white bees

by Amy Wilde, Virtual Voice (Narrator)

They stare at her. Point at her face. Shout laughter encased in cruel laughter toward her. Yet, despite it all, Amy shines beautiful. In this heartfelt memoir Amy endures multiple surgeries for her bilateral cleft lip and palate—including a grueling cranial facial surgery at age sixteen just as her older sister Jeannie, a model, competes in a national pageant. When she reaches her private breaking point as the girls around her start to date, she prays just one boy will see past her face of scars and into her heart—and chose her. What happens next shocks the entire student body, and has all of the girls wishing they could trade her places. A sample of Chapter 1: My mother has loved me from the very start. I must have felt her faith as she took me in her arms the day I was born and looked upon my tangled face and into my new blue eyes with courage and complete understanding, knowing the road ahead would be laced with trials and mixed with grace. High school wasn’t supposed to start this way. The same way all of my other school years had started—wearing my same face that brought the painful responses I pretended not to see. Above my basement bedroom, I heard Mom opening and shutting cupboard doors, the weight of her feet flexing the creaky floor in the rhythm of a new morning. I turned my head and inhaled the honest scent of my pillowcase, the fibers holding traces of salt water from nights I carried my burden alone. Not everyone stared at me with critical eyes. Mom stared right into my heart, my being, my soul. She didn’t ask if I was being teased or if I wished I were perfect. I’m not even sure the idea crossed her mind. Instead, she told me I was confident and beautiful, with way more friends than she’d ever had. She said I amazed her. And I believed her. I pulled my right leg to my chest and hugged my knee, then dropped my hand to trace the inch-long scar on the inside of my ankle from an IV I’d had as a new baby. Mom couldn’t remember which surgery caused the scar. But she’d said it had started as a small pierce from a needle and, once healed, had stretched as I’d grown. For some reason moving my finger back and forth over the raised scar brought me peace. My younger sister stirred in her twin bed four feet from mine. She lobbed one arm up and out from under the covers and onto the nightstand where her thick glasses rested. With the other hand, she cleared the tangled hair away from her face. She situated the glasses on her nose and asked, “Is it already time to get up?” I leaned up on one elbow, looking past her silhouette to our bedroom window. “Yup, it’s morning, Toots, even though it’s still dark outside. Jeannie is already up. I call the shower next.” “What’s that sound?” “That squeaky sound?” “Mmm hmm.” “Just Mr. Sorensen. You know, letting his dog, Max, out to pee. His gate squeaks.” “Oh. How’d you know that?” “I’ve been paying attention all summer. Listen. In a minute you’ll hear it again when he goes back inside. I’ve memorized the whole process.” Jeannie, older than me by eighteen months, threw open the door connecting our two rooms. “Hey, I lost the back to one of my pink triangle earrings. Do either of you have a pencil eraser I can use?” “I do,” Toots said. “But don’t use my favorite pencil. Just use one of the regular orange ones over there on my desk.” “I only need half. Thanks, Toots. You’re a lifesaver.” I released my hand from my ankle, stretched both legs down to the end of my bed, then pointed my toes until my feet arched and my calf muscles burned. I’d waited fifteen years to be transformed into beautiful. The “big” surgery, the cranial facial surgery I’d been waiting for, was supposed to have happened before I started high school. Instead, it hung on the horizon teasing me with time until the bone in my face matured. The surgery was partly for me, but mostly for the people who had to look at me.

Audible Audio

First published October 29, 2013

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED this book!! I grew up with Amy, and reading this book was like stepping back in time. The details she writes were wonderfully written and so descriptive, and brought back such a flood of emotions. For me, White Bees was very thought provoking, and made me look deep into my own heart. I wasn't the bully at school, or someone who teased other kids, but yet it made me realize that I didn't do enough for those around me who needed a friend. How many people am I not noticing their hurt, or their needs, and just silently worried about my own "goings on". I was so impressed with Amy's beauty both inside and out, and her deep sense of self worth. She helps everyone who reads this book realize their own value, and importance in this world. I want to be like Amy and Katie and Jeannie! Fierce, loyal, constant, and able to give their love freely. Thanks Amy for sharing the depths of your heart! Sharing a piece of your life, and your amazing positive attitude on life. This isn't just a "feel good" book. It's a book that helps you realize who YOU are as a person and see things that you didn't realize you could do. To make a small difference in someone else's life. It's a great book and it is well worth your time to read. You'll be glad you did!

[Julie Gold · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful!

I thoroughly enjoyed the story of Amy. I was amazed at her confidence, even as it waned at times. I felt her emotions, her happiness, her fears, and her struggles. I was especially impressed with the way she saw the falling snow as white bees. This was an honest and inspiring book!

[Marsha Ronquist · Rating 5 out of 5]

A strong will. Determined to be happy

I love the spirit of Any Jo. She did not let her deformity define who she was. She faced what she had to with dignity and grace. Growing up can be hard. Some kids can be mean and cruel. It was a horrible experience for me with no deformity, only being poor. I wish I had had her spirit. The ability to see the inner me and not the outer me.

[Linda Visser · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sincere story

I found the writing style of this book to be very young adult. It was the sincere account of the author's life with a birth defect.

[Leesa Curtis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved It!

I absolutely LOVED this book, even though it made me cry.... SEVERAL TIMES!
I love how raw and honest it is. 100% recommend this book.

[Sharon Anne Stanich · Rating 5 out of 5]

For all to experience

this story is one that every young person should be aware of . All around the world there are girls that are born beautiful popular and take for granted all the blessings that some of the girls never have

This is a story that all young people should give some consideration to all around the world there are millions of girls born beautiful popular and never realize the blessing that they are given ..All they have to do is to look around to see those struggling with the feeling of being accepted and loved for who and what they really are.
One of the main items in the story from the very beginning was the love that the parents grandparents and siblings had for Amy. This unconditional love helped her struggle through all the years of uncertainty her surgeries her pain and her comparison to others . You have to read the story to realize along with the white bees that God blessed her with she came through this life a most beautiful person who found her love and was able to give it back to others God bless you Amy , and may you always hold in your hearts memories your beautiful calm night that's so many other girls never ever get to experience this was a story of I can do it , and together let's all hold each others hands so that we all get to do it

[sandra wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I have ever read!!

One of the best books I have ever read!!

in reading this book I was able to connect with
Amy in a way that I didn't think was possible. So many of the everyday moments were relatable to me as a young girl growing up in the 70's and 80's. I found myself laughing out loud and crying for her and celebrating with her. This book is full of hope for the reader!!

[Dessellee Blair · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful

a beautiful and awe inspiring story that will bring hope, courage, and beauty to even the most hardened of souls.

[Monique · Rating 5 out of 5]

How awesome is to read a book written by someone you grew up with?!!!