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Rules for Saying Goodbye
In the world of Kate Taylor, heroine of Rules for Saying Goodbye, pleasure and melancholy are close neighbors--like the summer hats and lobster boilers squashed together in the tiny closet of her Manhattan apartment. In this hilarious, bittersweet story, we follow young Kate from her girlhood in Fresno California, through a career at a chilly New England prep school, and on to life in Manhattan, where she finds a sometimes dissipated, sometimes glamorous life of fourteen-dollar cocktails, empty cupboards, and extravagantly unsuitable men.
In this witty and affecting debut, the real-life Katherine Taylor chronicles the moment when you stop waiting for things to happen, and go in search of them yourself.
In this witty and affecting debut, the real-life Katherine Taylor chronicles the moment when you stop waiting for things to happen, and go in search of them yourself.
320 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2007
14 people are currently reading
237 people want to read
About the author
Katherine Taylor
24 books46 followersKATHERINE TAYLOR is the author of the novels Valley Fever (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux 2015) and Rules for Saying Goodbye (Farrar, Straus, and Giroux 2007). Her stories and essays have appeared in The New York Times, Elle, Town & Country, ZYZZYVA, The Southwest Review, and Ploughshares, among other publications. She has won a Pushcart Prize and the McGinnis Ritchie Award for Fiction. She has a B.A. from University of Southern California and a master’s degree from Columbia University, where she was a Graduate Writing Fellow. Katherine lives in Los Angeles.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
September 14, 2007
This was just okay. I wanted to love it, and then it had plot problems. As in, really, it didn't have much of a plot. It felt like a diary written by a pretty good writer, but as far as story structure, it wasn't there. Bummed me out, actually, because I was prepared to love this. Actually, though, this was a good learning experience. She did some things that I'm sure I'm right in the midst of doing, writing-wise, and hopefully the unsatisfied, puzzled feeling I had when I finished this book will be enough to keep me from committing to choices that aren't quite the right ones, just because I want to get certain stories into the narrative. Also. It's a novel, but it's really not. I think it's a memoir, and just called a novel.Marketing makes you think that it'll be a Safran-Foer esque thing, with a meta-narrator named after the author. The narrator does share the author's name, but it isn't meta. It just happens to be the case. No shame in that. Legality. It's hard. But memoirists have a responsibility to tell a story, just as novelists do. Everyone who writes narrative for entertainment purposes has a responsibility to tell some kind of story, and shape the narrative so that it remains compelling. Myself included. I've made exactly the same mistakes before. I think I am only now recovering from making them on the book I'm working on right now. I just felt lost while I was reading this. I think she'll write something much more enticing next time around, though, and so, I'll read her again.
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July 7, 2021Rules For Saying Goodbye is less obtuse and more narrative than Sittenfeld's style, but the themes and tone mirror each other.
The character narrator Kathrine brings up cocaine and cancer the way people bring up butter and slippers. Things happen in life. That's what this book is about.
It's also about those guys who come and go, those that stay, and those that need to never have existed. It's about friendships that fade and those that, no matter distance, change, and time, are the most fulfilling and unforgettable.
I felt like a voyeur, prying into the private life of someone I wish I were half the time and someone I wish I could help the other. I had to close the book to remember that it's all a bunch of fiction. That's the best kind of tale.
If not for anything else, read the rest of the book for the context and complexity of this: "I needed to do something to keep myself from walking into the water." An allusion. A sentiment. A familiarity. You won't want to say goodbye when you turn the last page.
The character narrator Kathrine brings up cocaine and cancer the way people bring up butter and slippers. Things happen in life. That's what this book is about.
It's also about those guys who come and go, those that stay, and those that need to never have existed. It's about friendships that fade and those that, no matter distance, change, and time, are the most fulfilling and unforgettable.
I felt like a voyeur, prying into the private life of someone I wish I were half the time and someone I wish I could help the other. I had to close the book to remember that it's all a bunch of fiction. That's the best kind of tale.
If not for anything else, read the rest of the book for the context and complexity of this: "I needed to do something to keep myself from walking into the water." An allusion. A sentiment. A familiarity. You won't want to say goodbye when you turn the last page.
April 9, 2008
Waste of time -- I slogged through it hoping that there would be something redeeming (I heard about it through NPR so thought there might be something redeeming) -- but the plot never picked up or got interesting. I never got emotionally involved with the main character.
September 29, 2008
Maybe I "lack social class" or the "proper" knowledge in what a good novel is supposed to be like. That, or I'm dead on the mark with this review: this book was a royal waste of time and brain cells. I sped-read through the book mainly so I could just say I finished reading through it and gave it a full chance.
The book seemed promising from the beginning; seemed to have witty dialogue and interesting characters. As I read on, however, I realized that the book had no real point. The conversations were so boring and rather stupid in my opinion. The "heroine" (coincidentally has the same name as the author) just does not appear likeable at all. I noticed throughout the book that most of the "conversations" were so empty and contradictory. Katherine said "Well." way too much, which made me just feel really agitated by the character and the whole book.
It is a debut novel, and firsts aren't always the best, so I feel I should at least be a little kinder in the review of the book. But really....how did this get published? I've read a few "official" reviews around the Internet, and some have said that this book was supposed to be satirical. Yes, I see the satire now, but it all was too over-the-top and rather predictable. There was no real plot at all and this shouldn't even be classified as a novel. Maybe a collection of "short stories" would have been better....if even that.
The book seemed promising from the beginning; seemed to have witty dialogue and interesting characters. As I read on, however, I realized that the book had no real point. The conversations were so boring and rather stupid in my opinion. The "heroine" (coincidentally has the same name as the author) just does not appear likeable at all. I noticed throughout the book that most of the "conversations" were so empty and contradictory. Katherine said "Well." way too much, which made me just feel really agitated by the character and the whole book.
It is a debut novel, and firsts aren't always the best, so I feel I should at least be a little kinder in the review of the book. But really....how did this get published? I've read a few "official" reviews around the Internet, and some have said that this book was supposed to be satirical. Yes, I see the satire now, but it all was too over-the-top and rather predictable. There was no real plot at all and this shouldn't even be classified as a novel. Maybe a collection of "short stories" would have been better....if even that.
December 22, 2008
I really enjoyed Rules For Saying Goodbye. After reading reviews, I can understand many readers' points of view that it's very aimless, but I think that's what I enjoyed so much. The disjointment of plot and paragraph gives a sense of aimlessly wandering through life, something I find very relatable. The dialogue was very witty and had me laughing out loud at times. All the characters that Katherine met were unique and refreshing and real; there weren't two that were alike, and trust me, there were a lot of characters. I liked that there was no climax, no "real" plot, no major problem to overcome. But I can understand why people would find that dull, frustrating or anti-climatic.
I think it's something you just need to appreciate for what it is, rather than waiting or expecting it to become something more. It's a journey through life. That's all.
I think it's something you just need to appreciate for what it is, rather than waiting or expecting it to become something more. It's a journey through life. That's all.
July 26, 2009
Honest, funny, sad, and nostalgic - the best part of the book is probably in the title, when our heroine lists the rules for saying goodbye to your latest lover.
You'll be laughing out loud bye Rule #4:
'Buy things to leave in his house, things he won’t have the energy to throw out, like jars of the peanut butter you like. Do not leave things you might want later. Leave hair rubber bands and your toothbrush, but not your Sonicare toothbrush.'
The list takes a somber turn when we come to Rule #10:
'Write a note on very nice paper. Make it simple. Dear Henry, I have loved you completely. Be too hurt to sign your name'
Beautiful and endlessly entertaining - a seriously great read!
You'll be laughing out loud bye Rule #4:
'Buy things to leave in his house, things he won’t have the energy to throw out, like jars of the peanut butter you like. Do not leave things you might want later. Leave hair rubber bands and your toothbrush, but not your Sonicare toothbrush.'
The list takes a somber turn when we come to Rule #10:
'Write a note on very nice paper. Make it simple. Dear Henry, I have loved you completely. Be too hurt to sign your name'
Beautiful and endlessly entertaining - a seriously great read!
June 11, 2008
Katherine Taylor wrote a book about Katherine Taylor and called it a novel. Fiction afforded her the opportunity to make herself interesting but did she? Not even. Blonde, skinny, trust-fund, dilettante, rent-control apartment. Fresno (?), prep school, New York, London, Rome. I read this was supposed to be a satire but the reviewers are overestimating "Ms Taylor". Too many dull anecdotes and poor-me scenarios. The book should have been about Clarissa, the one character she manages to bring to life (unpretty, has cancer).
October 7, 2017
A rambling, semi-plotless novel needs to be veeeery well written to interest me. This novel is very well written, in fact, it's almost pitch perfect, breezing through the moments of the young female protagonist's life (apparently a close copy of the author's own). The fast pace is certainly part of the charm. Each scene creates a minimalist sketch of just the essential elements, then moves on without a single wasted word.
The authorial voice is distinctive without being excessively quirky: this is a trick I'd love to understand, but which resists analysis. This young woman is a startlingly well-formed individual. In fact, I think it's going to be very hard to resist creating a poor imitation of this inimitable voice in my own fiction.
Five stars for a rare achievement in a genre (chick lit) I normally avoid.
The authorial voice is distinctive without being excessively quirky: this is a trick I'd love to understand, but which resists analysis. This young woman is a startlingly well-formed individual. In fact, I think it's going to be very hard to resist creating a poor imitation of this inimitable voice in my own fiction.
Five stars for a rare achievement in a genre (chick lit) I normally avoid.
March 24, 2010
I am loving this book. I picked it up to pass some time. Later I realized the cover had images of wine, beer, cocktails on the front. That made laugh at myself.
I feel like I am walking through many differently decorated rooms of the same house as I am reading. It's enticing.
I don't want this book to end.
Well, I finally gave in and finished this one. I adored it. It had a section on Rome so that endeared me even more.
I am not sure this book is for everyone, but it is dark and emotive and clever enough to be at the top of my list. I want to read more by this author.
I feel like I am walking through many differently decorated rooms of the same house as I am reading. It's enticing.
I don't want this book to end.
Well, I finally gave in and finished this one. I adored it. It had a section on Rome so that endeared me even more.
I am not sure this book is for everyone, but it is dark and emotive and clever enough to be at the top of my list. I want to read more by this author.
January 19, 2012
The Rules were good.
I didn't like this book, a sort of free-ranging memoir of a life of travel and learning without anything learned or travelled. It felt like skating along on the surface of ice, while seeing shapes underneath.
That said, I read the whole thing. In fact, looked forward to reading it.
So I'd skip this one by Katherine Taylor, but look forward to the next one. She can write well. But this surface tale of family events and growing up is not worth the time.
I'd read the rules. They are as deep as it gets.
I didn't like this book, a sort of free-ranging memoir of a life of travel and learning without anything learned or travelled. It felt like skating along on the surface of ice, while seeing shapes underneath.
That said, I read the whole thing. In fact, looked forward to reading it.
So I'd skip this one by Katherine Taylor, but look forward to the next one. She can write well. But this surface tale of family events and growing up is not worth the time.
I'd read the rules. They are as deep as it gets.
July 31, 2012
This book was just ok. It was mildly entertaining with about 3 funny parts or sentences. The main character is a giant weirdo and not particularly likeable. Not entirely sure what the book is supposed to be about. I read that this book is supposed to be satire, and I can kind of see how that could be but also I kind of don't. This book is odd as the main chracter has the author's name. Autobiographical? I guess, but I hope not for the author's sake. Everybody is depressed, nobody goes to work, main character has lots of interesting friends who love her for no reason. Kind of boring.
August 14, 2012
This was an okay book. I thought I was going to love it, after getting through the first part, that focuses on her life in a boarding school. I liked the honesty and freedom the writing gave off. But then it just kind of sank into a bunch of different stories that happen in Kath's life and it gets a little dull. The ending left me quite unsatisfied and unsure of what I, as a reader, was supposed to learn from it.
It's a book that could have been much better.
It's a book that could have been much better.
September 5, 2008
The book had great dialogue but you never really had a good sense of the main character. This is even worse because the character was the author (even down to the first name). The last half was enjoyable but I don't really understand how this was published. I ended the book feeling like I had read something with no point.
October 13, 2008
HAHAHAH! $14 drinks and no $$$... ya, that sums of the life of a real new yorker!!! I liked this book but my heart kinda raced as I read it bc she is 11 when the book starts and in her 30's when it ends.... thats a lot of life to cover in one book... she went to grad school in like a paragraph! If only it where a paragraph, I woudld go too!!!
April 29, 2011
The book engaged me in the first few chapters and I was eager to learn of what would happen of the girl who left home behind so quickly and her crazy mother. It lost its luster though by the time she was a grown up and I was happily awaiting the end of the book.
April 21, 2012
This book was just eh. There were times where I felt like the main character was just blah. no depth to any of the other characters. as the plot developed it just seemed very predictable and sort of uninteresting.
unfinished-never-to-be-started-aga
January 15, 2009Whiny, privileged protagonist alienates reader! Not a new story, but a hated one ...
January 8, 2009
I thought this book was going to be chick lit. It's not. The characters are kind of one dimensional and unlikable and there really isn't a much of a plot. Thumbs down.
July 21, 2018
2/5- "Rules for Saying Goodbye" takes readers through the life of Kate, a young girl born in California who moves East to start boarding school. We learn of Kate's years in boarding school centred around her friends and her trips to New York. Upon graduation, we follow Kate through her years living in New York, her move to Europe, her jobs and her relationships with boyfriends and the relationship between her and her mother.
Unfortunately, the information above is really the only plot for this book. Despite following Kate through her early life to adulthood, I did not develop any connection with her and readers are only shown events as they unfold instead of experiencing any of these events or learning Kate's feelings about them. Furthermore, after following so much of Kate's life, the book ends randomly and not at any particular milestone or important time.
The book is titled "Rules for Saying Goodbye" based on one quick chapter/list of things to do during a break up- such as knitting a scarf for a boyfriend's mother for her to wear and remind the family of you when you're gone. Some of these are funny, but this list only comprises a few pages in the whole book and are out of context/not embedded within the story in any way.
In all, this book struggles with an unremarkable main character and non existent plot. There are tons of other books which can actually use those characteristic to their advantage, and I'd recommend looking for one of those over "Rules for Saying Goodbye".
Unfortunately, the information above is really the only plot for this book. Despite following Kate through her early life to adulthood, I did not develop any connection with her and readers are only shown events as they unfold instead of experiencing any of these events or learning Kate's feelings about them. Furthermore, after following so much of Kate's life, the book ends randomly and not at any particular milestone or important time.
The book is titled "Rules for Saying Goodbye" based on one quick chapter/list of things to do during a break up- such as knitting a scarf for a boyfriend's mother for her to wear and remind the family of you when you're gone. Some of these are funny, but this list only comprises a few pages in the whole book and are out of context/not embedded within the story in any way.
In all, this book struggles with an unremarkable main character and non existent plot. There are tons of other books which can actually use those characteristic to their advantage, and I'd recommend looking for one of those over "Rules for Saying Goodbye".
March 7, 2024
I dreaded finishing this book because of the timeline, storytelling, but then grew to like it towards the end.
I thought to myself: what am I reading? Whats the plot?
It’s more like a slice of life.
The subtle unravelling of lifes lessons not in a not-so-dramatic way.
Im giving 3 because I feel like the plot could have been better and more focused.
But i grew to love the characters—they were all memorable and had interesting quirks. I liked the depth of her character.
I thought to myself: what am I reading? Whats the plot?
It’s more like a slice of life.
The subtle unravelling of lifes lessons not in a not-so-dramatic way.
Im giving 3 because I feel like the plot could have been better and more focused.
But i grew to love the characters—they were all memorable and had interesting quirks. I liked the depth of her character.
January 24, 2018
Could not finish it.
Honestly thought it'd get better but 224 pages in eh
Has no plotline, little character development. Seems to prefer introducing new characters over furthering the current ones.
Honestly thought it'd get better but 224 pages in eh
Has no plotline, little character development. Seems to prefer introducing new characters over furthering the current ones.
July 31, 2018
a much needed read about the freedom and pain following heartbreak
December 1, 2020
i just love this book
June 11, 2022
Just "ok"
April 30, 2009
I recently read the novel, “Rules for Saying Goodbye” by Katherine Taylor. This book was a really delightful easy read. There was many small plot lines going on at once which kept me hooked throughout the book. This novel really put life in perspective for me. It taught me about how life is always changing, and everything happens for a reason. Throughout the book Kate is always meeting new people, making new friends, and going through new relationships. I’ve learned from this book that when times in life seem rough, they do perk back up. I also learned that what seem like bad experiences, can later be used as learning experiences that can help you better yourself in the future. An example is how Kate learns from her failed relationship with Henry and that experience from her past to move forward in her life.
I defiantly agree with Christina about how ‘the book gives a sense of aimlessness wandering through life.’ That is a statement I can really relate to. Most books today have the typical plot line of an escalating conflict, then the conflict resolution. It was a refreshing change for me to read something different. Because real life doesn’t have one main plot! Life is full of many, and lead to others.
This book emphasized the importance of true friends and family, how when times become rough they will always be there for you. Clarrissa was an example of a true friend, present throughout Kate’s life, and was there to help her cope with the break-up with Henry and then with Lucas. Her mother played a really dominant role throughout her entire life, and even though things she would say would get on Kate’s nerves or drive her crazy, she enjoyed her mothers company and listened to her advice. The final sentence in the book really sums up the overall message of the book,
“Your ring,” Dad said, taking my hand.
I nodded. I had stopped noticing it. I wore it now out of habit. I no longer needed to be reminded that a lot of girls would have stayed.
The fact that Kate didn’t stay with her fiancé Lucas was because she wasn’t truly happy with him. Many girls would have been caught up in the idea of having a fiancé, and stuck with it. Instead, Kate followed her instincts, and left. Getting over it was very hard, but she had support from loving people around her to help. This book taught me that it is okay to put yourself first, and to follow your instincts. Kate represents independence, and self-determination. She was never afraid to take chances to find her true happiness, like when she moved to England and Rome. Kate wasn’t afraid of taking chances, and when these decisions she chose didn’t work out, which they didn’t, she learned from them.
I completely disagree with Helene, saying “It was a royal waste of time and brain cells.” I related to Kate’s personality, and the decisions she made. I feel that we are a lot alike, and that might be the reason why I enjoyed this so much. There are so many lessons learned in this book, that I can’t see why anyone could hate it that much!
I really enjoyed how the book was written almost like a diary. Katherine Taylor didn’t spend too much time in one time period, and kept the story line moving. With most books I read I find the author spends too much time on one plot line, and seems to drag it out. This wasn’t the case with this book because the plot lines were always changing which really kept me reading the book. I think this book is a must read for all young women. I’ve seen so many young girls caught up in the image of always being with a guy, and not thinking for themselves. This book could teach many girls the importance of independence and self happiness. Over all I really enjoyed this book, it’s a definite recommend!
I defiantly agree with Christina about how ‘the book gives a sense of aimlessness wandering through life.’ That is a statement I can really relate to. Most books today have the typical plot line of an escalating conflict, then the conflict resolution. It was a refreshing change for me to read something different. Because real life doesn’t have one main plot! Life is full of many, and lead to others.
This book emphasized the importance of true friends and family, how when times become rough they will always be there for you. Clarrissa was an example of a true friend, present throughout Kate’s life, and was there to help her cope with the break-up with Henry and then with Lucas. Her mother played a really dominant role throughout her entire life, and even though things she would say would get on Kate’s nerves or drive her crazy, she enjoyed her mothers company and listened to her advice. The final sentence in the book really sums up the overall message of the book,
“Your ring,” Dad said, taking my hand.
