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Founding Friendships: Friendships between Men and Women in the Early American Republic
"When Harry Met Sally" is only the most iconic of popular American movies, books, and articles that pose the question of whether friendships between men and women are possible. In Founding Friendships , Cassandra A. Good shows that this question was embedded in and debated as far back as the birth of the American nation. Indeed, many of the nation's founding fathers had female friends but popular rhetoric held that these relationships were fraught with social danger, if not impossible.
Elite men and women formed loving, politically significant friendships in the early national period that were crucial to the individuals' lives as well as the formation of a new national political system, as Cassandra Good illuminates. Abigail Adams called her friend Thomas Jefferson "one of the choice ones on earth," while George Washington signed a letter to his friend Elizabeth Powel with the words "I am always Yours." Their emotionally rich language is often mistaken for romance, but by analyzing period letters, diaries, novels, and etiquette books, Good reveals that friendships between men and women were quite common. At a time when personal relationships were deeply political, these bonds offered both parties affection and practical assistance as well as exemplified republican values of choice, freedom, equality, and virtue. In so doing, these friendships embodied the core values of the new nation and represented a transitional moment in gender and culture.
Northern and Southern, famous and lesser known, the men and women examined in Founding Friendships offer a fresh look at how the founding generation defined and experienced friendship, love, gender, and power.
Elite men and women formed loving, politically significant friendships in the early national period that were crucial to the individuals' lives as well as the formation of a new national political system, as Cassandra Good illuminates. Abigail Adams called her friend Thomas Jefferson "one of the choice ones on earth," while George Washington signed a letter to his friend Elizabeth Powel with the words "I am always Yours." Their emotionally rich language is often mistaken for romance, but by analyzing period letters, diaries, novels, and etiquette books, Good reveals that friendships between men and women were quite common. At a time when personal relationships were deeply political, these bonds offered both parties affection and practical assistance as well as exemplified republican values of choice, freedom, equality, and virtue. In so doing, these friendships embodied the core values of the new nation and represented a transitional moment in gender and culture.
Northern and Southern, famous and lesser known, the men and women examined in Founding Friendships offer a fresh look at how the founding generation defined and experienced friendship, love, gender, and power.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published November 27, 2014
About the author
Cassandra A. Good
2 books15 followersCassandra A. Good is an historian, writer, and teacher in the Washington, DC area. She received in PhD in History from the University of Pennsylvania as well as a BA/MA in American Studies from George Washington University. Good previously worked for the Smithsonian Institution at art museums and as Associate Editor of the Papers of James Monroe at the University of Mary Washington. Her work has been supported by institutions including Mount Vernon, the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Virginia Museum of History and Culture. She currently serves as associate professor of history at Marymount University.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
November 28, 2018
I won this book through a Goodreads Giveaway, but if I would have seen it in a bookstore and have the chance to page through it before reading I don't think I would buy it. I was expecting more in-depth details about certain historical characters and their friendships and what significants they had during the revolution. Instead, it was more about the different types of friendships between men and women and how they were sustained. I found it quite repeticious and even skipped some parts hoping I would get
to a better place. The better place was when I finished.
to a better place. The better place was when I finished.
July 13, 2023
Might be a niche subject for most people's five-star experience, but I love discussions of how medium and message influence each other. I love when somebody develops the expertise to bring forth a culture's unspoken signals and make them speak.
By saying this instead of that, this was conveyed. A line was crossed here, but this which seems weird to ears outside the culture was normal.
I love when somebody digs in an archive to bring a bygone age to life and his or her enthusiasm is as undimmed as mine would be quickly distracted and discouraged.
My question throughout was this: is the 21st century so much less formal that the rules that structured the society she writes about are entirely absent, or do I just take them for granted because I'm in the middle of them?
By saying this instead of that, this was conveyed. A line was crossed here, but this which seems weird to ears outside the culture was normal.
