All Our Lo ves: Journeys with Polyamory in India

by Arundhati Ghosh

All Our Journeys with Polyamory in India is an eye-opening book on polyamory—the practice of being in love with or without sexual intimacies with more than one person simultaneously, with the consent of all—in India. For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. As a practising polyamorist, Arundhati Ghosh dispels myths and throws light on the skills necessary to maintain a fulfilling and responsible polyamorous lifestyle—how to honour boundaries; how to resolve conflicts, and define relationships on their own terms; how to divide time among partners; how to foster honest intimacy; how to find community and navigate break-ups, jealousy, and living arrangements; how to practise safe sex, raise a family; and much, much more.

216 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 10, 2025

Reviews

[Satwik · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is one of the most impactful non-fiction reads of the year, offering a comprehensive look at polyamory in India through the authentic and non-judgmental perspective of a practicing polyamorist.

If you're an "Uncle Ji" type who judges everyone who doesn't fit into your narrow worldview, this might not be the book for you. But if you're open-minded, it's a must-read that explores the pros and cons of polyamorous relationships through interviews and personal experiences, challenging conventional thinking and encouraging empathy.

[Akipog · Rating 5 out of 5]

To my knowledge, there has been a resounding absence of non-Western books on polyamory — or there was, until Arundhati's book was released — which will hopefully be the first among many written in this area. Arundhati’s book is stunning in the breadth it covers: the political origins of monogamy, communities that have practiced polyamory, what polyamory is and isn’t, myths about polyamorous, red flags you should watch out for, the different ways of practicing polyamory, definitions of polyamorous terms, tips for those embarking on a polyamorous journey, how mental health practitioners approach polyamory, and how Indian law interacts with polyamory — are just some of the many topics she explores. It is hard for a book to cover all of this, let alone talks about the permutations of multiple ways of doing polyamory with nuance, but Arundhati accomplishes this.


Something I found endearing was that, despite the expansiveness of the book, she speaks with self-awareness about her own limitations — what she wasn’t able to cover or represent — and makes it abundantly clear that she does not see polyamory as superior to monogamy, but rather as another way of loving. Arundhati also does not shy away from drawing attention to the ways her own privilege enabled her to write this book, nor from talking about the political landscape of this country.

What makes the book not just a theoretical treatise but a breathing, vivid work is the way it is layered with personal anecdotes of her own experiences and struggles, interviews with a range of people about how they love and their perspectives on love, peppered with Bollywood song lyrics about love and longing, and analogies drawn from the sea. Many of the people interviewed in the book are in the closet, and through this book, Arundhati has given voice to these narratives.

Adding an except here from the book:

"When in my early twenties, I first heard Ghalib’s ‘Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi’ in Jagjit Singh’s rendition for the TV serial Ghalib, I was astounded! The lyrics went:

Hazaron khvahishen aisi ki har khvahish pe dam nikle Bahut nikle mere arman lekin phir bhi kam nikle

(A thousand desires such as these, each worth dying for So many of them have been expressed, yet there are more to come)

I still remember the profound impact these words had on me. Something rested at the pit of my stomach. I finally felt understood. Each of my loves was just as strong and deep as the other. And all of them true. Just like the poet said. These words, since then, have been at the heart of my practice of polyamory."

I look forward to this book being recommended alongside the likes of "More Than Two" and "The Ethical Slut" as a valuable resource on polyamory!

[Rahul Vishnoi · Rating 5 out of 5]

-Let Love be Love, Don't Give it a Name-
Review of 'All Our Loves'

Quote Alert
"𝐔𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐄𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧'𝐬 '𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞', 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 '𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬'. 𝐈𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐬. 𝐈𝐭 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐧𝐝, 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐱, 𝐬𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐈𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭, 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝."

Do you think you really know about love? Have you tried to box it up? Label it? Chain it in your perception? Bind it to your beliefs? Or have you been too embarrassed to accept it and have shoved it into a dark place, hidden it inside a closet? If the answer to all the aforementioned questions is yes, this book will give a little jolt to your belief system

All Our Loves: Journeys with Polyamory in India makes a strong case for polyamory—the practice of being in love with or without sexual intimacies with more than one person simultaneously, with the consent of all—in India. Arundhati Ghosh, now 51 year old, writes that she has been interested in exploring polyamory since 80s.

For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, 'All Our Loves' explores the multitudes of possibilities that open relationships can offer. Ghosh writes that this book is for different kinds of people. It
does not want to set standard practices or guidelines to polyamory but intends only to celebrate it in all its dynamic shapes and
eccentricities with the readers.

As a practising polyamorist, Arundhati Ghosh dispels myths and throws light on the skills necessary to maintain a fulfilling and responsible polyamorous lifestyle—how to honour boundaries; how to resolve conflicts, and define relationships on their own terms; how to divide time among partners; how to foster honest intimacy; how to find community and navigate break-ups, jealousy, and living arrangements; how to practise safe sex, raise a family; and much, much more.

A befitting book for our times.

[Diti Shah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Arundhati Ghosh’s All Our Loves is a bold, insightful, and deeply personal exploration of polyamory in the Indian context. As a practising polyamorist, Ghosh navigates the emotional, social, and practical terrain of loving more than one person—with honesty, consent, and compassion at the core. She dismantles myths around polyamory, offering real-world tools for managing boundaries, communication, jealousy, and intimacy.

What sets this book apart is how it challenges deeply rooted patriarchal and monogamous norms, offering a refreshing and inclusive take on love and relationships. One of the most touching aspects of the book is the author's honesty about its scope. Despite its breadth, Arundhati Ghosh openly acknowledges what she couldn't fully explore or represent, and approaches the subject with humility. She is careful not to portray polyamory as better than monogamy, but simply as one of many valid forms of love. What also stands out is her willingness to reflect on how her own privilege played a role in making this work possible, as well as her readiness to engage with the complex political realities of contemporary India.

Whether you are polyamorous or simply curious, this book is an essential read—one that resonates, informs, and liberates.