I nodded. I had stopped noticing it. I wore it now out of habit. I no longer needed to be reminded that a lot of girls would have stayed.
The fact that Kate didn’t stay with her fiancé Lucas was because she wasn’t truly happy with him. Many girls would have been caught up in the idea of having a fiancé, and stuck with it. Instead, Kate followed her instincts, and left. Getting over it was very hard, but she had support from loving people around her to help. This book taught me that it is okay to put yourself first, and to follow your instincts. Kate represents independence, and self-determination. She was never afraid to take chances to find her true happiness, like when she moved to England and Rome. Kate wasn’t afraid of taking chances, and when these decisions she chose didn’t work out, which they didn’t, she learned from them.
I completely disagree with Helene, saying “It was a royal waste of time and brain cells.” I related to Kate’s personality, and the decisions she made. I feel that we are a lot alike, and that might be the reason why I enjoyed this so much. There are so many lessons learned in this book, that I can’t see why anyone could hate it that much!
I really enjoyed how the book was written almost like a diary. Katherine Taylor didn’t spend too much time in one time period, and kept the story line moving. With most books I read I find the author spends too much time on one plot line, and seems to drag it out. This wasn’t the case with this book because the plot lines were always changing which really kept me reading the book. I think this book is a must read for all young women. I’ve seen so many young girls caught up in the image of always being with a guy, and not thinking for themselves. This book could teach many girls the importance of independence and self happiness. Over all I really enjoyed this book, it’s a definite recommend!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 2, 2013
I would want to be friends with this girl. I loved a lot of this book. I loved the way she was able to hit a home run in describing situations. for example, how one character would sit in the lunch room. Others would have to join her. I laughed when she went into a hotel in the middle of somewhere (I read this book several weeks ago) and told them "Elizabeth Taylor" needed a room and then brought her Mom in with a coat over her head. I loved her climbing a mountain with her ass hole boyfriend. It ended badly. And her fiance taking her to a goose farm where they force fed the animals and told her this is the life he wanted.....I guess I just liked her and wanted the best for her.
October 19, 2008
"You're going to like the farm," his mother said to me.
I kenw farms and farm people. I had spent my childhood climbing up peach trees. I was the only girl in graduate school who knew how to eat a pomegranate. Climbing up peach trees had not reminded me, however, not to wear heels to a farm. Heels work very nicely at a small market in rural France, but not quite so well in the rich rural soil and wet depth that is every farm outside of Paris. I stuck in the mud and tried to pretend with each step that I wasn't sinking.
I kenw farms and farm people. I had spent my childhood climbing up peach trees. I was the only girl in graduate school who knew how to eat a pomegranate. Climbing up peach trees had not reminded me, however, not to wear heels to a farm. Heels work very nicely at a small market in rural France, but not quite so well in the rich rural soil and wet depth that is every farm outside of Paris. I stuck in the mud and tried to pretend with each step that I wasn't sinking.
August 18, 2008
Kate and her family remind me a little bit of David Sedaris and his family. They are crazy, intense, depressed, dramatic characters whose antics and reactions made me laugh - sometimes outloud. However, at one point the book reminded me of Eat, Pray, Love and I began to tire of it. Overall, a quick and entertaining summer read.
July 28, 2009
I read this for my book club, and due to time constraints, ended up having to read it in one sitting. I think if I had been able to put it down and pick it up, I might have enjoyed it more, since the book has a sort of meandering, episodic tone. There's also an undercurrent of anxiety, which would be better served by reading in parts. That said, Taylor is a very entertaining and talented writer. I especially enjoyed the scenes with her mother.
April 8, 2012
I enjoyed this book but felt it could nave been better. The author left several threads underdeveloped that would have been more interesting I think. Not sure I would read anything else by her but I did like the parts set in other countries so if other novels were set in Europe or elsewhere I might give them a try.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews