"It's...almost like a chemical reaction. When I see him, when I see that he cares about me, my heart bubbles up. Steam rises from my stomach to my throat. It gathers in my head. It's as if every nerve is enveloped in it. It's almost coming out of me."
I had a complicated time with this one. I’m here for Ye Qin and Cheng Feichi, but I spent most of the first three quarters feeling frustrated, especially with Ye Qin. I get who he is. He’s volatile, proud, and so emotionally transparent it almost hurts. He loves loudly. When he feels insecure, he clings. When he feels left out, he lashes out and convinces himself he’s protecting something. But reading that play out again and again wore me down. I kept wanting him to pause, to listen, to grow up just a little faster. Watching him hurt someone who has already given so much was exhausting in a very real way.
What kept me reading was Cheng Feichi. He’s restrained and principled, and his devotion feels steady and earned. He carries family pressure and humiliation quietly, and when he finally draws a line, you feel the weight of it. Their relationship feels real because it’s built on small, ordinary things. Study sessions, shared apartments, missed calls, packed lunches that go uneaten. Rooms that feel emptier after an argument. Messages typed and erased. The repetition makes the love believable, but it also makes the fractures harder to ignore. The miscommunication drags on. The imbalance lingers. I felt the regret settle in long before the characters did, and that sense of helplessness stuck with me.
I also can’t shake the feeling that this volume would’ve been more satisfying if it had ended before the time skip. That emotional stopping point felt strong enough to close on, and I would have gladly picked up the next arc in volume three. Pushing past it made the pacing feel uneven and took some of the punch out of what came before. Still, I appreciate how the story lets consequences linger. Ye Qin’s growth is slow and painful, marked by guilt and longing, and it doesn’t pretend love fixes everything. This was a heavy read for me. Frustrating, yes, but also deeply human. I’m bruised, but I’m still here.