I love when somebody digs in an archive to bring a bygone age to life and his or her enthusiasm is as undimmed as mine would be quickly distracted and discouraged.
My question throughout was this: is the 21st century so much less formal that the rules that structured the society she writes about are entirely absent, or do I just take them for granted because I'm in the middle of them?
February 16, 2021
Some interesting parts, but incredibly dry and I just never quite got into it.
October 7, 2017
This was both very useful to me and kind of annoying as a book. It got my back up with 'working class and black people just don't leave records so that's why my book is about rich elites'. Well, yes, that is a strategic problem, but just because YOU don't have the skills to work with the kind of records that do exist doesn't mean no one does. (Seriously, you can't tell me the underground railroad didn't involve a whole range of cross-sex collaborations that might usefully be described as friendship)
On the other hand: the stuff about not having a precise vocabulary to describe the thing: YEP. THAT.
On the other hand: the stuff about not having a precise vocabulary to describe the thing: YEP. THAT.
April 25, 2015
I won this book in a goodreads drawing.
A rather odd history book, in which the author tries to prove that friendships between men and women were both allowed by the American Revolution, and the same time furthered the revolution's ends.
Unfortunately, the author begins by a reference to the movie When Harry Met Sally, asking the question whether a man and a woman can be friends even if they are attracted to one another.
More often than not, that question is answered in the negative, as the vast majority of these friendships seem to wind up with somebody's hands up somebody else's petticoats. The only real platonic friendships seems to be between men and women who hardly ever saw one another physically, or where there was a vast age difference between the two.
There is a lot of interesting stuff about how relationships between men and women worked during the Revolutionary era, and what sorts of keepsakes and mementoes they exchanged.
A book that bit off more than it could chew. An attempt at mainstream history that doesn't quite measure up because it just isn't as banal as Doris Kearns Goodwin. It's the attempt to imitate Goodwin that ultimately drags the book down, the way Goodwin drags down the entire field of mainstream history.
A rather odd history book, in which the author tries to prove that friendships between men and women were both allowed by the American Revolution, and the same time furthered the revolution's ends.
Unfortunately, the author begins by a reference to the movie When Harry Met Sally, asking the question whether a man and a woman can be friends even if they are attracted to one another.
More often than not, that question is answered in the negative, as the vast majority of these friendships seem to wind up with somebody's hands up somebody else's petticoats. The only real platonic friendships seems to be between men and women who hardly ever saw one another physically, or where there was a vast age difference between the two.
There is a lot of interesting stuff about how relationships between men and women worked during the Revolutionary era, and what sorts of keepsakes and mementoes they exchanged.
A book that bit off more than it could chew. An attempt at mainstream history that doesn't quite measure up because it just isn't as banal as Doris Kearns Goodwin. It's the attempt to imitate Goodwin that ultimately drags the book down, the way Goodwin drags down the entire field of mainstream history.
August 26, 2015
I should have paid attention to the reviewer who warned that this was less about actual friendships, and more a study of how friendships between men and women were viewed. Also I take issue with her definition of "founders." My idea of the founding generation/s would be no later than 1800, while Good takes us well into the 1830's. There's much less on the friendships of the Revolutionary generation than there is on the later ones.
That said, I did enjoy the book and found it very informative.
That said, I did enjoy the book and found it very informative.
Read
May 27, 2015I quit reading this after about page 49. I wasn't enjoying it anyway, but this line sums up the attitude and style of this book. "The Coquette's Eliza, chose to remain unmarried but was eventually seduced and died". Died from what? Seduction? This may be a good book for someone who just beginning to learn about this era and the roles men and women played. Even then, it is vague and relies more upon the literature and milieu of the time rather than on the actual founding friendships.
May 29, 2015
Founding Friendships illuminates the behind-the-scenes friendships that you might not have known existed between men and women in the early republic. It is thoroughly researched, beautifully written, and filled with interesting examples that bring these friendships to life. A fascinating and enjoyable read for history lovers.
October 24, 2015
"Friendships between men and women escaped the bounds of gender roles inherent in family, material, or same-sex relationships. The ability to meet on relatively equal ground in a relationship with the opposite sex was a unique and attractive characteristic of these friendships." (188)
I would like to thank Oxford university press for providing me with an advanced copy of this book!
This book was not want I was expecting, but it was very well written. It mainly focused on how mixed sex relationship were able to happen, around the early beginnings of America. The ideas presented in this book were easily understood and easy to follow.
This book became very dry after reading it for long periods of time; so I took multiple breaks while reading it.
This book was a quick read as it's under 200 pages and I read it in a couple of days.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in history, and is over 16.
I would like to thank Oxford university press for providing me with an advanced copy of this book!
This book was not want I was expecting, but it was very well written. It mainly focused on how mixed sex relationship were able to happen, around the early beginnings of America. The ideas presented in this book were easily understood and easy to follow.
This book became very dry after reading it for long periods of time; so I took multiple breaks while reading it.
This book was a quick read as it's under 200 pages and I read it in a couple of days.
I would recommend this book to anyone interested in history, and is over 16.
April 30, 2015
I won this book on the GoodReads Giveaways!
"Founding Friendships" is a wonderful work focused on male and female relationships during the early days of the U.S. between the late 1700s and up to the mid-1800s, mostly through letters and correspondences. Good focuses on various areas of mixed-friendships including politics, gift giving/receiving, letter writing, and as surrogate family members. As a former gender and women's studies major, I hadn't realized until I read this book, that the majority of my historic women's history focused on male/female relationships solely as families, spouses, or in single-sex friendships. This opened up a whole new area of relationships during this time period that I had not realized was there.
"Founding Friendship" is a quick and interesting book for the casual non-fiction reader. For those interested in the gender or newly-born-nation aspect, this is a great book to add to your understanding of men and women during that time.
"Founding Friendships" is a wonderful work focused on male and female relationships during the early days of the U.S. between the late 1700s and up to the mid-1800s, mostly through letters and correspondences. Good focuses on various areas of mixed-friendships including politics, gift giving/receiving, letter writing, and as surrogate family members. As a former gender and women's studies major, I hadn't realized until I read this book, that the majority of my historic women's history focused on male/female relationships solely as families, spouses, or in single-sex friendships. This opened up a whole new area of relationships during this time period that I had not realized was there.
"Founding Friendship" is a quick and interesting book for the casual non-fiction reader. For those interested in the gender or newly-born-nation aspect, this is a great book to add to your understanding of men and women during that time.
July 27, 2016
From New Book Network: "offers a historical examination of the cross-gender friendships that formed against great social odds and popular opinion that held that these relationships were highly irregular and impossible to maintain chaste. Beginning with the relationships of Abigail Adams and Thomas Jefferson; Eloise Richards Payne and William Ellery Channing; Charles Greely Loring and Mary Pierce and their elite circle, Good explores the depth of feelings, the language and tokens of love, issues of propriety, and the social and political risks of cross-gender friendship. These complicated relationships embodied the essential republican values of equality, freedom, choice, and virtue and challenged marriage as the ultimate human connection. Through her historical work, Good offers an opportunity to rethink the ways cross-gender friendships remain problematic."
April 25, 2016
Very interesting book. Well researched. In clear terms the book describes a time period of friendships that I was unaware existed. It is an academic book, but as interesting to read as a "trade" book. I think it also gives the "When Harry Met Sally" perspective to the time period and shows how times may change, but people and friendships have essentially reman d the same.
August 7, 2015
A very well-researched book on a neglected topic, although the author was sometimes too quick to attribute to culture what can be explained by human nature. She didn't seem to believe that the natural attraction between men and women complicates male/female friendship, instead blaming societal rules and expectations for confusion and barriers in such relationships.
December 30, 2014
Books examine historical friendships across the genders are rare. Good book! Love the case studies. I learned a lot.
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews