Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College

by Victoria Marie Lees

When a high school counselor tells her learning-disabled, first-born child, Marie, she's not smart enough for college, Victoria is thrown back in time to when her father said the same thing—to her. Determined to prove them both wrong, Victoria begins college to help her five children. With raw honesty and humor, Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College chronicles Victoria's relentless pursuit of education, from community college to an Ivy League scholarship. As she juggles coursework, parenting, and self-doubt, she fights not only for her own success but also for Marie's future. Kirkus calls Determination “engaging and conversational. An inspiring tale with a triumphant conclusion.”

Genres: Memoir

211 pages, ebook

First published May 6, 2025

Reviews

[Becky Durstenfeld · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a well written book which I really enjoyed. The author was very honest in her sharing about her dreams and challenges. I so appreciated her determination. She is a great dedicated mom. I could relate to her story in some ways, being a stay at home and involved in my sons' education and also having a son who overcame some challenges through the 9 years it took him to get through college. It was great to see her husband's and children's encouragement and support and that their marriage survived the stress that her being in college did create for the family.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Sahar Abdulaziz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victoria Marie Lees's memoir, Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College unpacks the often complicated and intimidating journey of mothers everywhere—women expected to carry the weight of raising children, tending to hearts and homes, mending scraped knees, drying tears, and managing out-of-reach expectations—all while battling through life under society’s demands to self-improve and excel.
Lees’s storytelling is raw, tender, and deeply honest. It sheds light on the internal and external battles many women face but rarely discuss openly. In her story, we see her blossom into a powerful symbol of resilience, illustrating that the path to personal growth is not linear but often filled with sacrifice, heartbreak, disappointment, and grit.
She writes, “Maybe I was afraid of success and all the opportunities it brought. But life was meant to be explored, opportunities grabbed with both hands. After becoming an active part of college life, many times I wanted to run back home and hide among my children’s many activities and the dead houseplants. Even so, I knew it was time to see what I could achieve for myself.”
Brava!
As someone who has returned to school after having children, I found this story especially moving and relatable. The struggle of balancing academic goals with the demands of a full house, the fear of failure, and the deep desire to succeed—not just for myself but for those who love and depend on me—was captured so authentically in this book. It reminded me that pursuing your dreams while nurturing others is not a sign of selfishness but one of strength.
Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College is a beautiful and necessary tribute to women who dare to dream beyond their daily responsibilities. Well done, Ms. Lees.

[Kathrin T · Rating 5 out of 5]

Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College” by Victoria Marie Lees is a memoir – it is the author’s debut publication. The cover is beautifully designed, pile of books and the graduation hat show what it's all about at first glance. The book has 211 pages.

It is an uplifting, inspiring and heartfelt read that truly lives up to its title. The author’s journey through college while raising five children is not just about academic perseverance—it’s a deep, emotional story about grit, patience, and believing in oneself and others, even when the odds are stacked high.

Victoria comes from a loving family, but her father, seeing her struggle in school, was very clear: “What makes you think you’re smart enough to succeed in college, Vic?” He wanted to save her from failure, but that her own father didn’t believe in her had devastating consequences. Years later, Victoria realized: “They forgot how labels, innocently placed by parents, can sometimes become stifling for a child. By attaching labels to a child, that child could begin to live them, make them a part of who she was, make her insecure. Make the label somehow impossible to move past so she could move into her own life.”

What really stood out to me was her commitment to her children’s learning, especially in the face of special needs and learning differences. Victoria’s daughter Marie has a learning disability (ADHD) she couldn’t stay focused long enough to learn. Her belief that every child can thrive with the right support and time is both touching and motivating. “… if I attended college, I’d be able to help Marie with her high school courses. Could I learn fast enough to help my kids? Or was I kidding myself?” It’s a strong message for parents, educators, and anyone who might be doubting their own potential.

While there were a few moments where I would’ve appreciated more detail or deeper insight, especially into specific challenges and how she overcame them, the overall narrative is powerful and easy to connect with.

This is a book I’d recommend to anyone who values the power of education and the pursuit of a meaningful, independent life—especially readers who enjoy personal stories of resilience and transformation.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Matthew Connolly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lees's story is indeed one of determination and perseverance. As a former Ivy League student myself, and someone with an indirect association with an immersive foreign language program, I found her impressions of the Ivy League as an "outsider" to be a useful change of perspective. (I did find myself wishing I could reach back through time and reassure her that there was nothing to be intimidated about, that the fancy Ivy League name and reputation didn't preclude anyone from succeeding there and getting a good education by doing what she did. Nor does it guarantee that one will be educated at all, if one fails to take advantage of the opportunities! But I believe that that's true of any college or university. And that there's nothing weird or untoward about a person starting college in her forties.)

Lees's writing style is easy to read, but I did find the overall flow of the narrative a bit choppy. A section at the back of the book states that it was refined from "raw college anecdotes," and I think the seams show in a few places.

*** MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD ***
The most obvious "seam" is the handling of Marie's entrance into college. Early in the book, this is a major concern for Lees: Marie's dream to go to college to become a teacher and what that would mean for her mother, who anticipated having to support Marie and her learning disability: "...I'd probably need to monitor her college classes as well." This is a topic the author returns to repeatedly as Marie makes her way through high school. Yet, as Lees gets more involved in her own college career, Marie's academic difficulties seem to recede; and then we read, "Marie was home during the day now, having just completed her first year of college." What! This major challenge and milestone, an anticipated struggle for mother and daughter alike, an entire year dispensed of in a single-sentence aside en route to Lees's own troubles registering for a semester? There's a glaring omission there, a seam that the seamstress forgot to stitch neatly.
**** END SPOILERS ***

I would have liked to see a more even distribution of the material across the author's college years, rather than the anecdotal focus on particular moments or challenges. Still, as I said, I found her perspective on the process and the world of academia refreshing and thought-provoking.

[Liesbet Collaert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I never studied in the US, so I was curious about this topic, especially written by an untraditional student. That twist added to the stakes and challenges of a college journey.

Victoria Marie Lees grabbed my attention, encouragement, and support from the start. I was with her during the stressful moments, having my heart skip a beat when good news arrived, and having it thump faster during the nail-biting processes of waiting for updates. Then, I cheered with her when she was accepted by an Ivy League university. She had come so far and sacrificed so much!

Victoria’s story reads easily and is well written. As a Belgian, I learned a lot about American education and colleges. The good, like the high number of counselors and advisors for every subject and task, the many different courses, and the flexibility in the timelines, and the bad, such as the lack of help, understanding, and kindness of some professors.

Going to college in the US sounds exciting, but also appears to be a lot of work – and super expensive without scholarships. I’m happy for the author to have experienced this elongated education process and I respect and applaud her patience, sense of humor, courage, and determination.

[Rebecca Dolence · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t have children, but that fact didn’t take away from the impact Victoria Marie Lee’s book had on me. Yes, she juggled taking college classes as a non-traditional student in her forties while raising five children (add in in the husband and she had six). That feat alone is all withstanding, but my heart strings were pulled from chapter one, “You’re not college material, Vic.” She didn’t know that that short phrase her father stated, would have such an impact on her twenty years later. It was the beginning of Lee’s road of perseverance, determination, and grit because, to Lee’s astonishment, the school counselor said the same thing to her special needs daughter.
This story is more than following and succeeding in dreams no matter what your age, it’s about our personal and difficult journey of learning and understanding our own capabilities. Lee says, “Understanding yourself was the first step to believing in yourself. There I stood at the threshold of believing.”

[Hannah Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

An inspiring memoir full of heartwarming vulnerability and humor. Lees, a mother of five, decides to attend college so she'll be prepared to help her daughter Marie, a rising high school freshman with special needs, should Marie wish to matriculate. Why? A high school guidance counselor said Marie wasn't college material. Big mistake. Like many parents of children with special needs, Lees refuses to accept anyone putting a limit on her daughter without really knowing her abilities or dreams. What ensues is a journey of self-discovery with admirable perseverance. Lees eloquently captures the guilt, frustration, and sacrifice that comes with being a mother and wife while pursuing her own dreams and identify. With each obstacle she overcomes (and there are many), the reader cheers a little louder. Determination is an inspiring story for anyone thinking they've missed their chance or are too busy to pursue their dreams.

[Ann Campanella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victoria grows up with the voice of her father in her head telling her she doesn’t have what it takes to succeed in college. So, she pursues secretarial school, marries and has a family of five children. While her life is full and active, another voice stirs her to action when she realizes her oldest daughter’s dreams of being a preschool teacher could be dashed by a counselor who tells Marie she’s not smart enough for college. Victoria is determined to prove to both her daughter and herself that they can succeed in a world of higher education. The author shares the challenge of taking on classes with professors who are oblivious to learning disabilities, not to mention the hardship of keeping things afloat at home and in her marriage while she spends countless hours studying. How does someone gain a foothold in a scholastic environment not broadly accessible? It’s not easy, that’s for sure. But Victoria shares her own roadmap in this inspiring memoir.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was so inspired by Victoria Lee's journey. She tells her story of starting college at midlife with humility and humour. There were a few moments when I laughed out loud. When I read a memoir, the stories are often so large or so traumatic that I feel empathy but not connection. This is a quiet story by a woman who could be your neighbour. Victoria Lees is a mom who had a goal that felt impossible to her because she had been told it was impossible by others and because she had a full plate with five children who needed her to guide them in their lives and their education. But she decided that she was going to find a way to go to college despite the odds. She greatly inspired me because, one little step at a time, she persevered. Slow and steady won the race, and made me consider what goals I have allowed to languish for too long. Thank you, Ms. Lees, for sharing your story.

[Marie Gilbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough, but especially if you have a healthy sense of humor. This is what I learned from reading Victoria Marie Lees' memoir, Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College. Victoria takes us by the hand and walks us through the events from her childhood and motherhood, which finally led to that exact moment that she decided to live her dream. We readers are right there with Victoria as she and her family resort to creative and humorous ways to help Victoria succeed in graduating Magna Cum Laude from the prestigious University of Pennsylvania.
Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College is not only an enjoyable memoir, but a written guide for all of us who are afraid to spread our wings because we were told we could not fly.

[Gail · Rating 4 out of 5]

Determination: A Mother of Five Conquers College is a courageous memoir by a woman who finds her own voice while standing up for Marie, her learning-disabled daughter. When insisting that her daughter's school support Marie's college dreams, Victoria realizes that she received the same negative messages when she wanted to attend college. She was told by her father and teachers that she wasn't college material. Victoria decides the best way to encourage Marie and her other four children is to attend college herself. This memoir chronicles Victoria's journey, with its ups and downs, to an Ivy League university degree. Her courage and determination are an inspiration to everyone who has the privilege of reading this memoir.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Parents often do not realize how they can affect their children's self-perception and their adult lives. Although Victoria longed to go to college, her father didn't think she'd be able to cope. Fast forward to Victoria being the mother of a learning disabled child, and fighting for her rights to go to college. I was impressed with Victoria's determination to succeed, despite being the mother of five children. The book focused on Victoria's college story, and I was disappointed that she didn't include more of her daughter's college experiences/struggles: but she's maybe saving this for a future book. Valuable for anyone considering further education at an "advanced" age, and interesting to see how the struggle to balance family and study pans out, this is a readable and enjoyable book.

[Stephen Woodfin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victoria Lees’s memoir, Determination, reminds us that anything worth having is worth working for, that discouragement is a thief incapable of stealing the things that matter, and that the love of family is boundless and can climb any mountain. It is the story of a mother’s dedication to her five children, one of whom is learning challenged. But it is also a saga of her steadfastness to herself, which drives her to beat the odds, enroll in college while her kids are still in school, and ultimately graduate from an Ivy League university. The book’s deep authenticity strikes the reader in the heart.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! It tells the story of a woman who pursues her dream of getting a college degree while serving as a wife, running a household, and raising five children! She is determined not only to realize her dream of completing her education, but also to serve as a model for her daughter, who has some learning disabilities and has been discouraged by her high school guidance counselor.
The story is realistically told and is humorous at the same time. I felt all of the emotions, struggles, and joy that the writer felt.

[Ellen Gable · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an entertaining, balanced, and honest memoir of a housewife who returned to college in her thirties while her five children were growing up. I admire the author's "determination" in finishing this challenging journey. I enjoyed this book immensely, and it's very well written. Highly recommend.

[Tom Minder · Rating 5 out of 5]

Victoria's story of persevering through community college then the ivy league while raising five kids is inspiring. Well-written and flowing smoothly through her trials and self-doubt, the story immerses the reader into days, nights, and weekends of her persistent struggle, which led to her and her family's hard-won success.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This inspiring account tells the story of one mother’s relentless pursuit of a college education while raising five kids. Though she struggles to overcome the voices (including her own) that tell her she isn’t smart enough, important enough, or young enough, Victoria perseveres and demonstrates to us all what we can accomplish with determination.

[Roseann Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this memoir. It was engaging, inspiring, and well-written. The book had everything I wanted in a great narrative and kept me riveted to the storyline. You don’t have to be a mom or a nontraditional student or even a self-doubter to appreciate the author/narrator’s journey. Anyone who has faced or is facing a great challenge can be encouraged and uplifted by this tale.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book!

[Joanne Sher · Rating 3 out of 5]

A pretty remarkable accomplishment - getting a bachelor's degree from an Ivy League university while raising five kids. Lots of struggles along the way. Lots of determination. Inspiring.

[Angie Andriot · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who raised a child while working and trying to keep all the plates spinning, I found this book relatable and inspiring. It follows a mother of five as she takes on the challenge of going back to college, navigating academic hurdles, family demands, and that all-too-familiar sense of self-doubt that creeps in when you feel like the odd one out.

What stood out most to me was Victoria's persistence. Her struggle with dense course material, trying to decode what professors actually want, and the emotional toll of feeling behind or out of place is written with honesty and vulnerability. Watching Victoria grow, especially as a writer and as someone who starts to believe in her own voice, was moving.

[Deborah Lucas · Rating 5 out of 5]

By helping her special needs daughter pursue an education, Victoria achieved a dream her father told her was impossible: being a college graduate. While commuting between campus and home to care for her five children, she surpassed his low expectations and her own doubts by winning scholar awards and top grades at an IVY League school. This dedicated mom turned her big family’s demands into an asset by teaching her kids while studying her own class material. You know the end, but reading this compelling tale of perseverance will inspire you to realize your impossible dream.