"
Drew: "Who's my tramp? Who's my dirty hooker tramp?"
Jenny: "Me! Me! I'm your dirty hooker tramp! Pay me, big daddy, pay me!"
Drew: "I'm going to give you a 75% tip, you dirty whore!"
Jenny: "Yes! Yes! Give me the tip, give me the tip!"
Drew: "I'm going to give you a tip and leave you some mints! You want some fucking mints, you little slut?"
5 stars :))
May 29, 2015
Once again, welcome to the crazy family of friends. No, nothing has changed, they continue talking constantly about sex and do all kinds of indecent and "improperly" things.
This book is about Drew and Jenny, they have two children, and you don't believe me, they have problems in bed! It's all what this will be, what to do to once again light a fire in their relationship and bed. And you can be sure that it will be very funny.
“...in just a few minutes, a dick will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and a weed whacker.”
This book is composed of something like a comedy skits, in each chapter we have some amusing scenes. Each terribly funny. All of this made up on a story in the background and "some" serious life issue. Once again I will say I don't know how author do this but her ideas are hilarious! Drew's father drill? Vagina Skittles? Strawberry Laid? Priceless!
But sometimes it's too much. It's actually again the same complaint. It is sometimes overwhelming, but also certainly funny. It is quite something different, this whole series, so be sure to read and see yourself.
And let this tell you everything...
"Some of my dick skin is stuck to a sucker under the table, the people in the emergency room call us by our first names, we’ve been banned from all major appliance stores and local farms, and yet, I wouldn’t change the way our life has turned out for all the hookers and coke in the world."
This book is about Drew and Jenny, they have two children, and you don't believe me, they have problems in bed! It's all what this will be, what to do to once again light a fire in their relationship and bed. And you can be sure that it will be very funny.
“...in just a few minutes, a dick will be able to find your vagina without needing night vision goggles and a weed whacker.”
This book is composed of something like a comedy skits, in each chapter we have some amusing scenes. Each terribly funny. All of this made up on a story in the background and "some" serious life issue. Once again I will say I don't know how author do this but her ideas are hilarious! Drew's father drill? Vagina Skittles? Strawberry Laid? Priceless!
But sometimes it's too much. It's actually again the same complaint. It is sometimes overwhelming, but also certainly funny. It is quite something different, this whole series, so be sure to read and see yourself.
And let this tell you everything...
"Some of my dick skin is stuck to a sucker under the table, the people in the emergency room call us by our first names, we’ve been banned from all major appliance stores and local farms, and yet, I wouldn’t change the way our life has turned out for all the hookers and coke in the world."
December 3, 2012
In Seduction and Snacks, they all fell in love. In Futures and Frosting, their bonds were forged. In Troubles and Treats, the grass is definitely greener in other people’s bedrooms.
This is the unconventional there’s-trouble-in-paradise story of Jenny and Drew, the wackiest members of our beloved lot, who finally get their own book to star in. We find them married, with two small children in tow and a marriage troubled by intimacy issues. Even though their underlying problems are nothing more than what many young couples face when they start having children, for this couple the effects are unbearable. The intense physical nature of Jenny and Drew’s relationship has always been their main strength and it was also what initially drew them to one another. When suddenly faced with struggling libidos and no activity in the bedroom, they decide to tackle the problem with every single hilariously inappropriate method they can think of. Except the one that could actually help them – open communication.
Through numerous snippets from their life together so far, we are given an insight into what has truly been everything but a traditional romance between them. What started as a perfect match between two equally silly individuals, but true soul mates at heart, eventually gets shaken by childbirth, housework, babies crying at night, hairy vaginas, poorly utilised sex swings, stalking in-laws, shirtless neighbours, and flesh-eating zombies. Their rampant sexual appetites are no longer in sync. While Jenny is afraid that her husband might no longer find her satisfying or sexually attractive after witnessing natural birth, she is also struggling to reconcile her adventurously sexual self with her new role as a mother. Drew, on the other hand, is constantly mourning the loss of their former sex life, frequently reminiscing their past sexcapades, constantly plotting possible solutions to their problems.
Drew and Jenny’s story is almost entirely told through a collection of funny sketches, matching perfectly the frivolous personalities of these two already familiar characters. Their presence in the previous books in the series was mostly used as comic relief for the reader, their absurdity and childlike approach to life knowing no boundaries, so it only feels appropriate for that tone to have been kept in a book about their life together. The humour is relentless, sugar-coating every single aspect of their story, but never questioning how uniquely compatible they are.
This is the perfect conclusion to a genuinely feel-good trilogy about real people with real relationship issues to overcome but laced with uncountable instances of snort-inducing laughter and cringe-worthy situations. A must-read for any fan of the ridiculously funny, for anyone looking for an easy but endlessly entertaining reading experience, for anyone seeking ways to spice up their bedroom life.
~ N ♥
See this review on my blog! | Follow me on Facebook!
“When was the last time you guys had sex?” Claire asks.
“Um, what day is it today?”
“It’s Saturday,” Claire answers.
“Last year.”
This is the unconventional there’s-trouble-in-paradise story of Jenny and Drew, the wackiest members of our beloved lot, who finally get their own book to star in. We find them married, with two small children in tow and a marriage troubled by intimacy issues. Even though their underlying problems are nothing more than what many young couples face when they start having children, for this couple the effects are unbearable. The intense physical nature of Jenny and Drew’s relationship has always been their main strength and it was also what initially drew them to one another. When suddenly faced with struggling libidos and no activity in the bedroom, they decide to tackle the problem with every single hilariously inappropriate method they can think of. Except the one that could actually help them – open communication.
“It's like the day the stick turned pink, her lady bits put up a giant “Out of Business” sign. Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina.”
Through numerous snippets from their life together so far, we are given an insight into what has truly been everything but a traditional romance between them. What started as a perfect match between two equally silly individuals, but true soul mates at heart, eventually gets shaken by childbirth, housework, babies crying at night, hairy vaginas, poorly utilised sex swings, stalking in-laws, shirtless neighbours, and flesh-eating zombies. Their rampant sexual appetites are no longer in sync. While Jenny is afraid that her husband might no longer find her satisfying or sexually attractive after witnessing natural birth, she is also struggling to reconcile her adventurously sexual self with her new role as a mother. Drew, on the other hand, is constantly mourning the loss of their former sex life, frequently reminiscing their past sexcapades, constantly plotting possible solutions to their problems.
“I’m pretty sure I can pinpoint exactly where I went wrong with Jenny. I blame it all on natural childbirth. No man should ever have to see his wife in that position. Somehow, now, I need to convince my wife that I do not fear her vagina. Not anymore at least.”
Drew and Jenny’s story is almost entirely told through a collection of funny sketches, matching perfectly the frivolous personalities of these two already familiar characters. Their presence in the previous books in the series was mostly used as comic relief for the reader, their absurdity and childlike approach to life knowing no boundaries, so it only feels appropriate for that tone to have been kept in a book about their life together. The humour is relentless, sugar-coating every single aspect of their story, but never questioning how uniquely compatible they are.
This is the perfect conclusion to a genuinely feel-good trilogy about real people with real relationship issues to overcome but laced with uncountable instances of snort-inducing laughter and cringe-worthy situations. A must-read for any fan of the ridiculously funny, for anyone looking for an easy but endlessly entertaining reading experience, for anyone seeking ways to spice up their bedroom life.
“No matter how perfect you think someone else’s marriage is, this just goes to show you we can all use a little spark and a little fun in the bedroom to make life more interesting.”
~ N ♥
See this review on my blog! | Follow me on Facebook!
dnf-lost-interest
April 10, 2017DNF. It's annoying as shit.
July 19, 2017
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Series: Chocolate Lovers series #3 (can standalone, but I recommend reading in order)
:: 5+ Pretty Little Stars ::
This is by far the FUNNIEST book I have ever read. And, it's the BEST book in the Chocolate Lovers series. OMG the shenanigans that go on in this book are laugh out loud funny and readers should be warned that there is a good chance you will pee your pants. HA. I laughed through this entire book. I literally could not stop. Now I am super sad that this series has ended. I NEED MORE. On top of the over the top humor this book does have some real issues that many couples face in their marriage so readers can easily relate to the plot (which is kind of suffocated by the humor but it works). And the characters. WOW. Drew and Jenny are my favorite couple of all time. They are dumb as all hell but so freaking amazing. WOAH. Just seriously, read this series. You won't regret it. I promise!
Series: Chocolate Lovers series #3 (can standalone, but I recommend reading in order)
:: 5+ Pretty Little Stars ::
This is by far the FUNNIEST book I have ever read. And, it's the BEST book in the Chocolate Lovers series. OMG the shenanigans that go on in this book are laugh out loud funny and readers should be warned that there is a good chance you will pee your pants. HA. I laughed through this entire book. I literally could not stop. Now I am super sad that this series has ended. I NEED MORE. On top of the over the top humor this book does have some real issues that many couples face in their marriage so readers can easily relate to the plot (which is kind of suffocated by the humor but it works). And the characters. WOW. Drew and Jenny are my favorite couple of all time. They are dumb as all hell but so freaking amazing. WOAH. Just seriously, read this series. You won't regret it. I promise!
June 15, 2020
This series is silly, beyond over-the-top, and probably not for everyone. However, I found it pretty darn hilarious...just like the rest of the books in this short series. I loved Heidi's Guide to Four Letter Words also, so will definitely be checking out what else Tara Sivec has written.
December 8, 2012
Troubles and Treats was a perfect addition to the Chocolate Lovers series!! I absolutely adored this book to pieces!! Tara Sivec proves once again that she can deliver a romantic comedy that's both sexy and laugh-your-ass-off hilarious. I loved absolutely every cringe-worthy moment and comedic sexy seduction Sivec included in this story. With a perfect blend of awesome characters and witty dialog, it's reading entertainment at its finest.
This installment to the Chocolate Lovers series is told from the perspective of Drew and Jenny. They've been a part of this series from the very beginning as secondary characters, so it was great to see them take center stage in this book. The timing of this story is about seven year after the last installment, and Drew and Jenny are struggling with putting the spark back into their love life after having two kids. They both stumble and fall as they make constant mistakes when trying to get back what they once had.
Drew was the perfect narrator for this book. I loved his mental dialog and funny reactions throughout the book. Some of the stuff that went through his head has me laughing out loud in hysterics!! I've always wanted to get inside of Jenny's head as well because as Sivec fans might remember, Jenny seems to always be a bit off with her comments. To finally see her thought process really provided some endearing moments and I just came to like her so much more.
Troubles and Treats is light on the sexy (until the later chapters) but heavy on the comedy. Don't be fooled though, there's constant romantic moments that despite their failed attempts really prove that these two characters have the chemistry to light up the pages.
This book is signature style funny and sexy, which Sivec has been branded for; and I can't wait to see what else this author has in store for us. Loved this book!
This installment to the Chocolate Lovers series is told from the perspective of Drew and Jenny. They've been a part of this series from the very beginning as secondary characters, so it was great to see them take center stage in this book. The timing of this story is about seven year after the last installment, and Drew and Jenny are struggling with putting the spark back into their love life after having two kids. They both stumble and fall as they make constant mistakes when trying to get back what they once had.
Drew was the perfect narrator for this book. I loved his mental dialog and funny reactions throughout the book. Some of the stuff that went through his head has me laughing out loud in hysterics!! I've always wanted to get inside of Jenny's head as well because as Sivec fans might remember, Jenny seems to always be a bit off with her comments. To finally see her thought process really provided some endearing moments and I just came to like her so much more.
Troubles and Treats is light on the sexy (until the later chapters) but heavy on the comedy. Don't be fooled though, there's constant romantic moments that despite their failed attempts really prove that these two characters have the chemistry to light up the pages.
This book is signature style funny and sexy, which Sivec has been branded for; and I can't wait to see what else this author has in store for us. Loved this book!
December 1, 2012
“Stop diddling your twigs and berries over a body of water,” Jim deadpans.
I feel like a REALLY big pervert for even understanding half the stuff written in this book and the double meaning lines!
MY WHOLE FUCKING BOOK IS HIGHLIGHTED, each and every quote, paragraph and line!!
Author, I love you, your brains and your weird n amazing humor!
Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina. LMFAO
The book was basically Drew trying to get Jenny back into having sex with him! :P
Funny as hell, but a little dragged at times.
Missed Gavin SO MUCH in this book, he was barely there.! :'( :'(
Jenny is seriously dumb!
Drew and his tees I puffy heart my penis. Let me show you why. and Screw the titties and milk. Give me a beer. etc.. LOVE THEM~!! hehehehehehe
And his sense of humor and his crazy talks!!! *love struck* LOVED IT ALL.
I WILL NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE THINK OF Tupperware AS IT WAS BEFORE, after reading this book..
OH. MY. GOD. DREW TALKING TO HER HOOHAA!!!!!! AND DREW TALKING TO HIS JUNK!!!!! *just chocked on my own laughter*
NEVER EVER read the Chocolate Lovers series while eating or drinking something or in public, or even when someone is at home they will think you are a nut job..
I feel like a REALLY big pervert for even understanding half the stuff written in this book and the double meaning lines!
MY WHOLE FUCKING BOOK IS HIGHLIGHTED, each and every quote, paragraph and line!!
Author, I love you, your brains and your weird n amazing humor!
Do not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina. LMFAO
The book was basically Drew trying to get Jenny back into having sex with him! :P
Funny as hell, but a little dragged at times.
Missed Gavin SO MUCH in this book, he was barely there.! :'( :'(
Jenny is seriously dumb!
Drew and his tees I puffy heart my penis. Let me show you why. and Screw the titties and milk. Give me a beer. etc.. LOVE THEM~!! hehehehehehe
And his sense of humor and his crazy talks!!! *love struck* LOVED IT ALL.
I WILL NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE THINK OF Tupperware AS IT WAS BEFORE, after reading this book..
OH. MY. GOD. DREW TALKING TO HER HOOHAA!!!!!! AND DREW TALKING TO HIS JUNK!!!!! *just chocked on my own laughter*
NEVER EVER read the Chocolate Lovers series while eating or drinking something or in public, or even when someone is at home they will think you are a nut job..
Want to read
November 30, 2012JUST BOUGHT IT ON AMAZON FOR MY KINDLE YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes!!!!! Love Drew and Jenny and dear God can you take Jenny back to the sex shop? Funniest damn thing I've ever read!!!!
COMING OUT NOVEMBER 30TH!!!
I can't freaking stand it....
August 31, 2015
I still find this funny in some ways but Drew and Jenny kinda frustrated me. Sometimes I think their actions are stupid and funny at the same time. Who the F rocks a baby to sleep in a SEX SWING?! DAMN JENNY! HAHAHA!! It's not as funny as as Clare and Carter and I miss them. Especially Gavin (that one hilarious kid).
It's still a great book. I will miss all the characters' shenanigans.
It's still a great book. I will miss all the characters' shenanigans.
December 7, 2012
3.5 ★'s
Jenny and Drew haven't had sex for a while and we get to hear the hilarious events that have contributed to this and what they attempt to do to solve it.
I feel bad for saying this but I just didn't like this book as much as the first two. Yes, all the shock jokes, crude lines and hysterical parts are still there but it just felt like the kind of joke that went on for too long and isn't as funny anymore. Don't get me wrong, I really like Drew and Jenny and to be honest, I probably like them even more after reading this but they just don't hold a candle to Carter and Claire and especially Gavin.
I guess the moments I really liked was when we got to see how much Jenny and Drew really care for each other and the lengths they will go to for each other. It was wonderful seeing the other side of Drew and I thought it was great getting his POV as well. I also loved seeing both Jenny and Drew grow as individual people as well as husband and wife and parents.
I still loved all Drew's different t-shirts and of course, carrying on the tradition for Billy. Drew is still pretty crude and sometime shouts out the most inappropriate things. I don't know how their kids slept through all the yelling!!
Jenny's misuse of words really gets a work out in this book. And both her and Drew seem to jump into things without figuring out what is really going on but that leads to one of the most funniest scenes...the vibrator race!! Thank goodness that kind of stuff doesn't bother either of them very much!
There is enough of Liz and Jim, Claire and Carter and their kids to mix things up. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be around the whole group of them for any length of time and all the kids are just as bad! The surprise addition was Drew and Jenny's neighbor, Jackson. I loved the whole spin he put on things and he added a nice element to the story.
Definitely an enjoyable addition to the series and while I missed Claire and Carter, it was really nice seeing how much Drew and Jenny love each other and seeing them work their problems out.
Favorite quotes:
♦ "This is going to be the best bathroom baby ever made!"
♦ "Oooooh, you just got schooled by my mommy."
♥ "After the last few months, I realize I don’t care about anything but being with her. She is my best friend and my life, and I will do whatever she wants me to do as long as she’s happy."
Jenny and Drew haven't had sex for a while and we get to hear the hilarious events that have contributed to this and what they attempt to do to solve it.
I feel bad for saying this but I just didn't like this book as much as the first two. Yes, all the shock jokes, crude lines and hysterical parts are still there but it just felt like the kind of joke that went on for too long and isn't as funny anymore. Don't get me wrong, I really like Drew and Jenny and to be honest, I probably like them even more after reading this but they just don't hold a candle to Carter and Claire and especially Gavin.
I guess the moments I really liked was when we got to see how much Jenny and Drew really care for each other and the lengths they will go to for each other. It was wonderful seeing the other side of Drew and I thought it was great getting his POV as well. I also loved seeing both Jenny and Drew grow as individual people as well as husband and wife and parents.
I still loved all Drew's different t-shirts and of course, carrying on the tradition for Billy. Drew is still pretty crude and sometime shouts out the most inappropriate things. I don't know how their kids slept through all the yelling!!
Jenny's misuse of words really gets a work out in this book. And both her and Drew seem to jump into things without figuring out what is really going on but that leads to one of the most funniest scenes...the vibrator race!! Thank goodness that kind of stuff doesn't bother either of them very much!
There is enough of Liz and Jim, Claire and Carter and their kids to mix things up. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be around the whole group of them for any length of time and all the kids are just as bad! The surprise addition was Drew and Jenny's neighbor, Jackson. I loved the whole spin he put on things and he added a nice element to the story.
Definitely an enjoyable addition to the series and while I missed Claire and Carter, it was really nice seeing how much Drew and Jenny love each other and seeing them work their problems out.
Favorite quotes:
♦ "This is going to be the best bathroom baby ever made!"
♦ "Oooooh, you just got schooled by my mommy."
♥ "After the last few months, I realize I don’t care about anything but being with her. She is my best friend and my life, and I will do whatever she wants me to do as long as she’s happy."
December 3, 2012
This book has some serious LMAO ROTF moments. However, I could not buy into Drew and Jenny being actual parents. I love books one and two but I just couldn't buy into this one. Sorry folks.
April 20, 2015
Just when I think these books can't get any funnier... THEY DO!
The Snacks and Seductions crew is back- Claire, Carter, Liz, Jim, Jenny and Drew. They are all hilarious in their own ways, but NO ONE is funnier than Drew! This book is Jenny and Drew's story. 5 or 6 years after the last book, Jenny and Drew are married with two kids, one being a newborn. Since Jenny was pregnant with new baby Billy, Jenny and Drew's sex life has pretty much been non-exsistant (I thought, is that even possible for those two?!? lol) I can't even describe how funny this book was... I felt like I highlighted more than a quarter of the book! You just HAVE to read it! Instead of leaving a long review, I will leave you with some super funny lines courtesy of Tara Sivec :D
I had known the first moment I met Jenny I would be her bitch, and I was perfectly okay with that. If I wasn't with her, I'm pretty sure I would be in prison and belong to the dude with the most packs of smokes. -Drew
He always loved my vagina. He even has a shirt that says: I love my wife's vagina. What if having sex with me now is like fucking a bowl of Jell-O Jigglers? -Jenny
"Hold me closer, Tony Daaaaanza. Count the headlice on the hiiiiiiiighway" -Drew
"Since when do they sell tasers at Target?" -Claire
"They don't. I actually brought that from home. Drew likes it when I use it on his balls." -Jenny
"Uh, honey. I think we may have got the rules of the race a little mixed up." -Drew
Oh my God. Was I the only one masturbating? What the fuck?! -Jenny
"Who put the ground to fucking close to my ASS?! -Jenny
"Fuck, you feel so good, baby. I wanna fuck you like an animal." -Drew
"Don't quote Nine Inch Nails when we're about to have sex. It's creepy. I don't want to think about animals having sex." -Jenny
"So how good looking are we talking here? Like Chance Crawford hot or Penn Badgley hot?" -Carter
"Who the fuck are Chance Penn and Crawford Badgley?" -Jim
"Suddenly, after becoming buddy buddy with Shirtless McFucker Face, she wants vanilla sex. She wants to just.... do it. No bells and whistles, no live animals, no power strips for electrical safety precautions" -Drew
"Its the fucking zombie virus! Son of a bitch, I told you this day was coming. No one believed me. Well, who the fuck is laughing now?! If I go first, you kill me before I eat ANYONE'S face off, do you hear me?" -Drew
"I don't want to eat people either! Don't let me eat people! They say it tastes like chicken but I don't believe them. PEOPLE TASTE LIKE PEOPLE NOT CHICKEN!" -Carter
"In ten years I'll be twenty. I'll be able to carry a gun and pistol whip Drew." -Gavin
"Oh my God, our son's first word is spoop?!" -Jenny
MY FAVORITE DREW INNER MONOLOGUE:
Unless that creaking means theres a ghost in the house. I've heard some strange noises every once in a while late at night and always wondered if the house is haunted. I bet it is. I bet that freaky little fucker wants to watch us have sex. Fine with me, buddy, enjoy the show. Just don't touch my ass at all during the event or I will call the Winchester brothers from Supernatural. Dean and Sam will fuck you up! I had a strange hand touch my ass one time in college during a threesome, and thats just something you don't get over. Random ass touching scares me more than spiders. -Drew
If you haven't read these... you are really missing out!!!
The Snacks and Seductions crew is back- Claire, Carter, Liz, Jim, Jenny and Drew. They are all hilarious in their own ways, but NO ONE is funnier than Drew! This book is Jenny and Drew's story. 5 or 6 years after the last book, Jenny and Drew are married with two kids, one being a newborn. Since Jenny was pregnant with new baby Billy, Jenny and Drew's sex life has pretty much been non-exsistant (I thought, is that even possible for those two?!? lol) I can't even describe how funny this book was... I felt like I highlighted more than a quarter of the book! You just HAVE to read it! Instead of leaving a long review, I will leave you with some super funny lines courtesy of Tara Sivec :D
I had known the first moment I met Jenny I would be her bitch, and I was perfectly okay with that. If I wasn't with her, I'm pretty sure I would be in prison and belong to the dude with the most packs of smokes. -Drew
He always loved my vagina. He even has a shirt that says: I love my wife's vagina. What if having sex with me now is like fucking a bowl of Jell-O Jigglers? -Jenny
"Hold me closer, Tony Daaaaanza. Count the headlice on the hiiiiiiiighway" -Drew
"Since when do they sell tasers at Target?" -Claire
"They don't. I actually brought that from home. Drew likes it when I use it on his balls." -Jenny
"Uh, honey. I think we may have got the rules of the race a little mixed up." -Drew
Oh my God. Was I the only one masturbating? What the fuck?! -Jenny
"Who put the ground to fucking close to my ASS?! -Jenny
"Fuck, you feel so good, baby. I wanna fuck you like an animal." -Drew
"Don't quote Nine Inch Nails when we're about to have sex. It's creepy. I don't want to think about animals having sex." -Jenny
"So how good looking are we talking here? Like Chance Crawford hot or Penn Badgley hot?" -Carter
"Who the fuck are Chance Penn and Crawford Badgley?" -Jim
"Suddenly, after becoming buddy buddy with Shirtless McFucker Face, she wants vanilla sex. She wants to just.... do it. No bells and whistles, no live animals, no power strips for electrical safety precautions" -Drew
"Its the fucking zombie virus! Son of a bitch, I told you this day was coming. No one believed me. Well, who the fuck is laughing now?! If I go first, you kill me before I eat ANYONE'S face off, do you hear me?" -Drew
"I don't want to eat people either! Don't let me eat people! They say it tastes like chicken but I don't believe them. PEOPLE TASTE LIKE PEOPLE NOT CHICKEN!" -Carter
"In ten years I'll be twenty. I'll be able to carry a gun and pistol whip Drew." -Gavin
"Oh my God, our son's first word is spoop?!" -Jenny
MY FAVORITE DREW INNER MONOLOGUE:
Unless that creaking means theres a ghost in the house. I've heard some strange noises every once in a while late at night and always wondered if the house is haunted. I bet it is. I bet that freaky little fucker wants to watch us have sex. Fine with me, buddy, enjoy the show. Just don't touch my ass at all during the event or I will call the Winchester brothers from Supernatural. Dean and Sam will fuck you up! I had a strange hand touch my ass one time in college during a threesome, and thats just something you don't get over. Random ass touching scares me more than spiders. -Drew
If you haven't read these... you are really missing out!!!
November 27, 2012
First off, a HUGE ass THANK YOU TO TARA SIVEC for sending me the ARC of this highly anticipated story to add to the Chocolate Lovers Series.
I loved every moment of this book.
Who would have thunk that at the end of the day Drew would be my fav character. But boy am I glad I don’t have a man like him.
In Troubles and Treats you fast forward 6 years or so and Jenny and Drew have join the rest of the clan and have gotten hitched. They have 2 kiddos, one from a c-section and the other the old fashion way, which does so much to a man when he witnesses that kinda trauma to the vag. Its not an excuse as to why Jenny and Drew have fallen off the sex train. Its just a small portion of what’s lacking in their relationship.
You get the POV from each, Drew and his lack of sex has clouded his mind and before you know it he’s thinking bizarre things about what Jenny does on her spare time.
