Magical Girl Rending Nightmare

by RavensDagger

My name is Magical Girl Rending Nightmare.
I was the first. The origin point. The spark that lit the fire.

Twelve of us were chosen—twelve magical girls to protect the Earth. We failed. Now the planet is little more than shattered debris drifting through space.

I should be dead. Instead, I’ve awakened on a strange new world, pulled here by Magical Girl Crystal Genocide; the youngest of us all. She says I was sealed away on a planet shaped by my own magic. She might be right.

This place reeks of old wars and strange symbols, filled with men, who call themselves Stalkers, scavenging ruins in search of miracles. I think this world belongs to another of us. One of the twelve.

We have to find her.
We have to save her.
And then, together, we’ll find the rest.

Before it's too late.

Genres: Fantasy

409 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 14, 2025

About the author

A bird that likes comfy and happy things, and also knives. Once ate a god’s eye and awakened the ability to see all that is good in the world. Known to steal shiny ideas and baubles. Currently forbidden from writing his own bios.

Reviews

[Issy Waldrom · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first book of the series was a whole lot of fun (albeit with some trigger warnings), and this installment does even better. There is a mystery that surrounds the core of each world, of how the magical girl's power has shaped it, and that by itself would make for an intriguing tale, but add on Crystal and Alice's personalities and interactions, and you have a story that is so much more. It's cute, funny, and really enjoyable to read. I have no idea how many more books there will be in the series, but I am looking forward to reading them all.

[Dave Stone · Rating 3 out of 5]

Different from book 1
It seems that each book in this series will be set in a different world. The world of book 2 is a fictional world from Roadside Picnic by Arkady Strugatsky, and Boris Strugatsky published in Russia 1972. This little trick is so cool that I'm cutting this book a lot of slack.
I was initially unhappy about the abrupt change of tone and darker mood. I still think this could have been a better book if it had been more like book 1, but what it is isn't bad... just, less fun, and quirky.
Looks like book 3 is shaping up to be darker still.
-Man, I hope that's a false impression. But that joke at the end here was priceless.

[Ernest · Rating 3 out of 5]

This volume was pretty bad. We have Nightmare and Crystal together this time saving another magical girl but it felt just so... boring. If first book was beautifully whimsical this second was not. Also I wanted to see some more in-deep emotional interactions between the Nightmare and Crystal but there were none. It picked up right at the end but by then it was too late.

[Reiji · Rating 1 out of 5]

First 50% of the book was a real slog. You did not misread the summary, there are "Stalkers", you get The Zone, Pripyat,artifact, etc. It's an AU with the authors ideas mixed in. It made me wonder if book 1 was also AU of a property I did not recognize.

On a technical level it's better executed than the previous book but I liked it less. One of the reasons is that I'm not all that into the Stalkers aesthetic and atmospheric horror had trouble landing.

It was very exposition heavy and a lot of time was dedicated to establishing the world it's inspired by and their divergence and not enough time was dedicated to the characters.

One of the reasons half of the book a slog is because it's trying to do tense and suspenseful which did not really work. You have a character named Koshey (not sure if it's meant to be the same one as in the games) so imagine him doing dodge rolls and sneaking from bush to bush while 2 characters in godmode stroll alongside him humoring him like a puppy, at least that is how it felt.

What is starvation to people who do not eat? What threat is a gun? They take everything in stride and don't feel to be in any rush. I was surprised they brought back sleep. I thought it would be used to help Rending process her own captivity or explore characters in some way. Like crystal who practically did not sleep all last book feeling finally safe enough to sleep,etc but nope. This is where the threat of anomalies should come in, strange natural phenomena and shifting stands that could actually trouble our protagonists but nothing comes of it. The whole aspect is under explored and because of a level headed approach/level of powers they are never an issue.

Think of a zombie story where the writer has written themselves into a situation where they need a teleporting horde to sneak up on the protagonists (which is hardly ideal) but they decide to do nothing instead.Imagine that part with grandma and vasilisa happening to main heroes. The anomalies are a goldmine of horror even for characters with very high power levels. In this regard I think it was a mistake to open the book with them tanking the time storm and freeing a guy from a time loop. Even if the guy's loop illustrated vasilisa's own loop succinctly helping better grasp the concept, for a second you could have thought he was her father and he got them into the city.

Another issue is that Koshey is too good at his job and is not very social so he may as well be an intimate object. The book picks up when Koshey leaves and is replaced with vasilisa who is a dependent so the girls actually have to put an effort into looking after her. One of the things that was disappointing about Koshey was that he had no arc, he took a job and finished it. He had no backstory where he had failed a version of vasilisa and wanted to make things right or something like that. Like the guy from the car loop his contribution is utility. A lot of juice was left unsqueezed from his character Given some of the names of the character I expected more influence from folklore than the games.

Dream Charter does not speak anymore (╥﹏╥) .

Some writing choices I found puzzling or contradictory.
Not sure why a bear gets a 1000 years of nightmare genjutsu while some attempted murderers just get a slap on the wrist. Is possible dissection any better than being splattered on a tarp? The reasoning with the camp leader was that by killing him more people will be saved in the long run so logically same reasoning would apply to the scientist, no?

He was indeed not a very good scientists because he saw Rending vanish bunch of dogs into a shadow and he still thinks he and his guys can force any kind of issue? When Rending is walking into a warehouse before the lab why does not her night vision work? If it was meant to create an atmosphere then it should have been Vasilisa's POV because she would naturally have more fear.

Scientist also mentions that their entry point to the lab was the deepest one to the zone and there are no shortcuts they can take but later the characters act like he suggested one and they are deliberately choosing not to take it. Fragment of an older draft?

I think despite it being cliche that whole segment would have worked better if during the tea, main characters got drugged by an artifact powered tea. Vasilisa would be distracted so notice too late but have alarms going off in her head due to what happened to her with babuskas tea. Mcs can be passing out as she is overpowered, they wake up at the lab and things play out the same from there.

Similarly I think part where Rending complains to herself about bringing Vasilisa along should have been moved to an earlier part. Yes soothes herself by saying Vasilisa might be the key to everything but that is kind of self evident at that point. The whole zone is hunting her, she has no one else looking out for her, she is compelled to go to the center, if she dies the whole zone resets and they might get stuck and not long ago Rending thought vasilisa might be Fractured Time with amnesia so I was thinking to myself "what the fuck are you even talking about?"

Like the vasilisa herself notes at some point she is just along for the ride and has nothing to do. She speaks just to say something and it did not have to be that way.
Her character is really hurt by being some shallow construct instead of a full looping person.
She does not come off as brave because her need to go into a zone is a compulsion. She is underprepared and even in universe she would have gotten a lot less further than most of her other versions if not for the girls, so where is her distinctness. One of the good ways to show this would have been her lacking power but having some other virtue that shines when she is not alone or to have part of her always remembering things or getting further and further thanks to her past incarnations (think doctor who Series 9 ep Heaven Sent) but we got none of that.

Since she is a shell we did not even get the basics. She gets drugged up by an old woman, walks up covered in blood and enough time passed for her hair to grow out. Should there not an impact?

She finds out she is a construct, she came to the zone to save her father who might have never existed and her mind is slowly becoming unrecognizable to her. In the end she finds out whole purpose of her existence is to put her hand on a scanner that unlocks a lock.

Everyone has been shit to her so she hints at unreasonably fearing the girls might betray her too but it turns out that in a way they do need to choose between her and the lock.

Another gold mine is left unexplored. Her reaction is muted, indifference or sense of rightness.
A generous interpretation is that as construct she feels fulfilling her purpose is the right thing to do but less charitable one is that the author did not want to deal with full implications/potential of their own story.

[Joshua Buck · Rating 4 out of 5]

better than the first

A good continuation from the first. Overall, it feels better out of it. Interaction between Crystal and nightmare is enjoyable. Time loop is interesting, though it feels like it could have been fleshed out a little bit more. I will likely continue the series.

[Aaron Wiley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun read

Time loops can be complex to get right and describe. The challenges the characters face were mysterious and yet felt right and did not contradict themselves. The characters had entertaining dialogs as we got to know the magical girls more. Can't wait for the next book.

[Roberto Flores · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is just terrible. It is 50 pages of story in a 500 page book. It has slow pacing, nothing ever happens, it wraps up in a few pages, and there is never any tension to the conflict. Save your time and just find a synopsis, this is just a waste of time.

[G. Glenn]

Magical Girl stories for sci-fi readers

Very well-written and interesting world/storyline created with magical girls embedded in a modern reality setting. Fun characters and plot development. Definitely recommend.

[Shannon (That's So Poe) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Really interesting world building with time magic gone astray, but a bit grittier and less fun than the previous book in the series.

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one (the second in the series) is better than the first; less silly with more tension. Loved it.

[Chance · Rating 3 out of 5]

they should just powered threw from the start

This was pretty much ever the author giving a satire of dislike for the S.T.A.L.K.E.R video games or a love letter. Hard to see which.