And Jenny, she’s the kinda girl that everything, I mean everything, goes over her head. I couldn’t count all the times she said a phrase that made me wanna smack myself on the head and say doh! But even though she’s a major blond, she is a great wife and an amazing mother.
Jenny’s never had any issues about saying what is on her mind but her self esteem is down and Drew isn’t helping, both literally and figuratively! The poor girl is EXHAUSTED! And I don’t blame her! She is up feeding the lil one in the middle of the night, cleaning, doing laundry, and everything else. She comes home and even though Drew has been home all day nothing is done and yet again she feels defeated.
Drew, the dumb ass he is, thinks sex will fix this gap they have between them. if he’d only just open his eyes to see what is causing the rift between the two of them he’d be Susie home maker with a snap of his fingers.
I have to say, the funniest part of the book, not that the whole book isn’t funny cuz it is, like you pee a lil while snorting kinda funny. It was when Jenny thinks she has a stalker and she recruits Liz and Claire to help out. The train wreck that ensues had me busting up laughing, I had a hard time breathing!!! Poor poor Liz. The tazer and mace were not her friend! hehe
This book gets my vote the best book of the year. You have it all in this one. Sex, humor, stalker, games, strip club, alcohol and those shirts of Drews. OMG the shirts! His collection is even better in this book.
I cant wait for the rest of the world to get their hands on this book. You will not be disappointed!!!
I loved every moment of this book.
Who would have thunk that at the end of the day Drew would be my fav character. But boy am I glad I don’t have a man like him.
In Troubles and Treats you fast forward 6 years or so and Jenny and Drew have join the rest of the clan and have gotten hitched. They have 2 kiddos, one from a c-section and the other the old fashion way, which does so much to a man when he witnesses that kinda trauma to the vag. Its not an excuse as to why Jenny and Drew have fallen off the sex train. Its just a small portion of what’s lacking in their relationship.
You get the POV from each, Drew and his lack of sex has clouded his mind and before you know it he’s thinking bizarre things about what Jenny does on her spare time.
And Jenny, she’s the kinda girl that everything, I mean everything, goes over her head. I couldn’t count all the times she said a phrase that made me wanna smack myself on the head and say doh! But even though she’s a major blond, she is a great wife and an amazing mother.
Jenny’s never had any issues about saying what is on her mind but her self esteem is down and Drew isn’t helping, both literally and figuratively! The poor girl is EXHAUSTED! And I don’t blame her! She is up feeding the lil one in the middle of the night, cleaning, doing laundry, and everything else. She comes home and even though Drew has been home all day nothing is done and yet again she feels defeated.
Drew, the dumb ass he is, thinks sex will fix this gap they have between them. if he’d only just open his eyes to see what is causing the rift between the two of them he’d be Susie home maker with a snap of his fingers.
I have to say, the funniest part of the book, not that the whole book isn’t funny cuz it is, like you pee a lil while snorting kinda funny. It was when Jenny thinks she has a stalker and she recruits Liz and Claire to help out. The train wreck that ensues had me busting up laughing, I had a hard time breathing!!! Poor poor Liz. The tazer and mace were not her friend! hehe
This book gets my vote the best book of the year. You have it all in this one. Sex, humor, stalker, games, strip club, alcohol and those shirts of Drews. OMG the shirts! His collection is even better in this book.
I cant wait for the rest of the world to get their hands on this book. You will not be disappointed!!!
January 9, 2013
3.5 Stars. I loved S&S and F&F but I really struggled to get into this one. I don't know why, but I didn't really find it that funny, sure there were funny moments, but I found myself getting bored. It actually seemed like a chore sometimes and I found myself wanting to get to the end so I could start something else! Such a shame because I was really looking forward to it.
December 29, 2020
I just love Drew and Jenny, I loved that they have struggles and yet they loved each other through them.
You know they will find it again and they soo did.
Funny and sexy. I just love this series.
You know they will find it again and they soo did.
Funny and sexy. I just love this series.
December 5, 2012
OMG! I cannot freakin wait for this book! LOVED the first two. Actually laughed out loud while reading... on the subway... more than once. Counting down the days.
I read this book in a day. I LOVED it! I do have to admit that I still loved the first two a little more, but I just think I related more to Claire as a narrator as opposed to Jenny. Don't get me wrong, it was still hilarious! The scene in the tent was freakin awesome!! I also found that i had a soft spot for Drew. Man was he clueless, but there was just something so endearing about his character and how much he loved Jenny. I loved that we got to see that side of him (although he's still kind of a douche - but now a lovable douche).
Overall - LOVED this entire series and I will never stop recommending it to people!
I read this book in a day. I LOVED it! I do have to admit that I still loved the first two a little more, but I just think I related more to Claire as a narrator as opposed to Jenny. Don't get me wrong, it was still hilarious! The scene in the tent was freakin awesome!! I also found that i had a soft spot for Drew. Man was he clueless, but there was just something so endearing about his character and how much he loved Jenny. I loved that we got to see that side of him (although he's still kind of a douche - but now a lovable douche).
Overall - LOVED this entire series and I will never stop recommending it to people!
December 6, 2012
/Raise your hand if you have read Seduction and Snacks. Now raise your other hand if you have read Futures and Frosting. Now... if you are sitting there with both hands raised; First, put them down you look like a fool. And second, you MUST read Troubles and Treats. This was a totally fitting and EPIC end to a wonderful series.
Check out my full review at Selena-lost-in-thought on 11/29/12 and I will also welcome Tara to my blog on 12/4/12. be sure to check it out
Check out my full review at Selena-lost-in-thought on 11/29/12 and I will also welcome Tara to my blog on 12/4/12. be sure to check it out
December 24, 2012
One of my favorites laugh right out loud series of 2012!
Fan for life !
Fan for life !
December 7, 2012
Rating: A- ... Heat: Warm
Troubles and Treats is Jenny and Drew's story and takes place a few years after Futures and Frosting. A few years that have been both kind and unkind to the Parritt’s. When the story opens, we find Drew and Jenny in a bit of a… dry spell, trying to navigate life after a second baby. And, considering these two sexaholics sex life has taken a serious swan dive, I’d say they’re having some issues. The fact that Drew is plagued by nightmares of Jenny's vagina having teeth, and trying to devour his penis, probably isn’t helping. Just saying.
Because Drew is basically a Big Kid or, really, a Man Child. And he is not handling life without sex well at all. He’s feeling moody and temperamental and prone to frequent crying jags. If the dry spell keeps continuing, he'll definitely have to invest in a waterproof case for his phone. Or take his self-love sessions out of the bathroom. Because the rice trick only works so many times. (Not that I would know…)
Meanwhile, poor Jenny is feeling completely overwhelmed. On top of having a three year old who can wield a Sharpie like a weapon and a newborn who doesn’t sleep through the night, she also has Drew. (Need I say more?) And, after an unfortunate sex swing slash baby rocker mishap, she realizes while Drew is missing sex—she’s missing sleep. And someone who is actually willing to help her out.
Which leads to a big ol’ mess of miscommunication (and friendly advice) that makes more (hilarious) trouble for Jenny and Drew. Like a ‘fake it till you make it’ scene that makes Meg Ryan, in When Harry Met Sally, look like an amateur. Or an incident where Drew and the boys inadvertently start a Zombie Apocalypse with a can of mace. But, all fun and games aside, there are relatable messages woven throughout too. Albeit, in a slightly skewed and exaggerated take on life, love, kids, and the joys of relationships.
Troubles and Treats gives us a glimpse at what life would be like if we all walked around with absolutely no filter. It will make you laugh yourself silly. Anyone near you will think you’re hysterical—maniacal—and have finally fallen off your rocker. I know my husband sure gave me a lot of crazy looks. Although, truthfully, it might not have helped that I was constantly reading parts of it out loud (and perhaps a bit out of context) to him as well. Oh, the faces he'd make! I was cackling like a wicked, cracked-up witch.
If you have a dirty, dirty mind and a filthy sense of humor—you will love Troubles and Treats. Miz Sivec is such a perv—a wonderful, hilarious and raunchy perv. (And I mean that in only the best of ways, because I’m pretty pervy myself!) And, while I don’t think it’s necessary to have read the previous two books, why heck wouldn’t you want to? Seriously. Now go forth and laugh your ever-loving ass off!
Favorite Quote:
“I love you too, vagina. I miss you like a hooker misses her virginity. True story. Why have you done me wrong, Boo? Why is there such a distance between us? Remember when we used to hang out every day? Now I barely see you once a month. You’ve changed, vagina. I hate to say this, but you have. You’re a different person now, and it’s like I don’t even know you. I thought maybe you were hanging around with a different crowd of people and they influenced you against me. Maybe we’re just growing apart. I don’t want to lose you, vagina! I need you like I need air to breathe and football on Sundays. I just can’t quit you,vagina!”
- Drew, to Jenny’s Vagina
-- A Romantic Book Affairs Review.
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December 4, 2012
Oh my SPOOP! I think I'm going to cry because this will be their last book. I don't know how to even write a review because there are no words to describe how mind blowing hilarious as hell this trilogy is! I can't believe this is the last book because I am going to miss them a lot! I love their friendship and their children so much I think I'm gonna wail and whine. I've learned a lot of new words in this book and I think that we should all GIVE TARA SIVEC A WARM WOMB HUGGING AND A HARD PENIS LOVIN' on how much I love this book so much. Let's all give love to our twats and let's take care of them like a precious gift that is attached to our body. Seriously, we all should be proud of it! Give some credit to yourselves for having a beautiful piece that is part of your life! hahaha!
I laughed so hard in every page and I swear to Christ that my life will never be the same because of this series. You gave my twat SPARKS! Ha! I love my hoohah so much! :)
And I love to say that Skittles is my favorite treat of all time! Gotta love some Rainbow Heaven!
Favotite Drew shirt: "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks - Ghandi."
******
And in ten years, I would still say that this book will always be amazeballs and awesome as hell! :D And will always recommend this books to those couples who need their Marriage to spark! This will seriously change their life and sex forever. HA!
I laughed so hard in every page and I swear to Christ that my life will never be the same because of this series. You gave my twat SPARKS! Ha! I love my hoohah so much! :)
And I love to say that Skittles is my favorite treat of all time! Gotta love some Rainbow Heaven!
Favotite Drew shirt: "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks - Ghandi."
******
And in ten years, I would still say that this book will always be amazeballs and awesome as hell! :D And will always recommend this books to those couples who need their Marriage to spark! This will seriously change their life and sex forever. HA!
January 31, 2015
★Book Basics★
Genre : - Cont Romantic Comedy
Series : - 3rd in the series - Advised to read books 1 and 2 first
Love triangle? -
Cheating? -
HEA? -
Would I read more by this author/or in this series? - Yes
Rating - Originally a 5, downgrading to 3, since it is fun, but Drew annoyed me at times, he is a crap husband.
★Review★
Again a funny addition to the series - although I did struggle a bit, Drew is a knob tbh, and all the hysterical antics over the state of a woman's vagina after childbirth is a bit much to take (also the word vagina is used far too much). But again, as long as you force yourself to not take it too seriously, then it is a fun read.
However, I am pretty sure Gavin should be older than 10 in this book?? Is it just me. There are a few plot inconsistencies. It feels like the author concentrated all her effort on making it over the top funny, she forgot the actual little details that can carry a book. How can Gavin be 10, and his little sister 6 - when in the previous books, he had a 5th birthday, while his mom was like 3 months pregnant. Or they are having a party at Drew and Jenny's house, move to a strip club, yet got the taxi driver to stop by Drew and Jenny's house so Drew could change his t-shirt.....It is the little things that can annoy me sometimes.
But, I still enjoyed it, but I did not like Drew and Jenny as the main couple as much as Carter and Claire.
Given all these things that annoyed me this time, I am downgrading my rating, something I rarely do, I usually prefer to let a rating stand. But ah well.
Genre : - Cont Romantic Comedy
Series : - 3rd in the series - Advised to read books 1 and 2 first
Love triangle? -
Cheating? -
HEA? -
Would I read more by this author/or in this series? - Yes
Rating - Originally a 5, downgrading to 3, since it is fun, but Drew annoyed me at times, he is a crap husband.
★Review★
Again a funny addition to the series - although I did struggle a bit, Drew is a knob tbh, and all the hysterical antics over the state of a woman's vagina after childbirth is a bit much to take (also the word vagina is used far too much). But again, as long as you force yourself to not take it too seriously, then it is a fun read.
However, I am pretty sure Gavin should be older than 10 in this book?? Is it just me. There are a few plot inconsistencies. It feels like the author concentrated all her effort on making it over the top funny, she forgot the actual little details that can carry a book. How can Gavin be 10, and his little sister 6 - when in the previous books, he had a 5th birthday, while his mom was like 3 months pregnant. Or they are having a party at Drew and Jenny's house, move to a strip club, yet got the taxi driver to stop by Drew and Jenny's house so Drew could change his t-shirt.....It is the little things that can annoy me sometimes.
But, I still enjoyed it, but I did not like Drew and Jenny as the main couple as much as Carter and Claire.
Given all these things that annoyed me this time, I am downgrading my rating, something I rarely do, I usually prefer to let a rating stand. But ah well.
October 7, 2013
(3.5 Stars)
This was a fun, lighthearted, hilarious book! All the friends are back, but the focus of this book is Drew & Jenny & their lack of a sex life. After having their second child they have lost their romantic spark. I didn't love this one like I did the first two in the series, but I still really enjoyed it & love Tara Sivec's writing! It was lough out loud funny! :)
-I am bringing sexy back, bitches!
-I had known the first moment that I met Jenny I would be her bitch, and I am perfectly okay with that.
-She is my best friend and my life, and I will do whatever she wants me to do as long as she's happy.
-While it's true that wild and sometimes bordering on illegal sex is what brought us together, it's not what has kept us together.
-My awesome wife is currently naked, lounging in the baby swing, er, I mean sex swing.
-"You're a dirty, slutty man," Jenny tells me in a sultry voice.
-Porno Jenny! Porno Jenny is back! Hallelujah, praise Paula Abdul, Porno Jenny is back!
-Oh hell yeah! It's fucking ON!
-I need to make this swing my bitch and show it who's boss.
-No matter how perfect you think someone else's marriage is, this just goes to show you we can all use a little spark and a little fun in the bedroom to make life more interesting.
-Jenny and I...well, I never had a doubt we were meant to be together. She's my best friend and the best mother and wife there is. No marriage is perfect, but ours is damn near close.
This was a fun, lighthearted, hilarious book! All the friends are back, but the focus of this book is Drew & Jenny & their lack of a sex life. After having their second child they have lost their romantic spark. I didn't love this one like I did the first two in the series, but I still really enjoyed it & love Tara Sivec's writing! It was lough out loud funny! :)
-I am bringing sexy back, bitches!
-I had known the first moment that I met Jenny I would be her bitch, and I am perfectly okay with that.
-She is my best friend and my life, and I will do whatever she wants me to do as long as she's happy.
-While it's true that wild and sometimes bordering on illegal sex is what brought us together, it's not what has kept us together.
-My awesome wife is currently naked, lounging in the baby swing, er, I mean sex swing.
-"You're a dirty, slutty man," Jenny tells me in a sultry voice.
-Porno Jenny! Porno Jenny is back! Hallelujah, praise Paula Abdul, Porno Jenny is back!
-Oh hell yeah! It's fucking ON!
-I need to make this swing my bitch and show it who's boss.
-No matter how perfect you think someone else's marriage is, this just goes to show you we can all use a little spark and a little fun in the bedroom to make life more interesting.
-Jenny and I...well, I never had a doubt we were meant to be together. She's my best friend and the best mother and wife there is. No marriage is perfect, but ours is damn near close.
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